Notice: I have made a review for every book of this series and they need to be read in order since they are supposed to feel like an on-going impression. So if you read the second without reading the first will feel rather off.
I am mostly focusing on the style of storytelling and a lot less on if it reads well or something sophisticated like that. For the same reason I tend to have lots of SPOILERS which means that if you read this text you will know THE OVERALL PLOT and how much I DIDN’T like it. So be warned that this is a mostly negative opinion for the whole trilogy which tends to reveal in detail why I didn’t like it. Better be read after you have read the books or if you want to avoid a not-so-smart series. YOU HAVE NOW BEEN WARNED and I can now initiate the slaughter.
--- The Bane of the Black Sword ---
Elric dumps Tanelorn as that would make him happy and the story would end, thus Moorcock wouldn’t be able to keep writing his crap. So he goes to a bar and is hired by some merchants to go kill a rival of theirs. He originally doesn’t care but when they tell him the bodyguard of the enemy merchant is conveniently the sorcerer he keeps bumping into, he immediately accepts. Since his target is inside a heavy guarded castle and he doesn’t summon a god to just kill everybody right away because this way the story would end too soon and Moorcock won’t have shit to sell, he decides to hire an army to help him. And since he doesn’t have enough money for that, he goes to hire the survivors of his race that are living close by. He goes in their crummy camp, where they are now living in poverty and misery and tells them the following: “Hey guys, it’s me, your traitor emperor who helped barbarians to loot our island, kill most of you, rape the rest, and now has you all living as dogs in this shithole, all because I dumped my throne and didn’t kill my cousin when I could have yet came back to have sex with a chick I like. I command you to attack a heavily guarded castle where most of you will be killed, because you see there is a guy inside I really want to kill. Ok?”
As you can imagine they agree, instead of tearing him to tiny pieces for all the terrible things he did to them. So he goes first to spy on the castle and is immediately captured by the sorcerer’s magic (again). So here is his nemesis having at his mercy the guy that has foiled his masterplans for world domination a dozen times. You would think he would by now have been fed up with this pointless chase and would just kill Elric on the spot. I mean, that is what he wants more than anything else in the world, right? To kill the one that stole his woman and foiled his plans a dozen times? Well no, once again he doesn’t as the merchant inside brainlessly says: “Oh come on, it’s just a guy who has killed tens of millions and can summon gods to destroy entire civilizations. Why would he be dangerous?” Elric plays along and says: “Don’t worry, I am not going to harm you, I give you my word.” So the merchant agrees and the sorcerer doesn’t seem to care and thus Elric immediately orders his idiots to invade the castle. The merchant surprised yells: “But you promised!” and Elric replies: “I won’t harm you. They will.” So as his idiotic Melniboneans die for his petty glory the sorcerer summons a god to aid him. Elric predictably summons one of his own to counter that. As things look grim and the sorcerer is now cornered you would think he would just teleport to safety like he always does, right? Well no, Moorcock got tired of this guy so as a plot hole he stands idle for several minutes as Elric hacks with ease through all his magic protections and kills him. Then the merchant says: “Well at least I will not be harmed.” But no, Elric’s supersword flies off his hand and kills him as well. Oh well, it wasn’t Elric, it was his sword…
So after Elric has finally managed to kill the teleporting sorcerer with the only way possible (him not teleporting because Moorcock is a terrible storyteller) and has destroyed yet another culture, including the remains of his own race, he goes back to the city where he was hired and loots the place because everybody is not afraid of him. What, he wasn’t scary before? The guy has travelled through alternative dimensions, time, reality, has fused with other warriors and has killed aliens, gods, armies and destroyed his own race. You guys have no idea what you are doing.
After that, Elric decides to go for a walk inside the most dangerous forest in the world. I guess this would be the only way he wouldn’t be bored with all the powers he possesses. In there, he meets a princess who is chased by forest natives. Upon hearing he is Elric, she immediately spreads her legs and they have sex all night… because that is what a woman wants from a man. This way the forest natives find them while they are exhausted and capture them. Serves you right for not waiting to get out of the forest first. In their village, they decide to sacrifice them to their gods, so their undead army will rise. And just as a thousand zombies and a lich king start eating everybody alive, Elric simply summons his sword to his hand, frees himself and the chick, set fire to everybody in there and leave. And for some reason, Elric did not dump this chick like he did with all the rest of them. I guess he liked how she is a horny slut who wanted to have sex with him the moment he heard his name.
What is interesting here is that Elric found some special herbs in this forest that help him live without the need of his cursed sword killing people and drinking souls anymore. In theory, this would be the perfect ending; he got himself another chick he likes as replacement for his cousin, and he is no longer in need of his cursed sword. How nice, I guess the curtains fall and we can all go home now… Oh no, there is more!
After that, a barbarian horde invades (again) and Elric has the mission to send them away before they reach the city his slut lives in. He takes his cursed sword again, thus proving he just likes killing people and not because he is a prisoner of his power. He goes to the horde and pretends he is their friend. Being the idiotic barbarians they are, they are easily fooled and accept him. He finds out that they are so powerful because they have a wizard, who is aiding them out of fear. His soul is trapped inside a cat and the cat is trapped under a cage with a huge blade so he must obey them or they will kill him. Elric easily replaces the cat with a dead rabbit and everybody is too stupid to tell the difference. Some of them even want to start a fight with him and don’t even notice he is holding the cat. So during the fight the cat escapes and the barbarian leader can finally tell the difference between a living cat and a dead rabbit. He even has an epiphany and knows it was Elric who took it and imprisons him. But no worries, Elric once more summons a god to fetch him the cat. Nice strategy there Moorcock, I didn’t see it coming. With that the wizard has his soul and no reason to obey them further. They break havoc and escape, but along the way the wizard gets killed by an arrow. Well, it was all for nothing I guess… After that, Elric summons dragons who scare everybody away and thus he returns victorious to his slut. Man, there is nothing impossible for him if he can summon the whole Monster Manual, is there?
After that another horde invades Tanelorn. Jesus, is there a horde for every day of the year? And this time the hero is not Elric but the Red Archer, his companion from the first and fifth books. He goes to find aid and after some pathetically easy challenges, he finds something like the Flying Dutchman who comes to the rescue and together they defeat the horde. He even finds a chick that was supposed to be dead but Moorcock resurrected just because it would feel cool this way.