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تخلص من ولكن : كيف تضع حدا لتدمير الذات وتدافع عن نفسك
كتاب جميل و بسيط ، للكاتب روح حلوة تلمس ملامحها في اسلوبه المفعم بالتفاؤل و حب الحياة ، كما ان فهمه العميق للمعاناة يجعل من السهل عليه أن يصل الى قلوب أشد الناس إعراضاً عن الأمل
هذا الكتاب سيوضح لك كيف تتجاوز قيودك وتبدأ في اختبار ومشاركة مواهبك على أعلى مستوى، اقرأ هذا الكتاب بالكامل واتبع الدروس بدقة وشاهد كيف ستتحول حياتك إلى قطعة فنيه مليئة بالوفرة.
هذا الكتاب سيوضح لك كيف تتجاوز قيودك وتبدأ في اختبار ومشاركة مواهبك على أعلى مستوى، اقرأ هذا الكتاب بالكامل واتبع الدروس بدقة وشاهد كيف ستتحول حياتك إلى قطعة فنيه مليئة بالوفرة.
240 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2009
226 people are currently reading
1862 people want to read
About the author
Sean Stephenson
11 books77 followersDr. Sean Stephenson was predicted not to survive at birth because of a rare bone disorder that stunted his growth and caused his bones to be extremely fragile.
Despite his challenges, he took a stand for a quality of life that has inspired millions of people around the world including Sir Richard Branson, President Clinton, and his Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama. Dr. Stephenson has appeared on everything from Oprah to Jimmy Kimmel, in addition to online videos with millions of views. The Biography Channel did an hour feature on his life called “Three Foot Giant.”
Dr. Stephenson’s message has been heard at live events in over 15 countries and 47 states over the past 21 years. His latest book, Get Off Your But, has been released in ten different languages around the world.
As a board-certified therapist, Dr. Stephenson sees clients in a unique 12-hour session to enhance their confidence and speaking ability. He also hosts $10K Speeches, a live event and Mastermind, training professionals to command $10K+ speaking engagements. He and his wife, Mindie Kniss, reside in Scottsdale, Arizona.
Despite his challenges, he took a stand for a quality of life that has inspired millions of people around the world including Sir Richard Branson, President Clinton, and his Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama. Dr. Stephenson has appeared on everything from Oprah to Jimmy Kimmel, in addition to online videos with millions of views. The Biography Channel did an hour feature on his life called “Three Foot Giant.”
Dr. Stephenson’s message has been heard at live events in over 15 countries and 47 states over the past 21 years. His latest book, Get Off Your But, has been released in ten different languages around the world.
As a board-certified therapist, Dr. Stephenson sees clients in a unique 12-hour session to enhance their confidence and speaking ability. He also hosts $10K Speeches, a live event and Mastermind, training professionals to command $10K+ speaking engagements. He and his wife, Mindie Kniss, reside in Scottsdale, Arizona.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 159 reviews
June 11, 2012
The corny title drew me to pick this book up initially. I thought "I bet this is really aweful, perfect for a scathing review." But it wasn't the case.
The author, Sean Stephenson, was born with a brittle bone disease. During his birth every bone in his body broke. The poor baby was shattered, born into excruciating pain. None of the doctors believed he would survive for long, but he did.
Because of his disease he had constant fractures through his childhood, and wherever these fractures happened that 's where he would have to stay. Fragil as he was, moving him would break more bones. So they would have to adapt everyday life around the situation, eating, sleeping, and...well other things, would happen right there in the very same spot. He never grew taller than three feet tall, and is confined to a wheelchair.
Sean went to college and got a degree in political science. Afterward, he landed an internship in the Clinton Whitehouse. Became an inspitational speaker, which led to a degree in psychology, leading Sean into being a therapist. He also has a very active dating life.
The next time you feel like whining about how hard life is, think about this guy...........take a moment, then STFU.
Much of what he said in this book has been said before, oddly though I got some of it this time in a way I hadn't before. Gratitude, for one thing, is something I understood intellectually, but I never truly knew what all these new-age people were getting at. But the author told a story about going out for a walk around the neighborhood, he started out in a good mood but then it took a turn as he looked around and he started focusing on all he didn't have. Didn't have that big house, that family (we all do this stuff) soon he was in a rotten mood. At this point he started thinking all that he did have, good friends, great job, and began to feel much better.
If you are grateful about what you do have, and who is in your life, it's is impossible to wallow in the stuff you don't have.
The author, Sean Stephenson, was born with a brittle bone disease. During his birth every bone in his body broke. The poor baby was shattered, born into excruciating pain. None of the doctors believed he would survive for long, but he did.
Because of his disease he had constant fractures through his childhood, and wherever these fractures happened that 's where he would have to stay. Fragil as he was, moving him would break more bones. So they would have to adapt everyday life around the situation, eating, sleeping, and...well other things, would happen right there in the very same spot. He never grew taller than three feet tall, and is confined to a wheelchair.
Sean went to college and got a degree in political science. Afterward, he landed an internship in the Clinton Whitehouse. Became an inspitational speaker, which led to a degree in psychology, leading Sean into being a therapist. He also has a very active dating life.
The next time you feel like whining about how hard life is, think about this guy...........take a moment, then STFU.
Much of what he said in this book has been said before, oddly though I got some of it this time in a way I hadn't before. Gratitude, for one thing, is something I understood intellectually, but I never truly knew what all these new-age people were getting at. But the author told a story about going out for a walk around the neighborhood, he started out in a good mood but then it took a turn as he looked around and he started focusing on all he didn't have. Didn't have that big house, that family (we all do this stuff) soon he was in a rotten mood. At this point he started thinking all that he did have, good friends, great job, and began to feel much better.
If you are grateful about what you do have, and who is in your life, it's is impossible to wallow in the stuff you don't have.
August 21, 2014
بالرغم إني تركت كتب التنمية البشرية منذ زمن طويل، ولم يكن جذّاب لي عنوانه إطلاقاً .. فالكتاب كان إقتراح من صديقة عزيزة بالتالي خططت لقراءة أول صفحاته و ترك الباقي في اليوم الذي يليه .. ولكن لم يمنحني أي فرصة للتوقف .. قصة شون قصة تحرّك المشاعر بالفعل، و اثّرن فيّ نفسي جداً مراحل معاناته .. كان الكتاب بعيد كل البعد عن الكتب التنمية البشرية التقليدية .. الكتاب يمهد إليك فكرة إنك تستطيع أن تصنع من آلامك حياة تستحق العيش .. في تجربة شون الذي طالما احب الحياة ومافيها .. ما يريد إيصاله شون لك بإختصار هو أن الشئ الأساسي الذي يمنعك من تحقيق أهدافك هو حجم "لكن" لديك ..
November 24, 2014
If only i can rate it 10 stars or above !!
[image error]
>> Sean Stephenson >>the author of this book.
Now what would you expect of a person in such shape! A person who has a malformation since he was born! He would be devastated, and totally ruined, he won’t be able to live with all the struggles facing him! Yet he is the most inspirational person... A truly motivational speaker who can change your life...The way you consider life problems and issues...
Throughout 6 lessons (in each there are additional inspirational stories would astonish you)
you will gain more than you can imagine...
[image error]
>> Sean Stephenson >>the author of this book.
Now what would you expect of a person in such shape! A person who has a malformation since he was born! He would be devastated, and totally ruined, he won’t be able to live with all the struggles facing him! Yet he is the most inspirational person... A truly motivational speaker who can change your life...The way you consider life problems and issues...
Throughout 6 lessons (in each there are additional inspirational stories would astonish you)
you will gain more than you can imagine...
October 13, 2011
There was a lot of good material. However, the big takeaway for me on this book wasn't the material. It was the author and his personal testimony. All of the principles that Stephenson espoused were punctuated by stories from his personal life. They were truly remarkable.
At birth, Stephenson wrestled with a profoundly destructive bout of brittle bone disease. He was born with virtually every bone in his body broken. Only his parents believed that he would survive.
He beat the odds, but not without consequence. The disease led to "deficiencies" in his physical development. He grew to only three feet tall and uses a wheelchair. Stephenson still suffers from periodic episodes of extreme pain because he breaks bones far more frequently than most people. Despite his circumstances, he has still accomplished much more than virtually anyone I know.
The theme of the book, that you get to choose your orientation to bad events, is commonly held in the self-help market. My favorite part had to with his beliefs about how to maintain friendships.
Stephenson advocates deciding on spending time with friends by observing the energy that they bring to your life. I've always tried to be a loyal friend before anything else and have kept people around even when I should have said goodbye. Time to time, when a friend is found wanting, ". . .it has nothing to do with how much I like or love an individual. It simply describes the amount of time I can afford to spend in that person's company." I love the idea of being able to keep an old friend, who is temporarily a drain, by moderating exposure. The idea that such moderation doesn't have to reflect esteem, is revolutionary to me.
If you're into self-help books, it figures Tony Robbins, a self-help uber commando, prominently. The ideas aren't extraordinarily provocative, but the author's story is. All in all, a good book.
At birth, Stephenson wrestled with a profoundly destructive bout of brittle bone disease. He was born with virtually every bone in his body broken. Only his parents believed that he would survive.
He beat the odds, but not without consequence. The disease led to "deficiencies" in his physical development. He grew to only three feet tall and uses a wheelchair. Stephenson still suffers from periodic episodes of extreme pain because he breaks bones far more frequently than most people. Despite his circumstances, he has still accomplished much more than virtually anyone I know.
The theme of the book, that you get to choose your orientation to bad events, is commonly held in the self-help market. My favorite part had to with his beliefs about how to maintain friendships.
Stephenson advocates deciding on spending time with friends by observing the energy that they bring to your life. I've always tried to be a loyal friend before anything else and have kept people around even when I should have said goodbye. Time to time, when a friend is found wanting, ". . .it has nothing to do with how much I like or love an individual. It simply describes the amount of time I can afford to spend in that person's company." I love the idea of being able to keep an old friend, who is temporarily a drain, by moderating exposure. The idea that such moderation doesn't have to reflect esteem, is revolutionary to me.
If you're into self-help books, it figures Tony Robbins, a self-help uber commando, prominently. The ideas aren't extraordinarily provocative, but the author's story is. All in all, a good book.
October 16, 2017
الفضل كله يرجع للمساند الرسمي لوالديك يا شون، لولا دعمهما وتشجيعهما لك وتحفيزهما إياك لما وصلت إلى ما وصلت اليه خاصة دور الأم، التربية الواعية تنتج إنسانا ناجحا سويا قويا واثقا من نفسه قادرا على مواجهة المجتمع وتحديات الحياة... ولهذا قيل: "تربية الطفل تبدأ بعشرين سنة قبل ولادته.. بتربية أمه" تمنيت فقط أن أرى والدي شون، كنت في البداية لأكون سخية في تقييم الكتاب لكن شعرت بالاستفزاز لما لاحظت أن هدف شون وغايته الأولى هي لفت انتباه الجنس الآخر والظفر بالفتيات ... غاية خسيسة احتقرتها وهذا راجع لمرجعية المؤلف وثقافته والبلد الذي ينتمي إليه فالحمد لله على نعمة الإسلام التي تربط الناس بالغايات العظمى السامية الراقية فهم في الدنيا يبنون لحياتهم في الآخرة بخلاف شون كل همه دنيوي قاصر محصور في المتع الدنيوية إثبات الذات والحصول على الشهرة وجذب الجنس اللطيف... لهذا نجمة للفصول الأولى من الكتاب التي كانت بريئة وجميلة ونجمة لمجهود الكاتب
الخلاصة: مخاوف "لكن" هي مضيعة للوقت تسع مرات من أصل عشرة ؛ ما تخشاه على الأغلب ليس حقيقيا
جرب أن تواجه مخاوفك وتخلص من عقدة "لكن" في كل مرة تهاجم تفكيرك، لأنها مجرد عائق سيضيع عليك فرصا كثيرة
الحياة إما أن تكون مغامرة جريئة أو لا شيء ..
