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Compared to Her...: How to Experience True Contentment
"I am a recovering Compulsive Comparison Syndrome sufferer. It causes me to feel envy, despair, pride and superiority. It cuts away at my relationship with God, with my loved ones, and with myself. It has promised me contentment, and yet robbed me of it.
And although I don't know you at all, I'm fairly sure you have CCS, too. That's not meant to sound rude. It's just that I've rarely met a woman who doesn't struggle with it."
This book is about how to spot this syndrome and its effects in your life; the view of life that causes it; how the gospel treats it; and how you can move beyond it to live a life of true, lasting contentment.
And although I don't know you at all, I'm fairly sure you have CCS, too. That's not meant to sound rude. It's just that I've rarely met a woman who doesn't struggle with it."
This book is about how to spot this syndrome and its effects in your life; the view of life that causes it; how the gospel treats it; and how you can move beyond it to live a life of true, lasting contentment.
96 pages, Paperback
First published October 1, 2012
39 people are currently reading
226 people want to read
About the author
Sophie de Witt
4 books2 followersSophie is the author of Compared to her… and One-to-Ones, and a popular conference speaker. She grew up in Cornwall and worked in international development, based in London, before moving to Cape Town, South Africa. Married to Chris, a pastor, she has three children.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 43 reviews
March 15, 2014
We all do it... compare ourselves to others... and end up feeling either superior or inadequate.
This short book was a fascinating study of this trait which is particularly strong in women. It considers what causes it, looks at what the Biblical Gospel message says about it, and then discusses how we can move beyond it to live a life of true contentment.
As someone who is definitely a sufferer of the Complusive Comparison Syndrome I found this book really interesting. It encouraged me to think beyond my comparison to others, put God in the right place in my life and to consider who God made me to be rather than who God made her to be. Lots still to think on.
This short book was a fascinating study of this trait which is particularly strong in women. It considers what causes it, looks at what the Biblical Gospel message says about it, and then discusses how we can move beyond it to live a life of true contentment.
As someone who is definitely a sufferer of the Complusive Comparison Syndrome I found this book really interesting. It encouraged me to think beyond my comparison to others, put God in the right place in my life and to consider who God made me to be rather than who God made her to be. Lots still to think on.
December 19, 2018
This was a quality little book. de Witt traces our experience of contentment along the biblical storyline. It’s a short book which makes its highly accessible.
Her last two chapters are great tracks to run on and very down to earth.
If you are struggling with comparison this is a great little book to begin with. Plus it’s chalk full of Bible.
Her last two chapters are great tracks to run on and very down to earth.
If you are struggling with comparison this is a great little book to begin with. Plus it’s chalk full of Bible.
May 26, 2020
Essential start point for any woman struggling with comparison. It's a great resource and although the message is simple, it keeps a clear focus throughout. If you are seeking practical strategies this is not the book for that. This is about initially unpicking causes and roots of comparison and then looking at how these can be challenged in light of the Gospel.
At times the idea of comparison being treated as an illness or CCS felt a little wearing, since comparison is a choice and question of attitude rather than sickness. However, I understand that using and appealing to comparison in this way created a simple structure for the book. I just wonder if it could have been executed differently is all. I also could see how someone who comes with expectations for practical strategy may feel frustrated by the simple message of let God be God. However I would encourage those who feel that way to continue reading as there is insight and use in reading truths, even if you feel you know this already.
Bottom line is this is a great book and one I would highly recommend to any woman struggling with comparison as an initial starting point of handling this common issue.
At times the idea of comparison being treated as an illness or CCS felt a little wearing, since comparison is a choice and question of attitude rather than sickness. However, I understand that using and appealing to comparison in this way created a simple structure for the book. I just wonder if it could have been executed differently is all. I also could see how someone who comes with expectations for practical strategy may feel frustrated by the simple message of let God be God. However I would encourage those who feel that way to continue reading as there is insight and use in reading truths, even if you feel you know this already.
