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The Cougar Chronicles #1
Confessions of an Alli Cat
Thirty-five year-old Allison “Alli” Lancaster has it all—a fabulous job, a beautiful 15 year-old daughter, a hilarious BFF and a gorgeous house with a pool and Jacuzzi in an exclusive Las Vegas neighborhood. What she doesn’t have is a husband, because she kicked her lousy, cheating ex to the curb nine months ago. Since then, Alli has paid her dues with seemingly endless self-improvement and seemingly endless mourning. Now she’s ready to move on and try new things.
Alli’s idea of “trying new things” is nothing like that devil-of-a-best-friend of hers. Somehow, Sara, the devil of a best friend, talks Alli into trying out a sex toy, sleeping with a younger man and letting a stranger in a lab jacket put hot wax on a place that should never, ever, ever see wax. And that’s only the beginning.
Alli never saw her life going quite like this. She also never thought she’d meet someone else who had the very real potential to change her life forever.
But she did.
Enter the new guy. He’s gorgeous, refined and mature. He’s also marriage material. But that poses a problem for Alli, who renounced the institution of marriage when she renounced her ex. What’s a girl to do?
They say that what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. But what the heck happens when you can’t leave Vegas? Well, you spin the wheel, of course. You play the game and let the chips fall where they may.
Alli just hopes she can find them all.
*******
Caution! Only read this book if you want to laugh and are not offended at adult themes and language. This is not a Young Adult book.
Alli’s idea of “trying new things” is nothing like that devil-of-a-best-friend of hers. Somehow, Sara, the devil of a best friend, talks Alli into trying out a sex toy, sleeping with a younger man and letting a stranger in a lab jacket put hot wax on a place that should never, ever, ever see wax. And that’s only the beginning.
Alli never saw her life going quite like this. She also never thought she’d meet someone else who had the very real potential to change her life forever.
But she did.
Enter the new guy. He’s gorgeous, refined and mature. He’s also marriage material. But that poses a problem for Alli, who renounced the institution of marriage when she renounced her ex. What’s a girl to do?
They say that what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. But what the heck happens when you can’t leave Vegas? Well, you spin the wheel, of course. You play the game and let the chips fall where they may.
Alli just hopes she can find them all.
*******
Caution! Only read this book if you want to laugh and are not offended at adult themes and language. This is not a Young Adult book.
267 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 23, 2012
84 people are currently reading
4306 people want to read
About the author
Courtney Cole
44 books4,546 followersCourtney Cole is a New York Times and USA Today bestselling novelist who loves to eat your emotions for breakfast.
She believes in the power of blonde hair dye and red lipstick, and that a well-timed smile can save the world.
Learn more about Courtney and her books at www.courtneycolecreates.com
Find her on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/#!/courtneyc...
She believes in the power of blonde hair dye and red lipstick, and that a well-timed smile can save the world.
Learn more about Courtney and her books at www.courtneycolecreates.com
Find her on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/#!/courtneyc...
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 565 reviews
September 19, 2013
"You need to reach down deep and find that wild, courageous girl you used to be before Rick the Dick put an arrow through your heart. And your Vagina."
In accordance with everyone else that read this book, I laughed until I cried...Alli's inner dialogue (and sometimes outer dialogue) is fah-reaking hilarious!!!!
Allison is a fairly newly divorced mother of one really kick butt teenage girl. Her husband, "Rick the Dick", apparently was a cheating fool. He shows up a couple of times during the story and proves how Dicky he can be.
"Rick can go to fucking hell.
I sigh proudly. Sara would b proud of me. I might not have said the F word, but I definitely thought it without flinching.
That's fucking progress."
So Allison is going through a bit of an identity crisis. She's thirty five years old, beginning to sag in funny places, but she's also in her sexual prime. She has little to no experience outside of her marriage bed...and that's including fun toys. So her best friend (and naughty enabler) gives her a mighty shove in the right direction. She drags Alli's ass to a gigolo for a night of sexual freedom, trying to stimulate her bestie into getting back on the horse...the dating horse, that is. Instead, she looses the wild woman in Alli, who quickly becomes addicted to what Slade, her gigolo, gives her. But Slade is awfully young, and Alli is both turned on and guilt ridden by her new found sexuality.
Meanwhile, Alli's professional life is changing as well. Her new boss Alex is...ahem, well, lets just lay it out there...absolute perfection. He's around her age, he's settled, he's got a great sense of humor, and he turns her on like NONE OTHER.
"He laughs and, no lie, a shiver rolls down my spine. I may want to take a bath in his laugh. Then shove it up against the wall and have violent sex with it. And I should probably not drink this much wine ever again."
So on the weekends, Alli is learning to get her groove back. During the week, she's dealing with her crisis of conscience, and trying out the numerous things her best friend comes up with to make her feel and look sexy and fun...Brazilian waxes and Botox, naked hot tubbing and gigolos. Girl goes a little bit cray-cray, and it was a lot of fun to watch!
There is a bit of a deeper message, if you look reeeeally hard and stop laughing long enough to pay attention. Alli is a great heroine. She's easy to relate to. Her daughter loves her, and they have a wonderful relationship. Her best friend is really just a freaking loony bin, and her husband Rick the Dick...he truly lives up to his name. On the other hand, the men in her life are somewhat opposites, and fulfill different needs.
What kept me from going the full five stars is how the story wrapped up. There is a bit of a twist that is fairly easy to catch, but one that is also somewhat taboo. Although the steam level is not erotic, the subject matter itself may seem that way to some. I did like the resolution, but it was almost too quick. Wrapped up with a pretty bow, which was really a great bow...but it was too fast and too easy. I wasn't sure if I ethically agreed with the way that Alli handled the situation. However, it was really pretty easy to take this read for the lighthearted, fun read that it was meant to be.
If you're wanting something totally different, if you need to laugh your A$$ off...READ THIS! If Seduction and Snacks type humor is a bit over the top for you but you still like the potty humor like me, then this is perfect for you!
"During the day, I'm Allison. I'm responsible and hard-working and ambitious.
But at night, when I'm not at work, I'm Alli Cat. I'm fierce and daring and fun. And I have a freaking bald vagina."
Want to read
February 11, 2013 CAN ANYONE WHO HAS READ THIS ANSWER THE QUESTION HERE?
so, I've been told this one'll make me laugh till I cry... :)
so, I've been told this one'll make me laugh till I cry... :)
July 30, 2016
Seriously, this is one of the funnier books that I've read in a while. I love a good book that can make you laugh out loud and keeps you hooked to the story. Courtney Cole did a great job doing that.
"Welcome to Crazy Town. I hope you enjoy your stay."
Allison "Alli" is thirty-five and recently divorced after her husband of fifteen years cheated on her. Her best friend, Sara, thinks it's been long enough and wants Alli to start dating again. Alli isn't very keen on this idea, but Sara is relentless.
"I’m tired of women acting like having sexual needs is a bad thing. I’m all about embracing it."
Sara first talks Alli into get a vibrator. At first Alli was against it, but gives in and grows quite fond of the vibrator she nicknames, Geronimo. Considering that a success, Sara pushes and convinces Alli to go out with a gigolo named Shade. It's a way to prepare her for dating some serious later.
"Welcome to the best night of your life."
Shade is twenty-three and has been an escort for six months. He graduated college with a Sociology degree, but he's still trying to figure out what he wants to do and if he wants to go back to get an MBA. In the meantime, why not have fun. He's a guy who likes to have sex and gets paid a lot to do it, so what better job to do until he figures out what he wants to do. He gives Alli one of the best sexual experiences she's ever had.
Then, Sara gets the bright idea that they need to get Brazilian waxes. Sara is a pro at them, but this will be a first for Alli. I cracked up while reading this part.
Poor Alli. It was so traumatic for her she even passed out. That night and the next day was awful for her. She was very sensitive and couldn't let anything touch her, so err go, no panties. This made for an interesting conversation with her new boss on his first day in the office.
Alex Harris is the new senior VP of Business Development. He's also Alli's new boss. He's gorgeous and Alli can't help but notice. What she doesn't realize at first is that Alex notices her too. In addition to the panty incident, Alli has other blunders with Botox and a bronzer with Alex - both with have you laughing.
Alli soon admits her feelings to Alex and vice versa, but they still have the issue of working together. Alli doesn't think it's a good idea for them to date and work together. Can they find a happy medium somewhere or will this keep them from moving forward?
"You know what they say…a happy vagina is a happy woman. Well, they might not say that, but they should."
This laugh out loud sexy book is one that I would definitely recommend for all of those that like romantic comedies. Pick it up and enjoy the crazy experiences this "cougar" has.
"Welcome to Crazy Town. I hope you enjoy your stay."