الخلاصة: مخاوف "لكن" هي مضيعة للوقت تسع مرات من أصل عشرة ؛ ما تخشاه على الأغلب ليس حقيقيا
جرب أن تواجه مخاوفك وتخلص من عقدة "لكن" في كل مرة تهاجم تفكيرك، لأنها مجرد عائق سيضيع عليك فرصا كثيرة
الحياة إما أن تكون مغامرة جريئة أو لا شيء ..
August 19, 2012
Stephenson's book is a series of strategies for eliminating excuses and taking control of your life. His own life story is one of the most moving points in the book, with the early chapters being almost painful to read.
That Stephenson has done what he has with his life is nothing short of amazing. It gives him all of the authority needed to author such a book.
One problem I had with his advice was that he continually harped on looks, bodies, and wanting to show off his ability to attract the opposite sex. I get that he also has a web site devoted to men overcoming inhibitions to dating, but the constant references just became annoying. For all his talk about getting in touch with and mastering your inner self, his talk about such superficialities ended up coming across as disingenuous to me.
That Stephenson has done what he has with his life is nothing short of amazing. It gives him all of the authority needed to author such a book.
One problem I had with his advice was that he continually harped on looks, bodies, and wanting to show off his ability to attract the opposite sex. I get that he also has a web site devoted to men overcoming inhibitions to dating, but the constant references just became annoying. For all his talk about getting in touch with and mastering your inner self, his talk about such superficialities ended up coming across as disingenuous to me.
February 8, 2022
يميل أغلبنا للتقليل من نفسه ويستخدم كلمة "لكن" عذرًا لذلك، إذ يرتكز معظم حديث النفس السلبي على ثلاث أنماط تسمى بالخطر الثلاثي، أولهما، "لكن المخاوف" فعندما تجد نفسك في موقف جديد وتكون غير واثق من النتيجة تشعر بالخوف، وتبدأ بسؤال نفسك: لكن ماذا لو أخفقت؟ وثاني الأنماط هو: "لكن الأعذار"، ويمكن أن تتسلل العديد من الأعذار إلى حديثك مع نفسك، فتجد نفسك تقول: لكن أنا لا أملك الوقت، وثالث الأنماط هي: "لكن انعدام الثقة"، وتظهر عندما تقول لنفسك، لكن أن لست جيدًا بما فيه الكفاية، وشرح الكاتب كيف نتخلص من قول كلمة "لكن" عند القيام بأي شيء نرغب بالفعل، كما وضع طرقًا للحد من التدمير الذاتي، وكيفية الدفاع عن النفس.
ما ميز الكتاب هو كاتبه وحالته الصحية فقد وُلد بخلل جيني نادر يسبب هشاشة العظام ما يجعلها عرضة للكسر ويمكن لأقل لمسة أن تكسرها ومع ذلك وبطوله الذي لا يتجاوز ثلاثة أقدام أصبح معالجًا نفسيًا، ألهم وساعد الكثيرون من حوله، ولم يستسلم لظروفه وإعاقته.
كتاب لطيف سيعجب الكثيرون رغم أنه ذكر العديد من المعلومات التي قرأتها من قبل إلا أن أسلوبه كان سلسلًا لطيفًا يدخل القلب.
ما ميز الكتاب هو كاتبه وحالته الصحية فقد وُلد بخلل جيني نادر يسبب هشاشة العظام ما يجعلها عرضة للكسر ويمكن لأقل لمسة أن تكسرها ومع ذلك وبطوله الذي لا يتجاوز ثلاثة أقدام أصبح معالجًا نفسيًا، ألهم وساعد الكثيرون من حوله، ولم يستسلم لظروفه وإعاقته.
كتاب لطيف سيعجب الكثيرون رغم أنه ذكر العديد من المعلومات التي قرأتها من قبل إلا أن أسلوبه كان سلسلًا لطيفًا يدخل القلب.
July 6, 2020
Sean, you seem to be such a lovely human being! ----- a book worth reading
-it has a very meaningful and poweful story. a real one. the story of a man who succeded despite his condition and basically grew into a lovely, smart, kind man. not the story of some snobbish, arrogant businessman who'll tell (actually sell) you nothing but lies and wall street bullshit.
-it contains a lot of (truly) USEFUL advice based on FACTS. this man knows something about psychology and social psychology. it's not a revelation (at least not to me, because I already knew about a lot of the points in the book, that are already part of my life, let's say. which, to me, valides the quality of this book).
-it's not a complicated book. not full of studies about why this particular point is true and you should apply it to your life, so it's an easy read if you're not looking for a social psychology book, duh.
-funny. full of charisma
-the enthusiasm is exaggerated at some point
per total it's a useful book. I thought is one of those boring, full of bullshit personal development books, but it's not. 3,5 stars because it wasn't a total revelation (so I'm subjective, as the amount of "help" this book could serve you depends, of course, on you). I usually hate this kind of books but this time I actually took notes on some interesting facts and tips so maybe you wanna check it out. also, the A-B-C friends rule - a really good point.
-it has a very meaningful and poweful story. a real one. the story of a man who succeded despite his condition and basically grew into a lovely, smart, kind man. not the story of some snobbish, arrogant businessman who'll tell (actually sell) you nothing but lies and wall street bullshit.
-it contains a lot of (truly) USEFUL advice based on FACTS. this man knows something about psychology and social psychology. it's not a revelation (at least not to me, because I already knew about a lot of the points in the book, that are already part of my life, let's say. which, to me, valides the quality of this book).
-it's not a complicated book. not full of studies about why this particular point is true and you should apply it to your life, so it's an easy read if you're not looking for a social psychology book, duh.
-funny. full of charisma
-the enthusiasm is exaggerated at some point
per total it's a useful book. I thought is one of those boring, full of bullshit personal development books, but it's not. 3,5 stars because it wasn't a total revelation (so I'm subjective, as the amount of "help" this book could serve you depends, of course, on you). I usually hate this kind of books but this time I actually took notes on some interesting facts and tips so maybe you wanna check it out. also, the A-B-C friends rule - a really good point.
