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The Secret Life of a Submissive: A True Story
Sarah K has a secret.
By day she’s a writer and level-headed single mother; by night she’s a submissive, surrendering herself to forbidden delights. But will she perform the most illicit act of all – falling in love?
Written with complete honesty, this is an electrifying journey to the heights of pleasure; a real-life Fifty Shades of Grey.
When Max comes into Sarah’s life – charming, handsome and deliciously brooding – she can’t stop herself. Before long she has surrendered to him in every way: becoming his submissive, yielding her body to his every desire, powerless to fight his sensual temptations.
As Sarah pushes her mind and body to its limits, she begins to realise that she’s in too deep. Pleasure and pain have become her world. She’s addicted – to the adrenalin, to the sensation, to Max himself.
Now she’s in serious danger of giving in to the ultimate temptation: falling in love…
Daring, evocative and thrilling, but told with wit and honesty, this is the explosive true story of life as a submissive, and of a secret world in which only a few dare to play.
By day she’s a writer and level-headed single mother; by night she’s a submissive, surrendering herself to forbidden delights. But will she perform the most illicit act of all – falling in love?
Written with complete honesty, this is an electrifying journey to the heights of pleasure; a real-life Fifty Shades of Grey.
When Max comes into Sarah’s life – charming, handsome and deliciously brooding – she can’t stop herself. Before long she has surrendered to him in every way: becoming his submissive, yielding her body to his every desire, powerless to fight his sensual temptations.
As Sarah pushes her mind and body to its limits, she begins to realise that she’s in too deep. Pleasure and pain have become her world. She’s addicted – to the adrenalin, to the sensation, to Max himself.
Now she’s in serious danger of giving in to the ultimate temptation: falling in love…
Daring, evocative and thrilling, but told with wit and honesty, this is the explosive true story of life as a submissive, and of a secret world in which only a few dare to play.
279 pages, Paperback
First published December 6, 2012
54 people are currently reading
635 people want to read
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Sarah K.
11 books17 followersLibrarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.
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August 8, 2025
Sarah is a writer of romance and erotic fiction in the UK but had never actually experienced the things she wrote about - she borrowed heavily from the fantasies in her own head. Married to an older man with old-fashioned ideas who was rather dull in bed, their children older teens and young adults now, as Sarah's story opens her marriage is finally ending and she is moving on with her life as a confident single woman.
After several useless dates with unexciting men she meets through an online dating site, Sarah decides to take the plunge and explore her so-called perverted sexual fantasies. She spends months exploring the internet and learning all about the lifestyle of BDSM, what excites her and what doesn't, and finally adds her own profile to an international BDSM website, stressing her inexperience and that she's seeking a man to guide her slowly into it all. She goes about it all carefully, knowing how important it is to her not just to find a man who isn't flat-out weird or psychotic, but a man she has a spark of chemistry with. Finally, she meets Max, and he's everything she was looking for.
Max is divorced with adult children, and has a little girl with his ex-girlfriend Abby. He's a successful man who does a lot of business in Europe, and he carries himself with the kind of quiet confidence that comes with being perfectly at ease with who you are. After a great deal of discussion and some laying out of the rules - Max stresses the importance of rules and a contract, not because it's legally binding but so that they know they have a mutual understanding and agreement which leads to better trust - Max begins to lead Sarah into the intoxicating world of pleasure and pain.
As Sarah explores her limits and the things that work - and the things that push her - she finds herself sleeping better, more at peace with herself, and her confidence growing. Many elements that come with the BDSM lifestyle are confronting and humiliating, and she finds the paradox - that something humiliating and embarrassing can be such a big turn-on for her - interesting but not strange.
Through Sarah's eyes we see the very ordinary, normal people who enjoy this kind of thing, and through her perspective we learn something about what appeals to people about this lifestyle, and how pain can lead to pleasure.
I'm glad I read The Diary of a Submissive by Sophie Morgan just before reading this (I wanted a comparison, as they're clearly similar), because it proved to be an invaluable comparison in understanding just what kind of book this is and who it will appeal to. Both books are marketed as true stories, but unlike Morgan's book, this one was easier believe. With Sarah's frank and open voice narrating events and what's going on inside her head, it's easy to believe that this really is a memoir; unlike with Morgan's book, I read it that way too.
It wasn't until after I finished this when I was looking through the kind of erotica that appeals to me personally, did it click what feels different about this - and Morgan's - book from what I'm used to reading. These two books have come out specifically in the wake of the mainstream success of the Fifty Shades trilogy - they have nothing in common with EL James's books, really they don't, no matter how often the publishers call them "real life Fifty Shades". What they are is a response to the mainstream popularity that arose in recent years, books for people - women - who've never read erotica before to dip their toes in once again. Neither book is particularly confronting, not compared to the erotic fiction I usually read, which is sharper, more up-front and assumes the reader isn't a newbie to the genre - there's no padding, and often no justification or defence either (the psychology of it is handled more subtly).
I wouldn't recommend The Diary of a Submissive to anyone - it just wasn't well written at all - but I would recommend The Secret Life of a Submissive. Sarah's journey takes the reader slowly into the BDSM world, broadening the horizons gradually, and countering assumptions along the way - and not quite countering others. For example, the idea that people who practice BDSM are perverts or "not nice" (as in, "nice men/women don't want that") is never overtly countered, though it's there in the characters and scenes if you read between the lines. I would like to remove the "pervert" judgement from the equation, it's rather tired and doesn't even match. (I don't know about you, but when I think "pervert" I think old men in flasher-jackets, jumping out from behind bushes to flash you their little willies.)
One of the refreshing things about this book - and one of the things glaringly absent from Sophie Morgan's version (I did say I wanted a comparison!) - was how Sarah often wonders how things that are normal in the BDSM world work in the everyday, asexual world. When she meets a young submissive woman called Carly who goes about indoors naked, she observes that Carly's labia "had a row of studs up either side: shiny stainless-steel balls like a row of ball bearings. I stared, wondering what the hell she said when she went to the doctor. Lord only knows what she would do to an airport security scanner." [p.135] And while exploring the playroom at Georgina's house during a BDSM party:
That one gave me a giggle. She wonders a lot about these things - about whether she would have to sleep on a mattress on the floor all the time, whether she would ever be able to snuggle with her Dom - because she herself wants a blend of the two, and Max is all hard-line Dom. As he clearly puts it, the rules between them are important and remain in place even when they're not in a scene - such as her calling him "Sir" and not speaking unless given permission - because it makes the whole thing more psychologically real, and BDSM is all about the psychology. This is true of the pain as well, and the giving up of control over oneself (as a sub): it is freeing. It makes a person feel alive (the same goal, I've always thought, behind why people cut themselves or do drugs or any number of self-destructive things: BDSM happens to be one of the ways you can achieve the same ends without destroying yourself, or doing any real lasting harm to yourself or another). Sarah doesn't enjoy being whipped - it always hurts - but it also arouses her and when the pain reaches a certain point she finds that she can fall into it, and her mind floats free - euphoria. Needless to say, the orgasms she experiences during scenes with Max are intense. And as I mentioned before, she sleeps deeply and well afterwards.
