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Beyond Ordinary: When a Good Marriage Just Isn't Good Enough
How safe is your marriage? The answer may surprise you. The biggest threat to any marriage isn't infidelity or miscommunication. The greatest enemy is ordinary. Ordinary marriages lose hope. Ordinary marriages lack vision. Ordinary marriages give in to compromise. Ordinary is the belief that this is as good as it will ever get. And when we begin to settle for ordinary, it's easy to move from "I do" to "I'm done."Justin and Trisha Davis know just how dangerous ordinary can be. In this beautifully written book, Justin and Trisha take us inside the slow fade that occurred in their own marriage--each telling the story from their own perspective. Together, they reveal the mistakes they made, the work they avoided, the thoughts and feelings that led to an affair and near divorce, and finally, the heart-change that had to occur in both of them before they could experience the hope, healing, and restoration of a truly extraordinary marriage.
219 pages, Paperback
First published December 20, 2012
151 people are currently reading
1178 people want to read
About the author
Justin Davis
2 books14 followersJustin is an author, speaker, and pastor who dedicated his life to helping people experience life change through the power of authenticity. He co-founded RefineUs Ministries, where he shares his personal story with honesty and transparency, inspiring others to find the courage to do the same.
Justin is the co-author of the bestselling book, Beyond Ordinary: When a Good Marriage Just Isn't Good Enough, which he wrote alongside his wife, Trisha.
He is a sought-after speaker for numerous conferences, churches, and leadership events, inspiring audiences with a message of hope and transformation through the grace of Jesus.
Justin loves to spend time with his family. He enjoys playing basketball, indulging in the Great Wall of Chocolate at PF Chang's, and taking long walks on the beach with his wife and kids. Justin and Trisha have five kids and live in Indianapolis, IN
Justin is the co-author of the bestselling book, Beyond Ordinary: When a Good Marriage Just Isn't Good Enough, which he wrote alongside his wife, Trisha.
He is a sought-after speaker for numerous conferences, churches, and leadership events, inspiring audiences with a message of hope and transformation through the grace of Jesus.
Justin loves to spend time with his family. He enjoys playing basketball, indulging in the Great Wall of Chocolate at PF Chang's, and taking long walks on the beach with his wife and kids. Justin and Trisha have five kids and live in Indianapolis, IN
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 115 reviews
September 10, 2015
A friend who is dealing with marital issues shared with me how much she enjoyed this book, so I decided it was worth a read.
The great cover, as well as the concept of building-up relationships to make them extra-ordinary piqued my interest.
The authors (husband and wife, Justin and Trisha) portrayed a surface-honesty, and more personal issues than I cared to learn about. I skipped many pages, scanning here and there to find some kind of light—but each page was much of the same. I just couldn’t get past Justin’s arrogant ego, lies, and deception. In my mind, this was not an ordinary marriage needing a little light…it was a dark disaster. I feel for Trisha.
I’m sorry…perhaps writing the book was a cathartic experience for them, but it was a little disappointing for me. It didn’t really deliver what I expected. I’m glad I read it on a loan, rather than purchased it myself.
The great cover, as well as the concept of building-up relationships to make them extra-ordinary piqued my interest.
The authors (husband and wife, Justin and Trisha) portrayed a surface-honesty, and more personal issues than I cared to learn about. I skipped many pages, scanning here and there to find some kind of light—but each page was much of the same. I just couldn’t get past Justin’s arrogant ego, lies, and deception. In my mind, this was not an ordinary marriage needing a little light…it was a dark disaster. I feel for Trisha.
I’m sorry…perhaps writing the book was a cathartic experience for them, but it was a little disappointing for me. It didn’t really deliver what I expected. I’m glad I read it on a loan, rather than purchased it myself.
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July 1, 2013Before I say anything else about this book, I want to say how much I hated the way the authors used the word "ordinary." I think that much of our culture's destructive narcissism comes from a refusal to be ordinary. The authors' insistence on using "ordinary" to describe a bad marriage and "extraordinary" to describe a good (ordinary) one rubbed me the wrong way.
But if you look past that, the book is pretty good. It is written by both the husband and wife, a good ten years after they reconciled. They have given themselves the time necessary to make real, lasting changes. Both of them describe their failings and the ways they needed to change. Both of them admit flaws and sins. The overall tone of the book is humble, and they embrace grace and forgiveness as the only way to have an "extraordinary" marriage. There is real compassion and insight here.
This is also the only time I can remember reading a Christian marriage book where the scripture passages are general and not specifically about marriage or gender roles. The Davises are more likely to quote the stories of Samson or Moses than the familiar handful of Pauline texts on marriage. This adds to the the tone of humility in the book: the authors write like people who are trying to be shaped in their whole character by scripture, rather than someone cherry-picking texts to teach others. It was a pleasure to find that.