Allison "Alli" is thirty-five and recently divorced after her husband of fifteen years cheated on her. Her best friend, Sara, thinks it's been long enough and wants Alli to start dating again. Alli isn't very keen on this idea, but Sara is relentless.
"I’m tired of women acting like having sexual needs is a bad thing. I’m all about embracing it."
Sara first talks Alli into get a vibrator. At first Alli was against it, but gives in and grows quite fond of the vibrator she nicknames, Geronimo. Considering that a success, Sara pushes and convinces Alli to go out with a gigolo named Shade. It's a way to prepare her for dating some serious later.
"Welcome to the best night of your life."
Shade is twenty-three and has been an escort for six months. He graduated college with a Sociology degree, but he's still trying to figure out what he wants to do and if he wants to go back to get an MBA. In the meantime, why not have fun. He's a guy who likes to have sex and gets paid a lot to do it, so what better job to do until he figures out what he wants to do. He gives Alli one of the best sexual experiences she's ever had.
Then, Sara gets the bright idea that they need to get Brazilian waxes. Sara is a pro at them, but this will be a first for Alli. I cracked up while reading this part.
Poor Alli. It was so traumatic for her she even passed out. That night and the next day was awful for her. She was very sensitive and couldn't let anything touch her, so err go, no panties. This made for an interesting conversation with her new boss on his first day in the office.
Alex Harris is the new senior VP of Business Development. He's also Alli's new boss. He's gorgeous and Alli can't help but notice. What she doesn't realize at first is that Alex notices her too. In addition to the panty incident, Alli has other blunders with Botox and a bronzer with Alex - both with have you laughing.
Alli soon admits her feelings to Alex and vice versa, but they still have the issue of working together. Alli doesn't think it's a good idea for them to date and work together. Can they find a happy medium somewhere or will this keep them from moving forward?
"You know what they say…a happy vagina is a happy woman. Well, they might not say that, but they should."
This laugh out loud sexy book is one that I would definitely recommend for all of those that like romantic comedies. Pick it up and enjoy the crazy experiences this "cougar" has.
![Profile Image for [~Ami~]♥Sexy Dexy♥ .](/_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.gr-assets.com%2Fimages%2FS%2Fcompressed.photo.goodreads.com%2Fusers%2F1388500902i%2F22427047._UY200_CR8%2C0%2C200%2C200_.jpg&w=128&q=75)
October 18, 2013
4 stars
(I couldn't find a good casting for Alli and other images would be *ahem* inappropriate so have to make do with just the lovely Shade hmmm x)
With the help of her BFF, newly divorced Alli gets a young escort/gigolo. What she wasn't expecting was for Shade to be connected to her through other people in her life.
This was a sarcastic LOL book. Some parts were completely humiliating for Alli and I felt myself going red faced if I ever was to be in those situations.
Alli was a funny crazy likeable heroine and Shade was delicious and very mature for his age.
I would have loved to give this a 5 star but I was not happy by the ending at all! I guess it was for the best but it was not suppose to end that way. I would recommend this if you want to pick up a quick over-the-top crazy yet sexy book x
(I couldn't find a good casting for Alli and other images would be *ahem* inappropriate so have to make do with just the lovely Shade hmmm x)
With the help of her BFF, newly divorced Alli gets a young escort/gigolo. What she wasn't expecting was for Shade to be connected to her through other people in her life.
This was a sarcastic LOL book. Some parts were completely humiliating for Alli and I felt myself going red faced if I ever was to be in those situations.
There are times, like right now, when I can totally understand why hamsters eat their young
Alli was a funny crazy likeable heroine and Shade was delicious and very mature for his age.
when I'm finished with you, you're going to have a hard time remembering your own name
I would have loved to give this a 5 star but I was not happy by the ending at all! I guess it was for the best but it was not suppose to end that way. I would recommend this if you want to pick up a quick over-the-top crazy yet sexy book x
November 12, 2012
This book is exactly what I needed... HIL-ARI-OUS!!!! I was constantly choking back the laughter so I wouldn't wake up the kids...
Review - http://lorisbookblog.blogspot.com/201...
Review - http://lorisbookblog.blogspot.com/201...
January 19, 2013
4.5 funny stars!!! This book was hilarious!
Meet Alli: Hi. My name is Alli. My husband of fifteen years cheated on me with every female in a twenty mile vicinity who was willing and had a heartbeat. I though about going all Lorena Bobbitt on him and chopping his dick off. But I didn’t. Instead, I took him to the cleaners in our divorce and then I went crazy. But it was the good kind of crazy.
Allison Lancaster is 35 years old and recently divorced from her cheating husband of 15 years ‘Rick the Dick’. Rick and Alli have one teenage daughter together(Sophie). Alli is a successful business woman who has been in a bit of a slump since her marriage ended. Alli’s wild and crazy best friend, Sara, decides she needs a little action and some fun in her life. After taking her to buy an ‘adult toy’ and getting her BB waxed, they go to Utopia. Utopia is a high end exclusive club for women to come to. Prior to coming to Utopia, you choose your male ‘escort’ for the night online. Alli has chosen ‘Shade’. Shade is young(at least 10 years Alli’s junior) he is sexy, fun, and hot! Alli and Shade have a lot of fun together. She decides to keep seeing him. As luck would have it, Alli’s ex ‘The Dick’ hires a swim coach for their daughter. She finds swim coach Colby(aka Shade) in her backyard swimming pool with her teen daughter. Talk about awkward. As if thats not enough, Alli keeps seeing ‘Shade’, but develops a friendship with Colby. The lines get blurred between the two men. As if the situation is not complicated enough, Alli has a sexy new boss, a few years older than her named Alex. She starts developing feelings for Alex, but then she finds out something shocking... Its a hot mess.
Alli is real and relatable. She is also freaking hilarious! Most of the book is written from her pov, but the short chapters we get from Shade/Colby and Alex are nice too. I LOVE LOVE LOVED Shade! He was awesome- such a hottie, but a really sweet guy too. Alex was great as well, and the whole Alex, Colby/Shade dynamic brought an interesting twist to the book.
I can not reiterate enough how funny this book was! Alli and her best friend Sara will have you rolling with laughter. Some of their conversations were just priceless. Their trip to get Botox, naked hot tubing/ in bed, Brazilian waxes- it was just too much! Sophie was pretty funny at times as well.
Now I will say, this book is NOT ya... Its got a lot of adult themes/language... I would say if you are easily offended it may not be for you! You probably shouldn’t read the quotes below either...
I however am not easily offended :D Some of my favorite funny lines:
”You like penis! No, you fucking love penis. You just need to remind your vagina of that. Girl, you’ve got this. You’re totally going to own it.”
“Dad was being a dick, and I don’t like being around dicks.” I automatically start to tell her not to call her father a dick. But he is being a dick. And we might as well call a dick a dick.
“I personally don’t prefer women on top. I think most men would agree. I’m always a little nervous you’re going to miscalculate and crush my dick.” “And dad, stay out of mom’s room. It’s not your bedroom anymore. Her dildo’s are her business. Not yours. “
If you’re looking for something laugh out loud funny, this is for you! A fun, steamy and sexy story!
Meet Alli: Hi. My name is Alli. My husband of fifteen years cheated on me with every female in a twenty mile vicinity who was willing and had a heartbeat. I though about going all Lorena Bobbitt on him and chopping his dick off. But I didn’t. Instead, I took him to the cleaners in our divorce and then I went crazy. But it was the good kind of crazy.
Allison Lancaster is 35 years old and recently divorced from her cheating husband of 15 years ‘Rick the Dick’. Rick and Alli have one teenage daughter together(Sophie). Alli is a successful business woman who has been in a bit of a slump since her marriage ended. Alli’s wild and crazy best friend, Sara, decides she needs a little action and some fun in her life. After taking her to buy an ‘adult toy’ and getting her BB waxed, they go to Utopia. Utopia is a high end exclusive club for women to come to. Prior to coming to Utopia, you choose your male ‘escort’ for the night online. Alli has chosen ‘Shade’. Shade is young(at least 10 years Alli’s junior) he is sexy, fun, and hot! Alli and Shade have a lot of fun together. She decides to keep seeing him. As luck would have it, Alli’s ex ‘The Dick’ hires a swim coach for their daughter. She finds swim coach Colby(aka Shade) in her backyard swimming pool with her teen daughter. Talk about awkward. As if thats not enough, Alli keeps seeing ‘Shade’, but develops a friendship with Colby. The lines get blurred between the two men. As if the situation is not complicated enough, Alli has a sexy new boss, a few years older than her named Alex. She starts developing feelings for Alex, but then she finds out something shocking... Its a hot mess.
