Moving Forward: Six Steps to Forgiving Yourself and Breaking Free from the Past

by Everett L. Worthington Jr.

Dr. Worthington provides a path to freedom, from self-condemnation to self-acceptance, and to the life that Christ promises in Moving Forward. The partial truth about us is hard to We hurt those we love. We fail to step in when others need us most. We do wrong—and we need forgiveness. From others and from God, but also from ourselves.
 
But the full truth about us is liberating and while we are more deeply flawed than we can imagine, we also are far more valuable and cherished than we can comprehend. To reach the place of self-forgiveness, we must embrace this truth. The gift of God’s acceptance frees us from self-blame, guilt, and shame.
 
In this practical, inspiring book, Dr. Everett Worthington identifies six steps to forgiving
·         Receive God’s forgiveness
·         Repair relationships
·         Rethink ruminations
·         REACH emotional self-forgiveness
·         Rebuild self-acceptance
·         Resolve to live virtuously Weaving the story of his brother’s suicide and his overwhelming feelings of regret together with psychological insight, scientific research, and biblical truth, Dr. Worthington opens a clear path to obtaining a full, meaningful life through Christ.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Counselling

240 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2013

Reviews

[Caroline Abbott · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't struggle with forgiving myself, but I work with a lot of formerly abused women who do. I believe the steps outlined in this book would be very helpful to these women. The author shares his very painful story in the book, which makes it very engaging. Excellent resource!

[Vincent Waldron · Rating 4 out of 5]

Everett Worthington is a Christian psychologist who has extensive experience in clinical practice and also as a professor at Virginia Commonwealth University. The focus of his research has been on forgiveness and he has written several books on the subject.

His model for achieving forgiveness is summarized by the acrostic REACH -- Remember the hurt, Empathize with the offender, give the Altruistic gift of forgiveness, Commit to that gift of forgiveness, and Hold on to forgiveness over time.

Of course, most of the focus of forgiveness is on forgiving others in your life who have offended and the question that he addresses in this book is what if you are the offending party? How do you reach the place where you are able to commit to self-forgiveness?

Throughout the chapters of this book, Dr. Worthington uses Scripture and his own experience in dealing with the aftermath of his brother's suicide and their previous rocky relationship, to help the reader see how one can move forward after traumatic events that you were responsible for.

He talks about asking forgiveness from others, attempting to make restitution, and confessing the wrongdoing to God. Most of all, he makes it clear that this is a journey and a long one at best. It took him years to forgive himself for not being as present for his brother as, in hindsight, he thought he should have been.

The content of the book is solid. I suppose I feel as though its benefits are a bit limited. Not everyone is as introspective as Ev Worthington and many people don't seem to struggle with self-forgiveness at all. The bigger problem for most people is forgiving others and he addresses that more fully in other books.

[Eleny · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great read for anyone who suffers from the crippling shame and guilt of their faults and mistakes that prevents them from moving forward. The author specializes in psychological research on self forgiveness and self acceptance which he includes in the book. He also includes his testimony on dealing with shame after the death of his brother. There is a lot of heavy and complex ideas discussed in this book but he makes his 6 steps to self forgiveness very simple and understandable to anyone. This book has a spiritual aspect but since I am a Christian I find that it makes it an even more complete approach to self forgiveness. It’s hard to find good self help books within the Christian market because they only use the Bible as the guide. I don’t have a problem with the Bible it’s just that when discussing psychological issues it’s best to have a psychologist or research included in these conversations. I have been looking for practical steps to forgive others and forgive myself. This book was an answer to my prayers after I randomly picked it up at my local library. I recommend you read it if you have been struggling with guilt, shame, self-forgiveness and self acceptance.

[Chet Taranowski · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not a bad guide to dealing with self forgiveness. The book relies heavily on references to the Bible; so it is not for the more secular reader.

[Geoffrey Sutton · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a helpful book. Ev gets personal in this book but he also offers a strategy for self-forgiveness. I’ve published a longer review on my blog.

