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Confessions of a Window Cleaner
It always took longer to clean the inside of the windows
Viv preferred a man with experience.
Dorothy was a little careless with her underclothes.
Mrs. Armstrong provided tea and cake beforehand.
Brenda consumed marshmallows afterwards.
Sandy drew the line at taking her clothes off.
Sonia performed for an audience.
Overwhelmed by the hospitality of his customers, Tim found it increasingly difficult to keep his mind on the job. Soon he longed for the peace and quiet of a steady relationship with his girl friend Elizabeth.
But even the quiet and virginal Elizabeth was full of surprises.
Viv preferred a man with experience.
Dorothy was a little careless with her underclothes.
Mrs. Armstrong provided tea and cake beforehand.
Brenda consumed marshmallows afterwards.
Sandy drew the line at taking her clothes off.
Sonia performed for an audience.
Overwhelmed by the hospitality of his customers, Tim found it increasingly difficult to keep his mind on the job. Soon he longed for the peace and quiet of a steady relationship with his girl friend Elizabeth.
But even the quiet and virginal Elizabeth was full of surprises.
156 pages, Mass Market Paperback
First published January 1, 1971
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Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews
April 22, 2014
Time for a confession. I'm a huge fan of the 1970's British sex comedy. For anyone born in the 1970's there is a good chance that you were conceived after your dad took your mum to see one of these films!
Sure, the films were sexist and film makers knew lots of sex brought the punters in but for many of the films there was more to them than that (not much more mind!). First of all, many established British actors and actresses signed up for these films and often they were actually very funny as well smutty. 'Carry On with tits' was often levelled at these films and that's accurate although not exactly derogatory. The films are criticised but they do have a powerful message for me. Sex is fun and it's supposed to be fun otherwise we wouldn't do it! Give me sex and laughter over porn and erotica any day of the week.
The 'cream' of these films for me were the 'Confessions' films. As a young boy these were the 'dirty' films you heard talk about and although I waited until I was an adult to see them I wasn't disappointed. There was usually an all-star cast and a funny script (you can't beat Robin Askwith and Linda Hayden for me). The 'Confessions' films are still a guilty pleasure for me today.
So, I was browsing through a free bookshop (www.healthyplanet.org) - it's an organisation that saves books destined for landfill and redistributes them for free. I saw this gem, described by the volunteer staff as, 'a fine example of 70's kitsch!'.
In terms of my review I have to be honest - I really wanted to enjoy this. The first few pages had quite a lot of laughs in it and there are some cracking one liners in here. It's a long time since I laughed as much whilst reading a book. During the early laughs I kind of dismissed the casual racism and misogyny. Unfortunately, as I continued to read, the laughs got less and less but the nastiness of the book got more and more. Timmy Lea in this book is a horrible racist, homophobe and has no respect for women. Timmy in the films has a 'cheeky chappie' innocence to him and sure he goes through a lot of women but there's a sense of fun to it. In the book that's not the case. Timmy is violent to women, gets laughs out of attempted sexual violence and the racist and homophobic attitudes are everywhere. If anything this book shows how good the filmmakers where to turn the same story into a funny romp.
There's no plot to speak off - just a succession of shags and I wish I never read this. It gets two stars because I did laugh a fair bit early on but it's not something I'd ever go back to.
Sure, the films were sexist and film makers knew lots of sex brought the punters in but for many of the films there was more to them than that (not much more mind!). First of all, many established British actors and actresses signed up for these films and often they were actually very funny as well smutty. 'Carry On with tits' was often levelled at these films and that's accurate although not exactly derogatory. The films are criticised but they do have a powerful message for me. Sex is fun and it's supposed to be fun otherwise we wouldn't do it! Give me sex and laughter over porn and erotica any day of the week.
The 'cream' of these films for me were the 'Confessions' films. As a young boy these were the 'dirty' films you heard talk about and although I waited until I was an adult to see them I wasn't disappointed. There was usually an all-star cast and a funny script (you can't beat Robin Askwith and Linda Hayden for me). The 'Confessions' films are still a guilty pleasure for me today.