Alli is real and relatable. She is also freaking hilarious! Most of the book is written from her pov, but the short chapters we get from Shade/Colby and Alex are nice too. I LOVE LOVE LOVED Shade! He was awesome- such a hottie, but a really sweet guy too. Alex was great as well, and the whole Alex, Colby/Shade dynamic brought an interesting twist to the book.
I can not reiterate enough how funny this book was! Alli and her best friend Sara will have you rolling with laughter. Some of their conversations were just priceless. Their trip to get Botox, naked hot tubing/ in bed, Brazilian waxes- it was just too much! Sophie was pretty funny at times as well.
Now I will say, this book is NOT ya... Its got a lot of adult themes/language... I would say if you are easily offended it may not be for you! You probably shouldn’t read the quotes below either...
I however am not easily offended :D Some of my favorite funny lines:
”You like penis! No, you fucking love penis. You just need to remind your vagina of that. Girl, you’ve got this. You’re totally going to own it.”
“Dad was being a dick, and I don’t like being around dicks.” I automatically start to tell her not to call her father a dick. But he is being a dick. And we might as well call a dick a dick.
“I personally don’t prefer women on top. I think most men would agree. I’m always a little nervous you’re going to miscalculate and crush my dick.” “And dad, stay out of mom’s room. It’s not your bedroom anymore. Her dildo’s are her business. Not yours. “
If you’re looking for something laugh out loud funny, this is for you! A fun, steamy and sexy story!
July 25, 2013
This book is Laugh Out Loud fun and I thoroughly enjoyed it. A reader can get tired of broken girls with secret crappy pasts books. Allison Lancaster is recently divorced after 15 years of marriage and with the guidance of her BFF Sara she gets her sexy back.
There are soo many funny scenes…
• Brazillian wax
• Sara on telephone with Rick the Dick
• Botox
• Running over Vanessa
The story not only has Ali pov but a chapter here and there of other characters as well which made the story interesting.
The story was sexy and hilarious BUT the ending reveal and the main character’s failure to disclose left me pretty unhappy with the story as a whole.
There are soo many funny scenes…
• Brazillian wax
• Sara on telephone with Rick the Dick
• Botox
• Running over Vanessa
The story not only has Ali pov but a chapter here and there of other characters as well which made the story interesting.
The story was sexy and hilarious BUT the ending reveal and the main character’s failure to disclose left me pretty unhappy with the story as a whole.
February 6, 2013
Absolutely Hilarious !!!!!
Honestly I laughed my butt off with this book .... and this would be a major part of the book , that I laughed so hard I thought I was going to pee my pants honestly ....
Twenty minutes later, I am terrified. I am naked from the waist down, flat on my back with a tiny towel covering up my female parts. A tiny little chick with an eyebrow ring is getting the wax ready and
I’m panting again. Did I mention that the wax will be hot? And that it is going on my private, tender female parts? I pant harder.
“Calm down,” Sara instructs, sitting next to me.
They don’t usually allow spectators in, but Sara convinced them that I would need my hand held. At the moment, I think I would rather hold hands with the devil himself, considering how it is Sara’s fault
that I am in this predicament in the first place.
“Your vagina will thank you,” she announces to me. “So suck it up and put your big girl panties on. You’re going to
be fine.” “I can’t put my big girl panties on,” I
hiss. “Because I’m getting the hair on my vagina ripped out by the roots. So, obviously, I can’t pull up any panties, biggirl
or otherwise.” Sara rolls her eyes.
“Why do you have to be so melodramatic?” she asks, peering at me
over the top of her fashion magazine. “This is for your own good. Do you really want to walk around with something
that needs a weed-wacker?” The Waxer-Girl (because I have no
idea what her true title is) giggles as she
turns around, a wooden spatula thingie in
her hand. I gulp and I know my eyes are
wild as I assess the room for an escape
hatch. Without even looking up, Sara puts
a hand on my arm. “Don’t even think about it,” she says,
while still reading her article. “I’m going to throw up,” I try.
“No, you’re not,” she answers. “I have cramps,” I attempt.
“Doesn’t matter,” she replies. “I think I’m pregnant,” I hedge, as a last attempt. “Impossible,” she says heartlessly.
“And irrelevant. Preggos need bald vajayjays too. Now, let’s get on with it, shall we?”She’s looking at me now, with one
thinly sculpted brow practically raised into her red hairline. I gulp and nod, squeezing my eyes shut. I do not want to
watch this. At all.“For the record,” I tell Sara while
keeping my eyes tightly closed, “I do not need a weed-wacker.”
“Irrelevant,” she says again, her attention once again absorbed by her
magazine. I sigh. Waxer-Girl clatters around a little bit
by my elbow and then examines my vag. “Okay, Ms. Lancaster,” she says. “I’m just going to first spread the wax, then…”
I interrupt her. “I don’t want to know,”
I say firmly. “Just do it. I’m not looking.”
“Okay, m’am,” she says. I can tell she's smiling, but I don’t care.
Considering the circumstances, I also
overlook the fact that she called me the
dreaded m’am. I feel the wax, hotter than I would have
imagined, getting spread on the part of me
that should never be exposed in a salon or
anywhere else with fluorescent lighting.
Ever. Except in a doctor’s office which
can’t be helped. She puts something thin on top of the
wax. Then she pats it down. And pats
some more. And since I have had my
eyebrows waxed faithfully every six
weeks like clockwork since I was a
teenager, I know what comes next. I brace
for it. And brace for it. And hold my
breath and brace for it again.
And then it comes.
Riiiiiiippppppppp.
The room literally blurs for a second. I
think I might actually be having an
aneurysm from the white-hot pain. I can
barely even see straight.
“Holy shit!” I yelp. I grab ahold of
Sara’s arm now and sink my fingernails into it.
“Oh, so now you want to hold my
hand?” Sara says with interest. And a
little bit of snark. “No,” I snarl. “Now I would like to rip
your hand off. Just like you just had my
pubic hairs ripped off. It’s only fitting,
don’t you think?” She shakes her head. “Oh, Alli. You
truly are a drama queen. Now I know
where Sophie gets it. You’re going to “I might,” I tell her confidently. “But I doubt you will.”
Sara rolls her eyes as the second round
of wax gets applied. Pat, pat, pat.
I cringe, getting ready.
Riiiiiippppppp.
I yelp again. And dig my nails deeper
into Sara’s arm. If possible, that was
worse than the first time.
“Oh, holy pygmy monkeys,” I moan,
wanting desperately to cradle my vagina
and sing to it. I’m sorry, my pet, I tell it silently. I
know I promised that I wouldn’t hurt
you. It was her idea. Not mine.
“Alli, you’re going to be fine,” Sara
says impatiently. “Beauty comes with a
price.” I can hear a tiny bit of sympathy in
survive, trust me.”
her voice now, though. Because of that, I
wonder if I’m bleeding down there.
“Not now, Sara,” I say through gritted
teeth. “I’m apologizing to my vagina.”
Waxer-Girl laughs aloud now, and I
glare at her. She averts her gaze instantly
and applies more wax.
NOW you see why I was ......
Ok now that I got that outta the way lol ...
This book is about a 35 yr old woman Alli , her best friend decides that after getting divorced from a 15 yr marriage where her husband cheated on her it is time for Alli to get back into the dating scene . SOOO the Good BFF that Sara is gets her to go out with her to meet with a Male Gigilo ... She has the time of her life and from then it is one funny thing after another ... and add in a little bit of interesting happenings and you will surely enjoy this book .
I don't want to give to much away in the book because Then there is no point in reading it , but I will say this If you Loved Wallbanger , you will surely LOVE this one ...
I can not wait to see what Courtney Cole has in store for us with the next book in this series
Honestly I laughed my butt off with this book .... and this would be a major part of the book , that I laughed so hard I thought I was going to pee my pants honestly ....
Twenty minutes later, I am terrified. I am naked from the waist down, flat on my back with a tiny towel covering up my female parts. A tiny little chick with an eyebrow ring is getting the wax ready and
I’m panting again. Did I mention that the wax will be hot? And that it is going on my private, tender female parts? I pant harder.
“Calm down,” Sara instructs, sitting next to me.
They don’t usually allow spectators in, but Sara convinced them that I would need my hand held. At the moment, I think I would rather hold hands with the devil himself, considering how it is Sara’s fault
that I am in this predicament in the first place.
“Your vagina will thank you,” she announces to me. “So suck it up and put your big girl panties on. You’re going to
be fine.” “I can’t put my big girl panties on,” I
hiss. “Because I’m getting the hair on my vagina ripped out by the roots. So, obviously, I can’t pull up any panties, biggirl
or otherwise.” Sara rolls her eyes.
