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Power Moves: Livin’ the American Dream, USA Style
Meet Karl Welzein, aka Captain Karl, aka @DadBoner on Twitter—the Midwest's most beautiful loser Karl Welzein is really lookin' forward to the weekend, you guys. His job is a drag and his wife kicked him out, but that's okay. She wears granny panties and is constantly dropping wads of cash at Target, and his son cries all the time. Now his "temporary" roommate, Dave, ate all the Totino's pizza rolls. Again. Karl Welzein is sick of this. So sick of this. Power Moves chronicles the hilarious decline of Karl Welzein on his journey from life as a Dockers-and-golfshirt-wearing dad to a ponytailed party maniac who spits out his life philosophies like a modern-day Charles Bukowski (if he preferred to get drunk at Applebee's). A middle-aged Michigan native, Karl may be overweight, prone to questionable fashion and culinary choices, oblivious to his drinking problem, a poor excuse for an employee, obsessed with the restroom, and a terrible husband, father, and friend . . . but in his heart he means well. He's just like a lot of us—he loves the USA, Guy Fieri, bold flavors, Bob Seger, and thinking he looks jacked in a tight tee and Maui Jim sunglasses. Karl is an everyman and like no other man on the planet all at once. Inspired by the Twitter feed @DadBoner, Karl finally tells his full story. He shares his wisdom on fitness (1. Look at a pic of Stone Cold Steve Austin. 2. Do 'shups 'til you look like Stone Cold. 3. Cut off your sleeves), diet (Eat only the filling of the Taco Bell Beefy Melts for maximum flavor and low-carb health), fashion (Wearin' boots with jean shorts says "I like to keep cool, but I'm ready if the action gets hot"), work life (If you don't have a job that makes you want to kill yourself, you don't deserve to drink until you want to die), and the bliss of the perfect weekend (beers, brats, and babes' chest beefers). But above all, this is a story about America—the real red, white, and blue America of today. Welcome to Karl's world. Reading this book is the ultimate Power Move.
256 pages, Hardcover
First published July 9, 2013
10 people are currently reading
153 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 29 of 41 reviews
September 11, 2013
This is a collection of Dadboner's tweets from 2010-2011, but written in an easy-to-read diary format. If you like guy humor, you will probably find Karl's stories hilarious. (The Twitter feed is actually written by comedian Mike Burns.) Karl considers himself an average American guy: he hates his job (sick of this), he's separated from his wife (Ann is so boring, you guys), his kids make fun of him, his roommate Dave is gross, and all he wants to do is drink beer and eat some bold flavors. Karl is looking forward to the weekend and is living the bad boy lifestyle. Oh, and he's got a rockin' ponytail and earring.
I started following Dadboner back in 2010, so I already knew the stories. One of my favorite episodes was when he set off fireworks in the apartment as a July 4th prank on Dave. (Kinda concerning?) I also liked his attempts at dieting: He would eat fast-food cheeseburgers, but ditch the bun. Or he'd eat 18 Asian barbecue wings because Asian food is "healthy." And he wonders why his stomach is always upset...
Karl's work stories are also great. He likes to take naps in the toilet stall, or he'll try to scam some chili from a food donation bin. His bumbling efforts at making friends are hilarious.
It was more pleasant to read Karl's antics in book form instead of the 140-character tweets, and it will be nice to have a printed copy that I can share with friends. Keep livin' the American dream, Karl.
Update September 2013: I should warn folks that once you start reading Karl's stories, you will inevitably start imitating his writing style. My husband and I have gotten many a laugh out of responding to things in Dadboner's voice. It really is a clever satire on the redneck American lifestyle. So funny, you guys.
I started following Dadboner back in 2010, so I already knew the stories. One of my favorite episodes was when he set off fireworks in the apartment as a July 4th prank on Dave. (Kinda concerning?) I also liked his attempts at dieting: He would eat fast-food cheeseburgers, but ditch the bun. Or he'd eat 18 Asian barbecue wings because Asian food is "healthy." And he wonders why his stomach is always upset...
