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Substitute Lover
Gray Chalmers needed Stephanie to pose as his lover to help him resist the attractions of a beautiful but married woman. Gray knew Stephanie, knew she didn't even like being touched. Yet he insisted she return to play the part of the femme fatale.
Gray had never pried into the bitter marriage Stephanie had endured to his cousin. He'd offered only comfort in the ten years since its tragic ending. So Stephanie agreed to his demand, only to find her long buried feelings--and her body's dormant desires--fully awakened...
Gray had never pried into the bitter marriage Stephanie had endured to his cousin. He'd offered only comfort in the ten years since its tragic ending. So Stephanie agreed to his demand, only to find her long buried feelings--and her body's dormant desires--fully awakened...
187 pages, Paperback
First published August 1, 1987
17 people are currently reading
211 people want to read
About the author
Penny Jordan
1,125 books666 followersPenelope Jones Halsall
aka Caroline Courtney, Annie Groves, Lydia Hitchcock, Melinda Wright
Penelope "Penny" Jones was born on November 24, 1946 at about seven pounds in a nursing home in Preston, Lancashire, England. She was the first child of Anthony Winn Jones, an engineer, who died at 85, and his wife Margaret Louise Groves Jones. She has a brother, Anthony, and a sister, Prudence "Pru".
She had been a keen reader from the childhood - her mother used to leave her in the children's section of their local library whilst she changed her father's library books. She was a storyteller long before she began to write romantic fiction. At the age of eight, she was creating serialized bedtime stories, featuring make-believe adventures, for her younger sister Prue, who was always the heroine. At eleven, she fell in love with Mills & Boon, and with their heroes. In those days the books could only be obtained via private lending libraries, and she quickly became a devoted fan; she was thrilled to bits when the books went on full sale in shops and she could have them for keeps.
Penny left grammar school in Rochdale with O-Levels in English Language, English Literature and Geography. She first discovered Mills & Boon books, via a girl she worked with. She married Steve Halsall, an accountant and a "lovely man", who smoked and drank too heavily, and suffered oral cancer with bravery and dignity. Her husband bought her the small electric typewriter on which she typed her first novels, at a time when he could ill afford it. He died at the beginning of 21st century.
She earned a living as a writer since the 1970s when, as a shorthand typist, she entered a competition run by the Romantic Novelists' Association. Although she didn't win, Penny found an agent who was looking for a new Georgette Heyer. She published four regency novels as Caroline Courtney, before changing her nom de plume to Melinda Wright for three air-hostess romps and then she wrote two thrillers as Lydia Hitchcock. Soon after that, Mills and Boon accepted her first novel for them, Falcon's Prey as Penny Jordan. However, for her more historical romance novels, she adopted her mother's maiden-name to become Annie Groves. Almost 70 of her 167 Mills and Boon novels have been sold worldwide.
Penny Halsall lived in a neo-Georgian house in Nantwich, Cheshire, with her Alsatian Sheba and cat Posh. She worked from home, in her kitchen, surrounded by her pets, and welcomed interruptions from her friends and family.
aka Caroline Courtney, Annie Groves, Lydia Hitchcock, Melinda Wright
Penelope "Penny" Jones was born on November 24, 1946 at about seven pounds in a nursing home in Preston, Lancashire, England. She was the first child of Anthony Winn Jones, an engineer, who died at 85, and his wife Margaret Louise Groves Jones. She has a brother, Anthony, and a sister, Prudence "Pru".
She had been a keen reader from the childhood - her mother used to leave her in the children's section of their local library whilst she changed her father's library books. She was a storyteller long before she began to write romantic fiction. At the age of eight, she was creating serialized bedtime stories, featuring make-believe adventures, for her younger sister Prue, who was always the heroine. At eleven, she fell in love with Mills & Boon, and with their heroes. In those days the books could only be obtained via private lending libraries, and she quickly became a devoted fan; she was thrilled to bits when the books went on full sale in shops and she could have them for keeps.
Penny left grammar school in Rochdale with O-Levels in English Language, English Literature and Geography. She first discovered Mills & Boon books, via a girl she worked with. She married Steve Halsall, an accountant and a "lovely man", who smoked and drank too heavily, and suffered oral cancer with bravery and dignity. Her husband bought her the small electric typewriter on which she typed her first novels, at a time when he could ill afford it. He died at the beginning of 21st century.
She earned a living as a writer since the 1970s when, as a shorthand typist, she entered a competition run by the Romantic Novelists' Association. Although she didn't win, Penny found an agent who was looking for a new Georgette Heyer. She published four regency novels as Caroline Courtney, before changing her nom de plume to Melinda Wright for three air-hostess romps and then she wrote two thrillers as Lydia Hitchcock. Soon after that, Mills and Boon accepted her first novel for them, Falcon's Prey as Penny Jordan. However, for her more historical romance novels, she adopted her mother's maiden-name to become Annie Groves. Almost 70 of her 167 Mills and Boon novels have been sold worldwide.
Penny Halsall lived in a neo-Georgian house in Nantwich, Cheshire, with her Alsatian Sheba and cat Posh. She worked from home, in her kitchen, surrounded by her pets, and welcomed interruptions from her friends and family.
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Displaying 1 - 28 of 28 reviews
October 2, 2017
Stephanie (who’s 28) and Gray (34) have been friends for many years. But, unknown to Stephanie, Gray has been madly in love with her all this time. (Stephanie married Gray’s cousin, Paul, ten years ago. Paul ended up dying in a boat accident when he was swept overboard after he went out in dangerous weather.) Gray persuades Stephanie to come back to the village (she now lives in London) to temporarily help him out with the boatyard business. He has designed a new boat that he wants to run in a race and he needs someone to watch over the business while he is doing this. Stephanie reluctantly agrees. While Stephanie is there she is finding herself very attracted to Gray, which surprises her since she is off men after Paul.
Stephanie was in an abusive marriage with Paul. He hit her, he was hot-headed and temperamental. He only showed this side of himself after they married. No one else knew because Stephanie never told anybody. Paul said she was sexless and frigid and he eventually went out to find other women to satisfy him. Paul also disliked his cousin Gray. Gray’s parents died when he was 14 so he was brought up by Paul’s family. Paul noticed Gray’s interest in Stephanie all those years ago so he decided he had to have her for himself. Now Stephanie is off men, she thinks she’s sexless, and that she drove Paul to his death (they argued before his boating accident.)
I really loved this book. This is my favorite kind of storyline. I love stories when the hero is crazy about the heroine (this only works, though, with a good heroine). Gray was sweet, sexy, and thoughtful. He always stood by Stephanie, was always there for her. He had no idea what really went on in Stephanie’s marriage to selfish Paul. I enjoyed getting Gray's point-of-view at times. I also liked Stephanie. (I find Penny Jordan's heroines very likable.) She was sweet and naïve. Everyone seemed to know how Gray felt about her but Stephanie was clueless.
This book had some great sexual tension. It took awhile for them to finally make love so the tension kept building up. I also liked the boatyard setting.
Another lovely and romantic read by Penny Jordan.
Stephanie was in an abusive marriage with Paul. He hit her, he was hot-headed and temperamental. He only showed this side of himself after they married. No one else knew because Stephanie never told anybody. Paul said she was sexless and frigid and he eventually went out to find other women to satisfy him. Paul also disliked his cousin Gray. Gray’s parents died when he was 14 so he was brought up by Paul’s family. Paul noticed Gray’s interest in Stephanie all those years ago so he decided he had to have her for himself. Now Stephanie is off men, she thinks she’s sexless, and that she drove Paul to his death (they argued before his boating accident.)
I really loved this book. This is my favorite kind of storyline. I love stories when the hero is crazy about the heroine (this only works, though, with a good heroine). Gray was sweet, sexy, and thoughtful. He always stood by Stephanie, was always there for her. He had no idea what really went on in Stephanie’s marriage to selfish Paul. I enjoyed getting Gray's point-of-view at times. I also liked Stephanie. (I find Penny Jordan's heroines very likable.) She was sweet and naïve. Everyone seemed to know how Gray felt about her but Stephanie was clueless.
This book had some great sexual tension. It took awhile for them to finally make love so the tension kept building up. I also liked the boatyard setting.
Another lovely and romantic read by Penny Jordan.
October 18, 2016
Re Substitute Lover - PJ is back with possibly the most beta H ever or more likely, given his ten years of near celibacy because of unrequited love for the h, the most lacking in blood flow to his thinking head due to it all pooling downwards and causing serious mental impairment.
(I liked this H for the most part, he was sorta ineffectually sweet in his little lovelorn kinda way, so I really don't want to call him an utter idiot, but srsly he kinda was - fortunately high IQ isn't required in a PJ beta H, just an immense capacity for unrequited love and a ton of patient waiting.)
The story starts with the H asking the h to return to his and the h's dead husband's boat yard and run it while he and his wealthy investor design a new, really fast single person sailing yacht to help keep the boatyard afloat financially. The H plans to race his new super speed yacht in a dangerous race that if he wins, will bring lots of new orders in. The h doesn't want to go there, she lives in London and has since her husband died 10 years earlier. It was a whirlwind marriage when she was 18 and the husband swept her off her feet and then turned into a womanizing wife abuser during the honeymoon. The man tried to kill her rather than let her get a divorce and the h was so ashamed that she hid his abuse and believed the snail snot when he told her she was not a complete woman and she was frigid.
The H has been in love with the h for all these years. He actually met the h first when she was 17, but the dead guy got involved and managed to crowd the H out when he did not move fast enough. The bad guy got the girl and when he died during a storm while sailing his yacht, the h was too ashamed to tell anyone how he abused her. So the H thinks the h has been mourning the meany for ten years. The h will have to live with him in his cottage while the boat is being developed, so the H thinks this might be a chance to woo the h and win her heart.
Except when he runs around with no clothes on, the h just blushes but she doesn't seem to be ripping off her own. At a bit of a loss, since his manly charms are not winning the get the h naked sweepstakes for him, he hits upon the notion of claiming his investor's wife is romantically interested in him when the h accuses of him of having an affair with her. The h now has to save him from himself and promises to act as his very close companion to drive the OW off.
The H and h begin to live together and there are little dates and close moments together to dissuade the OW, (who the h would really like if she wasn't a brazen hussy trying to keep two men on a line at once.) After a scary sailing experience where the h has a bit of a PTSD flashback to the dead snail snot hubby, the H doses the h up with some sailor's rum and the whole sad truth of the h's marriage comes out. The h won't let the H go in a fit of alcoholic bliss and the inevitable lurve clubbing moment finally happens.
But the next morning the OW is there on the phone inviting the H and h to dinner and the h thinks that the H is rejecting her in favor of his real love. So mopey jealous moments are abounding, cause the H thinks he isn't getting anywhere with the h, and that she was just using him as a snail snot exorcist. The h thinks he likes the other lady more as the woman keeps inviting them to things which the h thinks are excuses to spend time with the H (right in front of the OW's hubby too, the shameless tart,) and there is a big make or break race with the new yacht coming up.
