To My Assistant: Things I'll Never Do to You, But Many Other Crazy Bosses Will

by Lydia Whitlock

From the Hollywood assistant trenches, a hilarious guide to surviving life at the bottom of the totem pole.I will not make you sort my M&Ms by color. I will not take off four hours in the middle of the day to go shopping and then announce upon my return that “it’s going to be a late one—we need to catch up!” I will not request that you create and maintain my online dating profile. Welcome to the wickedly funny world of To My Assistant, where overworked and underappreciated assistants finally get their due. We’ve all been there. You might even be there right now. Do you depend upon your college education to handle crucial business decisions such as memorizing your boss’ lunch order, trying to schedule four meetings where only one can go, and helping your boss detag Facebook photos?   Or what about those awesome days when you’re instructed to “send me that thing from a week ago,” “call that guy I wanted to call,” or “book me a table at that restaurant that girl said was really good,” and are then berated when you’re not able to figure out immediately what your boss is talking about? To My Assistant compiles everything that disgruntled and optimistic assistants everywhere promise NEVER TO DO when, one day, they have assistants of their own. From ridiculous requests and backhanded compliments to outright insults, and complete with helpful tips and tricks for Boss Wrangling—like what you can learn about your boss’s mood from his meal choices, how to navigate such professional minefields as requests for your opinion and interactions with your boss’s children and pets, and advanced translation techniques for incoherent e-mails and text messages—these pages are just what the underpaid masses need to survive (and laugh at) the daily injustices of life at the bottom of the totem pole. 

Genres: Humor, Nonfiction

272 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2013

Reviews

[Beth Gordon · Rating 3 out of 5]

Was pretty funny, I know a couple of terrible people who would do stuff like this to their assistant.

[Mandy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Inspired by the outrageous and ridiculous things she encountered with her bosses while working as a Hollywood assistant, Lydia Whitlock wanted to memorialize it all in the book To My Assistant. Along with its companion blog, the book is a compilation of all the things future bosses promise to do and not do to their future assistants.

The thing that drew me most to this book is how much it reminds me of the movie version of Devil Wears Prada. To My Assistant highlights all of the ridiculous requests and peculiar behavior of bosses. The book makes light of the everyday frustrations experience by an assistant, but does bring out a lot of truthfulness in the situation.

In attempt to vary the book’s structure, Whitlock includes graphs and charts of interaction with bosses, witty “IMs from Hell” and email exchanges and sections of promises of what she’ll not do to her future assistant. While I appreciate the variation, the lack of consistency in structure and format is little dizzying. Additionally, it’s often hard to remember in what point of view the book is written – current assistant/future boss speaking to future assistant. While this is the main premise of the book, writing the perspective could have been more fluid.

The inherent nature of this book is meant to be sarcastic, but I kept looking for actual advice on how to deal with these baffling situations. Its one thing to use an entire book to commiserate about being an assistant, but some follow up on how to handle the situations would have additional added depth and purpose to the book.
A quick and often funny read, To My Assistant is a worthwhile book for any junior or entry level worker. Official assistant or not, you’re sure to identify with at least some of the situations in the book.


To My Assistant was published in 2013 by Crown Publishing/Random House. I received a copy of the book from the publisher.

[SweetSweeede · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoy these kind of compilation books - collection of crazy notes left on bulletin boards in apartment buildings, collection of hilarious newspaper clippings etcetera etcetera.

I work as a secretary/PA myself, and a lot of the less extreme things described in this book happens on a regular basis and it makes you want to pull your hair out or just plain explode. I found it comforting to know people in other countries have it way worse (we don't work those kind of hours without compensation, for instance).

I believe Ms. Whitlock says in her author's note that not all these things happened to her personally. It's a compilation book of crazy things that can happen to an assistant. The tone of the book is very humorous, and I like the little illustrations and charts in between.

No, a novel it is not, and if you're looking for a chicklit read or something like that, keep moving. But if you, like me, enjoy humorous anecdotes like the ones you see on Jay Leno's Headlines, or Ellen's Autocorrect Fails, then this is a book for you.

[Laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is such a light read that i can barely call this a book. This is set out in some ways like dictionary, in other ways like a magazine and finally bound to appear like a book.

First we shall start with the good; This is a really funny read. Lydia is trying to pass on her advice as an assistant promoted to a boss/management level on what she shouldnt expect from her. Some parts especially the random texts are hilarious.

Now the negatives :(; Unfortunately some of the complaints Lydia has against her bosses are really quite normal human behaviours. She complains that her boss has an arguement over the phone whith her spouse, but i think everyone does that from time to time. I see it as a little embaressing, not something to be apalled at. I do also think that Lydia is a little weak in that she has little back bone and should have spoken back against such bad bosses.

[Michele · Rating 3 out of 5]

More frustrating than humorous, I was certainly sympathetic that the assistant had to deal with such ridiculous office antics. I appreciated it as a window into a world I never hope to traverse. However, it was easy to get upset with Assistant for taking so much crap. I get that this was the "way in the door", s/he needed the money, etc. However, I don't think I would've sacrificed so much of myself and my youth to become one of those ridiculous, horrible bosses in my future.

[Jessica · Rating 5 out of 5]

absolutely hilarious!!! got an arc from work and this may be the funniest book ive ever read. i havent had the misfortune of having one of these horrible bosses yet bit it makes it even funnier to think that everything in this book has probably happened to the author at one point or another. if you need a good laugh and/ or have ever had an awful boss then this book is definitely foryou!

[Hayley · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was expecting more of a collection of stories rather than just sentances and graphs, IMs etc. My favourite was the IMs, and some of the lines were humerous, however some are a bit extreme and you couldn't get away with that in my country, nor would I stand for such behaviour (some are human nature and part of the job but most were unacceptable!)

[Sisters of the Desert Sun · Rating 3 out of 5]

Great read. "To My Assistant: Things I'll Never Do to You, But Many Other Crazy Bosses Will" was funny and engaging. It was comforting to know that others have had challenges in the workplace just like mine. It was also a great reminder to not be a pain in the bottom as one moves up the ladder.

[Lauren · Rating 1 out of 5]

I gave up on this book, just could not get through it. I think it would have been better to have stuck with the blog format for this author. Once the content was compiled into a book, it gets repetitive and boring, and frankly, not that funny.

[Veronica · Rating 1 out of 5]

Being a devotee/junkie of all things celebrity/Hollywood-related, I thought I would really be into this book. I'm sad to say that it was disappointing and a waste of money. Its structure (being written in bullet points, basically) felt lazy and uninspired. Save your time and money on this one.

[Courtney Chappell · Rating 2 out of 5]

I thought this was going to be a more comedic book than it was. I wasn't really into it at all. I liked some of the IM's from hell and graphs, but most of the book I was bored. I think next time, I'll just read the Devil wears Prada instead.

[Cindy Kleback · Rating 3 out of 5]

Amusing with a few true LOL moments.

[Maria · Rating 3 out of 5]

Reads more like a blog with random complaints. They're hilarious (as long as your boss is only half as crazy), but I wish there were some overarching narrative that tied it all together.

[Amber · Rating 2 out of 5]

Wow I don't know I what I would go if my boss asked mr to go half the things in this book. Cute book and a fast read.

[Lauren · Rating 3 out of 5]

Funny and sad. I guess it makes me appreciate how good I had it?

[Megalion · Rating 2 out of 5]

I didn't care for the narrative style at all which made this not funny and not worth continuing to read.

[Princess · Rating 3 out of 5]

For me, this book came at the right time. The words brought laughter, comfort, and hope.

The tips about how to navigate boss-assistant relationships didn't hurt either.

[Bryan · Rating 2 out of 5]

If this book had either been shorter or had included a better developed, more storytelling approach, I would have enjoyed it more. It was funny at times, but got tedious after 50 pages.

[Carissa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fluffy and funny. Made me feel extra grateful for my sane, kind bosses.