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Homo Action Love Story! A tall tale

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Boots McHenry and his boyfriend Ryan are young superstars in the North American Paintball League, a high-stakes sport where losers face exile -- five full years of it, on an island so secret no one can be sure it even exists. After Ryan has a tragic collision with an opposing team's paintball, the rules of the game force the boyfriends apart.

Boots is shattered without Ryan, so when his best friend Clemente Santiago suggests a daring, high-seas mission to find the island and reunite the pair, Boots jumps at the chance. They assemble a crack team to join them, including fashion model and mixed-martial-arts champ Colby Kroft, hunky-but-shy sea-captain Marcus Tumble, and Piper Pernfors, the ex who's aching to make Boots forget Ryan ever existed.

HOMO ACTION LOVE STORY! is a lighthearted, sex-filled adventure from the author of THE CRANBERRY HUSH and THE PAINTING OF PORCUPINE CITY. It's a perfect storm of beautiful fishermen, murderous pirates, blossoming romances, and secrets that call almost everyone's motives into question. Land, ho! This page-turner is sure to float your boat.

362 pages, Paperback

First published November 25, 2012

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751 people want to read

About the author

Ben Monopoli

6 books440 followers
Ben Monopoli lives in Boston with his husband, Chris. His newest book is Mateo Was Here: A Novella.

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 106 reviews
Profile Image for Jay Bell.
Author 44 books2,227 followers
August 6, 2016
Trying to get a feel for this book before you buy? Hate spoilers? Pull up a chair and let me break it down for you. The first thing you’ll discover about Homo Action Love Story! is how sexually charged it is. Usually that sends me scurrying away from any book, since I prefer sappy and sweet, but it quickly becomes obvious that Monopoli can write long detailed sex scenes that are fun and playful. This is the sort of sex long-term partners find together—comfortable, but scorching hot at the same time. So even though I normally prefer less sex and more romance, Monopoli soon loosened me up (yeah yeah, I know) and had me looking forward to the next tumble in bed.

Like his previous books, the essence of this one is about relationships. Dealing with separation, loyalty, unrequited love, ex-boyfriends, crushes, and even first and last times. Because the sex is more graphic this time around, Monopoli is better able to explore relationships in-depth, meaning the whole gamut of experience is there. As the novel progresses, it slowly eases into more familiar territory. If you’re worried that romance takes a back seat in this novel, don’t. There’s definitely a lot of love in this book to get you sighing and misty eyed.

The setting of Homo Action Love Story! is interesting. Set in the near future, Monopoli fast forwards our era to a time when sexual transmitted diseases are no longer a threat, homosexuality isn’t controversial, and people are a little more liberal with their bodies. This isn’t a future full of hover cars and robot maids. It’s very much like our world today, except without haters ruining all the fun. This creates the perfect playground for Monopoli to spin a wild tale. And yes, there are pirates, fashion models, and paintball pros, but each of the characters are handled with care and have depth. Likewise, every conflict has gravitas. There are no slapstick situations or resolutions in this book.

Ultimately, Homo Action Love Story! is a playful tale containing disarmingly astute commentary on what makes us tick. Sex is a force of nature in this book, but so is love. The characters set out on a journey of self-discovery, and by the time you the reader set the book down, you’ll likely have learned something about yourself as well.
Profile Image for Heather K (dentist in my spare time).
4,113 reviews6,782 followers
July 16, 2013
I was zilla let down by this book

I had very high expectations coming into this story. Most of my GR friends love this one and it has a 4.54 average rating! A sure thing, right?? Alas, this book didn't work for me. Why? I blame the fickle bastard named Boots.

The book takes place sometime in the future where pro paintball has replaced the NFL and everyone seems to be gay (there are literally no straight characters!). Boots and Ryan are boyfriends who happen to play on the same paintball team. They are two years strong in their relationship and unstoppable on and off the paintball field. However, when Ryan gets hit during one of their games and sent to exile for 5 years (a more stupid rule I could not have fathomed), will their relationship survive the test of time or will Boots be tempted by all the other beautiful men who want him?

Okay, what did I like about this book? There was certainly a lot of homo action! The action part was pretty cool. There are plenty of sports and fighting scenes that kept the book interesting. And the sex scenes were all pretty scorching. I also really loved the secondary characters. They all (even Piper, that weasel) were sexy and funny and awesome in their own ways. And I give major props for the writing (it was well done, I'll admit). However, the main character of Boots irked the crap out of me. Overall, this was NOT my idea of a romance.

**The rest of the review is one giant ranty spoiler so it will be hidden in spoiler tags**

Profile Image for M.
1,213 reviews174 followers
November 28, 2012
Homo Action Love Story: A Titular Analysis

Homo: The veracity of this, the first of the sequence of title words, cannot be argued. This is indeed a very "homo" novel. All of the main characters are homosexual to various degrees. As for the supporting characters, I cannot say. Although I suspect some of them are probably homo as well. There are very few female characters and I cannot comment on their sexuality, only to say that one female is called Lucinda Skullcrusher and if that is not a lesbian epithet, I don't know my lesbian epithets very well. There is also a surprising amount of sex (or near-sex) in this book. Homosex, of course, none of it marred by any girl bits. And very hot homosex indeed. One homo aspect that I very much enjoyed was the vision of a future where sexuality is a non-issue and people may love and/or sleep with whomever they please.

Action: Ah, action. That difficult to define and even-more-difficult-to-successfully-write-about word (used here as an adjective and neither a noun nor verb). In my humble opinion, the action is the most successful part of this novel. At first we have action in the form of professional-league paintball. (And if you'll permit me a brief aside here: I understand sport the way a person blind from birth understands colour, that is to say that the neurons responsible for the understanding of sport just failed to develop in my brain, and thus I have no interesting in nor concept of competitive sport. This brings me to my point: professional paintball is a sport I could get behind 100%. For it is awesome.) Professional paintball is to the mildly futuristic world in this book what American football is to America, what hockey is to (?)Canada and what soccer is the rest of the world. And our hero(es) are mostly professional paintballers. We see them in glorious action on the paintball field. We also see the price of failure in professional paintball, and this price is exile to a mysterious island for 5 years if one is "simu-killed". A simu-death sparks the next bit of action, in which our heroes decide to visit said island in order to find a simu-dead boyfriend/teammate. This bit of actions takes the form of a boat trip; replete with trash-pirates, sharks, a daring rescue and some MMA fighting. Yes, the action was indeed spectacular, and what makes it even better is that there is about as much adventure as there is action. Some of the action (sexual and otherwise) has a lovely, dreamy quality as well, but I will refrain from describing these scenes as Mr. Monopoli has done them justice enough.

Love: Ultimately this is a romance novel, and the romance is what raises conflicting feelings. Alas, I cannot say too much about why my poor feelings were conflicted, lest I give too much away. But I believe the conflict stems from the narrator, whom I have neglected to mention until now: Boots McHenry. I am not sure whether or not I like Boots; he seems simple, but has strange, eddying depths that catch you unawares from time to time. There is a quiet desperation about him that lends an uneasy contrast to the blueness of the water and the vastness of the sky. I believe that the way the romance is handled is what will cause readers to either like or dislike this book. But yes, there is love abundant and it is love that spurs the action and love that is comfort in the end.

Story: When all is said, though, this is one zilla awesome story.
864 reviews229 followers
April 10, 2013

3.5 stars

I write this review in 1st person present POV as the book is written
It feels like reading an instruction manual or a recipe card.

This book IS: refreshing and fun and random and testosterone-filled and GFY and zilla cool.
This book IS NOT: really a true romance and not 100% engaging and not consistent and not what I hoped for.

Parts of it I love.
Parts of it bore me.

I have a blast at the beginning and the end.
I skim the entire middle.

Apparently, boys can fall out of love like *snap* that.
Apparently, boys can fall in love like *snap* that.

I think I will remember the premise of the story for a long time.
I think I will forget every character’s name in a week.

Being a professional paintball player sounds cool.
Being a 24-year old rich hot horny narrator sounds annoying (at least in my head).

It must be nice to only run into beautiful people.
It must be zilla scary to run into pirates.

Net/net, I like it.
Overall, I do not love it.

I do, however, recommend it. I think you will like it more than I do.
Profile Image for Teal.
609 reviews254 followers
January 18, 2020
This is just a placeholder, but I swear I'll do a real review after my next reread.

In the meantime, if I only had a single word to describe this book to you, that word would be: Fun!

What, you want more words? Here you go: Fun fun fun!

Catch my drift?

I read it 2 years ago (and then immediately did a reread), and am itching to read it again. Just thinking about the story and the characters makes me smile, even after all this time, so I'm going to bump my rating up to 5 stars, because, yeah.
Profile Image for Optimist ♰King's Wench♰.
1,829 reviews3,979 followers
January 27, 2015
Silly Fun!

I don't even know what to say about this book. I'm going with tagging it as scfy, but it's kind of a satire as well as an adventure. There were some feels that added poignancy, but didn't tip the scales to overkill. All of it is farfetched and kept me entertained.

Boots McHenry is a professional paintballer along with his boyfriend, Ryan, when we first meet them. All of the story is told from Boots' perspective and let me tell you, Boots is a dude. He calls everyone dude, he thinks like a dude, he acts like a dude-not dumb, just a dude. A pretty entertaining dude at that. At any rate, paintball is like professional soccer in this society, so he and his boyfriend are under the microscope all the time. It's clear from the get-go that something is amiss with Ryan. Their team, Theban Warriors, are contenders for The Splatter Cup and during a big match Ryan gets "killed". When you get "killed" in professional paintball you are sent to exile island for 5 years. Immediately.

What do you do when your boyfriend unexpectedly gets taken away from you for 5 years? Well, first you hook up with your straight best friend, Clemente, in an epic butt cherry popping event wherein the sheets got ripped because they were both so sweaty it was hard getting traction for the pounding.

"Honestly, it's not so different from these MMAC fights, except that there's jizz at the end."


description

Then, you charter a boat and set out to find exile island so you can have a powwow with your newly estranged boyfriend. This is the most ragtag bunch of rescuers I've ever come across. I mean, who organizes a team comprised of their ex-boyfriend who's still got it bad for Boots, their pound buddy who you shredded the sheets with, your boyfriend's brother and your boyfriend's replacement's brother on the team as the captain? Who does that? Boots McHenry, that's who. Technically, it was Clemente's idea, but still. It made for some high seas hijinks to be sure.

Piper, Colby, Marcus, Clemente and Boots make a good team when the "plastic" pirates hijack their yacht. The plastic pirates are a ill-kempt and stinky bunch who picked the wrong professional paintballers to fuck with. Eighteen hours in the Pacific and witnessing a shark attack can't stop these dudes! Waterproof smartphone will fix that deal. Suck it, plastic pirates!

description

Throughout the trip the tension between Boots and Clemente builds and builds but the specter of Ryan looms between them.

Some guys are cute and you want to pinch their cheeks and make sure they get home OK. Some guys are hot and you want them to bend you over a barrel and pound heaven into you.


I will admit I was uncomfortable with what I interpreted as a quick rebound time initially, but Boots' and Clemente's chemistry cannot be denied. Truthfully, I liked all of these dudes, probably Colby the most because of his exuberance and joie de vivre or maybe his name… Even Piper I kept thinking his heart was in the right place even though it's clear Boots isn't returning to his fuck truck any time soon. Poor guy. Despite the cockamamie premise of Homo Action Love Story!, I found the characters authentic and the relational aspects between them very organic along with the dialogue only with speedboats, pirates, shark attacks and typical action hero antics thrown in to push the story forward.

In a word, popcorn entertainment. Oh wait, that's 2 words. Oops.

A special thank you to Mr. Monopoli for 'BILF' and 'dudenheimer'. *pets new words*

Recommend for GFY and adventure fans.

Many thanks to The Stallion for choosing this for me. I'm certain had he not pointed it out, I'd never have run across it.

Read the rest of the CANDYLAND THUNDERDOME shenanigans HERE

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Profile Image for ttg.
451 reviews162 followers
January 5, 2013
3.5 stars – This one was a miss with me, which is too bad because I actually love action/adventure stories.

What I liked: The writing is good and smooth, and the author inserts a lot of visual details in his description so the narration is often very interesting.

I also like the strange far-future setting with its paint ball leagues and super-fast hydro boats, and the story idea is neat—Our MC Boots, who is facing a five-year separation from Ryan, his teammate and lover of two years, when Ryan is sent to a literal island of exiled players after being “killed” in a game. With a team of fellow paintball players, including both his ex and also another player he’s very drawn to, as well as Ryan’s MMA-fighting younger brother, Boots takes on the mission of finding the island. He’s not going to rescue Ryan from his multi-million dollar contract obligations though, but to find some kind of closure. See, they never had talked about what exile would mean for their relationship, thinking it would never happen to them, but there’s no contact allowed over the five years, and Boots wants some kind of idea of how to move forward.

Sounds kind of romantic, right? Like Odysseus on the seas, traveling that long journey back to Ithaca? And it’s kind of like the Odyssey, especially with some of the trials and dangers they face, as well as the fact that Boots sleeps around on the way to his closure (just like Odysseus did on the way back to his waiting Penelope.)

It’s that latter point that was one of the kickers for me. It’s possible that I’m not enough in the “monogamish” mindset, but I had a hard time empathizing with Boots as the story went on. I understand his conflict, but at the same time, I found his vacillating over his relationships frustrating and distancing. Days after Ryan’s forced departure from the stadium, Boots is sad and emo and struggling, but distracts himself with sleeping with his straight team mate. This is a major move and the beginning of his own personal transition, but at the same time, he is later distracted by the hotness of his ex, he sleeps with a very cute (and lube-happy) fan on the journey, and there’s even one point where he’s ogling Ryan’s brother Colby and briefly fantasizing about pulling his swim trunks down to see (and maybe do) more. Even though Boots was upfront about not planning on waiting celibate for Ryan’s return, I wasn’t super into the Man Buffet he waffled over and occasional sampled in along the way.