But if you look past that, the book is pretty good. It is written by both the husband and wife, a good ten years after they reconciled. They have given themselves the time necessary to make real, lasting changes. Both of them describe their failings and the ways they needed to change. Both of them admit flaws and sins. The overall tone of the book is humble, and they embrace grace and forgiveness as the only way to have an "extraordinary" marriage. There is real compassion and insight here.
This is also the only time I can remember reading a Christian marriage book where the scripture passages are general and not specifically about marriage or gender roles. The Davises are more likely to quote the stories of Samson or Moses than the familiar handful of Pauline texts on marriage. This adds to the the tone of humility in the book: the authors write like people who are trying to be shaped in their whole character by scripture, rather than someone cherry-picking texts to teach others. It was a pleasure to find that.
January 10, 2013
Firstly, this book is out of my usual comfort zone. I generally don't read a lot of non-fiction and almost never read self-help books. I also don't read many Christian books but I really liked the idea of reading about marriage from both sides - male and female - so, when I had the opportunity to read for review I took it. I'm glad I did.
The book is written by a husband and wife, Justin and Trisha. Each chapter starts with a story from their life starting with how they met and then moving on through marriage and children. Within each chapter, Justin and Trisha each write from their own perspective what was going on with them during that time. These personal stories are all tied to a specific theme and are illustrated by a Biblical story and verses. The book speaks about honesty and intimacy and forgiveness and many other themes essential to a marriage. The personal stories are honest and poignant and sometimes funny. The Biblical verses and stories are relevant and the whole thing is inspiring.
The overriding message of this book is that in order to have an extraordinary relationship with your spouse, you must have an open and honest relationship with God first and foremost. When you have a truly intimate relationship with God, an extraordinary relationship with your spouse can be within reach.
Granted, this is not a book for everyone. If you are not or are not interested in becoming Christian, you probably won't like this book. This is not a book that mentions God here or there. This is really a book about relationships with God and readers should be aware of that before picking it up. However, for those of us who are Christian or who are not shy about exploring Christianity, this is really a fantastic book for couples to read together. It's very well written and is unique in that it offers both the man and the woman's perspective. Although it focuses on marriage, this would also be great for couples in serious committed relationships as well as all of these concepts can apply to any couple willing to put effort into their relationship.
Note: I received a copy of this book for free from the publisher in exchange for my review. All opinions are honest and are 100% my own.
The book is written by a husband and wife, Justin and Trisha. Each chapter starts with a story from their life starting with how they met and then moving on through marriage and children. Within each chapter, Justin and Trisha each write from their own perspective what was going on with them during that time. These personal stories are all tied to a specific theme and are illustrated by a Biblical story and verses. The book speaks about honesty and intimacy and forgiveness and many other themes essential to a marriage. The personal stories are honest and poignant and sometimes funny. The Biblical verses and stories are relevant and the whole thing is inspiring.
The overriding message of this book is that in order to have an extraordinary relationship with your spouse, you must have an open and honest relationship with God first and foremost. When you have a truly intimate relationship with God, an extraordinary relationship with your spouse can be within reach.
Granted, this is not a book for everyone. If you are not or are not interested in becoming Christian, you probably won't like this book. This is not a book that mentions God here or there. This is really a book about relationships with God and readers should be aware of that before picking it up. However, for those of us who are Christian or who are not shy about exploring Christianity, this is really a fantastic book for couples to read together. It's very well written and is unique in that it offers both the man and the woman's perspective. Although it focuses on marriage, this would also be great for couples in serious committed relationships as well as all of these concepts can apply to any couple willing to put effort into their relationship.
Note: I received a copy of this book for free from the publisher in exchange for my review. All opinions are honest and are 100% my own.
May 12, 2015
This book was not what I had expected. Based on the title and tagline, it seems that an "ordinary" marriage is an average, good, Christian marriage. I thought this story would be about a couple whose marriage was good and then grew to something even better. However, this was not the case. The authors did not have a good marriage to begin with. Their marriage was filled with lies, deceit, arrogance, shaming, manipulation, extreme selfishness, and pornography. The authors use "ordinary" to mean "bad."
I was quite disappointed to read that Justin had an affair, especially considering the fact that he is still a pastor even though he no longer meets the biblical qualifications for a pastor as found in 1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1.
I applaud the authors for sharing their story. It took great courage to write this book and to confess such sins publicly. However, even in confessing such sins, they often aren't called "sin." Rather, they are called things like "brokenness" and "inability to tell the truth." It would have been helpful to have sin spoken of as sin instead of making it out to be something that is simply "ordinary" and expected in a good marriage.
