The Muse

by Suzie Carr

At twenty-nine, Jane Knoll is convinced that she will never experience her first kiss. Bullied as a teenager, she lives life under a veil of insecurity and loneliness. Her social life consists of television reruns and a weekly laundry night with her neighbor, Larry. Then, hope rises when Jane starts following her beautiful, magnetic co-worker Eva on Twitter. Under the protective disguise of an alter ego, Jane experiences the joy of flirting and the rush of euphoria. Eva and Jane quickly launch into an online love affair that brings out the best in Jane. Behind the safety of her laptop screen, she becomes confident and empowered with purpose and talent. But face-to-face, Jane is nothing more than Eva’s nondescript, clumsy co-worker—a social catastrophe. For the first time in her life, Jane has discovered true bliss—happiness in love, newfound success in a writing career, and the chance to make a difference in the world. But can she live the rest of her life as an alter ego? Is she brave enough to reveal her true identity and risk squandering it all?

Genres: Lesbian, Romance, LGBT, Lesbian Romance, Lesbian Fiction, Audiobook, Ebooks

254 pages, Paperback

First published November 21, 2012

About the author

Suzie Carr is a contemporary novelist, podcaster on the Lesbian Talk Show, avid blogger, and Director of Membership for the Golden Crown Literary Society. When she's not writing, conducting hands-on research, exercising, or blending a green smoothie concoction, she's likely engaged in the sweet memory of her beloved boxers, Sunshine and Bumblebee, enjoying a few giggles over their funny antics and embracing their loving spirit as they undeniably watch over her from the Rainbow Bridge.

Whether it's writing fiction books about love and life, inspiring new authors, advocating for LGBT equality and animal welfare or blogging about community awareness, positive living, taking action and inspiration, Suzie remains passionate in her beliefs!

Suzie's love for the written word started back when she was a child. She enjoyed visiting the library every Saturday to spend hours reading. Books quickly became a constant companion to her and remained as such throughout her childhood.

Soon after graduating from Rhode Island College, Suzie wrote her first novel, The Fiche Room, a coming-of-age novel about two women falling in love. Over the years The Fiche Room grew from its humble e-book origins to an Amazon Kindle best seller receiving glowing reviews. Her upcoming novel, The Pet Boutique, revisits with Emma, Haley, and Goldie from The Fiche Room as they join a new cast of characters in their cameo roles.

With twelve bestsellers on Amazon Kindle, Suzie continues to enjoy writing about the beauty of love and life.

Suzie Carr believes strongly in giving back to the community. She donates a portion of book sale proceeds to the Hearts United for Animals.

Reviews

[T · Rating 5 out of 5]

I suspect opinions of this book can vary widely. You either get it, or you don't. I personally loved it based on subject matter, and the author's ability to tell the story. So many passages in this book spoke to me, that i had to stop highlighting when it became obvious i'd be doing that all day. We are readers and i suspect a good portion are introverts, for one reason or another. And when you spend a majority of your life in your head, you give up trying to explain it because no one 'gets it'. If you are among those ranks, i recommend this book.

One reviewer pointed out that rehashing those depressing thoughts, only made things worse. And it may for some people. I personally found comfort in spending time with someone that seems to understand. Suzie did an excellent job of putting words to feelings and thoughts that many people couldn't even begin to explain. And she added a good dose of humor throughout that is sure to lift anyone's spirits. A majority of the book is spent on the thoughts and personal struggles of the main character, Jane. I can see where that may drag on if you can't personally relate to the story. And it is not a fast or high action plot, so be ready to spend some time being introspective when reading this book.

The one thing that slightly bothered me with this book, was the ending. It didn't feel plausible to me, a bit too fairytale-like. But i enjoyed the main story so much, that it still gets 5 stars from me. I recommend reading the sample. If this seems like a story that speaks to you, you will undoubtedly love this book. And i'll certainly be checking out more by this author.

[Lexxi Kitty · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this book. Mind you I did just read it more or less straight through and it is 3 am now. So my brain is not working at full capacity at moment.

This is much more the story of one woman rather than a couple. But a lovely little coupling did occur in this book.

[Lindsay · Rating 5 out of 5]

~I typically read through books incredibly fast. With this book I specifically chose to take my time. I let the book stay on simmer for a while so I could thoroughly digest each and every piece for its true value to the whole. This book is incredible in subtle ways. Everyone could read this and take something from it. Granted we may not all take away the same things but that's ok. I enjoyed the story that was told and the characters that were created made their way into my heart and there they will stay.
~I loved the main character Jane. I did not always agree with her but I enjoyed every emotion she brought out in me. And there was alot of emotion. She is someone that we could all be. My heart bled for this woman. I wanted to hold her and tell her it would all be ok. She deserved it to be ok, better than that in fact, she deserved things to be great.
~I also loved the secondary characters. They were interesting in their own right and brought much needed comic relief and a little spice to the mix.