“Why do you have to be so melodramatic?” she asks, peering at me
over the top of her fashion magazine. “This is for your own good. Do you really want to walk around with something
that needs a weed-wacker?” The Waxer-Girl (because I have no
idea what her true title is) giggles as she
turns around, a wooden spatula thingie in
her hand. I gulp and I know my eyes are
wild as I assess the room for an escape
hatch. Without even looking up, Sara puts
a hand on my arm. “Don’t even think about it,” she says,
while still reading her article. “I’m going to throw up,” I try.
“No, you’re not,” she answers. “I have cramps,” I attempt.
“Doesn’t matter,” she replies. “I think I’m pregnant,” I hedge, as a last attempt. “Impossible,” she says heartlessly.
“And irrelevant. Preggos need bald vajayjays too. Now, let’s get on with it, shall we?”She’s looking at me now, with one
thinly sculpted brow practically raised into her red hairline. I gulp and nod, squeezing my eyes shut. I do not want to
watch this. At all.“For the record,” I tell Sara while
keeping my eyes tightly closed, “I do not need a weed-wacker.”
“Irrelevant,” she says again, her attention once again absorbed by her
magazine. I sigh. Waxer-Girl clatters around a little bit
by my elbow and then examines my vag. “Okay, Ms. Lancaster,” she says. “I’m just going to first spread the wax, then…”
I interrupt her. “I don’t want to know,”
I say firmly. “Just do it. I’m not looking.”
“Okay, m’am,” she says. I can tell she's smiling, but I don’t care.
Considering the circumstances, I also
overlook the fact that she called me the
dreaded m’am. I feel the wax, hotter than I would have
imagined, getting spread on the part of me
that should never be exposed in a salon or
anywhere else with fluorescent lighting.
Ever. Except in a doctor’s office which
can’t be helped. She puts something thin on top of the
wax. Then she pats it down. And pats
some more. And since I have had my
eyebrows waxed faithfully every six
weeks like clockwork since I was a
teenager, I know what comes next. I brace
for it. And brace for it. And hold my
breath and brace for it again.
And then it comes.
Riiiiiiippppppppp.
The room literally blurs for a second. I
think I might actually be having an
aneurysm from the white-hot pain. I can
barely even see straight.
“Holy shit!” I yelp. I grab ahold of
Sara’s arm now and sink my fingernails into it.
“Oh, so now you want to hold my
hand?” Sara says with interest. And a
little bit of snark. “No,” I snarl. “Now I would like to rip
your hand off. Just like you just had my
pubic hairs ripped off. It’s only fitting,
don’t you think?” She shakes her head. “Oh, Alli. You
truly are a drama queen. Now I know
where Sophie gets it. You’re going to “I might,” I tell her confidently. “But I doubt you will.”
Sara rolls her eyes as the second round
of wax gets applied. Pat, pat, pat.
I cringe, getting ready.
Riiiiiippppppp.
I yelp again. And dig my nails deeper
into Sara’s arm. If possible, that was
worse than the first time.
“Oh, holy pygmy monkeys,” I moan,
wanting desperately to cradle my vagina
and sing to it. I’m sorry, my pet, I tell it silently. I
know I promised that I wouldn’t hurt
you. It was her idea. Not mine.
“Alli, you’re going to be fine,” Sara
says impatiently. “Beauty comes with a
price.” I can hear a tiny bit of sympathy in
survive, trust me.”
her voice now, though. Because of that, I
wonder if I’m bleeding down there.
“Not now, Sara,” I say through gritted
teeth. “I’m apologizing to my vagina.”
Waxer-Girl laughs aloud now, and I
glare at her. She averts her gaze instantly
and applies more wax.
NOW you see why I was ......
Ok now that I got that outta the way lol ...
This book is about a 35 yr old woman Alli , her best friend decides that after getting divorced from a 15 yr marriage where her husband cheated on her it is time for Alli to get back into the dating scene . SOOO the Good BFF that Sara is gets her to go out with her to meet with a Male Gigilo ... She has the time of her life and from then it is one funny thing after another ... and add in a little bit of interesting happenings and you will surely enjoy this book .
I don't want to give to much away in the book because Then there is no point in reading it , but I will say this If you Loved Wallbanger , you will surely LOVE this one ...
I can not wait to see what Courtney Cole has in store for us with the next book in this series
February 16, 2013
Hi. My name is Allie. My husband of fifteen years cheated on me with every female in a twenty mile vicinity who was willing and had a heartbeat. I thought about going all Lorena Bobbitt on him and chopping his dick off. But I didn't.
During such a grievous event, I threw sanity to the wind and rode the Crazy Train into Crazy Town
I'm not talking the kind of crazy where I need a straight-jacket. I mean that harmless crazy. As in, I date-a-younger-gigolo-and-uses-a-vibrator-for-the-first-time. But that's a good kind of crazy. And there's one thing about the good kind of crazy.... It makes for a really good Story.
DOES IT EVER.......
Holy Sheep Shit! This was piss my pants funny.
THERE WAS A LOT OF THIS
AND THIS,
ONE OF THESE,
FOLLOWED BY THIS,
DON'T FORGET THIS,
THEN MORE OF THIS,
HEAPS OF THIS,
[image error]
AND EVEN A LITTLE OF THIS,
This is definitely a must read!
My final thoughts...
Add it now!
During such a grievous event, I threw sanity to the wind and rode the Crazy Train into Crazy Town
I'm not talking the kind of crazy where I need a straight-jacket. I mean that harmless crazy. As in, I date-a-younger-gigolo-and-uses-a-vibrator-for-the-first-time. But that's a good kind of crazy. And there's one thing about the good kind of crazy.... It makes for a really good Story.
DOES IT EVER.......
Holy Sheep Shit! This was piss my pants funny.
THERE WAS A LOT OF THIS
AND THIS,
ONE OF THESE,
FOLLOWED BY THIS,
DON'T FORGET THIS,
THEN MORE OF THIS,
HEAPS OF THIS,
[image error]
AND EVEN A LITTLE OF THIS,
This is definitely a must read!
My final thoughts...
Add it now!
November 6, 2012
Wow! Just wow! This was a GREAT book! I loved everything about it. It was funny....it was sweet....it was sexy! It had Shade....it had Colby....it had Alex! I think we could all use a little Shade in our lives. ;) I loved the BFF Sara--she was a riot! Maybe book 2 will be about her?!?! I also loved how the author threw a few chapters in from the guy's POV! That brought a whole new element to the story! I devoured the book in a matter of hours and will definitely be reading the remaining books in the series as well as checking out other books by this author!!! Highly recommend!!!!!
August 8, 2013
LOVED IT, LOOOVVVEEDD IT.. FUN-FRIGGIN-TASTIC!!!!! . This book will have you sweating like a sinner in church...... and not just from bouts of laughter. I enjoyed every character in this book.. ...even Rick the Dick.. If you need a pick me up read or feel like laughing your ass off, allow me to introduce you to Alli Cat . Highly recommend it to all my friends with a sense of humor and to those of you who don't----> How is it that we're friends again??? just kidding :-)
**SPECIAL THANKS TO MY PIC for letting me SNATCH this off her favorites self.
I GIVE IT 2 SNAPS UP AND A SHAKY SHAKY
**SPECIAL THANKS TO MY PIC for letting me SNATCH this off her favorites self.
I GIVE IT 2 SNAPS UP AND A SHAKY SHAKY
November 29, 2014
4-4.5 Laugh Out Loud stars!!
Remember when you used to read Cosmo(or still do), and one of the go-to features of the magazine was when women would write in their most embarrassing moments? This book reminded me of that! It was one train wreck after another of mortifying events. And just like in the magazine, they were absolutely hilarious and cringe-tastic!
At 35, Allison is recently divorced from her 15 year marriage due to her husband cheating. Her bestie, Sara, wants to get her ready to go back out into the world and start dating. She starts to take baby steps to reclaim her independence and discover what else is out there for a woman in her sexual prime. What follows is mishaps with a vibrator, a Brazilian wax gone awry, gigilos, awkward moments with her daughter, Botox, and in the end, love with her perfect match.
So I admit it. I am a total cover whore. If there is some sexy man meat on the cover, I am instantly intrigued. Maybe not one of my best traits, but I accept who I am. I have learned my lesson to stop judging a book by its cover, especially when it came to this book. When a friend suggested we read this, I looked it up and thought the cover and title would not be my scene. After reading the description, I was more on board. I am so glad I gave this a shot because I really enjoyed it.
When reading, I find it takes a lot for me to laugh out loud. Yes, I smirk, I smile, and maybe sometimes I will yell "Ha!", but I rarely find genuine humor, and actually chuckle and giggle for anyone to hear. This happened multiple times for me.
And do not get me started on some of the embarrassing things that happened to poor Alli!