In the end, Sarah finds the balance that she needs, and that's the key message that runs through all BDSM stories: it's an individual thing, and only fulfils its aims if you are in the situation that works for you. Someone like Sarah could never live the BDSM lifestyle 24/7, and that's what she learns through her time with Max. Max himself is a bit of an erotic-romance cliché, but his commanding presence and charisma comes across clearly and overrode my eye-rolling. With him, Sarah has found a safe, trustworthy and experienced person with which to experiment and explore - I would think that this is quite rare, because I can't help but have a very prosaic view of humanity and our many flaws, that the kind of man (or woman) who would make an ideal Dom isn't very common. He's a bit of a fantasy, I tend to think, but when I follow the thought through I also see that, just as beauty is in the eye of the beholder (we don't all find the same people attractive), so is the individual who you could "work" with in this way a subjective thing. Max was ideal for Sarah, but he might have been "off" for others. You see that at Georgina's party, where Sarah meets a wide range of ordinary people who get off on BDSM play in many different guises, and they have clearly found someone who works for them. And sometimes it doesn't work, and as with everyone else, they go back on the market and keep looking.
Plot-wise, this struggled a bit. I know that people have drama in their lives, but no matter how real the plot of this is, it reads awfully cheesy and had me rolling my eyes a bit. What started off strong ended rather lamely. Well, such is life really yeah? I just don't like being distracted by questions of "did that really happen?" It touches on a less stable element of BDSM - Abby is unhinged to say the least - but thankfully steers clear of linking her "condition" to the lifestyle (obviously BDSM doesn't actually cause you to become obsessive and stalkerish, but it probably does attract such people. Perhaps). The other thing to note about the way this was written is that, during "play" when Sarah is totally in the zone, the narrative switches from past tense to present tense, giving it an extra dollop of intensity. It was quite effective really.
While I did like this book, having read much more intense erotica than this (and erotic-romance, for that matter), this wasn't a very satisfying read for me - but then, I don't think I'm the reader she had in mind. This is the step I skipped when I started reading the genre, because books like this weren't really available then. Therefore, reading this was like sitting through a first year lecture for a degree you've already completed. Or having someone show you how to ride a bike even though you already know.
As interesting as it was to read Sarah's story - to follow someone so familiar and relatable as she treads on a new and unknown path (I am impressed by her bravery and courage, I don't think I could do what she did) - it was tame compared to what I'm used to, and didn't really add anything new to my understanding of BDSM (which is an on-going work in progress from the safety of my couch!). It was often fun, humorous even, and Sarah was a believable character in her own story, but it wasn't very exciting, and some of the best (more exciting and interesting) scenes, she glosses over, only mentioning them in passing. Really, this is an ideal book for readers who are just like Sarah: young at forty, married or separated, reexamining their lives and questioning their choices, and curious about things they've never been exposed to before. This is most definitely their book, a good, well-written intro to the genre and to BDSM in general.
My thanks to the publisher for a copy of this book via TLC Book Tours.
After several useless dates with unexciting men she meets through an online dating site, Sarah decides to take the plunge and explore her so-called perverted sexual fantasies. She spends months exploring the internet and learning all about the lifestyle of BDSM, what excites her and what doesn't, and finally adds her own profile to an international BDSM website, stressing her inexperience and that she's seeking a man to guide her slowly into it all. She goes about it all carefully, knowing how important it is to her not just to find a man who isn't flat-out weird or psychotic, but a man she has a spark of chemistry with. Finally, she meets Max, and he's everything she was looking for.
Max is divorced with adult children, and has a little girl with his ex-girlfriend Abby. He's a successful man who does a lot of business in Europe, and he carries himself with the kind of quiet confidence that comes with being perfectly at ease with who you are. After a great deal of discussion and some laying out of the rules - Max stresses the importance of rules and a contract, not because it's legally binding but so that they know they have a mutual understanding and agreement which leads to better trust - Max begins to lead Sarah into the intoxicating world of pleasure and pain.
As Sarah explores her limits and the things that work - and the things that push her - she finds herself sleeping better, more at peace with herself, and her confidence growing. Many elements that come with the BDSM lifestyle are confronting and humiliating, and she finds the paradox - that something humiliating and embarrassing can be such a big turn-on for her - interesting but not strange.
Through Sarah's eyes we see the very ordinary, normal people who enjoy this kind of thing, and through her perspective we learn something about what appeals to people about this lifestyle, and how pain can lead to pleasure.
I'm glad I read The Diary of a Submissive by Sophie Morgan just before reading this (I wanted a comparison, as they're clearly similar), because it proved to be an invaluable comparison in understanding just what kind of book this is and who it will appeal to. Both books are marketed as true stories, but unlike Morgan's book, this one was easier believe. With Sarah's frank and open voice narrating events and what's going on inside her head, it's easy to believe that this really is a memoir; unlike with Morgan's book, I read it that way too.
It wasn't until after I finished this when I was looking through the kind of erotica that appeals to me personally, did it click what feels different about this - and Morgan's - book from what I'm used to reading. These two books have come out specifically in the wake of the mainstream success of the Fifty Shades trilogy - they have nothing in common with EL James's books, really they don't, no matter how often the publishers call them "real life Fifty Shades". What they are is a response to the mainstream popularity that arose in recent years, books for people - women - who've never read erotica before to dip their toes in once again. Neither book is particularly confronting, not compared to the erotic fiction I usually read, which is sharper, more up-front and assumes the reader isn't a newbie to the genre - there's no padding, and often no justification or defence either (the psychology of it is handled more subtly).