I wish actually that the story followed Colby’s journey because his character was such a shining star in each scene he was in. And in a way his mission, to see his brother again, was far less muddled, but he also got his own hot love story on the journey. I really appreciated his upbeat, youthful, and straight-forward nature, and he added a lot of energy, so I wish there had been a lot more of him. (At one point, the team separates at a port in Mexico for the evening, and Boots, his ex, and his straight teammate that he’d slept with before go in one direction, and Colby and Marcus, the ship's captain, go in another, and I really wanted to follow Colby, but he is not the narrator so no go.)

Another thing that bothered me was that there’s a reveal near the end that I thought made things too easy for our Odysseus. Ironically so, since the reveal is about taking the easy way out. I would have liked it if it would have been harder. Not angsty, not drama, but after all that waffling, I would have liked Boots on his own two feet, taking a stand and leaving it at that.

Last, for having “Action” in the title, there isn’t actually a lot of action (outside of some sexy times) until over 60% of the book, and even then, it’s maybe…15-20%? I kind of wish that if this was a tall tale of love and action and grandness, if all that stuff had been paced throughout the book as opposed to that section.

Your mileage will vary though because this book has a lot of positive reviews, so what bothered me may not bother you at all. For me though, the disconnection to the MC and such made this more of a push to finish.

Sign me up though if Colby gets his own book. That kid is awesome.
Profile Image for Bec.
89 reviews5 followers
June 1, 2016
This was fantastic - gay fantasty fic not m/m bullshit that has to follow some heteronormative stupid rules about monogamy and hearts on fire forever.
Finally found some fun gay fiction that fits in more to my friend's realities of male life than the make believe 'everyone wants weddings and babies'rubbish that is m/m of late (sorry rant over)
This was such a breath of fresh air -action, fun, feels, hotness and answers to questions the mc is searching for. There was also actually a story with a plot that had some depth.
I really enjoyed it
No slut shaming bullshit, hook ups were allowed and weren't treated like that's it forever and ever till we die.

As i said - fantastic! Want some more and will be chasing up this author - Thank you! Sorry it took me so long to find this :)
Profile Image for ♣ Irish Smurfétté ♣.
716 reviews164 followers
March 1, 2016
Full Reviewage on Prism Book Alliance®

Opening paragraph and I’m already grinning, digging this writing, hoping it’s a good sign for the entire book.

”I don’t know why I still get so nervous,” he whispers, pretty brown eyes hidden behind the shades.

“It’s cute,” I assure him, and give his hangnail-finger a squeeze. Like a boulder on his knuckle is last year’s Splatter Cup ring. “You’re a killing machine in the stadium but behind the cameras you’re just a bashful boy.”

“Shut up, poo face.”

I rub the back of his neck and he touches the bridge of his nose to keep his shades in place.


Small gestures, intimate moments, and humor. All good things to use in telling a story and introducing characters, giving me as the reader some things on which to hang my hat, take a seat, and start the ride.

I thought I knew where this ride would take me, what the main event would be, but I was wrong. Unexpected twists and unforeseen paths are often the name of the game in this book. This story starts off almost subdued, character centric, and introspective thanks to our narrator, Boots. Well, as introspective as 20 and early 30-yr olds can be while surrounded by the world of professional paintball in what feels like a not too distant future. I think this fact is what allowed me to accept some of the actions some of these characters take, which felt either a little off kilter or out of step sometimes.

I very much like the group dynamics on display here, between friends, teammates, current boyfriends, exes, and more, and how people can surprise you. And disappoint you. And push your buttons. And have your back, even when it’s up against the emotional wall. The exploration of these characters as they experience new things, new emotional responses, how their own behaviors can surprise them. Complex characterization, yo. And diversity, at that.

The writing itself sails smoothly along for the most part. There are some instances of awkward sentence structure, my brain stumbling through the clunky passages. It’s in these places where it feels like I’m reading what the author was thinking as opposed to writing it from the character’s point of view. Even so, the heart and openness demonstrated throughout this story, especially by Boots, kept me moving past the imperfections in the prose. They also helped shape my understanding of this author’s voice. Imperfections don’t always translate to failure. Often they provide nuance and subtle flavor, insight into the characters by revealing the thoughts and feelings the author is exploring.

After a minute I say, “Is it weird that I like doing this?”

“What, washing dishes?”

“It’s soothing or something.”

“You just like it because I chill with you while you’re doing it,” he says, and he’s right – I like everything about him sitting there, from the hollow thumping sound his heels make against the cupboard door, to the smell of his sunblock, to the tone of his voice in this small, pink-walled space.


This scene makes me feel… content. I’m a contented reader in this moment, enjoying the direction of the story, no longer trying to forecast what’s coming next. I’ve been continuously taken by surprise so I’ve let go and am just rolling with it. I think both Boots and Santiago are possibly maybe trying to get to that state of mind, too. Again with the intimate, humorous, sweet moment informing me about these characters, keeping the story moving forward while allowing the characters to experience a natural progression of their own.

Just like the rest of this story, the ending was unexpected, in a good way. It did feel a little rushed, almost like the author couldn’t wait to get there, either. It had everything: the imaginative detail, the filling of every nook and delicious cranny with a fabulous sense of place, and the capping off a solidly laid back yet plump story with an adrenalized finale. Man, I just have to say more about this author and their ability to describe the physical surroundings and imbue them with every sense, taking their time, giving me much detail upon which to gnaw without wandering into obvs-landia and overdoing it. I could feel the pains of awkwardness and frustration, the physical and emotional tolls of injury, and the depth of the motivations of these characters while still holding some things back – there’s more than meets the eye here. Yes, physical description accomplished all of that.

I loved spending time with these characters and I didn’t want this story to end… even though I stayed up way too late in order to finish reading it.
Ben Monopoli is a new-to-me author and I want more. Luckily, I’ve got just that waiting for me on my kindle. :)
Profile Image for Skye Kilaen.
Author 19 books376 followers
April 29, 2023
Maybe not quite a romance, but very romance-adjacent. The setup seems a bit silly, and Monopoli even subtitles it “a tall tale,” but like the other Monopoli books I’ve read, there’s serious emotional punch here.

Boots McHenry and his boyfriend Ryan are professional paintball players in a world where it’s the most celebrated international sport. To keep stakes high, any player shot with a paintball is exiled for five years to a secret island. When Ryan is hit and exiled, his last words to Boots are lost in the roar of chopper blades. Boots’s friend and teammate Clemente Santiago urges him on a mission to find the island so he can have the convo Boots and Ryan should have had about their future before tragedy struck.

This is NOT a book for anyone who needs their main characters to only have sex with each other! Boots is a mess, reeling from the sudden loss of Ryan, completely unprepared to feel such heartbreak, but also freaked out by the idea of putting his life on hold for five years. Some of his resulting messy choices lead to complications, some of them lead to solutions. There’s a tangled web of love and attraction between Boots, Ryan, Clem, and Boots’s ex and teammate Piper, and part of Boots’s journey to the island is also his journey figuring out how to untangle that web - which is a lot harder to do when most of the people involved are keeping secrets.

Do we get an HFN/HEA for Boots? Yes. Do we also get a dramatic pirate attack and an open-water rescue? Yes! Do we get a sweet secondary love story about a hot ship captain? Yes!

If you’re willing to read something a little different from the usual romance plot formula, but which hits the emotional beats beautifully, give this a whirl.
Profile Image for Tess.
2,205 reviews26 followers
January 1, 2016
4.5 stars

So much fun!!! Boots is the most imperfect, yet still loveable MC. Don't expect a traditional romance, but you still may be very happy with how this turns out. I was :)
Profile Image for Camy.
1,661 reviews49 followers
October 12, 2013
It's so funny that the first time I picked this book up it was seriously going to be a DNF. Then, for the first time ever, I forgot my Kindle in my desk drawer at work this week and was forced to read from my Kindle app on my iPhone. I downloaded this book quickly more out of convenience etc than a real belief I would get into it.

Except, I did.

I enjoyed this, really. And it was different enough to keep my interest. I loved the GFY and the adventure, the humour and the whimsy. I just got into the world of this read.

The moral of this review: sometimes a book comes down to mood and sometimes good things can come out of a forgotten Kindle...just this one time though.
Profile Image for Natalie.
388 reviews
November 28, 2012
The most fun I’ve had while reading in forever. This book is a blast. I had some doubts at the beginning (Paintball? Really?), but they were quickly dispelled, and this just proves that Ben Monopoli can write anything. This story is whimsical, funny, and poignant. It’s an action movie, a bromance, a sexy friends-to-lovers romance. Pirates! Lube wrestling! Beautiful boys! I loved it all so much.
Profile Image for Shelley.
395 reviews558 followers
January 20, 2014
Honestly, the title says it all:

Homo – yup (obviously)

Action - oh yes!

Homo action – oh hell yes!

Love - Erm, I guess so.

Love Story – Depends on your definition. But yeah, probably :)

A tall tale! – Absolutely!

So, this is different, in a good way: fun, exciting, funny as hell (well, I thought so) and very sexy. I managed to smother my grumblings over the (dreaded) first person present tense format by focussing on a premise that really excited me. Plus all the sexy sculpted man muscle in skin tight neoprene(y) type suits really helped too!

Paintballing is the popular sport of the future and the players are the new rock stars. The fame and glory of the game is fuelled by the risk of getting hit. If you get hit, you die a simu-death, effectively being removed from your life and transported to a secret island for five years. Five YEARS!!! Ouch.

Boots and Ryan are partners in life and on the field; they should have known the risks and prepared their lives accordingly. But they didn’t, and now Boots needs answers. Does the perpetually horny Boots move on? Does he wait 5 years for Ryan? What’s happening to Ryan? Where is he? What would he want Boots to do? Blah blah …bottom line, Ryan needs answers. And so the adventure (with the help of certain team mates) to search out the mysterious simu-island begins.

Our narrator is Boots, a horny 24 years old who attracts or is attracted to almost everyone he meets, even the straight guys. I don’t think I’d like him if I met him in real life. He’s too shallow, too fickle in love, too horny, too me-me-me and yet he still, begrudgingly entertained me.
From his love for Ryan and his extraordinary new obsession for his straight teammate, his too casual hook ups, and the war with the Pirates of the plastic underworld, Boot’s McHenry enraged and entertained me.

Yes, it’s sometimes a ridiculous tall tale and the dialog (especially when Piper’s involved) can be cringe worthy. Boots can be an annoying selfish dickhead, but do try and take it with a pinch/bucket of salt – it’s all part of the fun. Suspend your disbelief, forget your monogamous morals and just enjoy the ride. Who cares that everyone in this novel is too ridiculously gorgeous, buffed, tanned, and gay/ gay-for-you because they are all super sexaaay! I like it!

Homo action love story is a tall tale, set in a completely fictional world and if the author deems everyone to be hot and gay, who am I to complain. Ha! Nope, not me :)

I really liked this one for its original premise, the amazing gay-for-you sheet ripping sex and a few very exciting surprises along the way. It looses points for the writing format and my lack of emotional connection to the MC’s. So, not your typical romance, more of a sexy action adventure with love on the side that’s totally worth reading.

3.5 Stars
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Profile Image for Dani.
280 reviews66 followers
July 20, 2015
With this one I veered between a 3 and 4. In the end, even though this one didn't grab me emotionally like I usually need for a book to give it a 4-star rating (either that or utmost hilarity), it had two things going for it that made it an above average read:

First off, I really honestly did not know where this was going. The premise is freaky and the execution .... unpredictable. So I sat there, reading on - and really couldn't tell for the life of me where the journey was going. That rarely happens, so that was good.

Secondly, the sex. Specifically the one sex scene. Georgous. Witty (tell me, how often does it happen that a sex scene is witty?). Poignant. Never ever mushy or flowery, rather understated and very manly. Playful. Hot as hell. Sweaty and raunchy and, most unbelievably, .....actually lovely.
Without giving anything away, this sex scene was a major plot driver. To make the future development credible this sex scene actually had to be truly affecting, convincingly. And it was, without ever narrating any emotions. That's not a small feat

I also LOVED that . Thank you from the bottom of my heart for defying stifling M/M romance conventions.

And, last but not least, Santiago is just wonderful. The mustache, the big heart, the tattoo, the dog, everything.
Profile Image for Cerulean.
1,068 reviews
April 22, 2013
4.75 stars

Wow, this one completely took me by surprise! As always, I really enjoyed Ben Monopli's writing, but I thought I knew the direction the book was heading in then suddenly, ZAG! At first I was resistant to going with the zag, I wanted the zig, damnit! But slowly I was reeled in and began to love the idea of the zag. I mean, it wasn't what I originally thought this story was going to be about, but I ended up loving the journey it took me on anyway. Sorry zig. I really don't want to give any spoilers, so suffice it to say this is one ZILLA homo action love story!
Profile Image for Gerhard.
1,321 reviews897 followers
September 5, 2017
Wow. Impossibly romantic, sun-quenched, semen-drenched, delirious potboiler of a homo-erotic tall tale that throbs and spurts with virtually every bodily fluid and secondary material imaginable: sweat, cum, black volcanic sand, ass juice, body glue, salt, tears. And yet, as one has come to expect from Monopoli, there is a bittersweet strand of transience here, of defiance hurled against adversity, of nostalgia and regret, of the realisation, in the face of impossible odds, of what really, truly, deeply matters in the dark end of it all: that, once, we were loved.
Profile Image for Justin.
600 reviews155 followers
October 18, 2014
I loved everything about this crazy book. Would love to see this made into a movie!!! You should know going in that this is NOT a traditional, contemporary romance.....it's an action/adventure book with gay MCs.
Profile Image for Marc.
24 reviews8 followers
December 18, 2012
OK, so Ben Monopoli doesn't really fit a specific genre. Unless they make a new genre called "well written gay stuff".

All of his work has m/m romance elements, but this is also a boys-own-adventure story. There are lovers torn apart by the rules of their professional sport, adventure, romance and evil pirates. I had moments when I struggled to be sympathetic to the lead, Boots McHenry, but In the end, he's an awesome guy. who ends up with his own awesome guy. and his friends get their own awesome guys. And most of the baddies aren't really that bad, more misunderstood.

The sex is excellent - even the sex with the swimming pool jets - when there are two people involved it's positively STELLAR! It's great - you have to read it!

This is probably the most "accessable" of Ben Monopoli's 3 novels, and is probably a great place to start, but don't miss his other work - The Cranberry Hush is a great college/coming of age novel, and The Painting of Porcupine City is a romance that gets kind of metaphysical (It's one of my favourite books ever)
Profile Image for Cory .
729 reviews85 followers
February 22, 2013
Another great book by Ben Monopoli!

I loved the story as well as the writing. I also enjoyed the little plug for The Cranberry Hush by Clemente when he was talking with Boots.

When I finished I was sad....not for the ending, but because I've read all of Ben Monopoli's books and now I'm stuck waiting for the next one! :)
Profile Image for Molli B..
1,534 reviews62 followers
April 2, 2016
4/1/16 note: It's kind of just weird luck that I happened to pick this book out of the samples on my iPad last night to read, and when I found it on Amazon for $.99, I didn't really understand why. Turns out that right now (4/1/2016), all of Ben's stuff is on sale on Amazon for a buck. Go buy it all now. I stumbled on it by happenstance, but I highly recommend at least his first three books—and you can get all three for $3! And get the fourth while you're at it—I did!

Review: It's been over four years since I read Ben Monopoli's first two books, so I'd almost forgotten how much I love his writing. But this definitely reminded me! And while those two books were both wonderful but also kind of bummed me out, I'm happy to report that while this has its sad moments and plenty of drama, it's definitely a "light" story—a tall tale, if you will. ;) And while his first two sort of skim the line between romance and gay fiction, landing more on the gay fiction side, I'd say this one lands more heavily on the romance side.

The book takes place in some undetermined future time that's not too far out there—people are still using cars, but they all run on hydrogen; people have cell phones, but they're made of cooler stuff than now and get good cell signals in the middle of the ocean and have great battery life; and tablets can roll up, so macho professional paintballers who don't want their teammates to tease them about reading romances can hide what they're reading. There's some pretty neat stuff going on; I really enjoyed the world-building. Also, it's only the old timers who say "WTF"... The whole professional paintball thing was very fun and different (I won't tell my husband that in the book, the NFL's gone the way of the dodo—he'd be very upset).

I thought the story was really well put together and crafted. I wouldn't say that the plot is overly complicated, but it has a few moving parts, and in the end, they all fit together well. I liked all of the characters—except maybe the ones I wasn't supposed to like. :) But even those guys, I felt bad for them—Ben did a good job making me feel bad for even the unsympathetic guys. (Well, not the pirates.)

And I'll say that while the book is definitely romantic, I think it features romance from a guy's perspective (as Colby puts it: "[Ryan] knows the difference between your heart and your junk..."), so readers who prefer the main character to be focused on his one-and-only and only his one-and-only might be frustrated. In other words, Boots' brain, heart, and penis operate independently. That reads to me as authentic, and like I said before, this book is much lighter than his first two and I'm less inclined to care who Boots is knocking boots with as long as he's happy in the end.

Thoroughly enjoyable read. I definitely won't wait so long to read Oliver Wade.
Profile Image for Karel.
279 reviews64 followers
September 8, 2015
I came to this expecting something mediocre to give a hard time to once I'm done.

But fuck me - I'll give this six stars if I could.

There's not much to say that can be said without spoiling it, but I'll say this much: It's funny. It doesn't make you weak with laughter, and it doesn't have the trying-very-hard style of your standard romcom book. What it's got is steady, amusing writing that will keep you smiling the whole way (Seriously. My cheeks still hurt.).

And the name, believe it or not, suits it.

Homo? Affirmative. Every man who appears on screen is either homo or convertible, and the greatest thing about Monopoli's writing is that he writes fabulous unapologetic gay men that don't feel the need to apologize for their existence by behaving like a bunch of mooning romantics.


Action? In sight. To get to his one true love, Boots braves - in no particular order - a street chase, paparazzi, recruitment woes, seasickness, a clingy ex, a pirate attack, sharks, a Titanic drowning scene, a gunfight, an island of plastic, and a really angry retired paintballer.


Love? See above.