To be fair, the H does try to explain to the h that she is wrong about him and the OW, but the h is having a temper tantrum and doesn't want to talk about ANYTHING - so the H is back to suffering longing again and the brain cells of both of them continue to dwindle. Tho the H does appreciate the h's really hot undies she wears under her pre-yacht race party dress when she can't do up the zip - flashbacks of the vision of those undies inspires him to hang on to his hope for the h.
Finally the boat race begins and the h is in mortal agony with worrying, even more so when there is a report that the H's yacht has foundered and the h is convinced he is dead. She wanders around the beaches for hours and finally trails into the H's cottage, a wringing wet little waif full of woe and sadness. Then she sees the H standing there and almost passes out, the H explains that the news reports got it wrong, some other guy's yacht foundered and the H stopped to rescue him and lost the race. But losing doesn't matter cause the H is a hero and the new yacht was awesome enough that he would have won if he hadn't been a good sport and orders are pouring in. The H and h reunite in a fury of passion and the resulting union of two bodies is EPIC. Then the h wakes up the next morning to the H telling her he is going to see the OW - the h feels utterly rejected now and packs herself up to leave the H forever.
She is driving away when the OW chases her down in her car and spends several hours trying to convince the h that she and the H were never lovers, he was just trying to interest the h and so the OW agreed to pretend - then she tells the h that the H loves only her and gets the h to go back. The h goes back to the cottage to find the H sorta drunk and passed out on the couch and the h wakes him up with a big vow of lurve. The H is ecstatic and starts planning the wedding right away cause he has loved her forever. The two happily resume the couch cuddles and plotting toning wedding colors for the big HEA.
This is a sweet book, which is good cause I wasn't sure the H and h had a whole brain cell between them. The OW was pretty much a gift of divine intervention cause she was a lot smarter than both of them put together - plus the OW did really love her hubby so it wasn't like she was evil. So while the intelligence of this h and H's future progeny is srsly in doubt, there is no doubt they were massively in love with each other. Plus the H gets huge allowances for waiting around celibately for years, which makes this one perfect for those that like the celibate H or PJ fan girls in HPlandia.
(I liked this H for the most part, he was sorta ineffectually sweet in his little lovelorn kinda way, so I really don't want to call him an utter idiot, but srsly he kinda was - fortunately high IQ isn't required in a PJ beta H, just an immense capacity for unrequited love and a ton of patient waiting.)
The story starts with the H asking the h to return to his and the h's dead husband's boat yard and run it while he and his wealthy investor design a new, really fast single person sailing yacht to help keep the boatyard afloat financially. The H plans to race his new super speed yacht in a dangerous race that if he wins, will bring lots of new orders in. The h doesn't want to go there, she lives in London and has since her husband died 10 years earlier. It was a whirlwind marriage when she was 18 and the husband swept her off her feet and then turned into a womanizing wife abuser during the honeymoon. The man tried to kill her rather than let her get a divorce and the h was so ashamed that she hid his abuse and believed the snail snot when he told her she was not a complete woman and she was frigid.
The H has been in love with the h for all these years. He actually met the h first when she was 17, but the dead guy got involved and managed to crowd the H out when he did not move fast enough. The bad guy got the girl and when he died during a storm while sailing his yacht, the h was too ashamed to tell anyone how he abused her. So the H thinks the h has been mourning the meany for ten years. The h will have to live with him in his cottage while the boat is being developed, so the H thinks this might be a chance to woo the h and win her heart.
Except when he runs around with no clothes on, the h just blushes but she doesn't seem to be ripping off her own. At a bit of a loss, since his manly charms are not winning the get the h naked sweepstakes for him, he hits upon the notion of claiming his investor's wife is romantically interested in him when the h accuses of him of having an affair with her. The h now has to save him from himself and promises to act as his very close companion to drive the OW off.
The H and h begin to live together and there are little dates and close moments together to dissuade the OW, (who the h would really like if she wasn't a brazen hussy trying to keep two men on a line at once.) After a scary sailing experience where the h has a bit of a PTSD flashback to the dead snail snot hubby, the H doses the h up with some sailor's rum and the whole sad truth of the h's marriage comes out. The h won't let the H go in a fit of alcoholic bliss and the inevitable lurve clubbing moment finally happens.
But the next morning the OW is there on the phone inviting the H and h to dinner and the h thinks that the H is rejecting her in favor of his real love. So mopey jealous moments are abounding, cause the H thinks he isn't getting anywhere with the h, and that she was just using him as a snail snot exorcist. The h thinks he likes the other lady more as the woman keeps inviting them to things which the h thinks are excuses to spend time with the H (right in front of the OW's hubby too, the shameless tart,) and there is a big make or break race with the new yacht coming up.
To be fair, the H does try to explain to the h that she is wrong about him and the OW, but the h is having a temper tantrum and doesn't want to talk about ANYTHING - so the H is back to suffering longing again and the brain cells of both of them continue to dwindle. Tho the H does appreciate the h's really hot undies she wears under her pre-yacht race party dress when she can't do up the zip - flashbacks of the vision of those undies inspires him to hang on to his hope for the h.
Finally the boat race begins and the h is in mortal agony with worrying, even more so when there is a report that the H's yacht has foundered and the h is convinced he is dead. She wanders around the beaches for hours and finally trails into the H's cottage, a wringing wet little waif full of woe and sadness. Then she sees the H standing there and almost passes out, the H explains that the news reports got it wrong, some other guy's yacht foundered and the H stopped to rescue him and lost the race. But losing doesn't matter cause the H is a hero and the new yacht was awesome enough that he would have won if he hadn't been a good sport and orders are pouring in. The H and h reunite in a fury of passion and the resulting union of two bodies is EPIC. Then the h wakes up the next morning to the H telling her he is going to see the OW - the h feels utterly rejected now and packs herself up to leave the H forever.
She is driving away when the OW chases her down in her car and spends several hours trying to convince the h that she and the H were never lovers, he was just trying to interest the h and so the OW agreed to pretend - then she tells the h that the H loves only her and gets the h to go back. The h goes back to the cottage to find the H sorta drunk and passed out on the couch and the h wakes him up with a big vow of lurve. The H is ecstatic and starts planning the wedding right away cause he has loved her forever. The two happily resume the couch cuddles and plotting toning wedding colors for the big HEA.
This is a sweet book, which is good cause I wasn't sure the H and h had a whole brain cell between them. The OW was pretty much a gift of divine intervention cause she was a lot smarter than both of them put together - plus the OW did really love her hubby so it wasn't like she was evil. So while the intelligence of this h and H's future progeny is srsly in doubt, there is no doubt they were massively in love with each other. Plus the H gets huge allowances for waiting around celibately for years, which makes this one perfect for those that like the celibate H or PJ fan girls in HPlandia.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 5, 2016
The hero, Gray, had loved Stephanie, the heroine, for years but she married his cousin. It was a disastrous marriage. Her husband abused her and after he died the heroine avoided men and relationships. The hero thinks she is still mourning her asshole husband but she is in fact afraid of men. When Stephanie believes Gray is having an affair with a married woman she realizes she is in love with Grey but she doesn't dare confess her feelings.
Delicious angst and sexual tension! Penny Jordan was such a great author!!
Delicious angst and sexual tension! Penny Jordan was such a great author!!
March 20, 2020
Awww - no one writes a torch-carrying hero like Penny Jordan. There were a few instances of the hero's pov, but any reader could see he was in pain from unrequited love. *happy sigh*
Widowed heroine was a bundle of neuroses from her abusive first marriage, so it's good the "OW" is a psychiatrist and will be close by to sort her out from time to time.
Because the plot was a series of misunderstandings - hero thought she was in love with his dead cousin (her abusive ex) and heroine thought he was in love with the OW - your enjoyment of the story will depend on how much patience you have for that trope.
Lots of good reviews below if you need more info!
Widowed heroine was a bundle of neuroses from her abusive first marriage, so it's good the "OW" is a psychiatrist and will be close by to sort her out from time to time.
Because the plot was a series of misunderstandings - hero thought she was in love with his dead cousin (her abusive ex) and heroine thought he was in love with the OW - your enjoyment of the story will depend on how much patience you have for that trope.
Lots of good reviews below if you need more info!
March 20, 2018
Wonderful,sizzling,intruging and Mindblowing with a smitten hero who fights for the tortured heroine.
Gray Chalmers and Stephanie`s love-story are a mindblowing one.I love their friendship and partnership,and i could see from the start that Gray was secretly in love with her.But thinking she still mourns for her dead husband,his cousin..we can see how he deeply hates it as he always hated his cousin.
It was finally time for our heroine Stephanie to draw herself out of her hidden self,and let the passionate and lively woman out.Love how she becomes when she falls in love with her hero,Gray.Penny Jordan always have delicious heroes,and while we know that her heroes are always brooding Alpha-males,Gray Chalmers was very gentle and nice,but he of course had a rough side of him that could show aggressiveness because of hurt and jealousy,and that was one thing,hero and heroine in his one always hurt each other without the other knowing it.
Penny Jordan are one of my favourite authors,and "Substitute Lover" are one i totally fell in love with.The cover to this book somehow reminds me of the cover of "Forgotten Lover" by Carole Mortimer..
Gray Chalmers and Stephanie`s love-story are a mindblowing one.I love their friendship and partnership,and i could see from the start that Gray was secretly in love with her.But thinking she still mourns for her dead husband,his cousin..we can see how he deeply hates it as he always hated his cousin.
It was finally time for our heroine Stephanie to draw herself out of her hidden self,and let the passionate and lively woman out.Love how she becomes when she falls in love with her hero,Gray.Penny Jordan always have delicious heroes,and while we know that her heroes are always brooding Alpha-males,Gray Chalmers was very gentle and nice,but he of course had a rough side of him that could show aggressiveness because of hurt and jealousy,and that was one thing,hero and heroine in his one always hurt each other without the other knowing it.
Penny Jordan are one of my favourite authors,and "Substitute Lover" are one i totally fell in love with.The cover to this book somehow reminds me of the cover of "Forgotten Lover" by Carole Mortimer..
July 8, 2021
What we have here is a failure to communicate: Hero thinks heroine has been pining for her dead husband (hero's cousin) for the past ten years. She hasn't. She was so traumatized by his repeated rapes, domestic violence, and his one attempt to actually kill her by throwing her overboard in a storm, that she has shied away from any physical or emotional closeness with a man ever since his timely demise.
She has friendzoned hero for ten years, but she is now beginning to be "awakened" by his masculinity. Hero however thinks she is using his body as a stand-in for her much-missed husband. Meanwhile she thinks SHE is the one being used by hero, who she believes is in unrequited love with his business partner's luscious wife. *face palm*
In reality, hero and OW (who is a psychiatrist! LOL) concocted this tacky cover story together in order to make heroine jealous, thus "helping" her to come out of her shell after years of alleged mourning for her dearly departed hubby and confront her feelings for the hero. The OW has seemingly been coaching hero how to handle the repressed heroine. *sigh*
The whole conundrum is resolved when the OW brings the two ninnies together. Nothing says romance like the Other Woman saving the day :~}
This is probably fine for Penny Jordan fans (though there is no spongeing) but I myself found it tedious to read about the neurotic heroine and the wussy Beta hero.
She has friendzoned hero for ten years, but she is now beginning to be "awakened" by his masculinity. Hero however thinks she is using his body as a stand-in for her much-missed husband. Meanwhile she thinks SHE is the one being used by hero, who she believes is in unrequited love with his business partner's luscious wife. *face palm*
In reality, hero and OW (who is a psychiatrist! LOL) concocted this tacky cover story together in order to make heroine jealous, thus "helping" her to come out of her shell after years of alleged mourning for her dearly departed hubby and confront her feelings for the hero. The OW has seemingly been coaching hero how to handle the repressed heroine. *sigh*
The whole conundrum is resolved when the OW brings the two ninnies together. Nothing says romance like the Other Woman saving the day :~}
This is probably fine for Penny Jordan fans (though there is no spongeing) but I myself found it tedious to read about the neurotic heroine and the wussy Beta hero.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 11, 2020
"Substitute Lover" is the story of Stephanie and Gray.
Our champion h is a domestic abuse survivor, yet wary of men ever since her POS husband passed away. Her only confidante has been her husband's cousin, the H, who not only shielded her from all the ugliness, but also become her best friend and shoulder to cry on.
Ten years later, he calls on her to help him in a business they now co-own, but soon the h finds herself jealous of the H's "girlfriend", starving for a much deeper affection. Having believed herself as frigid, she never expected to feel the sparks of lust. But with the H asking for a favor, will she be able to deny him?
Actually a very sweet and angsty book with a devoted H who waited years for the h, who had married his cousin. She goes through a rough time, and even on widowhood he believes that she is mourning her ex- not knowing the trauma she went through. Years later, he chances another attempt to "win" her heart, and the book begins in that attempt, ending with it paying off.
It wasn't the best PJ, yet I thoroughly enjoyed it because I love devoted H's.
Safe with exceptions
3.5/5
Our champion h is a domestic abuse survivor, yet wary of men ever since her POS husband passed away. Her only confidante has been her husband's cousin, the H, who not only shielded her from all the ugliness, but also become her best friend and shoulder to cry on.
Ten years later, he calls on her to help him in a business they now co-own, but soon the h finds herself jealous of the H's "girlfriend", starving for a much deeper affection. Having believed herself as frigid, she never expected to feel the sparks of lust. But with the H asking for a favor, will she be able to deny him?
Actually a very sweet and angsty book with a devoted H who waited years for the h, who had married his cousin. She goes through a rough time, and even on widowhood he believes that she is mourning her ex- not knowing the trauma she went through. Years later, he chances another attempt to "win" her heart, and the book begins in that attempt, ending with it paying off.
It wasn't the best PJ, yet I thoroughly enjoyed it because I love devoted H's.
Safe with exceptions
3.5/5
September 22, 2011
I quite enjoyed this angsty HP. The hero had loved the heroine for years since before she had married his cousin. Turns out the cousin was abusive and after he died the heroine, Stephanie, had closed herself off out of fear of men while the hero, Gray, thought it was because she was mourning the dead husband. That's all in the very beginning so no big spoiler. There was POV from both the heroine and hero so you knew what was going on with both of them. Well done and well written with pretty well founded angst as each was afraid to tell the other how they felt for fear they would lose the relationship they already had. The hero wasn't an ass and the heroine wasn't particulary wimpy.
Very good.
Very good.
July 8, 2021
This was a re-read for me. I'm not sure why. I sometimes wonder if PJ heroine's can find their way to the wash room.
I'm downgrading this to 2 stars from 3 stars and that is being quite generous.
I never wrote a review before so I can't even say original review below... :D
I'm downgrading this to 2 stars from 3 stars and that is being quite generous.
I never wrote a review before so I can't even say original review below... :D
December 16, 2015
To think that I was barely six years old when Substitute Lover was initially published, and I am enjoying this book after so many years have passed since then, attests to the talent that authors like Penny Jordan wielded in the romance genre. Though Penny Jordan is no more, I read her older books with the fondest of memories, memories of how her books used to spin and weave magic for me, which made me want to read more of the same. My reading did move onto other circles, especially given the fact that most Harlequin titles of today just seem lackluster in comparison, few giving a reader their worth in money spent.
Substitute Lover tells the story of 28 year old Stephanie Chalmers, a widow going 10 years, who has to force herself to return to the place of her “wedded life”, a marriage that had done a number on the innocent and naive girl that Stephanie had been back then. The one thing that should calm her in the midst of the storm that is blazing to life inside of her at the mere thought of going back should be Gray Chalmers, the man who had stood by her all these years, pushed and prodded her to move on with her life, offering her the shoulder of friendship when she had needed it the most. What she doesn’t count on this time around is for her feelings towards Gray to turn towards murkier waters, surprising her by the ferocity of what strikes her, when she has an aversion to being touched by the opposite sex after the number her brief marriage had done on her.
Gray was done being patient, standing on the sidelines and watching Stephanie remove herself from even the possibility of a shared life with another. Thus brings about the charade about Gray needing Stephanie to ward off the unwanted attentions of another woman, a task to which Stephanie takes to all too well, leaving her floundering in the wake of the emotions that being up close and personal with Gray brings about.
Substitute Lover is a novel that was full of the angst of the kind that I love and revel in. I treasure old Harlequin titles for this reason. Even though miscommunication and sheer stubbornness on the hero or heroin’s part to see the truth is not what I am talking about, there is a certain kind of lure to the kind of angst some of these books deliver and Substitute Lover managed to deliver just the right touch of it. The agony that Gray himself goes through to keep his end of the bargain, the scars and horrors of the past that Stephanie has to deal with to move on were the reasons the pages kept turning into the wee hours of the night.
Stephanie’s short lived marriage is the kind of stuff nightmares are made of. To think that she had suffered through it all alone, blaming herself for failing to be the woman her husband had required her to be was one that struck an emotional chord deep within me. Gray’s pain and the secret he has held on for so long made the story that much more delicious and I loved every single moment of this wonderful story. Reading and revisiting books by an author who made me fall in love with a genre I continue to read 15 years on is my way of giving tribute to someone who has illuminated the world of so many romance readers with the wonderful hues of bright and colorful lights of lust, angst & ever lasting love.
Rating = 4/5
For more reviews and quotes, please visit, www.maldivianbookreviewer.com
Substitute Lover tells the story of 28 year old Stephanie Chalmers, a widow going 10 years, who has to force herself to return to the place of her “wedded life”, a marriage that had done a number on the innocent and naive girl that Stephanie had been back then. The one thing that should calm her in the midst of the storm that is blazing to life inside of her at the mere thought of going back should be Gray Chalmers, the man who had stood by her all these years, pushed and prodded her to move on with her life, offering her the shoulder of friendship when she had needed it the most. What she doesn’t count on this time around is for her feelings towards Gray to turn towards murkier waters, surprising her by the ferocity of what strikes her, when she has an aversion to being touched by the opposite sex after the number her brief marriage had done on her.
Gray was done being patient, standing on the sidelines and watching Stephanie remove herself from even the possibility of a shared life with another. Thus brings about the charade about Gray needing Stephanie to ward off the unwanted attentions of another woman, a task to which Stephanie takes to all too well, leaving her floundering in the wake of the emotions that being up close and personal with Gray brings about.
Substitute Lover is a novel that was full of the angst of the kind that I love and revel in. I treasure old Harlequin titles for this reason. Even though miscommunication and sheer stubbornness on the hero or heroin’s part to see the truth is not what I am talking about, there is a certain kind of lure to the kind of angst some of these books deliver and Substitute Lover managed to deliver just the right touch of it. The agony that Gray himself goes through to keep his end of the bargain, the scars and horrors of the past that Stephanie has to deal with to move on were the reasons the pages kept turning into the wee hours of the night.
Stephanie’s short lived marriage is the kind of stuff nightmares are made of. To think that she had suffered through it all alone, blaming herself for failing to be the woman her husband had required her to be was one that struck an emotional chord deep within me. Gray’s pain and the secret he has held on for so long made the story that much more delicious and I loved every single moment of this wonderful story. Reading and revisiting books by an author who made me fall in love with a genre I continue to read 15 years on is my way of giving tribute to someone who has illuminated the world of so many romance readers with the wonderful hues of bright and colorful lights of lust, angst & ever lasting love.
Rating = 4/5
For more reviews and quotes, please visit, www.maldivianbookreviewer.com
February 25, 2012
When Stephanie was eighteen she fell in love with a man named Paul and married him. Little did she know that Paul was abusive both verbally and physically. He was a cruel man and started slapping her around right after there honeymoon. Embarrassed and ashamed, Stephanie hid this fact from everyone. One night when Paul and Stephanie were fighting, Paul took off, took his yacht out and drowned. Stephanie was finally free of his abuse but her guilt ate at her for years.
Ten years later, Paul's cousin Gray called her up and wanted a favor. Stephanie agreed to help him, little to know that Gray was setting her up because he had been in love with her since she was eighteen. After a whole emotional and traumatic time with Gray and confessing what Paul had truly done to her, she finally freed herself from the guilt and fell in love with Gray.
The story is very emotional, it shows the side of abusers and their victims and how the victims blame themselves. It was politically correct in so many ways and a very good read!
Ten years later, Paul's cousin Gray called her up and wanted a favor. Stephanie agreed to help him, little to know that Gray was setting her up because he had been in love with her since she was eighteen. After a whole emotional and traumatic time with Gray and confessing what Paul had truly done to her, she finally freed herself from the guilt and fell in love with Gray.
The story is very emotional, it shows the side of abusers and their victims and how the victims blame themselves. It was politically correct in so many ways and a very good read!
May 2, 2012
Fairly standard Penny Jordan story where the hero has loved the heroine secretly for a number of years. Normally I love these, but either I wasn't quite in the mood for this one or it was a little off -- I found the numerous, erroneous assumptions they each made pretty silly here. This is standard Penny Jordan technique, but at some point it's like -- ok, the most obvious explanation for why you are repeatedly making tender love together is not that each of you loves and wants someone else, but because you love and want each other. Maybe it's because in this one both of them think the other one loves someone else, when I think in a lot of others only the heroine thinks that and somehow that's a little more believable. Anyway, this was still a pretty decent read and I think in another mood I would have really liked it.
January 22, 2020
3.75 stars ⭐️.
Recommended.
Recommended.
June 13, 2016
3rd reading*(June 11, 2016) still love it. Felt so bad for the anguished love the H had for the h. It took forever for the h to get a clue!!
_________
Sweet devoted hero, somewhat naive heroine (like uh, really? otherwise, love it!!, November 9, 2011
This review is from: Substitute Lover (Harlequin Presents # 1105) (Paperback)
MY THOUGHTS: Spoilers: Ok, I love this book. I always love it when the hero super duper loves the heroine and is devoted even to point of somewhat being celibate. I just feel bad that the hero had to wait for her for 10 freeeaaaakkkiiinnn years! There were just friends during that time coz the heroine had no clue and of course was kinda damaged. Now that is TRUE LOVE. =) The heroine is 28 by the way. As for the heroine, I do like her and she did have a traumatic past to explain her behaviour. But since I'm reading this in the year 2011, her actuations were a little "really girl, you don't know???" "girl, you can't be that naive!!" Heroine was like this lost little innocent girl. But seriously though, as mentioned, heroine did have a reason for being the way she was in the story. Ok, let's see, what else to comment on... All I can say is I really liked the book and has total re-read value because the hero is SO sweet. Oh yes, Penny Jordan also includes the HERO'S THOUGHTS! Yay! That is so cool so you get to hear what he thinks about it which is like aww[...] And of course the love scenes are also really hot ~_~ I had to fan myself when the hero decided to show the heroine real pleasure whew! I was at the election polls so my fellow poll worker was probably wondering why I was smiling or turning red, hahaha. The ending was also sweet and it was nice that Penny Jordan included a short little epilogue. I'm just glad that hero got to experience SUPER DUPER LOVIN from the heroine. Heck he had 10 years of nothin from her, you know! Love the book, will definitely re-read it and be kept in my MUST KEEP pile.
_________
Sweet devoted hero, somewhat naive heroine (like uh, really? otherwise, love it!!, November 9, 2011
This review is from: Substitute Lover (Harlequin Presents # 1105) (Paperback)
MY THOUGHTS: Spoilers: Ok, I love this book. I always love it when the hero super duper loves the heroine and is devoted even to point of somewhat being celibate. I just feel bad that the hero had to wait for her for 10 freeeaaaakkkiiinnn years! There were just friends during that time coz the heroine had no clue and of course was kinda damaged. Now that is TRUE LOVE. =) The heroine is 28 by the way. As for the heroine, I do like her and she did have a traumatic past to explain her behaviour. But since I'm reading this in the year 2011, her actuations were a little "really girl, you don't know???" "girl, you can't be that naive!!" Heroine was like this lost little innocent girl. But seriously though, as mentioned, heroine did have a reason for being the way she was in the story. Ok, let's see, what else to comment on... All I can say is I really liked the book and has total re-read value because the hero is SO sweet. Oh yes, Penny Jordan also includes the HERO'S THOUGHTS! Yay! That is so cool so you get to hear what he thinks about it which is like aww[...] And of course the love scenes are also really hot ~_~ I had to fan myself when the hero decided to show the heroine real pleasure whew! I was at the election polls so my fellow poll worker was probably wondering why I was smiling or turning red, hahaha. The ending was also sweet and it was nice that Penny Jordan included a short little epilogue. I'm just glad that hero got to experience SUPER DUPER LOVIN from the heroine. Heck he had 10 years of nothin from her, you know! Love the book, will definitely re-read it and be kept in my MUST KEEP pile.
July 14, 2023
Yet another PJ martyr h and I’m not in the right state of mind to be more empathic with her situation. To me she was just frustratingly annoying and I couldn’t keep up with her miserable jittering, shaking, trembling and crying. Like girl why are you even breathing if life is such a burden.
I disliked that the h was a vibrant girl who loved to sail and was adequately fearless but her traumatizing marriage- rather extremely brief marriage- 1 month at that could size her down to the mess she was.
The H was her ex husband’s cousin who secretly loved her for years but before he could’ve made a move she was already getting married. The ex husband was young and reckless and couldn’t incite any sexual response in the h and had to resort to physical abuse instead. There’s a point where the ex husband is so aggressive and can’t wait to get rid of the h that he tries to drown her.
Like why not try divorce instead?? Cheaper and you get to stay out of prison.
The tropiest of tropes in this book. The h is stained by her past experience with her abusive husband of 1 month and who’s been dead for more than a decade.
There’s a fake OW and every time the H approaches the h she assumes he’s thinking of OW. She was totally dense to recognize how the H truly loved and cared for her. If you hang around the book picks up after 50%. I’d considered dnfing several times until then but it wasn’t too bad post mid way.
There’s HEA but it doesn’t come easy. The H is a devoted man and he puts his heart in to work at freeing the h from the trauma of her brief ex marriage so she can love him back with all her heart.
I disliked that the h was a vibrant girl who loved to sail and was adequately fearless but her traumatizing marriage- rather extremely brief marriage- 1 month at that could size her down to the mess she was.
The H was her ex husband’s cousin who secretly loved her for years but before he could’ve made a move she was already getting married. The ex husband was young and reckless and couldn’t incite any sexual response in the h and had to resort to physical abuse instead. There’s a point where the ex husband is so aggressive and can’t wait to get rid of the h that he tries to drown her.
Like why not try divorce instead?? Cheaper and you get to stay out of prison.
The tropiest of tropes in this book. The h is stained by her past experience with her abusive husband of 1 month and who’s been dead for more than a decade.
There’s a fake OW and every time the H approaches the h she assumes he’s thinking of OW. She was totally dense to recognize how the H truly loved and cared for her. If you hang around the book picks up after 50%. I’d considered dnfing several times until then but it wasn’t too bad post mid way.
There’s HEA but it doesn’t come easy. The H is a devoted man and he puts his heart in to work at freeing the h from the trauma of her brief ex marriage so she can love him back with all her heart.
February 27, 2025
Substitute Lover another book report by Chad “El Martillo” Heater…
Where does one begin when describing the complex love affair of substitute lover by Penny Jordan? I need to get this out of the way first. Penny, it’s not “chilli” it’s chili. I don’t give two phos if you’re British. Chili is chili and I’m sure the “chilli” Gray made for Stephanie that cold night next to the harbor was as shit as you’re spelling of it. Now onto the review!
Stephanie. The lonely widow living in London was married too young and to the wrong man. You see, her late husband Paul and his cousin Gray both had strong feelings for her. While Gray wanted to wait until Stephanie was at a more appropriate/legal age for marriage, Paul wanted Stephanie for his own. As far as us the reader knows, this was not communicated between the cousins. Which if there was some sort of honesty and communication happening between the characters in this book, we wouldn’t have the drama that unfolds over the next 180 pages or the improper spelling of the word chili. So Stephanie ended up marrying Paul, while Gray found solitude in schooners in the sea harboring his true feelings for Stephanie… I’m sure Gray listened to a lot of emo music during this time with his unruly black mane covering his headphones while the sounds of Death Cab for Cutie echoed in his sad thoughts.
While this was happening, Paul was being a total asshole as one would expect for an older man marrying a seventeen year old. Paul was supposed to be Stephanie’s first, only and true love. But she was in love with the thought of being in love (also pretty emo). Instead what she got was a physically and emotionally abusive partner that cheated on her constantly. Not only that, he tried to kill her by drowning her in the harbor! When the Coast Guard intervened she was saved for the time being. In his own fury and inability to kill his underage wife, Paul went out on his schooner leaving his physically and emotionally nattered wife at home. Lucky for Stephanie, Paul must’ve been as shitty of a sailor as he was a husband because he capsized his schooner and drowned at sea. Finally Stephanie would be free of this garbage excuse for a man! Wrong!
The human mind is a complex chunk of meat firing from synapse to synapse making someone feel worse than they need to be. Depression sets in, the emo music plays and one convinces themselves they aren’t good enough for a new partner or even for themselves. Unfortunately mental health wasn’t a top priority in whatever time of English society this takes place (there are cars, but AOL hasn’t been invented yet). Fortunately for Stephanie instead of having to communicate the atrocities she experienced at the hands of the deadman Paul, she had the elaborate ruse of his cousin to snap her out of it!
One early London morning before (insert lyrics from Swifty’s song London Boy), Stephanie received a call from her old friend, Gray. He needed her help. And her being a part owner of the harbor boat storage dock type business, he needed her back harbor side. She drive her VW to harbor side to meet Gray and his untamed black hair, long finger nails, chiseled features and moody sailor attitude.
The harbor side dock boat business was in jeopardy! They were barely making enough money to break even through rentals and slip fees. Gray needed to build the awesome one man schooner “Hope’s End” to enter in the badass schooner racing event “Boat Death Race to the end of the world 1975 staying alive for reals this time.” (I may have taken some liberties to give it a cooler name). Gray wanted Steph to manage the business while he built the boat. She agreed because she wanted to help her old friend, which she began getting some feelings for…
But she couldn’t act on those feelings. Jitrag Paul told her no man would love her because she was a terrible lover and wife (see above paragraph why he attempted to drown her). If only she could communicate her true feelings and reservations to Gray…
Enter the wife and mother of two from stage left, Claudia. Or Cindy. Or Cynthia. Any name will do because she’s not as much of a character as she is a prop for the love that Gray supposedly has for her. Gray approaches Steph later that night to reveal the other true reason he brought her to the harbor side. Apparently C is in love with him and he needs Stephanie to block her advances. But Gray tells Stephanie that he’s in love with Clara! Despite admitting this to her, he continually makes sexual advances towards his old friend and which she tries to act on but the scares from Jitrag Paul run deep. And she also can help but think that Gray thinks that she’s Courtney which makes her uncomfortable because she wants Paul to want Stephanie, not Charlotte!
To make things even more complicated, Charlene’s husband is Gray’s business partner and sponsoring him in the “Schooner Shred Until You Die Race Around the World Number XIV!!” What is Gray thinking?! Which we’ll soon find out about his master plan bit sooner than later.
As the ebbs and flows of this awkward relationship continues and Stephanie continues battling her demons like a Balrog in the depths of the Mines of Moria. While Gray hoards his true feelings for Stephanie like the dragon Smaug and his dwarven treasures. But like the fires of Mount Doom, these feelings begin to boil up and Gray finds out that his cousin was a total piece of shit (even though he already knew this when Paul married a minor) as Stephanie’s Ben Grimm like facade begins to crack.
So how does Gray react? Great question, dear reader! He take her down to the dock, picks her up, carries her onto his freshly built schooner, brings he below decks, locks the door and gives her a life jacket. I don’t think Sade was describing Gray when she crooned Smooth Criminal, but he definitely performed a criminal action…
Steph’s panic gets to her. She starts to yell at Gray. But he won’t have it. He wants her to face her fears. She used to love clove hitching a sail to strap down for oncoming gales with jack rabbit swing to boom the mast in the face of Poseidon’s fury! But they make progress! Gray knows her emo coma from the last decade wasn’t moping Jitrag Paul, but her dealing with the complex emotions and ptsd from a shitty relationship. And even Steph begins to suspect Gray’s emo existence isn’t because he loves Saddle Creek and Deep Elm records, but he saw Steph as the one that got away. But what about Christine?!
As Gray, steers “Neptune’s Scepter” towards heaving waves, Steph decides to move from the galley to starboard deck. Gray hooks her into a ratchet support line with a button hook 10-24 switch beer knot to ensure she’s safe. Stephanie likes this. But oh no! The heaving waves throw her overboard! She feels a hand from the depths grab her… it must be Jitrag Paul finally finishing what he failed at years ago…
But no! She wakes back at the cottage. Gray has saved her. But he also put her in a situation against her will that almost kill her so I guess that moment of heroic chivalry is null and void. She’s as weak as a kitten, so Gray runs her a hot bath to warm her up. But her weakness doesn’t allow her to disrobe on her own which Gray conveniently helps her disrobe and get into the tub. The hot bath steams up the bathroom. While she bathes he takes a shower in the other bathroom in the cottage that just happened to be created and the square footage grows by the chapter at this point…
At dinner Gray makes “chilli” to get the chill out. Again, this is not how you spell chili so one can only assume that the “chilli” is shit and doesn’t have a single alarm to it. (And yes, I can talk trash in this chili because I make a ripping turkey chili. Which you will find out shortly in the not too distant date future…). Any whom, Gray gives her some wine because we all know wine pairs well with “chilli.” Now Stephanie feels comfortable to let her guard down and finally communicate her feelings to Gray after a couple glasses of wine. Must’ve been pretty strong wine! Gray almost lets her guard down as well, but he’s afraid that it will scare Stephanie off to return to her emo existence in London riding around on Idris Elva’s scooter! (We could only be so lucky).
Now this is when the book gets good and I use hood loosely. But, dear reader, I’m not going to spoil anything and I can’t put it into the steamy words of Penny Jordan. Let’s just say there is a lot of nipple play and nipple descriptions happening. Because we’ve all got them and who doesn’t like some fun nipple play? Well, probably not Jitrag Paul because he was an impotent piece of shit. Fortunately Stephanie is having a sexual awakening with Gray that takes her on a “banquet of sexual experiences.” Again, dear reader, I won’t spoil it, but will read passages from this fine literary masterpiece in person.
Anyway. The next morning Stephanie wakes up to no Gray. She wanted Gray. She thought this was their moment. He must be thinking about Caroline. He’s downstairs at the breakfast table not making porridge. But if he were I’m sure it would be spelt pouridge and taste atrocious. He causally drops that they’re having supper that night with Chadrina and Chad at their manse. Stephanie does not like the sounds of that, but she must play the role of the “substitute lover” to continue this charade to ward off the feelings of Carol.
They prepare that night for dinner and Stephanie wears a peach balloon that I assume is as revealing as the one on the cover, but I don’t believe that is peach. Anyways, Gray makes comments about how hot she is, he does not mention the “sexual buffet” from the prior night leaving Steph to continue to assume he’s in love with Caley. At dinner Stephanie thinks she picks up on sexual glances between the two and then they get invited to schoon on “Euripide’s Euphoria” in the Aegean Sea or some exotic sounding place. Which they both agree to although Stephanie can’t believe Cammie invited them.
That night they’re both tired, but Stephanie is hoping for another “Sexual Banquet” but the “Race Your Face to Pace the Schooner Mace 2035 Annual Schooner Fest” is the next day. She’s scared. She wants to tell Gray good luck. She doesn’t want to lose her new lover to the sea like Jitrag Paul, but Gray assures her “Neptune’s Trident” is faster and more sound than the Battlestar Galactica. She says fine and goes to bed sad listening to TTPSD.
Race Day. Guess what, dear reader? The radio announces a small one man schooner has capsized and they can’t find the seaman that went down with it. Chantelle is distraught having lost another seaman to Poseidon’s wicked waves! She turns the radio off and begins drinking. The phone rings. She knows it’s Chadeniqua delivering the bad news. She drinks and avoids it. A day later there’s a knock at the front door…
It’s Gray! Is she seeing a ghost?! If she had a handy FMV reader she could find out. Fortunately they embarrass and all the pent up feelings erupt like Mount Vesuvius. They make love and have another “Sexual Seven Course Meal,” this time more than just nipple play, but some nibbling in places that are too NC-17 for this review.
They admit their love for one another. Things are great! Or are they…?
The next morning Gray isn’t in bed. There’s someone at the front door. It’s Chanel! Stephanie overhears something about. Apply to keep Stephanie in the dark. Having lost her seaman, she cries and drives back to London. But what’s this?! The Mercedes owned by Candy is chasing after her. Once she catches up they pull over to a rest area where Chakra reveals the plot that Gray cooked up to pretend like her and Gray were having an affair to create jealousy on Stephanie’s behalf to overcome her love of Jitrag Paul and finally fall in love with Gray because he’s been in love with her since she was seventeen (but he was waiting until she was nineteen to marry) and that this elaborate ruse worked to get them to fall in love. So so long London, Stephanie heads back to the harbor side cottage to be with Gray. Gray proposes to her in the spot and tells her to wear the peach dress to their wedding, but she has to live with Candela and Joseph for the next three weeks for proper courting or something like that.
If you’ve made it this far, you ow know it is time for the El Martillo fairing. I give this Harlequin Romance two stars out of pho. If there were an actual harlequin that made an appearance it would’ve gotten a better review. However, it did get pretty steamy about 120 pages in which was not expected despite the genre! Which I’ll give it an additional three erect nipples!
Edit: Considering how the description of the nipple play got me bricked up, I’ve decided to increase the noodle rating to three out of pho.
Where does one begin when describing the complex love affair of substitute lover by Penny Jordan? I need to get this out of the way first. Penny, it’s not “chilli” it’s chili. I don’t give two phos if you’re British. Chili is chili and I’m sure the “chilli” Gray made for Stephanie that cold night next to the harbor was as shit as you’re spelling of it. Now onto the review!
Stephanie. The lonely widow living in London was married too young and to the wrong man. You see, her late husband Paul and his cousin Gray both had strong feelings for her. While Gray wanted to wait until Stephanie was at a more appropriate/legal age for marriage, Paul wanted Stephanie for his own. As far as us the reader knows, this was not communicated between the cousins. Which if there was some sort of honesty and communication happening between the characters in this book, we wouldn’t have the drama that unfolds over the next 180 pages or the improper spelling of the word chili. So Stephanie ended up marrying Paul, while Gray found solitude in schooners in the sea harboring his true feelings for Stephanie… I’m sure Gray listened to a lot of emo music during this time with his unruly black mane covering his headphones while the sounds of Death Cab for Cutie echoed in his sad thoughts.
While this was happening, Paul was being a total asshole as one would expect for an older man marrying a seventeen year old. Paul was supposed to be Stephanie’s first, only and true love. But she was in love with the thought of being in love (also pretty emo). Instead what she got was a physically and emotionally abusive partner that cheated on her constantly. Not only that, he tried to kill her by drowning her in the harbor! When the Coast Guard intervened she was saved for the time being. In his own fury and inability to kill his underage wife, Paul went out on his schooner leaving his physically and emotionally nattered wife at home. Lucky for Stephanie, Paul must’ve been as shitty of a sailor as he was a husband because he capsized his schooner and drowned at sea. Finally Stephanie would be free of this garbage excuse for a man! Wrong!
The human mind is a complex chunk of meat firing from synapse to synapse making someone feel worse than they need to be. Depression sets in, the emo music plays and one convinces themselves they aren’t good enough for a new partner or even for themselves. Unfortunately mental health wasn’t a top priority in whatever time of English society this takes place (there are cars, but AOL hasn’t been invented yet). Fortunately for Stephanie instead of having to communicate the atrocities she experienced at the hands of the deadman Paul, she had the elaborate ruse of his cousin to snap her out of it!
One early London morning before (insert lyrics from Swifty’s song London Boy), Stephanie received a call from her old friend, Gray. He needed her help. And her being a part owner of the harbor boat storage dock type business, he needed her back harbor side. She drive her VW to harbor side to meet Gray and his untamed black hair, long finger nails, chiseled features and moody sailor attitude.
The harbor side dock boat business was in jeopardy! They were barely making enough money to break even through rentals and slip fees. Gray needed to build the awesome one man schooner “Hope’s End” to enter in the badass schooner racing event “Boat Death Race to the end of the world 1975 staying alive for reals this time.” (I may have taken some liberties to give it a cooler name). Gray wanted Steph to manage the business while he built the boat. She agreed because she wanted to help her old friend, which she began getting some feelings for…
But she couldn’t act on those feelings. Jitrag Paul told her no man would love her because she was a terrible lover and wife (see above paragraph why he attempted to drown her). If only she could communicate her true feelings and reservations to Gray…
Enter the wife and mother of two from stage left, Claudia. Or Cindy. Or Cynthia. Any name will do because she’s not as much of a character as she is a prop for the love that Gray supposedly has for her. Gray approaches Steph later that night to reveal the other true reason he brought her to the harbor side. Apparently C is in love with him and he needs Stephanie to block her advances. But Gray tells Stephanie that he’s in love with Clara! Despite admitting this to her, he continually makes sexual advances towards his old friend and which she tries to act on but the scares from Jitrag Paul run deep. And she also can help but think that Gray thinks that she’s Courtney which makes her uncomfortable because she wants Paul to want Stephanie, not Charlotte!
To make things even more complicated, Charlene’s husband is Gray’s business partner and sponsoring him in the “Schooner Shred Until You Die Race Around the World Number XIV!!” What is Gray thinking?! Which we’ll soon find out about his master plan bit sooner than later.
As the ebbs and flows of this awkward relationship continues and Stephanie continues battling her demons like a Balrog in the depths of the Mines of Moria. While Gray hoards his true feelings for Stephanie like the dragon Smaug and his dwarven treasures. But like the fires of Mount Doom, these feelings begin to boil up and Gray finds out that his cousin was a total piece of shit (even though he already knew this when Paul married a minor) as Stephanie’s Ben Grimm like facade begins to crack.
So how does Gray react? Great question, dear reader! He take her down to the dock, picks her up, carries her onto his freshly built schooner, brings he below decks, locks the door and gives her a life jacket. I don’t think Sade was describing Gray when she crooned Smooth Criminal, but he definitely performed a criminal action…
Steph’s panic gets to her. She starts to yell at Gray. But he won’t have it. He wants her to face her fears. She used to love clove hitching a sail to strap down for oncoming gales with jack rabbit swing to boom the mast in the face of Poseidon’s fury! But they make progress! Gray knows her emo coma from the last decade wasn’t moping Jitrag Paul, but her dealing with the complex emotions and ptsd from a shitty relationship. And even Steph begins to suspect Gray’s emo existence isn’t because he loves Saddle Creek and Deep Elm records, but he saw Steph as the one that got away. But what about Christine?!
As Gray, steers “Neptune’s Scepter” towards heaving waves, Steph decides to move from the galley to starboard deck. Gray hooks her into a ratchet support line with a button hook 10-24 switch beer knot to ensure she’s safe. Stephanie likes this. But oh no! The heaving waves throw her overboard! She feels a hand from the depths grab her… it must be Jitrag Paul finally finishing what he failed at years ago…
But no! She wakes back at the cottage. Gray has saved her. But he also put her in a situation against her will that almost kill her so I guess that moment of heroic chivalry is null and void. She’s as weak as a kitten, so Gray runs her a hot bath to warm her up. But her weakness doesn’t allow her to disrobe on her own which Gray conveniently helps her disrobe and get into the tub. The hot bath steams up the bathroom. While she bathes he takes a shower in the other bathroom in the cottage that just happened to be created and the square footage grows by the chapter at this point…
At dinner Gray makes “chilli” to get the chill out. Again, this is not how you spell chili so one can only assume that the “chilli” is shit and doesn’t have a single alarm to it. (And yes, I can talk trash in this chili because I make a ripping turkey chili. Which you will find out shortly in the not too distant date future…). Any whom, Gray gives her some wine because we all know wine pairs well with “chilli.” Now Stephanie feels comfortable to let her guard down and finally communicate her feelings to Gray after a couple glasses of wine. Must’ve been pretty strong wine! Gray almost lets her guard down as well, but he’s afraid that it will scare Stephanie off to return to her emo existence in London riding around on Idris Elva’s scooter! (We could only be so lucky).
Now this is when the book gets good and I use hood loosely. But, dear reader, I’m not going to spoil anything and I can’t put it into the steamy words of Penny Jordan. Let’s just say there is a lot of nipple play and nipple descriptions happening. Because we’ve all got them and who doesn’t like some fun nipple play? Well, probably not Jitrag Paul because he was an impotent piece of shit. Fortunately Stephanie is having a sexual awakening with Gray that takes her on a “banquet of sexual experiences.” Again, dear reader, I won’t spoil it, but will read passages from this fine literary masterpiece in person.
Anyway. The next morning Stephanie wakes up to no Gray. She wanted Gray. She thought this was their moment. He must be thinking about Caroline. He’s downstairs at the breakfast table not making porridge. But if he were I’m sure it would be spelt pouridge and taste atrocious. He causally drops that they’re having supper that night with Chadrina and Chad at their manse. Stephanie does not like the sounds of that, but she must play the role of the “substitute lover” to continue this charade to ward off the feelings of Carol.
They prepare that night for dinner and Stephanie wears a peach balloon that I assume is as revealing as the one on the cover, but I don’t believe that is peach. Anyways, Gray makes comments about how hot she is, he does not mention the “sexual buffet” from the prior night leaving Steph to continue to assume he’s in love with Caley. At dinner Stephanie thinks she picks up on sexual glances between the two and then they get invited to schoon on “Euripide’s Euphoria” in the Aegean Sea or some exotic sounding place. Which they both agree to although Stephanie can’t believe Cammie invited them.
That night they’re both tired, but Stephanie is hoping for another “Sexual Banquet” but the “Race Your Face to Pace the Schooner Mace 2035 Annual Schooner Fest” is the next day. She’s scared. She wants to tell Gray good luck. She doesn’t want to lose her new lover to the sea like Jitrag Paul, but Gray assures her “Neptune’s Trident” is faster and more sound than the Battlestar Galactica. She says fine and goes to bed sad listening to TTPSD.
Race Day. Guess what, dear reader? The radio announces a small one man schooner has capsized and they can’t find the seaman that went down with it. Chantelle is distraught having lost another seaman to Poseidon’s wicked waves! She turns the radio off and begins drinking. The phone rings. She knows it’s Chadeniqua delivering the bad news. She drinks and avoids it. A day later there’s a knock at the front door…
It’s Gray! Is she seeing a ghost?! If she had a handy FMV reader she could find out. Fortunately they embarrass and all the pent up feelings erupt like Mount Vesuvius. They make love and have another “Sexual Seven Course Meal,” this time more than just nipple play, but some nibbling in places that are too NC-17 for this review.
They admit their love for one another. Things are great! Or are they…?
The next morning Gray isn’t in bed. There’s someone at the front door. It’s Chanel! Stephanie overhears something about. Apply to keep Stephanie in the dark. Having lost her seaman, she cries and drives back to London. But what’s this?! The Mercedes owned by Candy is chasing after her. Once she catches up they pull over to a rest area where Chakra reveals the plot that Gray cooked up to pretend like her and Gray were having an affair to create jealousy on Stephanie’s behalf to overcome her love of Jitrag Paul and finally fall in love with Gray because he’s been in love with her since she was seventeen (but he was waiting until she was nineteen to marry) and that this elaborate ruse worked to get them to fall in love. So so long London, Stephanie heads back to the harbor side cottage to be with Gray. Gray proposes to her in the spot and tells her to wear the peach dress to their wedding, but she has to live with Candela and Joseph for the next three weeks for proper courting or something like that.
If you’ve made it this far, you ow know it is time for the El Martillo fairing. I give this Harlequin Romance two stars out of pho. If there were an actual harlequin that made an appearance it would’ve gotten a better review. However, it did get pretty steamy about 120 pages in which was not expected despite the genre! Which I’ll give it an additional three erect nipples!
Edit: Considering how the description of the nipple play got me bricked up, I’ve decided to increase the noodle rating to three out of pho.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 19, 2021
This was so clunky. Both H and h had their respective hang ups, and to be frank, it would've been better if we were in the h's head for the entirety of the story. Instead, since we had glimpses of the H's thoughts, and their mutual machinations and manoeuvring was so clumsily executed that I wanted to race to the end as quickly as I could.
August 1, 2025
I stopped reading PJ several years ago and this story reminds me why, too much focus on sexuality instead of love.
January 6, 2023
I'm beginning to love all the PJ romances that have a long-time pining H in them, because it hits all the right buttons for me. I read this one after doing yet another re-read of Gentle Deception, my fave PJ book thus far, as well as Yesterday's Echoes, and I can see some of the parallels but the couple still has their own charm for me.
So Stephanie is our h, a 28 year old illustrator (tho this job of hers is peripheral to the story as we see a lot more of her getting used once again to life at a coastal village) who is settled in London but is called down to her former home by her late husband's cousin, Gray. Our H was her only source of emotional support when the hubby, Paul, died, so while she is hesitant to return to this place she doesn't hesitate when the H asks her, because that's how important he is to her.
Gray runs a boating business that was started by both his dad and uncle, and is trying to revive the business as it has been losing money. His main interest is boat design, though, and he plans to design a super-safe and super-efficient one for a very dangerous sailing competition that is sure to increase sales. He tells the h he needs her help in running the day-to-day of the boatyard while he prepares for the competition, but really he's just been pining for her for the last 10-11 years and thinks it's odd that she's been practically living like a nun for that long. He assumes it's because she never got over the husband she lost in just a few months of marriage.
Unbeknownst to Gray, Stephanie harbours no love at all for his cousin. Her husband had swept her off her feet when she was barely 18, but whatever feelings she had for him were destroyed by their honeymoon. She had to endure his abuse, his cheating and even a murder attempt that makes her afraid to go to sea, despite being an experienced sailor from an early age. The whirlwind marriage has left its scars on her - including the belief that she is "frigid" - to the point where she can never see herself in another relationship ever again. Gray is in fact the closest person she has emotionally, though with this visit that's about to change.
It's pretty clear even from Stephanie's PoV that Gray is at the end of his rope now, and is finding it harder and harder to keep his feelings for her a secret (even his business partners know! Lol). Stephanie believes that he is in love with Carla, the wife of the investor funding his new state-of-the-art boat, and that whatever frustrations he's showing have to do with his situation with her. Gray confirms this in a very...veiled way, and asks for Stephanie's help to act as a "pretend lover" so he doesn't do anything stupid (I mean in retrospect...this plan is already plenty stupid - but I'll get to that later).
The two settle into a routine, but there is a lot of tension with both Gray's feelings almost coming to the surface and Stephanie's warring emotions - she is both becoming aware of her dormant desire for him, and her many, many fears that are a legacy from her abusive marriage. Gray is frustrated by what he thinks is her persistent devotion to her dead husband (who he personally knows as not being worth the reverence AT ALL), but as time passes she reveals to him just how bad the relationship was and how insecure she is about relationships after that.
Once Gray realizes this, he attempts to set things right by getting her to face her fears, little by little (btw, the "OW" Carla is a psychiatrist, and it's heavily implied that he sought her advice for figuring out how to encourage Stephanie to sail again). Shortly after a near-drowning accident post a wonderful day on his boat (where Stephanie rediscovers her love for sailing), Stephanie tells him about Paul's murder attempt on her. Emotionally wrecked by the revelations of the day and with their desire for each other at fever pitch, the two finally sleep together.
By this time Stephanie has already accepted she is in love with Gray, but still assumes Gray is using her to forget Carla. Unfortunately Gray also thinks she just needed confirmation that she wasn't frigid, and was essentially trying to exorcise Paul's ghost. He is now afraid to show her how he really feels because he thinks she might run away in fright. Meanwhile, they have dinners with Carla and her investor hubby Alex, and promotional parties to attend (Stephanie wears a rather fetching peach ballgown to the party, complete with new hairstyle and sexy lingerie that Gray happened to see just before the party - and it probably took every ounce of self control he had to not carry her straight to bed immediately after that).
She notices a couple things odd about Carla - how normal her reactions around Gray seem coming from someone who has been having an affair with him, how in love with her husband she looks and obvs how Stephanie would have really warmed up to her if she didn't know Carla was cheating on her openly adoring husband with Gray.
The day of the race approaches and unfortunately by the middle of the race, Stephanie gets a report that claims Gray and his boat are missing (we find out later that the report was wrong, the boat was fine, and Gray left it for a bit because a boat of a similar size capsized and he had to rescue the rider). She takes a long, long walk in grief, believing Gray is dead, but returns to find him at home and worried for her. While he lost the race, the boat proved its mettle and he was hailed as a local hero, which means plenty more sales for the boatyard.
Having been faced with the prospect of losing Gray, she pretty much seduces him and for the first time since I started reading Penny Jordan, I'm seeing an 80s-90s PJ book with TWO detailed sex scenes rather than just one (I'll probably be proven wrong as I go through her bibliography further - but I've noticed there will be one major scene that will be explored in loving detail, and the rest will either be detailed makeout scenes or a heavily implied short scene. So this was a pleasant surprise but I feel it definitely worked for this heroine particularly).
The next morning, aglow with love, Stephanie catches a snippet of a conversation between Carla and Gray (Carla expresses discomfort at "decieving" Stephanie), and believes that Gray still loves Carla and wants to be with her instead. When he goes to the boatyard for a bit, she runs away from the cottage in her yellow Volkswagen (every 80s PJ I have read thus far seems to have the h running away in some capacity or the other, leaving her H a complete puddle of angst).
Luckily for her and Gray, Carla manages to see her driving away, stops her, takes Stephanie to her car and explains to her for TWO WHOLE HOURS that no, Gray and Carla aren't having an affair and that Gray has been head-over-heels for Stephanie since she was 17. Two hours - that's the time it takes for Stephanie to realize what took us the readers two minutes.
She returns home to find poor Gray a sad, passed-out, hungover puddle of angst on the sofa, wakes him up and reveals she's loves him too. For the HEA, Gray has her stay with Carla and her husband so he can court her properly the way he'd always wanted to, and they get married after three weeks of serious wooing.
Gray is another amazing example of a hero who has been smitten from the very beginning, and his PoV scenes are few but really impactful. I also found the frustration he was going through (and that Stephanie kept misinterpreting) quite relatable - he's been in love with her for almost 11 years and he's losing any hope that she'll ever come to see him differently. Even without his PoV you can tell he's pretty much at the end of his tether when he calls Stephanie to stay at his cottage. And his determination to get to the root of her fears and hangups and help her, too, was so heartwarming.
Is the plan to rope in Carla for a pretense, stupid? It sure is, and Gray and Carla themselves aren't comfortable with the situation by the end of it all. But I also think it's a measure of how well he knows the h, and how well perhaps Carla can read into Stephanie's response to a potential rival, that the two hatch up such a plan. Because the dumbass plan DOES work to an extent, and Stephanie DOES have to put herself in the uncomfortable position of seeing Gray as a man, of admitting she finds him desirable. Stephanie clearly needs to feel like she could lose him before she can even begin to work on her hangups.
Stephanie's cluenessness can be frustrating sometimes but I also put it down to how young she was when she was in an abusive relationship that broke her in so many ways, and how reluctant she was to seek help because she blamed herself for Paul's abuse of her. While she doesn't love Paul, she definitely did believe some of his wrongful judgements of her (eg that she is "frigid") and fears that any attempts to have a relationship will prove him right. That does do a real number on one's sense of self-worth.
PJ also seems to subtly indicate a journey from Stephanie's end on how she perceives her marriage to Paul. She doesn't tell anyone about what he put her through - not even Gray who she trusts the most - and in living that lie for years, she tends to soften some of the most traumatic things he's done to her. For instance, she first thinks that her vague memories of Paul attempting to murder her must be in her head...but it's clear when Gray rescues her at their sailing excursion that she believes her own perception of events. She tends to blame herself for not being desirable enough, which is why she is so reluctant to believe Gray could love *her*. I thought both this and her fear of the sea was handled really well.
I thought the atmosphere of the setting was done really well too. It's set in a coastal area and both the main characters are experienced sailors, and the fact that one of them exhibits a fear of the sea that she once loved coursing through sets up some great conflict. You get a lot of know-how relating to boat safety and construction, but not in a way that can overwhelm you if you're unfamiliar and it adds to the romance. Of particular note is the scene where Stephanie is anxious as Gray is testing his boat, and plans what will help him relax at home (because of her own sailing experience, she knows what kind of food would be best, and what Gray would need most at home), and the scene where Gray goes through the whole safety procedure before sailing so that she feels safe.
I also loved how Stephanie's memories of her own relationship with Gray unravel over time. We find out midway through the book that she did have a crush on him (and she pinpoints an actual incident that kickstarted it) as a teen, that her visits to the estuary began because she wanted to see him but then Paul made a move while Gray was keeping his respectful distance (as he should have!). It reminded me a bit of Jake and Rosie in "Yesterday's Echoes" (also a PJ book)...but an additional point goes to this book for making the h's earlier attraction to the H a bit clearer than the other book did. As Stephanie was just a teen then, I can imagine why she was so swayed by Paul and why it takes her so long to recall that it was Gray she'd always wanted (it's hinted that she could have repressed those memories and feelings in part due to the snide remarks Paul would make about Gray fancying her, which made her uncomfortable when she was still married to him).
I obviously never read Harlequin for the OWs or OMs (unless of course they have their own books later haha), but Carla is one of my all-time favourite OWs. She operates in the way most "smokescreen OWs" (I mean the ones that actually don't have designs on the heroes but are actually just friends with them instead) do, but she also does a lot of the work in the end by sitting patiently with Stephanie and convincing her of Gray's love because she knows Gray can't. There are also subtle hints throughout the book that along with pretending to be a rival, she has been helping Gray in his attempts to understand Stephanie. I thought she and Alex were a fabulous source of support for the leads and almost searched for whether PJ had given them a book earlier (she didn't).
On the whole I really loved the book and the characters, and I'm beginning to love whatever I've explored of Penny Jordan's writing so far.
So Stephanie is our h, a 28 year old illustrator (tho this job of hers is peripheral to the story as we see a lot more of her getting used once again to life at a coastal village) who is settled in London but is called down to her former home by her late husband's cousin, Gray. Our H was her only source of emotional support when the hubby, Paul, died, so while she is hesitant to return to this place she doesn't hesitate when the H asks her, because that's how important he is to her.
Gray runs a boating business that was started by both his dad and uncle, and is trying to revive the business as it has been losing money. His main interest is boat design, though, and he plans to design a super-safe and super-efficient one for a very dangerous sailing competition that is sure to increase sales. He tells the h he needs her help in running the day-to-day of the boatyard while he prepares for the competition, but really he's just been pining for her for the last 10-11 years and thinks it's odd that she's been practically living like a nun for that long. He assumes it's because she never got over the husband she lost in just a few months of marriage.
Unbeknownst to Gray, Stephanie harbours no love at all for his cousin. Her husband had swept her off her feet when she was barely 18, but whatever feelings she had for him were destroyed by their honeymoon. She had to endure his abuse, his cheating and even a murder attempt that makes her afraid to go to sea, despite being an experienced sailor from an early age. The whirlwind marriage has left its scars on her - including the belief that she is "frigid" - to the point where she can never see herself in another relationship ever again. Gray is in fact the closest person she has emotionally, though with this visit that's about to change.
It's pretty clear even from Stephanie's PoV that Gray is at the end of his rope now, and is finding it harder and harder to keep his feelings for her a secret (even his business partners know! Lol). Stephanie believes that he is in love with Carla, the wife of the investor funding his new state-of-the-art boat, and that whatever frustrations he's showing have to do with his situation with her. Gray confirms this in a very...veiled way, and asks for Stephanie's help to act as a "pretend lover" so he doesn't do anything stupid (I mean in retrospect...this plan is already plenty stupid - but I'll get to that later).
The two settle into a routine, but there is a lot of tension with both Gray's feelings almost coming to the surface and Stephanie's warring emotions - she is both becoming aware of her dormant desire for him, and her many, many fears that are a legacy from her abusive marriage. Gray is frustrated by what he thinks is her persistent devotion to her dead husband (who he personally knows as not being worth the reverence AT ALL), but as time passes she reveals to him just how bad the relationship was and how insecure she is about relationships after that.
Once Gray realizes this, he attempts to set things right by getting her to face her fears, little by little (btw, the "OW" Carla is a psychiatrist, and it's heavily implied that he sought her advice for figuring out how to encourage Stephanie to sail again). Shortly after a near-drowning accident post a wonderful day on his boat (where Stephanie rediscovers her love for sailing), Stephanie tells him about Paul's murder attempt on her. Emotionally wrecked by the revelations of the day and with their desire for each other at fever pitch, the two finally sleep together.
By this time Stephanie has already accepted she is in love with Gray, but still assumes Gray is using her to forget Carla. Unfortunately Gray also thinks she just needed confirmation that she wasn't frigid, and was essentially trying to exorcise Paul's ghost. He is now afraid to show her how he really feels because he thinks she might run away in fright. Meanwhile, they have dinners with Carla and her investor hubby Alex, and promotional parties to attend (Stephanie wears a rather fetching peach ballgown to the party, complete with new hairstyle and sexy lingerie that Gray happened to see just before the party - and it probably took every ounce of self control he had to not carry her straight to bed immediately after that).
She notices a couple things odd about Carla - how normal her reactions around Gray seem coming from someone who has been having an affair with him, how in love with her husband she looks and obvs how Stephanie would have really warmed up to her if she didn't know Carla was cheating on her openly adoring husband with Gray.
The day of the race approaches and unfortunately by the middle of the race, Stephanie gets a report that claims Gray and his boat are missing (we find out later that the report was wrong, the boat was fine, and Gray left it for a bit because a boat of a similar size capsized and he had to rescue the rider). She takes a long, long walk in grief, believing Gray is dead, but returns to find him at home and worried for her. While he lost the race, the boat proved its mettle and he was hailed as a local hero, which means plenty more sales for the boatyard.
Having been faced with the prospect of losing Gray, she pretty much seduces him and for the first time since I started reading Penny Jordan, I'm seeing an 80s-90s PJ book with TWO detailed sex scenes rather than just one (I'll probably be proven wrong as I go through her bibliography further - but I've noticed there will be one major scene that will be explored in loving detail, and the rest will either be detailed makeout scenes or a heavily implied short scene. So this was a pleasant surprise but I feel it definitely worked for this heroine particularly).
The next morning, aglow with love, Stephanie catches a snippet of a conversation between Carla and Gray (Carla expresses discomfort at "decieving" Stephanie), and believes that Gray still loves Carla and wants to be with her instead. When he goes to the boatyard for a bit, she runs away from the cottage in her yellow Volkswagen (every 80s PJ I have read thus far seems to have the h running away in some capacity or the other, leaving her H a complete puddle of angst).
Luckily for her and Gray, Carla manages to see her driving away, stops her, takes Stephanie to her car and explains to her for TWO WHOLE HOURS that no, Gray and Carla aren't having an affair and that Gray has been head-over-heels for Stephanie since she was 17. Two hours - that's the time it takes for Stephanie to realize what took us the readers two minutes.
She returns home to find poor Gray a sad, passed-out, hungover puddle of angst on the sofa, wakes him up and reveals she's loves him too. For the HEA, Gray has her stay with Carla and her husband so he can court her properly the way he'd always wanted to, and they get married after three weeks of serious wooing.
Gray is another amazing example of a hero who has been smitten from the very beginning, and his PoV scenes are few but really impactful. I also found the frustration he was going through (and that Stephanie kept misinterpreting) quite relatable - he's been in love with her for almost 11 years and he's losing any hope that she'll ever come to see him differently. Even without his PoV you can tell he's pretty much at the end of his tether when he calls Stephanie to stay at his cottage. And his determination to get to the root of her fears and hangups and help her, too, was so heartwarming.
Is the plan to rope in Carla for a pretense, stupid? It sure is, and Gray and Carla themselves aren't comfortable with the situation by the end of it all. But I also think it's a measure of how well he knows the h, and how well perhaps Carla can read into Stephanie's response to a potential rival, that the two hatch up such a plan. Because the dumbass plan DOES work to an extent, and Stephanie DOES have to put herself in the uncomfortable position of seeing Gray as a man, of admitting she finds him desirable. Stephanie clearly needs to feel like she could lose him before she can even begin to work on her hangups.
Stephanie's cluenessness can be frustrating sometimes but I also put it down to how young she was when she was in an abusive relationship that broke her in so many ways, and how reluctant she was to seek help because she blamed herself for Paul's abuse of her. While she doesn't love Paul, she definitely did believe some of his wrongful judgements of her (eg that she is "frigid") and fears that any attempts to have a relationship will prove him right. That does do a real number on one's sense of self-worth.
PJ also seems to subtly indicate a journey from Stephanie's end on how she perceives her marriage to Paul. She doesn't tell anyone about what he put her through - not even Gray who she trusts the most - and in living that lie for years, she tends to soften some of the most traumatic things he's done to her. For instance, she first thinks that her vague memories of Paul attempting to murder her must be in her head...but it's clear when Gray rescues her at their sailing excursion that she believes her own perception of events. She tends to blame herself for not being desirable enough, which is why she is so reluctant to believe Gray could love *her*. I thought both this and her fear of the sea was handled really well.
I thought the atmosphere of the setting was done really well too. It's set in a coastal area and both the main characters are experienced sailors, and the fact that one of them exhibits a fear of the sea that she once loved coursing through sets up some great conflict. You get a lot of know-how relating to boat safety and construction, but not in a way that can overwhelm you if you're unfamiliar and it adds to the romance. Of particular note is the scene where Stephanie is anxious as Gray is testing his boat, and plans what will help him relax at home (because of her own sailing experience, she knows what kind of food would be best, and what Gray would need most at home), and the scene where Gray goes through the whole safety procedure before sailing so that she feels safe.