November 6, 2019
شخصية تستحق الاحترام
بداية الكتاب مؤثرة وملهمة بقصته الشخصية
استفدت كثيرًا (من فصل التواصل) بالذات
كيف نفرّق بين الاتصال المعلوماتي والتواصل المليء بالمشاعر والاهتمام والصدق، وكيف نتواصل مع الآخر وقبل ذلك كيف نتواصل مع أنفسنا ونستمع لما في داخلنا وكيف يكون صوتنا الداخلي لطيف ونبيل معنا. مثل هذه الأمور قد تغير حياة الانسان بالكامل.
* كان الألم هو معلمي ، وكنت أنا تلميذه الصغير
* هناك دائمًا مهلة بين سماع الطقطقة والشعر بالألم
* الألم سيمسّنا كلنا ، أما المعاناة فهي شيء اختياري
* الشيء الوحيد الذي يمنعك عن تحقيق ما تريده في الحياة هو حجم "ولكن " لديك
* بطبيعتنا البشرية نحن مجبولون على معرفة من يهتمون لأمرنا
** لو كرهت شخصًا ما سيمتلكني
* القواسم المشتركة أساسية للتواصل
* الوقت هو السلعة الوحيدة التي حصلنا جميعًا على قدر متساوٍ منها
* إلعب لعبة : ما أحبه فيك .. كذا وكذا
* الكلمات هي حزمة من المشاعر ..
* الناس يعيشون داخل لغتهم
* تدرب على التحدث إلى نفسك كما تتحدث مع صديق مقرّب
* كل من تشعر بانجذاب ناحيتهم سيلمسون ذلك
* نحن لا يمكننا تغيير ما لا نعترف به
* نحن نرى ما نصدقه
بداية الكتاب مؤثرة وملهمة بقصته الشخصية
استفدت كثيرًا (من فصل التواصل) بالذات
كيف نفرّق بين الاتصال المعلوماتي والتواصل المليء بالمشاعر والاهتمام والصدق، وكيف نتواصل مع الآخر وقبل ذلك كيف نتواصل مع أنفسنا ونستمع لما في داخلنا وكيف يكون صوتنا الداخلي لطيف ونبيل معنا. مثل هذه الأمور قد تغير حياة الانسان بالكامل.
* كان الألم هو معلمي ، وكنت أنا تلميذه الصغير
* هناك دائمًا مهلة بين سماع الطقطقة والشعر بالألم
* الألم سيمسّنا كلنا ، أما المعاناة فهي شيء اختياري
* الشيء الوحيد الذي يمنعك عن تحقيق ما تريده في الحياة هو حجم "ولكن " لديك
* بطبيعتنا البشرية نحن مجبولون على معرفة من يهتمون لأمرنا
** لو كرهت شخصًا ما سيمتلكني
* القواسم المشتركة أساسية للتواصل
* الوقت هو السلعة الوحيدة التي حصلنا جميعًا على قدر متساوٍ منها
* إلعب لعبة : ما أحبه فيك .. كذا وكذا
* الكلمات هي حزمة من المشاعر ..
* الناس يعيشون داخل لغتهم
* تدرب على التحدث إلى نفسك كما تتحدث مع صديق مقرّب
* كل من تشعر بانجذاب ناحيتهم سيلمسون ذلك
* نحن لا يمكننا تغيير ما لا نعترف به
* نحن نرى ما نصدقه
February 26, 2024
الأفعال الحسنة مع الآخرين لا تنسى حتى وإن أنكروها
February 8, 2013
كتاب جميل و بسيط ، للكاتب روح حلوة تلمس ملامحها في اسلوبه المفعم بالتفاؤل و حب الحياة ، كما ان فهمه العميق للمعاناة يجعل من السهل عليه أن يصل الى قلوب أشد الناس إعراضاً عن الأمل...
May 25, 2013
هذا الكتاب مؤثر
August 27, 2014
قصة حياة شون دليل أنه لا حدود لمقدراتنا طالما حررنا أنفسنا من "لكن" واستبدلناها ب"ومع ذلك"
November 16, 2014
استمتعت حقاً بقراءة الكتاب
أن تتخلص من كلمة لكن وتبدأ بالعمل وتترك وراءك أعذارك السابقة هو ما استلهمه من هذا الكتاب
الكاتب يمتلك طريقة لتحفزيك وجعللك مستمتعا في آن واحد
انصح الجميع به
أن تتخلص من كلمة لكن وتبدأ بالعمل وتترك وراءك أعذارك السابقة هو ما استلهمه من هذا الكتاب
الكاتب يمتلك طريقة لتحفزيك وجعللك مستمتعا في آن واحد
انصح الجميع به
March 14, 2016
انت حلو يا ابني
لكن يا عمي
ملكنش
بس يا عمي
مبسش
كتاب اخر يخبرك ان اللالا لاند ليست بعيدة
الكتب دي تفنع هناك يا عمنا
انا لو اتعاملت بنفس الكلام هتاخد تحري
لكن يا عمي
ملكنش
بس يا عمي
مبسش
كتاب اخر يخبرك ان اللالا لاند ليست بعيدة
الكتب دي تفنع هناك يا عمنا
انا لو اتعاملت بنفس الكلام هتاخد تحري
December 19, 2023
Reading books from other people's reading lists is an interesting personal journey on how much more of a cynical crank and judgmental jerk I am than I even realized, but I have 15 minutes or less to dive into it anyway. I will try not to speak ill of the dead or something.
First, the concept Stephenson lays out of effect > cause is simplistic, but within the narrow definition of personal change, I don't have an issue with it. I do see plenty of people who can't let go of causes of their pain and spend lifetimes tending them like dysfunctional Japanese gardens. Personal responsibility is a verboten topic, and Stephenson dives right the hell in. His disability helped act as a bit of a criticism shield for this take no doubt.
I'll call that the good.
Sidebar: I've seen countless variations of a story Sean tells early in the book about 8th grade heartbreak. A girl dumps him because he's not tall, dark, and handsome and he blames her friends. While he may be three feet tall and in a wheelchair, he's awesome inside and she lets her friends and outward appearance dictate who she wants to be with. This is wrong and hurtful to people who have much to offer outside of customary dictums of attractiveness. He confesses that he develops a underlying dislike of woman from these psychic cuts that lasts into his 20s.
A few pages later, Sean complains that he was having trouble attracting his "type", and has a very specific list of the woman he wants in his life. She must be beautiful, fit, smart, and have an amazing personality. These woman don't seem to want a lifetime relationship with a three foot man in a wheelchair, because "they can do better" they are told. When Sean can't achieve all those elements in his person, he reports that he spends years studying the psychology of woman to understand how to attract his type.
Good thing pretty heterosexual woman who are smart and fit have a base psychological makeup that can be deconstructed and manipulated, or that might have been a waste of time.
Lesson one: We are really good at being duplicitous hypocrites.
The book is focused mainly on "health, wealth, and relationships" and how to take responsibility for our own outcomes by being proactive, positive, and focused.
Boilerplate.
Most of Stephenson's examples are also members of the $1.9 billion motivational industrial complex, and it seems like most of what he knows is Bill Clinton, some in-your-face therapy methodology, and motivational speak-ing/ers.
Not a terrible premise (we are really good at self-sabotage), but it's also the usual simplification of obstacles and lack of personalization of approach which seems to pepper the genre. Perhaps this book can nudge those people in your life who externalize every bad result in their own lives as someone else's fault, but I'm not going to prescribe it for the leadership training I'm launching regardless of it being on the CEOs list - seems too much based on individual and not institutional needs.
Next on the list is the 7 habits, which somehow I've never read.
...can't wait!
WTR - 649
First, the concept Stephenson lays out of effect > cause is simplistic, but within the narrow definition of personal change, I don't have an issue with it. I do see plenty of people who can't let go of causes of their pain and spend lifetimes tending them like dysfunctional Japanese gardens. Personal responsibility is a verboten topic, and Stephenson dives right the hell in. His disability helped act as a bit of a criticism shield for this take no doubt.
I'll call that the good.
Sidebar: I've seen countless variations of a story Sean tells early in the book about 8th grade heartbreak. A girl dumps him because he's not tall, dark, and handsome and he blames her friends. While he may be three feet tall and in a wheelchair, he's awesome inside and she lets her friends and outward appearance dictate who she wants to be with. This is wrong and hurtful to people who have much to offer outside of customary dictums of attractiveness. He confesses that he develops a underlying dislike of woman from these psychic cuts that lasts into his 20s.
A few pages later, Sean complains that he was having trouble attracting his "type", and has a very specific list of the woman he wants in his life. She must be beautiful, fit, smart, and have an amazing personality. These woman don't seem to want a lifetime relationship with a three foot man in a wheelchair, because "they can do better" they are told. When Sean can't achieve all those elements in his person, he reports that he spends years studying the psychology of woman to understand how to attract his type.
Good thing pretty heterosexual woman who are smart and fit have a base psychological makeup that can be deconstructed and manipulated, or that might have been a waste of time.
Lesson one: We are really good at being duplicitous hypocrites.
The book is focused mainly on "health, wealth, and relationships" and how to take responsibility for our own outcomes by being proactive, positive, and focused.
Boilerplate.
Most of Stephenson's examples are also members of the $1.9 billion motivational industrial complex, and it seems like most of what he knows is Bill Clinton, some in-your-face therapy methodology, and motivational speak-ing/ers.
Not a terrible premise (we are really good at self-sabotage), but it's also the usual simplification of obstacles and lack of personalization of approach which seems to pepper the genre. Perhaps this book can nudge those people in your life who externalize every bad result in their own lives as someone else's fault, but I'm not going to prescribe it for the leadership training I'm launching regardless of it being on the CEOs list - seems too much based on individual and not institutional needs.
Next on the list is the 7 habits, which somehow I've never read.
...can't wait!
WTR - 649
February 7, 2021
This book does an excellent job of giving you exercises to get you off of your "but...". I like the fact that he uses powerful stories (many autobiographical) to lead into them. This helps with both the relevance and focus of the exercises. While this book is no miracle breakthrough, it is full of solid information that can help individuals achieve breakthroughs that can be miraculous on an individual level. If you know someone who is struggling with self esteem, in a bad relationship, or hanging out with a bad group of friends, get them to read this book and DO the exercises.
I listened to the audio version of this book. Sean's voice is not that of a typical narrator, and can be off-putting at first. Give him a chance. His public speaking experience and the autobiographical nature of a lot of the stories make him an excellent narrator.
I listened to the audio version of this book. Sean's voice is not that of a typical narrator, and can be off-putting at first. Give him a chance. His public speaking experience and the autobiographical nature of a lot of the stories make him an excellent narrator.
September 1, 2009
I hated the fact that at the end of each chapter he ask you to complete a task in a journal BUT!.... I did it and Wow! It is hard to actualy see on paper how many BUT's I need to overcome. Sherri
October 26, 2022
I know, the author of this book doesn’t tell anything new, but the way he conveys his message is amazingly good!! I understood things I thought I already knew on a whole different level. Going to read it again and again, really inspirational
August 23, 2022
من أفضل كتب تطوير الذات وتأثرت لما عرفت بموت الكاتب 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟.
January 9, 2018
كتاب رائع يستحق أن يُقرأ أكثر من مرة
November 7, 2015
I started this book with my eyes rolling. Yes, I'm that cynufa it seems. I guess I have a strong BS meter and I instinctively have always thought that self-help books were just piramid schemes or just positive affirmations. After ally undergrad was in psych so that was a real science so what could these hacks know that the great theorists didn't.
Well. It turns out everything. Nearly all psych pathologizes behavior. It then diagnoses you with a chronic, biochemical disorder that you'll have for life-threatening in some varying degrees. This then accomplishes the following: 1. It opens you up to taking the psychotropic drug de jure. Again for life or for a very long time. Mind you that the precise mechanism for these drugs is "unknown." It's bases on our "deep" and "comprehensive" understandjng of neurobiology. Cough. 2. It makes anything in your life not your fault. It's your disease you see. 3. It looks for the Genesis of this "disease" by mucking around, in perpetuity on a Tolkienesque quest to find the one true answer. The epiohany. The psychological equivalent to "my precious." Most people then go through this cycle over and over ad nauseum.
