Sex and Money: Pleasures That Leave You Empty and Grace That Satisfies

by Paul David Tripp (Brand)

Pleasure. We live in a world obsessed with finding it, passionate about enjoying it, and desperate about maintaining it. Chief among such objects of affection are sex and money--two pleasures unequaled in their power to captivate our attention and demand our worship. In what is sure to become an instant classic, popular author Paul David Tripp pulls back the curtain on the lies of our flesh and the ways we distort God's good gifts, examining the insanity of our culture and exposing our tendency to fall prey to the hollow promises of this world. In exploring how God’s grace frees us from futile pursuits, Tripp directs readers to the wisdom of God in Scripture and the liberating power of the gospel, offering practical guidance on finding true joy and enduring satisfaction.

Genres: Christian Living, Christian, Audiobook, Theology, Christianity, Faith, Counselling

8 pages, Audiobook

First published April 19, 2013

About the author

Paul was born in Toledo, Ohio to Bob and Fae Tripp on November 12, 1950. Paul spent all of his growing years in Toledo until his college years when his parents moved to Southern California.
At Columbia Bible College from 1968-1972, (now Columbia International University) Paul majored in Bible and Christian Education. Although he had planned to be there for only two years and then to study journalism, Paul more and more felt like there was so much of the theology of Scripture that he did not understand, so he decided to go to seminary. Paul met Luella Jackson at College and they married in 1971. In 1971, Paul took his first pastoral position and has had a heart for the local church ever since. After college, Paul completed his Master of Divinity degree at the Reformed Episcopal Seminary (now known as Philadelphia Theological Seminary) in Philadelphia (1972-1975). It was during these days that Paul’s commitment to ministry solidified. After seminary, Paul was involved in planting a church in Scranton, Pennsylvania (1977-1987) where he also founded a Christian School. During the years in Scranton, Paul became involved in music, traveling with a band and writing worship songs. In Scranton, Paul became interested in biblical counseling and decided to enroll in the D.Min program in Biblical Counseling at Westminster Theological Seminary, Philadelphia. Paul then became a faculty member of the Christian Counseling and Education Foundation (CCEF) and a lecturer in biblical counseling at Westminster Theological Seminary, Philadelphia. Paul has also served as Visiting Professor at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, Kentucky.
In 2009, Paul joined the faculty of Redeemer Seminary (daughter school of Westminster) in Dallas, Texas as Professor of Pastoral Life and Care.[1]
Beginning in June, 2006, Paul became the President of Paul Tripp Ministries, a non-profit organization, whose mission statement is "Connecting the transforming power of Jesus Christ to everyday life." In addition to his current role as President of Paul Tripp Ministries, on January 1, 2007, Paul also became part of the pastoral staff at Tenth Presbyterian Church in Philadelphia, PA where he preached every Sunday evening and lead the Ministry to Center City through March, 2011 when he resigned due to the expanding time commitments needed at Paul Tripp Ministries.
Paul, Luella, and their four children moved to Philadelphia in 1987 and have lived there ever since. Paul is a prolific author and has written twelve books on Christian living which are sold internationally. Luella manages a large commercial art gallery in the city and Paul is very dedicated to painting as an avocation.[2] Paul’s driving passion is to help people understand how the gospel of the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ really does speak with practical hope into all the things they will face in this broken world. Paul is a pastor with a pastor’s heart, a gifted speaker, his journey taking him all over the world, an author of numerous books on practical Christian living, and a man who is hopelessly in love with Luella.

Reviews

[Bob Morton · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really did want to like this book. I wanted so bad to like this book. But it just was not there for me. For the record, for the average Christian who does not think that they need this book, this could be an eye opener to their lifestyle that they are not aware of. That is, if they could get past the title that they would skip over because they do not think that it would apply to them.

So what was my problem with this? In an unofficial capacity I have a ministry to men with addictions. The title screams that this would help me help them, especially those with sexual addictions. Mr. Trip tells us over and over that we should turn away from out problems (rarely does he call them addictions) and put Jesus back on the throne as we move ourselves off of it. Now, this is good advice, I have no problem with that. The problem is a person with addictions needs to hear this but also needs to be given steps in the natural to overcome their problems. Mr. Trip does not offer anything like this at all. One without the other is not a real solid teaching in my estimation.

Except for a few chapters it is mostly about sexual problems in life. Change the statistics and put in other addictions and this book could have been about any pair of addictions that you want them to be. The book is really that generic. Basic quote from the book to sum it all up:

“The dynamic of addiction is that if you look to something that God created, to give you what it wasn’t intended to give you, either you get discouraged quickly, and wisely abandon those hopes, or you go back again and again, and in so doing, you begin to travel down addiction’s road."

