A Bridge Between: Northern Italy Come Hell or High Water

by Velia Pola

In the middle of the night in a darkened airport, a tiny voice inside her head taunted her. “Do you know where your mother is?” The voice began to shriek. “I am the caregiver.”

Traipsing off to visit her 91-year old father’s ancestral village in northern Italy, the author is an unlikely caregiver, in over her head escorting her elderly parents. In an endearing memoir, alternately light hearted and poignantly tearful, the family travels far beyond the picturesque backdrop of northern Italy, breaking ground on what has become a universal journey for millions of adult children—caring for the parents who raised them. They struggle to keep their heads above water in Venice, battle Comacchian eel and endure a frantic game of hide and seek in Ravenna. They nourish their bodies and souls in Emilia-Romagna, best a belligerent agent in Bellagio and reflect on love and loss in winter's shadow on Lake Como. From Venice to Savona, vivid landscapes and historic venues blend with lessons from the author’s childhood in a crash course on aging with grace and determination.

As a generation of baby boomers confronts the long-term care of their parents, A BRIDGE BETWEEN transcends the role of travelogue to become a socially relevant love story of devotion, acceptance, and the evolution of familial relationships.

318 pages, Paperback

First published October 1, 2012

About the author

Velia Pola lives and works in Dennis on Cape Cod. She was privileged to be a featured speaker at the 2013 Author's Friday Series and a presenter at the 2014 Cape Cod Writer's Center Memoir Workshop. She believes that daydreams can come true and has never been afraid to reinvent herself when life suggests. A Cape Cod native, she loves to escape "over the bridge" to pursue unexpected adventures.

Reviews

[Bill Ward · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great fun -- and funny! -- well written, insightful, reflective, informative, and even a slow-speed adventure thrown in here and there.
I suppose it helps to have spent my formative years in Velia's hometown, to have known members of her family and the setting of their house, and to have also come from a large family, but I don't see any of that as necessary to enjoy this book.
I also share a yearning for connection to familial roots. Just a few years ago I visited a town in western Ukraine that my Polish ancestral branch hailed from, and that I'm pretty sure no tourist, American or otherwise, ever goes to. I had no known relatives to connect with there and no knowledge of exactly where they once lived in town. But the same Catholic church was still in operation, though continually under repair for decades after practically being destroyed by the Soviets. It was good enough for me. I simply wanted to see the area and breathe the same air. Five years hence I still think of that visit often. It seemed difficult enough to drive three hours down a potholed road to get there from the nearest major roadway, with no help from road signs that were not just in another language but also composed of an entirely different alphabet. To do the equivalent with elderly parents would have multiplied the effort, and therein lies the heart of this book.

[RYCJ · Rating 5 out of 5]

There’s much to explore in this story, about as much as was explored during the family’s trip to Italy, but omitting spoilers, for starters there’s the slow repetitive paced writing that actually makes the story work. It is upmarket impressive by its unpretentious witty airiness, leaving little choice but to enjoy Velia’s parents endearing relationship.

I as well liked the way the story weaved back and forth, transitioning from Velia's childhood years to particulars in her adult life, and her parents’ aging... and of course this scenic trip to Italy as well. One of my favorite parts (gratefully things turned out okay) was Velia catching her mother in the ‘scissors’ maneuver on the deck. Gosh, I melted reading that part. The chime of San Marco’s bells was another tender spot. And the description of Italy, and Anna to go along with it, gets my standing ovation!

Velia’s large family certainly was relatable. Families were larger back then. What was unique was Carlo and Peggy’s insatiable appetite to get out and explore the world. Good for them. I empathized with Carlo when he cried upon reaching Finale Emilia. Severed umbilical cords and relocating aside, the innate magnetic pull connecting with our origins can be powerful.

Thanks for writing a thoroughly enjoyable story!

[Laurie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I enjoyed the actual travel journal part of this book. Their adventures, the people, the food, the landscape and how they experienced it all as two generations traveling together. Though I understand why the author felt compelled to tell us - in detail - about her life as the 8th child of 9 (I really got sick of hearing about that!), I felt more about the trip and less about creating her parents into minor parental saints would have made the book better for me. I felt myself skimming her childhood history to get to the true meat of the story - which is why I only gave it two stars.