511 Things Only Women Understand

by Lorraine Bodger

Men just don't get it. All women know that there are numerous truths in life that their boyfriends, husbands, fathers, sons, and brothers simply don't understand. Author-illustrator Lorraine Bodger reveals more than 500 riveting bits of women's knowledge, guaranteed to make both men and women laugh and nod their heads in recognition. 511 Things Only Women Understand is a celebration of the funny, smart, and unquestionably female sensibility.What do women understand' Why a woman cannot have too many pairs of black slacks. That if he says he doesn't deserve you, he probably doesn't. And if he says you're too good for him, you probably are. The ecstasy of still fitting into your wedding dress ten years later. That it is a very serious offense to get in a ten-items-only express line with more than twelve items. That marrying you does not automatically excuse a man from courting you. The alarming difference between 120 pounds and 121 pounds.Lorraine Bodger's newest book provides an outrageously funny gift for any occasion.

Genres: Nonfiction, Humor

Paperback

First published April 3, 2001

Reviews

[Evan · Rating 1 out of 5]

Make it 512: Why they like this book.
OK, so I rescued this from the bookstore trash. Started reading it on the toilet. Found little in it so far that I haven't heard before. Any dude who has lived with a woman as long as I have finds little of this revelatory. It's all mildly amusing, very mildly. But, really, we've known this stuff since the dawn of humanity, eg., women like to shop. Try pawning that off as a piquant observation to someone/anyone 100,000 years ago when women gathered flowers and sticks and nuts and berries. The readership that this is aimed at -- some/most women -- will get the preaching-to-the-choir tome that they deserve. Reading vomitously cutesy stuff like this almost makes me yearn for the not-so-warm-and-fuzzy days of strident feminism. The little tidbits in here might make for nice calendar sayings, but it's real puff as a book. One thing I certainly will never understand is why every woman who has rated this book here on GR has given it four and five stars. I wonder where that leaves Toni Morrison or Alice Walker or Jane Austen or Harper Lee, since a 6-star option is not offered. I suppose I could jot off a book, 511 Things Only Dudes Understand, and yet a good deal of it would apply to some -- not all -- men. Is this book suggesting that all women share a monolithic head of universal sisterly thought? About half of the gems in this seem to be about why it's OK for a woman to do something but for a guy not to. Must be nice.

[Aimee Massey · Rating 1 out of 5]

I don't even want to know how much this woman got paid for writing this book, or rather, for cobbling together 511 commonly known facts, done-to-death cliches, and sweeping generalizations and putting them together into something about a quarter-inch deep at its depest and lacking the humor or originality to even be a good bathroom read.
If a man had put this together he'd get some part of his anatomy handed to him on a plate.
#512: A woman can deal in tired stereotypes and receive far less fallout than a man, even if she is writing for and about other women.

[Denise Hatcher · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a fun and quick read which lists some of the ways men and women are different. My favorite was 464 which explains, “That we’re rarely paid what we’re worth. There probably isn’t enough money in the Department of the Treasurey to cover the tab.” Yes, men and women are different, and this book is a fun reminder of 511 of those differences.

[Najmah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun and quick read that every woman can relate to. Such as; "When Men ask for your advice, and then don't take it." This book shares viewpoints that every female has faced at some point.

[Mihai Stefania · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some are good advices, some are just dumb🤣🙈

[Cat. · Rating 2 out of 5]

I've been reading this off and on for 8 months, and finally just finished it. It's really only a list, over 250 pages of things "women know." OK, but nothing spectacular. It's the typical "feel good about being a woman in superficial ways" shtick.

For instance, the last page says:

509
How to share a secret.
And how to keep one.

510
How to listen for the story behind the story.

511
How to be perfect.

I understand tongue-in-cheek, but really now...

There are some good ones, ones I can relate to: "The impossibility of getting in and out of the backseat of a two-door car gracefully" and "That a Mother's Day gift, though nice, is only a small drop in a very large bucket."

Then there are the "huh??" ones, like these (and number 511 above): "Taking a month to find the right shoes and handbag" and "Why it takes a minimum of five products to make up your face."

Please. I've checked: I'm a woman. I don't understand those last two either.