In other words, you take the creation and replace the creator with it.

I think that the only chapter I liked really well was chapter 4 that talks about 'The highest pleasure'. He tells us why we are wired for pleasure and how to get Godly pleasure.

For the average user this book will most likely be OK. I really can not recommend it for anyone who is working in ministry to people like this or to the families of people with addictions. They will repeat the things to the addict thinking they are helping and the addict needs help, not just words.

[Teresa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Chapter 4, which presents a biblical perspective on pleasure, is the best part of this book. Pleasure points to God as the good gift giver and the only true satisfaction.

Lots of good material here but I would agree with other reviews that this is not a “practical” book full of tactics and tips and to-do’s. As with most of Tripp’s writing, it’s more about getting thoughts and attitudes aligned with God’s will.

My only complaints here would be the Trippy idiosyncrasies of his writing style (you know what I mean if you’ve read him enough: full paragraphs of sentences that all start the same, made-up words like “me-ism”, etc.), and a casual, imprecise use of the word “addiction”… a topic that probably requires its own book, written with a doctor’s oversight.

[Kevin Halloran · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm a big fan of Paul Tripp, I really am. I also know this book can be life-changing for people. What I didn't think worked very well was tackling two topics in one book (perhaps that's why Crossway is releasing two Tripp books this year: one on money, one on sex). It didn't seem natural for me even though there are similar root problems. I also feel the book could have been 30% shorter--it got very repetitive during the second half. Don't let my critiques discourage you from reading this (or better yet, one of Tripp's newer ones). Tripp knows the complexities of our sinful hearts how the gospel applies. It's beautiful.

[Carol Arnold · Rating 4 out of 5]

I started reading this book for two reasons. 1. One of the categories on the current Tim Challis reading challenge is to read a book about money or finances. 2. I had received it for free some time back from Christian Audio. I started reading it with the assumption that I was good on both issues, but I should have known better! It was by Paul Tripp and he always goes straight for the heart! He showed how both of these issues is a heart/worship issue. He says that we are created to worship and we worship every day, not just an hour on Sunday morning. Question is, "Who/what do we worship?" These two areas of our life reveal the answer to that question. Way too often we are selfishly worshiping self and seeking our own good, our own pleasures. We, by our actions, show that we think we are better than God in giving ourselves the good things that we desire in life. When we do this, we reveal that we don't understand that this life is just preparation for eternity!

[David Mosher · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is where we see self-ism manifests itself the most, in how we view and approach sex and how we think about money. The younger you are (within reason) when you understand the God given importance of each, the better off you will be. Both were provided for very specific purposes, for good, by our Creator and when we pervert either one of them, the road to destruction is wide. This book has some very important content in it and while I do recommend the book, it comes with a warning.

I am probably in the minority when I say I am just not a big fan of Tripp's style of writing. This book would be far more impactful had it been 40 pages shorter. Tripp tends to fill many pages by repeating what he had already written, several times. Some really enjoy that style, I personally don't unless it is in the context of the Bible. So, read the book for the applicable content on sex and money, but don't be surprised if you end up skipping through some pages.

[Michael Boling · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sex and money – two things many would arguably state they don’t have enough of these days. Additionally, these two issues comprise the pursuits of far too many these days. It is not as if sex and the pursuit and use of money are sins as after all, God created sex and money is an inanimate object. What gets most people in trouble is the incorrect pursuit of these two issues to include the lordship that sex and money has in the lives of many people today. It is this incorrect application and the need for society at large to reassess sex and money in relation to how God desires them to function in our lives that is addressed in Pau Tripp’s excellent book, Sex and Money: Pleasures that Leave You Empty and Grace that Satisfies.

I will state at the outset of this review that this book is one of the best books I have read all year. For an individual such as myself that has the opportunity to read a wide variety of theological and Christian living books throughout the year, that is saying quite a bit to rate this book so highly. As I read this book, I found myself continually convicted resulting in the realization that I have quite a few misplaced priorities in the areas of sex and money that need to be addressed. Immediately, I began to evaluate areas in my life and in the life of my family that need to come under the lordship of God to include a discussion with my wife of how we spend our money. Essentially, this evaluation boils down to whether or not sex and money are things in my life that glorify God. Admittedly, in many areas the unfortunate answer is no.

