The 50 Fridays Marriage Challenge: One Question a Week. One Incredible Marriage.

by Jeff Helton, Helton Lora

Transform your marriage with this revitalizing relationship guide that challenges couples to answer important questions together and grow in mutual understanding.In our modern, fast-paced society, it is easy for couples to drift apart and suddenly find their marriages in need of serious help. If this sounds familiar, then Pastor Jeff Helton and his wife Lora have a challenge for sit down once a week with your spouse to answer a question together. It could be something as simple as “What makes you laugh out loud?” or as deep and challenging as “If you had one day left on earth, what would you say to your spouse?” or “Are you satisfied with our level of physical intimacy?”The 50 Fridays Marriage Challenge is a fun book specifically designed to spark open and honest conversation between partners at any stage of married life. Each short chapter includes an engaging question, a brief message, an encouraging quote, a Bible scripture, and a prayer. The short messages bring hope to rocky marriages by providing a safe, gentle space for discussing important matters, such as communication, conflict, in-laws, finances, children, sex, and much more.By taking the 50 Fridays Marriage Challenge, husbands and wives will find that their Friday evening talks—whether they laugh together, delve deep into the topic at hand, or plan and dream for the future—may be the only time they spend in close conversation that doesn’t involve the kids, the checking account, or who took out the trash. Spend a few precious moments together once a week with this book, and you will ultimately see your marriage transformed.

Genres: Marriage, Relationships, Nonfiction, Self Help

192 pages, Kindle Edition

First published September 3, 2013

Reviews

[Kathleen (Kat) Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

What will your marriage be like on your fiftieth anniversary?

What will we look like? Will there be more wrinkles? A few more pounds? What color hair? Will I even have hair?

If we ever do stop and think about what our marriage will be like at fifty years, we all too often think only about the external - the physical. But the truth is, there's a far more important question to ponder: Should the Lord allow us to make it to fifty years of marriage, what will we be like at our fiftieth anniversary?

In other words... will we finish strong?

Will we be thriving? Or will we be surviving?

Will we be enjoying an intimate and connected marriage? Or will we be two strangers living in the same home?

Will we intentionally be wise in how we spend our days? Or will we foolishly let the months and years pass by?

When we first start out on our marriage adventure, it seems that we have forever ahead of us. And then, life happens. Babies come along. Career paths change. School starts. Finances get tight. And before you know it, life is going faster than you realize.

In the midst of all of this, many couples become passive in their approach to their marriage and wake up one day wondering what went wrong. They operate their marriages in what we call default mode: things happen without planning or intentionality or effort. Instead of default mode, we need a proactive approach for our marriages to grow. There has to be a plan. The old adage is right: Fail to plan, plan to fail.

One of the struggles most couples have is finding the time each week to commit to one another. Many insist that the time isn't there. How much time do you spend, watching television, working extra hours, going to the movies, working on a committee, reading, talking to friends, watching or participating in sports, shopping for fun, doing your favorite hobby, playing on the computer, doing volunteer work, or even attending or running church activities?

If you're looking for a unique challenge that will have you both working on your marriage in making it truly better than you ever dreamed possible, then consider picking up a copy of The 50 Fridays Marriage Challenge by authors Jeff and Lora Helton. The challenge is simple and fun. Each week as a couple, you will spend a few minutes answering one question that has been designed to help you have open and honest conversation as you connect with and enjoy each other. Some weeks you will laugh as you travel down memory lane together. Some weeks you'll be challenged as you evaluate different aspects of your marriage. And other weeks you will dream and plan for what the future can become. The goal of this book is to create a tool for a happy couple to create ongoing closeness, and a newly married couple a unique way to know each other deeply. This novel even adds some bonus challenges geared just for special holidays like Valentine's Day or Christmas.