Except that it's all BS. Like an alcoholic, it ultimately is a decision to get better. It's accepting responsibility for our own actions. We may have had a horrible childhood and that's tragic but how one deals with the present is entirely in one's own control. You are not some inanimate object floating in space. You can effect change. This little man, Sean Stephenson, has so much in his life to complain about. But he chooses not to. That's right he makes a concerted effort to not indulge in self pity. Are you getting this? It IS, ultimately, a choice. This means being physically positive and thinking positive.
Of course not all pscyhogists were prone to pathology based reasoning. James Lange proposed this as did Martin Seligman. Today, due to the eastern influence, we are starting to see more receptivity to the idea of "positive psychology." But go to most therapists and they'll give you the sake derision I said I did. They'll laugh it off as beneath then whole they continue to counsel you for the fifth year in a row. Now who is the tool?
Mr. Stephenson makes use of neuro linguistic programming. This has been the hot topic among motivational speakers such as Tony Robbins as well as counselors like Dr Wayne Dyer. It has yet to be widely adopted by the psychological establishment. The remaining cynic in me thinks it is due to the fact that this perspective doesn't really make the case for neuroleptics, ssri and their progeny. Nor does it lend itself well to years of profitable therapy.
This is really an easy but, at times deceptively deep book. The message hits home every time you think about the author. My problems seem insignificant in relation. It's that context that is what slaps you in the face. Ultimately most problems are phantoms. They're illusory and akin to predicting the future- for that is what a fear is.
Well. It turns out everything. Nearly all psych pathologizes behavior. It then diagnoses you with a chronic, biochemical disorder that you'll have for life-threatening in some varying degrees. This then accomplishes the following: 1. It opens you up to taking the psychotropic drug de jure. Again for life or for a very long time. Mind you that the precise mechanism for these drugs is "unknown." It's bases on our "deep" and "comprehensive" understandjng of neurobiology. Cough. 2. It makes anything in your life not your fault. It's your disease you see. 3. It looks for the Genesis of this "disease" by mucking around, in perpetuity on a Tolkienesque quest to find the one true answer. The epiohany. The psychological equivalent to "my precious." Most people then go through this cycle over and over ad nauseum.
Except that it's all BS. Like an alcoholic, it ultimately is a decision to get better. It's accepting responsibility for our own actions. We may have had a horrible childhood and that's tragic but how one deals with the present is entirely in one's own control. You are not some inanimate object floating in space. You can effect change. This little man, Sean Stephenson, has so much in his life to complain about. But he chooses not to. That's right he makes a concerted effort to not indulge in self pity. Are you getting this? It IS, ultimately, a choice. This means being physically positive and thinking positive.
Of course not all pscyhogists were prone to pathology based reasoning. James Lange proposed this as did Martin Seligman. Today, due to the eastern influence, we are starting to see more receptivity to the idea of "positive psychology." But go to most therapists and they'll give you the sake derision I said I did. They'll laugh it off as beneath then whole they continue to counsel you for the fifth year in a row. Now who is the tool?
Mr. Stephenson makes use of neuro linguistic programming. This has been the hot topic among motivational speakers such as Tony Robbins as well as counselors like Dr Wayne Dyer. It has yet to be widely adopted by the psychological establishment. The remaining cynic in me thinks it is due to the fact that this perspective doesn't really make the case for neuroleptics, ssri and their progeny. Nor does it lend itself well to years of profitable therapy.
This is really an easy but, at times deceptively deep book. The message hits home every time you think about the author. My problems seem insignificant in relation. It's that context that is what slaps you in the face. Ultimately most problems are phantoms. They're illusory and akin to predicting the future- for that is what a fear is.
January 17, 2016
…. اعتقد من منا لم يجذبه هذا العنوان …. انا لا اعرف ماهو المصطلح بالتحيد الذى عندما تقرأ كتاب مشوق ومميز وتنهى الكتاب على وجه السرعه….. و كأن نظر القارئ في سباق مع الوقت والزمن لانهاء هذا الكتاب الاكثر من رائع …. انا اعترف ان القراءة السريعه للكتب قد تأثر على تذكر بعض المحتوى او التفاصيل اكاد اكون قد تجاوازتها … لكن لم استطع القراءة بهدوء وتروى لهذا الكتاب بالتحديد …….
" شون" يشير على مخاوفنا والآمنا ويظهرها الى السطح يخلصك من كل اعذارك ومبرراتك ,,, يخلصك من اكثر المواقف التى تخشى ان تحدث في المستقبل…. والتى سبقت مرت بك في الماضي ولم تتجاوزها ,,,,
وبالفعل بعض الكتب تقرأها ….و اخرى تقرأك …واخرى تقرأ ذاتك و و مواطن ضعفك ! قوتك ! تححدث معك ,,,, تحذرك من نفسك ومن اعذارك وانها ليست السبب الوحيد وراء تقاعسنا …..هو غطاء لشئ دائما لا نريد مواجهته وان هذه المشاعر الحقيقيه ليست سهله للتعرف عليها وغالبا نخجل منها ونختبئ خلف كلمه " لكن "
بيتر,, ورنيه ,اندريا , ومايك ,وبوبي, وعلى رأسهم " شون "…. ابطال الكتاب رأو في العسر يسر وان العسر والتجارب القاسيه التى مرو بها هى التى جعلتهم الآن ما هم عليه … ان تجاربهم امددتهم بالآلهام والى تحويل التجربه السيئه الا واقع حقيقي ناجح خرج من مخاض الآلم ….
وان الاساليب التى استخدمها شون في التغلب على" لكن" والاعذار السلبيه ,,,,بأمكاننا نحن ايضا استخدام هذه الأساليب ومطابقه الكلمات على ارض الواقع لنكون بالفعل قد تعلمنا الاساليب ومارسناها لننتقل من المرحله النظريه الى التطبيق <3
لن تكون المره الاخيره لي في قراءة الكتاب سيكون مرجع دائم الا ان احسن الاساليب المذكوره فيه بأذن الله …..
February 7, 2016
تخلص من لكن:
رجل جديد ينظم لقائمة " القدوة "
كنت أظن في البداية أن تخلص من لكن ليس إلا عنوانا جديدا يضاف إلى أطنان الكتب التي كتبت في التنمية البشرية أو تنمية الذات أو سمها ما شئت ... و التي قررت إعتزالها منذ أمدا ليس بالقريب
الشئ الذي غير نظرتي إلى الكتاب هو مقدمته التي يروي فيها شون ستيفنسون قصة بدية حياته الأكثر من صعبة .. و الشئ الذي أيد المقدمة و دفعني دفعا إلى اكمال قراءة الكتاب رغم وجود بعض الفصول المملة فيه هو فيديو شاهدته لهذا الإنسان الذي لا يسعني إلى أن أقول أنه كان يمكن أن يدخل كتاب غينس للأرقام القياسية في صنف مستعملي لكن !!
و رغم كل ذلك أراد إلا ان يتحدى اعاقته ( ان استطاعت كلمة اعاقة التعبير عن ما يمتلكه شون ) و يحضى بحياة اقل ما يقال عنها أنها رائعة
الترجمة كانت موفقة و الشئ الوحيد الذي يعاب الكتاب حسب رأيي المتواضع هو الترتيب السيئ للفصول
أكثر قصة لشون الموجودة في الكتاب و أثرت في كثيرا هو علوق شون في مصعد يعمل بشكل عادي و كيف استطاع شون أن يتعامل مع الموقف ... أو كما قال هو :" أنا أول انسان في التاريخ و الذي يعلق في مصعد يعمل بطريقة عادية ! "
شكرا شون !
رابط الفيديو :
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1du-G...
رجل جديد ينظم لقائمة " القدوة "
كنت أظن في البداية أن تخلص من لكن ليس إلا عنوانا جديدا يضاف إلى أطنان الكتب التي كتبت في التنمية البشرية أو تنمية الذات أو سمها ما شئت ... و التي قررت إعتزالها منذ أمدا ليس بالقريب
الشئ الذي غير نظرتي إلى الكتاب هو مقدمته التي يروي فيها شون ستيفنسون قصة بدية حياته الأكثر من صعبة .. و الشئ الذي أيد المقدمة و دفعني دفعا إلى اكمال قراءة الكتاب رغم وجود بعض الفصول المملة فيه هو فيديو شاهدته لهذا الإنسان الذي لا يسعني إلى أن أقول أنه كان يمكن أن يدخل كتاب غينس للأرقام القياسية في صنف مستعملي لكن !!
و رغم كل ذلك أراد إلا ان يتحدى اعاقته ( ان استطاعت كلمة اعاقة التعبير عن ما يمتلكه شون ) و يحضى بحياة اقل ما يقال عنها أنها رائعة
الترجمة كانت موفقة و الشئ الوحيد الذي يعاب الكتاب حسب رأيي المتواضع هو الترتيب السيئ للفصول
أكثر قصة لشون الموجودة في الكتاب و أثرت في كثيرا هو علوق شون في مصعد يعمل بشكل عادي و كيف استطاع شون أن يتعامل مع الموقف ... أو كما قال هو :" أنا أول انسان في التاريخ و الذي يعلق في مصعد يعمل بطريقة عادية ! "
شكرا شون !
رابط الفيديو :
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1du-G...
January 12, 2017
اسم الكتاب: تخلص من ولكن
المؤلف: Sean Stephenson
عدد الصفحات: 257
كتاب اكثر من رائع ان كنت شخصا تود تغيير حياتك وتنظر لها بإيجابية، مع شون فعلا تستطيع ان تطور ذاتك، ولكن فقط ان حولت ما تقرأه او قرأته الى أفعال.
في هذا الكتاب،اذا كنت من الاشخاص المقبلين على التغيير، شون يستطيع أن يحول جانبك وقناعتك في الحياة من أن تكون نتيجة الى ان تكون سبب، فهناك فرق كبير، وعليك ان تضع نصب عينيك هذه المعادلة لتنجح بحياتك، الا وهي س>ن (السبب أكبر من النتيجة)، "فعندما تعيش في جانب السبب من هذه الصيغة، تكون انت المحرك الواعي لحياتك، عندما تعيش في جانب النتيجة من الصيغة، تبدو الاشياء وكأنها تحدث لك وانت غير مسؤول عن حياتك.
كتاب شيق ومع اني قرأته على فترات متفاوته، الا انني أحببته كثيراً، اذ كان شون يثري الدروس المذكورة في الكتاب بقصص واقعية تُدعم صحتها وذلك بأنها حدثت لاشخاص اختبروا الالم ولجأوا له ليسديهم النصح، أو عن طريق تجاربه التي مر بها خلال حياته وعلمته كيف يجتاز السئ منها ويحصل على الافضل والجيد من هذه التجارب.
أن كنت على طريق اكتشاف كيف تحقق أحلامك و تغير حياتك وتنظر لها بنظرة اجمل، انصحك بقراءة هذا الكتاب الرائع من الرائد بتطوير الذات الدكتور/شون ستيفنسون.
المؤلف: Sean Stephenson
عدد الصفحات: 257
كتاب اكثر من رائع ان كنت شخصا تود تغيير حياتك وتنظر لها بإيجابية، مع شون فعلا تستطيع ان تطور ذاتك، ولكن فقط ان حولت ما تقرأه او قرأته الى أفعال.
في هذا الكتاب،اذا كنت من الاشخاص المقبلين على التغيير، شون يستطيع أن يحول جانبك وقناعتك في الحياة من أن تكون نتيجة الى ان تكون سبب، فهناك فرق كبير، وعليك ان تضع نصب عينيك هذه المعادلة لتنجح بحياتك، الا وهي س>ن (السبب أكبر من النتيجة)، "فعندما تعيش في جانب السبب من هذه الصيغة، تكون انت المحرك الواعي لحياتك، عندما تعيش في جانب النتيجة من الصيغة، تبدو الاشياء وكأنها تحدث لك وانت غير مسؤول عن حياتك.
كتاب شيق ومع اني قرأته على فترات متفاوته، الا انني أحببته كثيراً، اذ كان شون يثري الدروس المذكورة في الكتاب بقصص واقعية تُدعم صحتها وذلك بأنها حدثت لاشخاص اختبروا الالم ولجأوا له ليسديهم النصح، أو عن طريق تجاربه التي مر بها خلال حياته وعلمته كيف يجتاز السئ منها ويحصل على الافضل والجيد من هذه التجارب.
