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Pulling Me Under #1
Pulling Me Under
Paul was Katie’s rock for thirteen years, but then she watched him die.
By day, she is left with her daughter Ella’s questions about where Daddy went, and at night she's consumed with nightmares of the moment he died. It isn’t long before Katie’s mother hints that her volatile lifestyle and developing drinking habits are no way to raise a little girl.
Through it all, her and Paul’s best friend, Liam is there. Grieving the death of both husband and friend, the time they spend together seems more intimate these days, and Katie soon stumbles into taboo territory: Liam might be in love with her.
Torn between Liam’s feelings and losing Ella, one night Katie runs.
Air. Space. Thinking time. That's what she thinks she's getting when she stumbles upon that party. In the morning, in a strange bed, she can’t remember the night before.
Pulling Me Under is raw in its brutality of love and pain, with slow-building suspense to a heart-stopping conclusion.
By day, she is left with her daughter Ella’s questions about where Daddy went, and at night she's consumed with nightmares of the moment he died. It isn’t long before Katie’s mother hints that her volatile lifestyle and developing drinking habits are no way to raise a little girl.
Through it all, her and Paul’s best friend, Liam is there. Grieving the death of both husband and friend, the time they spend together seems more intimate these days, and Katie soon stumbles into taboo territory: Liam might be in love with her.
Torn between Liam’s feelings and losing Ella, one night Katie runs.
Air. Space. Thinking time. That's what she thinks she's getting when she stumbles upon that party. In the morning, in a strange bed, she can’t remember the night before.
Pulling Me Under is raw in its brutality of love and pain, with slow-building suspense to a heart-stopping conclusion.
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First published January 1, 2013
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1314 people want to read
About the author
Rebecca Berto
13 books1,018 followersgraphic designer, hobby photographer, crazy cat (and dog) lady, tea snob.
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Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews
October 4, 2013
OMG! Am shaking! Such an amazing, heart wrenching and inspirational story! Full review to come when I can strong together a coherent sentence! 6 stars!
Edit - full review
I received an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Wow is the only way in which I can describe this book. I've found it so difficult to write my thoughts down about how much I loved and connected to this novel because it is such a personal, emotional and heartwrenching story that any words I say won't do it justice. The only thing I can actually say without giving anything away is that; you must read this book the moment it is released.
Author Rebecca Berto so cleverly gives us an insight into Katherine 'Kates' mind as she struggles through life after the death of her husband Paul, a death that she witnessed and feels responsible for. All too often books seem to skip past the nitty gritty, dark and painful times that people have to live through after the death of a loved one. Therefore I was overjoyed to follow the dark, compelling and psychological journey of Kates' recovery, seeing first hand how the loss of her husband affects her relationships with her parents, best friend and most importantly her daughter.
Usually the romantic in me dominates my love for fiction, and the romance of a story is that which I connect to the most, but Rebecca Berto's incredible storytelling in this book just drew me in and had me so invested in Kates' relationship with her daughter Ella that I can't tell you the number of times I was in tears as Kates struggled to recover from the trauma of her husband's death in order to be the mother she wanted to be for her child.
Seeing every stage of Kates' grief and how she first spirals into a dark psychological state and then gradually starts ti accept help had me so engrossed, and I had to stop reading for minutes at a time to take deep breaths, still my racing mind and remind myself that this wasn't my life and it wasn't me going through this trauma. The writing was just so extroadinary that I felt I was living the story as it happened. I could not read this book without completely immersing myself in it, and caring for the characters so much that I viewed them as close friends rather than fictional individuals on paper.
This book was truly stunning, a real masterpiece and a brilliant example of a realistic, dark gritty new adult book whose story will consume you. The timing was perfectly done and the contrast between the confused and distorted thought processes of the deeply grieving Kates and the slowly healing, loving Kates was spectacularly done.
6 stars and on my list of favourite books of all time.
Edit - full review
I received an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Wow is the only way in which I can describe this book. I've found it so difficult to write my thoughts down about how much I loved and connected to this novel because it is such a personal, emotional and heartwrenching story that any words I say won't do it justice. The only thing I can actually say without giving anything away is that; you must read this book the moment it is released.
Author Rebecca Berto so cleverly gives us an insight into Katherine 'Kates' mind as she struggles through life after the death of her husband Paul, a death that she witnessed and feels responsible for. All too often books seem to skip past the nitty gritty, dark and painful times that people have to live through after the death of a loved one. Therefore I was overjoyed to follow the dark, compelling and psychological journey of Kates' recovery, seeing first hand how the loss of her husband affects her relationships with her parents, best friend and most importantly her daughter.
Usually the romantic in me dominates my love for fiction, and the romance of a story is that which I connect to the most, but Rebecca Berto's incredible storytelling in this book just drew me in and had me so invested in Kates' relationship with her daughter Ella that I can't tell you the number of times I was in tears as Kates struggled to recover from the trauma of her husband's death in order to be the mother she wanted to be for her child.
Seeing every stage of Kates' grief and how she first spirals into a dark psychological state and then gradually starts ti accept help had me so engrossed, and I had to stop reading for minutes at a time to take deep breaths, still my racing mind and remind myself that this wasn't my life and it wasn't me going through this trauma. The writing was just so extroadinary that I felt I was living the story as it happened. I could not read this book without completely immersing myself in it, and caring for the characters so much that I viewed them as close friends rather than fictional individuals on paper.
This book was truly stunning, a real masterpiece and a brilliant example of a realistic, dark gritty new adult book whose story will consume you. The timing was perfectly done and the contrast between the confused and distorted thought processes of the deeply grieving Kates and the slowly healing, loving Kates was spectacularly done.
6 stars and on my list of favourite books of all time.
September 12, 2014
I have had to give this 5 stars.
Just study this amazing cover, water pulls you in, life sucks you out.
Mothers, daughters, emotive past issues and the author has you in the palm of her hands.
I previously sat and read the prequel to this, Precise. After reading that one I just couldn't wait to read this follow on.
This author is a fantastic story teller. I've not read such a book written in such a way. I don't want to further the storyline more than what the blurb already tells you, let me just say though, the reader will be drawn into it. I was quite shocked and moved in some places throughout this book. It all tied in nicely.
Was it n out of body experience? I ask the author. There was a good section in there that kept me from sleeping tonight and I just had to finish it!
Thank you for the hours of pleasure this has given to me.
I was gifted this book as an ARC for an honest review with no pressure of giving 5 stars, my 5 stars are quite limited this book deserves it, so does the author.
Just study this amazing cover, water pulls you in, life sucks you out.
Mothers, daughters, emotive past issues and the author has you in the palm of her hands.
I previously sat and read the prequel to this, Precise. After reading that one I just couldn't wait to read this follow on.
This author is a fantastic story teller. I've not read such a book written in such a way. I don't want to further the storyline more than what the blurb already tells you, let me just say though, the reader will be drawn into it. I was quite shocked and moved in some places throughout this book. It all tied in nicely.
Was it n out of body experience? I ask the author. There was a good section in there that kept me from sleeping tonight and I just had to finish it!
Thank you for the hours of pleasure this has given to me.
I was gifted this book as an ARC for an honest review with no pressure of giving 5 stars, my 5 stars are quite limited this book deserves it, so does the author.
November 3, 2013
Awful. Sorry....wish I would have loved it but could not connect in any way to main character. Didn't love or hate her. Just didn't care. Ugh!
October 1, 2013
**ARC**
This story was a tough story for me to get through. It took us through Kates life as she was dealing with the loss of her husband Paul, who she felt as if she murdered. She wasted away daily on Johnny Walker and sleeping pills. The only thing that seemed to bring her out of her buzz was her daughter Ella.
This book is a continuation of Precise where we meet Kates and her husband Paul, Liam who is their best friend, and Kates mom Rochelle, who is nothing but a controlling, vindictive woman that treats Kates like she is the scum on the bottom of her shoe.
In Pulling Me Under, Rochelle is still controlling but not as bad as she was in the first book. Kates feels as if her mom is trying everything she can to take Ella away from her so that she can tell Kates she is a bad mother. No matter what Kates does though, she cannot seem to make the nightmares of that fatal day go away. So she has turned to drinking and taking pills to get the images and smell out of her head.
Rochelle is having a birthday party and while there she confronts her daughter about her actions and what it is doing not only to her but to Ella as well. Kate winds up running out the door, which is what she has turned to in her life (running away). She winds up at a party that Liam’s older brother Brent is at, and stays with him and his friends. While there she blacks out and wakes up in an unknown bed and the events of the night before are all a haze.
When Liam confronts her about her issues and tells her about his feelings he has had for her, she tries running again. Liam is not having this at all. He helps her deal with the trauma of losing Paul and she finally starts to remember things that happened that night at the party.
When confronting the man who she believes hurt her that night, she is shocked and surprised with who the real person behind that fuzzy night is. Will she ever be able to surface to the top and trust anyone in her life again or will everyday events keep pulling her under, suffocating her until there is no more?
This story was a tough story for me to get through. It took us through Kates life as she was dealing with the loss of her husband Paul, who she felt as if she murdered. She wasted away daily on Johnny Walker and sleeping pills. The only thing that seemed to bring her out of her buzz was her daughter Ella.
This book is a continuation of Precise where we meet Kates and her husband Paul, Liam who is their best friend, and Kates mom Rochelle, who is nothing but a controlling, vindictive woman that treats Kates like she is the scum on the bottom of her shoe.
In Pulling Me Under, Rochelle is still controlling but not as bad as she was in the first book. Kates feels as if her mom is trying everything she can to take Ella away from her so that she can tell Kates she is a bad mother. No matter what Kates does though, she cannot seem to make the nightmares of that fatal day go away. So she has turned to drinking and taking pills to get the images and smell out of her head.
Rochelle is having a birthday party and while there she confronts her daughter about her actions and what it is doing not only to her but to Ella as well. Kate winds up running out the door, which is what she has turned to in her life (running away). She winds up at a party that Liam’s older brother Brent is at, and stays with him and his friends. While there she blacks out and wakes up in an unknown bed and the events of the night before are all a haze.
When Liam confronts her about her issues and tells her about his feelings he has had for her, she tries running again. Liam is not having this at all. He helps her deal with the trauma of losing Paul and she finally starts to remember things that happened that night at the party.
When confronting the man who she believes hurt her that night, she is shocked and surprised with who the real person behind that fuzzy night is. Will she ever be able to surface to the top and trust anyone in her life again or will everyday events keep pulling her under, suffocating her until there is no more?
October 5, 2013
Be prepared for an anguishing emotional experience. Pulling Me Under pulls the reader into the heart and soul of Kate Anselin, a young widow with a six-year-old daughter, who drowns in grief over the death of her husband, a horrible death she witnessed and believes she caused.
In deep stream of consciousness, the reader stumbles through Kates' life, groggy, confused, angry, and at times incoherent, haunted by nightmares, flashbacks and guilt. Kates is failing to deal with her reality and even though her husband's faithful friend, Liam, is there to give her a hand, she is unable to grasp his friendship. Instead, she falls deeper and deeper in to the morass, seemingly unable to pull herself out, or allow anyone close enough to help.
Meanwhile, her mother implies Kates is an unfit mother. She insists on babysitting Ella and questions Kates on everything. Things come to a crisis one night when Kates goes to a party at her parents' house and Mom gives her the third degree about bottles in her trash. She takes off, has too much to drink and ends up back at the wrong party.
Things go bad fast, and in the aftermath, Kates has to face up to her dire situation, or sink further under. Some of the best stream of consciousness I've ever read is in Chapter eleven. Chapter eleven's are oftentimes at the 25% mark, exactly where the protagonist is at the point of no return, unable to go back to whatever state he/she was in, yet not equipped to deal with what's coming ahead. The die is cast, and Kates has to face that her drunkenness has caused something horrible to happen.
I hate to leave you at this point, but what follows is an incredibly inspiring, yet PAINFUL journey as Kates wakes up to the realization that she must go forward and get help, or destroy the lives of all those around her.
You'll root for Kates to overcome her demons and drool over Liam, her faithful friend, while trying to figure out the evil person who hurt Kates when she was at her most vulnerable. A satisfying, suspenseful ending.
In deep stream of consciousness, the reader stumbles through Kates' life, groggy, confused, angry, and at times incoherent, haunted by nightmares, flashbacks and guilt. Kates is failing to deal with her reality and even though her husband's faithful friend, Liam, is there to give her a hand, she is unable to grasp his friendship. Instead, she falls deeper and deeper in to the morass, seemingly unable to pull herself out, or allow anyone close enough to help.
Meanwhile, her mother implies Kates is an unfit mother. She insists on babysitting Ella and questions Kates on everything. Things come to a crisis one night when Kates goes to a party at her parents' house and Mom gives her the third degree about bottles in her trash. She takes off, has too much to drink and ends up back at the wrong party.
Things go bad fast, and in the aftermath, Kates has to face up to her dire situation, or sink further under. Some of the best stream of consciousness I've ever read is in Chapter eleven. Chapter eleven's are oftentimes at the 25% mark, exactly where the protagonist is at the point of no return, unable to go back to whatever state he/she was in, yet not equipped to deal with what's coming ahead. The die is cast, and Kates has to face that her drunkenness has caused something horrible to happen.
I hate to leave you at this point, but what follows is an incredibly inspiring, yet PAINFUL journey as Kates wakes up to the realization that she must go forward and get help, or destroy the lives of all those around her.
You'll root for Kates to overcome her demons and drool over Liam, her faithful friend, while trying to figure out the evil person who hurt Kates when she was at her most vulnerable. A satisfying, suspenseful ending.
November 7, 2013
Pulling Me Under – Rebecca Berto
I honestly don't know how to put into words how I feel, I was shaking whilst reading this book it is breathtakingly beautiful and so well written by Miss Berto.