[Denise DiFalco · Rating 4 out of 5]

Guilt stifles and imprisons it's victims. Guilt stops individuals from reaching their goals as they wade in self-loathing. Guilt destroys all self worth and can even lead to deep depression, a nervous breakdown, addictions and even suicide. For myself, guilt was the most debilitating force I experienced in my life which attributed to my becoming a housebound agoraphobic. Clinical Psychologist Everett L. Worthington Jr. describes the beauty of the Gospel and Christ's death on the cross which frees us of the bondage of guilt. His book is a God Send for all those afflicted with doubts about forgiveness. Moving Forward - Six Steps to Forgiving Yourself and Breaking Free from the Past examines the difference between real and unwarranted guilt (those things we have no control over but blame ourselves). He presents the reader with a path to stop beating themselves up over the past. Using Scripture as his basis, he sites examples of other individuals who have benefited by his tools. Although this excellent book was not available when I was younger, I was able to obtain a stellar psychologist who helped me through my dark period and I successfully overcame my depression and agoraphobia. It's important for the reader to realize we all make mistakes and none of us are worthy of redemption but because of God's love, we are saved through his Son. Guilt was meant to remind us to remain humble and if we fall that we ask for forgiveness and to go on and not repeat the same mistakes. Dr. Washington skillfully guides the reader to reach self-forgiveness and once this door is open, you will be able to accept the loving forgiveness of God. Your burdens will be lifted and finally you will be able to love more freely with your new self-acceptance. It's time to move on and enjoy life as God wants you to. This book is essential for a healthy self-esteem. I am grateful for Waterbrook Multnomah for the opportunity of reading this in advance. I highly recommend .

[Joel Jackson · Rating 4 out of 5]

In "Moving Forward" Everett L. Worthington offers wisdom imbued with God's grace. Worthington explores the tragedy of his mother's murder and brother's subsequent suicide with the aching beauty of one who has faced suffering, doubt, pain, and self-loathing in the midst of the unquenchable grace of God. Through the tragedies of both of these events, Worthington developed a sense of guilt due to the fact that he was not there for his brother. He discovered a need to forgive himself for his felt responsibility in his brother's suicide. In exploring this, Worthington develops six steps toward self-forgivness: 1) Receive God's forgiveness; 2) Repair Relationships; 3) Rethink the Message You Send Yourself; 4) REACH Emotional Self-Forgiveness; 5) Rebuild Self-Acceptance; and 6) Resolve to Live Virtuously. In exploring these six steps, Worthington takes the reader through a necessary component of life. Many of us have left over guilt from one event or another in our lives. Many of us sit and dwell on past wrongs we have caused to others, these six steps can be very helpful in delivering us and guiding us toward being the people of grace that God has created us to be. From a pastoral perspective, I find many aspects of this book applicable to ministry and how I not only forgive myself, but assist others in this daunting task. The concluding step: Resolve to Live Virtuously is particularly important as Christians seek to reach the life toward which we are called. While we are not saved or forgiven by our own actions, we are brought closer to holiness as we seek to live virtuously in reflection of our Lord. This is a great place to conclude whenever we approach the topic of forgiveness and the need to be Christlike in our attitudes and actions. I received this book as part of the Blogging for Books program from Multonomah Publishers.

[ACS Book-finder · Rating 4 out of 5]

In Moving Forward Everett L. Worthington Jr. has published a compelling book of forgiveness; the first chapter opened with the story of his brother witnessing the aftermath of his mother's murder. His brother committed suicide after a long bout with depression, and Everett wrote about the impact those actions made on his psyche. Since he is a Christian psychiatrist, he struggled for years with guilt over not being able to help his brother more.

Everett uses many Biblical principles, but he admits that self-love, self-acceptance, and self-forgiveness are never mentioned in the Bible. He also uses research by other psychiatrists to emphasize his points. Everett has six steps to self-forgiveness:

Receive God's forgiveness
Repair Relationships
Rethink ruminations
REACH emotional self-forgiveness
Rebuild self-acceptance
Resolve to live virtuously

This is a very easy-to-read, practical book. I do recommend reading it for someone who is struggling with overcoming negative thoughts. Inner thoughts become attitudes and actions. My only reservation is the extra-Biblical ideas that sound good but may be in error. Everett has a nice writing style; other information and resources can be found at www.forgiveself.com. (reviewed by M.Reynolds)

DISCLOSURE: A complimentary copy was provided by Blogging for Books on behalf of the publisher and author for the purpose of our honest review. No compensation was received for this review. Opinions expressed are solely those of the reviewer.

[Linda Krueger · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a thought provoking book. A nice mix between story and self help. There are many great points to help you in your journey to self-forgiveness. His 5 steps are not unachievable but it it's a process. Two points that really hit me and are different from many other self help books are:
1. Give yourself the same altruistic gift you would give other people-understanding and forgiveness.
2. Commit to the emotional self-forgiveness that you experience in order to...Hold on to self-forgiveness of you ever soft that you have forgiven yourself.

Forgiveness and self-forgiveness are not one-time actions. You have to constantly re-forgive because Satan likes to mess with our mind. God gives us the power to cast him away.

[Kate · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's a basic self-help book. It is not written for atheists.