I was quite disappointed to read that Justin had an affair, especially considering the fact that he is still a pastor even though he no longer meets the biblical qualifications for a pastor as found in 1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1.
I applaud the authors for sharing their story. It took great courage to write this book and to confess such sins publicly. However, even in confessing such sins, they often aren't called "sin." Rather, they are called things like "brokenness" and "inability to tell the truth." It would have been helpful to have sin spoken of as sin instead of making it out to be something that is simply "ordinary" and expected in a good marriage.
November 11, 2013
Sort of like watching a train wreck. Some good advice about forgiveness but the husband seems like an extreme narcissist. By the end of the book you are supposed to believe that he has mended his philandering ways....but I'm not too convinced.
January 12, 2013
Beyond Ordinary by Justin & Trisha Davis (founders of RefineUs Ministries, Inc.) is supposedly not an ordinary book on marriage. Having never read a book on marriage prior to this one, I have no idea whether or not that's true. What I do know, however, is that this book is funny, engaging, challenging, and extremely convicting!
From the simple introduction to the very last page, the Davis's bare their heart and soul to the reader. They share their story with such openness and honesty, allowing the pain and raw emotion to leak onto the pages. Justin & Trisha take their time telling the story, not rushing through to the "bad stuff," but show the reader the ins and outs of their daily interactions with one another, the little things that led up to the near destruction of their marriage.
The simple style of the book takes a "he said, she said" approach. Both Justin & Trisha take turns sharing their side of the story. In marriage (and life), there are always two sides of every story, so it was good to hear both perspectives. Also incorporated into the book were occasional journal entries from Trisha, which gives the reader a genuine glimpse of her heart and emotions at the time.
The message of Beyond Ordinary is profound. Justin & Trisha don't simply try to give the reader steps to a better marriage. This book does not give a list of rules and regulations, do's and don'ts, or say whatever a typical marriage book would say. Instead, the Davis's focus on telling their story of redemption and what it takes to go from an ordinary marriage to an extraordinary one. What it takes might surprise you as having an extraordinary marriage is not a result of doing more or less of this or that for your spouse. It's what you do with your heart that matters.
Whether you have a happy marriage, an ordinary marriage, or a down-right difficult marriage, I recommend you read Beyond Ordinary.
From the simple introduction to the very last page, the Davis's bare their heart and soul to the reader. They share their story with such openness and honesty, allowing the pain and raw emotion to leak onto the pages. Justin & Trisha take their time telling the story, not rushing through to the "bad stuff," but show the reader the ins and outs of their daily interactions with one another, the little things that led up to the near destruction of their marriage.
The simple style of the book takes a "he said, she said" approach. Both Justin & Trisha take turns sharing their side of the story. In marriage (and life), there are always two sides of every story, so it was good to hear both perspectives. Also incorporated into the book were occasional journal entries from Trisha, which gives the reader a genuine glimpse of her heart and emotions at the time.
The message of Beyond Ordinary is profound. Justin & Trisha don't simply try to give the reader steps to a better marriage. This book does not give a list of rules and regulations, do's and don'ts, or say whatever a typical marriage book would say. Instead, the Davis's focus on telling their story of redemption and what it takes to go from an ordinary marriage to an extraordinary one. What it takes might surprise you as having an extraordinary marriage is not a result of doing more or less of this or that for your spouse. It's what you do with your heart that matters.
Whether you have a happy marriage, an ordinary marriage, or a down-right difficult marriage, I recommend you read Beyond Ordinary.
June 15, 2013
It's an okay book. Some parts annoy me, I didn't realize the only readers should be those in a "declining" or "ordinary" marriage. It seems to tell you, often, that eventually your marriage will just become ordinary. Thanks for that negativity. I do like the honesty of the authors etc and both taking responsibility for their actions etc.
June 19, 2013
What an incredible book!!! I stumbled across this on kindles 100 best free list a month ago, and decided to read it not because my marriage is struggling, but just because I want to ensure it stays strong for years to come. This book is about so much more than creating a God centered marriage, focusing on intimacy first with God and then allowing his transformation in your life to create the intimate relationship with your spouse God designed marriage to be. I will say that this book for me answered so many questions as to why my efforts at creating a stronger marriage werent working. Ive struggled with the difference in my plan and Gods extraordinary plan (again, I have a great marriage, but I knew it had the potential to be extraordinarily great) for a while, and my own efforts didnt give me any satisfaction. I wasnt submitting.completely to God to let him implement His plan. I finished this book excited to see what complete submission to God and a fully known intimate relationship with Him will do for my life, and my marriage. Id recommend this one to anyone, married, engaged, or just desiring intimacy with God to prepare for intimacy with a spouse later in life.
June 17, 2013
When I saw this book free on Kindle, I had to read it. I am content in my marriage, but a good thing can always get better, right? What I liked about this book was the raw honesty from the authors. It really makes you think about the time and commitment you need to make to improve your marriage (even if it is already "good"). Some of the content was tough to read and the questions were challenging, but it really did make me think about the status quo.
January 23, 2013
Excellent story of what it means to truly have an extraordinary marriage. The Davis' are very transparent with the struggles and pitfalls they have gone through during their marriage, and this can help others to grow closer to God to have an authentically intimate marriage.
March 5, 2014
This book is poorly written and neither if the main characters are very likable, but it did spark great conversation in our small group.
July 11, 2022
Cannot recommend. I think mainly because they seem so proud of themselves. I don’t know. Just did not like the couple…
January 19, 2013
Beyond Ordinary is a memoir from Justin and Trisha Davis about striving for an extraordinary marriage. Most of us struggle and settle for an ordinary marriage. We tend to think we’re doing just okay in our marriages it’s not really that bad. But meanwhile we’re longing for a better marriage. Justin and Trisha Davis got engaged shortly after dating for about six months. They both were in love and had high anticipations of how their marriage was going to be different from most. Over time their love for each other was beyond tested in ways they never saw coming. Justin was very determined to pursue ministry full time and he was very driven to reach out to the community and bring people to Christ. They eventually started arguing more and the resentment and bitterness slowly crept into their marriage. They both struggled to let offences go in their marriage. A big part of marriage is being intimate and sharing your concerns instead of hiding and stuffing our emotions and shortcomings. Justin made a decision and chose to have an affair with Trisha’s best friend, who also was active in the church. Justin came clean to Trisha and this book shared in details how they had to seek God for their healing and forgiveness. Trisha had a choice to make either to forgive him or to get a divorce.
I would recommend this magnificent book to anyone who is single and hoping to eventually get married and to anyone who is already married. Singles and married couples would greatly benefit from learning how Justin and Trisha Davis overcame a lot of their brokenness and how they began to forgive and heal from the wounds inflicted in their marriage. The book is more geared towards marriage couples. Let me just say that, I’m not yet in the target audience and I’m single. But I reviewed this book because I’m trying to gather and learn as much as I can before I find someone to marry. And I read it to acquire how to become a better husband and father. This book has helped me to see where some of the problem areas occur in marriage and how the little things over time erode and try to destroy the marriage and prevents intimacy from happening. I believe this book has assisted me into becoming a better husband and father for whenever that time might be. I am also planning to re-read this one together with my future wife.
I loved how transparent Justin and Trisha were in this memoir. Justin revealed many times in the book the bad choices he made and how he had to let God change him. Justin had to face the fact that he gave into temptation and had an affair. He also learned at his core that he got his value from his work in ministry and he feared failing. He also cared a great deal of what people thought of him. I personally connected with Justin because I also have fears of failing and I care what people think.
I immensely loved the suggestion of praying for your spouse and most importantly praying with your spouse daily. Justin and Trisha stated that only a small percentage of Christians pray with their spouse, which I personally think would help marriages feel closer to God and their spouse. This is something I plan to begin in my marriage and I want to teach my children that it’s extremely important to pray to our Heavenly Father. Justin and Trisha also included a chapter on sex and how they had to have “the talk” to their boys. They wanted to pass down the important of sexual purity and the need to only be one with your spouse. This chapter infinitely instilled in me the significance of discussing sex to my future children and why it’s imperative to wait until marriage.
This book covered multiple topics that will benefit your marriage if you apply the knowledge and work towards an extraordinary marriage. You don’t have to settle for just an okay marriage, go for the marriage that God created! Even when you’re broken and hurt keep striving for oneness with the person you committed yourself to. If you’re looking for a book to help you improve your marriage, then read this one that contained real stories from Justin and Trisha to support you in your journey!
Tyndale House Publishers has provided me with a complimentary copy of this book.
I would recommend this magnificent book to anyone who is single and hoping to eventually get married and to anyone who is already married. Singles and married couples would greatly benefit from learning how Justin and Trisha Davis overcame a lot of their brokenness and how they began to forgive and heal from the wounds inflicted in their marriage. The book is more geared towards marriage couples. Let me just say that, I’m not yet in the target audience and I’m single. But I reviewed this book because I’m trying to gather and learn as much as I can before I find someone to marry. And I read it to acquire how to become a better husband and father. This book has helped me to see where some of the problem areas occur in marriage and how the little things over time erode and try to destroy the marriage and prevents intimacy from happening. I believe this book has assisted me into becoming a better husband and father for whenever that time might be. I am also planning to re-read this one together with my future wife.
I loved how transparent Justin and Trisha were in this memoir. Justin revealed many times in the book the bad choices he made and how he had to let God change him. Justin had to face the fact that he gave into temptation and had an affair. He also learned at his core that he got his value from his work in ministry and he feared failing. He also cared a great deal of what people thought of him. I personally connected with Justin because I also have fears of failing and I care what people think.
I immensely loved the suggestion of praying for your spouse and most importantly praying with your spouse daily. Justin and Trisha stated that only a small percentage of Christians pray with their spouse, which I personally think would help marriages feel closer to God and their spouse. This is something I plan to begin in my marriage and I want to teach my children that it’s extremely important to pray to our Heavenly Father. Justin and Trisha also included a chapter on sex and how they had to have “the talk” to their boys. They wanted to pass down the important of sexual purity and the need to only be one with your spouse. This chapter infinitely instilled in me the significance of discussing sex to my future children and why it’s imperative to wait until marriage.
This book covered multiple topics that will benefit your marriage if you apply the knowledge and work towards an extraordinary marriage. You don’t have to settle for just an okay marriage, go for the marriage that God created! Even when you’re broken and hurt keep striving for oneness with the person you committed yourself to. If you’re looking for a book to help you improve your marriage, then read this one that contained real stories from Justin and Trisha to support you in your journey!
Tyndale House Publishers has provided me with a complimentary copy of this book.
June 16, 2013
Even though I'm not married and have no immediate plans to be, I thought this might be a good book to read. I was right. At first, the authors, Justin and Trisha, seemed rather shallow and mediocre, and they did struggle in their marriage a lot. However, some of their advice is applicable even to single people, for our relationships with God and others. For instance, the everyday choices we make, whether they are selfish or sacrificial, and putting God first. There were many practical and good tips. No doubt it would be even more helpful for married couples to read. There were questions at the end of each chapter for those who are married to apply to themselves.
Caveat: some of the material in the book may not be to your liking to read about, especially if you're a younger single person, but everything was handed quite carefully.
Here are a few quotes which were helpful to me:
'We went from "I love you so much; how can I serve you?" to "If you loved me, then you would do this for me."'
'In order to move beyond ordinary, we have to be intentional. We have an enemy who is intentionally coming against our marriage relationships. We won't drift into extraordinary; we will have to fight for it.'
'Distorting truth and compromising truth often seems innocent and harmless, but it always comes with a price.'
'When we start expecting our spouses' words, behavior, or choices to fill parts of our hearts that only God can fill, we set ourselves up for ordinary marriages.'
'But much like the Israelites, we can easily stop focusing on the presence of God and focus instead on the presents of God.'
'The crossroads that all of us stand at every day is do I choose ordinary again today, or do I choose extraordinary?'
'Bitterness is like picking up a stone to throw and holding on to it so you'll have ammunition the next time you're wounded. We take our stones, hold them tight, and find comfort in them. But if we dwell in bitterness long enough, resentment is sure to follow.'
'I had tried to escape the crushing of teeth and the breaking of bones and in the process had also forgone the faithfulness and mercies and salvation and compassion of God.'
'When we do not live in the fullness of God's love, we are incapable of loving others fully.'
'Wherever sin lives, intimacy dies. That is true in your relationship with God, and it is true in your marriage. But the good news is that wherever intimacy lives, sin dies.'
'We sometimes confuse discipline with a lack of grace, but discipline is an extension of grace.'
Caveat: some of the material in the book may not be to your liking to read about, especially if you're a younger single person, but everything was handed quite carefully.
Here are a few quotes which were helpful to me:
'We went from "I love you so much; how can I serve you?" to "If you loved me, then you would do this for me."'
'In order to move beyond ordinary, we have to be intentional. We have an enemy who is intentionally coming against our marriage relationships. We won't drift into extraordinary; we will have to fight for it.'
'Distorting truth and compromising truth often seems innocent and harmless, but it always comes with a price.'
'When we start expecting our spouses' words, behavior, or choices to fill parts of our hearts that only God can fill, we set ourselves up for ordinary marriages.'
'But much like the Israelites, we can easily stop focusing on the presence of God and focus instead on the presents of God.'
'The crossroads that all of us stand at every day is do I choose ordinary again today, or do I choose extraordinary?'
'Bitterness is like picking up a stone to throw and holding on to it so you'll have ammunition the next time you're wounded. We take our stones, hold them tight, and find comfort in them. But if we dwell in bitterness long enough, resentment is sure to follow.'
'I had tried to escape the crushing of teeth and the breaking of bones and in the process had also forgone the faithfulness and mercies and salvation and compassion of God.'
'When we do not live in the fullness of God's love, we are incapable of loving others fully.'
'Wherever sin lives, intimacy dies. That is true in your relationship with God, and it is true in your marriage. But the good news is that wherever intimacy lives, sin dies.'
'We sometimes confuse discipline with a lack of grace, but discipline is an extension of grace.'
June 17, 2013
To be honest, I rarely read books on marriage because I am not married nor have I ever been, but I decided to read it because I got it for free from Tyndale. I found this book to be more than your average book on saving struggling marriages. It is full of useful advice and God's truth that would be very good not only for struggling marriages, but all marriages in general. I am glad I read this book because if I ever get married, which I highly doubt, I will have already learned some important truths to bring to a marriage such as keeping God first in my life and not looking to a husband to fill a void that only God can fill. I think that this book should be read by everyone is married before their marriage is in danger of becoming a divorce because prevention is better than treatment. Though this book is geared for those who are married, I found a lot of truths that I can apply to my life such as becoming a new person by allowing God to break me and transform me. Everyone has wounds of some sort in their life and learning to forgive is something that everyone needs to do and this book was very helpful in showing me what true forgiveness is. Though I am not married, I realized that this book was still for me because I realized that God had a lot to do in my life and that I need to allow Him before I even think about getting married and starting a family. I recommend this book to those who are married or engaged because it will shape the future of your relationship with your spouse.
January 9, 2013
How safe is your marriage? The answer may surprise you. The biggest threat to any marriage isn't infidelity or miscommunication. The greatest enemy is ordinary. Ordinary marriages lose hope. Ordinary marriages lack vision. Ordinary marriages give in to compromise. Ordinary is the belief that this is as good as it will ever get. And when we begin to settle for ordinary, it's easy to move from "I do" to "I'm done."
Justin and Trisha Davis share with the reader their honest and transparent journey toward a marriage that is more than ordinary. The journey starts with them falling in love in college, continues through various ministries and moves and concludes with their ongoing restoration after the betrayal of adultery.
Beyond Ordinary is written so that the reader experiences the viewpoints of both authors in a "he said/she said" fashion followed by collaboration by both Justin and Trisha in each chapter. Each chapter ends with four thought provoking questions.
I found Beyond Ordinary to be riveting and aesthetic. It left me not only inspired to strive for an extraordinary marriage, but also a closer, "less ordinary" daily walk with Christ. I have been following Justin and Trisha on Twitter and on their blog for the past couple of years and knew their "story" but I still found Beyond Ordinary to be superb and encouraging. You do not have to be dealing with infidelity to appreciate Beyond Ordinary.
The publisher provided me with Beyond Ordinary to read and review.
Justin and Trisha Davis share with the reader their honest and transparent journey toward a marriage that is more than ordinary. The journey starts with them falling in love in college, continues through various ministries and moves and concludes with their ongoing restoration after the betrayal of adultery.
Beyond Ordinary is written so that the reader experiences the viewpoints of both authors in a "he said/she said" fashion followed by collaboration by both Justin and Trisha in each chapter. Each chapter ends with four thought provoking questions.
I found Beyond Ordinary to be riveting and aesthetic. It left me not only inspired to strive for an extraordinary marriage, but also a closer, "less ordinary" daily walk with Christ. I have been following Justin and Trisha on Twitter and on their blog for the past couple of years and knew their "story" but I still found Beyond Ordinary to be superb and encouraging. You do not have to be dealing with infidelity to appreciate Beyond Ordinary.
The publisher provided me with Beyond Ordinary to read and review.
December 28, 2012
Beyond Ordinary is an excellent "marriage book". The authors share the story of their marriage journey through ministry and adultery to an extraordinary relationship. I actually found myself reading to find out what happens in their story and had to remind myself to think of personal application. I liked that each chapter shared more of their story, as well as a Biblical story and insights into how to move into an extraordinary covenant relationship. Obviously this would be an excellent book for a couple struggling in the aftermath of adultery or a similar betrayal, but it is also great for anyone at any level. As the authors say, we often settle for ordinary, not realizing we could have so much more. Since the authors take turns writing individually as well as together, one gets insight into how the opposite sex thinks and much of their story struck a chord with me. I appreciated as well how the authors are clear that one's personal relationship with Christ must be first and foremost in importance. I recommend this book for any couple or even an engaged couple to read and discuss how to implement these ideas from the start.
I received a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for my honest review.
I received a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for my honest review.
December 29, 2012
Beyond Ordinary: "When a good marriage just isn't good enough" by Justin and Trisha Davis
This book arrived from Tyndale House Publishers for me to review, and I had to giggle. I am single, and not in a relationship at this moment. I thought, how in the world is this going to be a book that I can read or get anything out of of.
But oh did I. Justin and Trisha share a true story with us about their relationship- in his words, her words and thoughts, and then come together to explain how they made/make it work.
For a single person, the lessons learned here can be applied to any relationship that you might have. As Justin and Trisha point out that communication is the key to keeping a relationship successful. Even those who are totally in tune with God can have disagreements in their relationships, and Justin and Trisha are so open and honest with what happened with them and what brought them to where they are today.
Acceptance and accountability in what God has for you, where you are at the moment and what you responsible for, be it in a marriage, a friendship, a dating relationship or in work is vital in daily living.
I for one appreciate Justin and Trisha's candor. It is a good love story and it is believable.
Four Stars
This book arrived from Tyndale House Publishers for me to review, and I had to giggle. I am single, and not in a relationship at this moment. I thought, how in the world is this going to be a book that I can read or get anything out of of.
But oh did I. Justin and Trisha share a true story with us about their relationship- in his words, her words and thoughts, and then come together to explain how they made/make it work.
For a single person, the lessons learned here can be applied to any relationship that you might have. As Justin and Trisha point out that communication is the key to keeping a relationship successful. Even those who are totally in tune with God can have disagreements in their relationships, and Justin and Trisha are so open and honest with what happened with them and what brought them to where they are today.
Acceptance and accountability in what God has for you, where you are at the moment and what you responsible for, be it in a marriage, a friendship, a dating relationship or in work is vital in daily living.
I for one appreciate Justin and Trisha's candor. It is a good love story and it is believable.
Four Stars
February 13, 2013
I recently read "Beyond Ordinary" by Justin and Trisha Davis. Honestly, I got the first two chapters free online after I read on multiple blogs I follow about the book's release. So I figured I'd try it.
As soon as I finished Chapter 2, I ordered the entire Kindle version of the book from the comforts of my bed that night. You know, it's not often a non-fiction, self-help book reads like a page turner to the point I couldn't wait until morning to read a little more. I read the whole book in a few days, which, really, in this season of mothering two kids 5 and younger is rare.
I loved how both Justin and Trisha tell about their marriage. They take turns weaving together their story of falling in love, settling for what is front of them, messing up by not tending to their relationship, and letting God transform them as individuals and as a family.
The memoir part of the story would stand on its own, but they don't stop there. While telling their story, they teach about bitterness, brokenness, selfishness, confession, oneness, grace, forgiveness, healing, intentional living, redemption and transformation. Yep, all those things, and, really, probably more, in one book.
As soon as I finished Chapter 2, I ordered the entire Kindle version of the book from the comforts of my bed that night. You know, it's not often a non-fiction, self-help book reads like a page turner to the point I couldn't wait until morning to read a little more. I read the whole book in a few days, which, really, in this season of mothering two kids 5 and younger is rare.
I loved how both Justin and Trisha tell about their marriage. They take turns weaving together their story of falling in love, settling for what is front of them, messing up by not tending to their relationship, and letting God transform them as individuals and as a family.
The memoir part of the story would stand on its own, but they don't stop there. While telling their story, they teach about bitterness, brokenness, selfishness, confession, oneness, grace, forgiveness, healing, intentional living, redemption and transformation. Yep, all those things, and, really, probably more, in one book.
January 2, 2013
I love self help books. Even if it's not an area I particularly need help in, I still love to read them. I find that they are typically helpful in helping me to understand people in general. This book is one of the best I've read in a really long time.
This book is an extremely well written book that goes beyond marriage. Justin and Trisha are refreshingly open and transparent about their journey as a married couple who finds themselves in a relationship that seems beyond repair. They chronicle their growth and learning in a poignant and humorous (where applicable) way.
It is primarily a relationship book particularly that of the marriage relationship, but many of the principles and lessons that Justin and Trish had to learn before they could begin to heal and to be whole can be applied to life in general.
I can't remember the last time I read a self help book that I enjoyed so much as this one.
This book is an extremely well written book that goes beyond marriage. Justin and Trisha are refreshingly open and transparent about their journey as a married couple who finds themselves in a relationship that seems beyond repair. They chronicle their growth and learning in a poignant and humorous (where applicable) way.
It is primarily a relationship book particularly that of the marriage relationship, but many of the principles and lessons that Justin and Trish had to learn before they could begin to heal and to be whole can be applied to life in general.
I can't remember the last time I read a self help book that I enjoyed so much as this one.
July 2, 2013
I really enjoyed this book. I appreciated their honesty in all of their struggles. I appreciated that there wasn't a check list of things to do and check off that will make your marriage better. Through my own experiences and struggles, I found much of what they said to be true. Only God can heal our brokenness and that healing process can be downright painful and unpleasant. The result however, is better than we could have ever imagined. Also, the importance of complete honesty with ones spouse. When we share all that we are, the good, the bad and the ugly, that creates intimacy. When we have that honesty and intimacy, it flows into all areas of our marriage. When we lack that, when we don't address our hurts, it becomes detrimental to our marriages. I found their honesty refreshing and encouraging. Great read.
June 21, 2013
Usually it takes me ages to read non-fiction because I become bored & disengaged easily. I feel weird saying this about a marriage book, but Beyond Ordinary continued to re-engage me. I feel like there were many ways I was reminded about being intentional in my marriage.
This couple's bold step to be public with what they've gone through & hearing about people's response to them going public is our reality check that marriage is a hard road for everyone. Even that couple you look at & say, wow, they've got it right, has issues that they either work through on a regular basis or will have to confront at some point.
Point is, you're not the only one who has rough spots or can see your relationship flatlining, but as the Davises said, you don't have to hit rock-bottom to make a u-turn back toward extraordinary.
This couple's bold step to be public with what they've gone through & hearing about people's response to them going public is our reality check that marriage is a hard road for everyone. Even that couple you look at & say, wow, they've got it right, has issues that they either work through on a regular basis or will have to confront at some point.
Point is, you're not the only one who has rough spots or can see your relationship flatlining, but as the Davises said, you don't have to hit rock-bottom to make a u-turn back toward extraordinary.
February 4, 2013
I am only half way through this book but it is AMAZING!!! It is hard to read at times because you don't want to admit you may have some of these issues they discuss. It's honest, funny and a MUST read for every couple no matter where their relationship is at. Will update when I complete the book.
WOW! Now that I've read this book it's time for the hard part. Using it! I pray for each person/couple that reads the book would not merely store the knowledge but will put it to use. I'm terrified to do so but I'm going to use this book to work towards an extraordinary life and marriage. Thank you Justin and Trisha!
WOW! Now that I've read this book it's time for the hard part. Using it! I pray for each person/couple that reads the book would not merely store the knowledge but will put it to use. I'm terrified to do so but I'm going to use this book to work towards an extraordinary life and marriage. Thank you Justin and Trisha!
June 20, 2013
I truly loved this book. I loved the layout and how Trisha and Justin each shared their point of view and how they worked through some extremely hard situations in their marriage. I could completely relate to how difficult that first year of marriage can be. Like the Davis couple, my husband and I had a tough first year of marriage and it was so interesting to read how similar our stories are. And that is what makes a great book - when it is relatable and real and can be applied to your own life.
It was a great read even after having been married for almost ten years. A great reminder to fight 'ordinary' and live 'extraordinary' in your marriage
It was a great read even after having been married for almost ten years. A great reminder to fight 'ordinary' and live 'extraordinary' in your marriage
May 6, 2014
The one nugget of wisdom I took from this book was how it's impossible to feel entitled and grateful in your marriage at the same time. Three of the most damaging words in a marriage can be-YOU OWE ME. We have to resist the inclination to keep score but just give to your spouse with a grateful heart not worrying about if you're getting back all that you're giving. When both individuals have the mind-set of " I want to give because I feel so grateful", the result is two happy and fulfilled individuals.
March 17, 2013
Simply amazing. In a time of "quick and easy divorces", this is an absolute must read for any individual at any point in their life. The authors give the reader a glimpse into their own marriage, and give valuable nuggets to help you have an extraordinary marriage. This book isn't just about having a better marriage, it is also about becoming a better you. Fabulous book. It has helped to change me and my life.
June 27, 2013
This is not your ordinary marriage book: no checklists, no tips, no cute quotes. Instead, the authors present their message within their own personal story. The authors are brutally honest & transparent about their own struggles and about the brokenness God puts them through. Not dealing with personal sin will destroy the intimacy in your marriage. Justin & Trisha are very transparent about this: an ordinary marriage just isn't good enough.
March 19, 2014
When I read the title of this book I took "ordinary" as average or "normal." As a result I thought this book was going to give a "boost" to our marriage. As expected the book gave us a way to improve our marriage but the word "ordinary" seemed to mean dysfunctional throughout the book. I had a hard time getting past the vocabulary, but if you can get past that, I think the book is insightful and encourages total dependence on God and total honesty with your spouse.
January 16, 2013
Not an ordinary Christian marriage help book. Justin and Trisha tell both sides of the story from the beginning of their relationship up to today. Their story is not unlike what I think a lot of couples struggle with, but most would not have the courage to face the truth, fight it, and fight on the front lines with God to save their marriage. It is a true testament to what marriage should be.
March 18, 2013
I appreciate the honesty and transparency of the writers of this book. They tell their story and then very clearly point to Jesus and scriptural principals as the author and equipper of an extraordinary marriage. A good read for those wanting to continue to grow in their marriage or for those who've experienced a betrayal and wonder how it could have ever come to this.
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