أن كنت على طريق اكتشاف كيف تحقق أحلامك و تغير حياتك وتنظر لها بنظرة اجمل، انصحك بقراءة هذا الكتاب الرائع من الرائد بتطوير الذات الدكتور/شون ستيفنسون.
November 23, 2013
هذا الكتاب يعلمك باختصار كيف تجلب الأحزان والهموم وتعيش حياة مليئة بالآلام ، ولحسن الحظ يعلمك ضد هذا
شون سيتفنسون تحدث في بداية الكتاب عن بدايته هو وكيف ظهر للحياة بجسد مليئ بالتشوهات والآلام ، وكم تأثرت حينما بدأ يشرح يوميات معاناته حتى صُدم يومًا حينما قالت له أمه:" لا مفر من الألم ، في نهاية المطاف سيمسُّنا كلنا ، وأما المعاناة فهي شيء إختياري ".
بعد هذه الجملة تغيرت حياة شون وحياة الكثيرين كما يظهر من عدد ما طُبع من الكتاب.
لاحظت وأما اقرأ أن شون يتحدث من واقع تجربة فهو ليس المعالج ذو ربطة العنق غالية الثمن الذي اتصل بالمشاكل نظريًا لكنه كتب وعالج وتفاعل بعدما ذاق مل هذه الأنواع من الآلام.
هذه بعض العبارات الجميلة من الكتاب:
" العذر غطاء لشيء لا نريد مواجهته"
" لا يوجد إنسان لديه أصدقاء ويصبح فاشلًا "
" لن تعيش السعادة في حياتك إلا إذا توقفت عن إلقاء اللوم على الآخرين بسبب ما يحدث في حياتك "
April 21, 2016
Picked this up on audio and it really did the trick for my long work days on the computer. Sean Stephenson narrates the audio for his book. What separates this from other "self help" books is the "to-do" exercises he has throughout the book in order to engage the reader. Sean was an inspiration for me to listen to. I particularly enjoyed listening to his take about the groups of friends we carry, that he calls our "pit crew" and his anecdotes, especially about seeing only the yellow in our lives and not all of the other colors.
I found myself using his advice in my conversations with family and friends and his anecdotes crossing over to my personal life. I found this gem when I needed it, thanks Dr. Sean Stephenson!
A video of Sean giving a talk is provided at the following website:
www.seanstephenson.com
I found myself using his advice in my conversations with family and friends and his anecdotes crossing over to my personal life. I found this gem when I needed it, thanks Dr. Sean Stephenson!
A video of Sean giving a talk is provided at the following website:
www.seanstephenson.com
November 23, 2017
A friend recommended me this book when I was
going though a rough time with my friends. I was unsure to continue many friendships that drained me personally. Those that claimed to be there for me but never was. And those that used me as an emotional sponge to relieve their stress on me instead of handling it in a more healthy manner. finally the friends who rather be passive aggressive instead of talking it out.
This book helped me develop skills for myself. outside of friendship. I learnt how to recognize myself saying but, and drill deep into what insecurities I had. And once all the important lessons were learnt, the final chapters related to friends.
friends are your pit crew. they can either help you improve and get off your butt, or they can drag you down. I learnt who my A pit crew consisted of and who didn't.
so what pit crew do you have?
going though a rough time with my friends. I was unsure to continue many friendships that drained me personally. Those that claimed to be there for me but never was. And those that used me as an emotional sponge to relieve their stress on me instead of handling it in a more healthy manner. finally the friends who rather be passive aggressive instead of talking it out.
This book helped me develop skills for myself. outside of friendship. I learnt how to recognize myself saying but, and drill deep into what insecurities I had. And once all the important lessons were learnt, the final chapters related to friends.
friends are your pit crew. they can either help you improve and get off your butt, or they can drag you down. I learnt who my A pit crew consisted of and who didn't.
so what pit crew do you have?
April 16, 2015
Nicely written and very easy to absorb. Some very inspiring stories from the author and his ability to overcome difficulty.
Very common sense approach overall, useful to get you thinking about where your life is at and how to move forward with things that might be holding you back or unfulfilled ambitions. Nothing ground breaking but I guess it depends where you are starting from.
There are a number of references to other motivational speakers and sources.
Very common sense approach overall, useful to get you thinking about where your life is at and how to move forward with things that might be holding you back or unfulfilled ambitions. Nothing ground breaking but I guess it depends where you are starting from.
There are a number of references to other motivational speakers and sources.
December 28, 2014
لقد ذكرت مرات عديدة أننى أحب كل الناس
ماذا ؟ كيف استطعت ادلاء بهذا التصريح الشامل ؟أضف ببساطة ، أنا أحب كل الناس حتى لا يتمكن أحد من امتلاكى ، لوكرهت شخصا ما ،
سيتملكنى هذا حقيقى سوف يستحوذ على كل افكارك فى كل مرة تفكر فيها كم هو بغيض
يستحوذ على كل المحادثات التى تجريها عندما تشتكى أمره لاصدقائك
عندما تكره شخصا سوف تصبح مثل دمية
متحركة لديه
ليس السبب الوحيد الذى يجعلنا نحب كل الناس خو الا يتحكم بنا أحد ولكنه بالتأكيد دافع فى غاية الاهمية
ماذا ؟ كيف استطعت ادلاء بهذا التصريح الشامل ؟أضف ببساطة ، أنا أحب كل الناس حتى لا يتمكن أحد من امتلاكى ، لوكرهت شخصا ما ،
سيتملكنى هذا حقيقى سوف يستحوذ على كل افكارك فى كل مرة تفكر فيها كم هو بغيض
يستحوذ على كل المحادثات التى تجريها عندما تشتكى أمره لاصدقائك
عندما تكره شخصا سوف تصبح مثل دمية
متحركة لديه
ليس السبب الوحيد الذى يجعلنا نحب كل الناس خو الا يتحكم بنا أحد ولكنه بالتأكيد دافع فى غاية الاهمية
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