Tripp rightly notes our world has gone completely crazy when it comes to sex and money. Often, our society’s issues with sex and money are blamed on environment, sex or money itself or anyone other than ourselves. Tripp saliently notes “the humbling truth is that when it comes to sex and money we don’t have a thing problem; the things (sex and money) are not evil in themselves. We don’t have an environment problem, as if our surroundings cause the difficulty. No, we are the problem. The counterintuitive reality is that it’s only ever the evil inside us that magnetizes us toward and connects us to the evil that’s outside of us.”

There is a solution to this problem. It is not simply rooted in no longer looking at dirty magazines, movies, lewd music or avoiding the Black Friday sales which lure people into overspending on material things that will be thrown away or forgotten in a matter of weeks. Since our problems with sex and money are evidence of a wicked heart, the only answer to faulty appropriations of sex and money is the grace of God. This aspect is where Tripp’s book really shines. It is one thing to simply point out that society has a problem. One would hope at least that even the most spiritual blind among us can at least partially admit that society is over-sexualized and the pursuit of things and keeping up with the latest fad and celebrity is the focus of many people’s every waking moment. Providing helpful biblical solutions to the problem separates mere self help approach style books from books rooted in pointing the individual to the answer, namely the grace of God through Jesus Christ.

I appreciated Tripp’s focus on worship, relationships, and obedience in relation to sex and money. This takes the focus off of ourselves and our penchant for misusing these gifts to focusing our efforts in regards to sex and money to the worship of God, the building of godly relationships, and being obedient stewards of money and being obedient to how God designed sex to function. Tripp aptly comments “Sex for the glory of the Creator is sex made sane again. Sex as an act of the worship of God is sex made right again. And in this struggle of glory and worship, God meets us with his tender and patient grace.” Furthermore, since everything is life is rooted in loving God and loving others, the proper use of sex and money is the proper building of relationships. Instead of being me focused, the use of sex and money must be God focused. Tripp again aptly declares “Divine enthronement is at the root of sexual insanity of every kind. If you are questing for the position of God, you will not behave as you should in any area of your life.” This same truth can be applied to our use of money as well. Finally, Tripp avers that “Sexual purity doesn’t begin with setting up a regimen for behavioral change. It begins with mourning the condition of your heart, and when you do, you can rest assured that you will be greeted with powerful grace because your Savior has promised that he will never turn his back when you come to him with a broken and contrite heart.”

In a world that finds itself under a mountain of crushing debt and devotion to sexual immorality of all types, the typical approach is to look everywhere for help except God. The result is a society that loves sex and money instead of loving God. Many have asserted that money is the root of all evil or that sex is bad. Money is not evil and sex is not evil. It is the misuse and lordship of both over God that is evil. The answer as Tripp so marvelously reminds the reader throughout this excellent book is the grace of God through Jesus Christ. I truly loved the way Tripp ended this book, especially his closing argument that “we needn’t panic; we needn’t succumb; we needn’t thing that our battles are leading nowhere. We must not give way to assessments of poverty, aloneness, and impossibility, because the insanity has been invaded by the Messiah, Jesus. He faced every insane thing we face, and he defeated it all on our behalf. He did all this so that you and I would have the grace we need to face the sex-and-money struggles that we will continue to face until eternity is our home and the insanity has been quieted forever.”

Since the issues of sex and money impact every person on this planet, this book is a must read for everyone on this planet. We all struggle with how to properly view sex and money in our lives so understanding how to deal with those struggles in a biblical manner is a must. Tripp reminds the reader over and over again of the need to lay these struggles at the foot of the cross. Only by reorienting our perspectives and focus in life, can we even begin to properly deal with sex and money, let alone understanding that sex and money misused are but fleeting pleasures. Sex and money properly used build godly relationships and store up treasures in heaven, focusing all the glory to God and Him alone who is the only one who deserves to be God in our lives.

[Obed Gonzalez · Rating 5 out of 5]

Este libro es sumamente directo, fácil de comprender y bastante profundo en un tema que difícilmente nos damos a la tarea de considerar en nuestra vida cotidiana. Es mi primer libro de Paul Tripp que leo y la verdad que me he quedado fascinado de su forma de escribir.

A través de historias reales de consejería y demás casos particulares, Paul nos lleva a considerar como el Sexo y el Dinero no son temas aislados de nuestra vida cristiana, sino que el mal uso que damos de estas dádivas provistas por Dios son un problema mucho más profundo que la conducta; en realidad, esto es un problema de adoración.

La tesis del libro radica en el desquiciamiento de este mundo ante el abuso en el tema sexual y financiero. Nos muestra cómo estas problemáticas son producto de un corazón embriagado de nosotros mismos y nos llama a recordar el Evangelio y creer como Dios es nuestro Señor en todas las áreas de nuestra vida y no solo en ciertas secciones aisladas de nuestro peregrinaje por este mundo.

