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Attachment in Common Sense and Doodles: A Practical Guide
Attachment is a word used to describe a simple idea – the relationship with someone you love or whose opinions are important to you – so why is so much of the language relating to attachment so obscure, and why is it so challenging to help children who lack healthy attachment bonds? Attachment in Common Sense and Doodles aims to bring some clarity and simplicity to the subject. Providing grounded information and advice accompanied by a series of simple 'doodles' throughout, it explains attachment in language that is easy to understand and describes how to apply this information in everyday life. It describes how the attachment patterns in children who are adopted or fostered differ, summarises the latest research in the field and provides advice on how to repair attachment difficulties and to build secure, loving relationships. Covering all of the 'need to know' issues including how to spot attachment difficulties, build resilience and empathy and responding to problematic behaviour, this book will be an invaluable resource for families and professionals caring for children who are fostered, adopted or who have experienced early trauma.
208 pages, Paperback
First published January 15, 2013
28 people are currently reading
102 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
September 1, 2013
This book seems to very effectively meet it's intention/purpose - to educate and provide practical guidance and support for adoptive and foster parents facing the challenges of connecting with their child relating with a background of insecure attachment.
Doodles or no doodles, Silver communicates clearly about the challenges of having an insecure attachment for both child and parent, and how these manifest and change in presentation over time in the relationship.
Her practical, and increasing scientifically supported suggestions really rest in the idea of attachment style being a quality of the parent-child relationship rather than inherent and fixed in the child. In this way she retains a level of respect, compassion and sense of workability of the parent-child situation that I don't always get from these types of books/approaches/theory. Comparison could be made to, for example Attachment Parenting approaches.
The exercises/self-reflection points are not too numerous, and seemingly very manageable to do, bringing immediate understanding to then carry into situations, if one engages honestly and openly. Case examples throughout the book are short and appropriate and aid understanding thus can be grounding for parents trying out new ways of interacting with their child.
Whilst the focus is on parenting adoptive/foster children with attachment difficulties, the same understanding and approach would be effective, if not necessary for older children, young adults and adults if your relationship with someone is colored by an individual's early relational path. In that way it's a good book for mental health professionals whose clients may come in with challenging attachment styles which may or may not be the focus of therapy, yet clearly need addressing if only for building the therapeutic alliance (which to me is vehicle of change, regardless of presenting issue).
She touches on the unclear water and similarities of ADHD and ASD diagnoses. I don't know firm lines can be drawn between 'disorders', although certainly differences occurs at the neurological and behavioral level. I think anyone parenting a child with such struggles would benefit from reading Silver's information on this, if only to increase compassion and expand possibility of change.
Also refers a lot to work of and his PLACE (Playfulness, Love, Acceptance, Curiosity, Empathy) approach. Try it, as hokey as it may sound to some.
Doodles or no doodles, Silver communicates clearly about the challenges of having an insecure attachment for both child and parent, and how these manifest and change in presentation over time in the relationship.
Her practical, and increasing scientifically supported suggestions really rest in the idea of attachment style being a quality of the parent-child relationship rather than inherent and fixed in the child. In this way she retains a level of respect, compassion and sense of workability of the parent-child situation that I don't always get from these types of books/approaches/theory. Comparison could be made to, for example Attachment Parenting approaches.
The exercises/self-reflection points are not too numerous, and seemingly very manageable to do, bringing immediate understanding to then carry into situations, if one engages honestly and openly. Case examples throughout the book are short and appropriate and aid understanding thus can be grounding for parents trying out new ways of interacting with their child.
Whilst the focus is on parenting adoptive/foster children with attachment difficulties, the same understanding and approach would be effective, if not necessary for older children, young adults and adults if your relationship with someone is colored by an individual's early relational path. In that way it's a good book for mental health professionals whose clients may come in with challenging attachment styles which may or may not be the focus of therapy, yet clearly need addressing if only for building the therapeutic alliance (which to me is vehicle of change, regardless of presenting issue).
She touches on the unclear water and similarities of ADHD and ASD diagnoses. I don't know firm lines can be drawn between 'disorders', although certainly differences occurs at the neurological and behavioral level. I think anyone parenting a child with such struggles would benefit from reading Silver's information on this, if only to increase compassion and expand possibility of change.
Also refers a lot to work of and his PLACE (Playfulness, Love, Acceptance, Curiosity, Empathy) approach. Try it, as hokey as it may sound to some.
January 22, 2023
What an incredible book. This book is intended for foster and adoption parents, however, I think anyone who works with or has, or intends to have, children should read this book. It explains about attachment theory and the importance of forming healthy, secure, and safe attachments with the children in your care. Attachments shape the people we are, and it influences behaviours, characteristics, and other attributes that define us as humans. For example, it explains how children's misbehaviour, which we label as being "naughty" is often the child trying to communicate a need they want met but can't voice or understand what that need is. It could also be a result of fear, anger, deep sadness, or frustration, and explains how we can nurture and build attachments with the child so that they can feel safe with us and repair their attachment issues.
This book is written in plain English for everybody to understand. You don't have to be a psychologist, or an academic, because it's written in language (along with the help of simple doodles) that is accessible for all.
I actually love psychology and have a great respect for attachment theory anyway, so this book was a treat. It packs a lot of information in a small amount of pages, and I think (hope) that I can take this information and apply it to the children I work with and one day to my own children.
One hundred percent recommend.
This book is written in plain English for everybody to understand. You don't have to be a psychologist, or an academic, because it's written in language (along with the help of simple doodles) that is accessible for all.
I actually love psychology and have a great respect for attachment theory anyway, so this book was a treat. It packs a lot of information in a small amount of pages, and I think (hope) that I can take this information and apply it to the children I work with and one day to my own children.
One hundred percent recommend.
June 23, 2021
This book is very well written! Miriam explains Attachment in children’s relationships extremely well and really easy to understand, with doodles and diagrams for anyone working with children, who have suffered trauma and/or abuse and stuck on how to help and support them self regulate and start forming healthier relationships. Whether you are in the teaching profession or have a child in care who you have either fostered or adopted. I highly recommend this. It’s an extremely informative read!
February 2, 2020
Absolutely anyone working with children and young people across any professional capacity should read this book! Easy to read and understand and Miriam explains things in such a brilliant and succinct way. There is also practical information for parents / carers and professionals to use to work with young people or to help others understand children and truly hold them in mind.
November 1, 2020
This is by far the best book I have read on attachment. It is clear, easy to digest, compassionate and has really useful examples of how to be with children in care. It breaks down the psychological theory into understandable parts and the doodles are helpful to get your head around the concepts, which makes it a lot easier for you to then explain to other people. Would highly recommend!
April 14, 2023
This is a really practical book which makes it easy to understand attachment theory. As an adoptive parent I found it really useful and informative read. It's quite an easy read and the doodles help illustrate the points. I really liked the case studies and although I've read about attachment before it gave me lots of food for thought
June 29, 2023
One of the easiest to follow and most straightforward attachment books I’ve seen. Super accessible and great for professionals, parents, carers and humans in general.
June 1, 2025
A helpful read for prospective adoptive parents but some of the exercises were targeted not at those going through their adoption journey but people who were already parents. The case studies were helpful illustrations but I would've like to hear if they had positive outcomes.
November 23, 2022
Really helpful, easy to read and concise. Loved how filled with hope and compassion it was.
October 19, 2013
An easy and concrete review of attachment with some great interventions and visual aids
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews