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Squelch

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When Ginny first spotted the beautiful moths, she felt sure they were welcoming her to her new cottage... But by the time the lethal caterpillars arrived, she knew she was very, very, wrong. Huge, green and hairy, they ravenously preyed upon flesh—burrowing in the softest, most unprotected parts of the human body. And their first victim was Ginny's own sister, but she was only the first...

250 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1985

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John Halkin

14 books17 followers

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5 stars
13 (14%)
4 stars
32 (34%)
3 stars
29 (31%)
2 stars
14 (15%)
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4 (4%)
Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews
Profile Image for Dan.
3,206 reviews10.8k followers
April 5, 2018
Caterpillars escape from a lab in a small English town. Only these caterpillars are... maneaters! Can Ginny, an unemployed former TV executive, her doctor brother-in-law Bernie, and a pilot save the day or will all of England fall to the hungry caterpillars and their acid-spewing moths?

Chalk another one up to Paperbacks from Hell. What can be wrong about maneating caterpillars?

Quite a bit, as it turns out. But first I'll cover the good points.

Squelch is fun in a b-movie sort of way. A lot of creature features do the reveal too soon and wear out their welcome early, like a porno that's nothing but money shots. Squelch takes it's time, saving the really gruesome stuff for late in the book. The plot comes together fairly organically. I didn't think anyone made any crazy leaps in logic. Not for a horror novel, anyway.

Okay, here's all the shit I didn't like. Squelch suffers from "Why the fuck don't they just run away or stomp the shit out of them?" syndrome, much like the movies Child's Play, Slugs, and about a hundred others. Yeah, flesh-eating caterpillars are potentially scary but they're still six inches long at the end of the day. I kept picturing the vorpal bunny jumping at people's faces in Monty Python and the Holy Grail or the slugs in Slugs leaping at people.

The writing is kind of rocky at the beginning. Either I got used to it or it smoothed out eventually. None of the characters are that interesting and Ginny lost any sympathy from me when she started boning someone she shouldn't have. The solution to the killer caterpillar problem reminded me of something to a Simpsons episode.

While it had some fun gory moments, it felt like what it was: something written to take advantage of the horror paperback boom. It doesn't have a lot of soul to it. Two out of five stars.

Profile Image for Peter.
4,072 reviews798 followers
April 10, 2019
This was the best pageturner of the whole series! Ginny buys a small cottage on the countryside when mysterious caterpillars start attacking people. At first only view people are involved but more and more people die, are literally eaten up (yes, that book is the goriest of them!), an invasion of caterpillars sets in, even reaching London. With the caterpillars come the moths. Is Ginny (the female main character) able to stop those gruesome swarms? What about Bernie, her sister's husband (she starts an affair with), Jeff and Jack (her former boyfriend)? I extremely liked this book on out-of-control insects. There were many great spine tingling scenes (like that in the church) or the fete. Everythings begins with Kit (a twelve year old) smashing up a tank in a laboratory... has science gone too far or what's the reason for all those caterpillars and moths appearing in Britain like a Biblical plague? Great stuff from the heydays of horror. Couldn't put the book down. Highly recommended!
Profile Image for Tara.
454 reviews12 followers
September 9, 2023
The first half of this thing was slow and relatively dull, but the second half started out with the giant caterpillars pulling off a fucking coordinated ambush of a church picnic. Then there was more gore and mayhem, and eventually some monitor lizards from Africa were flown in to save the day. All of which was adorably stupid and a great deal of fun. But book, you already had me at coordinated ambush of a church picnic <3
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Wayne.
937 reviews20 followers
April 25, 2023
A silly book that, after reading a bit just gets even sillier. All three of these books, "Slither" and "Slime" were on the outlandish side. This one has England under siege from killer caterpillers and goo shooting moths. Just picture a picnic being over run by the wee little beasties. Killing man woman and child. Burrowing into skin and ripping jugular veins. How do you stop them? Bring I'm lizards from Africa. Mindless entertainment for sure.
Profile Image for Joe.
162 reviews1 follower
November 5, 2020
As a fan of gooey gory horror, I really enjoyed reading Squelch. Genetically engineered caterpillars are accidentally released from a lab, whereupon they infest the woodlands and urban spaces of the UK, devouring hapless citizens. I'll be looking for more of John Halkin's books.
Profile Image for Nelio Gomes.
93 reviews1 follower
April 1, 2012
Surprisingly horrific! The idea of a carnivorous caterpillar swarm seems almost comical at first... but not after the church picnic.
Profile Image for Ziggy Nixon.
1,148 reviews36 followers
October 7, 2024
The moths first blinded the victims, leaving them helpless against the caterpillars.

3 stars. John Halkin's "Squelch" - a tale about a great deal of England as well as even Northern France being attacked by vicious man-eating caterpillar's and naturally their ultimate incarnations as huge moths - was what I can only describe as an odd story. Certainly the setting for a great deal of the book was not your usual creature feature, creepy crawlie environment, as we find ourselves moving in with Ginny - the main protagonist (mostly) of our story - who seeks to escape the maddening rush of London, quitting her job as a TV director of a well-known albeit self-proclaimed "tedious tea-time soap opera" - by purchasing a quaint old cottage in the same village that her sister's family resides in. It all seems to be an absolutely bucolic setting filled with natives of all ilk (though seemingly having no education or prospects for a brighter future), a nice pub or two and even a nearby golf course. And then, of course, IT happens.

It was chewing into him as though he already lay dead under the earth.

And by IT, I don't just mean the utter happenstance about how these somehow mutant caterpillars are released but the entire question of for what purpose could the Research, a facility of unknown purpose and ownership, possibly be breeding such monstrosities? Later even, when thousands of his Majesty's royal subjects are lying dead all about the place, we can't even get the scientist responsible to utter a single statement as to the target of her work (NDA's are not THAT strong!)? Hm, it all seems so very… well, very familiar in many ways because the last book I read - "Violet Eyes" by John Everson - also had similar work going on (mind you in this case it was under the guidance of the very government that later had to shut everything down in an utterly apocalyptic fashion). But you can be damn certain that when asked for details, the scientist involved in that book (at least the one still alive) became quite loquacious. This was in large part due to the gentleman who was asking the questions making it clear he would not hesitate to carve said scientist up into tiny pieces and then fed him to his own creations. How that issue was not forced here was beyond my comprehension.

Outside – somewhere – hundreds more must be assembling for their next orgy of human blood.

But just like the aforementioned book, the story here gets lost very quickly in a series of brutal killings of a number of random people, most of whom we learn just enough about to get past the few seconds it takes the caterpillars and/or moths to start their nasty atrocities. But all wind up dying extremely nasty deaths - including churches full of people or schoolyards full of young children. And at that point it just becomes a question of what they were doing, when they were doing it and how many people joined them in their unholy demise before it was all said and done. Naturally, the local authorities are expected to take charge of the situation and we don't see a single higher ranking military figure at all throughout (the two low-ranking MPs don't count) … because as we all apparently know, there are no military personnel in the British Isles. I mean, really? But don't worry, the Americans didn't react either at first once a small Florida town was overrun by spider/flies that ate anything and everyone. All this violence inherent in the system (help! help! we're being repressed!) but not when it comes to helping stamp out - and that I mean literally - a threat to life and limb. Riiiiiight.

The attacks are spreading, aren’t they? Almost like a planned campaign.

So the reaction to the threat of death by blood-thirsty caterpillars or venom-spitting giant moths all becomes a bit silly. But wait, there's more. If all of this wasn't enough, Ginny goes from, first, staying overnight in London with her ex for a thoroughly needed good shag. Then she uses the opportunity of her sister fleeing with her three young nieces to - yes, you guessed it - copulate (I didn't want to use the word fuck here) with her brother-in-law with whom she has fallen totally and completely in love. But hey, no guilt ("No, she was much too deeply in love with him to regret it.") this is after all war and as we all know, anything goes during war-time. Heck, even when the 70-year-old vicar starts fantasising (note spelling) about having a randy fling with Ginny (who surprisingly does NOT take him up on that despite his clumsy and obvious flirtations, so she does have her limits!). So we're either reading about utter strangers getting the ol' chomp-chomp from the sluggos or the hawk tuah treatment from the moths or we're watching Ginny bumping uglies with her sister's man. Oh well, destroying the remainder of her family during these times can't be helped, can it? Must keep carrying on to find calm... or something to that effect.

Wherever there was exposed flesh, caterpillars were feeding.

And that ending. Yep the book ended, it sure did. How it ended, I'm not going to spoil here but that was an interesting little sojourn, wasn't it? Again, I just want to underline that at this point, the UK is essentially on lockdown and ALL THE AIRPORTS IN LONDON have been closed when all this goes down. No one in, no one out, making the COVID lockdown look like a spring holiday! And did I mention there's no military presence on the ground or air nor apparently on stand-by when an unannounced jet coming in from Africa is able to fly into Gatwick Airport unimpeded? Mmm'kay. But hey, their plan apparently worked - it should have taken years but we get to fast forward fortunately to our killer creepy (???) free future! And it looks like Ginny is even going to get a chance to get back into television! That's ok, right? Yay! All she did was become a hero among heroes despite it all! Anyone for tea?

Oh, for Chrissake, why is everybody going on about tea?

Like I said, overall I found this to be an odd book. It read fairly well in terms of pacing and for the most part, wasn't poorly executed. However, there are some rather major editing hiccups scattered throughout with just about the most imperfectly wrong words used at the wrong time. But interestingly enough what I'll take away from all this is - despite being a devout arachnaphobe - the critters in this story creeped me out even more than my last book that was filled to (and through) the eyeballs with spiders! Just the thought of touching those giant fuzzy creepers or having one of those book-sized moths in my face. So kudos on the ick factor and I'll also continue to remember this book for the very unusual setting. I mean, events like the All Saints Spring Fête should be off-limits to monsters, no? I guess it's like the B-52's warned us: don't go on the patio… especially after you've seen a kajillion of these things lower themselves from trees to attack… just like the one you're sitting under! Hmmm…
Profile Image for Mike.
415 reviews21 followers
October 11, 2018
Attack of the killer caterpillars. C grade 80's horror fiction is what I expected, so consider those expectations met! Good on gore, but thin on characters and story line.
Profile Image for WhiskeyintheJar.
1,521 reviews693 followers
October 3, 2023
2.5 stars

After all, it was only a moth: wasn’t it?

This starts off with a twelve year old breaking into a research facility and stealing a box of caterpillars to later take back and impress his friends. But alas, crime doesn't pay and when a caterpillar breaks out of the box and starts biting him, he falls down screaming in pain. It's a free for all then as the other caterpillars attack and start burrowing into the little boy. Back at the facility they notice someone broke in but a cat gets blamed when it's dead body is found broken on the caterpillar cage. A kid and an animal dying in the prologue?? I thought I was in for a squelchy good time but the story then jumps a few months, have to give time for the caterpillars to become moth airborne killers, and then we meet, Ginny. She just quit her job as a director on a soap opera series, broken up with her boyfriend of three years, and going to try and find herself in the outskirts of London in a little cottage.

Normally she didn’t like creepie-crawlies, yet here she was now – completely calm, for all the world as though she were receiving visitors.

Ginny encounters a moth at the cottage right away but there's this almost bond between them as she doesn't kill it but gently brings it back outside to fly away. Readers see a different side of the moths as the ex-bf that helped her move in is attacked when he's driving as the moths seem to try to kill him. This starts the murderous little cut scenes as caterpillars and moths attack people who are alone or only in groups of two while we always come back to Ginny and her desire to bang her brother-in-law.

Her body lay twisted unnaturally on the grass with fat green caterpillars – six at least – gorging themselves on her.

Ginny's cottage is by her sister Lesley and her doctor husband Bernie. Lesley gets bitten by one of the caterpillars and ends up in the hospital. But don't worry, Ginny realizes that sleeping with her sister's husband while in she's in the hospital would not be the thing. They wait until the caterpillars and moths start attacking larger groups of people and people start running scared. Lesley takes her kids and goes a few towns over. Ginny and Bernie bang that night. In Lesley's home. In Lesley's bed. The story then takes a disaster movie turn and it's carnage, the caterpillars and moths are slaughtering a hundred people at fêtes and church get togethers. They're making their way to London!

Calmly she went about the task of slaughtering those moths one by one, bringing the hoe blade sharply down on each to sever the wings and crush the body.

The sister finds out about the affair, a slap to the face, and then a couple more months go by where the caterpillars are doing their thing until they turn into moths and Ginny has convinced herself still sleeping with her sister's husband will be ok (at one point she wonders if Lesley won't mind sharing???). A renegade pilot enters the picture, he has the hots for Ginny (I forgot to mention the seventy year old Reverend that also had the hots for Ginny) but when the caterpillars/moths make their murderous return he's fighting along side Ginny and others to save people. The government wants to try and keep things hush-hush (???) about the murderous rampage making it's way to London but ol' renegade pilot gets on to something and he renegades, by bringing in a plane full of monitor lizards from Africa. Just as the caterpillars/moths are doing their charge he comes back, crashes the plane and releases the monitor lizards! The lizards gorge and save the day. Bernie dies. England advises people to keep monitor lizards as pets from here on out.

Or did they get them all? The ending has Ginny in her cottage communing with a moth.
(there was also Ginny writing a movie script about the whole thing and the renegade pilot shipping it to friends in America and her possibly getting a movie deal for a true author wish fulfillment ending)
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
160 reviews
March 22, 2025
I came here for killer caterpillars and got a boring story about cheating. Like come on. I want to see some killer bugs eat a town of people not a marital spat. And the caterpillars didn't even kill that many people. Don't read this one if you want a good bug horror novel.
Profile Image for Michael.
53 reviews
January 25, 2021
80's British Horror ... so so, only for the hard core fans of genre.
Profile Image for Scott Oliver.
344 reviews3 followers
August 6, 2023
This was a good, quick, easy read about carnivorous caterpillars and moths attacking people

Some good, bloody scenes
21 reviews
December 7, 2025
Cray cray killer caterpillars with some great scenes of havoc and chaos.
Wuth some family drama and affairs.

The ending wasnt that satisfying.
But an entertaining read.
Profile Image for Teresa.
1,902 reviews33 followers
December 8, 2019
A fun B rated creature feature. Since i bought this book for that kind of read i enjoyed it.
My only complaint, Ginny should have gotten caterpillared!
Profile Image for Ricardo Neves.
Author 7 books15 followers
October 9, 2012
Julgando pela capa e pelo título, não dava muito por este livro. Quão enganado estava! SQUELCH é uma história sóbria, onde o terror é explorado de forma magistral. A escrita é fluída, simples e directa e os personagens estão muito bem desenvolvidas. A minha primeira incursão na obra do senhor Halkin levar-me-á a olhar com outros olhos para as lagartas e para as mariposas. Fora isso, é um livro incrível.
Profile Image for Kimberly.
6 reviews
April 8, 2020
If there's one thing that I can say that I've learned from reading this book it's this: if there is ever an attack of killer insects, it doesn't seem to put a damper on your love life.
985 reviews27 followers
July 31, 2021
Six to eight inch long green hairy caterpillars with yellow stripe underneath will gnaw through navels, penetrate into the groin, chew into the jugular and crawl down throats like red hot jagged knives. They will drop down from trees and attack unsuspecting people. Moths will spray poisonous liquid into peoples eyes. UK is under attack. Crazy and quick entertaining read.
Profile Image for Neil Davies.
Author 91 books57 followers
November 9, 2015
Nothing too clever, nothing too subtle, just good, honest creature horror fiction. A fun read.
Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews

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