Living Independently on the Autism Spectrum: What You Need to Know to Move into a Place of Your Own, Succeed at Work, Start a Relationship, Stay Safe, and Enjoy Life as an Adult on the Autism Spectrum

by Lynne Soraya

Shape your way in the world and overcome any challenge!

Living on your own for the very first time can be exciting yet nerve-wracking--you'll search for roommates, interview for jobs, manage finances, and form relationships. But adjusting to this new life can seem especially difficult when you're on the Autism Spectrum. Drawing on her experiences, Lynne Soraya, one of ThAutcast.com's Most Inspiring Autistic People and author of Psychology Today 's Asperger's Diary, will provide you with valuable advice as she guides you through each step of your transition into adulthood. These real-life strategies will help you cope with the feelings brought on by this change as well as deal with common challenges,

With Living Independently on the Autism Spectrum , you will gain the confidence, support, and guidance you need to finally experience life on your own.

Genres: Autistic Spectrum Disorder, Nonfiction, Psychology, Self Help, Mental Health, Aspergers, Health

272 pages, Paperback

First published May 18, 2013

About the author

Lynne Soraya learned early the impact of expectations and the reality of the diversity of the human experience. A child with an unusual profile of skills and abilities, she was blessed with excellent teachers who saw through her differences and struggles to the ability beneath. It was only in adulthood, after years of difficulties and confusion, that she learned that her differences had a name: Asperger’s Syndrome, a form of autism.

Today, she is a woman who wears many hats. As a disability advocate and writer, she works to build awareness to the issues affecting those who do not fit into the mold society labels as “typical.” Her work has been featured on the The Creativity Post, The Thinking Person’s Guide to Autism, and Autism and Empathy site.

She was chosen as one of the Top 50 Most Inspiring Autistic People for 2011 at ThAutcast.com. She has been interviewed by several media outlets, including the Boston Globe, USA Today, the Columbian news magazine Semana, and the Child Mind Institute. She has an essay published in the book Asperger Syndrome (Perspectives on Diseases and Disorders) which also contains work by Temple Grandin and Tony Attwood. Her new book, Living Independently on the Autism Spectrum will be available in bookstores in June 2013.

In her day job, she’s a technological professional in the Fortune 500 who also works to drive diversity and inclusion in a corporate context.

Reviews

[Anna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Living Independently on the Autism Spectrum is an instruction manual for adulthood written for high functioning autistic adolescents and adults.

The book systematically goes through all the major milestones an adult must meet in order to achieve and maintain independence, and explains how to learn the skills & carry out the tasks involved step for step, while addressing the aspects that autism tends to make extra difficult.

Soraya starts with the internal psychological foundation for being an independent individual: like self-advocacy, self-awareness, boundaries, social communication and managing emotions; and then moves onto the external aspects of an independent life such as how to find and afford a home; how to budget, how to get around; be safe, plan a career and get a job, how to navigate a workplace; how to make good friends and be a good friend, as well as dating and long term relationships.

The book is well organised, specific, constructive, pragmatic, easy to read and full of useful references to assist with further learning. I find it extremely useful. I read it because I hoped to get a better overview over all the practical adulthood skills I'm supposed to master:-), get a better understanding of workplace dynamics and good social scripts for various situations, and that is precisely what the books gives.

I also think it may be a useful read for any adolescent (whether autistic or not) looking to move away from their family; as well as many adults who don't feel they have the full grasp of all the skills demanded of grown-ups.

Highlights: some of the aspects I liked best:

• Self-awareness : "strange engine noises" as a metaphor for detecting signs of overload before it is too late
• Learning about people: people watching and all its (entertaining) not-to-dos
• Explaining one's differences and limitations without antagonising people (partial disclosure)
• Clarity in communication, the pitfalls of assumptions, how to be a good listener and how autism can be an advantage in communication
• Setting boundaries with family
• Budgeting and estimating living costs and necessary salary
• Leasing arrangements with flatmates (not that I need that now, but always wondered how it works)
• Time management, prioritisation and housework
• Driving - sensory/mental overload & safety
• Job search techniques, including job interview preparation. Also, self-employment considerations
• Navigating the workplace including appearance, social etiquette, understanding hidden cues, diplomacy, office politics and how to build social support systems
• Sensory issues and the need for accommodations, partial VS full disclosure
• Friendship skills and relationship skills
• All the useful references

Less useful

Americanism. Some of the advice seems practically and/or culturally irrelevant outside of America. For example:

• The apparently high risk of being shot by the police: I get the impression from the book than American police officers have a "shoot first, ask later" Western movie approach to atypical behaviour. That may be a relevant risk for some people, but probably only in America due to America's world infamously liberal weapon laws and high crime rates
• The strong focus on personal safety, which makes up a big chunk of the book
• The strict corporate dress codes. I'm not sure if dress codes are really so strict for typical workplaces, or if that is specific for US corporate culture (Pantyhose, really?) Then again, I don't have that much white collar work experience and maybe I am just being naive
• What is a credit report? Apparently an essential factor... I take it that is a US thing as well

Conclusion

In summary, Living Independently on the Autism Spectrum explains step by step how to establish and maintain the foundation for a healthy & happy independent adult life. It goes through all the major milestones of adulthood and addresses common autistic challenges associated with each life aspect. I think the book does an excellent job.

[Kym Grosso · Rating 5 out of 5]

Living Independently on the Autism Spectrum, What you need to know to move into a place of your own, succeed at work, start a relationship, stay safe, and Enjoy Life as an Adult on the Autism Spectrum written by Lynne Soraya is a terrific new book which I recently had the opportunity to read. I would highly recommend this book to not only autistic adults but also to parents, teachers, therapists and human resource managers, as it provides the kind of insight into autism that only an autistic person can provide.

The entire book gave comprehensive advice about how to best plan and implement living independently. It is the kind of book someone could read many times and use as a guide as they are transitioning to adulthood. When I was reading a few of the chapters, such as ‘Navigating the Workplace’, I thought that many neurotypical adults would also benefit from her terrific advice as well when moving their parents’ homes onto their own lives.

From chapters on ‘Skills for Self Advocacy’ to ‘Navigating the Workplace’ to ‘Dating and Romantic Relationships’, this wonderful guide provides readers with an understanding of concerns, potential issues and recommendations how to avoid potential pitfalls and succeed. The author also provides examples of her own personal experiences, which helps to illustrate her points throughout the chapters. Not only was it helpful to read her advice on common challenges such as “Dealing with Anxiety and Worry”, the author cited several additional sources of information throughout, so a person could go back and reference them, if needed.

As a parent, I could especially relate to the chapters on Self Advocacy and Managing Emotional and Sensory Issues because that is where we are on our journey. I actually had to stop and read some of the sentences out loud with my son, because it was I knew that my son, even as a teenager, would greatly appreciate her advice (and he was impressed as well). After reading him a few paragraphs, my son is really looking forward to reading this book.

There really is a ton of great advice in this book, so much so that makes it hard to sum up it up in a few paragraphs. But the bottom line is that this book could be an extraordinarily important tool in helping not only autistic adults but also parents and professionals learn about how to help their teens and young adults. This book could be an invaluable resource in helping autistic adults successfully navigate the journey to independence. I am so glad she wrote this book and honored to have the opportunity to read it. A must read for autistics, parents, and professionals!

[Gari · Rating 4 out of 5]

Living Independently on the Autism Spectrum by Lynne Soraya, blogger for Psychology Today's Asperger's Diary, is a wonderful guidebook for people with autism who want to experience and enjoy life on their own. Lynne draws on her own experiences, as well as those of other adults with autism, to provide straightforward, real-life strategies for successfully obtaining independence. This must-read resource is for autistics and those who care about them.

I think Lynne says it best:

Going out on your own can be an exciting challenge for anyone. It can be scary, but it can also be wonderful.

For those of us on the autism spectrum, it can be even more daunting. We can face difficulties that others don't even think about. The stress of change and transition can be particularly acute. But, like everyone else, we have our strengths. It's just a question of finding and harnessing them.

Like many who grew up undiagnosed, I struggled through those times alone, without an understanding of why I encountered so many issues. I made plenty of mistakes. If you're reading this book, you've got something going for you: You're arming yourself with knowledge. That is a great start.

In this book, you'll expand your knowledge and draw on the collective experiences of people on the spectrum who've found their way through this transition. This book will help you to learn what you need to know in order to thrive and survive on the autism spectrum.

[Laura Cushing · Rating 4 out of 5]

As an adult on the autism spectrum who has been living in an apartment for about three years now, I was interested in what tips there might be for managing things better than I have been. Housework is often a big struggle, for example, due to executive function issues.

This book has a lot of good advice in a lot of areas that are important to a person striking out on their own for the first time. I did learn a few things, and found a few other resources to check out along the way, but a lot of it didn't go into the level of detail I would have liked.

[Judy Turetsky · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a wonderful book for young people, parents, teachers, therapists - anyone interested in the transition to young adulthood and independence. I loved how Ms. Soraya cited other sources for more in-depth information about numerous topics, so she was able to cover a wide array of topics, without the book becoming too cumbersome. A reader requiring, or simply wanting more information on one specific topic, can easily pursue that inquiry, by reading the cited sources. Readers who are satisfied with the outline provided, can proceed with the information provided in this book.

In some ways, this book is like any self-help book. However, it explains many of the unwritten rules that are so confounding to individuals on the autism spectrum, and it does so with respect. While not assuming that the reader understands everything that "everyone" knows, it also doesn't "talk down" to the reader. The explanations are clear, straightforward, and done. At the end of the book, there is even a glossary of idioms and expressions! I found this to be an engaging, and easy-to-read book, so reading it linearly was delightful, although it can also be used as a reference book. I highly recommend it to anyone who is setting on on his or her own, particularly someone who is on the autism spectrum.

[Claire Caterer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very helpful guide to adulthood for those on the spectrum. Parents: it's good to read this when your kids are nearing this transition. It can seem like an overwhelming change, and it must be taken slowly, at the young adult's own pace. This book gives both young adults and their advocates a good idea of what will be required of them as independent members of society.

[Debra Lambert Stone · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have a grandson that is Autistic--this was a very informative and helpful book.

[Kendal]

a little dated, but still insightful

[Aaiza Naveed · Rating 3 out of 5]

'I told you na there isn't much. Me reading this book it so good though a touch basic but me like the prose even though author has different takes too.'

[Tony Parsons · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a former crisis & school MSW the only Autistic individuals I worked with were grade school age kids. This book would not be for them. It still would have to be gone over with your client step-by-step.

I did not receive any type of compensation for reading & reviewing this book. While I receive free books from publishers & authors, I am under no obligation to write a positive review. Only an honest one.

A very awesome book cover, great font & writing style. A very well written informative resource book on Autism. It was very easy for me to read/follow from start/finish & never a dull moment. There were no grammar/typo errors, nor any repetitive or out of line sequence sentences. Lots of exciting scenarios, with several twists/turns & a great set of unique characters to keep track of. This could also make another great mental health movie, PP presentation or mini TV series. There is no doubt in my mind this is a very easy rating of 5 stars.

Thank you for the free Goodreads; Adams Media; paperback book
Tony Parsons MSW (Washburn)

[Annika Grover · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was written awhile ago but is still very very useful. It would be particularly helpful for those like me who have a diagnosis of level one ASD (previously known as Asperger's Syndrome). It covers a lot of areas of safety and communication barriers that we face regularly in society, friendships, our families and everyday conversations, interactions and associations with acquaintances and how to solve them. Of course this book isn't going to help solve every single problem I ever encounter because of my autism, but it has helped me so so much in general.

Also, I love how the book made sure to clarify figures of speech and clearly explain things in a literal way for me to understand everything properly.

[Buck Wilde · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book taught me more about autism than my any of the courses for my Psych B.A.
It's full of good general life advice, too. A lot of mindfulness, a lot of REBH stuff, but Ellis was always my favorite anyway. A lucid, well-written guidebook that provided some helpful perspective.

[Sanfordgrant · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is great. So helpful in discussing how to do just what it says. It is very factual and to the point. I did think it was geared to someone very high functioning.... might need a little more for the type of personality that is seeking this information.

[Samantha Phillis · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a very good book for people on the spectrum. It contains practical advice for many aspects of adult life that people on the spectrum could struggle with. I only wish I had known about this before I went out on my own.

[Sarah Lee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not a bad book, but a bit outdated but that's expected based on it's publish date. Because of being older it does reference Asperger's occasionally. I think there is some good information that is still relevant that could help some people on the spectrum. Personally I am a late diagnosis so I've got some of these skills already covered by this point in my life, but it was affirming knowing my struggles were real and how lucky I have been to be able to learn to mask so hard to "fit in" The only real parts that I kind of struggled with was when she was talking about work dress etiquette. She discussed clothing more addressed towards women and heavily implied multiple times that it's the responsibility of the woman not to dress in a provocative way. She didn't explain the same thing for men other than cover your underwear. She also implied makeup was a requirement for work, explaining how it should look. I would love to see an updated version!

[Curious Madra · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pretty nice informative book to check out even if it’s full of United States only links and it’s 12 years old.