This was alright for such a short story. A few questions/comments I have though:
1. Why at 24/25 was Lola still living with her father?
2. When she's talking to her mother, about her mother and her father talking to each other, she says that it's none of her business. ? How is that? They're both her parents still, both involved in her life. How would that not concern her, hence be a part of her business?
3. Why did Lola make a big deal about staying at Marcus's house during the storm? It's like she asks if he wants to go to NY with her, he says no and she's ready to leave? The corny thing is that Marcus knows she doesn't want to stay and thinks it could be because he smells? Really? That just seemed like a really stupid reason, like that would have been the last thing on his mind. They are basically strangers here.
4. So Marcus shows Lola to her room and somehow the fire in the fireplace is already going. How is that possible? The housekeeper is gone and it's not like he knew Lola would be coming and staying the night. I can't imagine he naturally keeps all the fires going throughout his mansion.
5. Lastly a few words: Pleasure core....Pleasure cleft...Pleasure button and Pleasure slit... ? Really? haha That was the best the author could come up with?
All in all, it was a cute. Didn't really make me want to read the next in the series though. The writing seemed to me, like the author is just starting out, like they haven't been writing very long.