I received The 50 Fridays Marriage Challenge by Jeff and Lora Helton compliments of Howard Books, a division of Simon and Schuster Publishers for my honest review and did not receive any monetary compensation for a favorable review. Since I am a huge advocate for finding great tools like this book to enhance my own marriage, I can highly recommend this one. Both of us often used the same excuses that would virtually leave us wondering if we would ever have time for us, until our children were grown and out on their own. But we don't have to wait. We can be that perfect role model in our own family for what our children can view as an ideal marriage. This book enables you to reconnect in new ways and the questions are a great eye opener into areas you may never had considered exploring in your marriage. This is a perfect book for newly married couples as well as seasoned veterans like we are. I easily rate this one a 4.5 out of 5 stars and look forward to exploring and enriching my own marriage through the process.

[Laura Langley · Rating 5 out of 5]

In the midst of the busyness of life, authors Jeff and Lora Helton say, "many couples become passive in their approach to marriage and wake up one day wondering what went wrong." In their new book, "The 50 Fridays Marriage Challenge: One Question a Week, One Incredible Marriage," the Heltons encourage couples to quit operating in default mode (without planning and intentionality), and to actively nurture their marriages so they grow and flourish.

The Heltons base their book on Psalm 90:12 which says, "Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." They promote a positive approach to marriage that prioritizes it and sees it as important enough to focus on growth rather than crisis management. The Heltons also promote authentic and vulnerable communication.

And that's where the 50 questions come in. After a short introduction, the book launches into 50 Fridays' worth of short readings and questions on various subjects like:
- growing in intimacy;
- developing shared hobbies;
- improving spiritual intimacy in marriage
- ways of giving and receiving love;
- becoming better listeners;
- making bucket lists;
- discussing finances; and
- remembering what brought them together in the first place.

Each Friday couples read a short chapter, a Scripture verse and an encouraging quote, and then discuss the week's question. For example, in the week focusing on intimacy, each spouse makes a list of things that keep him/her from sharing his/her thoughts, feelings, dreams and desires with the other. Then, as the couple talks through their lists, they identify ways to offer grace and understanding to each other.

At the end of the book, there are even some bonus questions for holidays like Valentine's Day, Palm Sunday, Easter, Thanksgiving, and Christmas.

Maybe you and your spouse have drifted apart and you're looking for a way to reconnect.
Perhaps you'd describe your marriage as good, but you'd like to make it better.
It may be your marriage is on the rocks and you're wanting to make a last ditch effort to save it.

No matter where you find yourselves in your marriage, "The 50 Fridays Marriage Challenge" will help you and your spouse prayerfully transform you marriage. If you and your spouse commit to open, honest communication through these 50 weeks of questions, your marriage is guaranteed to experience growth. Along the way, you're sure to make some memories and have some fun.

* I received a copy of the book from the publisher for this review. However, the opinions expressed in the review are my own.

[Elizabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

This marriage book is written from a Christian perspective. It's based around the theme of keeping the end in mind, and being intentional about improving your marriage instead of passive.

The premise is having a discussion with your spouse every week based on one of the questions in the book. Each question includes a Scripture passage and ends with a quote from a well-known Christian marriage expert.

I haven't gone through this with my husband, but I might. Most of the questions struck me as interesting, and a good way to explore your spouse's feelings and thoughts about topics that hasn't occurred to me. Some of them are just downright fun, like talking about your dream vacation.

The very first challenge involves figuring out how you'll be tackling the challenges - he suggests face-to-face, instead of email, but I know there are some of us that communicate better in print or who are separated for work, etc. This would have been fun and informative while my husband was deployed, for instance. He also suggests weekly, and suggests that maybe right before bed would be a bad idea, which I certainly agree with!

Most of the questions are fairly non-threatening, but there are a few about conflict resolution, listening skills and spiritual growth that might be a problem if a couple is having serious marriage issues. Acutally, some of them would seem to be better answered just to onself, like "How can you improve your listening skills?". Although I can see the advantage of being accountable to your partner, this seems like less of a marriage-building question than a personal growth issue.