Karl's work stories are also great. He likes to take naps in the toilet stall, or he'll try to scam some chili from a food donation bin. His bumbling efforts at making friends are hilarious.
It was more pleasant to read Karl's antics in book form instead of the 140-character tweets, and it will be nice to have a printed copy that I can share with friends. Keep livin' the American dream, Karl.
Update September 2013: I should warn folks that once you start reading Karl's stories, you will inevitably start imitating his writing style. My husband and I have gotten many a laugh out of responding to things in Dadboner's voice. It really is a clever satire on the redneck American lifestyle. So funny, you guys.
October 18, 2013
Guy to guy --
When I found out about Power Moves, it was a definite celebraish situaish. My girlfriend (who gets no complaints in the bod department) pre-ordered it for me, and when I got the notice that it would be delivered to my mailbox, we went all out. Triscuits & mayo, a couple dozen McRibs, 'chos with ALL the fixin's. Full spread, really. I spent all day in the john doin 'shups and drinking tall Crown & Diets to get prepared.
But when I opened the book, I have to say, I was kind of disappointed. Karl on Twitter gets 5 stars; Karl in Power Moves, only 3. Before writing me off as some corncob, let me explain:
First of all, if you've read his old tweets, then this book is simply review. While the format is different, the stories are basically the same. It's still funny but not as much the second time around.
Second, I find the story setups and punchlines are just funnier when delivered in 140 characters. Again, the book format is fine but inferior, pound for pound, to his Twitter feed (which is online and free).
Third, and related to the second point, it can get repetitive. When you read Karl just a handful of tweets at a time, it stays fresh longer than if you sit down and just read through Power Moves.
All that said, if you are into guy humor, you should give this book a read. At the least, put a copy in the john at work and read it while you're gruntin' out a mondo BM.
Really lookin forward to the sequel weekend, you guys.
When I found out about Power Moves, it was a definite celebraish situaish. My girlfriend (who gets no complaints in the bod department) pre-ordered it for me, and when I got the notice that it would be delivered to my mailbox, we went all out. Triscuits & mayo, a couple dozen McRibs, 'chos with ALL the fixin's. Full spread, really. I spent all day in the john doin 'shups and drinking tall Crown & Diets to get prepared.
But when I opened the book, I have to say, I was kind of disappointed. Karl on Twitter gets 5 stars; Karl in Power Moves, only 3. Before writing me off as some corncob, let me explain:
First of all, if you've read his old tweets, then this book is simply review. While the format is different, the stories are basically the same. It's still funny but not as much the second time around.
Second, I find the story setups and punchlines are just funnier when delivered in 140 characters. Again, the book format is fine but inferior, pound for pound, to his Twitter feed (which is online and free).
Third, and related to the second point, it can get repetitive. When you read Karl just a handful of tweets at a time, it stays fresh longer than if you sit down and just read through Power Moves.
All that said, if you are into guy humor, you should give this book a read. At the least, put a copy in the john at work and read it while you're gruntin' out a mondo BM.
Really lookin forward to the
July 18, 2013
The print version of 3:57 of Whitesnake's "Still Of The Night" you guys.
February 12, 2018
So money, cooler than a top shelf mag at 'bees. Don't listen to killjoys like Ann, this book is perfecto for anyone who lives a bad boy (or girl) lifestyle and rocks pretty much 24/7. Welzein 3:16 says this book just whooped your ass!
March 7, 2014
Do you enjoy the @dadboner Twitter account? If so, you'll like this. It follows some of his earlier tweets, before he had a large following, but expands on some stuff so at least some of the material is fresh. It surprisingly didn't get too tiresome, though I'll admit I generally wouldn't read more than 20 pages at a time. It's a solid, light book, good for refreshing your palette between heavier subject matters.
Read
July 20, 2013Pretty devastating, you guys.
August 23, 2013
I get the humor I suppose. With that said it is very repetitive and.... horrible. Not worth the few hour read.
October 26, 2017
Although this tome is four-years-old, it still serves as a fascinating and frightening peak into Trump's America. Don't bother with that JD Vance corncob. Michigan and Wisconsin are the states we need to study, and even though Captain Karl is as anti-Trump as they come, he was carried in on the same wave as "The Donald." So steamed about our country and really looking forward to the weekend, you guys.
January 30, 2023
Third in my series of toilet-only reads. Fuckin' great. Definitely a bit more one-note than the Dril book but way funnier than that stupid Tim and Eric Book. Captain Karl is the a great character. I love how much he hates his kid. I hope a sequel is written one of these days, you guys. It'd be a cause for celebraish.
January 19, 2020
Pretty much the best book ever, you guys.
June 14, 2021
Bury me with this book, you guys.
September 28, 2022
I’ve read this like 4 or 5 times and still laugh out loud. It’s a pile of rambling thoughts and bad decisions and I love it.
December 11, 2013
Karl Welzein (a.k.a. @dadboner) is pretty much the best thing on all of Twitter. In book form, Karl Welzein is something slightly less, but still enjoyable, especially if you haven't read these in tweet form previously.
Karl--in all of his overconfidence, alcoholicism, self-centeredness, and questionable taste--is a character like few others. Hard to like him, but easy to laugh at him, and sometimes pity him. The way he is written, full of goofball linguistic ticks, is exhilerating at 140 characters at a time, as you read it in real time. It's a little more stale on paper.
My favorite parts usually revolve around Karl hanging with his friends, who are even more desperate, profane, and absurd than Karl himself. Dave and Cooter in particular are great foils. They make Karl look good. Sometimes I'll remember some part of an @dadboner bit and laugh out loud. And sometimes there is even a tiny part of me that wishes that I might have a swig of trunk liquor from from the back of a Sebring, rock out to some 1980s hair ballads, get some top shelf margs at 'Bees, and end the night by drinking a thousand beers, you guys. Thankfully, I can live vicariously through Karl.
Karl--in all of his overconfidence, alcoholicism, self-centeredness, and questionable taste--is a character like few others. Hard to like him, but easy to laugh at him, and sometimes pity him. The way he is written, full of goofball linguistic ticks, is exhilerating at 140 characters at a time, as you read it in real time. It's a little more stale on paper.
My favorite parts usually revolve around Karl hanging with his friends, who are even more desperate, profane, and absurd than Karl himself. Dave and Cooter in particular are great foils. They make Karl look good. Sometimes I'll remember some part of an @dadboner bit and laugh out loud. And sometimes there is even a tiny part of me that wishes that I might have a swig of trunk liquor from from the back of a Sebring, rock out to some 1980s hair ballads, get some top shelf margs at 'Bees, and end the night by drinking a thousand beers, you guys. Thankfully, I can live vicariously through Karl.
December 4, 2013
It wasn't until after I read this book that I learned that the author does not exist. He is the fictional alter ego of an LA comedian, and this book is the product of what started as a popular twitter account. Karl is just the kind of hopeless, overweight, sexist, ignorant, alcoholic you can't help loving. This is partly because he doesn't know how hopeless he is, and he has a joie de vivre to rival anyone, despite having few reasons to. Reading this book is kind of like watching a train wreck, and you cringe delightfully as he gets himself into one terrible situation after another. Karl to some extent represents the worst in American society, and I am reminded of my father-in-law's common phrase, "This is why the Taliban hates us." The Taliban would hate this book. My only criticism is that there is no real plot - it could be about the self-destruction of Karl, but he was so close to begin with that it doesn't seem like much of a trip.
July 26, 2014
“Karl the main character of this farce would describe this book as being just packed full of bold flavors, and I have to agree. I could not put down this book as I was so aghast with how Karl lived his life and infatuated to see what he would do next. Karl is a middle aged man from Michigan who is determined to live his version of the American dream to the fullest, which usually means being super cool at all times and eating tasty treats that are full of bold flavors. He is so cool he had to write this instruction manual for the rest of us lame wads.”
August 5, 2013
The @dadboner twitter (up to 2011) in a fiction format - I think it works! This was definitely the heyday of the character to me, so I really think it's worth reading if you never read the twitter account. If you HAVE, there is nothing really new to see here. It would have been nice if they threw some extra content in here for people that were fans of the twitter account - I really would have liked to hear a little about the guy who wrote the darn thing, for instance. So that's why it's a 4 star read!
August 13, 2013
Really looking forward to the summer 2015 movie starring John C. Reilly, you guys.
Completely unresearched statement: Karl Welzein might be the most original character I've read/seen since Jeffrey Lebowski.
If you relate at all to my sense of humor you will almost certainly find this hilarious; although since whats-his-name essentially rehashed his twitter feed, the tremendous voice and vocabulary of Karl doesn't really round into form until about Chapter 8. Can't recommend these breezy 240 pages enough.
Completely unresearched statement: Karl Welzein might be the most original character I've read/seen since Jeffrey Lebowski.
If you relate at all to my sense of humor you will almost certainly find this hilarious; although since whats-his-name essentially rehashed his twitter feed, the tremendous voice and vocabulary of Karl doesn't really round into form until about Chapter 8. Can't recommend these breezy 240 pages enough.
Read
September 10, 2013“Karl the main character of this farce would describe this book as being just packed full of bold flavors, and I have to agree. I could not put down this book as I was so aghast with how Karl lived his life and infatuated to see what he would do next. Karl is a middle aged man from Michigan who is determined to live his version of the American dream to the fullest, which usually means being super cool at all times and eating tasty treats that are full of bold flavors. He is so cool he had to write this instruction manual for the rest of us lame wads.”—Craig at KDL's Cascade Township branch
August 5, 2013
Dadboner is one of the great twitter feeds, and Karl Welzein is a true American, in all the worst ways. But his endless optimism, man, it's something to behold. You witness his horrible decisions and want him to get his life on track because, underneath the bloated exterior, he might just be a good dude. Or at least that's what I want to believe.
I should also note that this book made me physically ill for a number of reasons beyond laughter, mostly his Atkin's diet.
I should also note that this book made me physically ill for a number of reasons beyond laughter, mostly his Atkin's diet.
September 13, 2013
Lots of mid day laughs as expected. Love the whole idea of Karl Welzein, mostly because he reminds me of real Dads that I have met through childhood friends. One thing that was a bit disappointing was that there wasn't any new material. It was all recycled tweets which I had read before. Still a hilarious read and a must own for any Karl fans.
August 29, 2013
Really looking forward to the weekend, you guys. This book is a primo celebraish of bold flavors, top shelf margs, and passing out in your Sebring 2-3 nights per week. Someone told me that it reminded them of A Confederacy of Dunces, but he's a corncob. This book is about living in Bad Boy City 365 days a year and neglecting your estranged wife and kids. Funny and despairing, you guys.
August 10, 2013
I really enjoy Karl's twitter feed but this seemed mostly like a re-hash. It loses something in the translation to journal, namely all that timely bad boy flavor.
Unless there's a sequel TK, I'm a little disappointed.
Unless there's a sequel TK, I'm a little disappointed.
January 8, 2014
I'll admit - this book was on my shelf and I picked it up as a "light" reading for my lunch breaks. I'm giving it 3 stars, because there were a few laugh out loud moments, but I did feel it was about 100 pages too long. And oddly, didn't end up being as quick of a read as I thought it would.
March 16, 2014
I can't believe that there are some negative reviews of this masterwork of literature. Are these people illiterate? So sick of this. You need to learn to read beyond a 3rd grade level to understand this and make it in America, you guys.
October 8, 2013
Karl is my hero
July 15, 2013
Goes down so smooth, you guys. Better than 18 mango habanero wings on a Wednesday. Man.
August 3, 2013
Really looking forward to the sequel, you guys.
August 21, 2013
Very funny through most of the book but loses it's comedic steam towards the end.
August 17, 2013
The #1 book on keepin' it rockin' USA style, D'reets, power BM's and Guy-Fieri-fandom.
Displaying 1 - 29 of 41 reviews