So, I was browsing through a free bookshop (www.healthyplanet.org) - it's an organisation that saves books destined for landfill and redistributes them for free. I saw this gem, described by the volunteer staff as, 'a fine example of 70's kitsch!'.
In terms of my review I have to be honest - I really wanted to enjoy this. The first few pages had quite a lot of laughs in it and there are some cracking one liners in here. It's a long time since I laughed as much whilst reading a book. During the early laughs I kind of dismissed the casual racism and misogyny. Unfortunately, as I continued to read, the laughs got less and less but the nastiness of the book got more and more. Timmy Lea in this book is a horrible racist, homophobe and has no respect for women. Timmy in the films has a 'cheeky chappie' innocence to him and sure he goes through a lot of women but there's a sense of fun to it. In the book that's not the case. Timmy is violent to women, gets laughs out of attempted sexual violence and the racist and homophobic attitudes are everywhere. If anything this book shows how good the filmmakers where to turn the same story into a funny romp.
There's no plot to speak off - just a succession of shags and I wish I never read this. It gets two stars because I did laugh a fair bit early on but it's not something I'd ever go back to.
April 27, 2012
Was passed this book when in form 2 and learned a lot from it. Mainly how not to let a teacher catch you reading a dirty book in class! If you like smut then this is smack bang in your target area.
June 12, 2019
I came to this one being something of a fan of '70s British comedy, with the film adaptation a fitting time capsule of British working class life in the mid-'70s (lest we forget, it was the most popular film at the box office for the year it was released). The film itself is miles better than the book, mainly because the actors are far more charming than the cardboard cut-outs here, and the supporting cast of British character actors is exemplary.
The book is a lesser experience. It's a series of risque sexual escapades, as author/narrator Timothy Lea takes up window cleaning and a little extra on the side too. Written as a comedy, there's plenty of obvious jokes here, but the most overpowering thing of all is just how sexist and racist it is. Things start out fairly sweet, but by the end the racial terms are being bandied about without hesitation, the women are objectified to the nth degree, there's an undercurrent of misogyny and homophobia, and there's even attempted rape scene thrown in. None of this sits well with a modern reader although you could argue that this is all merely a snapshot of social attitudes in the 1970s. I'm glad we live in more enlightened times.
The book is a lesser experience. It's a series of risque sexual escapades, as author/narrator Timothy Lea takes up window cleaning and a little extra on the side too. Written as a comedy, there's plenty of obvious jokes here, but the most overpowering thing of all is just how sexist and racist it is. Things start out fairly sweet, but by the end the racial terms are being bandied about without hesitation, the women are objectified to the nth degree, there's an undercurrent of misogyny and homophobia, and there's even attempted rape scene thrown in. None of this sits well with a modern reader although you could argue that this is all merely a snapshot of social attitudes in the 1970s. I'm glad we live in more enlightened times.
August 23, 2013
Only one book read on my new ebook reader so far and already into low-brow smut! This is the first in the series of ‘confessions’ sex comedy books from the 70's now available electronically for only $3.99 each! Timmy starts off a bumbling virgin but in no time at all masters the many ‘ins and outs’ of the window cleaning business. Cockney slang and cheesy sex scenes with all the usual clichés are present but over 40 years on the rather un-PC humour still delivers laughs and lays aplenty. So many great cheesy phrases that have to be read to be believed! Dead set couldn’t put this one down.
November 18, 2021
Very much a book of its time. In the film, Timothy is a likeble half wit, getting up to harmless adventures with a number of female customers, mostly a good few years his senior. In the book, though, he is a racist, a mysogonist and a homophobe and, in one scene, may even be considered a rapist - a totally unlikeable character in every way. Shan't be reading any more in this series
May 24, 2010
You can probably figure out the main points of the plot if you study the picture carefully. As with Harry Potter, the first book is the best in the series.
December 6, 2013
Rowdy good fun
October 20, 2023
Very much of its time
Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews