You Said What?

by Kim Zoller, Kerry Preston

The biggest communication mistakes professionals make.

Genres: Business, Nonfiction

121 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2012

Reviews

[Anil Swarup · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quite a remarkable book on communication. The focus in the book is on understanding why communications go wrong and how can such wrongs be corrected. The language is simple and what has been suggest eminently do-able

[Sasha Sproch · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book reads like a summary of itself. Written almost entirely in bullet point format, it's basically a long list of trite, oft-repeated, generic advice. The anecdotes and examples used to demonstrate why or how to follow the advice feel contrived, and no convincing arguments are given for anything. The authors seem to depend on the self-evident nature of the advice, which basically boils down to, "Pay attention, work hard, and consistently act in the ways you want to be perceived." All good things to do, but we already knew that. I can think of two ways this book can be useful: as a ToDo list, or to frame conversations among a group of people you trust so that you can all choose something to work on. You can find such lists anywhere on the internet, so there is no reason to get this book in particular.

[J Crossley · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book helpful regarding presenting yourself to others. The authors explain that your personal brand is the product of your verbal and nonverbal communication. By making simple adjustments in your appearance, body language, and conversational mannerisms, you can greatly improve how other people you. Make sure that you do not interrupt or talk too much as this shows that you are not a good communicator. Be sure to remain calm in your interactions. Also, make sure to focus on solutions rather than complaining.

A huge issue is that there are communication gaps all the time. This is the difference between what you think you said and what the listener actually heard. If your words and actions do not convey your intended message, take that as a warning.

I found the section on the 16 most common communication blunders eye-opening.

1. Not being on you’re A-Game—Keep a positive mind-set and a can-do attitude. Regulate your response when things outside of your control go wrong.
2. Not Beginning with the End in Mind—Think before your speak so that you don’t sabotage yourself.
3. Not Knowing Your Personal Brand—Support your personal brand with your communication, appearance, and attitude. Adapt your brand to fit into your setting, yet remain authentic to yourself.
4. Not Managing Perceptions—Ask people you trust for objective feedback to improve your self-perception.
5. Not Connecting and Building Relationships—What other people say about you carries more weight than anything you say about yourself. Make sure that you present yourself well.
6. Not Making Appropriate Small Talk—Small talk can start an conversation and get people warmed-up.
7. Meltdown of Communication Through Technology Use—Technology cannot communicate the nuances of in-person communication. Consider using other methods to communicate messages that may be misinterpreted.
8. Not Managing Your Social Networking—Make sure to keep your profile current and professional.
9. Lack of Awareness of Communication Stallers and Stoppers—You want people to work with you, so be sure to eliminate behaviors that discourage teamwork.
10. Making Assumptions—This is a big issue because people evaluate incoming information based on their prior experiences. However, this can cause problems. Keep your mind open to alternative solutions and outcomes, and don’t jump to conclusions.
11. Not Focusing on the Details—Be aware of the “little things.” Small mistakes can cause huge consequences. Follow deadlines. Send thank-you notes.
12. Not Giving and Receiving Precise Feedback—You should have a plan for the feedback session to avoid awkward situations. Be specific.
13. Not Adapting to Different Communication Styles—Modify your style to align with other people. This will help you to build relationships and communicate better.
14. Not Reacting Professionally—Learn your triggers so that you can control them and not react emotionally.
15. Bloopers and Blunders—Doing and saying the wrong thing can cause a negative interaction. Be respectful to everyone.
16. Not Communicating Value—Each action shows your value and reinforces your personal brand. Be certain to choose behaviors that boost your value. Some things that you can do to boost your value is to exceed expectations, be consistent, fulfill your promises, and support other people.

I really got a lot out of this book. It provided a great deal of information to improve communication so that mistakes do not happen as frequently.

[Harold Cameron · Rating 5 out of 5]

"The Biggest Communication Mistakes Professionals Make"

"Over the past two decades, we've continued to reach out to business professionals, employees and the media through the written word - and always with an emphasis on communicating practical, real-world ideas. Our follow-up book delves deeper into the world of effective communication, leadership, and the art of persuasion." (From the Image Dynamics Company Website).

About the Authors:
Kim Zoller founded Image Dynamics in 1992. Since that time, she has established a proven track record of success at helping companies and organizations achieve practical, measurable and substantial results through better training and more effective communication. Under Kim's direction, Image Dynamics has grown to become a comprehensive training and development resource that forward-thinking companies turn to for guidance, advice and expertise.

Kim's hands-on involvement has helped bring measurable and meaningful change to such notable clients such as Mattel, Southwest Airlines, Johnson & Johnson, Federal Reserve Bank of Dallas, American Airlines, Citigroup and Texas Instruments, to name a few.

Kim frequently contributes to various undergraduate and MBA & law school programs at Columbia, UT, SMU and TCU. Kim and Kerry co-authored "You Did What? The Biggest Mistakes Professionals Make," which is now in its fifth edition. The second book in the series, entitled "You Said What?" was release in the Fall of 2011.

Kerry Preston, Partner in Image Dynamics, has a two-decade track record of building highly customized training programs that employ experiential learning tactics which ensure one thing: measurable results.

With an outcome-driven approach, predicated on Kerry and her team's ability to truly understand the unique objectives of their clients, Image Dynamics' clients emerge with people who are better developed leaders, more effective communicators and stronger presenters. It's impossible not to be engaged and motivated to create and think with her. Kerry is a natural communicator and has a strong sense of self-awareness. She tunes in to her surroundings in a way that is very powerful when you are working in a learning environment. Her personal style and real life anecdotes leave lasting messages.

Kerry's hands-on involvement has helped bring measurable and meaningful change to such notable clients as Credit Suisse, Moet Hennessy, GfK Healthcare, Merck, Johnson & Johnson, and Prudential Fox Roach, to name a few.

Kerry brings 20-plus years of sales and training experience to the firm. Prior to becoming a partner at Image Dynamics, she spent 10 years with Calvin Klein Cosmetics. With Kim Zoller, Kerry is the co-author of "You Did What? The Biggest Mistakes Professionals Make," which is now in its fifth edition, along with the second book in the series, entitled "You Said What?," released in Fall 2011.

My thoughts about the book: In our world overall there are things you just don't do or say and when you do there are always undesirable consequences. Authors Kim Zoller and Kerry Preston in their book opens the door into the particular world of effective and powerful communication focusing on 16 key communication mistakes that professionals and people make in general that sabotage our opportunities for success whether in the business world or in our personal lives. And I think that just about anyone who reads the book wherever they are in life will see themselves and the errors they make in how they communicate or don't do so effectively with others.

In the introduction of their book authors Zoller and Preston share the answers provided to them by over 5000 participants in their communication seminars about the greatest "hindrances or barriers" to effective communications with others. The answers given by the respondents such as "unclear direction," "poor planning," "poor listening skills," "emotion," "lack of preparation" "poor attitude," "lack of trust" and others are all things that many of us are guilty of, need to be more aware of and change. And the good news is that almost all of the hindrances listed are things we can all change with some forethought and practice...after all practice makes perfect, or if not perfect at least better.

The 16 mistakes are pretty much common ones made by everyone at some point in time in their lives or careers; however, with our frenetic pace of life we don't take the time to stop and think anymore about what we are saying or doing that might be standing in the way of our success. You said What? offers us a most useful and perceptive look at the mistakes we make and suggestions as to how to correct them referred to as "Best Practices."

Some of the most common mistakes include, "Not Being on our A-Game," that is our not being on top of whatever it is we want to communicate and accomplish being unprepared and negative. And this is an important one because as Lee Iacocca is quoted as saying in the book, "You can have brilliant ideas, but if you can't get them across, your ideas won't get you anywhere." So, attitude and preparedness are essential in effective communications. Another common mistake is "Not Connecting and Building Relationships." In this chapter you learn what not to do but also steps you can take to improve your skills in the realm of "Building Bridges," "Networking, and developing your personal "Elevator Speech," which is a very brief captivating introduction of who you are and what you do to arrest the other person's attention. This chapter is very practical and can help you immensely. Two mistakes I have battled with but am doing much better at is "Meltdown of Communication Through Technology Use," and "Not Managing Your (My) Social Media." I have BEEN there and DONE that when it comes to the mistakes of not effectively communicating through the means of technology on such Social Media platforms as Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, YouTube and Blogging." Experience has been a real teacher and game changer for me but it would have saved me a lot of unnecessary grief if only I had read this book early on and applied what they suggest to my Social Media efforts. And the authors are not attempting to teach manipulation or deception in how and what we communicate with others to get the results we desire. Rather, they are reminding us to treat and communicate with others in the same ways we as humans all like to be.

All in all the book contains 16 major different mistakes people make (the biggies)...16 mistakes to be avoided at all cost if possible along with "Best Practices" to follow to improve our personal and communication skills thereby enabling us to be more successful in every area of our lives.

If you communicate in one way or another with other people, and I'm sure you do, then this book is a "MUST READ" for you and as you read it to evaluate how effectively you communicate and then make any necessary changes so you can be more efficient in your communications with others leading you to more fulfillment and success in both your personal and work life.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received the book at no cost from the Brown Books Publishing Group Company for review purposes. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."

[Evan Þ. · Rating 1 out of 5]

This's a book on communicating and making a good impression at work. It has many good tips, from thinking through other people's preferred communication styles to always being conscious of how negative words will be taken. However, all of them are given in a very abbreviated fashion. The book is almost just a list.

So, it leaves me reminded of these principles. But, I've been reminded of them before; none of them is new to me. Nothing sticks with me in a manner which motivates me to apply it any more than before.

[Cavak · Rating 2 out of 5]

To me, the authors subtly diminish one's confidence for conformity and repeat commonsense advice that may or may not stick with a person. A somewhat typical corporate book. Not a terrible read, but not one that I think excels for real-life application.

Occasionally it does include amusing anecdotes from anonymous executives. That entertained me, especially whenever I thought the advice was a little lackluster.

[7kate9 · Rating 3 out of 5]

The information was a good reminder of mostly obvious information. I think it was worth reading just to refresh my brain a little though.

One thing from the book that I had never thought of before pertains to having a conversation with a specific goal planned ahead of time- I often plan the goal in my head and end up getting off track in conversations, but when I specifically write down the goals of communication, I am more efficient, so thanks, Kim and Kerry, for that tip! :-)

[Nadim Asrof · Rating 1 out of 5]

good for those into communication skills,not for introverts like me 😂

[Andy · Rating 2 out of 5]

If you ever wished for a book that was all bullet points and cartoons and no paragraphs, you need to check this book out. It's not all the way to your utopian dream, but it's more than half-way there.

[Christine · Rating 3 out of 5]

Quick and to the point. I like how the chapters end with critical questions to ask yourself that summarize the lessons learned. The goal setting chapter at the very end is super useful as well.

[Richard Gombert · Rating 1 out of 5]

More pseudo psychology claptrap.