The Convert

by Oliver Broudy

Erin Mounsey is a survivor of horrific burns whose backstory is widely available online. The Convert, too, tells his story, but this is no mere pedestrian profile; rather it is a tale that reads as if it were almost palpably difficult for its unapologetic atheist author to tell. As Broudy himself says, "This is not an argument. This is the story of one man's odyssey from atheism to belief." As these things go, it must rank as one of the most dramatic since that of St. Paul, so rich, virtuosic, and memorable that the temptation to shout its highlights from the rooftops grapples with the contrary desire to give almost nothing away, the better to let interested readers discover its deep well of poignantly challenging charms for themselves. Suffice it to say that if there's a more accomplished chronicler of existential ambivalence alive today, please bring him or her to my attention. In the meantime, Oliver Broudy's growing collection of Kindle Singles will do just fine. --Jason Kirk

Genres: Religion, Nonfiction

120 pages, Kindle Edition

First published November 12, 2012

About the author

Oliver Broudy cut his teeth writing short stories, which have been published in a variety of literary journals. In 2005, after a five-year stint as an editor at The Paris Review, he switched to writing non-fiction. Since then he has focused on writing for magazines. His work has taken him to China, Afghanistan, New Zealand, and elsewhere. He has written about anarchy in Missouri, a kung fu master in Humboldt, and football in Dallas. In 2009, his dissection of a fatal car crash for Men's Health was a finalist for the National Magazine Awards. Since then, he has begun to pursue more independent projects, beginning with The Saint, which was voted a top-ten Single of 2011, and most recently The Convert, which was voted a top-ten Single of 2012.

Reviews

[Marisha · Rating 3 out of 5]

As an agnostic atheist, I picked up this book in an attempt to look for understanding. I don't understand religion, or belief in God, but I can see how someone raised in a religion might cling to what they were taught into adulthood. What stumps me is when an unbeliever like me makes the transition to Christianity, of all things. Knowing that not even a disbeliever is immune, I picked up this book to see what the appeal was, where belief comes from, what could possibly cause a mind to shift from rational to irrational.

Having finished it, I feel just as confused and insightless as I did before I picked it up. The writing is decent, to be sure, and the story is unique and interesting - we follow the protagonist (who I assume is the stand-in for the author) through some excruciatingly traumatic experiences, and past that, through the psyche of a severely emotionally troubled human being. I also like the fact that the author attempts, at leasts, to gear the book toward unbelievers. He is always saying "we atheists," as if he is on their side, although his generalizations about atheists grew more and more cynical and non-inclusive as the book went on.

Although the writing is eloquent in its way, what the author definitely lacks is attention to detail. He will go on for pages, describing his emotions, thoughts, experiences, and beliefs in the abstract. When it comes to events themselves, he is as vague as possible. I still don't have a definite grasp on what happened to result in his restraining orders - either of them - and even when he goes to prison, it is entirely unclear of what he was convicted. Despite the introspective nature of this book, this lack of description gives the strong impression that the author himself lacks self-knowledge - or at the very least, feels too much shame about the events to offer an honest account of them.

On top of all this, when the ending comes around, and the protagonist is (spoiler alert!) converted to Christianity, I found myself reading and re-reading the final chapter, looking for a clue, for anything remotely relatable, that could help me understand his dramatic shift in perception of the world. At this point, he lives a life similar to mine - steady job, relationship, possessing existential angst - who doesn't feel the kind of empty confusion he describes? That "Now what?" question that leaves us reaching for meaning and something substantial in a life that can only be described by its impermanency. I get that. I understand it.

To be frank, I feel a bit robbed by the ending. Part of this is because it feels like I was meant to. The author states at the beginning of the last chapter: "This is the signal that the serious bullcrap is about to commence. Our hero is about to forsake us." And it does feel like it. Up to this point I have been able to understand, at least conceptually, why the protagonist feels the emotions he does, given his experiences. But this one escapes me, not least because it is so sudden and dramatic: one moment he does not believe, and the next he does. That's all the explanation we are given. How are we meant to respond to that?

I have a suspicion that the religious readers of this book will find satisfaction at the end. That everything will click into place and they will feel like all is as it should be - through all his suffering, the protagonist finally found the Truth. They might also say, in response to my frustrations, that faith isn't something rational, that can be explained logically, but is something one can only feel. That certainly fits with the sudden unexplained conversion he experienced. And maybe that's all this book is meant to be: less of an explanation and more of a confession, and one that only fellow believers could ever hope to really grasp.

Be that as it may, I still find the book abstract to a fault and ultimately unsatisfying. I appreciate the attempt, and the writing style itself is lovely, but I don't expect most unbelievers, if they are like me, to get anything from it.

[John Martindale · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a unique book. It seemed to be written for atheists whose highest ideal is unbelief, and thus biggest fear would be to convert to Christianity.

So the book reads like a tragedy. Here we have someone who went through fire, madness, rejection, prison, etc... and yet through it all, he valiantly held on to his atheism, but in end (horror of horrors), when under the sway of some crazy conspiracy theorist, relational issues, and psychological strain, he mentally cracks, truly losing his marbles. For the author, belief in God was the absolute worst possible thing that could happen for our pitiable protagonist, and yet he falls, he is lost, he converts. the end.

The way it is left hanging, one is left wondering the results of the conversion? Did it have a positive impact on the remainder of his life?

[Rancher23 · Rating 3 out of 5]

Mostly enjoyable.

The story of Erin was good however the lengthy minutiae of how an atheist views God and the world shows the book down and I find myself thinking “ok, got it. Move on. “ Which I did by skipping ahead to get back to the story of Erin.

[Jason Megraw · Rating 2 out of 5]

Read this book in a few hours, over 2 days. Even though it's a relatively short story, it went quickly for me because I basically skimmed over any rambling meditations the author had about religion and Christianity, and instead read with interest the actual story of Erin, who was horribly burned in a fire and somehow survived with 86% burns all over his body.

My interest in this story is essentially overcoming adversity; from painful rehab after the fire, to being a disfigured social outcast, leading to drug abuse and eventual madness, and finally prison. To me it seemed that the rigid structure of prison life was his saving grace; having a set schedule to everything left out any room for straying back into self-destructive behavior. Even his fellow inmates' support seemed to bring him back from the brink, irrespective of the crimes that brought them there in the first place.

Together with all the time left in his prison sentence to educate himself on wide-ranging topics, and building up his physical strength, one would naturally understand that a better life awaits him on the outside.

Having his crazy cousin Billy around, with his conspiracy theories, his post-apocalyptic survivalism mentality, and having been visited by a UFO, certainly adds perspective.

[Jeff · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a strange book, but one that I enjoyed. It gives us the story of Erin, a man who believed that God did not exist and lived a life that showed this. It takes us through different stages of Erin's life, which was not easy, which is an understatement. 97% of the book tells of us his life, it is the last 3% that tell us of the instant when Erin came to understand his need for Jesus in his life. If you begin reading this book thinking it will be a feel good story, think again. It is heart wrenching all that Erin went through, even though most of it was self-induced. Still, this book will show how God reaches out to us and not the other way around. It is not about religion, it is about that relationship with Jesus, that most of us do not realize we need until the moment it comes to fruition.

For Christians who do not like to see foul language, this book does contain some. Still, it is enjoyable even if it is not fun. Read it.

[Peter · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not sure what to make of this, some great insights, a compelling story , said to be based on fact. It feels like reading Lee Strobel's Case for Christ in novel form as in Lee disingenously pretends to be the ardent skeptic and straw mans his way through his apologetics book. The real or otherwise stance of the author /narrator annoyingly downplays the feelings of atheists. "Erin" finds meaning in. god that probably doesn't exist. As for the C.S.Lewis false trilemma ? Really ?

Reduces to Stockholm syndrome by imaginary proxy. An imagined god allows /causes the fire, he almost does. he ends up thanking "god"? The idea that feelings are somehow better with one of the god variants? At least atheists have real feelings , and eschew the pretend friends in the sky.

[Shervin Jamali · Rating 3 out of 5]

Let's go with two and a half stars. I can't argue that this book is not interesting in an unusual sort of fashion. What I can gripe about is that it often felt like Erin's story was just an excuse for Broudy to demonstrate his extensively large vocabulary library. For surely if someone is expressing their thoughts, and you need a dictionary in hand to follow, they must be an intellectual, right? So in a way, it could have been just about any subject matter that the author tackled, and it would probably have read the same way. And of course the completely anti-climactic fashion in which Erin's "conversion" occurs in the next to last page is reason enough to feel cheated and unrewarded. It's like winning the lottery only to discover that after taxes you're left with $1.

[Jack · Rating 2 out of 5]

A gritty tale of one man's journey to faith. It seemed apparent that the author went to great lengths to create an edgy, "non-religious" conversion story. Reading this account with all its vagueness and sudden turns left me unsatisfied....especially the ending. The reader is led to a cliff, with no parachute to safely land. Unless the author is setting up for a sequel, this seemed pointless.

[Josh · Rating 2 out of 5]

Unfortunately the idea of the book proved to be more interesting and engaging than the book itself. Broudy occasionally provided insight into the hearts of Christians and Atheists alike, however, I would be surprised to find anyone's beliefs changed by a book that so often alienates the reader with lofty, almost indecipherable writing.

[Becca · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved everything about this book. Mostly these points:
a. fascinating story of survival and rehabilitation.
b. intelligent journalistic style with the author's personal incorporation of atheistic perspective.
c. nice blend of fact reporting, story telling and philosophical and religious discussion.
d. interesting way to tell a story of religious conversion--with a lot of dang-good vocabulary!

[Peter Smythe · Rating 2 out of 5]

I bought the book as a Kindle single. I had read another Broudy single and this one intrigued me. Reading The Convert through, I don't know what Broudy expected me to come away with. The conversion involves just the last few pages. The rest of the book is a narrative description of a guy who has to deal with burns and Broudy's atheism.

[Brent Chiu-Watson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Oliver Broudy's other 2 Kindle Shorts were amazing. I recommend those to everyone. This one just didn't hit the nail on the head in the same way. It still contains similar methods of storytelling as I like in his other work, but it just didn't find it's stride. Still enjoyable enough, but I wouldn't recommend it. But DO READ "The Saint" and "The Codex"!

[Macey · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm going to have to sound like an idiot here and just say that I kind of didn't get some of this book. It was either over my head of he used big words and metaphors that aren't part of my repertoire.

[Eloise Berryman · Rating 2 out of 5]

The first half of this story was very intriguing, but by the end the story of why Erin eventually converts falls flat. There are some good existential thoughts in this story, but it was much less profound than I expected it to be.

[Michelle]

Very rambling.