Un libro recomendado que todo cristiano debería leer, tanto aquellos que batallamos en alguna de estas dos áreas, así como para aquellos que tengan la oportunidad de ayudar a alguien que esté padeciendo de estos males en el corazón humano.

[Norm Konzelman · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a long and always good, if not excellent book.
It's a shame the title seems not to live up to the rescuing information and truths contained within it's pages, though for the life of me, I wouldn't know what else to title it.
For me, it was much deeper as how to walk with God more sincerely, and warnings to help avoid the tragedy that love of money, and impure desires can take a person to.
The author keeps hammering on the sin for a long time in this long book, and I could not take it in except by measure. Not until near the end does he begin to "speak comfortably" with encouragement, but I wouldn't change a thing even if I could.
The audio is very well read and I wish everyone could hear this work in these days of lowering standards and morality in the lives of far too many.
Thank you.

[Will · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book has a lot of godly wisdom regarding sex and money, but listening to it is like panning for gold: you have to go through a lot of pebbles before you find that nugget of gold. But I say "listening" because I couldn't decide whether it's the writing itself that was poor, or whether it just didn't lend itself well to the audio format. The "anonymous stories" at the beginning of most chapters get really repetitive after a while, and don't always help to illustrate the concepts or advance the arguments. Still worth it though.

[Dom · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not a bad book, but it could have used a bit more content. As a whole, the book is a good exploration of the way that in seeking pleasure and satisfaction in sex and money we can replace the enthronement of God with created things. As far as it goes in exploring that concept, the book does a good job, but I do wish it dove further into application. That said, it’s still worth reading, and did challenge me to think differently about my relationship with sex and money but I wouldn’t say it is the best book for people wishing to overcome issues in these areas.

[Theron John · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is honest, heart-exposing, and hopeful. It is honest as Paul Tripp transparently shares and confesses his own struggle in these areas. It is heart-exposing, opening my eyes to subtleties where I have sought for these areas to satisfy, thereby calling me to repentance. It is hopeful because it points the reader to the only One who can satisfy and solve our problem, the Lord Jesus Christ. Our hope is His gospel!

[Vincent Ng · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book is as the title describes. Tripp delves into the two gargantuan issues affect mankind; the first being sex and the other money. Tripp explores how these two ambitions ultimately fail to satisfy mankind, but keeps us wanting more. He states that the issues we have are not budget, financial and things issues but rather issues of treasure, kingship, and heart. The only proper solution for our money and sex idolatry is the grace of God culminating on the cross.

[Mark Donald · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent work on two incredibly important, yet under addressed subjects in the Christian life.

Tripp addresses both Sex and Money with biblical clarity and points to a grace filled, God glorifying vision for how these gifts can be enjoyed in a way which honors God.

Highly recommend. Wish I could give a copy to every member of my church and have them read it!

[Josh Trice · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a solid and challenging read. Tripp exposes two centers of idolatry in our modern hearts: sex & money and meets them with Gospel truth.
This wasn't a life-changing read, but certainly helpful enough to recommend.

[Rachel Oldaker · Rating 5 out of 5]

all a matter of the heart. a book I will come back to and read (or listen to) again and again.

[Patrick · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a book I needed to hear. I needed reinforced. It is not full of new concepts, it is just solid biblical insight about sex and money.

[Scott · Rating 4 out of 5]

There were some interesting points in this, but still it left out so much that was a part. I guess not everything can be assembled into one book.

[Darcy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fantastic! This should be required reading for anyone who breathes.

[Radido O. · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book hits the nail on the head! It will change your perspective on not only sex and money, but on things we value in general; I know mine has! This is a life changing book. Highly recommended!

[Lance Crandall · Rating 4 out of 5]

Overall very good! Pulls no punches, very straightforward

[Andy Febrico Bintoro · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not many people dare to write about this topic, but here the author write his thoughts boldly. This book not focused on social issue, but more on people transformation to the Truth.

[Bria · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book has a great deal of substance and is definitely worth the read. However, editors missed the mark as there were quite a few typos throughout the text.

[Enrique Torres · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Es triste pensar cuánta gente en su vergüenza negará no solo el daño de lo que está haciendo sino la profundidad de su cautividad."

¡Checa este libro que será de bendición para ti!

[S Dunn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Exceptional work at getting to hiw we are all worshippers and the way we often try to use sex and money to fill what only God can.