Although the book is Christian, the questions could easily be adapted to people of any or no religious faith. Many of the questions are general, rather than religious, with a few exceptions. The Christian references are still going to be there, but they aren't pushy, and there's a great deal of wisdom in the Bible to be had.

I did find it ended rather abruptly, but it's an ARC so that might change. It also didn't really NEED a conclusion, I think that's just my personal preference.

All in all, I enjoyed this, and might see if Hubby is interested in going through some or all of it. I like the idea of continuing this every week, and possibly coming up with our own questions that we'd draw out of a hat or something. With how busy life gets with kids and jobs and family etc, this could be a fun and challenging break in our week. I'd recommend it for people who are looking to improve their marriage rather than people who are really struggling.

[Deborah · Rating 5 out of 5]

The 50 Fridays Marriage Challenge is a practical, once-a-week guide to get you and your spouse communicating on the most intimate level in order to succeed in the institution called marriage. Too often, marriages fall apart because of a lack of communication - not because of things that happen or cannot be controlled. We live in a modern, fast paced world where we have everything we need at our fingertips, and we no longer need others to satisfy our needs. We spend our lives going to work, bouncing from one activity to the next, constantly keeping an eye on our cell phones and devices, and connecting with others through social networks instead of face-to-face communication and quality time. It is too easy to drift apart even if we're sitting right next to each other, and simple things like talking and paying absolute attention to each other is virtually impossible with the trappings and distractions of our little worlds.

So Jeff and Lora are providing a very simple solution to this modern dilemma: one question a week. That's it! Well that and some effort and enthusiasm on your part is wonderful too. Each short chapter begins with a question that you ask your spouse (you probably should rotate who answers first!) then follows a Bible verse or passage, a brief, encouraging message, and a quote that directly applies with the question for that week. It gives you the chance to sit and talk to your spouse about the things that are important: children, in-laws, fiances, hopes, dreams, jobs, and just about everything about your lives together. Two shall become one, and this is a wonderful jump-start for any marriage; one that is starting out, one you've been in for however many years (yes, even if you think your marriage is almost 100% perfect!), or even if you're thinking about getting married. Communication is the key, and it leads to resolution for all those little issues that cause friction, fights, and falling out. A recommended little guide for anyone with a wedding (or engagement ring) on their fingers.

This book was provided by Howard Books for free in exchange for an honest review.

[Brandi (Rambles of a SAHM) · Rating 5 out of 5]

In the introduction of the book Jeff shares that while he and his wife Lora were at the celebration of Lora's parents' fiftieth wedding anniversary he started thinking about what he and Lora would look like at fifty years of marriage. Then that thought transformed from what would they look like to what would they be like. He puts it like this:

"Should the Lord allow us to make it to fifty years of marriage, what will we be like at our fiftieth anniversary?

In other words . . . will we finish strong?

Will we be thriving? Or will we be surviving?

Will we be enjoying an intimate and connected marriage? Or will we be two strangers living in the same home?

Will we intentionally be wise in how we spend our days? Or will we foolishly let the months and years pass by?"

With those thoughts in mind Jeff and Lora then issue you a challenge to spend the next fifty Fridays (or whatever day works for you) focusing on a simple question that you as a couple will spend time discussing. The next fifty chapters cover one challenge a week for married couples. Each week starts with a question that may be something fun like, "If you could spend only ten dollars on a date night, what would you do?" Other questions are more reflective and thought provoking like, "If you had only one day left on earth, what would you say to your spouse?"

The next section has corresponding Scripture followed by a short dialog from Jeff and Lora. Then at the end of that week's challenge is usually a beautiful quotation from a well known personality. At the end of the book is a bonus section that has five additional challenges specifically designed for the holidays of Valentine's Day, Palm Sunday, Good Friday and Easter, Thanksgiving, and Christmas.

I love the concept behind this book. Stronger marriages will make us a stronger people. Not only will our homes be better but as a result our nation will be better. I'm looking forward to going through each week with my spouse and also giving several copies to friends and family. I hope you will join us in this challenge!

I received a copy of this book to facilitate my review.

[Alyssa · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great Christian devotional. Because I was trying to read it in time to review, I didn't get to go through all the questions on a weekly basis with my husband like the book suggests. I read through it straight, but will definitely be going back to share with Hubby all my highlights!

The idea is to share and read one short devotional a week. Pick a day and a time to set aside to converse and connect with your spouse. There are 50 questions/challenges, so technically it would take you 50 weeks to complete. While that might seem overwhelming it really isn't. That is five or ten minutes a week! I hope you would consider your spouse worth that time...or you might want to be looking for other marriage counselling books...

The devotions themselves are short. Each challenge opens with a question or challenge, then a Bible verse, the devotion, and then a quote. The devotions aren't just stories from the author's lives like so many other books, but offer a lot of practical lists and ideas. This ALWAYS hooks me. I am a gal who NEEDS PRACTICAL advice!

I went over a few with Hubby on a 2 hour car trip. He didn't seem to mind them, which for him says a lot about how good the book actually is. He thought they were the perfect length. The challenges we covered seemed to be not too 'hard' and not too 'easy'. Some of the challenges I read through myself were 'meh' compared to some of the 'better' challenges. I found myself disappointed in those ones. I think the authors set themselves up for a lot of awesomeness and so it really hit me when I came across one that wasn't as helpful.

I would recommend this book to all my married friends!! It is a fantastic way to spend time focusing on your spouse each week.

--received a copy for review from the publisher via Netgalley!!

[Lys · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received a copy of this book free from netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

First of all, it's important for me to mention that A) I am not a Christian and B) the author of this book is.

Now, that is not a problem for me. I've read and enjoyed many books from Christian authors (and other religions as well). However, it did mean that some of the suggested activities in the book were not ones that I would be likely to engage in.

When I requested the book, I did not know if the 50 "questions" would involve the idea of a Christian marriage. Many of the questions did, but also many did not. There was quite a bit of good advice. I've only been married for a few years, and many of the questions were things I had never considered talking to my husband about. I can see where utilizing this book in marriage could lead to a greater closeness between partners and a deeper understanding of what marriage means to each of the involved parties.

And I think that many of the questions that are "Christian" in nature were sensitive to the possibility of non-Christian readers. "Spiritual health" is something many people can be interested in.

Another enjoyable aspect of the book was the writer's personal anecdotes - knowing the struggles of marriage for other couples might provide comfort for those seeking assistance through the use of this book. And Pastor Helton is a good storyteller.

[Sara Thompson]

I can't give this book a good rating. It's just not the book for me. I get that it's one question a week to improve your marriage. When I first saw it I was excited but after reading through part of it, I realized that it just wouldn't work for my marriage. I was hoping for some activities, I guess. Looking at the questions, I just knew it was not something my husband would engage in. I have a hard time getting him to give me his opinion on anything. To get him to define parts of our marriage would be painful. It would leave me feeling less of a partner in the marriage which is counter-productive to the book. I can't see us making it through the first week, let alone 50 weeks.
It's also a little religious. That's fine, we're people who are active in our church but I just don't think all relationships can be fixed with a Bible quote. I wanted something more. I want something that helps my husband actually listen to me and engage in a real conversation. This just won't be that book.

[Lyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic! Realistic and Full of Encouragement.
After reviewing this book I decided to take the challenge. It was a fun to present the idea to my husband. After joking and teasing about the idea – we started! We have enjoyed the weekly challenges. Some challenges are easier than others to complete. We are appreciating the commitment of the Challenge of setting time aside for the two of us to work on our marriage relationship. The scriptures are relevant to the Challenge. The side notes from the Heltons are encouraging. What will your marriage look like on your 50th wedding anniversary? The 50 Fridays Marriage Challenge will help you grow together so that the celebration starts today! This book would be a heartfelt gift for any couple in your life. Enjoy! NetGalley and Howard Books provided an advanced review copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Jewel · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a good book for all couples to get to know each other better.

[Jerri · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent.