Motherhood - a horror story
This book starts off with two young 20-somethings, David and Harriet, who find each other at a work party in the late 1960s. They're deliriously happy to find each other, having always felt different and somewhat condemned for their differences. They marry, and buy a huge Victorian house with many rooms to fill with the many children they plan to have. Their families are disapproving. Why so many children? How will you support them? What's the rush? Aren't there more important things to do with your life, anyway?
They are determined though, to fulfill this dream of a big family and vibrant family gatherings. And they do it. In almost as many years, they have 4 kids (yes, this is a horror story....). Their families, who were disapproving and finger wagging, almost have to eat crow. They all convene in the Victorian mansion for riotous holiday celebrations, and they LOVE it. They have to admit, this life is warm and joyful and fulfilling. Everyone's having a great time.
Until... well, you guessed it. Child #5. From conception, it is a nightmare. The pregnancy alone is torture, and a sneak peek into life afterward. Child #5 is nothing like the rest of the family. Child #5 does scary things. Child #5 systematically destroys the family.
This powerful novella had me terribly uncomfortable during the entire reading. After, I thought a great deal about it. In 150 pages, Doris Lessing captures the impossible positions motherhood can present. A mother is often damned if she does, damned if she doesn't. Take care of one, destroy the family. Let go of one, destroy herself.
Often Harriet feels like she is being punished, treated like a criminal. Is she being punished for going after her own happiness? For wanting an excess, too much? Is this a general indictment for overpopulation? Or is she ultimately punished for the abandonment of her first four children? Or, perhaps, worse still, is all of this in her head - the result of an inexplicable maternal ambivalence?
Lessing knew a thing or two about these things. After her first marriage ended, she left her two oldest children in Rhodesia for their father to raise, but took the youngest with her to England. At first, as she is quoted as saying, she felt "brave" for doing this, and pursuing her writing and political passions. But maybe by 1988, at the time of this publication, and towards the end of her life, she felt the full effects of her decision. Felt like a criminal. Felt like she had destroyed a perfectly good family. Saw that she didn't know when to quit when she was ahead.
Whatever you see in these pages, the impossibilities and catch-22 situations within motherhood will stand out, and gouge you.
Comparisons can be made to Lionel Shriver's terrifying We Need to Talk About Kevin. Maybe even, in some respects, Ira Levin's Rosemary's Baby. As with all good horror stories, you will be chilled as you turn the final page. As with all good literary fiction, you'll be thinking a long time afterwards.