Bottom line is this is a great book and one I would highly recommend to any woman struggling with comparison as an initial starting point of handling this common issue.
February 15, 2025
This book was recommended to me by, funnily enough, a male friend. It was a good read, easy to understand, personally convicting, and helpful for giving categories in assessing what the author describes as CCS - compulsive comparison syndrome. The book helps us address this sinful default for many Christians. It wasn’t particularly geared towards women, although comparison is something I think women deeply struggle with. With that in mind, it’s a good book for ALL to read!
August 12, 2025
It was the book that I didn’t think I needed.
(I know, how ironic…)
In 2022–23, my mentor and I often talked and prayed about the women at our church. During that season, this little book kept coming up, useful for ministry, helpful for my own character growth, and worth checking for relevance to younger women, since it was first published in 2012.
And look, I’ll be honest… I was pretty pessimistic going into it. But as de Witt began, she started to gently dismantle my assumptions (in a loving way, of course).
Her tone is warm and pastoral, but she is also direct and honest.
Compared to Her is a short (only 103 pages!) but sharp and perceptive book about comparison, both the conscious kind and the (arguably more dangerous) subconscious kind.
Right from the first page, de Witt doesn’t just explain what comparison is and why it’s unhelpful, she names it. She calls it Compulsive Comparison Syndrome (CCS), and continues to use that phrase throughout the book to help readers see just how pervasive and destructive it can be to Christian contentment and identity.
(Side note: I personally found the acronym “CCS” a bit cringey and maybe even distracting, but I think I’m in the minority there. The content holds up.)
“Comparison cuts away at my relationship with God, with my loved ones, and with myself. It has promised me contentment, and yet robbed me of it.
I read this book in two sittings and I’m so glad I did. After reading Chapters 1–4, I went about life with some of de Witt’s key ideas echoing in my head, and began to notice just how often comparison shows up in me, whether I’m looking up in envy or looking down in pride.
I highly recommend you do the same. In fact, Chapter 5 even opens with a little acknowledgment that thinking deeply about CCS might be messing with your head a bit, and that’s okay.
Chapters 6 and 7 then turn the corner to offer a treatment plan for CCS. And it’s not five hot tips to boost your self-worth. It’s the gospel.
The solution? Letting God be God. Remembering, knowing, and living out the truth that he is the “blessing-bringing Creator” and the “blessing-restoring Saviour”. Our identity is not up for negotiation or comparison, it is secure in Christ.
This would be an excellent book for a long-time Christian, a new believer (Chapter 6 presents the gospel so clearly through the lens of comparison and contentment), or someone on the edges of faith wrestling with self-worth.
I commend this book to you if comparison is something you know you wrestle with.
I commend it to you even more if you think it’s not really a thing for you.
And I especially commend it to you if you’d rather not think about comparison at all.
That was me. And yet, this book gently revealed that comparison is often lurking beneath my insecurities and self-doubt.
Notable quote:
- “… that’s because being ‘enough’, always has to be based on a comparison.”
(I know, how ironic…)
In 2022–23, my mentor and I often talked and prayed about the women at our church. During that season, this little book kept coming up, useful for ministry, helpful for my own character growth, and worth checking for relevance to younger women, since it was first published in 2012.
And look, I’ll be honest… I was pretty pessimistic going into it. But as de Witt began, she started to gently dismantle my assumptions (in a loving way, of course).
Her tone is warm and pastoral, but she is also direct and honest.
Compared to Her is a short (only 103 pages!) but sharp and perceptive book about comparison, both the conscious kind and the (arguably more dangerous) subconscious kind.
Right from the first page, de Witt doesn’t just explain what comparison is and why it’s unhelpful, she names it. She calls it Compulsive Comparison Syndrome (CCS), and continues to use that phrase throughout the book to help readers see just how pervasive and destructive it can be to Christian contentment and identity.
(Side note: I personally found the acronym “CCS” a bit cringey and maybe even distracting, but I think I’m in the minority there. The content holds up.)
“Comparison cuts away at my relationship with God, with my loved ones, and with myself. It has promised me contentment, and yet robbed me of it.
I read this book in two sittings and I’m so glad I did. After reading Chapters 1–4, I went about life with some of de Witt’s key ideas echoing in my head, and began to notice just how often comparison shows up in me, whether I’m looking up in envy or looking down in pride.
I highly recommend you do the same. In fact, Chapter 5 even opens with a little acknowledgment that thinking deeply about CCS might be messing with your head a bit, and that’s okay.
Chapters 6 and 7 then turn the corner to offer a treatment plan for CCS. And it’s not five hot tips to boost your self-worth. It’s the gospel.
The solution? Letting God be God. Remembering, knowing, and living out the truth that he is the “blessing-bringing Creator” and the “blessing-restoring Saviour”. Our identity is not up for negotiation or comparison, it is secure in Christ.
This would be an excellent book for a long-time Christian, a new believer (Chapter 6 presents the gospel so clearly through the lens of comparison and contentment), or someone on the edges of faith wrestling with self-worth.
I commend this book to you if comparison is something you know you wrestle with.
I commend it to you even more if you think it’s not really a thing for you.
And I especially commend it to you if you’d rather not think about comparison at all.
That was me. And yet, this book gently revealed that comparison is often lurking beneath my insecurities and self-doubt.
Notable quote:
- “… that’s because being ‘enough’, always has to be based on a comparison.”
June 12, 2013
Overall, this book has been helpful to highlight the problem with our tendency to compare ourselves to others - either looking up to them or looking down on them. It is a thorough approach to the topic, and gets you identifying where you fall victim to this way of thinking, even when you'd not seen it before. I'm not sure I fully appreciate the style of writing, as there's quite a bit of repetition, and a lot of alliteration, which became a bit trying on my patience. But the conclusion of the book is a brilliant reminder of God's grace to prevent us feeling despair/pride when we compare ourselves to others, and his grace when once again we fall into those traps. Which made the rest of the book worthwhile.
September 5, 2013
Raises a good issue, but I think the author fails to distinguish between when comparison can be a good motivator and sinful comparison.
August 21, 2018
'Compared to her' by Sophie de Wit is an easy to read yet hard-hitting book that deals with a struggle that, if we are honest, most of us can relate to! In this image-obsessed society in which we live, we are bombarded with how we should look, how our houses should look and what our lives should be like, on a daily basis. Social media tricks us into thinking that all of our friends have the perfect homes, the perfect families and a much better social life than we do. Then comes the danger of comparison- We begin to compare our lives with the lives of those around us, which steals our joy, our contentment and our enjoyment of all the blessings that God has given to us! In this very accessible 103-page book, Sophie de Wit explores this topic in great detail and ultimately reminds the reader how true contentment is found when we 'Let God be God' in our lives. A must-read for every Christian!
August 13, 2017
A helpful and readable book exploring the comparisons we make with other people, whether positively or negatively, and how such comparisons can work to rob us of our contentment. Sophie de Witt helps us to consider how we can battle jealously looking up to others and judgmentally looking down on others to free us up to serve God and others more, in whatever situation we find ourselves in. I would have valued a bit more on the "treatment", but it is a very helpful book for highlighting the problem of unhelpful comparisons in our lives and how we can begin to challenge them with God's help.
April 16, 2021
A great short little book about compulsive comparison syndrome. The last couple of chapters were my favorite, the author goes into the proverbs 31 woman and how she can often bring out the comparison syndrome. Honestly this probably could have been a really long article or a shorter book. I liked the little stories she shared and it could have used a few more to keep it really interesting, after a while it felt repetitive. Overall, it was good. I would recommend it if comparison is something you wanted to learn more about.
April 7, 2022
Sophie de Witt writes clearly, relatable, and with a gospel centered focus on a part of ourselves that I think many of us take for granted, yet shouldn't. Some might complain that the book is too simple or not overly deep or academic, but I think this book is exactly what it needs to be. I have struggled with comparing myself for a long time and the way this book breaks everything down is helpful and profound in its own way. I feel that I now have a better mindset and have more tools and knowledge for when I find myself in the comparison game.
January 6, 2018
A short book about a big problem. Women particularly constantly compare themselves to each other. Sophie de Witt goes about outlining the problem, the symptoms and the treatment for what she calls CCS compulsive comparison syndrome. I will read some of the other books she suggests at the back of the book as I found this one so helpful. A great book for any women, written with Christians and non Christians in mind.
January 30, 2020
Concise and easy-to-read, 'Compared to Her' is a helpful book that addresses our struggle with comparisons thad to lead to discontentment and feelings of superiority or inferiority. Sophie explains that the cure to 'Compulsive Comparison Syndrome' (CSS) is finding our identity in Christ and shares wonderful truths from Ephesians 2 to make this point. The book helped me to identify CSS in my own life, pray for contentment, and to strive to be a Proverbs 31 woman who fears the Lord.
June 2, 2019
Good content, and great examples which help to really see the extent of the comparison problem in its different forms in my own heart. It's a fairly easy read with nothing particularly new for me. I have been more helped by Keller's "The freedom of self - forgetfulness" which is really addressing the same root issue.
October 28, 2021
Great book, nice and short and fairly concise. It did a good job of exploring how true contentment can only be found in Christ, and finding our pride/worth in anything other than Christ is a sin that we can overcome by Jesus’ forgiveness and with the help of the Holy Spirit. It was also great to see lots of Bible throughout!
February 5, 2022
A friend had this book lying around so not a book I would naturally pick up. I suppose everyone compares and it did make me think about how I use comparison in day to day life but I didn’t resonate with the examples. The book seemed a bit repetitive with its ideas and didn’t really explore anything in depth
July 31, 2017
A nice, thought-provoking, short read that encourages honest self-examination and reorienting the heart from envious or prideful comparison to others, to finding security and contentment in Christ alone.
January 26, 2024
A brief but important book on not comparing yourself to others and finding contentment in Christ - it could have been fleshed out in some areas, but for some reason there seems to be a number of these books where they seem to be afraid that the reader can't make it to 100 pages.
February 5, 2025
I don’t remember where I found this little book - but I found it really thought provoking and eye opening. It really did make me think about what she calls “idol measurements” in my life, created by constantly comparing myself to others. I found it helpful and thought provoking.
July 12, 2017
Summer 2017 - such a great book! Simple and straightforward, but convicting, this is a great encouragement for women (or men) struggling with finding contentment in Christ. Definitely recommend!
March 30, 2018
Such a short, simple book but such a powerful reminder. Let God be God, I need to get off the throne. Highly recommended.
April 9, 2018
Helpfully lays out the issues that modern day ladies face
July 17, 2018
Imitate Christ, look to God, remember everyone is a sinner especially me. Remember the cross and that you are saved by grace an grace alone.
July 31, 2019
Really helpful and encouraging book.
December 31, 2019
Such a useful book - a really good way to realign your priorities!
January 28, 2020
Writing style:🌟 🌟 🌟
Engagement:🌟 🌟 🌟
Content:🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟
Purpose:🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟
Value:🌟 🌟 🌟
Overall: 3.4/5
Engagement:🌟 🌟 🌟
Content:🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟
Purpose:🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟
Value:🌟 🌟 🌟
Overall: 3.4/5
May 8, 2020
Thought-provoking - 3.5*
April 13, 2021
3.5 stars
December 27, 2021
Nice and clear and filled with Bible - thank you Karen 😊
May 30, 2022
Hmm. It did seem very good, this book, but a lot of it didn’t land (as is often the case with me 😅). But hey, I’ve got an excuse to read it again 😂
Displaying 1 - 30 of 43 reviews