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Sex, Lies & Nikolai
Poverty is a bitch, and life isn’t a fairytale.
College was never in my cards.
Jobs will never come easy to find.
There is no Prince Charming itching to rescue me.I’m completely alone, destitute and destined to struggle until the end of my days.
Destined to be sucked into a world of debt because as much as I’m pushing away the only option that sits in front of me, it’s truly the only one I Nikolai is my only hope.
Problem is, he's a dangerous Russian with a questionable past, and I find out soon enough just how far I must go to earn his help.
**Recommended for mature readers.**
College was never in my cards.
Jobs will never come easy to find.
There is no Prince Charming itching to rescue me.I’m completely alone, destitute and destined to struggle until the end of my days.
Destined to be sucked into a world of debt because as much as I’m pushing away the only option that sits in front of me, it’s truly the only one I Nikolai is my only hope.
Problem is, he's a dangerous Russian with a questionable past, and I find out soon enough just how far I must go to earn his help.
**Recommended for mature readers.**
383 pages, Paperback
Published May 24, 2023
130 people are currently reading
1123 people want to read
About the author
R.J. Lewis
33 books3,021 followersNew York Times and USA Today bestseller, R.J. Lewis, is the number one bestselling author of the Ignite series, the Loving Lawson series, the Borden series, and numerous other titles. She has been writing all her life and looks forward to sharing her stories with readers who are interested in character growth and romance of the unconventional kind.
For news on upcoming books, you can follow her on:
WEBSITE: http://www.authorrjlewis.com/
FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/rj.lewis13
EMAIL: at rj.lewis@outlook.com.
MAILING LIST: http://eepurl.com/hi76Zb
INSTAGRAM: author.rjlewis
Nothing makes her happier than hearing back from readers!
For news on upcoming books, you can follow her on:
WEBSITE: http://www.authorrjlewis.com/
FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/rj.lewis13
EMAIL: at rj.lewis@outlook.com.
MAILING LIST: http://eepurl.com/hi76Zb
INSTAGRAM: author.rjlewis
Nothing makes her happier than hearing back from readers!
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 216 reviews
October 13, 2016
As usual, R.J. Lewis delivered a great story! I love dark romances. Captivity, coercion and blackmail are the types of themes that have me making one-click purchases. When I read the blurb for this book, I knew it'd be right up my alley.
'Sex, Lies & Nikolai' proved to be "softer" than I'd anticipated, while still conveying the bleakness of Alina's situation. Struggling to survive from one day to the next, Alina is forced to take drastic measures when her junkie mother robs her blind and abandons Alina and her younger sister. Without food to feed Scarlett or money to pay the bills, Alina turns to Nikolai Sokolov for a loan.
Nikolai has had a thing for Alina for quite some time. When she comes to him in need of money, he's not interested in giving her a loan. He's only interested in using her situation to get what he's always wanted--her underneath him.
Nikolai sees no reason to make it more than what it is. She needs money. He needs her in his bed. It's a win-win. He doesn't want to know her story. He doesn't want to get involved.
Lower than she's ever been before, and without any other way out of her life of abject poverty, Alina reluctantly agrees to be Nikolai's whore. She forces herself to swallow her pride and give up a piece of herself. She'd do whatever it takes to take care of Scarlett.
Despite the business-like agreement between the two, their relationship had a great deal of tenderness. From the start, Nikolai is concerned and protective, even while proposing such a cold arrangement. It was obvious that he cared more than he wanted to.
Predictably, the two develop feelings for each other. Their arrangement serves as a cover in many ways, allowing them to maintain a relationship without owning their feelings. The closer they get, the more they try to resist the pull.
Of course, there is plenty of danger. Between her mother's unpaid debts and her own missteps, Alina has drawn the attention of some dangerous characters. Nikolai also leads a life of danger, even if he has toned it down since leaving the bratva behind.
Overall, this was a great story. It was predictable and, at times, slow-moving, but still worth a read. I enjoyed this straightforward romance. If you're looking for a story to get lost in for a while, without having to think too much, this is a terrific choice. It isn't one that will change your life, but it is a nice way to pass some time.
'Sex, Lies & Nikolai' proved to be "softer" than I'd anticipated, while still conveying the bleakness of Alina's situation. Struggling to survive from one day to the next, Alina is forced to take drastic measures when her junkie mother robs her blind and abandons Alina and her younger sister. Without food to feed Scarlett or money to pay the bills, Alina turns to Nikolai Sokolov for a loan.
Nikolai has had a thing for Alina for quite some time. When she comes to him in need of money, he's not interested in giving her a loan. He's only interested in using her situation to get what he's always wanted--her underneath him.
Nikolai sees no reason to make it more than what it is. She needs money. He needs her in his bed. It's a win-win. He doesn't want to know her story. He doesn't want to get involved.
Lower than she's ever been before, and without any other way out of her life of abject poverty, Alina reluctantly agrees to be Nikolai's whore. She forces herself to swallow her pride and give up a piece of herself. She'd do whatever it takes to take care of Scarlett.