I wouldn't recommend The Diary of a Submissive to anyone - it just wasn't well written at all - but I would recommend The Secret Life of a Submissive. Sarah's journey takes the reader slowly into the BDSM world, broadening the horizons gradually, and countering assumptions along the way - and not quite countering others. For example, the idea that people who practice BDSM are perverts or "not nice" (as in, "nice men/women don't want that") is never overtly countered, though it's there in the characters and scenes if you read between the lines. I would like to remove the "pervert" judgement from the equation, it's rather tired and doesn't even match. (I don't know about you, but when I think "pervert" I think old men in flasher-jackets, jumping out from behind bushes to flash you their little willies.)
One of the refreshing things about this book - and one of the things glaringly absent from Sophie Morgan's version (I did say I wanted a comparison!) - was how Sarah often wonders how things that are normal in the BDSM world work in the everyday, asexual world. When she meets a young submissive woman called Carly who goes about indoors naked, she observes that Carly's labia "had a row of studs up either side: shiny stainless-steel balls like a row of ball bearings. I stared, wondering what the hell she said when she went to the doctor. Lord only knows what she would do to an airport security scanner." [p.135] And while exploring the playroom at Georgina's house during a BDSM party:
On the wall on a shelf above the baskets of condoms were a selection of dildos and strap-on cocks that varied in size from oh-yes via good-lord to bloody-hell and then alongside them were other things that defy description or identification. Georgina caught me looking at them and smiled.
"You can try anything you want, dear," she said with a wave of the hand. "Just help yourselves."
At which point I said the first thing that came into my head, which was, "They must be hell to keep clean."
"Not at all, sweetie," said Georgina, helping herself to a cup of water from the cooler. "Barry just pops them all in the dishwasher." [p.161]
That one gave me a giggle. She wonders a lot about these things - about whether she would have to sleep on a mattress on the floor all the time, whether she would ever be able to snuggle with her Dom - because she herself wants a blend of the two, and Max is all hard-line Dom. As he clearly puts it, the rules between them are important and remain in place even when they're not in a scene - such as her calling him "Sir" and not speaking unless given permission - because it makes the whole thing more psychologically real, and BDSM is all about the psychology. This is true of the pain as well, and the giving up of control over oneself (as a sub): it is freeing. It makes a person feel alive (the same goal, I've always thought, behind why people cut themselves or do drugs or any number of self-destructive things: BDSM happens to be one of the ways you can achieve the same ends without destroying yourself, or doing any real lasting harm to yourself or another). Sarah doesn't enjoy being whipped - it always hurts - but it also arouses her and when the pain reaches a certain point she finds that she can fall into it, and her mind floats free - euphoria. Needless to say, the orgasms she experiences during scenes with Max are intense. And as I mentioned before, she sleeps deeply and well afterwards.
In the end, Sarah finds the balance that she needs, and that's the key message that runs through all BDSM stories: it's an individual thing, and only fulfils its aims if you are in the situation that works for you. Someone like Sarah could never live the BDSM lifestyle 24/7, and that's what she learns through her time with Max. Max himself is a bit of an erotic-romance cliché, but his commanding presence and charisma comes across clearly and overrode my eye-rolling. With him, Sarah has found a safe, trustworthy and experienced person with which to experiment and explore - I would think that this is quite rare, because I can't help but have a very prosaic view of humanity and our many flaws, that the kind of man (or woman) who would make an ideal Dom isn't very common. He's a bit of a fantasy, I tend to think, but when I follow the thought through I also see that, just as beauty is in the eye of the beholder (we don't all find the same people attractive), so is the individual who you could "work" with in this way a subjective thing. Max was ideal for Sarah, but he might have been "off" for others. You see that at Georgina's party, where Sarah meets a wide range of ordinary people who get off on BDSM play in many different guises, and they have clearly found someone who works for them. And sometimes it doesn't work, and as with everyone else, they go back on the market and keep looking.
Plot-wise, this struggled a bit. I know that people have drama in their lives, but no matter how real the plot of this is, it reads awfully cheesy and had me rolling my eyes a bit. What started off strong ended rather lamely. Well, such is life really yeah? I just don't like being distracted by questions of "did that really happen?" It touches on a less stable element of BDSM - Abby is unhinged to say the least - but thankfully steers clear of linking her "condition" to the lifestyle (obviously BDSM doesn't actually cause you to become obsessive and stalkerish, but it probably does attract such people. Perhaps). The other thing to note about the way this was written is that, during "play" when Sarah is totally in the zone, the narrative switches from past tense to present tense, giving it an extra dollop of intensity. It was quite effective really.
While I did like this book, having read much more intense erotica than this (and erotic-romance, for that matter), this wasn't a very satisfying read for me - but then, I don't think I'm the reader she had in mind. This is the step I skipped when I started reading the genre, because books like this weren't really available then. Therefore, reading this was like sitting through a first year lecture for a degree you've already completed. Or having someone show you how to ride a bike even though you already know.
As interesting as it was to read Sarah's story - to follow someone so familiar and relatable as she treads on a new and unknown path (I am impressed by her bravery and courage, I don't think I could do what she did) - it was tame compared to what I'm used to, and didn't really add anything new to my understanding of BDSM (which is an on-going work in progress from the safety of my couch!). It was often fun, humorous even, and Sarah was a believable character in her own story, but it wasn't very exciting, and some of the best (more exciting and interesting) scenes, she glosses over, only mentioning them in passing. Really, this is an ideal book for readers who are just like Sarah: young at forty, married or separated, reexamining their lives and questioning their choices, and curious about things they've never been exposed to before. This is most definitely their book, a good, well-written intro to the genre and to BDSM in general.
My thanks to the publisher for a copy of this book via TLC Book Tours.
September 6, 2017
Interesantna priča o jednom drugom načinu viđenja ljubavnog života.
Primjedba: Radnja se odvija u Engleskoj, a spominje se odlazak na Thompsonov koncert i listanje Glorije? WTF?! :P
Ne razumijem želju za "prevođenjem" naslova koncerata i časopisa! Zar čitatelj ne bi shvatio poantu priče ako glavni akter čita magazin "Stars" ili je otišao na koncert U2-a, a on sam nikada nije listao ili gledao u živo grupu? Pa ne sinkroniziramo crtić na hrvatski..
Primjedba: Radnja se odvija u Engleskoj, a spominje se odlazak na Thompsonov koncert i listanje Glorije? WTF?! :P
Ne razumijem želju za "prevođenjem" naslova koncerata i časopisa! Zar čitatelj ne bi shvatio poantu priče ako glavni akter čita magazin "Stars" ili je otišao na koncert U2-a, a on sam nikada nije listao ili gledao u živo grupu? Pa ne sinkroniziramo crtić na hrvatski..
May 17, 2013
“I wondered if this was something to do with my fantasy about Prince Charming — the one to whom I didn’t need to speak. The one who knew everything I wanted and needed without me saying a word, although in my fantasy Prince Charming had never resorted to nipple clamps.”
– pg 161
I sincerely love this book. The description tells the truth in saying that it is told with both wit and honesty — and that E.L. James would blush (and cringe) at some of the things in this book.
First, a few things: as much as I enjoyed the Fifty Shades Trilogy, I honestly believe that it took hold mainly because it was Twilight fan-fiction, and look how big those books were blown up. I read Twilight and enjoyed them because they were (and are) a cultural phenomenon. Are they well written with well-rounded, three dimensional characters? No. Bella is written as such a one-dimensional character so that every female reading can identify with her (which is why I will defend Kristen Stewart’s acting in these movies alone, because she CAN act, but Bella is made of cardboard.)
Also, I have personal experience in this area of life, which is why I requested to review this book, and request many like it. A very close friend of mine was curious about the lifestyle a few years back and I did research with her and was with her every step of the way to make sure she was safe, and she told me everything. So I understand that it’s more than E.L. James wrote, that scandalized so many, yet simply amused me and my friend.
Now, those things being said, so readers can understand my perspective, my review:
This IS a true telling. I know that some people may say that and it’s a lie, but, knowing the lifestyle as I do, and reading the way that Sarah K writes it, you can tell it’s real. It is real, dirty, painful, sexy, cringe-inducing, witty, and not a little heartbreaking.
Sarah is a writer and she and a fellow writer realize that the market for BDSM erotica novels has grown considerably. For years, Sarah researched it but never experienced it. But deep down, she wants to. So after gaining the courage to join a dating website specifically for those interested in the lifestyle, she speaks to various men online, meeting a few, but mostly experiences what anyone on a dating website does: a whole lot of creepers, weirdos and perverts that are just on there to get laid.
Finally she starts speaking to Max… and soon they develop a rapport. One in which he immediately asserts himself as a secure dominant. He gradually brings her into the world, pushing her limits, having a contract signed and, ultimately, falling in love… But there are always barriers and, in real life, not everything has a happy ending. I am not saying that this book doesn’t have one, but there are heart-breaking moments in it as they go through the ups and downs of real life — this is non-fiction, after all.
It’s a well-written account of her experiences, each chapter introduced with a quote from Henry James or The Marquis de Sade, which made me break out my old collections to read him again. It draws you in and excites you — sometimes in an erotic way, sometimes in an “Oh my god, holy sh*t” way… but it will get your heart racing. At times you may not want to turn the page but you have to, are compelled to, to see what happens next.
I’m giving this a five out of five flowers because it’s real, amazing and enthralling. But if you’re vanilla, and you were a bit turned off by Fifty Shades of Grey or any of the books in the category, don’t read this. It is not for you. However, if you’re in the lifestyle, or you’d simply like to venture there in Sarah’s place, sit back and enjoy.
– pg 161
I sincerely love this book. The description tells the truth in saying that it is told with both wit and honesty — and that E.L. James would blush (and cringe) at some of the things in this book.
First, a few things: as much as I enjoyed the Fifty Shades Trilogy, I honestly believe that it took hold mainly because it was Twilight fan-fiction, and look how big those books were blown up. I read Twilight and enjoyed them because they were (and are) a cultural phenomenon. Are they well written with well-rounded, three dimensional characters? No. Bella is written as such a one-dimensional character so that every female reading can identify with her (which is why I will defend Kristen Stewart’s acting in these movies alone, because she CAN act, but Bella is made of cardboard.)
Also, I have personal experience in this area of life, which is why I requested to review this book, and request many like it. A very close friend of mine was curious about the lifestyle a few years back and I did research with her and was with her every step of the way to make sure she was safe, and she told me everything. So I understand that it’s more than E.L. James wrote, that scandalized so many, yet simply amused me and my friend.
Now, those things being said, so readers can understand my perspective, my review:
This IS a true telling. I know that some people may say that and it’s a lie, but, knowing the lifestyle as I do, and reading the way that Sarah K writes it, you can tell it’s real. It is real, dirty, painful, sexy, cringe-inducing, witty, and not a little heartbreaking.
Sarah is a writer and she and a fellow writer realize that the market for BDSM erotica novels has grown considerably. For years, Sarah researched it but never experienced it. But deep down, she wants to. So after gaining the courage to join a dating website specifically for those interested in the lifestyle, she speaks to various men online, meeting a few, but mostly experiences what anyone on a dating website does: a whole lot of creepers, weirdos and perverts that are just on there to get laid.
Finally she starts speaking to Max… and soon they develop a rapport. One in which he immediately asserts himself as a secure dominant. He gradually brings her into the world, pushing her limits, having a contract signed and, ultimately, falling in love… But there are always barriers and, in real life, not everything has a happy ending. I am not saying that this book doesn’t have one, but there are heart-breaking moments in it as they go through the ups and downs of real life — this is non-fiction, after all.
It’s a well-written account of her experiences, each chapter introduced with a quote from Henry James or The Marquis de Sade, which made me break out my old collections to read him again. It draws you in and excites you — sometimes in an erotic way, sometimes in an “Oh my god, holy sh*t” way… but it will get your heart racing. At times you may not want to turn the page but you have to, are compelled to, to see what happens next.
I’m giving this a five out of five flowers because it’s real, amazing and enthralling. But if you’re vanilla, and you were a bit turned off by Fifty Shades of Grey or any of the books in the category, don’t read this. It is not for you. However, if you’re in the lifestyle, or you’d simply like to venture there in Sarah’s place, sit back and enjoy.
February 10, 2013
After years of reading BDSM romances, I jumped at the chance to read this memoir (via Edelweiss), written by an author of erotic romance, about her initiation into submission. Uncomfortable. Intriguing. Horrified. Romantic. Sad. Hopeful. These are my adjectives for this book. Note that Erotic is not among them. But that's no reason to turn you off Sarah's story. Uncomfortable and Horrified definitely might be a turn-off, but if you want a dose of realism to balance out the kink you've read, Intriguing is the word. Only if you've read plenty of BDSM romance already, though...this is no place to start.