I loved Rebecca's first book, but PMU knocked this one out of the park, I was completely entranced, I just could not put in down, I did read Precise before hand and loved that too, but my review is for PMU.
Let me first say that the mother in Precise, I would have ripped her head off and shoved it up her butt! OMG what a horrible woman, I was shaking in anger because of her. But she seems to want to make amends I still don't trust her.
Katie's grief over losing Paul, broke my heart, the tears were flowing, she is such a beautiful, strong character, even though she doesn't seem it with some of her actions. Her journey in this book is poignant, I don't know how to describe how much my heart hurt, for Katie and Ella.
This book is not so much of a romance, it is so much more, it is an emotional experience of self discovery and intense feelings.
Rebecca has written a truly intense and heartbreaking story of love, loss and a mother suffering guilt.
I highly recommend this book!
6 Stars
I honestly don't know how to put into words how I feel, I was shaking whilst reading this book it is breathtakingly beautiful and so well written by Miss Berto.
I loved Rebecca's first book, but PMU knocked this one out of the park, I was completely entranced, I just could not put in down, I did read Precise before hand and loved that too, but my review is for PMU.
Let me first say that the mother in Precise, I would have ripped her head off and shoved it up her butt! OMG what a horrible woman, I was shaking in anger because of her. But she seems to want to make amends I still don't trust her.
Katie's grief over losing Paul, broke my heart, the tears were flowing, she is such a beautiful, strong character, even though she doesn't seem it with some of her actions. Her journey in this book is poignant, I don't know how to describe how much my heart hurt, for Katie and Ella.
This book is not so much of a romance, it is so much more, it is an emotional experience of self discovery and intense feelings.
Rebecca has written a truly intense and heartbreaking story of love, loss and a mother suffering guilt.
I highly recommend this book!
6 Stars
October 12, 2013
I received an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
3.5 stars
I didn't enjoy this book as much as I wish I would have. I found Katie pretty annoying and her actions not always understandable. Sure, she lost her husband but damn, she still has a daughter who lost her dad. More than the first 20% of the book were about Katie's grief and how she felt and how she lost her husband and how she drank and didn't really 'care' about her daughter. It made me dislike the book at the beginning even though it got better but I had a hard time continuing to read it. I was tempted to give up on it but I barely do that so I kept reading.
I will post a whole review on my blog. I wish I could tell you that I loved this book but right now, that's not the case.
3.5 stars
I didn't enjoy this book as much as I wish I would have. I found Katie pretty annoying and her actions not always understandable. Sure, she lost her husband but damn, she still has a daughter who lost her dad. More than the first 20% of the book were about Katie's grief and how she felt and how she lost her husband and how she drank and didn't really 'care' about her daughter. It made me dislike the book at the beginning even though it got better but I had a hard time continuing to read it. I was tempted to give up on it but I barely do that so I kept reading.
I will post a whole review on my blog. I wish I could tell you that I loved this book but right now, that's not the case.
November 6, 2013
This definitely is not a book for the faint of heart. I was left speechless after reading Pulling Me Under. There are so many emotions flowing through this book, many times I found myself in search of tissue for my teary eyes and running nose. This book deals with loss, hardships, and love.
I recommend this to anyone looking for a great but emotional read. The writing was fabulous, the story was terrific, and the overall flow was great.
In Pulling Me Under you watch Katie as she struggles to cope with the loss of Paul. This is not an easy task to do but she must find a way to cope because she has Ella to take care of. Ella is just a small child wondering when her daddy is coming home.
Pick up you copy today to learn how Katie and Ella deal with the loss of Paul.
I recommend this to anyone looking for a great but emotional read. The writing was fabulous, the story was terrific, and the overall flow was great.
In Pulling Me Under you watch Katie as she struggles to cope with the loss of Paul. This is not an easy task to do but she must find a way to cope because she has Ella to take care of. Ella is just a small child wondering when her daddy is coming home.
Pick up you copy today to learn how Katie and Ella deal with the loss of Paul.
October 14, 2013
Was given ARC for my review. Review is still in progress but this book was one of the best reads for me this year! Hands down. Pick this up as soon as it's released! Add it to your TBR! I don't care as long as you experience this amazing book as soon as possible!
Want to read
October 31, 2013I like the look of this one - and it's an Aussie Author too! :D But the cover does creep me out a little...
Want to read
September 13, 2014
Ella’s school-dress buttons and collar change color. They’re business-shirt blue and only three buttons are done up because Paul was lifeless, gone, by the time I got to him but Paul’s not really here and maybe Ella is. Maybe I’m not here, either.
I dig my nails into the laminate until I want to scream from the pressure of my bending nails. Okay, so I’m still here.
“What did I do?” Ella’s voice breaks, and it sounds as if she chokes on her last word.
Ella deserves a mother who will pull her into her chest at times like this and cry about how sad they both are. I haven’t cried since before Paul’s death.
At twenty-nine, I shouldn’t be waking up every day to this. I’d once thought widows only existed when people were old. Sure, I still have the brown hair with some type of wave to it, but I’m a shell with rotting insides.
Paul’s bloody body, dotted with partially digested chunks of his breakfast is suddenly in front of me. Then his dead body multiplies, replicating behind me, to my left, right. He is a cage. I am the prisoner. His blood stains the floor red, causing my breath to stagger. My head spins seeing the sickening chunks and lifeless body of the man I would have given my life for.
My daughter’s sobs fade, as if I’m being sucked away into a tunnel. The gray walls churn as if I’m in a kaleidoscope. Fire truck red and kryptonite green color blurs together to a spot in the distance. The end of the house is gone, replaced with a tunnel sucking me out of the kitchen. The choking, sobbing sound across the counter fades further.
Suddenly, the kitchen fades to an image of my closet. Last night, I found Ella there, her fingers skimming along the circle she made of Paul’s ties. For minutes, I stood behind her in the doorway of my closet. It had been the first time in my master bedroom in months.
Ella bopped on her knees, her feet tucked away under her bum. She’d laid out all of her favorite colors. One with Disney’s Tasmanian Devil printed on it, another in Cadbury purple. Ten or more lay around the circle. Her favorite tie had a pink and blue swirl twisting down its length, right in front of her knees.
She stroked each tie once, her voice a steady hum. When she brushed the swirly tie, her hum reached a staccato and stopped. She picked it up in the same manner as she would her favorite doll and stroked it against her chest.
Outside, the Melbourne rain had climaxed from gentle taps on the windows to angry thumps, making me jump.
“Oh, Daddy,” Ella mumbled. “Can I really have it?”
A flash of me from months ago rushed to her side, knowing to fold her legs and prop her in my lap as we sat together. That version of me plucked all her fingers, and Ella chuckled and snorted simultaneously.
Instead? I said, “No. Ella. Out.”
Ella spun around at the same time as a clap of lighting shook the carpet under our feet. She squealed and clamped her arms by her side, her back ramrod straight. “I want the swirly one. M—my doll needs it.”
I held myself up on the doorjamb of the closet, my arm against the wall easily blocking out the bed and the far side of the room where no one had scrubbed out the stain. “No more. You’re not allowed in here. No one is.” My lip shook almost too much to choke out words. “How could you . . . do this? You know how naughty . . . it is to . . . to come here.”
Even I couldn’t go in the master bedroom. Haven’t since what happened until now.
The crumpled sheets can’t be moved. I leave the stains. Everything must remain the same. I don’t straighten my hair anymore, or sleep with a pile of pillows, or wear my comfortable jeans. No one can be in here so nothing will change.
What if Ella found the box under the bed? If she went through it?
Not yet. Maybe not ever. I promised myself that I wouldn’t look under the bed. There’s too much finality in looking through that box.
Shaking my mind back to present-time I think, I know too much.
I hate.
I hate Paul for leaving me to fend against Mom when he knows I can’t do it by myself.
I hate him for being selfish and thinking that I can live without him.
Most of all, I hate me for hating him, since it’s my fault he isn’t here now.
Ella? She wants to know. Something. Will he come back? Does he love her?
My mom used to say things like, “It’s your fault, Katie. You hear me, Katie? You ruined my tummy, Katie.” Then she would come close enough to smell the fear coating my skin. Always, I’d gasp and try to run away. She’d grab me and yank me back by my flimsy wrist. Her voice was low and steady. Low so I wouldn’t get lost in her hysteria; steady so my mind would store this information forever.
“You killed your brothers and sisters. They didn’t make it out of my belly because you jinxed me. You know that, right?”
Now, in this kitchen, Ella smells a lot like that fear.
October 2, 2013
What would you do if one day you came home to find your husband's lifeless body on your bedroom floor?
Four months after Paul's death, Katie finds solace in sleeping pills and Johnny Walker. Soon she is spiraling out of control and losing her grip on reality. She often dreams of the day she found Paul surrounded by his own blood and vomit, but is unaware is she is even awake or sleeping. She even goes as far as to blame herself for killing him. That first week after his death hasn't ended for her, and she feels a constant disconnect. Katie avoids anything that triggers the painful reminder of that day. She refuses to enter the master bedroom where she found Paul, only allowing herself to sleep in the spare bedroom. She has pushed away everyone in her life: her friends, family, and even her six-year-old daughter, Ella. She knows she hasn't been the best mom, but she refuses to let her parents take Ella away from her and puts on a mask that everything is fine.
When Katie's mother, Rochelle, confronts her at a birthday party, Katie finds herself running away from her problems again and ends up at a party for her childhood friend's older brother, Brent. While there, she blacks out and wakes up the next morning in an unfamiliar bed, with her dress torn and an painful ache between her legs, but she is unable to piece together the events of what had happened the night before to lead up to this.
Liam, Brent's brother and Katie's best friend, tries to help Katie confront her issues, but pushes her away even further when he expresses his true feelings for her. Liam refuses to let Katie run off again, and when he explains to her how he has coped with the loss of Paul, she realizes she is not the only one suffering and that her and Liam are not so different after all. Sometimes it is easier to admit you have a problem and seek help when someone close to you is dealing with the same issues.
Katie finally begins to remember bits and pieces of what happened the night of the party, but will she be able to deal with the repercussions of what had happened and seek help or will she continue to spiral further, drowning into the issues that have been plaguing her and continue to push everyone away?
*****
I loved the synopsis for Pulling Me Under, and the storyline drew me in immediately. From the very beginning you could see that Katie has an inner battle with the way she's coping with her husband's death. Rebecca Berto did a great job of depicting how Katie's thought process jumped around and her struggle dealing with every day things in her life, including being a mom. At times I seriously just wanted to slap Katie for how she was behaving and scream at her to put her daughter first, but at the same time I felt for her and thought to myself, if I had been in the same situation I might have turned to the same outlets to deal with the pain as well.
I didn't see the end coming at all. Throughout the book I was trying to guess who was responsible for what happened to Katie at the party. Every time Katie had any recollection of that night, I immediately went with her gut instinct of who might have been, but I was so far off. I like that it kept things suspenseful, even right up to the very end.
There were a few things I didn't like about the book. There were a lot of parts that I felt were over-stretched and dragged on, and I found myself skimming over a few pages. I didn't really feel a connection between Katie and Liam, even after they grew closer. I wanted to so badly, and I knew he was the perfect one for her to lean on and help carry the burden, since they were both struggling, but for me, the feelings between them just weren't there. My biggest bugaboo was that the entire book was written in the first person from Katies's POV. . .EXCEPT part 2. Part 2 was written in the third person, and I just felt like it didn't flow with the rest of the book. I think it might have been better to to go back and forth between Katie and Brent's POV in the first person (but that's just my opinion).
Overall, I did enjoy the book. It was emotional and drew on several heart-wrenching issues that I think a lot of readers can relate to. Kudos to Ms. Berto!
Four months after Paul's death, Katie finds solace in sleeping pills and Johnny Walker. Soon she is spiraling out of control and losing her grip on reality. She often dreams of the day she found Paul surrounded by his own blood and vomit, but is unaware is she is even awake or sleeping. She even goes as far as to blame herself for killing him. That first week after his death hasn't ended for her, and she feels a constant disconnect. Katie avoids anything that triggers the painful reminder of that day. She refuses to enter the master bedroom where she found Paul, only allowing herself to sleep in the spare bedroom. She has pushed away everyone in her life: her friends, family, and even her six-year-old daughter, Ella. She knows she hasn't been the best mom, but she refuses to let her parents take Ella away from her and puts on a mask that everything is fine.
When Katie's mother, Rochelle, confronts her at a birthday party, Katie finds herself running away from her problems again and ends up at a party for her childhood friend's older brother, Brent. While there, she blacks out and wakes up the next morning in an unfamiliar bed, with her dress torn and an painful ache between her legs, but she is unable to piece together the events of what had happened the night before to lead up to this.
Liam, Brent's brother and Katie's best friend, tries to help Katie confront her issues, but pushes her away even further when he expresses his true feelings for her. Liam refuses to let Katie run off again, and when he explains to her how he has coped with the loss of Paul, she realizes she is not the only one suffering and that her and Liam are not so different after all. Sometimes it is easier to admit you have a problem and seek help when someone close to you is dealing with the same issues.
Katie finally begins to remember bits and pieces of what happened the night of the party, but will she be able to deal with the repercussions of what had happened and seek help or will she continue to spiral further, drowning into the issues that have been plaguing her and continue to push everyone away?
*****
I loved the synopsis for Pulling Me Under, and the storyline drew me in immediately. From the very beginning you could see that Katie has an inner battle with the way she's coping with her husband's death. Rebecca Berto did a great job of depicting how Katie's thought process jumped around and her struggle dealing with every day things in her life, including being a mom. At times I seriously just wanted to slap Katie for how she was behaving and scream at her to put her daughter first, but at the same time I felt for her and thought to myself, if I had been in the same situation I might have turned to the same outlets to deal with the pain as well.
I didn't see the end coming at all. Throughout the book I was trying to guess who was responsible for what happened to Katie at the party. Every time Katie had any recollection of that night, I immediately went with her gut instinct of who might have been, but I was so far off. I like that it kept things suspenseful, even right up to the very end.
There were a few things I didn't like about the book. There were a lot of parts that I felt were over-stretched and dragged on, and I found myself skimming over a few pages. I didn't really feel a connection between Katie and Liam, even after they grew closer. I wanted to so badly, and I knew he was the perfect one for her to lean on and help carry the burden, since they were both struggling, but for me, the feelings between them just weren't there. My biggest bugaboo was that the entire book was written in the first person from Katies's POV. . .EXCEPT part 2. Part 2 was written in the third person, and I just felt like it didn't flow with the rest of the book. I think it might have been better to to go back and forth between Katie and Brent's POV in the first person (but that's just my opinion).
Overall, I did enjoy the book. It was emotional and drew on several heart-wrenching issues that I think a lot of readers can relate to. Kudos to Ms. Berto!
October 13, 2013
Pulling Me Under is a story that will unsettle you. It will rattle your emotions. Only the most raw of emotions, only the most brutal truths can really shake you at your core. Pulling Me Under is all of the above. This is not a story about a picture-perfect family and cookie-cut characters. This is a story about a family that is raw with shades of love, hate, grief, rage and redemption. In the prequel, Precise, you met Katie. But in Pulling Me Under, Katie slips under your skin and challenges you to feel the raw emotion of brutal truths. This story will have your heart in your throat. It is a tour-de-force of emotion and the joys and pains of love: lost love, romantic love, maternal love and family love. You forget this is a story as Katie and her family and friends come alive for you. You will want to embrace Katie from what life has in store for her but you will also want her to find the life she needs and wants. She is that character you want to pull through and have triumph. You will keep turning every page just to see what happens next. This is that rare novel: the one you forget has been imagined by an author. Rebecca Berto proves she has nothing to prove with this story. The story speaks loud enough for her. Pulling Me Under will pull at your humanity and the rawest but most truthful part of yourself. Pulling Me Under will challenge you to not take family, friends and love for granted. Prepare to be pulled under by Pulling Me Under.
October 3, 2013
I honestly enjoyed Pulling Me Under a lot more than it's prequel, Precise. I felt a connection with the characters in this book, and thinking back to Precise, it definitely paves the road for this story.
Pulling Me Under is set five years ahead of Precise. After her husband's death, Katie develops PTSD. For the first part of the book, I was thinking "Oh no! She's turned into her mother!" A lot of her mother Rochelle's traits had definitely surfaced in Katie at the beginning of this book. To forget and drown out her inner voice, Katie turns to the bottle.
After stumbling upon a nearby party one night, Katie's world begins to change. After not remembering what happened at the party, she slowly realises that she needs help - for both her daughter Ella's sake, and for her own.
Katie has a lot of inner strength. I felt like I was there beside her on her journey throughout the story - for the bad,and the good, and the highs and the lows.
Although I found the first half of the book a little slow, it certainly builds pace towards the end. I ended up being addicted to the story, and found the end to be amazing! It wasn't what I expected, and I certainly didn't see it coming!
I received an ARC from the author in exchange for an honest review.
Pulling Me Under is set five years ahead of Precise. After her husband's death, Katie develops PTSD. For the first part of the book, I was thinking "Oh no! She's turned into her mother!" A lot of her mother Rochelle's traits had definitely surfaced in Katie at the beginning of this book. To forget and drown out her inner voice, Katie turns to the bottle.
After stumbling upon a nearby party one night, Katie's world begins to change. After not remembering what happened at the party, she slowly realises that she needs help - for both her daughter Ella's sake, and for her own.
Katie has a lot of inner strength. I felt like I was there beside her on her journey throughout the story - for the bad,and the good, and the highs and the lows.
Although I found the first half of the book a little slow, it certainly builds pace towards the end. I ended up being addicted to the story, and found the end to be amazing! It wasn't what I expected, and I certainly didn't see it coming!
I received an ARC from the author in exchange for an honest review.
October 5, 2013
SHEESUS! If you don't have this on your TBR list, Get it there, NOW! Holy crap! I'm soooo in a freaking whirlwind right now that I can't even do a review! I have to settle down, get my head in check.... because the title? It does just that! Pulls you freaking UNDER! Spits you back to the surface, drags you back down and throws you back up! It will blow you to the fraking moon, to the sun... and mess with your mind, but I. LOVED. EVERY. BIT. OF. IT! I give you a galaxy of stars, Rebecca Berto!
October 9, 2013
This is a heartbreaking story. We met the characters in the novella Precise so I'd definetly recommend you read it first.
The mental abuse is rife in this book. The main character goes through so much heart ache you just wanna go & save her.
This author is a fantastic story teller. She has that knack of making you feel that your there beside Katie & sharing in her pain.
Be warned this is a hard story to read but I'm glad I did.
Received from author in return for honest review.
The mental abuse is rife in this book. The main character goes through so much heart ache you just wanna go & save her.
This author is a fantastic story teller. She has that knack of making you feel that your there beside Katie & sharing in her pain.
Be warned this is a hard story to read but I'm glad I did.
Received from author in return for honest review.
November 24, 2013
DNF:I tried reading this book for 3 days I just couldn't finish it. I read the 1st book and was able to connect to most of the characters but when I started this book I couldn't continue. I wanted to really get the connection with any one of the characters. I took a break and came back to it but it wasn't there. I read all the 5 and 4 star reviews and was waiting for me to get to that point but it never came.
February 21, 2014
I can really see this book as a movie.. I am not 100% sold on the ending felt it just was missing something more.
October 1, 2014
I couldn't connect with Kates therefore I wasn't interested in her story, whatsoever. DNF for me.
November 6, 2013
Such a riveting story. Totally loved it!
March 15, 2018
Be prepared for an anguishing emotional experience. Pulling Me Under pulls the reader into the heart and soul of Kate Anselin, a young widow with a six-year-old daughter, who drowns in grief over the death of her husband, a horrible death she witnessed and believes she caused.
In deep stream of consciousness, the reader stumbles through Kates' life, groggy, confused, angry, and at times incoherent, haunted by nightmares, flashbacks and guilt. Kates is failing to deal with her reality and even though her husband's faithful friend, Liam, is there to give her a hand, she is unable to grasp his friendship. Instead, she falls deeper and deeper in to the morass, seemingly unable to pull herself out, or allow anyone close enough to help.
Meanwhile, her mother implies Kates is an unfit mother. She insists on babysitting Ella and questions Kates on everything. Things come to a crisis one night when Kates goes to a party at her parents' house and Mom gives her the third degree about bottles in her trash. She takes off, has too much to drink and ends up back at the wrong party.
Things go bad fast, and in the aftermath, Kates has to face up to her dire situation, or sink further under. Some of the best stream of consciousness I've ever read is in Chapter eleven. Chapter eleven's are oftentimes at the 25% mark, exactly where the protagonist is at the point of no return, unable to go back to whatever state he/she was in, yet not equipped to deal with what's coming ahead. The die is cast, and Kates has to face that her drunkenness has caused something horrible to happen.
I hate to leave you at this point, but what follows is an incredibly inspiring, yet PAINFUL journey as Kates wakes up to the realization that she must go forward and get help, or destroy the lives of all those around her.
You'll root for Kates to overcome her demons and drool over Liam, her faithful friend, while trying to figure out the evil person who hurt Kates when she was at her most vulnerable. A satisfying, suspenseful ending.
In deep stream of consciousness, the reader stumbles through Kates' life, groggy, confused, angry, and at times incoherent, haunted by nightmares, flashbacks and guilt. Kates is failing to deal with her reality and even though her husband's faithful friend, Liam, is there to give her a hand, she is unable to grasp his friendship. Instead, she falls deeper and deeper in to the morass, seemingly unable to pull herself out, or allow anyone close enough to help.
Meanwhile, her mother implies Kates is an unfit mother. She insists on babysitting Ella and questions Kates on everything. Things come to a crisis one night when Kates goes to a party at her parents' house and Mom gives her the third degree about bottles in her trash. She takes off, has too much to drink and ends up back at the wrong party.
Things go bad fast, and in the aftermath, Kates has to face up to her dire situation, or sink further under. Some of the best stream of consciousness I've ever read is in Chapter eleven. Chapter eleven's are oftentimes at the 25% mark, exactly where the protagonist is at the point of no return, unable to go back to whatever state he/she was in, yet not equipped to deal with what's coming ahead. The die is cast, and Kates has to face that her drunkenness has caused something horrible to happen.
I hate to leave you at this point, but what follows is an incredibly inspiring, yet PAINFUL journey as Kates wakes up to the realization that she must go forward and get help, or destroy the lives of all those around her.
You'll root for Kates to overcome her demons and drool over Liam, her faithful friend, while trying to figure out the evil person who hurt Kates when she was at her most vulnerable. A satisfying, suspenseful ending.
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