Despite the business-like agreement between the two, their relationship had a great deal of tenderness. From the start, Nikolai is concerned and protective, even while proposing such a cold arrangement. It was obvious that he cared more than he wanted to.
Predictably, the two develop feelings for each other. Their arrangement serves as a cover in many ways, allowing them to maintain a relationship without owning their feelings. The closer they get, the more they try to resist the pull.
Of course, there is plenty of danger. Between her mother's unpaid debts and her own missteps, Alina has drawn the attention of some dangerous characters. Nikolai also leads a life of danger, even if he has toned it down since leaving the bratva behind.
Overall, this was a great story. It was predictable and, at times, slow-moving, but still worth a read. I enjoyed this straightforward romance. If you're looking for a story to get lost in for a while, without having to think too much, this is a terrific choice. It isn't one that will change your life, but it is a nice way to pass some time.
August 25, 2016
4 STARS
R.J. Lewis delivers a solid read in the heart of poor area our heroine works in a deli type store where the dangerous and sexy Russian, Nikolai Sokolov is the only thing interesting in her life.
Alina’s mother is a junkie and is completely unreliable and so she is her five year old sister’s only source of love and money. When her mother leaves Alina doesn’t have many options before they are thrown onto the streets. She decides to approach Nikolia for a loan but what she gets is a proposition instead.
“I am nobody. I have nothing. And when you’re stuck in a rut like I am, wanting to earn your way out isn’t so you can impress anybody, it’s a statement to yourself.”
I enjoyed the push and pull between these two characters as Alina falls for Nikolai and at times they are very sexy together.
”It’s not wrong to like it, Alina. Let go.”
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The story wraps up with a sweet ending for the couple and made for a good read overall.
R.J. Lewis delivers a solid read in the heart of poor area our heroine works in a deli type store where the dangerous and sexy Russian, Nikolai Sokolov is the only thing interesting in her life.
Alina’s mother is a junkie and is completely unreliable and so she is her five year old sister’s only source of love and money. When her mother leaves Alina doesn’t have many options before they are thrown onto the streets. She decides to approach Nikolia for a loan but what she gets is a proposition instead.
“I am nobody. I have nothing. And when you’re stuck in a rut like I am, wanting to earn your way out isn’t so you can impress anybody, it’s a statement to yourself.”
I enjoyed the push and pull between these two characters as Alina falls for Nikolai and at times they are very sexy together.
”It’s not wrong to like it, Alina. Let go.”
[image error]
The story wraps up with a sweet ending for the couple and made for a good read overall.
July 31, 2017
3 Stars
Overall Opinion: This was ok. I liked it more than I thought I would, but the abrupt ending really ruined it for me. There was not nearly enough time with them as an actual couple and them not hiding their feelings/desires for an actual relationship. It was like they danced around each other, had their "arrangement" , then they love each other and get HEA epilogue. There wasn't much in between. We also got some time jumps between them living together and the epilogue that I think would've been valuable not to have, because that is where we would see how they function as an actual couple (and not f-buddies).
Brief Summary of the Storyline: This is Alina and Nikolai's story. Nikolai had been coming into the convenience store that Alina works in every morning for a long time, and that little interaction between them has been the highlight of her day. Alina's mom ends up leaving her and her 5 year old sister after stealing all of their money, and leaves her in a desperate position. She ends up going to Nikolai who is a well known and feared loan shark for a loan. He denies her, but they eventually come to an arrangement of sorts. That arrangement turns into more as stronger feelings develop and they fall in love. There is some family, friend, and acquaintance drama as well as some sexy times...and they get a HEA ending.
POV: This alternated between Alina and Nikolai's POV.
Overall Pace of Story: Good until the end. I never skimmed, and I thought it flowed well. The ending was just WAY too abrupt for me! I felt like there had to be another book or something when I noticed that I was at 90ish%, but sadly it just jumped into an epilogue HEA.
Instalove: No. They've kind of known each other for a long time.
H rating: 3 stars. Nikolai. He was a mysterious bad guy, but he was also all about the h (even when he was in denial about it).
h rating: 4 stars. Alina. I liked her. She was loyal, strong, and she knew when she needed to let go of her pride (and when to hold on to it).
Sadness level: Low/moderate. I teared up a few times because of the bad situations the h was in (especially in regards to her sister).
Push/Pull: Yes
Heat level: Moderate. They have some hot chemistry and scenes.
Descriptive sex: Yes.
Safe sex: Kind of. The H had a vasectomy, but I don't remember any mention of std status or previous practices between them.
OW/OM drama: No (see below spoiler)
Sex scene with OW or OM: No
Cheating: No
Separation: No
Possible Triggers: Yes
Closure: This had kind of an abrupt ending, but a cute jump ahead epilogue (2 years later) where I would say (reluctantly) that they got a HEA ending
How I got it: I got it with my kindle unlimited subscription.
