WARNING: I’d recommend this as an 18+ book there is a lot of sexual themes in this book and mentions of kinks and fetishes. If your not 18 then uh at least be of age to handle that kind of stuff in a mature context.
Also I’m not a trans man so your welcome to write off my entire review under the gise this book is speaking to trans men and I’m not one so what do I know?
That said. My opinions of this are rather short.
I appreciate the book for what it tried to do and think it’s essential reading for everyone if only to educate people on different prospectives of the trans identity, and for the book having the balls (pun intended.) to not shy away from telling stories of gay men who are proudly and openly sexual.
If I had to give any reasons why I’ve only given it three stars despite the great representation I’d say this.
1.) almost every story but two or three seemed to revolve around Sex, and many stories seemed to just show the characters only having one nightstands with other men. Which I wasn’t into both probably because I’m asexuel but also because after the third story it became predictable we were eventually going to here another story where a trans man saw a penis, or had sex with a straight guy who saw him as a man and felt empowered. Which is great! But from a writing standpoint very Sameish which is odd because at the start of the whole book we’re given a big speech about how each trans man experience is different in the book, but to be honest I don’t think this book showed off the perspective of a single trans man who wasn’t very sexual and where his conflicts didn’t derive from not being safe about his hookups except maybe one story. Honestly it was sad because I don’t even think there’s anything wrong with having sex but so many of these characters were clearly not educated on having sex safe. (Yes I know some of them were abused and safe sex is a two way street I am not blaming them, but I do still feel it’s needed to be pointed out safe sex and communication matter. I mean at point the book even shows a prospective where two guys are talking and one basically says “oh…I’d never disclose I had STDs.“ and maybe it’s cuz it’s the 80s in this book and so there was huge stigma around it, but idk I’d personally rather be stigmatized for disclosing this than putting it onto someone else because I didn’t. Though I will say in the epilogue we do learn this character eventually learned to have safe sex and open communication which amazing 10/10 as it should be.) and I mean I will acknowledge men who go on T do tend to have a higher sex drive and all, and again I do applause the book for bringing it up and not acting like sex is taboo. But still would have been nice to have more stories that didn’t make the love revole solely around pleasure from sex, or that explained it was about the love sex gave instead of the thrill of a one night stand that lead to complications due to neither party communicating healthily. Also ngl I think another risk of showing such a hyper sexual view of trans men is risking making men out to be only as valid as their sex life which can lead to toxic masculinity and like toxic masculinity is a problem many trans men can feel the need to conform to in order to pass so in that regard trans men just know you don’t have to have an active sex life to be valid.
In regards to sex I think Aaron and James probably had the best use of sex in the stories as in the end they both found true love and happiness with each other and got together and married for their love and it was very clear the sex for them was about growing closer and was very passionate and loving instead of a one night stand for thrills between two people who hardly communicated before sex and would never see each other again after.
Also yes I am aware these are all true stories that really happened and not fiction and he was just telling the stories of real people, which again is why it almost saddens me to know so many people had to go through so many bad sexual experiences due to a literal lack of proper communication and lack of understanding of what healthy sexual engagement is, and they had to learn all that through bad sex.
Sex aside, my second issue is as follows
2.) quite simply each story was very fast paced that I don’t feel like I got to sit with many characters stories and it made for choppy writing at points where things would just happen then their would be time skips. And some stories felt like the author only wanted to write the sex so any time something happened outside of the characters sex life it was just a brief mention of “oh yeah character has a life outside of sex but that’s not what we’re here to discuss.” The worst example of this is the story Blake which was so fast paced I felt like large parts of the story had to be written out for privacy sake maybe? I don’t know but it still felt like it jumped over some elements.
Although I don’t want to seem I’m just hating on this story as it did do a lot of things I enjoyed
1.) it offers positive representation of trans people and is essential reading in order to educate yourself on trans males especially since it’s a quick read. Also if it can speak truth and be relatable to trans men regardless of my opinions on it, then great it’s done it’s job and succeeded
2.) I applaud the artist for choosing to make this whole book in black and white yet using a painterly style and markers (I think it’s markers.) to color this. As usually we only see black and white art done when using graphite or in inked/digital manga art, but the art and coloring here is especially rich and painterly and offered many different hues while still being black and white which I appreciated!
3.) Avery’s story! His was probably my ultimate favorite because he was one of very few characters in the book who felt like he knew what he was talking about and was really sensible and well educated and not just rushing into things. He claimed he didn’t mind being misgendered because he didn’t want to make being called a girl into a bad thing. Of course it’s ok to feel bad being misgendered stand up for yourself, but the fact he pointed this out showed incredible kindness and care towards female issues and confidence in his own skin I applaud. Second he said “and I still have ethical concerns about passing as a guy in a system where this confers privileges I didn’t earn.” Which again shows incredibly good jugement towards gender issues and inequality. There’s often a thing mentioned where it’s “trans men go unrepresented compared to trans woman.” And this is true but there is a reason for that. The media will always find it more interesting to see a man who has more power in his gender and is in a position of gender power transition into a female where she will now be in a position of lower power. The media wants to know why anyone would choose to do such a thing. Yet for a woman to transition into a man who will have more power in their gender identity as a man, makes sense, it’s less interesting to the media to see someone want to gain social status by gender. At least in the medias eyes. So to see this acknowledged in some form in the book made me so happy.
Now this isn’t to say, trans men have it easier, absolutely not, but if a trans man CAN pass to a random stranger as 100% a cis man then they hold a position of higher power in their gender because their not as likely to be susceptible to the gender issues woman face, they won’t be looked down or turned into objects or have to worry about sexual abuse, and they’ll be more respected. (Only if they are privileged enough to pass as a man though.)
While in turn anyone identifying as female is going to be susceptible to the disadvantages of a woman if random strangers on the street can view them as such.
So really when the media gives more attention to trans woman it’s usually negative attention, or intended to somehow sexual trans woman and it goes back to the same issues biological woman face that trans woman now have to face too.
And yes trans men have MANY ISSUES too and that should be discussed and given more representation too, and this book is an amazing place to start in that regard. (I am 100% not against ftm rep and even have ftm characters I’m writing I was simply explaining why we see more mtf rep in the media, not defending it.)
Anyways thank you to this book for featuring a trans man who acknowledges these issues and seems to have a good grasp on gender inequality issues as a whole *cheers and claps*
Overall these are my thoughts on the book I think it’s essential reading to educate yourself regardless of it’s flaws and I’m glad it exists and can mean so much to man trans men, it’s just, the sex, well valid and should be destigmatized and normalized just wasn’t my cup of tea, especially as an ace. But other than that I liked this book! Read it if you haven’t in order to stay educated! Also engaging in SAFE SEX and open communication is manly, sexy and hot, not doing so is very unmanly and lame. (Unless you’ve been abused or taken advantage of, in which case, it wasn’t your fault, your not to blame, your valid, and Fuck your abuser.)