In Rash by Pete Hautman, the main character, Bo, lives in the author's interesting perspective of late twenty-first century America. Being kind-of a rebel, Bo spends most of his life running: From being caught doing something robot controllers won't like, being in trouble with his family, being in trouble with his girlfriend, avoiding trouble he's already in and avoiding trouble he knows is yet to come. He spends most of his life running, physically and metaphorically, and in a way, so do I.
I've always ran away from troubles so that I don't have to face them. I know that's not healthy. Whenever I know somebody is angry at me, I avoid any sort of contact with them.
Once, a girl I am no longer friends with was going to confront me about how she thought I was lying when I said I had plans. (I was, but that's not the point of the story.) The point of the story was that I was so afraid of confrontation that I literally ran from her from three days. I had people whisper to me that she was coming,and I made up excuses for my constant need to use the bathroom. In the end, all that running just gave me more to deal with than if I had let her confront me in the first place.
Hopefully without sounding too mean, this girl was a girl who nobody really likes, and who I did not want to be friends with anyways. When I remember her chasing after me, I am reminded of a scene in Rash.
Bo had just escaped his factory/training camp in the arctic wasteland of Canada. He was being chased by robot polar bears who he had heard would tear him into tiny pieces before they ate him. The way he kept running and running as the polar bear viciously drew nearer and nearer to him, well, as I said it kind of reminds me of my experience with that girl.
I think running is something we all do. I think we all try to run away from our problems, and in doing so just make the problem bigger. I mean, don't you run away? Running is the easiest way to have peace, even if it is only short-lived. Running provides sort-of a safe haven, where you can pretend everything is happy and peaceful.
I have a friend who has been running away from her feelings toward her friend for the whole year, and is only now starting to realize how much that friend terrorizes her. She is only now defending herself. My other friends and I had known for the whole year how mean the girl is, but our friend just kept pushing these thoughts away.
This is what I think everybody does. Short term, you are happiest if you push your problems away from you. Long term, it just hacks away at you.
In Rash, Bo was safe for a while as he hid from his girlfriend, Maddy. She was angry at Bo for yelling at a guy who he thought was being too flirty with her.
Although he had time to plan out how he was going to act, he succeeded in making her only more angry by hiding from her.
While running is a bad idea, I don't recommend stepping up and facing your problems either. It's kind of a lose-lose situation.
Remember the girl I ran away from? Well eventually I let her confront me. I let her tell me all about how she thought I didn't like her, and how sad it made her feel inside. I knew it was bullshit, and I knew that when I apologized, she would continue to be mean to me. So i told her that I didn't want to be her friend, that I felt like she pressured me into doing everything with her and that she was unkind to me.
What good that came out of that was that now I am no longer friends with her. But much more bad came out. I felt like the meanest person in the world because of what she said to me and what I said to her.
When Bo finally outran the Polar bears, he still faced the trouble of the eskimos he had heard to be unkind, and if he avoided the eskimos he would face starvation. A lose-lose situation.
I hate that that can happen. I hate that there are problems we all face that just can't be resolved. It just reinforces the idea that the world is unfair. But you know what,
that's a problem that can't be solved either.