Safety: I'd say that this is probably either Safe or Safe with exception for most readers depending on personal preferences.
Overall Opinion: This was ok. I liked it more than I thought I would, but the abrupt ending really ruined it for me. There was not nearly enough time with them as an actual couple and them not hiding their feelings/desires for an actual relationship. It was like they danced around each other, had their "arrangement" , then they love each other and get HEA epilogue. There wasn't much in between. We also got some time jumps between them living together and the epilogue that I think would've been valuable not to have, because that is where we would see how they function as an actual couple (and not f-buddies).
Brief Summary of the Storyline: This is Alina and Nikolai's story. Nikolai had been coming into the convenience store that Alina works in every morning for a long time, and that little interaction between them has been the highlight of her day. Alina's mom ends up leaving her and her 5 year old sister after stealing all of their money, and leaves her in a desperate position. She ends up going to Nikolai who is a well known and feared loan shark for a loan. He denies her, but they eventually come to an arrangement of sorts. That arrangement turns into more as stronger feelings develop and they fall in love. There is some family, friend, and acquaintance drama as well as some sexy times...and they get a HEA ending.
POV: This alternated between Alina and Nikolai's POV.
Overall Pace of Story: Good until the end. I never skimmed, and I thought it flowed well. The ending was just WAY too abrupt for me! I felt like there had to be another book or something when I noticed that I was at 90ish%, but sadly it just jumped into an epilogue HEA.
Instalove: No. They've kind of known each other for a long time.
H rating: 3 stars. Nikolai. He was a mysterious bad guy, but he was also all about the h (even when he was in denial about it).
h rating: 4 stars. Alina. I liked her. She was loyal, strong, and she knew when she needed to let go of her pride (and when to hold on to it).
Sadness level: Low/moderate. I teared up a few times because of the bad situations the h was in (especially in regards to her sister).
Push/Pull: Yes
Heat level: Moderate. They have some hot chemistry and scenes.
Descriptive sex: Yes.
Safe sex: Kind of. The H had a vasectomy, but I don't remember any mention of std status or previous practices between them.
OW/OM drama: No (see below spoiler)
Sex scene with OW or OM: No
Cheating: No
Separation: No
Possible Triggers: Yes
Closure: This had kind of an abrupt ending, but a cute jump ahead epilogue (2 years later) where I would say (reluctantly) that they got a HEA ending
How I got it: I got it with my kindle unlimited subscription.
Safety: I'd say that this is probably either Safe or Safe with exception for most readers depending on personal preferences.
July 3, 2023
MY REVIEW AND OTHERS can also be found on my blog: ╰┈➤KITTY KATS CRAZY ABOUT BOOKS
ღ 𝐒𝐄𝐗, 𝐋𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐍𝐈𝐊𝐎𝐋𝐀𝐈 ღ Is a full length romance book by R.J. Lewis. Spoken in 'dual perspectives.' In this you'll meet HERO: Nikolai HEROINE: Alina & 5 year old Scarlett
After seeing the friends I follow religiously on here rate this highly, I too took that plunge and jumped on this. And OMG I’m so glad I did! I loved these two! Both were so relatable, the storyline just hooked me in, and honestly I was sad when it ended. This pulled on my heart strings like it was playing the violin.
He was a man obsessed, she dreamed of a better life.
Alina wasn't your typical twenty-two year old, living life to the fullest, partying and enjoying life, no she was the girl with the world on her shoulders, barely making ends meet at her local convenience store, to not only feed herself but her sister of five, who you could easily say was more her child than the mother who'd bred her.
Living in poverty with a junky mother who stole every last saving of Alina's and skips town, Alina is at her wits end and the only person she can think of to get her out of this dire situation she's found herself in is Nikolai, the owner of a pawn shop, the armani wearing hot guy who regularly comes into the store to buy orange juice or the odd packet of cigarettes.
Nikolai has had a thing for Alina for quite some time, she's his new obsession. So when she comes to him for help he refuses to give her a loan but comes up with another alternative. A win win situation for the both of them.
After reading this and inhaling it I really need to read others by this author.
August 16, 2016
I'm not sure where to start with my review of this book on one level it's a dark depressing read Alina is twenty-two and her life is bleak, every minute of every day is a struggle she was born and raised in abject poverty and there's no way out, she struggles to earn enough to cover the bills and rent, she's always hungry and looks like a junkie. Her mother is an alcoholic and totally unreliable leaving Alina to look after her five year old sister Scarlett.
To say her life is depressing is a huge understatement, because she's destitute it makes for a dark read and if I'm being totally honest if I'd known before hand exactly what this book was like I would have skipped past it, that's not to say it's not a completely mesmerising read because it is I was glued to every page but while I generally don't like this kind of book (I find life can be depressing enough as it is I usually like a lighter romance or darker in a different way) it was saved or should I say made by the characters. Alina is strong, how she copes with the weight of the world on her young shoulders I just don't know, it's made her hard and wary in a way a twenty-two year old girl should never be.
