Лице под фереджето

by Marianne Alireza, Ваня Пенева (Translator)

След „Една арабска принцеса разказва“ - нови факти за порядките и живота на жената в Саудитска Арабия. Историята на една любов, един брак и едно разочарование в сянката на фереджето.

Има страни по света, където личните самолети са сякаш природна даденост, а диамантите - част от ежедневието. Има хора в света, които с парите си правят райски градини сред пустинята, украсяват дворците си с розови пъпки от Холандия и ядат прясно месо от Латинска Америка. Страната е Саудитска Арабия, а хората - нейните шейхове.
Но сред тези несметни богатства владеят средновековни порядки и животът е подчинен изцяло на най-суровия закон - Корана. Светкавичното забогатяване на Саудитска Арабия след откриването на петрола не е цивилизовало ни най-малко ислямските нрави.

Свидетел на това кратко, но бурно развитие е американката Мариан, омъжила се в края на войната за братовчед на саудитския крал и изместена след няколко години от втората му жена. Ала сред цялата жестокост в тази страна тя открива и много топлина, човечност и доброта в сърцата на нейната унизена и незачитана половина - сърцата на нейните жени.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Biography, Middle East, History, Islam, Travel

256 pages, Mass Market Paperback

First published January 1, 1971

Reviews

[Catherine Adde · Rating 4 out of 5]

At the Drop of a Veil by Marianne Alireza
The True Story of A California Girl's Years In An Arabian Hareem

Marianne Alireza was my guest speaker at a ‘Women in Travel’ organization in the 1980’s. She was fascinating, and we were on the edge of our seats by the end of her talk.
Years later I was fortunate enough to meet her again and plan her travel. She signed her memoir for me and I am delighted to see that a copy is in our library.

While attending college in the 1940’s the American Marianne meets and falls in love with Ali Alireza, a prominent Saudi citizen. They marry, and move to Saudi Arabia with their infant daughter, joining his extended family in one large household. This memoir is colorful, lengthy, written lovingly, and gives us a glimpse into an alien culture to ours; it describes the hardships of the post-war era as well. Mrs. Alireza regales us with tales of Saudi Princes and Sheiks, what it is like to wear the veil and be confined to one’s home, camping
trips in the desert with carpets and camels, being entertained by Bedouin tribal people. She shares her heart with us: the frustrations as well as joys of accepting different customs, food, language and climate. Her descriptions of gold and luxuries are juxtaposed
with lack of air conditioning and flies.
I applaud her for being able to adapt and raise her children according Arabian customs and was sad when her marriage ended. Her story leads up to a hair raising secret trip across the Swiss Alps for the possibility of a reunion with her children and I applaud her again, this time for bravery. I’ll say no more except do check it out in the non -fiction section. Enjoy!

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fascinating detailed account of a California woman who marries a Saudi and moves to Saudi Arabia. She is very fortunate to marry into a loving family. My only complaint is that the book is too short! There is a surprising twist in the last chapter and it ends abruptly, it seems. I had to do a little online research to find out what happened after the end of the book. The author's humor and descriptive writing style made this book a joy to read.

[Abdullah · Rating 3 out of 5]

Surprisingly, it’s a good book despite the fact that it was written over 40 years ago. It tells the story of Marianne Alireza, an American university student who married a Saudi citizen in 1943. In 1945, Marianne moved to Jeddah with her husband and infant daughter, and from there she witnessed the obsolete Arabian lifestyle firsthand for 12 years. She describes her experiences as part of the Alireza harem, consisting of her mother-in-law, 2 sisters-in-law and their various children, of whom Marianne herself had five. Alireza discusses how they travelled very frequently – to cite an example – she mentions the family travel to the mountains of Ethiopia to escape the summer heat in Jeddah, and how the dawdling development changed all of their lives. She also alludes to the events that led to the end of her marriage, and how she abducted her children from their school in Switzerland. The details of this book make it invaluable for anyone wanting to learn about living conditions for women in affluent Saudi Arabia in the 1940s and 50s. Interestingly, a quick Web search for Marianne's children turned up a traveler's note stating that all 5 of her children decided to return to Saudi Arabia upon reaching adulthood.

[Helen Pugsley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow.
Okay, honestly I picked this up because I have a lot of friends in India. Post WW2 Saudi Arabia is very different from modern India but that's a thing I know now!
I had my breath taken away! Anymore only the best books keep my attention. And I read nearly every word of this one. Living in Saudi Arabia is now something I know I couldn't do. (Or at least wouldn't be happy doing.)
It was beautiful how Marianne got waaay out of her element but wound up with a new family. I think that's sweet. And I love that even after the divorce they loved her unconditionally. The love made it beautiful. (Oof. I'm going to shed a single man-tear.)
It's crazy how well travelled she got to be! And I feel like I learned a lot reading her story. Thoroughly enjoyed it. I recommend it. She definitely glossed over a LOT of things, but I mean, look at the time it was written. Also, it's dedicated to everyone who calls her Oomie. So this was more for her family, and thus, I understand. She doesn't fail to bring out the best characteristics in the people she writes about. I even wound up liking Ali most of the time.

[Kris · Rating 3 out of 5]

Imagine an old school "Not without my daughter"... an American woman Marianne marries a Saudi Arabian, integrates herself into their country, family and culture, and is divorced by the pronouncement of "I divorce you".
Published in the 70's about her life in Saudi in the 40's, the language is slightly dated, but as the bulk of the story is about her adjustment and transition, rather than fighting for her children, it makes a fascinating read.

[Danii · Rating 3 out of 5]

Reading this book felt as if I were sitting at the feet of a sweet, funny and wise older lady listening to her tell the story of her fascinating life. I admire her apparent total lack of bitterness especially considering the many trials she underwent in her life. This is one woman I would love to meet one day!

[Savage Mind · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good description of what life in Saudi Arabia was like for a woman, seen through Western eyes. Many details about their every day activities and relationships between women. However the writer, probably out of discretion, refrain from describing how he relationship with her husband was (emotionally) and how it altered after moving to Saudi Arabia.

[Rhonda Keith · Rating 4 out of 5]

Spoiler alert (but what do you expect from a story like this)?

Marianne Alireza wrote in detail about her marriage in the 1940s to a Saudi national, a high-ranking man in the government whom she met at college. She adapted as best as she could to living in the family harem, the women's quarters, where women were wholly confined. It's always a puzzlement why a Western woman would subject herself to this sort of imprisonment. She did't speak Arabic and learned it word by word. She recalled with pleasure the instances where she could go out into the garden, into the desert, into a shop, and abroad, but she also appreciated the women she lived with. She had five children in about ten years. Her husband was often absent with work and with his back surgery and therapy. When he was admitted to a hospital in New York, someone called Marianne to go to New York immediately. When she got there, he presented her with a Muslim divorce ("I divorce you" -- repeat three times). He had another woman, and presumably recognized that Marianne would not tolerate polygamy. In that society a woman may not have custody of any children over seven, and her husband wanted to take the children out of Swiss boarding schools and move them to Saudi or Egyptian schools. Marianne had friends, even among her husband's family, and they helped her get new passports and spirit the children away. Except for her oldest daughter. Only a sentence or two informs the reader that the daughter had married her Saudi cousin. A telling reticence.

[Holly S. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Originally published in 1973, this is the story of an American college student who marries a Saudi man in 1943 and lives in Saudi Arabia for twelve years. With wit and insight, Marianne describes her adventures and life within the Alireza household, giving a captivating glimpse into affluent Saudi society in the 1940s and 50s. Despite the dramatic end to her marriage, Marianne tells her story with warmth and humor.

[Josephine · Rating 5 out of 5]

While the basics of the other reviews are correct--this is the autobiography of an American woman who married a Saudi Arabian, and moved there to Jeddah in 1945--keep in mind that At the Drop Of A Veil is an antithesis to Not Without My Daughter. It took place 30 years earlier. It took place in another country. But most importantly, the author went to [insert country here] intending to remain in [insert country here] and indeed do her best to integrate herself in [insert country here]...not to mention that her in-laws in [insert country here] welcomed her with open arms, expecting to incorporate her into their family.

In the end, not surprisingly, [husband] divorces her, at a distance, with a few rote words, and she arranges her resources to return home with her four younger children.

A telling difference between the two books is that here, Marianne's in-laws not only acknowledged her reasons for fleeing their country with her kids, but did their best to assist her. For example, her mother-in-law came to her hidey-safe place to express an understanding affection and wish them Allah-speed on their way home.

Ultimately this is a quick read that skims over the surface of a great deal of subtext...but an experience that can't really be replicated these days. Coming back to it after a couple of decades myself, I'd have liked to see a great deal more political backstory, though I'll be the first to admit that the author herself isn't necessarily the person to tell it. She was a housewife, not a cultural exchange diplomat, and keeping that in mind, she does a decent job of capturing life then and there.

[Kimberly Ann · Rating 4 out of 5]

At the Drop of a Veil, Marianne Alireza


This has been on my TBR for at least 10 years... probably more...

The book spans the years of 1943-1957/58 and was written in 1971

Marianne meets Alireza in college and they marry..... Not knowing that he would be called into service of Prince Faisal & the King of Saudi Arabia. Thus begins the story of Marianne as she becomes a member of the Harem that is the center of the Alireza family.

Marianne is welcomed into the family & everyone works to help her adjust. Because she is the (well known) American wife of so high-ranking Arabian family she has many advantages that other women have not: she attends parties where men gather; at times she allowed to go without her veil; she is also allowed to travel the world w/ her husband & attend many diplomatic events.

Life in Arabia was difficult in the 50's and up until the oil boom, their life of luxury was still one which we would consider harsh. Multi-family & generation home, lack of running water & modern bathrooms, and abundance of flies, windows w/out glass, a kitchen w/out modern appliances (sinks, stoves, ovens). Her voice is positive throughout most of the book; she did her best to fit in & did so admirably and she worked to make life easier not just for herself, but for the other women in the family as well.

It was very interesting to read & learn about life in Saudi Arabia and I found the book to be well written and compelling.

[Gregg Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

How many Western women get married to a man from the Mideast? How many do this without knowing about Islam or the Quran? Marianne Alireza wrote in detail about her marriage in the 1940s to a Saudi national, a high-ranking man in the government whom she met at college. She adapted as best as she could to living in the family harem, the women's quarters, where women were wholly confined. It's always a puzzlement why a Western woman would subject herself to this sort of imprisonment.

Her time in KSA was at a time of development (Mid 20th Century). There was no modern shopping, etc. Fortunately she married the right man, a good man and with a good family. However Ms Marianne was lucky in my opinion. Thousands of other Western Women did the same thing and ended up with horrible results. One book, "Not without my daughter" showed that not all Western women end up with good husbands and end up in Iran, etc and have no way out. There are about 8 others books written by Western women who married a very handsome man from the Mideast and thought they had the best "catch" only find themselves "caught" in something they could not escape.

[Gpritchard · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an interesting book because the writer married into a prominent Saudi family in the 40s and moved to Saudi Arabia and assimilated and acclimated to a Muslim lifestyle (although she never converted). The book was published in 1970, so it would have really been eye-opening at the time.

I did think there were huge "gaps," that appeared to be for discretion. For instance, the husband was gone so much and provided little "buffer" as she learned to adapt. We learn very little about their relationship after she moves to Saudi. She has 5 children with him, yet after 12 years, he divorces her without explanation.

Overall, it was interesting but a little dry and passionless/emotionless.

[Trisha Owens · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is the true account of Marianne Alireza, a woman who while studying at an American University meets the Saudi man that she will marry. Together they move to Saudi Arabia in 1943, and then for 12 years Marianne learns how to live as a Muslim, also she never became one. She has to wear the traditional garb, veil, and cloak and doesn't even know the language. Meanwhile, her husband is gone for much of the time on business or in the hospital with medical concerns. Marianne has 4 children while there and this book describes the lifestyle of the Saudi women in particular. Although written in 1971, the confines of women there in Saudi Arabia seem to have changed little. The end of the book was a surprise, but considering what she lived through, I was glad for the outcome.

[LibraryCin · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

In the mid-1940s, an American woman, Marianne, married a rich Arabic man. When she moved to Saudi Arabia with him, she was thrown into a culture so far removed from what she was used to. Not only that, her husband was away often and she had to find her way with the help of his family as she also struggled to learn the language, customs, etc.

I thought this was quite interesting. Despite the difficulties, you can see how much she loved her husband’s family. A little too quickly wrapped up, I thought, though. I would have liked to know more about what happened to everyone after the book ended (it was published in 1971, so more could have been said).

[Kay Campbell · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is probably the best memoir of an American woman who has lived in Saudi Arabia. Marianne Alireza married a Saudi, moved to the Kingdom in the 1940s, home-schooled her kids, became good friends with the Queen, Queen Effat Al Thunayan, and had many interesting experiences, good and bad. I can't recommend this book enough - as it captures what life was like for her family, and the Kingdom at such an interesting time. Five Stars Plus!

[Stefanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

What it's like to be an American married to a Saudi and living in Saudi Arabia in the 1950s (before oil). Very interesting and detailed story of life as part of one of Saudi Arabia's prominent families.

[Julia · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is an autobiography of a woman who was one of the first Americans to marry a Saudi. They ended up moving back to Saudi Arabia and she lived there for several years with his family, and had children of her own. It is very interesting to learn more about this culture.

[Jocelyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really like this book. It was very nice to read another story from an Arab country that counteracted the the last one I read (Honor to the Bride). The narrator's life seemed very fun and I loved reading about everything she got to experience.

[Robin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Enjoyed this a whole lot more than I had though I would. I'd certainly have picked it up sooner had I'd known.
***

This has been around for a while, but recommended by several different folks over the years. It was passed to me today by a member of my French conversation group.

[Rachel]

WOW! Read, read, read!

[R Ann · Rating 5 out of 5]

An interesting and engaging story!

[Anne]

N.B. See National Geographic from October, 1987. The author’s reminiscence of her life as the wife of a Saudi husband.

[Kiki · Rating 5 out of 5]

An engaging and well-written look at the life of an American woman who married a Saudi, moving into that country and culture in the mid-20th century.

[Stephanie · Rating 2 out of 5]

A fascinating subject but confusingly written.

[Dawn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book in my late teens and I'll never forget it. It is a world away from my experiences and quite an eye opener.

[Lfirish · Rating 2 out of 5]

Fascinating tale of one woman's immersion into, and blind acceptance of, Saudi Arabian culture in the 40s and 50s. Adventuresome?--yes... especially revelatory? -- not really.

[Greta · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this book. It is easy reading and fascinating glimpse into a woman’s life in Saudi Arabia. I would highly recommend this book if you want to understand more about Muslim culture.

[Spiegols · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fascinating read of an American woman who married a Saudi in the '40s and the ensuing years of having children and living in a Muslim country. Although the writer was upbeat and gracious, life in the Middle East surely did not exhibit the democracy and freedom that is enjoyed in the West.

[Lauren · Rating 2 out of 5]

It was fascinating but disappointing. She discussed her day to day life at length, with vivid descriptions of clothing, customs and food, but she left a lot of things out. Would have been a great book in the hands of a good writer. A superficial read.