Sir Tristan is Just Awful (Arthur Dies at the End) (Volume 3) by Jeffrey P Wikstrom

Arthur Dies at the End #3

by Jeffrey Wikstrom

DID YOU Tristan took a break from his tragic love story with Isolde (the hottest lady in Cornwall) to enjoy an affair with the second-hottest lady in Cornwall? During a period of exile from Cornwall, Tristan became king of Brittany and married the princess there, whose name was also Isolde? Tristan wandered away from Brittany and his wife and never returned, or even mentioned them ever again? King Mark’s savage betrayal and murder of Tristan and Isolde ended up on the cutting room floor? If you did know all those things, clearly you’ve read Le Morte d’Arthur by Sir Thomas Malory, and I pity you. No one should have to slog through that pile of continuity errors and insipid descriptions of jousts. I’ve spent years of my life poring over all twenty-one Books of this foundational work of fantasy literature, dreadful as it is. Here, for your amusement and edification, I recount, dissect, and ruthlessly mock each ridiculous plot contrivance, each self-contradictory anecdote, and each unnamed damsel who runs in from offscreen and dies. Arthur Dies at the End volume 3: Sir Tristan is Just Awful covers Books VIII through X of Le Morte d’Arthur. Here you’ll find the almost-complete saga of Tristan and Isolde, such as it all of Tristan’s random murders, heartless abandonments, and pointless dick moves. Thrill as Tristan rampages his petulant way across Arthur’s realm, picking fights and insulting his friends!

ARTHUR DIES AT THE I read Le Morte d’Arthur so you don’t have to!

Genres: Arthurian

Paperback

First published January 1, 2014

Reviews

[Craig Little · Rating 3 out of 5]

Winston's hilarious concordance of Malory continues apace, and his absolute hatred of many of Sir Thomas's writing tics are beyond hilarious.

Also, the mental images some of the names Wikstrom provides as they aren't in the source texts are fantastic.

Also, the running tally of Jousting tournaments and the point by point breakdown of exactly how Sir Tristram truly was just awful is surprisingly brilliant.

[Charles Hawes · Rating 3 out of 5]

Jeffrey does the best he can with the tools he is given. Malory is sloppy in his storytelling, but that just leads to satirical works like this. Three stars for length, but again, we can really blame that on the source material.