I won't give away the ending here but I want to make a remark about it so a potential Spoiler ahead.

~Some people may not like the ending because of how sugary sweet it seems. I saw it differently. There was a lot of sour for these people, they deserved their sweet by the end of it. I really believe that one person can be the answer for someone. The person that will truly love you unconditionally, that understands, makes things better, or just shares the hurt. The way we find each other is never the same for everybody but for me the finding each other is the important part.

[Kimberly · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think other reviewers have given enough details about the romantic portion of this novel. I think that Carr went above and beyond in her depiction of bullying. It is in-depth and accurate information. You will have no choice but to fall in love with characters and their stories. I would recommend this to all.

[Ty · Rating 1 out of 5]

The plot was poorly executed, the main character is extremely unlikable, and the writing style is so bad it's distracting. I've now read two books from this author, and that is more than enough to convince me that I don't want to read any others.

[Mere · Rating 3 out of 5]

the internal monologue of self loathing was very interesting to read.

[Lynn Lawler · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved the main character who was nicknamed “Plain Jane.” Jane was a late twenty something intelligent woman who had never been in love. She was shy and had some fear tendencies. What the reader finds out is that this woman had been bullied as a child while her peers did nothing. This got my attention because as a child, I too had in the same boat. Like the main character, I, too, shied away from life as an early adult.

Jane meets up with a mystery woman who she communicates with via Twitter. She now becomes Carefree Jane. Jane so much wants to meet this woman. However, her pains to her past are preventing her from pursuing much more than an internet relationship. Her only saving grace is her best friend, who does his best to try to get her to break out of her shell.

As the story goes on, Jane is forced to deal with her insecurities. I feel that this story helped me unlock my stuck fears. I too was placed in a position where I had to deal with my fears on this issue.

The author does a fantastic job of painting these emotional pictures. I was in awe of the main character at a certain point in the story.

I loved the chasing romance and the sex was HOT! The author did a really great job in building up the ambience. I could not wait to read what was going to happen next. When you read this, you will feel the chemistry explode!

I thoroughly enjoyed this book. It helped me deal with my own past insecurities as well as provide an exciting romance story. I am encouraging anyone who has been bullied or knows of anyone close to them who has been bullied to read this book. The romance is going to sweep you off of your feet. It is the real deal. Five Stars.

[Peng · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the first time I've written a review for a book. And I really tried to keep it short. :)
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First of all, Kudos to Ms. Suzie Carr for writing this novel. It may not move everyone's heart but it definitely moved mine. :)
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I felt really sad while I was reading the dark moments of the heroine...
It's because I know how it feels to be disheartened due to a fact that a person cannot even accept his/her own words he/she have used to enlighten others. It's like contradicting your identity or telling a lie because you yourself cannot follow your own advises... Yet it felt real. Because that is what really happens in real life.. And YES..it is possible to get out of such situations..A person can always be redeemed from such tragedies..
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If I were a critique I might say many things about how the novel was written... I've read some bad reviews..but there are also really great reviews about the book.. What's important to me is how the book touched me..I don't really care about the technicality sheez...
Who am I to judge??? I know very little about writing and all..that's why I chose a math-dominated college course..blah blah blah...!
-- What's important for me.. if after I read a book and I felt happy, then that's a great one for me. :D
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Moving on..the book deserve's a 4 star rating. XD Not Perfect..but almost..
"Imperfect Beauty" I suppose... :)

[Serith · Rating 5 out of 5]

...Anyone else get massive cravings for cheesecake after reading this?

(^ this is definitely not the most insightful take away from this book -especially given the context- but I'll leave that for the respectable reviewers out there)

[We Said It: Literary Reviews w/ Ts Blogging · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve always wondered how the bullied kids turned out as adults; if they carried along the infliction's, teasing, hitting, and name calling into their adult lives. Or did they take the hurt and rejection as a child and allowed it to fuel them into becoming the person they secretly wished they were. I’m sure many people have witnessed or perhaps been the victim of bullying, or maybe you were the bully. Whichever role you’ve played, Suzie Carr’s The Muse answered my dying question by allowing me to take a glimpse into the life of a woman that desires to be set free from her past and her hidden sexuality.

While the store is not entirely about bullying, readers will be able to wrap their selves into a Cat Fished tail of Jane Knoll, a woman that lives in her toxic mind and wars with the past as well as the current state of her boring life. This deja’vu tale is so familiar as if I too had experienced Jane’s hidden secrets. I found myself speaking to the pages as I tried to counsel and scream at Jane to, “Get over it already!” I was so frustrated with her constant complaining that I felt like I was talking to a friend that was addicted to the feelings connected to her past. On the other hand, it was the emotional connection, the information, the life lessons, and the hope that Jane would find healing that made me want to read more.

Does Jane find love? Will she stop playing the victim and downplaying herself? Will she become the girl that “…could stir a person’s soul with her words, touching people with viewpoints that changed the world” or will she be the same person she has always been? Suzie Carr, The Muse is such a needed/MUST Read! It gives people insight on the world that has a coiled voice and I thank you, Suzie Carr, for the romance, the steamy and mental sexual encounters, and such a great read.

Well done!

Happy reading!
T’s Blogging

[Tammy K. · Rating 4 out of 5]

First things first, I won a free copy of this book from the goodreads website drawing/contest. While I was not required to write a review, or rate this story, I simply enjoyed this romantic, comedy, coming of age tale too much not to say "Hey this was a fun, sweet read."
Let me ask you a question, Did you like the book Bridget Jones's Diary? If you said yes, than this story will likely be for you. It has the same kind of shed-a-tear emotionally moving scenes, splashed some laugh out loud moments, throw in some cheesy lines, and finish with a sappy ending. And for me.. it was enjoyable. :D
We are introduced to Jane in her current life, reviewing some of her bumpy (at times quite sad) past, finally into her much delayed entrance into the world of romance, and witness as Jane learns how to move past old hurts and into a bright new future.
I found the read to be full of emotions (at times angsty) and that pulled me into the plight of Jane and BFF/neighbor Larry as they explore the world of dating in their search for Ms/Mr right.
As the story concluded I found myself smiling, crying and laughing at these characters.
I recommend this story to readers who enjoy emotional romantic stories.

[Jenifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am not one to write reviews, because I usually don't know what to say besides the fact that I really enjoyed the book. Why I loved this book is because in many ways I could connect to the main character. It was nice to read a book that actually shows that not everyone is a completely different person once they go off to college. You don't graduate high school and all of a sudden shed all of those insecurities once you step foot onto campus, those things that haunt you don't always stop taunting you once you turn another year older, nor does everyone become loud and proud, then is able to find dates in a nanosecond.

It was refreshing to read a story that a woman may not have been with someone, not because she is too strange, but because it is not always easy to put yourself out there. Also, that some of us find it difficult to shed our pasts. I could go on and on about how eerily similar to Jane and I are, but I will not bore anyone anymore if you are reading this hehehe. But the only difference is that I am still trying to find my Eva :).

[Nolly Frances Sepulveda · Rating 4 out of 5]

This story took me down memory lane, to the troubles and struggles of my own youth,(both as a bully and the bullied) growing up hispanic in a not so middle class family with a history of domestic abuse. Remembering how as a young child I lashed out at other children who were different and my own teenage years in High School when Teachers actually reprimanded me (eventhough I was the target)for disrupting the class, how they turned away and pretended not to see. This all came back to me with this story and made me think hard about how I let it all affect me in a similar way to Jane, how my confidence in my-self in all aspects of my life, was and in many ways still is a bit negative. I applaud Jane for facing her fears and speaking out about her experiance. For those of us who have Bullied and been Bullied, I recommend this book in a theraputic kind of way, for those of you who have not experienced either, I recommend this book as an excellent read.

[Alexandra · Rating 5 out of 5]

**I won this as a free book on goodreads**

I LOVED this book. I finished it in one day. The book is about 29 yr old Jane who has a very low sense of self due to her bullying in school, which has stuck with her most of her adult life and finds her self crushing on a beautiful girl, Eva, who she feels is completely out of her league. Via social media she creates a fake Jane who she thinks will win the heart of this supposedly unattainable woman. It does, as the two connect via twitter she realizes she will eventually have to either cut the romance off or show Eva who she really is. I loved all of the characters and could relate to so many aspects of this book. It was sexy and well written and also heart breaking at times.

[Lori · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book began having some very profound and redeeming qualities midway through. Hence, I'm so glad that I stuck with it, after all.

[Ashley · Rating 1 out of 5]

The main character/ narrator of this book has such serious mental illness and I was shocked that at no point in the book did she seek any sort of counseling or therapy. Now, I understand fiction is not the same as real life so it can take certain liberties but like.... the whole book is just the main character lying to her love interest because she has such a traumatic past that she can't be herself..... and instead of coming clean and starting over, the love interest immediately forgives her and they get together like...... SHE LIED FOR THE ENTIRETY OF THE RELATIONSHIP.... SHE NEVER TOLD THE LOVE INTEREST ANYTHING REAL ABOUT HERSELF...... how can you be in love with someone you know nothing about?
furthermore, she has literally several mental breakdowns which are not really addressed and are just moved past as if that's normal...... like, hurting herself, severe depression type breakdowns.... even the best friend, they had arguments where they said really hurtful things to each other and then just continued like it was no big deal.....
anyway maybe this book will be enjoyable for people who have no experience with mental illness and thus have no issue seeing it so incorrectly represented, but i couldn't handle the cavalier way they addressed all the problems..

[David Ward · Rating 5 out of 5]

Suzie Carr is my 'go-to' author when I want to be uplifted. And I sure needed some romantic joy in my life having read two or three crime novels previously.
I got what I needed big time in The Muse..
The main character, Carefree Janie, has a back story that is so engaging. She needs redemption in her life and Eva is most clearly the one to provide that. But Eva seems unattainable, except through Twitter and emails. And Carefree-Janie's lack of self confidence holds back the dream ending until - okay, you find out for yourself by reading it. I won't spoil it for you.
The messages that flow from Jane to Eva are cute. They're also sad, as they reach out to someone who is little more than a fantasy in Jane's life.
I was fortunate enough to read this at a time when my own life is changing for the better. So I put this book down feeling affirmed, stronger and extremely happy.
Oh and do love the character Larry. He's great.
I'll be going back to this book. It's one to re-read.

[Reneetc · Rating 3 out of 5]

Bullying is our modern day Hydra, and Carr authentically reveals this social ill with great compassion. My eyes teared multiple times while reading. The story's strengths and sense of urgency lie with Jane. Through her narrative, Jane reveals the ugly truths about the long-term effects of bullying. Her personal growth motivates me to become a champion supporter of the Janes, Travises, and Rhondas of the world.

As a romance, this story was okay. There wasn't enough relationship build up for the romance to feel real; therefore, the ending felt rushed. I would have liked more dialogue between Jane and Eva to gain additional insight into Eva's character. 

[Charlie Conwell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant

To be on top of the world with the popular crowd and then to have your world flipped. Jane is a woman who regrets past actions. Lives in a shy bubble trying to make a life but afraid to do so. Jane is so endearing and you want her to come out of her shell. She opens a new world from the comfort of social media. A butterfly that takes flight more than what she would ever do in real life. This story has the essence of overcoming fear and getting a life we all dream of. To find a place in the world to belong. I loved this book and would recommend it

[Julie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was recommended to me as a 'must read' so I am a tad disappointed if I am honest. Whilst it must be commended for dealing with some dark issues such as bullying, low self esteem and self hatred, loneliness and how the effects can last into adulthood, I found the pace of the book and the actual storytelling dragged. This book did not really engage me and I did have to push myself to finish it. Investing in a book both financially and emotionally is a big deal, and on this occasion I didn't get enough of a return.

[Shelby · Rating 5 out of 5]

So much pain and so much love, ends in a glorious way!

This book reached out and grabbed my younger self, shaking her and pointing at the similar circumstances, letting her know that she is going to be fine. This author either has done her research, or has experienced in some way the long-reaching after effects of being bullied. Thank you, Suzie Carr.

[Susan Young · Rating 5 out of 5]

Let the Bullies Beware

I thoroughly enjoyed this book. I had been bullied as a child due to being fat and wore glasses. Not bullied to excess but enough for it to hurt. This book brought to light how a person can suffer for years. Should be required reading g. The subject was handled with respect as Parr of a larger story.

[Marty Preslar · Rating 5 out of 5]

Profound and important

This story about the lasting impact of bullying is an important, well written, and profoundly emotional tale. The fact that it deals with both sides of the bullying equation makes it even more special.

[F. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Bullying and mental health are not easy topics as a foundation for romance. Setting up such a difficult and serious problem and then presenting such a simple solution is problematic for me. The main character who narrates the story needs professional help more than love.

[Kat · Rating 5 out of 5]

Honestly, I have no words!!!! Absolutely moving book, where 2 people overcome childhood tragic experiences to become stronger and better. This book was hard to put down.

[charles clayson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a emotionally gripping story ! With some revealing information about a plague that is over running our whole world 🌎. Thank you for your courage and compassion.

[Herbie · Rating 1 out of 5]

The anti-bulling message of the book is good. However, there was so much internalization and so little action, I was bored out of my mind. I kept jumping forward a paragraph or two every time the main character started thinking, because it would go on and on.

[Fox · Rating 1 out of 5]

Ridiculously long and repetitive - this could have made a decent YA short story - but there is not enough here for a novel.
Yes, bullying is wrong but we don't need to be beaten over the head with this. So many cliches - gay men who call women "darling", gorgeous lesbians on motorcycles, a good hair cut and a mani/pedi and suddenly Plain Jane is transformed... Ugh

[Darla Baker · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jane Knoll is a familiar and heartbreaking character. Too many people allow that awkward twelve-year-old to dominate their adult lives and personalities. This story shines a beacon of hope into the hearts of all twelve-year-olds living inside so many broken and damaged adults. Thank you, Suzie, for sharing this story with us.

[Whitney · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a quick read, but it was painful at times. The main character is so painfully shy and has no self-esteem. She had so many issues and it got repetitive after a while. I just wanted her to put her big girl pants on and move on!