I really think in some of those situations, if they happened to me, I would want to die! Just end it all! Total humiliation!
There were quite a few things I highlighted, and wanted to share, but they are best read within their context, so I decided not to put them in my review. But here's a snippet of what you might read (this is when her ex comes over):
I make a motion like I'm stabbing him in the back of the head with a Butcher knife. But in this case I am using my dildo. We both drop our hands when Sophie turns abruptly around. "You know there's a mirror in front of us, right?" Fuck. She's right. I should definitely know, since I'm the one who hung it at the end of the hall.
I know that's not the best quote, but I can just see it happening, and thought it was so perfect to get caught! LOL
I really liked all of the characters. I could see myself being friends with Alli and Sara. The hero(es) were perfect for Alli, and exactly what she needed.
This book reminded me of Sex and the City cut in half, with two best friends instead of four. So obviously I would recommend, especially if you are in the mood for some dirty humor, crazy hijinx, and some sweet romance. It's a great quick read and I enjoyed it.
So should you read???
Remember when you used to read Cosmo(or still do), and one of the go-to features of the magazine was when women would write in their most embarrassing moments? This book reminded me of that! It was one train wreck after another of mortifying events. And just like in the magazine, they were absolutely hilarious and cringe-tastic!
At 35, Allison is recently divorced from her 15 year marriage due to her husband cheating. Her bestie, Sara, wants to get her ready to go back out into the world and start dating. She starts to take baby steps to reclaim her independence and discover what else is out there for a woman in her sexual prime. What follows is mishaps with a vibrator, a Brazilian wax gone awry, gigilos, awkward moments with her daughter, Botox, and in the end, love with her perfect match.
So I admit it. I am a total cover whore. If there is some sexy man meat on the cover, I am instantly intrigued. Maybe not one of my best traits, but I accept who I am. I have learned my lesson to stop judging a book by its cover, especially when it came to this book. When a friend suggested we read this, I looked it up and thought the cover and title would not be my scene. After reading the description, I was more on board. I am so glad I gave this a shot because I really enjoyed it.
When reading, I find it takes a lot for me to laugh out loud. Yes, I smirk, I smile, and maybe sometimes I will yell "Ha!", but I rarely find genuine humor, and actually chuckle and giggle for anyone to hear. This happened multiple times for me.
And do not get me started on some of the embarrassing things that happened to poor Alli!
I really think in some of those situations, if they happened to me, I would want to die! Just end it all! Total humiliation!
There were quite a few things I highlighted, and wanted to share, but they are best read within their context, so I decided not to put them in my review. But here's a snippet of what you might read (this is when her ex comes over):
I make a motion like I'm stabbing him in the back of the head with a Butcher knife. But in this case I am using my dildo. We both drop our hands when Sophie turns abruptly around. "You know there's a mirror in front of us, right?" Fuck. She's right. I should definitely know, since I'm the one who hung it at the end of the hall.
I know that's not the best quote, but I can just see it happening, and thought it was so perfect to get caught! LOL
I really liked all of the characters. I could see myself being friends with Alli and Sara. The hero(es) were perfect for Alli, and exactly what she needed.
This book reminded me of Sex and the City cut in half, with two best friends instead of four. So obviously I would recommend, especially if you are in the mood for some dirty humor, crazy hijinx, and some sweet romance. It's a great quick read and I enjoyed it.
So should you read???
February 8, 2013
5 STEAMY HILAROUS SEXY AWESOME FREAKING FANTASTIC STARS
Wow!! Just f'king WOW!! This is definitly one of my favorite books I've read to date.. seriously.. seriously just freaking loved this book.. Alli is one awesome chic.. 35 years old, recently divorced but still smoking hot..
She's got a best friend that talks her into seeing a gigalo to
help her get her groove back on..
and he SERIOUSLY helps her get her groove back on...
Along the way to rediscovering her inner sexy bad girl self are tons and tons of hilarous moments
from a first Brazillan wax job that is quite painfull
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To crushing on her new sexy boss..... that she just feels she knows from somewhere aleady..and the sparks are definitly flying all over the place....heheheeh
This book just had it all.. really awesome sex.. steamy realllly good panting wow that was superb sex, a hilarous best freind constantly getting her into trouble, self discovery and letting herself find the happiness she very much deserves.. with a big dose of love thrown in and of course an awesome HEA.. This is really a great read.. I laughed so hard I cried at times, and then there were truely thigh quenching moments that made me sigh.. and I had a big smile on my face througout this whole book.. my face actually hurts from laughing and smiling so much..
IF YOU HAVE NOT READ THIS BOOK THEN YOU NEED TO GET BUSY IMMEDIATLY!! YOU ARE SO SO SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MISSING OUT ON SOME SERIOUS SEXY FUN TIMES
♥♥♥♥♥ LOVED IT ♥♥♥♥♥
Wow!! Just f'king WOW!! This is definitly one of my favorite books I've read to date.. seriously.. seriously just freaking loved this book.. Alli is one awesome chic.. 35 years old, recently divorced but still smoking hot..
She's got a best friend that talks her into seeing a gigalo to
help her get her groove back on..
and he SERIOUSLY helps her get her groove back on...
Along the way to rediscovering her inner sexy bad girl self are tons and tons of hilarous moments
from a first Brazillan wax job that is quite painfull
To crushing on her new sexy boss..... that she just feels she knows from somewhere aleady..and the sparks are definitly flying all over the place....heheheeh
This book just had it all.. really awesome sex.. steamy realllly good panting wow that was superb sex, a hilarous best freind constantly getting her into trouble, self discovery and letting herself find the happiness she very much deserves.. with a big dose of love thrown in and of course an awesome HEA.. This is really a great read.. I laughed so hard I cried at times, and then there were truely thigh quenching moments that made me sigh.. and I had a big smile on my face througout this whole book.. my face actually hurts from laughing and smiling so much..
IF YOU HAVE NOT READ THIS BOOK THEN YOU NEED TO GET BUSY IMMEDIATLY!! YOU ARE SO SO SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MISSING OUT ON SOME SERIOUS SEXY FUN TIMES
♥♥♥♥♥ LOVED IT ♥♥♥♥♥
April 27, 2014
*****5 Laugh Out Loud…For Real Stars*****
This is one of the funniest books I have ever read…
Alli is a recently divorcee and her best friend Sara, decides to help her get back in the saddle…or on the cock to be more direct…
The things these ladies do to themselves are hilarious…
I was laughing out loud throughout the entire book. Everyone in this books is enjoyable, and I enjoyed the little POVs we got from other characters.
This book is short, funny, and sexy. If you are looking for a quickie…meaning short story…damn get your head out of the gutter…jump on this one! MWAH!
This is one of the funniest books I have ever read…
Alli is a recently divorcee and her best friend Sara, decides to help her get back in the saddle…or on the cock to be more direct…
The things these ladies do to themselves are hilarious…
I was laughing out loud throughout the entire book. Everyone in this books is enjoyable, and I enjoyed the little POVs we got from other characters.
This book is short, funny, and sexy. If you are looking for a quickie…meaning short story…damn get your head out of the gutter…jump on this one! MWAH!
October 29, 2012
I wish I could give this book 10 Stars!!!! So funny, hot and sexy with twists and surprises. A must read for every woman!!!!!
October 25, 2012
I absolutely LOVE this book! This is an AWESOME. FUNNY. SEXY. SQUIRMING READ! It's filled with laughter and sizzling sexy moments!!! I assure you, this book delivers all that and more!!!
I loved Alli and Sara! The two best friends were so real and funny as hell...you'd hang around with, if you could!
Ahhhhhh the men Alex, Shade, Colby, *fans self* Need I say more?
This book has EVERYTHING a great adult romance needs!!! A definite must read...I look forward to reading more of them!!!
It's out and live go get your copy!!!
I loved Alli and Sara! The two best friends were so real and funny as hell...you'd hang around with, if you could!
Ahhhhhh the men Alex, Shade, Colby, *fans self* Need I say more?
This book has EVERYTHING a great adult romance needs!!! A definite must read...I look forward to reading more of them!!!
It's out and live go get your copy!!!
April 15, 2019
2.5 cougar stars
Seeing as how I read this book in two sittings, I can’t say that I hated it, just that I didn’t really love it. You know that friend that overshares everything? This book felt like one big cringe-worthy, too-much-information, just can’t look away or stop listening because you just can’t believe it - story.
There were a few laughs here and there but nothing like I thought it would be (serves me right for reading so many reviews beforehand).
Seeing as how I read this book in two sittings, I can’t say that I hated it, just that I didn’t really love it. You know that friend that overshares everything? This book felt like one big cringe-worthy, too-much-information, just can’t look away or stop listening because you just can’t believe it - story.
There were a few laughs here and there but nothing like I thought it would be (serves me right for reading so many reviews beforehand).
October 25, 2012
EXCELLENT! EXCELLENT! Did I mention EXCELLENT!
This book will have you laughing and needing a cold shower from beginning to end!!!
I absolutely love Alli — she is so real and relatable it's amazing. And her best friend Sara is just what Alli needs.
Now the men — Alex, Shade, Colby — WOW!!! Not giving away any more than that.
You will devour this book in one sitting!!!
Sensationally fantastic!!! This is by far my favorite book by Courtney Cole!
This book will have you laughing and needing a cold shower from beginning to end!!!
I absolutely love Alli — she is so real and relatable it's amazing. And her best friend Sara is just what Alli needs.
Now the men — Alex, Shade, Colby — WOW!!! Not giving away any more than that.
You will devour this book in one sitting!!!
Sensationally fantastic!!! This is by far my favorite book by Courtney Cole!
December 2, 2012
This is a must read!!!! It has humor & great sex ... What else can we ask for? I mean the sex scenes are panty melting. The Brazilian wax scene was frkng hilarious!"Pat pat pat.....RIIIIIIIPPPPP" LOL. I laughed so hard I cried. Everyone should have a BFF like Sarah, she's so much fun. And the men Alex, Shade, Colby, *fans self* (specially Shade) *drooling*. Definitely a good read. I can't say enough how much I enjoyed reading this story. Look forward to reading the next book in this series!
September 29, 2013
This book was absolutely freaking hilarious!!! It was witty, fun, fast paced and sexy as all get out!!! I loved it!! HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!! :)
**Thank you Nicole (the Duchess of course) and Jamie for bringing this book to my attention!!
**Thank you Nicole (the Duchess of course) and Jamie for bringing this book to my attention!!
March 7, 2013
4,5 flipping funny hilarious stars!!!
I would never read this book by looking at its cover! Well it is true! Don't judge the book by its cover! This book is good.. Hilarious sexy and steamy kind of book.. It reminds me with Tara Sivec's Seductions and Snacks.
I'm juggling between 4 and 5 stars, in the end I just have to give this book my 5 stars cause I did laugh till I cried reading this. And not many books bring me to that situation. In this case let me explain my situation with this book...
“We are going to the naughty store. Today starts the liberation of Allison. Or at least your hoo-hah. I’m making it my mission in life to help you let your inner cougar out of the cage. That bitch has been in captivity for far too long.”
35 years old Allison Lancaster recently divorced from Rick the Dick, her husband for 15 years who cheated on her with every women in a twenty mile vicinity who's willing and has a heartbeat. Her BFF Sara decides to bring out the sexy and funny Alli by buying her dildo and making her hired an escort from Utopia, an exclusive club who provide male escorts.
“I’m gonna find you the biggest plastic cock on the market and you’re gonna use it if I have to tie you down and do it for you.”
I love Sara... Best girlfriend ever! She is a character, a fire cracker who has Alli's best interests at heart. She's the one person on the planet that she can trust completely and utterly.
“Cheese and crackers, Sara! This is somebody’s kid! I guarantee you his mother doesn’t know he’s a gigolo.”
“Cheese and crackers? Really?" She looks at me skeptically.
"Besides, he’s not a gigolo, you prude! He’s an escort. Big difference.”
“An escort who, at the end of the night for a little more cash, will have sex with people. What do you call that?”
Sara’s laugh has a wicked edge to it.
“I call it my good fortune.”
Then they meet Shade and the craziness begin!!!
Well I read this book after I read If You Stay by Courtney Cole the same author of this book. It's really different kind of book from the previous but I know one thing for sure, I LOVE Courtney Cole! She really has some way to tell.
“So, you’re going to turn me into a sex goddess?” I ask with a grin.
He smiles back as he pulls me to him.
“You already are a sex goddess,” he tells me.
“I’m going to turn you into a very skilled sex goddess who can bring a man to his knees in five minutes flat.”
Things are getting more and more interesting with the new VP in Alli's office. The 40 years old boss is a handsome and sexy as hell man who always finds Alli at her worst. I wouldn't want to name it one by one because it would spoil everything but . This book is hilarious.
At 4 o.clock in the morning I almost woke my baby up because I was giggling uncontrollably over this book.
I would recommend this book for you who want to read a light fun entertaining book with steamy scenes and dirty language.
In the end it's a five stars book for me. Bravo Courtney Cole! You got me in this.
I would never read this book by looking at its cover! Well it is true! Don't judge the book by its cover! This book is good.. Hilarious sexy and steamy kind of book.. It reminds me with Tara Sivec's Seductions and Snacks.
I'm juggling between 4 and 5 stars, in the end I just have to give this book my 5 stars cause I did laugh till I cried reading this. And not many books bring me to that situation. In this case let me explain my situation with this book...
“We are going to the naughty store. Today starts the liberation of Allison. Or at least your hoo-hah. I’m making it my mission in life to help you let your inner cougar out of the cage. That bitch has been in captivity for far too long.”
35 years old Allison Lancaster recently divorced from Rick the Dick, her husband for 15 years who cheated on her with every women in a twenty mile vicinity who's willing and has a heartbeat. Her BFF Sara decides to bring out the sexy and funny Alli by buying her dildo and making her hired an escort from Utopia, an exclusive club who provide male escorts.
“I’m gonna find you the biggest plastic cock on the market and you’re gonna use it if I have to tie you down and do it for you.”
I love Sara... Best girlfriend ever! She is a character, a fire cracker who has Alli's best interests at heart. She's the one person on the planet that she can trust completely and utterly.
“Cheese and crackers, Sara! This is somebody’s kid! I guarantee you his mother doesn’t know he’s a gigolo.”
“Cheese and crackers? Really?" She looks at me skeptically.
"Besides, he’s not a gigolo, you prude! He’s an escort. Big difference.”
“An escort who, at the end of the night for a little more cash, will have sex with people. What do you call that?”
Sara’s laugh has a wicked edge to it.
“I call it my good fortune.”
Then they meet Shade and the craziness begin!!!
Well I read this book after I read If You Stay by Courtney Cole the same author of this book. It's really different kind of book from the previous but I know one thing for sure, I LOVE Courtney Cole! She really has some way to tell.
“So, you’re going to turn me into a sex goddess?” I ask with a grin.
He smiles back as he pulls me to him.
“You already are a sex goddess,” he tells me.
“I’m going to turn you into a very skilled sex goddess who can bring a man to his knees in five minutes flat.”
Things are getting more and more interesting with the new VP in Alli's office. The 40 years old boss is a handsome and sexy as hell man who always finds Alli at her worst. I wouldn't want to name it one by one because it would spoil everything but . This book is hilarious.
At 4 o.clock in the morning I almost woke my baby up because I was giggling uncontrollably over this book.
I would recommend this book for you who want to read a light fun entertaining book with steamy scenes and dirty language.
In the end it's a five stars book for me. Bravo Courtney Cole! You got me in this.
November 16, 2012
Allie says of her vibrator...."it's the perfect penis: Huge, hard, and unattached to the rest of a man who would only bring problems like a beer gut, hellacious gas, and infidelity. I gaze at it fondly as I was it again, and then tuck it in into my bedside stand.
Allie, recently divorced from a cheating husband who never attended her needs - in or out - of the bedroom.
So, what does any new divorcee do when they are not ready for a relationship and want to back on the horse? Well, she's in Vegas with a crazy friend and they plan "dates" at the exclusive Utopia.
Fast forward to the small freakout where she gets busted sniffing her pits for freshness by the young hottie who is to be her love slave for the night. Why is she wearing a girdle (now referred to as shapewear) for a data whose outcome is guaranteed? Read on to find out! For a more mature gal (and by that I mean over 30), she's had little experience with toys or bedroom creativity and the situations she gets into cannot help but make you scream with laughter.
I have so many quotes highlighted in this book that it would take me hours to key them all so that you too would seriously be laughing out loud. OK, maybe one more....
Allie has the hots for her new boss, Alex. Actually so do I!....
Allie's assistant tells her she has lipstick on her teeth AFTER her meeting with her boss is finished...""Son of a bitch!....Why oh why did I have to wear hot pink lipstick today of all days?" I bare my teeth to her like a horse. "is it gone?" She is nodding exactly at the same time as Alex walks back into my office. He stops short and stares at my horse-mouth, then laughs.
Honestly, I'm sick as a dog, lying on the couch catching up on reviews and I'm not really doing it justice. I'm silently laughing again as I reread this section but I have larangytis and I can't make any sound (nor can I remember how to spell it correctly!)
My friend, KP and I, love to text when we are reading the same books concurrently and we laughed so hard we had tears in our eyes. You know how you laugh so hard you can't make sound anymore? That's what I'm talking about. This is a book to share with your girls and if you can do it as a sleep over with drinks, all the better.
This is me laughing hard. albeit, silently. Have fun!
Actually, I think I'll go read it again!!!! Can't wait for more from Courtney Cole.
Allie, recently divorced from a cheating husband who never attended her needs - in or out - of the bedroom.
So, what does any new divorcee do when they are not ready for a relationship and want to back on the horse? Well, she's in Vegas with a crazy friend and they plan "dates" at the exclusive Utopia.
Fast forward to the small freakout where she gets busted sniffing her pits for freshness by the young hottie who is to be her love slave for the night. Why is she wearing a girdle (now referred to as shapewear) for a data whose outcome is guaranteed? Read on to find out! For a more mature gal (and by that I mean over 30), she's had little experience with toys or bedroom creativity and the situations she gets into cannot help but make you scream with laughter.
I have so many quotes highlighted in this book that it would take me hours to key them all so that you too would seriously be laughing out loud. OK, maybe one more....
Allie has the hots for her new boss, Alex. Actually so do I!....
Allie's assistant tells her she has lipstick on her teeth AFTER her meeting with her boss is finished...""Son of a bitch!....Why oh why did I have to wear hot pink lipstick today of all days?" I bare my teeth to her like a horse. "is it gone?" She is nodding exactly at the same time as Alex walks back into my office. He stops short and stares at my horse-mouth, then laughs.
Honestly, I'm sick as a dog, lying on the couch catching up on reviews and I'm not really doing it justice. I'm silently laughing again as I reread this section but I have larangytis and I can't make any sound (nor can I remember how to spell it correctly!)
My friend, KP and I, love to text when we are reading the same books concurrently and we laughed so hard we had tears in our eyes. You know how you laugh so hard you can't make sound anymore? That's what I'm talking about. This is a book to share with your girls and if you can do it as a sleep over with drinks, all the better.
This is me laughing hard. albeit, silently. Have fun!
Actually, I think I'll go read it again!!!! Can't wait for more from Courtney Cole.
January 2, 2013
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Confessions of an Alli Cat is about 35 year-old Alli who is recently divorced trying to make her way back into the dating scene after a 15 year marriage. Alli, of course has her funny best friend who sets her up with a male hooker. Alli agrees and begins a professional relationship with this hot 23 year-old gigolo, as she calls him. Of course this gigolo makes it into her personal life at the same time Alli is coming into her ways as a single women.
I found the book to be funny and entertaining. About the first half of the book had some funny scenes and lines that reminded me a lot of Seduction and Snacks by Tara Sivec (which is an amazing and HILARIOUS book). The second half wasn't as funny but still entertaining to read. I didn't really care for any of the characters that much and found myself reading super fast just to find out how the book ends. The "surprises" in the book I saw coming a mile away and kept thinking "yeah right"... like what are the chances?
It is a very short and easy read. The sex scenes were entertaining but nothing over the top. I give Confessions of an Alli Cat 3 stars.
Confessions of an Alli Cat is about 35 year-old Alli who is recently divorced trying to make her way back into the dating scene after a 15 year marriage. Alli, of course has her funny best friend who sets her up with a male hooker. Alli agrees and begins a professional relationship with this hot 23 year-old gigolo, as she calls him. Of course this gigolo makes it into her personal life at the same time Alli is coming into her ways as a single women.
I found the book to be funny and entertaining. About the first half of the book had some funny scenes and lines that reminded me a lot of Seduction and Snacks by Tara Sivec (which is an amazing and HILARIOUS book). The second half wasn't as funny but still entertaining to read. I didn't really care for any of the characters that much and found myself reading super fast just to find out how the book ends. The "surprises" in the book I saw coming a mile away and kept thinking "yeah right"... like what are the chances?
It is a very short and easy read. The sex scenes were entertaining but nothing over the top. I give Confessions of an Alli Cat 3 stars.
November 7, 2012
Allison is a successful 30 something year old women who happens to be a recently divorced, single mother of a 15 year old girl. After being married for 15 years, she is devastated to find out her husband had been cheating on her, so she does what any other women scorned would do.. She takes him to the cleaners. Her BFF Sara talks her into doing some crazy things and the results are HILARIOUS! Sara is trying hard to prepare Alli for the world of dating and Alli is reluctant. Her friend sets her up with Shade (OMG *DROOLING*over SHADE)and he opens her eyes to things she never imagined, then you throw in her hot new boss, Alex.. WOWZA talk about CHEMISTRY! With a dash of steamy sex, becoming a "cougar”, embarrassing, funny and shocking moments, Courtney Cole has successfully created an explosively funny story about getting divorced, finding yourself and learning to love and trust again.
Courtney Cole did a hilariously fantastic job and created some wonderful characters. I am so looking forward to book #2!
Courtney Cole did a hilariously fantastic job and created some wonderful characters. I am so looking forward to book #2!
November 1, 2012
Okay. Simply put....this book was an AWESOME and refreshing escape from some of the insanely heavy stuff I have read lately. 5 star relief. Hands down! Who doesn't love a hot cougar? I think they (once upon a time) intimidated me but now I worship chicks like THE confident, "I know what I want, now that I know..." ALLI CAT! She is living proof that life goes on when you're dealt a scumbag husband not worth your care-taking, hard working, beautiful face. This story made me laugh out loud frequently...even found myself tripping on the Stairmaster during the second chapter laughing hysterically. It picks up quick and keeps giving on giving in the hot and steamy department. It's a fun read. Go for it. Unleash your secret cougar. :)
November 5, 2012
I devoured this hilarious book in about 6 hours...that includes the time it took to make dinner for my family...I know, I should have made them cook their own! Everything about this book made me laugh. I am still thinking about scenes and laughing at my desk! If you are looking for hot sexy, hilarious, fun...THIS IS THAT BOOK!!
April 26, 2017
Megazabawna książka :) Dawno się tak na żadnej nie uśmiałam. Polecam!
June 26, 2017
An average book. I don't get the hype?!
October 28, 2012
Confessions of An Alli Cat
Goodreads Description:
Thirty-five year-old Allison “Alli” Lancaster has it all—a fabulous job, a beautiful 15 year-old daughter, a hilarious BFF and a gorgeous house with a pool and Jacuzzi in an exclusive Las Vegas neighborhood. What she doesn’t have is a husband, because she kicked her lousy, cheating ex to the curb nine months ago. Since then, Alli has paid her dues with seemingly endless self-improvement and seemingly endless mourning. Now she’s ready to move on and try new things.
Alli’s idea of “trying new things” is nothing like that devil-of-a-best-friend of hers. Somehow, Sara, the devil of a best friend, talks Alli into trying out a sex toy, sleeping with a younger man and letting a stranger in a lab jacket put hot wax on a place that should never, ever, ever see wax. And that’s only the beginning.
Alli never saw her life going quite like this. She also never thought she’d meet someone else who had the very real potential to change her life forever.
But she did.
Enter the new guy. He’s gorgeous, refined and mature. He’s also marriage material. But that poses a problem for Alli, who renounced the institution of marriage when she renounced her ex. What’s a girl to do?
They say that what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. But what the heck happens when you can’t leave Vegas? Well, you spin the wheel, of course. You play the game and let the chips fall where they may.
Alli just hopes she can find them all.
*******
Caution! Only read this book if you want to laugh and are not offended at adult themes and language. This is not a Young Adult book.
Why did I pick this?
Honestly, the author picked me to read this book. I was actually shocked and honored that Courtney Cole emailed me to read it. Seriously.....honored.
What did I think?
Honestly, what can I say about this book? There really aren't many words to describe just how much I enjoyed reading every single word of this book. No joke. This book had me laughing from beginning to end and thoroughly enjoying every character....well.....except for Rick the Dick....because....well....he's a dick. ;-)
Courtney emailed me to see if I would do a promo post and offered an ARC in case I wanted to read it. Well, I honestly didn't think I would have the time but along with her email, she sent an excerpt and the prologue. I read it and was hooked. I immediately emailed her back and asked if the offer to read it still stood and lo and behold, like magic, she sent it to me. I was stoked.
From the very beginning, I fell in love with Alli. She was hilarious and real. She was easy to relate to and connect with. Not to mention hilarious. Her friend was a kick in the pants too.
Alli is a 35 year old divorcee with a 15 year old daughter. After being married to the same man for 15 years and finding out that he has been cheating on her, Alli isn't sure what to do or even where to start. But her friend, Sara, has an idea where to start and just the pushy attitude to make Alli do it.
All throughout Alli's journey, she has these hilarious experiences and it makes you feel like you're part of the whole story.
Let's start with Shade. Sweet, sexy, unbelievably sexy, Shade. Is it okay to say I kind of one one of my very own? Cuz I totally do. ;-) It's always been something about the dark hair and blue eyes. Oh! And the hot body of course. He is adorable really. Has a good personality to boot.
Then we have Alex....another hot, and very successful man. She rightfully has a crush on this man and I don't blame her. He is exquisite.
Sex. Is. Hot in this book. Every part of it. LOL It's steamy and very erotic. Not really for eyes under the age of 18.
In recap, Courtney Cole did an amazing job writing this incredible book. I cannot wait to see what's in store for Alli in the next installment. I'll be waiting anxiously to see what happens.
Favorite Quote:
It's the perfect penis: Huge, hard and unattached to the rest of a man who would only bring problems like a beer gut, hellacious gas and infidelity.
He laughs and, no lie, a shiver runs down my spine. I may want to take a bath in his laugh. Then shove it against the wall and have violent sex with it.
Goodreads Description:
Thirty-five year-old Allison “Alli” Lancaster has it all—a fabulous job, a beautiful 15 year-old daughter, a hilarious BFF and a gorgeous house with a pool and Jacuzzi in an exclusive Las Vegas neighborhood. What she doesn’t have is a husband, because she kicked her lousy, cheating ex to the curb nine months ago. Since then, Alli has paid her dues with seemingly endless self-improvement and seemingly endless mourning. Now she’s ready to move on and try new things.
Alli’s idea of “trying new things” is nothing like that devil-of-a-best-friend of hers. Somehow, Sara, the devil of a best friend, talks Alli into trying out a sex toy, sleeping with a younger man and letting a stranger in a lab jacket put hot wax on a place that should never, ever, ever see wax. And that’s only the beginning.
Alli never saw her life going quite like this. She also never thought she’d meet someone else who had the very real potential to change her life forever.
But she did.
Enter the new guy. He’s gorgeous, refined and mature. He’s also marriage material. But that poses a problem for Alli, who renounced the institution of marriage when she renounced her ex. What’s a girl to do?
They say that what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. But what the heck happens when you can’t leave Vegas? Well, you spin the wheel, of course. You play the game and let the chips fall where they may.
Alli just hopes she can find them all.
*******
Caution! Only read this book if you want to laugh and are not offended at adult themes and language. This is not a Young Adult book.
Why did I pick this?
Honestly, the author picked me to read this book. I was actually shocked and honored that Courtney Cole emailed me to read it. Seriously.....honored.
What did I think?
Honestly, what can I say about this book? There really aren't many words to describe just how much I enjoyed reading every single word of this book. No joke. This book had me laughing from beginning to end and thoroughly enjoying every character....well.....except for Rick the Dick....because....well....he's a dick. ;-)
Courtney emailed me to see if I would do a promo post and offered an ARC in case I wanted to read it. Well, I honestly didn't think I would have the time but along with her email, she sent an excerpt and the prologue. I read it and was hooked. I immediately emailed her back and asked if the offer to read it still stood and lo and behold, like magic, she sent it to me. I was stoked.
From the very beginning, I fell in love with Alli. She was hilarious and real. She was easy to relate to and connect with. Not to mention hilarious. Her friend was a kick in the pants too.
Alli is a 35 year old divorcee with a 15 year old daughter. After being married to the same man for 15 years and finding out that he has been cheating on her, Alli isn't sure what to do or even where to start. But her friend, Sara, has an idea where to start and just the pushy attitude to make Alli do it.
All throughout Alli's journey, she has these hilarious experiences and it makes you feel like you're part of the whole story.
Let's start with Shade. Sweet, sexy, unbelievably sexy, Shade. Is it okay to say I kind of one one of my very own? Cuz I totally do. ;-) It's always been something about the dark hair and blue eyes. Oh! And the hot body of course. He is adorable really. Has a good personality to boot.
Then we have Alex....another hot, and very successful man. She rightfully has a crush on this man and I don't blame her. He is exquisite.
Sex. Is. Hot in this book. Every part of it. LOL It's steamy and very erotic. Not really for eyes under the age of 18.
In recap, Courtney Cole did an amazing job writing this incredible book. I cannot wait to see what's in store for Alli in the next installment. I'll be waiting anxiously to see what happens.
Favorite Quote:
It's the perfect penis: Huge, hard and unattached to the rest of a man who would only bring problems like a beer gut, hellacious gas and infidelity.
He laughs and, no lie, a shiver runs down my spine. I may want to take a bath in his laugh. Then shove it against the wall and have violent sex with it.
October 23, 2012
Let me start by saying how funny this book was. I was cracking up the whole time reading this. Courtney Cole has delivered a slam dunk in the funny and kinky!
Alli and I are a bit different personality wise, but I could relate to her. (Plus, we have a mutual appreciation for wine, so right there makes me think we could be good pals.) She's a bit more timid in the ways of the world until her best friend, Sara, opens her eyes to whole new world of sex toys, gigolos, and taking chances. Alli is likable, funny, and honest. My favorite scene with Alli is when she is introduced to the Brazilian Wax. I was rolling on the floor!!! It's hysterical.
Shade. Oh my Shade. This guy is walking sex. From the minute you meet him, YOU will want to be devoured by him. Yes, he's a bit on the younger side, but DAMN....he's hot. There's a lot more to Shade than you may originally think. He's smart, talented in bed and out of bed, and really an overall good guy. That's about all I will say on him, because there's a whole lot more to his story.
Alex. YES...YES...YES...ALEX! If you can't tell, I liked Alex. He takes on a larger role later on in the story, but I liked him from the start. He's a bit closer to Alli's age and sexy as sin. Alex has also gone through a divorce, so he and Alli can relate to each other in that way. The complication for them is that they work together. Plus, Alli is still a bit gun shy in having another relationship so soon after her divorce. Obviously, she's not shy about boning Shade, but that's a completely different situation. *snickers* Any who, I loved Alex and loved how his character came into the story.
Let's talk about sex. While this book made me laugh till I almost peed my pants, there was some serious steam. Let's think about this. Shade is in his early twenties. In his sexual PRIME. He's talented in the bedroom and knows how to make a gal feel sexy. Now, not to divulge too much, but she does in fact end up having sex with Alex. That was equally hot. Alex is a fit and trim mature guy. He still knows how to get the job done. But my prize sex moment, you know...the one that took me to a panty soaker level 4, was when Alli, Shade, and a certain masseuse named Tyler had one amazing night together. I mean...I was drooling. AND soaked.
Courtney Cole has definitely perfected the adult sexy. I can't wait to see what the next Cougar will bring to the table. It's sure to be fun, sassy, and sexy! Definitely check this one out!
Alli and I are a bit different personality wise, but I could relate to her. (Plus, we have a mutual appreciation for wine, so right there makes me think we could be good pals.) She's a bit more timid in the ways of the world until her best friend, Sara, opens her eyes to whole new world of sex toys, gigolos, and taking chances. Alli is likable, funny, and honest. My favorite scene with Alli is when she is introduced to the Brazilian Wax. I was rolling on the floor!!! It's hysterical.
Shade. Oh my Shade. This guy is walking sex. From the minute you meet him, YOU will want to be devoured by him. Yes, he's a bit on the younger side, but DAMN....he's hot. There's a lot more to Shade than you may originally think. He's smart, talented in bed and out of bed, and really an overall good guy. That's about all I will say on him, because there's a whole lot more to his story.
Alex. YES...YES...YES...ALEX! If you can't tell, I liked Alex. He takes on a larger role later on in the story, but I liked him from the start. He's a bit closer to Alli's age and sexy as sin. Alex has also gone through a divorce, so he and Alli can relate to each other in that way. The complication for them is that they work together. Plus, Alli is still a bit gun shy in having another relationship so soon after her divorce. Obviously, she's not shy about boning Shade, but that's a completely different situation. *snickers* Any who, I loved Alex and loved how his character came into the story.
Let's talk about sex. While this book made me laugh till I almost peed my pants, there was some serious steam. Let's think about this. Shade is in his early twenties. In his sexual PRIME. He's talented in the bedroom and knows how to make a gal feel sexy. Now, not to divulge too much, but she does in fact end up having sex with Alex. That was equally hot. Alex is a fit and trim mature guy. He still knows how to get the job done. But my prize sex moment, you know...the one that took me to a panty soaker level 4, was when Alli, Shade, and a certain masseuse named Tyler had one amazing night together. I mean...I was drooling. AND soaked.
Courtney Cole has definitely perfected the adult sexy. I can't wait to see what the next Cougar will bring to the table. It's sure to be fun, sassy, and sexy! Definitely check this one out!
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