Fostering Love: One Foster Parent's Journey

by John DeGarmo

"Children suffering from abuse. Neglect. Malnutrition. Even drug-related problems passed on from a mother's addiction. Children rejected by those who were to love them most, their parents. When placed into a foster home, many of these children carry withthem the physical and emotional scars that prevent them from accepting the love of another. This journey as a foster parent is the most difficult thing John DeGarmo has done. Through the sleepless nights with drug-addicted babies, the battles with angry teens, and the tears from such tremendous sadness, John DeGarmo learns that to follow God's call in his life means to take up His cross in his own home. Fostering One Foster Parent's Journey is the true-life account of his experience as a foster parent, along with his wife and their own three children, as he followed God's call to take foster children into his home. This is a story of heartbreak, sadness, and ultimately love as he came to find God in the tears and smiles of many foster children"--P.[4] of cover.

Genres: Fostering

180 pages, Paperback

First published July 24, 2012

About the author

Born in 1969, Dr. John DeGarmo has worn many hats throughout his life. Singing and dancing while touring around the world in the international super group, Up With People, serving as a D.J. at four different radio stations on two different continents, working in the professional wrestling industry, teaching English and Drama at the high school level, and working as a media specialist at two different schools, Dr. DeGarmo has had a variety of experiences.

Dr. John has appeared on several TV programs, including CNN HLN, Good Morning America, ABC Freeform, and NBC, FOX, CBS, PBS stations. He writes regularly for many magazines, and is a regular contributor to several publications, both in the United States and over seas.

Dr. DeGarmo and his wife are the recipients of the Good Morning America Ultimate Hero Award, and the Up With People Every Day Hero Award. The two also were honored with their city's Citizens of the Year Award.

He is the director of The Foster Care Institute, and acts as a consultant to foster care agencies and legal agencies across the USA. Dr. John is a dynamic speaker and informative trainer on the foster care system, and travels extensively across the globe, meeting with foster parents, child welfare workers, churches, schools, and organizations.


Dr. DeGarmo is married to Dr. Kelly DeGarmo, who hails from Australia, and the two of them have six children, both biological and adoptive. Dr. DeGarmo and his wife are also currently foster parents to three siblings, bringing their household to nine children. Dr. DeGarmo has been a foster parent for dozens of children for over a decade now. He has a passion for foster children, and is driven to bring education and insight into general society about all things foster care.

Reviews

[Barbara K · Rating 5 out of 5]

My husband and I met Dr. DeGarmo at a horror film convention (of all places)! As he mentions several times in "Fostering Love," John is a Bela Lugosi fan. My husband, Greg Mank, is a 1930s film expert/author with a particular knowledge of Lugosi and his counterpart Boris Karloff, and therefore attends these conventions as a guest speaker. John struck up a conversation with us at a Monster Bash convention several years ago and, when he learned I was adopted as an infant, he confided his family's involvement with fostering and adopting.

His book did not disappoint! John writes factually but lovingly about his and his wife Kelly's call to foster despite having biological children of their own. The heartbreak of bringing a wounded child into your home for a day, a week, a year, and then to have to give them up is detailed child by child as John and Kelly answer the call to open their hearts and homes to these little ones.

John's book is episodic and chronological and therefore easy to follow. He writes clearly and involves his reader in both the situations and the emotions. I fell in love with every one of the children!

I have to mention the three extraordinary DeGarmo children as well. Kolby, Jace, and Brody must be exceptionally loving to share their home, their rooms, their toys, and their parents with strangers who come into their space and likely require more attention than they do - but "Fostering Love" portrays them as being secure in their parents' love and giving of love themselves.

I won't say this is a "feel good" book in the usual sense of that word, but it is a book that will make you feel good about the human spirit and the giving natures of those special people who understand that God has given them a mission and they are ready to answer His call.

Highly recommended!

[Juliana Da · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is awful. I am truly shocked that it is listed on so many resource lists for foster parents. The author expresses repeated disdain for the children’s birth parents and complete lack of understanding of addiction and poverty in our society. His perspective is deeply steeped in sexism, classism, and racism. This book is the epitome of white saviorism. I can’t believe I even finished it. I kept expecting the book to turn around, for him to confront his deeply problematic assumptions. But he never does, just barrels through as a self righteous white savior. It was truly a disturbing read. Not to mention that it seemed like no one proofread this book. SO MANY TYPOS. Did he even read the book through after he finished it? Though that makes sense to me— you could not pay me to read this book a second time.

[Stratia · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an excellent book that was very well written giving a personal insight of what it is like to be called by God to be a foster parent. Dr.John DeGarmo shares both the happy and sad things that one faces when choosing this path, but also how it is rewarding to love and help those children who are lost, hurting and feel unloved. When the DeGarmo family receives a call from DCFS, never knowing what child or children will be placed in their home, the family always goes before the Lord in prayer asking for guidance to face whatever is it in front of them. Once you start reading this book, you won’t want to put it down.

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a helpful book in that it detailed the ins and outs of foster parenting. It vividly describes the emotions John and Kelly went through each time they got a call from DFCS, how they felt as each child left their home, and even tragic stories about the home lives of these kids. For that reason I gave this book 4 stars. But it is in desperate need of a good editor. I found typos, spelling errors, and lots of grammatical issues every few pages. The author's last name is even spelled incorrectly on the back of the book. The content is good, but the typos make it seem unprofessional unfortunately and are distracting. Overall a good read if you aren't OCD like me about errors in books.

[Emily · Rating 2 out of 5]

Although this book provided insight into the inner thoughts of a foster family, I was disappointed in their attitudes and point of view a lot of the time. It makes me wonder how different foster parent education and training is for families in the US, and grateful for the extensive training provided to Canadian families. A little too faith-based for me. I also did not appreciate the racist undertones of “not seeing race” when they adopted a child of colour into their white family.

[Twylene Musser · Rating 4 out of 5]

We heard this author speak years ago at a foster parent event. I finally read this book which we'd purchased that night. As a former foster parent, I found the stories heartbreaking, funny, and relatable. The amount of misspellings and errors was a little distracting for me.

[Kristen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I appreciated reading about this family's experiences with foster care and the foster care system, as I am interested in potentially being a foster parent one day. It makes me sad to read about how some children are treated and I'd like to be able to help.

There were a lot of grammatical errors that bothered me, though. I also felt like sometimes the author didn't complete his thoughts or he would write something that would make me think he was going one way, but then he'd drop that idea and pick up something else.

[M.L. Roble · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a wonder of a book to read. We can talk about ways to help children who need care, but this author and his family actually do it. Their story pulls you in, and it is movingly written with a humor and optimism which in no way minimizes the plight of the children who are lucky enough to spend time in their household. While not everyone can foster, it is worthwhile to read and be informed of the ways people can and do help. Ultimately, it is worth it to the children.

[Jamie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I did not like the writing style of this book, and it was probably the least inspiring and moving orphan care book I've read. That said, I think it may be the most informative and helpful book, as far as the day-to-day practicalities and struggles of foster care. I would definitely recommend this to someone getting into foster care but not to your average person looking for a well-written fostering memoir (Another Place at the Table takes the buck for that).

[Jen St.Clair · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great read!


Very honest, truthful, and insightful. I would recommend this book for anyone interested in fostering or fostering to adopt. This book was a easy read and enjoyable!

[Liz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hopefully this will be a good resource for my Foster Parent support group

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

One families story of the foster care system