[Mathew · Rating 5 out of 5]

Paul David Tripp writes with pastoral care and gospel richness. As I was reading Sex and Money, I felt as though he was personally preaching the gospel to me. I wish someone would have given me this book in college. He doesn’t overstate when he says, “Few areas of the human struggle reveal more powerfully the sad sinfulness of sin than the sex-and-money evils that are done thousands of times every day” (p. 11).

What I loved. Tripp rejoices in sex and money as good gifts given by God. So much of what passes for Christian “theology” on sex and money is nothing more than Greek gnosticism. The spirit is good; the body is bad. Therefore, sex and the material wealth we accumulate are base desires to be rejected outright. In contrast, Tripp says,
[B]ecause sex and money are the creations of God’s hand and exist under the control of his sovereignty, they should be approached by us with reverence and awe, not with embarrassment and timidity. Sex and money came from him, belong to him, and continue to exist through him; to him be the glory. . . . The gospel graces us with everything we need to celebrate and participate in both areas in a way that honors God and fully enjoys the good things he’s given us to enjoy. (pp. 18, 19 italics mine)

Second, Tripp drives us to the cross and admonishes us to repent (p. 82).
Here is your hope: when Christ unites him- self to you, he doesn’t leave his grace at the door. He brings to this union all of those provisions of grace that you and I need to be what we’re supposed to be and to do what we’re supposed to do in sex and in everything else. Your union with Christ welcomes you to be a sober celebrant. Sober, because you have grasped the seriousness of your union with Christ, and a celebrant, because you understand the hope and help this union provides that can be found no other way. (p. 93)
I found myself reading a few pages and stopping to pray. Reading more and repenting. Ending the chapter with praise and adoration for a gospel that’s big enough to cover even the darkest of our sins.
Be faithful to remind yourself again and again that to resist being ruled by what you’ve been welcomed to enjoy, you have been given forgiving, empowering, transforming, and delivering grace for the battle. Few things argue more strongly for your need of that grace than your struggle to keep God-given pleasures in their proper place. (p. 66)

Third, Tripps reminds us that sex is worship. “Your sexual life will always be an expression of what you truly worship. Sex is deeply religious” (p. 34) and “Sexual struggles have a much deeper beginning point than your eyes and your sexual organs” (p. 47). God created sex and he did an excellent job at it. However, sex isn’t an end in itself (see pp. 56, 75). Sex only points to God as worship of his creativity and glory (p. 59).

Reading Sex and Money is truly a practice in applying the gospel to oneself. These topics are common to us all. We all struggle or are impacted in some way by sex and money. We all need the gospel in these areas of life. Pastors must read Sex and Money as well. Not only because it will serve your heart but it will teach you how to minister to those under your care struggling with these issues.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received Sex and Money free from the Crossway. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

[Danette · Rating 3 out of 5]

I listened to the audio version which isn't the best for me but I did enjoy the book. I think it would be valuable to go through a study with a group or friend.

A book about Christian living.

[Christian Koethke · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tripp spoke truth to my heart. The truth that God has created all things for his glory, which includes my sexuality.

[Josh · Rating 5 out of 5]

excellent book.
insightful. author looks at issues from multiple perspectives like a house through many windows. Reveals a lot about different ways lies, deception, temptations are in my heart and masqueraded as normal.

[Jan · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a wise counselor, he tackles the HARD subjects without flinching, driving his point home again and again, that it is our faulty desires for especially sex and being loved that causes us to settle for less. Paul Tripp is an excellent teacher and uses the gospel and engages us with these topics. He says he also has failed and continues to fail and be forgiven by God's grace in these areas. He says the reason he choose now to write about sex and money are insanity, addiction and glory. The culture and our media has driven us to look for love in all the wrong places, and then we wonder why we are troubled and depressed.

This is a perfect book to give to teens, as a study guide. Parents and teens alike could find great value in this book, Nothing Paul Tripp says denies that sex is God's gift to us, and that it is how we approach and use it that is faulty. What an excellent book.

[DT · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is gospel centric and treats sex and money more as “case studies” of things that often usurp God in our life. It’s not explicitly about sex or money per se. The book does an excellent job of explaining why our worship should focus on the Creator and not His creation.

The problem with this book is how it is written. Tripp takes pages to explain things that could be summed up in a couple of sentences. He is very repetitive as well. I feel like the message could have been sent with half the number of pages. He also seems to focus more on sex than money, and didn’t really tie the two topics together. The book comes across as very disorganized.

This is the first book I’ve ever read by Paul David Tripp and it makes me not want to read more of his work. I do have his daily devotional book, “New Morning Mercies” and I noticed the same repetitiveness and wordiness in that as well.

He speaks the truth, but I wish he had a better way of presenting it.