I also loved how Stephanie's memories of her own relationship with Gray unravel over time. We find out midway through the book that she did have a crush on him (and she pinpoints an actual incident that kickstarted it) as a teen, that her visits to the estuary began because she wanted to see him but then Paul made a move while Gray was keeping his respectful distance (as he should have!). It reminded me a bit of Jake and Rosie in "Yesterday's Echoes" (also a PJ book)...but an additional point goes to this book for making the h's earlier attraction to the H a bit clearer than the other book did. As Stephanie was just a teen then, I can imagine why she was so swayed by Paul and why it takes her so long to recall that it was Gray she'd always wanted (it's hinted that she could have repressed those memories and feelings in part due to the snide remarks Paul would make about Gray fancying her, which made her uncomfortable when she was still married to him).
I obviously never read Harlequin for the OWs or OMs (unless of course they have their own books later haha), but Carla is one of my all-time favourite OWs. She operates in the way most "smokescreen OWs" (I mean the ones that actually don't have designs on the heroes but are actually just friends with them instead) do, but she also does a lot of the work in the end by sitting patiently with Stephanie and convincing her of Gray's love because she knows Gray can't. There are also subtle hints throughout the book that along with pretending to be a rival, she has been helping Gray in his attempts to understand Stephanie. I thought she and Alex were a fabulous source of support for the leads and almost searched for whether PJ had given them a book earlier (she didn't).
On the whole I really loved the book and the characters, and I'm beginning to love whatever I've explored of Penny Jordan's writing so far.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 27, 2014
I really enjoyed reading this book although it isn't really a very good example of Jordan's work. It's not a romance as such but more the tale of a woman getting over her abusive husband's mistreatment of her. It's set in a seaside town - I'm thinking somewhere like Lymington/Isle of Wight way as it refers to her driving down through the New Forest when she first returns there. This is also a departure for Jordan as she normally goes for the Cotswalds/her native Cheshire, occasionally London and sometimes (in the time when Desert romances were in fashion) in the middle of a fictional "Arabian" country. The male lead is not (again a departure) a millionaire - in fact, he's an impoverished boat yard owner who's trying to make good with his new yacht design. After that, it all gets a bit Howard's Way (remember that?) with the heroine bursting into tears everytime a gale threatens to blow the new yacht off course. In fact, she spends much of her time in tears and only really takes a break from crying to don various items of peach-coloured clothing (ball gowns, and on one occasion, what seems to be some kind of onesie). Well it was written in the 80s after all - a time when Howard's Way and the colour peach was at its height. I used to hate Howard's Way when it was on on a Sunday night - it was much better when the BBC replaced it with Lovejoy, the loveable antique peddling rogue. I just couldn't relate to the billionaire lifestyle of the yacht owning classes depicted in Howard's Way (I was brought up in landlocked Manchester in a working class family - need I say more...) Anyway, I couldn't relate to this all that much either, but it is an easy read and despite the hero mishandling nearly all aspects of his courtship of the heroine, and despite the fact that the heroine spends most of her time weeping, this book is not without its charms.
May 31, 2023
Not the best PJ, not the worst but one of the first I read so I do rather love it. It’s also a bit of M&B does Howard’s Way - start singing the theme tune now….
Heroine is a quiet type who we find out through the book has been in an abusive marriage, abusive to the extent that ex husband tried to drown her but conveniently died himself.
Hero turns out to have been smouldering in the background since the heroine was below legal age, waiting for her to get a bit older before the awful ex skipped in. He runs a boatyard and his new design could be the making of the yard if only he does well in the big race,
Much angst of the PJ speciality, the heroine spends most of her time in tears and big jumpers as she hangs around helping the hero at the yard despite her fear of boats and water. Much distant smouldering from the hero who does the vintage-rom phsycho analytical bit and decides they have to go sailing. It all ends in tears before bedtime as the heroine loves it, gets scared, is overtired and falls in the water.
Cue some expert yet impersonal undressing, bathing and sponging by the hero as she had to get out of those wet clothes (always good to help). Just add a glass of wine and a casserole and she’s fessing up that it was just like it was when her ex tried to drown her. The wine casts away all those inhibitions and there she is clinging to his dressing gown trying to snuggle up and banish all those bad memories.
Big rescue sex scene where guess what she’s not frigid she just didn’t have the love-mojo-magic with the ex, she had it in bundles with the hero tho.
Somewhere along the line the hero seems to have capsized in the big race - heroine goes out for a walk that must have lasted several hours as the hero has time to rescue a fellow competitor, skip the race, rush home, get a fire lit in the grate and be waiting anxiously when she comes home. Cue fireside sex scene.
There is another woman, a big misunderstanding that she and the hero are having a a thing, turns out she’s just a friend and psychologist who is helping the hero get thro to the heroine. In a typical PJ ‘pants i only have 20 pages to go how do I get to the end’ the hero gets drunk as the heroine has left, the other woman pops up and flags down the heroines getaway vehicle just to move the plot along in typical PJ ‘he loves you - go and tell him you love him’ stylle. Off she trots.
In another ‘time moves differently in PJ world’ moment the H has had time to realise the h has left him, get drunk and fall asleep so she can kiss him awake for the big declaration. She managed to drive a few miles away and then meet the not-OW, have the big chat then rush back. Can’t work that one out.
You can tell it’s set in the 80s, she gets married in a peach ball gown. Shudder. Still love the book but it’s a happy memory of reading it when young and impressionable, not because it’s an awesome book.
Heroine is a quiet type who we find out through the book has been in an abusive marriage, abusive to the extent that ex husband tried to drown her but conveniently died himself.
Hero turns out to have been smouldering in the background since the heroine was below legal age, waiting for her to get a bit older before the awful ex skipped in. He runs a boatyard and his new design could be the making of the yard if only he does well in the big race,
Much angst of the PJ speciality, the heroine spends most of her time in tears and big jumpers as she hangs around helping the hero at the yard despite her fear of boats and water. Much distant smouldering from the hero who does the vintage-rom phsycho analytical bit and decides they have to go sailing. It all ends in tears before bedtime as the heroine loves it, gets scared, is overtired and falls in the water.
Cue some expert yet impersonal undressing, bathing and sponging by the hero as she had to get out of those wet clothes (always good to help). Just add a glass of wine and a casserole and she’s fessing up that it was just like it was when her ex tried to drown her. The wine casts away all those inhibitions and there she is clinging to his dressing gown trying to snuggle up and banish all those bad memories.
Big rescue sex scene where guess what she’s not frigid she just didn’t have the love-mojo-magic with the ex, she had it in bundles with the hero tho.
Somewhere along the line the hero seems to have capsized in the big race - heroine goes out for a walk that must have lasted several hours as the hero has time to rescue a fellow competitor, skip the race, rush home, get a fire lit in the grate and be waiting anxiously when she comes home. Cue fireside sex scene.
There is another woman, a big misunderstanding that she and the hero are having a a thing, turns out she’s just a friend and psychologist who is helping the hero get thro to the heroine. In a typical PJ ‘pants i only have 20 pages to go how do I get to the end’ the hero gets drunk as the heroine has left, the other woman pops up and flags down the heroines getaway vehicle just to move the plot along in typical PJ ‘he loves you - go and tell him you love him’ stylle. Off she trots.
In another ‘time moves differently in PJ world’ moment the H has had time to realise the h has left him, get drunk and fall asleep so she can kiss him awake for the big declaration. She managed to drive a few miles away and then meet the not-OW, have the big chat then rush back. Can’t work that one out.
You can tell it’s set in the 80s, she gets married in a peach ball gown. Shudder. Still love the book but it’s a happy memory of reading it when young and impressionable, not because it’s an awesome book.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 29, 2021
Stephanie married at 17 to Paul after a very brief courtship. Paul was physically and emotionally abusive to Stephanie and she fell out of love quickly but was stuck in her marriage until Paul died in a sailing accident. His cousin, Gray, has been a friend and support system for Stephanie ever since. The book starts with Gray asking Stephanie to come stay with him and run the boatyard business while he works on a racing boat that he plans to use in a professional race to drum up business. What Stephanie doesn't realize is that Gray has loved her for over a decade. Their forced proximity and a fake OW finally makes Stephanie wake up to the fact that she has less than platonic feelings for Gray.
What I liked about this book was the time that PJ dedicated to Stephanie experiencing joy in sex. For someone who was physically abused for being frigid, I was happy to see that proven wrong by some TLC by Gray. In a lot of vintage HPs by PJ, sex is fade into black or very brief. Stephanie and Gray have a fairly long first time scene and thereafter, some more short but also steamy scenes. I'm really happy this couple found their HEA and that Gray is a worthy hero. A favorite by PJ.
What I liked about this book was the time that PJ dedicated to Stephanie experiencing joy in sex. For someone who was physically abused for being frigid, I was happy to see that proven wrong by some TLC by Gray. In a lot of vintage HPs by PJ, sex is fade into black or very brief. Stephanie and Gray have a fairly long first time scene and thereafter, some more short but also steamy scenes. I'm really happy this couple found their HEA and that Gray is a worthy hero. A favorite by PJ.
February 12, 2021
In my opinion Penny Jordan is in that outstanding class of HP writers, such as Charlotte Lamb and Patricia Wilson.
The scene in which he enters his bedroom completely naked and he sees her standing there and he rushes to stand before the bedroom door so she can’t run away from his room. I don’t know why, but I found that scene far more erotic than many of the modern writers erotic (or sex) scenes. I could almost feel his need or his want for her to look at him, to really see him. Wow, just wow.
I would have given this book 5 stars, but it doesn’t sit well with me that 11 years ago, she fell for his cousin and she married his cousin while she already had met him. He should have been her number 1 then, now and always. Just like she is for him.
The scene in which he enters his bedroom completely naked and he sees her standing there and he rushes to stand before the bedroom door so she can’t run away from his room. I don’t know why, but I found that scene far more erotic than many of the modern writers erotic (or sex) scenes. I could almost feel his need or his want for her to look at him, to really see him. Wow, just wow.
I would have given this book 5 stars, but it doesn’t sit well with me that 11 years ago, she fell for his cousin and she married his cousin while she already had met him. He should have been her number 1 then, now and always. Just like she is for him.
March 7, 2021
Για την αγάπη της Στέφανι - Penny Jordan, Συλλογή, 907
August 15, 2011
One of those extremely angsty HPs. Heroine is a widow who had an abusive marriage, but now finds herself returning to the town where they used to live and her husbands best friend. After all his help he now asks her to help him get rid of an annoying suitress. (What's the female version of suitor?).
Stephanie has a lot of ghosts in her closet, and it doesn't help that she's been keeping it secret for all those years. Gray is mostly understanding, though he's also a bit scheming.
The dress on the cover actually plays a role in the story!
Stephanie has a lot of ghosts in her closet, and it doesn't help that she's been keeping it secret for all those years. Gray is mostly understanding, though he's also a bit scheming.
The dress on the cover actually plays a role in the story!
September 11, 2017
A sad back story but I found myself truly rooting for her to be triumphant in the end which, of course, she was.
February 13, 2022
Previous Rating - 4/5 stars.
It was a good book for its time, but the lack of communication got to me during the re-read. So subtracting a star.
It was a good book for its time, but the lack of communication got to me during the re-read. So subtracting a star.
June 29, 2020
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