Whew.......Ok.....Let me process, here.
I read this on a whim. My friend told me about this book months ago. But I read the description and it sounded like a gut-wrencher (which it was) and I usually stay away from those. I read to escape, not be sad and have my heart ripped out. Just don't enjoy those kinds of books.
But THIS BOOK was so different.
It was sad and gut-wrenching and anger-inducing and I cried a good portion of the book. But the way it was written was amazing to me. And the main character, Maya? Wow. I haven't read a book in forever that I loved the MC so much. In fact, she may well be my favorite female character of all. Because she wasn't stupid, snotty, snippy, constantly whining or lashing out at the main guy, leaving the guy, or constantly getting on my nerves with a poor attitude that lots of YA books throw out as 'personality and spunk'. I don't like the attitude of "I'm gonna do what I want and I don't care who gets hurt or what anyone thinks". I can't stand it when the girl is like that. Amity made me fall in love with Maya from page one with her faith and hope and unconditional love.
And Ben? Oh. My. Goodness. I don't think I've ever felt so badly for a character. That poor guy. And I read a review that said that they didn't like Ben b\c he made Maya do all the chasing in the book. After what happened to him and all the circumstances of it, how could you expect him to do the chasing!!! Yes, the book's romance isn't much, which I think is what surprised me the most about my liking the book. I am a romance junky and the really sweet, mushy kind is the best, but just the prelude to romance, the few moments we did see some, and Maya's unconditional friendship and the way she fought for Ben even when he was backing away b\c he felt he didn't deserve it, was WAY enough to keep me sunk into the story.
Really, I feel this book was the pre-relationship period. I would LOVE to see a sequel where we can actually see them together more and get deeper with Ben. He was such a great character. And when he came to her defense with a certain someone, but she didn't know it, that right there showed that he really only ever wanted to protect her. He said it so many times, "It's not that I don't want to" and it was obvious that's how he really felt. He truly, honestly wanted to keep her safe above all else.
My final take on this book? It had a good pace, I was never bored or flipping through b\c of too much information. It was an overally sad book, but I still had that little glimmer of hope to keep me going. The writing was great. Reading Indie books is what made me write my own books and I'm not being biased, but most of my favorite books are Indie. This is one of those books where the cover can't explain what you're about to get into when you open the book. It was a surprise and I loved that. I stayed up to 4am to finish last night and with me being a stay at home mom that gets up with her kids, that's saying how invested I was in it.
Definitely my top 10 for the year, even though it's only January. The message really wasn't bullying, b\c of the circumstances, but gossiping and assuming...it really shows how something can be made to be something it's not because of people's unwillingness to mind there own business and have a little faith in people.
I want this book for my bookshelf. This will definitely be a re-read for me.
5 ripping-my-guts-out-in-the-right-way stars from me.