How to Live with a Neurotic

by Albert Ellis

The domineering mother in law The argumentative co-worker The jealous husband The cheating lover The dictatorial boss The bashful teenager The lying friend The sloppy housewife Anybody you know? If you do - and who doesn't?- you need this important and provocative book. It will show you how to ease the strain of living, working, or associating with a person whose erratic or difficult behavior stamps him as a neurotic.

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction

Mass Market Paperback

First published January 1, 1975

About the author

Albert Ellis was an American psychologist who in 1955 developed Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). He held M.A. and Ph.D. degrees in clinical psychology from Columbia University and American Board of Professional Psychology (ABPP). He also founded and was the President of the New York City-based Albert Ellis Institute for decades.
He is generally considered to be one of the originators of the cognitive revolutionary paradigm shift in psychotherapy and the founder of cognitive-behavioral therapies. Based on a 1982 professional survey of USA and Canadian psychologists, he was considered as the second most influential psychotherapist in history (Carl Rogers ranked first in the survey; Sigmund Freud was ranked third).

Reviews

[Sadaf · Rating 4 out of 5]

the book is very insightful in terms of the problems that can come up that make people hard to live with. It talks of many instances and ways of thinking that can get in the way of good relationships with others and a better level of confidence. Both therapists and lay people can use this book well to learn more about human nature, and specifically emotional issues.
However, the book labels a lot, almost as if therapists are in a constant debate with the client. I am much more of a collaborative person and could not digest the harsh terminology.
However, towards the end I saw that among trustworthy reading resources, Ellis did mention Rogers' On Becoming A Person, and I was quite touched. This was written during a time when the therapist-client relationship was mostly didactic, and maybe the tone is just a reflection of the zietgiest of those times.

[Blanca · Rating 4 out of 5]

La terminología en algunos casos se hace pesada y está algo desfasado, sin embargo, aporta puntos de vista muy útiles e interesantes.

[L.S. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Toti nevroticii au o frica irationala de ceva. Se tem de ceea ce gandesc oamenii. Isi traduc frica de dezaprobare in fobii concrete, hipersensibilitate si suspiciune exagerata: ei cred ca nu sunt pe placul semenilor. Multi nevrotici se comporta cu ostilitate si resentiment. Ei cred ca lumea ii nedreptateste. Nevroticii actioneaza ineficient. Multi fac lucrurile aiurea sau nu le fac deloc. Lucreaza nesistematic, compulsiv, se impotmolesc si complica lucrurile. Se ambaleaza emotional astfel incat nu se mai pot gandi la rezolvarea problemelor si tind sa dea vina pe ceilalti. Au un caracter tensionat: coordonare slaba, incapacitatea de a se linisti.
Recunoasteti cu claritate si acceptati faptul ca au tulburari. Ei actioneaza intr-o maniera pe care nu se poate pune baza, cu furie, nerecunostinta, egoist si fara dragoste. Daca va intrebati de ce au facut asta?, raspunsul e „din cauza nevrozei, nu pentru ca ma urasc, pentru ca au ceva cu mine.” Deseori se comporta nevrotic. Nu reactionati la actiunile nevroticilor ca si cum le-ar directiona anume impotriva dvs. Actiunile se nasc deseori din sentimente indreptate spre propria lor persoana. Nu isi aleg deliberat un comportament neplacut. In principal se urasc pe ei insisi.

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