Nikolai is a tortured soul he's been through so much and his story is slowly revealed as we read, I loved Nikolai from the first moment we meet him, I really wanted these two to survive and flourish together but I didn't know if this was that kind of book, but I hoped.
Alina and Nikolai are believable characters, there's depth, development and suffering, Scarlett is adorable as the young child far too aware of the world and emotions of people around her.
Only real problem was the editing, mostly it's small mistakes but annoying like this:
....settling on the white flowy skirt I sort of hoped he’d see me in.
I run my sweaty hands over my shorts when he parks the car....
....as he flips my skirt over my hips....
She takes the shorts from me this time and slides them on herself.
This is one day, she never changes clothes yet she starts the day wearing a skirt then she's in shorts then back to a skirt then ends up in shorts.
November 29, 2023
Love this so much. Will properly review this. It is everything.
July 1, 2023
5 stars!
"Broken people find beauty in chaos."Loved it so hard! Two damaged characters finding each other and becoming better people for it, there's no better trope in my eyes. 😍😍
December 3, 2023
Going straight to my Keeper Shelf, I devoured this story too fast, I know I’m going to have to read it again to catch bits I might have missed.
This was a dark story, yet extremely heartwarming all the same 🥰 I can’t wait to check out other books by this author.
Our hero, Nikolai, is a former member of the Russian mafia. He has had a rough childhood, raised to be a killer. Determined to do better with his life, he branches out on his own with a few of his cousins/buddies. He has a formidable reputation that follows him, but he really was a thoughtful, caring tough guy hero. And yes he was obsessive and possessive, but it wasn’t ridiculous and OTT like in so many motorcycle club stories. I found this hero, Nikolai, to be realistic and easy to root for.
The heroine, Alina, was a tough cookie. Normally I don’t like when heroines are hard-eyed and tough as nails, but with how her home-life and childhood is shown to us, her personality and insecurities made perfect sense. We see her grow, let down her walls, how she would understand immediately when she’s being a bitch and apologize and… slowly learn to trust and love.
The bad people were total creeps, and thankfully we get to see them dealt with appropriately (without police involvement 😃).
Very spicy, steamy love scenes… but I found them to be so much more emotional than the average uber spicy stories. Totally full of losing control (especially him), raw emotions and good feels.
There were several Russian words thru out the book, which I was excited to already understand. The one that tripped me up though, was his nickname for her. Rybka = little fish. It’s hard for me to read Russian written in the English alphabet sometimes. Others were: Durak = dork, Kotyonok = little kitten, and Lapochka = sweetheart/sweetie pie.
This was a dark story, yet extremely heartwarming all the same 🥰 I can’t wait to check out other books by this author.
Our hero, Nikolai, is a former member of the Russian mafia. He has had a rough childhood, raised to be a killer. Determined to do better with his life, he branches out on his own with a few of his cousins/buddies. He has a formidable reputation that follows him, but he really was a thoughtful, caring tough guy hero. And yes he was obsessive and possessive, but it wasn’t ridiculous and OTT like in so many motorcycle club stories. I found this hero, Nikolai, to be realistic and easy to root for.
The heroine, Alina, was a tough cookie. Normally I don’t like when heroines are hard-eyed and tough as nails, but with how her home-life and childhood is shown to us, her personality and insecurities made perfect sense. We see her grow, let down her walls, how she would understand immediately when she’s being a bitch and apologize and… slowly learn to trust and love.
The bad people were total creeps, and thankfully we get to see them dealt with appropriately (without police involvement 😃).
Very spicy, steamy love scenes… but I found them to be so much more emotional than the average uber spicy stories. Totally full of losing control (especially him), raw emotions and good feels.
There were several Russian words thru out the book, which I was excited to already understand. The one that tripped me up though, was his nickname for her. Rybka = little fish. It’s hard for me to read Russian written in the English alphabet sometimes. Others were: Durak = dork, Kotyonok = little kitten, and Lapochka = sweetheart/sweetie pie.
June 26, 2023
I’m in love with this story!
The author wrote the most sad and beautiful story! The characters were strong, and made for each other.
It’s worth the reading.
The author wrote the most sad and beautiful story! The characters were strong, and made for each other.
It’s worth the reading.
July 5, 2023
I forced myself to practice self control while reading this, instead of inhaling like I usually do, I just read few chapters at a time. I could get lost in this world. Abuse of any kind is always horrifying to read. So please, if it is a trigger for you. Proceed with caution.
June 30, 2023
❝my pride is all i have left!❞ i retort, my voice breaking as i glare at him. ❝it’s all i have, okay? i am a nobody. i have nothing. and when you’re stuck in a rut like i am, wanting to earn your way out isn’t so you can impress anybody, it’s a statement to yourself.❞
find.
me.
a shady.
jewelry.
store.
owner.
like.
nikolai.
pls & thank you.
👏✨😌
August 13, 2016
I love all of R.J. Lewis's books... and this one is no different.
That's all I'm gonna say.
5 stars!
That's all I'm gonna say.
5 stars!
April 25, 2022
3.5 Stars
This was basically a Cinderella story with some paid sex thrown in. I might have enjoyed it more if I hadn't read Captive first (which I loved), since I couldn't help comparing them.
Both feature a poor heroine who is somewhat “difficult” (for understandable reasons) and had some emotional growing up to do. Nikolai was somewhat reminiscent of Captive’s Nixon in that he had ties to organized crime and was a “bad” guy with a soft spot for the heroine. He could be unexpectedly vulnerable and I really liked that.
I found the story a bit predictable but I still enjoyed it overall.
*Mild Spoiler* (not really much of a spoiler since you find out very early on) but the heroine is basically mother to her five-year-old sister; if you don’t like single parent romance, this has the same kind of vibe. I don’t go out of my way to read single parent romance and I didn’t expect that dynamic going into this book, but I think it was important to the plotline.
This was basically a Cinderella story with some paid sex thrown in. I might have enjoyed it more if I hadn't read Captive first (which I loved), since I couldn't help comparing them.
Both feature a poor heroine who is somewhat “difficult” (for understandable reasons) and had some emotional growing up to do. Nikolai was somewhat reminiscent of Captive’s Nixon in that he had ties to organized crime and was a “bad” guy with a soft spot for the heroine. He could be unexpectedly vulnerable and I really liked that.
I found the story a bit predictable but I still enjoyed it overall.
*Mild Spoiler* (not really much of a spoiler since you find out very early on) but the heroine is basically mother to her five-year-old sister; if you don’t like single parent romance, this has the same kind of vibe. I don’t go out of my way to read single parent romance and I didn’t expect that dynamic going into this book, but I think it was important to the plotline.
Read
August 17, 2016Another one added to my DNF shelf that I tried and tried to finish but couldn't. Alina grated my nerves so damn bad. At 66% I'm waving the white flag. Ugh! Usually I love RJ Lewis but this one didn't work for me:(
December 14, 2025
Suffered from 'previous book too shiny' syndrome?
After a sweet, clean read, I was craving something darker, but I think this was more 'film noir gritty' than 'dark romance'.
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🕮⋆˚࿔✎𓂃 𝐣𝐨𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰
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After a sweet, clean read, I was craving something darker, but I think this was more 'film noir gritty' than 'dark romance'.
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🕮⋆˚࿔✎𓂃 𝐣𝐨𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰
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February 3, 2017
I can't get enough of R.J Lewis's books. Every time I think that she can't get any better, she surpasses my expectations.
The real life struggels weaved with just the right amount of danger, with an added touch of sinister characters and an unlikely budding romance make for a great story.
I know that Nikolai is a fictional character, doesn't mean i can stop dreaming. I want that man for breakfast, lunch, dinner and everything in between!
I lock eyes with the woman that’s been plaguing my thoughts for eighteen months.
Alina.
My chest sinks slowly. Without keeping my eyes off her, I nod at the bouncer and he lets her through.
The first thing I noticed about Alina the first time I saw her that morning eighteen months ago was her hair. Long, wavy, golden blonde and striking against her tan skin. She’d had her back turned to me, and the way that hair fell and framed her tiny waist, made me pause at the door.
I stand behind the counter of the convenience store and watch him enter. His blue eyes meet mine for a fraction of a second, enough to make my spine tingle and my cheeks heat, and then he looks away and moves down the aisle of the tiny store. I watch him because I have nothing to do, and because he is the most intriguing man I have ever seen.
August 3, 2023
“Did you like when I slapped your ass?” he breathes, hissing at the way I pump him harder. I make a sound at the back of my throat. “Yeah? You liked when I hurt your round little ass? You know how red it went, Alina? It was fucking sexy. I wanted to slap you again and again ‘til you came in my mouth, flooding my tongue with your sweet come.”
When I saw the year this book came out I fully expected a classic dark romance trope. Detached hero, innocent damsel in distress with push and pull, some light Bdsm and very boring by the end.
I was so wrong! This story has been so unexpected and so mother fing romantic! You know those intimate scenes where your hearing goes out and you become transported in the moment? Every single one. I held my breath at their kisses and blushed at Nikolai’s take charge demeanor. I haven’t had that happen in such a long time.
They don’t immediately fall in love. Far from it and if I had to choose who falls first, it’s not who you assume.
“Broken people find beauty in chaos. It’s a perk, and it’s landed you me so be grateful of all my brokenness.”
This story has all of the triggers: SA, food insecurity, poverty, domestic violence, theft, parental addiction, organized crime, child abuse and the list goes on so read carefully.
This book flew by for me and I didn’t want it to end. When your favorite reviewers give five stars I guess it’s my sign to read it!
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥/ 5
💕💕💕 💕/ 5
😳😳😳😳/ 5
😂/ 5
When I saw the year this book came out I fully expected a classic dark romance trope. Detached hero, innocent damsel in distress with push and pull, some light Bdsm and very boring by the end.
I was so wrong! This story has been so unexpected and so mother fing romantic! You know those intimate scenes where your hearing goes out and you become transported in the moment? Every single one. I held my breath at their kisses and blushed at Nikolai’s take charge demeanor. I haven’t had that happen in such a long time.
They don’t immediately fall in love. Far from it and if I had to choose who falls first, it’s not who you assume.
“Broken people find beauty in chaos. It’s a perk, and it’s landed you me so be grateful of all my brokenness.”
This story has all of the triggers: SA, food insecurity, poverty, domestic violence, theft, parental addiction, organized crime, child abuse and the list goes on so read carefully.
This book flew by for me and I didn’t want it to end. When your favorite reviewers give five stars I guess it’s my sign to read it!
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥/ 5
💕💕💕 💕/ 5
😳😳😳😳/ 5
😂/ 5
gave-the-fuck-up
September 1, 2016GTFU @ 75%
Sorry I just kept waiting for an actual storyline that didn't involve her screwing him and feeling like a whore afterward but still taking his money....
Sorry I just kept waiting for an actual storyline that didn't involve her screwing him and feeling like a whore afterward but still taking his money....
October 22, 2016
3.5 stars
Sex, Lies & Nikolai was an ok read for me. I really wanted to love it because I did love Nikolai and Alina. I understood Alina's issues and my heart broke for her situation. I loved them together, but I guess for me I just needed more. So much was centered around the arrangement that I think by the time it turned around it was to late in the story. I did love the HEA because hey I'm that kind of girl. I will definitely read more from this author because I do love her stories.
Sex, Lies & Nikolai was an ok read for me. I really wanted to love it because I did love Nikolai and Alina. I understood Alina's issues and my heart broke for her situation. I loved them together, but I guess for me I just needed more. So much was centered around the arrangement that I think by the time it turned around it was to late in the story. I did love the HEA because hey I'm that kind of girl. I will definitely read more from this author because I do love her stories.
June 17, 2025
4 emotional ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
There is an undeniable beauty, woven into this story. At the same time, it takes you for a plunge, head first, into the morally grey depths, of how far we will go, for human survival. It’s not the usual Mafia Romance.
It’s also not a light read. It took me a while, and I could only do bits at a time. It’s bleak, albeit a beautiful love story between Nikolai and Alina. Nikolai, former Bratva, meets Alina, who is pushed to the brink of despair by life. Her mother abandoned Alina and her younger sister and every day is a fight to survive. Survive starvation, violence, exploitation.
Alina agrees to have sex with Nikolai for money, but is already emotionally invested. As a reader you understand her decision, she does not have another way to survive. Principles are a luxury for her. It isn’t clearly stated how old she is, her sister is 5, so I gather she is fairly young too. She is at least 18, I would assume as she already provides for the household.
Nikolai and Alina clearly dance around feelings for each other early on, and the relationship is very beautiful to watch unfold. He is so well written, nuanced, dark and a real antihero, and yet I literally trusted him through the whole story, it was Alina I was worried about.
Did her mother leave them, out of the same despair she now experiences? Was it generational trauma that will repeat time and time again? And should we forgive her mother now that we understand the hardship? Personally I say NO, I also think it’s harsh to judge a woman’s choices, when you are at the bottom of the food chain. Except Alina breaks the cycle and does what she can to survive and make a better life for her sister ❤️
Why 4⭐️ and not 5⭐️, it’s a me thing, it was too hard at times, and it’s told in first person, so I was in her head a lot. I am an empath. I could feel her trauma, and it wasn’t a fun playground to dabble in. It’s a beautiful story with a lot of important messages. It probably deserves 5⭐️ I need to shed some of the darkness and I might revisit.
If you made it this far, it’s definitely not a palate cleanser! But a main course.
Should you read it? Oh yes, definitely.
P.s. I fear the title will dissuade people from reading this, don’t be discouraged.
There is an undeniable beauty, woven into this story. At the same time, it takes you for a plunge, head first, into the morally grey depths, of how far we will go, for human survival. It’s not the usual Mafia Romance.
It’s also not a light read. It took me a while, and I could only do bits at a time. It’s bleak, albeit a beautiful love story between Nikolai and Alina. Nikolai, former Bratva, meets Alina, who is pushed to the brink of despair by life. Her mother abandoned Alina and her younger sister and every day is a fight to survive. Survive starvation, violence, exploitation.
Alina agrees to have sex with Nikolai for money, but is already emotionally invested. As a reader you understand her decision, she does not have another way to survive. Principles are a luxury for her. It isn’t clearly stated how old she is, her sister is 5, so I gather she is fairly young too. She is at least 18, I would assume as she already provides for the household.
Nikolai and Alina clearly dance around feelings for each other early on, and the relationship is very beautiful to watch unfold. He is so well written, nuanced, dark and a real antihero, and yet I literally trusted him through the whole story, it was Alina I was worried about.
Did her mother leave them, out of the same despair she now experiences? Was it generational trauma that will repeat time and time again? And should we forgive her mother now that we understand the hardship? Personally I say NO, I also think it’s harsh to judge a woman’s choices, when you are at the bottom of the food chain. Except Alina breaks the cycle and does what she can to survive and make a better life for her sister ❤️
Why 4⭐️ and not 5⭐️, it’s a me thing, it was too hard at times, and it’s told in first person, so I was in her head a lot. I am an empath. I could feel her trauma, and it wasn’t a fun playground to dabble in. It’s a beautiful story with a lot of important messages. It probably deserves 5⭐️ I need to shed some of the darkness and I might revisit.
If you made it this far, it’s definitely not a palate cleanser! But a main course.
Should you read it? Oh yes, definitely.
P.s. I fear the title will dissuade people from reading this, don’t be discouraged.
February 11, 2017
"The best of the best" This was a beautiful love story between two very damaged people. I cried and cried and then cried some more over the tragic situation Alina and her little sister Scarlett had to endure. Hungry and poor, working so hard trying to make ends meet when those ends were growing longer by the minute. Little Scarlett wearing shoes that were to small causing blisters on her feet. It literally broke my heart. Nikolai has not had a easy life either. Being a ruthless killer for the Russian mafia has left him scarred, broken and empty. He sees his ruin and salvation in Alina and when the two come together it's fucking mind-blowing!! The sex and emotion between the two was potent and intoxicating. You know when you read so many books you tend to forget what they are about? Well I won't be forgetting this one anytime soon. There's not enough adjectives to describe how much I loved this damn book!!!!!!!
August 23, 2016
RJ Lewis is just that author that never ever let's me down. I can always count on her books for pretty much anything.
I LOVED this book! I was completely clued to my kindle for hours. There's a lot of truth to her words in This story, and knowing it had some personal references to her past made it more real and devastating, but just as addictive as ever.
RJ writes the most addicting characters. I love them, I hate them. I'm confused, happy, She takes you on these rides and this book was know different.
If your looking for a book that is steamy, addicting, and just heart pounding good look no further.
I LOVED this book! I was completely clued to my kindle for hours. There's a lot of truth to her words in This story, and knowing it had some personal references to her past made it more real and devastating, but just as addictive as ever.
RJ writes the most addicting characters. I love them, I hate them. I'm confused, happy, She takes you on these rides and this book was know different.
If your looking for a book that is steamy, addicting, and just heart pounding good look no further.
July 20, 2023
very childish play hard to get heroine. hero and heroine loves to play mouse and cat, who’s gonna give in first.
3.5 stars rounded up
3.5 stars rounded up
Read
August 27, 2024DNF at 48%
The back and forth between these two is so annoying.
He’s obsessed with her, she’s intrigued by him. Her mom takes all her money and leaves her and her little sister. She goes to Nikolai and asks for a loan because he’s a loan shark. Nikolai says no. She begs. He says no again. He comes to her later on and is basically like “I’ll pay you to be my whore” she’s so offended she’s like I don’t wanna be your whore I just want a loan like everyone else. He says no. Later he sees how she’s living and feels bad so he’s like fine, I’ll give you a loan. And what does this girl say? No, I don’t want a loan. I want to be your whore!! Omg how frustrating. Had to stop there.
The back and forth between these two is so annoying.
He’s obsessed with her, she’s intrigued by him. Her mom takes all her money and leaves her and her little sister. She goes to Nikolai and asks for a loan because he’s a loan shark. Nikolai says no. She begs. He says no again. He comes to her later on and is basically like “I’ll pay you to be my whore” she’s so offended she’s like I don’t wanna be your whore I just want a loan like everyone else. He says no. Later he sees how she’s living and feels bad so he’s like fine, I’ll give you a loan. And what does this girl say? No, I don’t want a loan. I want to be your whore!! Omg how frustrating. Had to stop there.
August 12, 2016
I'm sitting here after reading this book straight for six hours and I am just speechless right now.
I don't have the words right now. The raw emotion just screamed from the pages and I cried about a dozen times. It's not an emotional kind of read that will exhaust you. It's the kind of crying when you feel connected to another person, like watching a family member go thru hell and not being able to do anything about it. That was alina for me. I've never read a story where I was so hooked on the heroine instead of the hero. not that Nikolai wasn't worth reading because DAMN that man was something else with his silent possessiveness (that observing kind that is in control of his emotions but inside he's a wreck). But Alina and her love for Scarlett and the obstacles she had to overcome and the way she did it with such a strong head about her. There was no one tstl moment with her. I especially loved the lengths she went not to turn to Nikolai (the bar scene) and how even in those dire moments she never took the criminal route.
There were moments you just went wow...the desperation was written so realistically, and in the end you realize why it felt that way. the author leaves a note talking about how she went thru similar situations. it made a lot of sense.
the sex scenes were great. they weren't just filler sex scenes either. every single one of them was important to the story and I don't want to give away the story line but you'll understand when you read it. you see it go from sex to something more very gradually and I loved that.
there was rj's signature humor, the sarcasm, that wtf moment that made me scratch my head at times.
Truly I loved it. Thank you rj
August 14, 2016
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Beware of Spoilers!
Star Ratings:
Heroine (Alina): 22yrs old
Hero (Nicolai): late 20s?
Plot: 5/5
Grovel: none needed
Cheating: none
HEA: yes!
Triggers: child abuse (no explicit details)
Average score: 5/5
Best Line: “I refuse to be a sad story passed along and torn apart.”
Worst Line: “You’re officially a whore, Alina.”
Personal Review:
This was a terrific emotional romance about a woman trying to support her younger sister with no money and a ex-mafia man who will do anything for the woman.
Random Ramblings:
•Oksana was so dim-witted…losing weight by not talking!
•I loved the h’s relationship with her younger sister
•Wow, the h was so strong and resilient
Overall Feeling:
“Broken people find beauty in chaos.”
Beware of Spoilers!
Star Ratings:
Heroine (Alina): 22yrs old
Hero (Nicolai): late 20s?
Plot: 5/5
Grovel: none needed
Cheating: none
HEA: yes!
Triggers: child abuse (no explicit details)
Average score: 5/5
Best Line: “I refuse to be a sad story passed along and torn apart.”
Worst Line: “You’re officially a whore, Alina.”
Personal Review:
This was a terrific emotional romance about a woman trying to support her younger sister with no money and a ex-mafia man who will do anything for the woman.
Random Ramblings:
•Oksana was so dim-witted…losing weight by not talking!
•I loved the h’s relationship with her younger sister
•Wow, the h was so strong and resilient
Overall Feeling:
“Broken people find beauty in chaos.”
September 4, 2016
RJ Lewis is a natural born story writer. I got so immersed in the story. It felt as if I was there, watching it, feeling the emotions and the struggles. Both the H and h are believable characters with a tortured past, trying to get themselves out their bad situations. Nikolai is very likeable character. He is strong, manages to leave his ex-mafia life behind and really into Alina.
Alina the sole carer of her younger sister Scarlett is trying hard to make ends meet, dirt poor and leaving on scrapes. She is weary and does not trust anyone, all for good reasons. Their relationship is an arrangement which slowly over time turns into much more. I felt H was much more at ease with his feelings for Alina. He is protective and sees through Alina. She on the other hand is far less open about her feelings and her situation.
Overall really enjoyable read.
Alina the sole carer of her younger sister Scarlett is trying hard to make ends meet, dirt poor and leaving on scrapes. She is weary and does not trust anyone, all for good reasons. Their relationship is an arrangement which slowly over time turns into much more. I felt H was much more at ease with his feelings for Alina. He is protective and sees through Alina. She on the other hand is far less open about her feelings and her situation.
Overall really enjoyable read.
September 19, 2016
I'm a huge fan of this author's work!! This one was good just a tad slower than I like. The premise was interesting but given the storyline I wanted just a bit more drama. I look forward to more from Ms. Lewis!!
June 10, 2025
The h works in a convenience store and the H has left the his father’s bratva to own pawn shops and be a loan shark.he comes in the store to buy ok for 1.5 year. When her mother steals all Of her money and abandons the h and her 5yo sister the h goes to Nikolai for a loan. He won’t loan her money but will give her money for sex.This is pretty melancholy.
September 27, 2023
I love everything RJ Lewis, and this is possibly my favourite of all her books, and it's a standalone, (which I think is a first for her), and it's a dual POV which is my favourite. I pretty much read this book in one sitting, I was hooked from the first page. Both Nikolai and Alina appear to be exact opposites, but they have so many similar traits, they are both stubborn, they both lie to themselves and each other, and they are both extremely loyal and passionate. This beautifully written story follows Nikolai (ex Russian mafia and pawn shop owner), and Alina (daughter to a junkie, and primary caregiver to her 5 year old sister), as they strike a beneficial deal to satisfy Nikolai's longstanding lust for Alina and Alina's financial problems. Their "relationship" is super charged, the chemistry is undeniable, and Lewis doesn't leave much to the imagination. Alina struggles with her past issues and she has to deal with some extremely sketchy characters. I was at times left wondering if they would ever get their HEA. Loved this book so much. Full five star recommendation.
I’ve just re-read, via audible, and I’ve got to say narration from Erica Sellers gave me all the feels. Her performance for both Nikolai and Alina was spot on.
I’ve just re-read, via audible, and I’ve got to say narration from Erica Sellers gave me all the feels. Her performance for both Nikolai and Alina was spot on.
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