If You Loved Me, You'd Stop! What You Really Need to Know When Your Loved One Drinks Too Much

by Lisa Frederiksen

If You Loved Me, You’d Stop! What You Really Need To Know When Your Loved One Drinks Too Much combines the most current brain research on alcoholism and alcohol abuse with Lisa Frederiksen’s 40 years experience in dealing with these family problems. By explaining this research from the perspective of someone who has personally survived the ravages of a loved one’s drinking, Ms. Frederiksen offers fresh hope for the more than 50 percent of Americans (and the one in four children) who have a family member with a drinking problem. This book addresses a host of issues surrounding alcoholism and alcohol abuse, including co-addictions, DUIs, underage drinking, dual diagnosis, codependency, and, importantly, the characteristics that distinguish alcoholism from alcohol abuse (excessive drinking). Frederiksen’s book targets those who know their loved one drinks too much and believe that if they can just get them to stop, life will return to normal.

Paperback

First published December 1, 2008

About the author

Lisa Frederiksen has a 38-year career in executive management, consulting, speaking, and writing. Guided by her personal experience with secondhand drinking (SHD) and working to overcome its impact, Lisa has now spent more than a decade researching, writing, consulting, and speaking on a range of SHD-related topics, all anchored in 21st century brain research.

http://www.breakingthecycles.com/blog...

Reviews

[Joan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an amazing approach to looking at the trauma and craziness of living with an alcohol or substance abuser - not just about 'how to' but actually understanding that the person living with abuse has experienced changes in brain chemistry and becomes 'hard wired' to react in certain ways. Lisa's no nonsense style and first hand experience with her significant others really hits home - I cannot recommend this enough for anyone who lives with or has to deal with an alcohol or substance abuser! Her website is also packed with info - breakingthecycles.com

[Rob Fellows · Rating 5 out of 5]

The author of this book provides a fresh and much needed new look at alcohol abuse and its effect on families. Of particular note is the introduction of modern brain science to help understand the struggle of the person who is misusing alcohol. Read this book for an honest, direct, and insightful discussion of how to approach alcohol and drinkers differently.

[Lacey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Anyone who has ever been involved with a person who has a drinking problem, be it a family member or spouse or friend; this is a good book about how us as the ones who don't battle the problem can start to "respond " and stop "reacting" which doesn't help anyone involved. How to be honest and find your happy and how to put the weight of what the other person chooses to do on their own shoulders and how to understand that no matter what you'll do to try and convince the loved one otherwise there's a better path, they have to be that one who ultimately chooses that path. Informative read and not too long- Like a good reminder... We all battle issues and we've all have had times it seems to heavy to hold, it's good to be reminded we all have choices we can choose to make to make it better.

[Barbara Stoefen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lisa Frederickson’s book, “If You Loved Me, You’d Stop,” is a must-read for anyone wanting to better understand addiction. Written especially for the families of alcoholics, the writer’s insights apply equally as well when other addictive drugs are the problem.

Well-written and authoritative, this book will be your manual. It’s concise, yet packed with information. You’ll learn the difference between “problem drinking” and “alcoholic drinking,” and the many brain science reasons why our loved one can’t “just stop” using alcohol… or any other drug.

“If You Loved Me, You’d Stop” also provides extremely helpful information about co-dependency, and tips on how to step away from your own damaging behaviors. You’ll find freedom on these pages!

Barbara Cofer Stoefen
Author, “A Very Fine House: A Mother’s Story of Love, Faith and Crystal Meth”

[Kristen Frankie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good for anyone dealing with a loved one struggling with any kind of addiction.