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The Christian Family
A century ago when this book was first published, marriage and the family were already weathering enormous changes, and that trend has not abated. Yet by God’s power the unchanging essence of marriage and the family remains proof, as Bavinck notes, that God’s “purpose with the human race has not yet been achieved.”
Neither a ten-step guide nor a one-sided approach, this book embodies a Christian theology of marriage and the family. Accessible, thoroughly biblical, and astonishingly relevant, it offers a mature and concise handling of the origins of marriage and family life and the effects of sin on these institutions, an appraisal of historic Christian approaches, and an attempt to apply that theology.
Aptly reminding Christians that “the moral health of society depends on the health of family life,” Bavinck issues an evergreen challenge to God’s people: “Christians may not permit their conduct to be determined by the spirit of the age, but must focus on the requirement of God’s commandment.”
Neither a ten-step guide nor a one-sided approach, this book embodies a Christian theology of marriage and the family. Accessible, thoroughly biblical, and astonishingly relevant, it offers a mature and concise handling of the origins of marriage and family life and the effects of sin on these institutions, an appraisal of historic Christian approaches, and an attempt to apply that theology.
Aptly reminding Christians that “the moral health of society depends on the health of family life,” Bavinck issues an evergreen challenge to God’s people: “Christians may not permit their conduct to be determined by the spirit of the age, but must focus on the requirement of God’s commandment.”
188 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2012
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695 people want to read
About the author
Herman Bavinck
110 books190 followersHerman Bavinck (1854-1921) succeeded Abraham Kuyper as professor of systematic theology at the Free University of Amsterdam in 1902.
His nephew was Johan Herman Bavinck.
His nephew was Johan Herman Bavinck.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 49 reviews
September 11, 2024
Fantastic. This was a wonderful, short book on marriage and Christian families filled with many insights into human life, the differences between men and women (and husbands and wives), and the state of the Christian family at the beginning of the 20th century. Many reviewers see several of his applications as outdated and contextualized specifically for Bavinck's time and place, and though that is certainly true for some of them there are many (in the later chapters) that I thought would still be relevant for today's world a hundred years later.
August 10, 2022
5 ⭐️ for the first 2/3 of the book and 4 ⭐️ for the rest of it.
Everything is really good, but the last part of the book is less on family and more on society in general.
Bavinck’s theology on the family is so refreshing in the so often feminine and emotional approach on this topic in many modern Christian books.
Everything is really good, but the last part of the book is less on family and more on society in general.
Bavinck’s theology on the family is so refreshing in the so often feminine and emotional approach on this topic in many modern Christian books.
August 30, 2024
Bavinck covers both a theology of family/marriage and the issues facing the family in his day, most of which still have application today or were prescient of what we face now. Both are well done.
April 13, 2022
Bavinck is always a great read. I really appreciate this little book. The first half is almost a biblical theology of marriage and family. The second half is dealing with modern issues. He’s a little date in some points but I think he’s largely right in his application. The biggest qualm is his view of women at times.
April 19, 2024
"For children are the glory of marriage, the treasure of parents, the wealth of family life. They develop within their parents an entire cluster of virtues, such as paternal love and maternal affection, devotion and self-denial, care for the future, involvement in society, the art of nurturing. With their parents, children place restraints upon ambition, reconcile the contrasts, soften the differences, bring their souls ever closer together, provide them with a common interest that lies outside of them, and opens their eyes and hearts to their surroundings and for their posterity. As with living mirrors they show their parents their own virtues and faults, force them to reform themselves, mitigating their criticisms, and teaching them how hard it is to govern a person."
July 10, 2021
Hard to know what was a product of Bavinck’s time and what was a universal truth. Most of it would not be well received today, but still had some really good insights and uplifted the vital place of family for the people of God.
November 13, 2025
Hope to give a more thorough review later but this is easily in my top 3 for Christian books
July 19, 2022
Makes me want to have a family.
January 3, 2021
Bavinck ought to be regarded as one of the greatest thinkers in modern history—secular or religious. His mind operates on a higher plane, and his informal style is an inviting hand that lifts the reader to that upper air, to walk beside him, to see world from a new perspective.
April 29, 2024
It’s almost unbelievable that Bavinck published this in 1908. Remarkably relevant.
July 14, 2016
I really enjoyed this book for several reasons.
First, Bavinck wrote (1908) as some of the great transitions in family life and society were taking place. This included the movement away from an agrarian culture, the advancement of women's rights, increase in divorce, the allure of Marxism/socialism, the industrial revolution, and the push of evolutionary theory. This book gives you a window into the mind of a great Christian theologian during a period of drastic change.
Second, Bavinck sticks to principles while acknowledging that application can change. For example, he notes that women are working in various fields. He says that may be inevitable. But then he goes on to say that women should obtain jobs that line up with their central vocation, being wives and mothers. He also encourages women to be trained as housekeepers first and then in a vocation second. In keeping with this idea, he says that once puberty hits women should be educated differently than men. He keeps motherhood and being a wife at the center while acknowledging certain realities of modern life. He also does a good job of acknowledging that sin exists in all ages and yet each age does bring unique challenges.
Third, there was a lot more discussion of the state and society than one might think in a book like this. He discusses how dangerous the state takeover of a child's education is. He also says that the state educating children allows a woman to leave the home more easily. He also discusses private property, communal property, and the movement into the cities.
Fourth, he is unashamedly patriarchal. He calls women to obey and submit to their husbands. He says husbands are the masters of their homes.
Finally, he is a great writer. Part of this is due to the translators since he originally wrote in Dutch. But many sentences and paragraphs are a joy to read not just because of the content, but because of the way he says it.
My Rating System
1 Star-Terrible book and dangerous. Burn it in the streets.
2 Stars-Really bad book, would not recommend, probably has some dangerous ideas in it. Few books I read are 1 or 2 stars because I am careful about what I read.
3 Stars-Either I disagree with it at too many points to recommend it or it is just not a good book on the subject or for the genre. Would not read it again, reference it, or recommend it. But it is not necessarily dangerous except as a time waster.
4 Stars-Solid book on the subject or for the genre. I would recommend this book to others and would probably read it again or reference it. Most books fall in this category because I try not to read books I don’t think will be good. There is a quite a variety here. 3.6 is quite different from 4.5.
5 Stars-Excellent book. Classic in the genre or top of the line for the subject. I might also put a book in here that impacted me personally at the time I read it. I would highly recommend this book, even if I do not agree with all that it says. Few books fall in this category. Over time I have put less in this category.
First, Bavinck wrote (1908) as some of the great transitions in family life and society were taking place. This included the movement away from an agrarian culture, the advancement of women's rights, increase in divorce, the allure of Marxism/socialism, the industrial revolution, and the push of evolutionary theory. This book gives you a window into the mind of a great Christian theologian during a period of drastic change.
Second, Bavinck sticks to principles while acknowledging that application can change. For example, he notes that women are working in various fields. He says that may be inevitable. But then he goes on to say that women should obtain jobs that line up with their central vocation, being wives and mothers. He also encourages women to be trained as housekeepers first and then in a vocation second. In keeping with this idea, he says that once puberty hits women should be educated differently than men. He keeps motherhood and being a wife at the center while acknowledging certain realities of modern life. He also does a good job of acknowledging that sin exists in all ages and yet each age does bring unique challenges.
Third, there was a lot more discussion of the state and society than one might think in a book like this. He discusses how dangerous the state takeover of a child's education is. He also says that the state educating children allows a woman to leave the home more easily. He also discusses private property, communal property, and the movement into the cities.
Fourth, he is unashamedly patriarchal. He calls women to obey and submit to their husbands. He says husbands are the masters of their homes.
Finally, he is a great writer. Part of this is due to the translators since he originally wrote in Dutch. But many sentences and paragraphs are a joy to read not just because of the content, but because of the way he says it.
My Rating System
1 Star-Terrible book and dangerous. Burn it in the streets.
2 Stars-Really bad book, would not recommend, probably has some dangerous ideas in it. Few books I read are 1 or 2 stars because I am careful about what I read.
3 Stars-Either I disagree with it at too many points to recommend it or it is just not a good book on the subject or for the genre. Would not read it again, reference it, or recommend it. But it is not necessarily dangerous except as a time waster.
4 Stars-Solid book on the subject or for the genre. I would recommend this book to others and would probably read it again or reference it. Most books fall in this category because I try not to read books I don’t think will be good. There is a quite a variety here. 3.6 is quite different from 4.5.
5 Stars-Excellent book. Classic in the genre or top of the line for the subject. I might also put a book in here that impacted me personally at the time I read it. I would highly recommend this book, even if I do not agree with all that it says. Few books fall in this category. Over time I have put less in this category.
December 8, 2020
This is the best book on Christian living I’ve read in years. Bavinck’s pointed insights on the nature of man and woman, the creational institution of marriage, the organic roles of father/mother/child, as well as the virtue of work and vocation make contemporary guides on the family and marriage seem like stale cotton candy. His full throated defenses of the family against the perverse arts and corrupted sciences of his day remain painfully applicable. This ought to be required reading in premarital counseling. Small group leaders should move this to their short list of options. Bavinck wasn’t an inspired prophet and several of his applications and/or analyses proved at least somewhat misguided. Nevertheless, this work is densely packed with timeless and weighty truths sure to prepare the church for that glorious wedding feast at the end of the ages.
July 5, 2021
This was a fascinating book. A little dated at times. Prophetic at other times.
Lots of candor and straightforward talk about the divine origins and purposes of marriage.
Lots of candor and straightforward talk about the divine origins and purposes of marriage.
January 29, 2020
As I was reading this book, I kept thinking about the value of old books—perhaps, especially old books related to the topics of sexuality, marriage, and family. The year 1908 (when it was published) isn’t crazy old, but old enough.
Lewis once said, “Every age has its own outlook. It is specially good at seeing certain truths and specially liable to make certain mistakes. We all, therefore, need the books that will correct the characteristic mistakes of our own period. And that means the old books.”
The Christian Family by Herman Bavinck would be one such “clean sea breeze” book. Multiple times throughout the book I found myself amazed at how easy it was for Bavinck to acknowledge certain characteristics about men and women and family life that would frankly enrage our culture. He certainly wasn’t trying to be provocative (that’s not really Bavinck’s style), but that just goes to show you the kind of situation we find ourselves in. Perspective from the past can embolden and encourage you for the present. This book splashed some cold water in my face—in the best of ways, of course.
Bavinck sees the organic family as the foundational institution to which human beings belong, and he shows how the family existed prior to the church and state. He unpacks the significance that these truths entail on all of society and how no other institution can compensate for or replace the natural family. My appreciation for marriage, family, and childrearing—if ever it was lacking—was certainly augmented as a result of reading this book.
One of my favorite lines from the book:
“People and nations were very different from each other in various times and circumstances, but the man has always been a man and the woman has always been a woman. There is nothing mutable about this fact; we have only to accept it. It is not a work of the devil to be destroyed, but a work of the Father to be acknowledged.”
Lewis once said, “Every age has its own outlook. It is specially good at seeing certain truths and specially liable to make certain mistakes. We all, therefore, need the books that will correct the characteristic mistakes of our own period. And that means the old books.”
The Christian Family by Herman Bavinck would be one such “clean sea breeze” book. Multiple times throughout the book I found myself amazed at how easy it was for Bavinck to acknowledge certain characteristics about men and women and family life that would frankly enrage our culture. He certainly wasn’t trying to be provocative (that’s not really Bavinck’s style), but that just goes to show you the kind of situation we find ourselves in. Perspective from the past can embolden and encourage you for the present. This book splashed some cold water in my face—in the best of ways, of course.
Bavinck sees the organic family as the foundational institution to which human beings belong, and he shows how the family existed prior to the church and state. He unpacks the significance that these truths entail on all of society and how no other institution can compensate for or replace the natural family. My appreciation for marriage, family, and childrearing—if ever it was lacking—was certainly augmented as a result of reading this book.
One of my favorite lines from the book:
“People and nations were very different from each other in various times and circumstances, but the man has always been a man and the woman has always been a woman. There is nothing mutable about this fact; we have only to accept it. It is not a work of the devil to be destroyed, but a work of the Father to be acknowledged.”
December 31, 2023
This is the best book I’ve read on complementarianism. The first half is very biblical and the deepest break down I’ve encountered on these ideas.
The second half is a bit rough in comparison. Bavinck gets into the issue of society and how it effects the biblical view of family. His lack of economic and political knowledge is surprising and a bit jarring - I am used to him being one of the deeper theologians. He is very much a product of his times and was existing in a culture where most women wanted to be a homemaker, and this trend informs his views. Furthermore, he embraces science but rejects philosophy; in my opinion this is one of the great mistakes of western Christianity. Also his critique of modernity generally includes a rejection of Marxism but the actual issues he identifies are products of Capitalism - a lack of critique of capitalism causes his critique to be biased for right wing positions instead of focused on an objective “biblical” critique. Though his issue is with Capitalism, he is consistently critical of anti-capitalism movements, such as the French Revolution, and this is a consistent contradiction. He wastes a great of deal of pages opposing socialism and this threatens to undo his actual thesis in the work. Overall, he rejects cities and embraces a libertarian style world as the most biblical and ideal for the development of family. I am not sure how mission and evangelism plays a role in his theology since he is in favor of such isolationist ideas, which make mission more difficult.
While I found these opinions to be some of the weakest I’ve read from Bavinck, it did not under shadow the depth and power of the first half. I would recommend this book, but it is a bit of a slog and definitely outdated in many respects.
The second half is a bit rough in comparison. Bavinck gets into the issue of society and how it effects the biblical view of family. His lack of economic and political knowledge is surprising and a bit jarring - I am used to him being one of the deeper theologians. He is very much a product of his times and was existing in a culture where most women wanted to be a homemaker, and this trend informs his views. Furthermore, he embraces science but rejects philosophy; in my opinion this is one of the great mistakes of western Christianity. Also his critique of modernity generally includes a rejection of Marxism but the actual issues he identifies are products of Capitalism - a lack of critique of capitalism causes his critique to be biased for right wing positions instead of focused on an objective “biblical” critique. Though his issue is with Capitalism, he is consistently critical of anti-capitalism movements, such as the French Revolution, and this is a consistent contradiction. He wastes a great of deal of pages opposing socialism and this threatens to undo his actual thesis in the work. Overall, he rejects cities and embraces a libertarian style world as the most biblical and ideal for the development of family. I am not sure how mission and evangelism plays a role in his theology since he is in favor of such isolationist ideas, which make mission more difficult.
While I found these opinions to be some of the weakest I’ve read from Bavinck, it did not under shadow the depth and power of the first half. I would recommend this book, but it is a bit of a slog and definitely outdated in many respects.
July 5, 2020
Excellent concise theology of the family. Includes a discussion well worth pondering over relating the importance of the family to our broader civil society Some applications are dated, but thought-provoking nonetheless.
June 21, 2022
Wonderful! Alarming as well how truer his words are today than they were 100 years ago when written.
September 13, 2024
The last couple chapters get a little off topic as he considers larger society, but what precedes it is wonderful.
November 3, 2023
An important read for all Christians, in my humble opinion
January 23, 2020
Bavinck's introduces the thought of family as an institution created and handed down by God. The family is traced through the history of Israel. It is quite astonishing to consider the time frame by which Bavinck wrote, and how timeless truths of God created the family unit for our joy still resounds today in our culture, even while family is under attach and in question. This is a great reminder from regarding a God who initiates and wants to be known and has given us the family unit comprised of husbands, wives, fathers, mothers, sons, and daughters to display His glory. Notable mention of the last two chapters discussing family and other institutions.
August 6, 2016
A good book giving an overview of a biblical theology of family in the Bible with the last two chapters discussing the relationship between family, society, and the state. While some elements of this book pertain particularly to dutch society, the majority is still very useful for giving a biblical framework of the family, marriage, parenting, and the roles of husband and wife, rather than other books which solely focus on marriage to the exclusion of discussing it in the broader context of the family.
July 17, 2021
Good, balanced theologically but slightly dated in its social application. Still worth reading.
Second read: even more appreciation for the theological sub-structure, though the dated sections are still clearly there.
Second read: even more appreciation for the theological sub-structure, though the dated sections are still clearly there.
November 27, 2021
Considering this was written over a hundred years ago, it was remarkable how relevant it was, and how brilliant Bavinck's insights were for the modern family.
I think this should be required reading for young engaged Christians, as they prepare for marriage and family life.
I think this should be required reading for young engaged Christians, as they prepare for marriage and family life.
June 5, 2025
The Christian Family was written in 1908 in the Netherlands. The perspective and challenges on marriage and family are different than those in 21st Century America. The different perspective makes this book worth reading, but what really makes the book shine is Bavinck's skill as a writer and a theologian. All modern Christian books and talks on marriage and parenting I've read share a common weakness of a lack of depth. They tend to take the few verses which explicitly refer to marriage (Gen 1-3, Eph 5:22-33), and either perform some egregious eisegesis (I'm looking at you Grace Based Parenting), read personal experience as a norm, or borrow from secular counseling advice but give the advice a Christian veneer. Bavinck's book thankfully shares none of these weaknesses. His book is limited by the age and culture he was writing in, but his advice and situation in the Netherlands are not given to us to imitate. As the introduction says, even Bavinck himself changed his mind on some advice. But most of the book is not taken up with the specific cultural situation of 1908 Netherlands. Instead, the meat of the book is devoted to an understanding of what marriage is.
Bavinck turns to a diverse assortment of sources for understanding the family. He uses modern science, scripture, history, anthropology, church tradition, and the cultural context of the Netherlands to guide his discussion and understanding of a Christian family. The breadth and depth of his learning shines through and makes for a book which puts modern marriage and family books to shame. Scripture does end up having a lot to say about marriage, family, male and female relationships, and sexuality. You don't have to resort to eisegesis to fill the pages! Bavinck's fair and accurate engagement with modern views were a breath of fresh air. Reading a chapter engaging with the evolutionary understanding of the family is surprising to someone who has mostly read Evangelical books/sermons on sex. (Maybe I need to expand my reading to more non-Evangelical writings about sex then.)
Bavinck starts off his book by describing the origin of the family. He gives us a walk-through Genesis and the Creation account. Even though this chapter was only 8 pages, Bavinck managed to cram plenty of good information into the chapter. He describes the divine origin of marriage and the difference and complementarity of male and female (major emphases throughout the rest of the book).
After describing the origin of the family, Bavinck then turns to the disruption of the family due to sin. The curse in Gen 3 affects men and women differently, but even the curse was not without hope for humanity.
After describing the effects of sin on the family, Bavinck starts his broader analysis of the family by examining how the family has lived among the nations. He gives an outline of the current (for his time) scientific understanding of the origin of the family was. He then criticizes this view (though his understanding of common grace enables him to find good even in views he disagrees with) and goes on to talk about how families and cultures developed from Eden as well as the ravages of sin and promiscuity among families. He also points out the differences between men and women in historical societies.
Next, Bavinck examines the family in the Old Testament. The Israelites were a patriarchal society, and he sees their patriarchy reflected in the Law and in their culture. We would draw an incorrect inference if we decided that because Israel was patriarchal, women were devoid of all rights. The OT speaks highly of women on many occasions. Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel, Hannah, and others don't give the impression they were slaves at the whims of their husbands. Wives also were able to participate in feasts and other ceremonial elements. In addition, women have the unique privilege of being mothers, and Jewish lineage was determined through the mother’s side.
The NT starts with the best example of a family, holy family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. Even Jesus submits to his earthly father and mother. As part of Christ's fulfillment of the Law, he had to keep the fifth commandment, and Christ did that perfectly. The NT reveals aspects of marriage that were unclear in the OT. Marriage is still held in honor, but Christ reveals that marriage is temporary, and only for our mortal lives. The NT also commends celibacy as a good. Marriage is pictured as the norm, but for some, being single and celibate is better.
Marriage is good and marriage is ordained by God. But marriage is confronted by many dangers from both inside and outside the church. The elevation of celibacy by the Roman Catholic church caused an unhealthy imbalance, and the Protestant reformers swung too far to the other side and diminished the value of singleness. Sexual immorality is a continual temptation that men especially fall into. From outside of the church, many are calling for the abolition of marriage because of the many failed marriages.
But we do not need to abolish marriage. What we need instead is a reformation of marriage according to Christian principles. This reformation will be inward focused, but it will also include a clear understanding of what a family is. A family is the best earthly example of diversity and unity. A family is made up of male and female, each made differently, and each fulfilled in different ways. Both male and female have different sins, and both are tempted in different ways. Our humanity is not limited if we aren’t married (Jesus was fully human and celibate), but the norm for most humans is marriage. Celibacy is a good gift by God, but celibacy is not a gift given to everyone. Most are drawn to marriage, and most will flourish best in God's gift of a marriage.
A family is also made up of children, which are a blessing from God. Procreation is a necessary part of marriage, though individuals can be married and not have children without that invalidating their marriage. A marriage is a picture of unity and diversity, and children further enhance the diversity in a family. Each family is unique. Each family bears its own character. In a family we can best see a place where all are valued and all flourish. Children are valued as well as the disabled. "Nowhere are that unity and community, that diversity and exchange, that forming element and that nurturing power encountered so richly as in the sphere of the family." The family is the best place of nurture for children. In the home children are naturally taught in a myriad of organic ways.
A family is also the basic unit of society. Every other society we have draws from the family. But only the family is established by God at Creation. Even the church was not part of God's original creation. Man was made to establish culture and to form societies. Neither making culture nor work was caused by the Fall. Both are part of God's plan before the fall. Work is something good then, and to find joy in work is something the Christian is uniquely able to do because God blesses our work.
Bavinck continues to give a rich overview of the theological origins of culture in a chapter well worth reading. The final chapter I won't summarize as it contains a possible way forward for the family. I usually find prediction chapters in books, especially old books, the worst part. The outlining of the problem and shaping of the imagination and mind towards a solution are often better than the proposed solutions themselves, and Bavinck's book is no exception.
After finishing The Christian Family, I am impressed by Bavinck's erudition, and also his writing skill. I also appreciate his deep and scriptural vision for a Christian family. I did find a few points that challenged my views.
I was struck by the optimistic tone Bavinck takes in this book. The family is under assault in his time, and modern society has many ills, but Bavinck's writing stresses strongly the original good of God's creation. He was not as pessimistic towards the evils and ills of Western society as I am. Perhaps Bavinck’s greater optimism is a symptom of our respective places in history. He was writing before the mass slaughter of two world wars crushed much European optimism, while I have only known life haunted by the specter of the holocaust and with an upcoming environmental catastrophe at hand. I am encouraged by his view of what society should be like, and I share his hope (based only upon Christ), but I lack any expectation of our society to choose the good.
We can see Bavinck’s optimism reflected in his analysis of technology. While he recognizes some disruptions, modern technology has brought about, he considers technology to be something good, and he observes how all technology is an extension of what a human can already do. A paintbrush is an extension of a finger, a microscope and binoculars of our eyes. Both are true, but we can easily spot technologies which aren’t extensions of humanities current abilities. A hammer is an extension yes, but what about a windmill? Or the atom bomb? Or a plane? The latter three go beyond what humans can normally do. Modern technology is not the same as pre-modern technology, yet by confusing the two and assuming all can be lumped together under technology, Bavinck misses the disruption modern technology.
Bavinck's cultural perspective is both similar and foreign. There were times in the book when I felt he could have been writing about situations today. We still have the same problem of diminishing singleness and elevating sexual sins over all other sins for example. But there were other times when I realized clearly the Netherlands in 1908 is not 21st century America.
I am not sure if Bavinck's examples of the class based Dutch society are drawn more from his personal experience, or if the examples of servants and master was normative. Either way, I found much of his thoughts on the family to be centered on a more privileged lifestyle. Without knowing much about the socio-economic realities of the 20th century Netherlands I can't say how normative the situation he was writing about would have been, but his understanding of work and culture shares the flaw I see in other forms of culture making I have been exposed to. Understanding work and culture as good and sharing in God’s task to have dominion makes sense for those privileged enough to do white-collar work (like Bavinck and myself) but speaks little to the demoralizing reality of factory work.
A final element of note in The Christian Family is Bavinck's clear and unashamed emphasis on patriarchy. He believes patriarchy is ordained by God, and that men should be leaders in the house and society. I share some of his theological conclusions, but I do not share them confidently enough to write as directly as he does in this book. He writes many times about the value that women have, but he also stresses the different attitudes men and women have and that most women are best suited to be mothers at home. I would be curious to know how many of Bavinck's observations about the differences between men and women are anecdotal vs how many have anthropological or another scientific basis to back them up. To undertake that investigation would be a research project I don't have time for, but it points to the tricky problem of how culturally bound are masculinity and femininity, and what traits are masculine and feminine? These tricky questions are not addressed by the book, but I think they are prompted by reading the book.
I am grateful for the translation into English of The Christian Family. The Christian Family is my first book by Bavinck, but I hope, God willing, to read more in the future. This book shoots to the top of my Christian marriage and family books because of the theological and cultural depth and the beauty and clarity of the writing style. The only other bit of writing on marriage I have come across which had theological depth to the writing was in Alexander Schmemann's For the Life of the World, but that was only part of a chapter! Bavinck has given us an entire book, and even though parts of the book aren't applicable to our modern, American context, much value can still be gleaned from The Christian Family.
Bavinck turns to a diverse assortment of sources for understanding the family. He uses modern science, scripture, history, anthropology, church tradition, and the cultural context of the Netherlands to guide his discussion and understanding of a Christian family. The breadth and depth of his learning shines through and makes for a book which puts modern marriage and family books to shame. Scripture does end up having a lot to say about marriage, family, male and female relationships, and sexuality. You don't have to resort to eisegesis to fill the pages! Bavinck's fair and accurate engagement with modern views were a breath of fresh air. Reading a chapter engaging with the evolutionary understanding of the family is surprising to someone who has mostly read Evangelical books/sermons on sex. (Maybe I need to expand my reading to more non-Evangelical writings about sex then.)
Bavinck starts off his book by describing the origin of the family. He gives us a walk-through Genesis and the Creation account. Even though this chapter was only 8 pages, Bavinck managed to cram plenty of good information into the chapter. He describes the divine origin of marriage and the difference and complementarity of male and female (major emphases throughout the rest of the book).
After describing the origin of the family, Bavinck then turns to the disruption of the family due to sin. The curse in Gen 3 affects men and women differently, but even the curse was not without hope for humanity.
After describing the effects of sin on the family, Bavinck starts his broader analysis of the family by examining how the family has lived among the nations. He gives an outline of the current (for his time) scientific understanding of the origin of the family was. He then criticizes this view (though his understanding of common grace enables him to find good even in views he disagrees with) and goes on to talk about how families and cultures developed from Eden as well as the ravages of sin and promiscuity among families. He also points out the differences between men and women in historical societies.
Next, Bavinck examines the family in the Old Testament. The Israelites were a patriarchal society, and he sees their patriarchy reflected in the Law and in their culture. We would draw an incorrect inference if we decided that because Israel was patriarchal, women were devoid of all rights. The OT speaks highly of women on many occasions. Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel, Hannah, and others don't give the impression they were slaves at the whims of their husbands. Wives also were able to participate in feasts and other ceremonial elements. In addition, women have the unique privilege of being mothers, and Jewish lineage was determined through the mother’s side.
The NT starts with the best example of a family, holy family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. Even Jesus submits to his earthly father and mother. As part of Christ's fulfillment of the Law, he had to keep the fifth commandment, and Christ did that perfectly. The NT reveals aspects of marriage that were unclear in the OT. Marriage is still held in honor, but Christ reveals that marriage is temporary, and only for our mortal lives. The NT also commends celibacy as a good. Marriage is pictured as the norm, but for some, being single and celibate is better.
Marriage is good and marriage is ordained by God. But marriage is confronted by many dangers from both inside and outside the church. The elevation of celibacy by the Roman Catholic church caused an unhealthy imbalance, and the Protestant reformers swung too far to the other side and diminished the value of singleness. Sexual immorality is a continual temptation that men especially fall into. From outside of the church, many are calling for the abolition of marriage because of the many failed marriages.
But we do not need to abolish marriage. What we need instead is a reformation of marriage according to Christian principles. This reformation will be inward focused, but it will also include a clear understanding of what a family is. A family is the best earthly example of diversity and unity. A family is made up of male and female, each made differently, and each fulfilled in different ways. Both male and female have different sins, and both are tempted in different ways. Our humanity is not limited if we aren’t married (Jesus was fully human and celibate), but the norm for most humans is marriage. Celibacy is a good gift by God, but celibacy is not a gift given to everyone. Most are drawn to marriage, and most will flourish best in God's gift of a marriage.
A family is also made up of children, which are a blessing from God. Procreation is a necessary part of marriage, though individuals can be married and not have children without that invalidating their marriage. A marriage is a picture of unity and diversity, and children further enhance the diversity in a family. Each family is unique. Each family bears its own character. In a family we can best see a place where all are valued and all flourish. Children are valued as well as the disabled. "Nowhere are that unity and community, that diversity and exchange, that forming element and that nurturing power encountered so richly as in the sphere of the family." The family is the best place of nurture for children. In the home children are naturally taught in a myriad of organic ways.
A family is also the basic unit of society. Every other society we have draws from the family. But only the family is established by God at Creation. Even the church was not part of God's original creation. Man was made to establish culture and to form societies. Neither making culture nor work was caused by the Fall. Both are part of God's plan before the fall. Work is something good then, and to find joy in work is something the Christian is uniquely able to do because God blesses our work.
Bavinck continues to give a rich overview of the theological origins of culture in a chapter well worth reading. The final chapter I won't summarize as it contains a possible way forward for the family. I usually find prediction chapters in books, especially old books, the worst part. The outlining of the problem and shaping of the imagination and mind towards a solution are often better than the proposed solutions themselves, and Bavinck's book is no exception.
After finishing The Christian Family, I am impressed by Bavinck's erudition, and also his writing skill. I also appreciate his deep and scriptural vision for a Christian family. I did find a few points that challenged my views.
I was struck by the optimistic tone Bavinck takes in this book. The family is under assault in his time, and modern society has many ills, but Bavinck's writing stresses strongly the original good of God's creation. He was not as pessimistic towards the evils and ills of Western society as I am. Perhaps Bavinck’s greater optimism is a symptom of our respective places in history. He was writing before the mass slaughter of two world wars crushed much European optimism, while I have only known life haunted by the specter of the holocaust and with an upcoming environmental catastrophe at hand. I am encouraged by his view of what society should be like, and I share his hope (based only upon Christ), but I lack any expectation of our society to choose the good.
We can see Bavinck’s optimism reflected in his analysis of technology. While he recognizes some disruptions, modern technology has brought about, he considers technology to be something good, and he observes how all technology is an extension of what a human can already do. A paintbrush is an extension of a finger, a microscope and binoculars of our eyes. Both are true, but we can easily spot technologies which aren’t extensions of humanities current abilities. A hammer is an extension yes, but what about a windmill? Or the atom bomb? Or a plane? The latter three go beyond what humans can normally do. Modern technology is not the same as pre-modern technology, yet by confusing the two and assuming all can be lumped together under technology, Bavinck misses the disruption modern technology.
Bavinck's cultural perspective is both similar and foreign. There were times in the book when I felt he could have been writing about situations today. We still have the same problem of diminishing singleness and elevating sexual sins over all other sins for example. But there were other times when I realized clearly the Netherlands in 1908 is not 21st century America.
I am not sure if Bavinck's examples of the class based Dutch society are drawn more from his personal experience, or if the examples of servants and master was normative. Either way, I found much of his thoughts on the family to be centered on a more privileged lifestyle. Without knowing much about the socio-economic realities of the 20th century Netherlands I can't say how normative the situation he was writing about would have been, but his understanding of work and culture shares the flaw I see in other forms of culture making I have been exposed to. Understanding work and culture as good and sharing in God’s task to have dominion makes sense for those privileged enough to do white-collar work (like Bavinck and myself) but speaks little to the demoralizing reality of factory work.
A final element of note in The Christian Family is Bavinck's clear and unashamed emphasis on patriarchy. He believes patriarchy is ordained by God, and that men should be leaders in the house and society. I share some of his theological conclusions, but I do not share them confidently enough to write as directly as he does in this book. He writes many times about the value that women have, but he also stresses the different attitudes men and women have and that most women are best suited to be mothers at home. I would be curious to know how many of Bavinck's observations about the differences between men and women are anecdotal vs how many have anthropological or another scientific basis to back them up. To undertake that investigation would be a research project I don't have time for, but it points to the tricky problem of how culturally bound are masculinity and femininity, and what traits are masculine and feminine? These tricky questions are not addressed by the book, but I think they are prompted by reading the book.
I am grateful for the translation into English of The Christian Family. The Christian Family is my first book by Bavinck, but I hope, God willing, to read more in the future. This book shoots to the top of my Christian marriage and family books because of the theological and cultural depth and the beauty and clarity of the writing style. The only other bit of writing on marriage I have come across which had theological depth to the writing was in Alexander Schmemann's For the Life of the World, but that was only part of a chapter! Bavinck has given us an entire book, and even though parts of the book aren't applicable to our modern, American context, much value can still be gleaned from The Christian Family.
December 6, 2024
My first time reading Bavinck. As a layman, this was easily digestable (and short at ~ 160 pages).
Written in the early 1900s, much of it was prophetic & timeless and some was less relevant today.
Stirring. Gives a target at which to aim in the Christian family.
Quotes/highlights (and many more not posted below):
The “grace restores nature” idea is, at its core, an affirmation of nature. In the postfall world, grace does not remove our physicality, nor does it require us to live ascetic lives or disdain marriage. Rather, grace works to restore all of those things to their prefall beauty and holiness.
In this reality the man finds no basis for pride, for he received the woman, whom he desired, entirely apart from his own effort, apart from his own knowledge and volition, while in a deep sleep, which God had placed upon his soul and body.
the first included the obligation to develop all the treasures that God had deposited in the earth; and the second involved the calling to protect the entire creation against every hostile power seeking to ruin the creation, and to preserve it from the tyranny of destructive forces.
The authority of the father, the love of the mother, and the obedience of the child form in their unity the threefold cord that binds together and sustains all relationships within human society.
Shame is a sign of an awakened conscience, that human capacity which pronounces a person guilty and condemns him.
Every marriage blends various psychological gifts and distinct physical strengths, becoming thereby a new source of a particular fullness of life.
Even the nature of sin and the manner of sinning demonstrate that one is a human being and was originally created not in the image of the ape, but in the image of God.
within the heart of husband and wife, of parents and children, he preserved the natural love that he had planted in that heart, and thereby opened a fountain of pure happiness and inestimable blessing for earthly life.
Great significance was attached to the blood relationship via the mother. The expression “sons of my mother” occurs several times (Gen. 43:29).
Family and wife, male and female slaves, ox and donkey were all his property (Exod. 20:17). The home, the entire family constituted one organic unit, with the patriarch as head.
The sacredness of marriage comes to fullest expression in that it serves as an image of the covenant of fidelity between God and his people.
Mary occupies an entirely unique place in the history of the human race. She surpasses even the prophets and the apostles in esteem and honor; she alone was deigned to be mother of the Son of God; she is blessed and favored among women, and is called blessed by all the families of the earth.
one who even looks lustfully at a (married) woman has already committed adultery with her in his heart [Matt. 5:27–28]. Such a person, if it were up to him, would already have caused that married woman to commit adultery and have broken up her marriage.
-Jesus establishes the bond between husband and wife and just as importantly, between parents and children, as once again something unbreakable.
from the mouths of young children and nursing babies the Lord establishes strength and fashions praise for himself (Matt. 21:16).
The immorality of the French royalty set the tone for many countries, and together with increasing unbelief, prepared the way for the great Revolution. Rousseau was its spiritual father; and as the preacher of an unbound religion of feeling, he himself lived with concubines and abandoned his children.
Written in the early 1900s, much of it was prophetic & timeless and some was less relevant today.
Stirring. Gives a target at which to aim in the Christian family.
Quotes/highlights (and many more not posted below):
The “grace restores nature” idea is, at its core, an affirmation of nature. In the postfall world, grace does not remove our physicality, nor does it require us to live ascetic lives or disdain marriage. Rather, grace works to restore all of those things to their prefall beauty and holiness.
In this reality the man finds no basis for pride, for he received the woman, whom he desired, entirely apart from his own effort, apart from his own knowledge and volition, while in a deep sleep, which God had placed upon his soul and body.
the first included the obligation to develop all the treasures that God had deposited in the earth; and the second involved the calling to protect the entire creation against every hostile power seeking to ruin the creation, and to preserve it from the tyranny of destructive forces.
The authority of the father, the love of the mother, and the obedience of the child form in their unity the threefold cord that binds together and sustains all relationships within human society.
Shame is a sign of an awakened conscience, that human capacity which pronounces a person guilty and condemns him.
Every marriage blends various psychological gifts and distinct physical strengths, becoming thereby a new source of a particular fullness of life.
Even the nature of sin and the manner of sinning demonstrate that one is a human being and was originally created not in the image of the ape, but in the image of God.
within the heart of husband and wife, of parents and children, he preserved the natural love that he had planted in that heart, and thereby opened a fountain of pure happiness and inestimable blessing for earthly life.
Great significance was attached to the blood relationship via the mother. The expression “sons of my mother” occurs several times (Gen. 43:29).
Family and wife, male and female slaves, ox and donkey were all his property (Exod. 20:17). The home, the entire family constituted one organic unit, with the patriarch as head.
The sacredness of marriage comes to fullest expression in that it serves as an image of the covenant of fidelity between God and his people.
Mary occupies an entirely unique place in the history of the human race. She surpasses even the prophets and the apostles in esteem and honor; she alone was deigned to be mother of the Son of God; she is blessed and favored among women, and is called blessed by all the families of the earth.
one who even looks lustfully at a (married) woman has already committed adultery with her in his heart [Matt. 5:27–28]. Such a person, if it were up to him, would already have caused that married woman to commit adultery and have broken up her marriage.
-Jesus establishes the bond between husband and wife and just as importantly, between parents and children, as once again something unbreakable.
from the mouths of young children and nursing babies the Lord establishes strength and fashions praise for himself (Matt. 21:16).
The immorality of the French royalty set the tone for many countries, and together with increasing unbelief, prepared the way for the great Revolution. Rousseau was its spiritual father; and as the preacher of an unbound religion of feeling, he himself lived with concubines and abandoned his children.
October 30, 2025
Finished this one in preparation for an upcoming book club next week. Short, but thick read. an excellent description though of the importance of family, and particularly the Christian view of family, in relationship with society. It does make you wonder if most of the complications in society today do stem from broken and unbiblical families. At the same time, I feel a bit conflicted with his strong pull towards patriarchal families and do wonder if that is always the way it "needs" to be as he suggests. He seems to have a particularly strong view of women as homemakers and men as providers, yet he also comments that the true goal of the family was for family to all work together as one, but our society has split us into specific jobs rather than working together at home for the common good of the family.
April 17, 2018
Bavinck does a great job of describing the roles of men and women within the family unit as well as describe how the family effects and operates within society. He lays out how our fallen society attempts to dismantle the family and how we can guard against those attacks. In the end, he reassures the reader that, no matter how or what society tries to do, it will never destroy the family because it is a creation of God. He will continue to uphold it until the day comes when it's purpose has been served and is no longer necessary. And until that day, when we are wed, the church to Christ, the family will continue to exist as a symbol and declaration of that glorious union.
April 5, 2024
This was my first taste of Bavinck, and I really enjoyed it. The exposition of the family from creation to our modern culture (as in early 1900s) was superb. I found myself underlining something on almost every page. The attacks on the family that he describes are nothing new, but I took great comfort in one of the statements at the end: "The family will not disintegrate, but marriage and family will continue to exist until God achieves his intention with them." This book also had some great arguments against the wiles of evolution and socialism, ones that still apply and need to be repeated today.
August 31, 2024
Herman Bavinck’s The Christian Family may feel dated in certain respects, yet it resonates with a prophetic voice, speaking to the contemporary deterioration of the family structure. Bavinck’s call to honor marriage and the responsibility of raising children stirred my soul, providing deep, soul-searching moments. While some cultural references may not align with today’s context, the book is filled with nuggets of wisdom that are as relevant today as they were in Bavinck’s time, offering plenty to reflect on and apply in the current age.
January 11, 2020
Less focused on Scriptural texts and more focused on biblical observations in society, Bavinck does a good job of presenting a carefully reasoned and practically applied anthropology. At several points he provides a fresh perspective with noteworthy applications that are worth the read, but an abridged version could carry the same value more efficiently.
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