And Story? Boy is there a story! One peppered with some of the loveliest characters I've seen in a long time. They don't hog much of the limelight or go into some in-depth psychoanalysis thing, but I don't care, because they come across as such lovable people that you'll put yourself up as guarantor if they're taking a loan to invest in portable marshmallows.

There's the fantastic teenage martial artist who threatens to dislocate his enemies' shoulders (and does!), the long-suffering captain and recipient of relentless amorous attentions, the clingy ex who won't let go of Boots' leg and of course - Clemente the Fabulous. No explanations there, or I'll have to write you another book on his greatness alone.

But really, what else do you want from a MM romance novel? It's got it all and it says right there in the title!

Now stop reading this review and go read this, dammit.
Profile Image for Mina.
17 reviews1 follower
December 14, 2012

I loved Ben Monopoli’s previous books, both for their intriguing story. His stories are subtle and elegant, always aching and sad and funny. I think it’s a testimony on how good a write is… to be both funny and sad. Not an easy thing to do.

Anyway I’ve been waiting for his new book for ages. And when I heard the new title, I had to scratch my head. I got more surprised and a bit perplexed when I read… paintball?

Really??? Paintball, c’mon!

Then Mr. Monopoli got a real treat for me! As a reader, it’s always a pleasure to see writers treating the readers with something new and fresh. And man, Homo Action Love Story is damn fresh in every possible way!!! It’s crazy hilarious~~ From the beginning till the end. And everything is so unexpected. Every turn of the page (mine was Kindle, so every click) made me gasp for air! From the number 69 to turning your best friend into gay, and suddenly an adventure to a mysterious island, on top of it, pirates?!!! Yes! I am NOT kidding, pirates!!!! You’d think it’s ridiculous, but no, somehow Mr. Monopoli pulls it off, giving us some of the best action sequences I’ve read in any books!

It’s not all crazy fun and jokes, Mr. Monopoli somehow still manages to keep his voice and tone which I so loved in his previous two books. There is a underlying pain and sadness throughout the book, and when the protagonist finally faces his fate or destiny or truth, the readers are treated with something profound about friendship, relationship and love.

If you liked Mr. Monopoli’s books, by all means, read this one! And if you have not, then you are in for a great pleasure!
Profile Image for Dreamer.
1,814 reviews138 followers
June 4, 2016
4.5 stars. Fresh, original m/m romance set in an alternative future in Thebes, California. Hated the title, loved the beginning, I thought this was going along the way of 'The Hunger Games' initially. Got a little bored during the seafaring part, expected a darker ending.

Told in the first person and present tense from Boots McHenry's pov. Boots is a 'Warrior' in the prestigious North American Paintball League and lover to team-mate Ryan Kroft. If a player is simu-killed, the penalty is five years in exile at a secret location.
description
'Young people think they're invincible, that nothing bad will ever happen to them, and then something changes: they fall in love. And the world begins to seem a lot more fragile. And the odds of things going terribly wrong double. Because it's not just them anymore. Until it is.'
Profile Image for Claudia.
742 reviews5 followers
August 31, 2017
4.5 STARS! This is my third Ben Monopoli book. If you open a Ben Monopoli book expecting to get romance out of it, just read something else. Most of his MC's are flawed, they get on your nerves, make wrong decisions but at the end, they really try to be true to themselves. And this is the first time I get some sort of happy ending. Each part of the book tugs differents emotions and the roller coaster was quite a ride. I enjoyed it so much! By the way, every book I've read from Ben Monopoli leaves me feeling like the ride is what's important not the destination. Through all the ups and downs, the characters learn more about themselves and the reader grows along with them. There's action, sex (Ben seriously wrote the best funny sex scene I've ever read), treason, love and a cinnamon roll named Colby Kroft that must be protected at all costs.
Profile Image for Steph.
127 reviews
January 11, 2013
3.5 stars. I really wanted to love this book too. Despite the reviews, this one didn't work for me. I agree with ttg's review. I did like the writing and the setting. I'll definitely check out Ben Monopoli's other books.

Profile Image for Cassandra.
205 reviews
December 11, 2018
Not sure where my rating went, but I love the HELL out of this book!
It's fun and exciting and I'll be re-reading it.

Read it last year, but taking credit for it this year :)

If it sticks

Edit..

GAH! Still love this one - and this is my fourth read-thru
Profile Image for M.
674 reviews13 followers
January 9, 2013
Bawoeeoow bwow! This book is zilla awesome. 'Nuff said.
Profile Image for Hemmel M..
805 reviews54 followers
May 15, 2025
It took me a year to finish this, and every time I was reading, I did not understand why I put it down. It was fun, sweet, original, emotional and sexy. Characters and a plot that stay with me.
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