Middle-aged Sarah lives in England. Divorced from a much-older man, her children are grown and her interest in BDSM results in her seeking a "mentor" online. She connects with Max, and after signing a contract--which includes no intercourse--her initiation begins. Her scenes of submission are raw and scary; Sarah never really explains why pain and humiliation turns her on, but she does describe everything in emotional and physical detail. Reading about a flogging in an erotic romance is not at all the same as the beatings Sarah endures. I can't stress that enough.
The story unfolds in many ways like a romance, even though Sarah initially keeps "sex" off the table and Max intends to keep his relationship strictly impersonal. What I often find confusing in erotic romance I also find confusing here and perhaps it's because of my age. I don't understand why everything but intercourse is not "sex." Frankly, if you're going to let somebody give you screaming orgasms, if you're going to give a man a blow job and swallow...how is that not "sex?"
Anyway, as Sarah gets deeper into the lifestyle and they remove "no sex" from the contract--the scenes related to her desire for actual sex with Max are erotic--she begins to develop feelings for him. Though he fights it, he falls in love with Sarah. But that "other woman" who often crops up in romances also crops up here, and when the compartmentalization of Sarah and Max's BDSM relationship breaks open into the messiness of Max's real life, suddenly the wall between reader and writer breaks wide open. Somehow reading about her BDSM scenes was like following a travelogue for me, but after Max and Sarah flew off for a romantic interlude in Paris and it all went to shit, that this is a true story nearly broke my heart.
I surprised myself in that I liked this book. Memoirs always work better, I think, when they're written by actual writers, and though the writing here isn't brilliant, it kept my interest. Generally when I read kinky scenes, if there are things like canes, hardcore whips, the involvement of fists or backdoor action without lots of loving prep that isn't graphically described, I am immediately turned off. I didn't find scenes like this in Sarah's story erotic in the least, but I was so intrigued by her experiences that I wanted to keep reading, probably because they were a part of her real life and I wanted to know what happened next.
Why does severe pain and humiliation turn some people on? Sarah's book doesn't answer that question for me, but I found her journey from middle-aged mother to BDSM devotee interesting and well told, and the intersection of kink with reality grounded this memoir in a unique fashion. If you've read BDSM romance and want to know what happens when fantasy becomes experiential, give this one a try. I won't give spoilers, but remember that Hopeful was one of my adjectives for this read.
Middle-aged Sarah lives in England. Divorced from a much-older man, her children are grown and her interest in BDSM results in her seeking a "mentor" online. She connects with Max, and after signing a contract--which includes no intercourse--her initiation begins. Her scenes of submission are raw and scary; Sarah never really explains why pain and humiliation turns her on, but she does describe everything in emotional and physical detail. Reading about a flogging in an erotic romance is not at all the same as the beatings Sarah endures. I can't stress that enough.
The story unfolds in many ways like a romance, even though Sarah initially keeps "sex" off the table and Max intends to keep his relationship strictly impersonal. What I often find confusing in erotic romance I also find confusing here and perhaps it's because of my age. I don't understand why everything but intercourse is not "sex." Frankly, if you're going to let somebody give you screaming orgasms, if you're going to give a man a blow job and swallow...how is that not "sex?"
Anyway, as Sarah gets deeper into the lifestyle and they remove "no sex" from the contract--the scenes related to her desire for actual sex with Max are erotic--she begins to develop feelings for him. Though he fights it, he falls in love with Sarah. But that "other woman" who often crops up in romances also crops up here, and when the compartmentalization of Sarah and Max's BDSM relationship breaks open into the messiness of Max's real life, suddenly the wall between reader and writer breaks wide open. Somehow reading about her BDSM scenes was like following a travelogue for me, but after Max and Sarah flew off for a romantic interlude in Paris and it all went to shit, that this is a true story nearly broke my heart.
I surprised myself in that I liked this book. Memoirs always work better, I think, when they're written by actual writers, and though the writing here isn't brilliant, it kept my interest. Generally when I read kinky scenes, if there are things like canes, hardcore whips, the involvement of fists or backdoor action without lots of loving prep that isn't graphically described, I am immediately turned off. I didn't find scenes like this in Sarah's story erotic in the least, but I was so intrigued by her experiences that I wanted to keep reading, probably because they were a part of her real life and I wanted to know what happened next.
Why does severe pain and humiliation turn some people on? Sarah's book doesn't answer that question for me, but I found her journey from middle-aged mother to BDSM devotee interesting and well told, and the intersection of kink with reality grounded this memoir in a unique fashion. If you've read BDSM romance and want to know what happens when fantasy becomes experiential, give this one a try. I won't give spoilers, but remember that Hopeful was one of my adjectives for this read.
August 30, 2013
Reviewed by: Crystal N
Book provided by: publisher for review
Review originally posted at Romancing the Book
This is not a book that tells you that you need to be into BDSM. Just a decision that one woman made to get into BDSM.
This a a book that I enjoyed reading. I have been thinking about the whole BDSM and wanting to know more about it. There are so many kinds out there and if it is something you want to do you need to find out more about it and what you will and won’t do. I really appreciate this author bringing out her life like this. I know that it couldn’t be easy.
In her book she tells what all started her research and what she did to get into the BDSM. Some things I couldn’t see myself doing. I have thought about the whole tying up and maybe spanking. I just think getting whipped with a cane would be too much for me. I enjoyed reading this book. The author did a wonderful job describing what she was feeling during every course of her education. I really didn’t like her husband all that much and I am glad that she found her someone that could give her what she wanted.
I was hoping that things would work out for Sarah and Max. I had to remember that this is a true life story not a romance novel that I love to get into and everything works out in the end. Sarah has found someone to love her and give her what she wants. She love to have vanilla in the mix. I just couldn’t see having the BDSM everyday in my life. That is something that you need to work out for yourself and your partner.
With reading this book my eyes have been opened up even more to the different sides. I know that you can never know how much you want to be in the lifestyle until you try it. It also is an experience on trust and if you can trust your partner to look out for you and make sure you are never hurt. I really commend the author for opening up and sharing what I know had to be a little hard.
This is not a self-help book that tells you what you need to do. It is the journey of one woman and what she wanted in her life. I recommend this book to people that wants to know about someone that has tried it and what they experienced and if it is for them.
Book provided by: publisher for review
Review originally posted at Romancing the Book
This is not a book that tells you that you need to be into BDSM. Just a decision that one woman made to get into BDSM.
This a a book that I enjoyed reading. I have been thinking about the whole BDSM and wanting to know more about it. There are so many kinds out there and if it is something you want to do you need to find out more about it and what you will and won’t do. I really appreciate this author bringing out her life like this. I know that it couldn’t be easy.
In her book she tells what all started her research and what she did to get into the BDSM. Some things I couldn’t see myself doing. I have thought about the whole tying up and maybe spanking. I just think getting whipped with a cane would be too much for me. I enjoyed reading this book. The author did a wonderful job describing what she was feeling during every course of her education. I really didn’t like her husband all that much and I am glad that she found her someone that could give her what she wanted.
I was hoping that things would work out for Sarah and Max. I had to remember that this is a true life story not a romance novel that I love to get into and everything works out in the end. Sarah has found someone to love her and give her what she wants. She love to have vanilla in the mix. I just couldn’t see having the BDSM everyday in my life. That is something that you need to work out for yourself and your partner.
With reading this book my eyes have been opened up even more to the different sides. I know that you can never know how much you want to be in the lifestyle until you try it. It also is an experience on trust and if you can trust your partner to look out for you and make sure you are never hurt. I really commend the author for opening up and sharing what I know had to be a little hard.
This is not a self-help book that tells you what you need to do. It is the journey of one woman and what she wanted in her life. I recommend this book to people that wants to know about someone that has tried it and what they experienced and if it is for them.
January 24, 2013
4 STARS!
The story begins at a point in Sarah's life where she is starting to question things about her marriage her life and herself. She then takes you on her journey of sexual self discovery.
As I was reading this book, I had to keep reminding myself this was a true story. This book was full of wonderful descriptive BDSM & sexual scenarios woven into a well told story. She takes you step by step through her introduction into BDSM and what it was like for her to experience this. She lets you inside her head and her heart and walks you through what she is feeling and how she is warring with her emotions on what she is feeling and why.
Although, the story didn't end like one of my fictional love stories would have, it was definitely worth the read.
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The story begins at a point in Sarah's life where she is starting to question things about her marriage her life and herself. She then takes you on her journey of sexual self discovery.
As I was reading this book, I had to keep reminding myself this was a true story. This book was full of wonderful descriptive BDSM & sexual scenarios woven into a well told story. She takes you step by step through her introduction into BDSM and what it was like for her to experience this. She lets you inside her head and her heart and walks you through what she is feeling and how she is warring with her emotions on what she is feeling and why.
Although, the story didn't end like one of my fictional love stories would have, it was definitely worth the read.
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March 15, 2013
A pretty clear explanation of the BDSM lifestyle and ways of play. It focuses as much on the mental and emotional sides of the activity as well as the mechanics of the play. A very interesting look into that world.
January 21, 2025
The supposed true story of a divorcée single mother exploring her submissive side and trying to find love within the world of BDSM.
This felt too contrived to me to be factual, particularly the ending, but having said that I did enjoy it. There are some genuinely funny moments within the book and I found myself smiling on occasion.
Well written and easy to read there's a lot to enjoy.
It's a few years old now and probably came out on the back of the whole 'fifty shades' erotica boom. Taken as a lightweight dark romance it's a likeable little story.
This felt too contrived to me to be factual, particularly the ending, but having said that I did enjoy it. There are some genuinely funny moments within the book and I found myself smiling on occasion.
Well written and easy to read there's a lot to enjoy.
It's a few years old now and probably came out on the back of the whole 'fifty shades' erotica boom. Taken as a lightweight dark romance it's a likeable little story.
March 9, 2017
Quite liked this book, although it got very samey with very little details about anything but the author's life as a submissive. Didn't help that I was struggling with severe back pain at the time of reading this story, so I did wince at times. I won't be reading any more books like this as I'm finding them repetitive, but I can see why folk find them interesting.
February 24, 2024
I enjoyed reading about someone’s path into a lifestyle I never knew existed until I read 50. Yes it sounds weird, but her experience was carefully written to make one see a normal person’s path into the lifestyle. She wrote her story with such honesty you hoped she got her happy ending…..she did in a way. Just not how you think at the start of her story
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 6, 2022
I don't like Max. Feel sorry for him.
February 10, 2022
Great story.
I liked following her story into a submissive. It was very enlightening and real. I can't wait to see what happens in her next experience.
I liked following her story into a submissive. It was very enlightening and real. I can't wait to see what happens in her next experience.
March 16, 2013
Tied Up In Knots
Original Post: http://fangswandsandfairydust.blogspo...
A purely natural tone positioned this novel true story for high regard from page one. While amusing ,and sometimes confounding, this offers a great glimpse into the mindset of a submissive and I found it highly engaging. It's a book where voice and writing style make up for shortcomings.
Though I am not convinced, this is presented as memoir and thus we know everything from Sarah's schooled, but naive point, of view.
After a passionless marriage, successful erotica writer Sarah and her husband divorce, leaving the 40 something author with children in their late teens and early twenties, pudgy thighs, and a long-time interest in BDSM. She takes the chance to explore an important part of her psyche and understands herself as a submissive. After years of erotica writing research she locates a master and enters into a Dom/sub sadomasochistic relationship.
I was puzzled by the lack of impact of Sarah's older children on her life. She doesn't mention cooking for her kids after her divorce. I don't know any Moms who wouldn't mention their teens as they decided to l step as radical as embarking on the BDSM lifestyle (What they would do if the child learned about it, or, if they were hurt?). It's not until the last quarter of the book that she mentions not introducing dates to her kids.
But, other than that I liked Sarah right away; she isn't arrogant, nor entirely self-deprecating. I could really feel her struggle with going from regarding herself as normal to understanding herself as kinky and that pulled me in.
I felt (just my feelings) her relationship with her master, Max, was a bit extreme in entry-level BDSM, that she did not fully and entirely know what she was going into, and that her hard limits, given the contract's text, were not sufficiently outlined. And, then, to be given a collar was pretty deep for the level of relationship, and not entirely knowing Max.
There were too many instances where, on the fly, Sarah is surprised and shocked to find out about a standard Max presents, as convention, in Dom/sub relationships. Or, if they were convention, Sarah would not be surprised by them because she would have been trained. Of course, I read romantic and erotic fictional accounts of BDSM and this is presented as a memoir. Further, it is in a different country and it is possible there are cultural differences in practice.
One thing I loved, especially given my post of two days past on hyperbole in book sex scenes, was how the writer discusses sex in a novel versus sex in real life. If you read a lot of romance and erotica, you'll find that section and most of the book amusing.
There's some real skill in how the writer moves from interest to exploration to absorption in the BDSM lifestyle; from hypothetical understanding as a writer to understanding as a practitioner. Questioning everything about it, Sarah over and over again inspects her own emotional reactions, both negative and positive, from disbelief and a "you must be joking" to "I like the place where the pain takes me."
Sarah K takes us on a palpable journey of self discovery, written with humor and heart.
I know I'm not into BDSM -- my favorite flavor really is vanilla -- but that only makes me more curious to understand it. I enjoyed Sarah's story though I was puzzled by some of the differences in BDSM practice, I think it increased my understanding. If you want to understand this mindset, I can highly recommend THE SECRET LIFE OF A SUBMISSIVE which presents the trip to submission in an engaging and amusing voice. It would be an interesting choice for a book club which wanted to look at something sexy and unusual.
Original Post: http://fangswandsandfairydust.blogspo...
A purely natural tone positioned this novel true story for high regard from page one. While amusing ,and sometimes confounding, this offers a great glimpse into the mindset of a submissive and I found it highly engaging. It's a book where voice and writing style make up for shortcomings.
Though I am not convinced, this is presented as memoir and thus we know everything from Sarah's schooled, but naive point, of view.
After a passionless marriage, successful erotica writer Sarah and her husband divorce, leaving the 40 something author with children in their late teens and early twenties, pudgy thighs, and a long-time interest in BDSM. She takes the chance to explore an important part of her psyche and understands herself as a submissive. After years of erotica writing research she locates a master and enters into a Dom/sub sadomasochistic relationship.
I was puzzled by the lack of impact of Sarah's older children on her life. She doesn't mention cooking for her kids after her divorce. I don't know any Moms who wouldn't mention their teens as they decided to l step as radical as embarking on the BDSM lifestyle (What they would do if the child learned about it, or, if they were hurt?). It's not until the last quarter of the book that she mentions not introducing dates to her kids.
But, other than that I liked Sarah right away; she isn't arrogant, nor entirely self-deprecating. I could really feel her struggle with going from regarding herself as normal to understanding herself as kinky and that pulled me in.
I felt (just my feelings) her relationship with her master, Max, was a bit extreme in entry-level BDSM, that she did not fully and entirely know what she was going into, and that her hard limits, given the contract's text, were not sufficiently outlined. And, then, to be given a collar was pretty deep for the level of relationship, and not entirely knowing Max.
There were too many instances where, on the fly, Sarah is surprised and shocked to find out about a standard Max presents, as convention, in Dom/sub relationships. Or, if they were convention, Sarah would not be surprised by them because she would have been trained. Of course, I read romantic and erotic fictional accounts of BDSM and this is presented as a memoir. Further, it is in a different country and it is possible there are cultural differences in practice.
One thing I loved, especially given my post of two days past on hyperbole in book sex scenes, was how the writer discusses sex in a novel versus sex in real life. If you read a lot of romance and erotica, you'll find that section and most of the book amusing.
There's some real skill in how the writer moves from interest to exploration to absorption in the BDSM lifestyle; from hypothetical understanding as a writer to understanding as a practitioner. Questioning everything about it, Sarah over and over again inspects her own emotional reactions, both negative and positive, from disbelief and a "you must be joking" to "I like the place where the pain takes me."
Sarah K takes us on a palpable journey of self discovery, written with humor and heart.
I know I'm not into BDSM -- my favorite flavor really is vanilla -- but that only makes me more curious to understand it. I enjoyed Sarah's story though I was puzzled by some of the differences in BDSM practice, I think it increased my understanding. If you want to understand this mindset, I can highly recommend THE SECRET LIFE OF A SUBMISSIVE which presents the trip to submission in an engaging and amusing voice. It would be an interesting choice for a book club which wanted to look at something sexy and unusual.
July 17, 2013
This review was originally posted at Pages of Forbidden Love
My Thoughts:
I didn’t really know what to expect from this book. I’ve read many adult romance books as well as erotica or BDSM themed stories. However, I have to say that this story is almost a mix between a BDSM themed story, a chick lit book, and a non-fiction biography of Sarah. It is certainly unique and not like anything I have ever read.
When I started reading the book I was a little taken back by it. The story started out very chick lit in the way it was done. There were several middle aged women sitting around a table discussing their feelings and their sex lives. I was starting to wonder if the book was going to be for me or not because I really don’t like to read books about middle aged people having a midlife crisis and going out to look for themselves. So while I did think the beginning portion of the book was interesting it wasn’t fully to my taste. As the story went on and as Sarah left her husband in order to finally look for a BDSM relationship I was a little surprised, it seemed out of character for her but I was with her rooting her on. I mean every woman deserves to find her sexual equal or try new things even after a long marriage and a divorce. Just because a woman has had kids doesn’t mean she becomes any less desirable or any less valuable in the eyes of a man. I was proud of her to stand up and take control of her own sexuality. I really feel that this book is truly about watching Sarah try to find out what works best for her and where she wants to be in life. She needed to figure out what her sexual preferences are.
Then we get to meet the Dom of the story Max. I did like him from the start and I enjoyed learning about his character and the things he had done in the past that lead him to being the Dom that he was in the book. I was happy that he was there to be the man to show Sarah all of her desires and a fair amount of pain along the way. I greatly enjoyed the fact that the author didn’t sugar coat the pain aspect of a BDSM relationship. She really laid everything out on the line for readers to read about the true lifestyle and what it really means to have a Dom and be a Sub. This is certainly no watered down Fifty where the lifestyle is so watered down that it can’t possibly be real erotica. This offered up real erotica and a real relationship and it felt so real and the characters came to life on the page. I was taken with them but I knew where the relationship would go and I was surprising happy with the way everything turned out.
Overall I’m really glad I gave this story a chance because it can be really eye opening. The author stresses that a BDSM relationship might not be best for everyone, that people do experience physical pain and yet pleasure and a sense of belonging when they are in a loving relationship as a Dom and Sub. She does not go about it to degrade women or say that everyone woman should be so open with her sexuality, she is simply sharing her story and it was a great story to read. I believe that readers who have an interest in erotica and BDSM should read this book for the erotica book feel but also mixed with real life events such as a work of non-fiction. The story is a gem that I feel hasn’t gotten a lot of air time in the blogging and book world. So do yourself a favor and give this novel a chance because I feel you will be quite happy in the end.
4/5 stars
My Thoughts:
I didn’t really know what to expect from this book. I’ve read many adult romance books as well as erotica or BDSM themed stories. However, I have to say that this story is almost a mix between a BDSM themed story, a chick lit book, and a non-fiction biography of Sarah. It is certainly unique and not like anything I have ever read.
When I started reading the book I was a little taken back by it. The story started out very chick lit in the way it was done. There were several middle aged women sitting around a table discussing their feelings and their sex lives. I was starting to wonder if the book was going to be for me or not because I really don’t like to read books about middle aged people having a midlife crisis and going out to look for themselves. So while I did think the beginning portion of the book was interesting it wasn’t fully to my taste. As the story went on and as Sarah left her husband in order to finally look for a BDSM relationship I was a little surprised, it seemed out of character for her but I was with her rooting her on. I mean every woman deserves to find her sexual equal or try new things even after a long marriage and a divorce. Just because a woman has had kids doesn’t mean she becomes any less desirable or any less valuable in the eyes of a man. I was proud of her to stand up and take control of her own sexuality. I really feel that this book is truly about watching Sarah try to find out what works best for her and where she wants to be in life. She needed to figure out what her sexual preferences are.
Then we get to meet the Dom of the story Max. I did like him from the start and I enjoyed learning about his character and the things he had done in the past that lead him to being the Dom that he was in the book. I was happy that he was there to be the man to show Sarah all of her desires and a fair amount of pain along the way. I greatly enjoyed the fact that the author didn’t sugar coat the pain aspect of a BDSM relationship. She really laid everything out on the line for readers to read about the true lifestyle and what it really means to have a Dom and be a Sub. This is certainly no watered down Fifty where the lifestyle is so watered down that it can’t possibly be real erotica. This offered up real erotica and a real relationship and it felt so real and the characters came to life on the page. I was taken with them but I knew where the relationship would go and I was surprising happy with the way everything turned out.
Overall I’m really glad I gave this story a chance because it can be really eye opening. The author stresses that a BDSM relationship might not be best for everyone, that people do experience physical pain and yet pleasure and a sense of belonging when they are in a loving relationship as a Dom and Sub. She does not go about it to degrade women or say that everyone woman should be so open with her sexuality, she is simply sharing her story and it was a great story to read. I believe that readers who have an interest in erotica and BDSM should read this book for the erotica book feel but also mixed with real life events such as a work of non-fiction. The story is a gem that I feel hasn’t gotten a lot of air time in the blogging and book world. So do yourself a favor and give this novel a chance because I feel you will be quite happy in the end.
4/5 stars
April 20, 2014
I should mention that I mostly read this book while at indoor soccer for my kids. I'm fairly certain those parents think I'm some kind of freak. Matt even picked it up, read a few pages and while looking a mixture of confused and scared while asking me if I was into this. Even my seven year old read a page when I wasn't looking and wanted to know what a flogger was.
The lesson here is to not leave this book unattended.
Basically this is the true story of Sarah, a writer who was married for quite some time and raised her children. Things in life change and after her divorce she is finally feeling like she can explore the things she basically kept hidden because her husband didn't share the same.... interests as her. So instead of just regular online dating, she starts doing research on the BDSM phenomenon after being commissioned to write an erotica novel. Realizing you write better when you write from experience, and recognizing that she is really interested in BDSM, she embarks on a journey. Who knew there was the equivalent of Match.com for people who want to find a Dom or Sub? I certainly didn't, but it completely makes sense.
So she meets Max. Max is an experienced Dom, he's handsome, he's charming, he does everything that would sweep a girl off of her feet. But he is a Dom and he makes that clear and he has expectations of Sarah. They sign a contract and she starts.
I will be honest with you. What you read in Fifty Shades is not anywhere near this. This is so much more... gritty. It feels so much more violent. In my few days of BDSM research most would balk at me saying that this is violent but in my mind, there is no other way to explain it. In Fifty Shades you have Ana as a sub but it's erotic. It's written erotically and millions of housewives ran to the sex stores and bought floggers and ben wa balls. (I may have been one of these housewives. I'm stimulating the economy as well as myself. Don't judge.) So let me just insert in here that I am not a prude. I'm a pretty open minded individual. Also let me say that there were some experiences Sarah recounts in here that made me gasp... and feel absolutely angry and horrified.
You learn about Max's back story and how he started in BDSM. I learned a LOT about the community, how it works, and what people get out of it. Well, kind of. I feel like no matter what, if you need to apply an antiseptic cream to your back after a sexual experience, that's not healthy. I'm a fan of a little slapping but if it leaves bruises or actual welts? How can you enjoy that? It's absolutely foreign to me.
Which is exactly why I loved this book.
I had to take a few days to reflect after I read this book because immediately after I finished it I was horrified. I could not understand why a human being would not only want to try this but to continue. I left this book feeling a little angry at Max, and a little annoyed with Sarah. There is one scene where she is being caned (I believe that's what it was) and she screams out her safe word half way through her "punishment". And while Max stops, he doesn't really do anything to confirm it's OK. Sarah basically talks herself into continuing. As a soft feminist, I was ANGRY with her that she would talk herself into this and how Max rewards her basically. I still don't know what to think about this.
But I want you to read it. Like right now. Read it and tell me what you think and how it makes you feel afterwards.
The lesson here is to not leave this book unattended.
Basically this is the true story of Sarah, a writer who was married for quite some time and raised her children. Things in life change and after her divorce she is finally feeling like she can explore the things she basically kept hidden because her husband didn't share the same.... interests as her. So instead of just regular online dating, she starts doing research on the BDSM phenomenon after being commissioned to write an erotica novel. Realizing you write better when you write from experience, and recognizing that she is really interested in BDSM, she embarks on a journey. Who knew there was the equivalent of Match.com for people who want to find a Dom or Sub? I certainly didn't, but it completely makes sense.
So she meets Max. Max is an experienced Dom, he's handsome, he's charming, he does everything that would sweep a girl off of her feet. But he is a Dom and he makes that clear and he has expectations of Sarah. They sign a contract and she starts.
I will be honest with you. What you read in Fifty Shades is not anywhere near this. This is so much more... gritty. It feels so much more violent. In my few days of BDSM research most would balk at me saying that this is violent but in my mind, there is no other way to explain it. In Fifty Shades you have Ana as a sub but it's erotic. It's written erotically and millions of housewives ran to the sex stores and bought floggers and ben wa balls. (I may have been one of these housewives. I'm stimulating the economy as well as myself. Don't judge.) So let me just insert in here that I am not a prude. I'm a pretty open minded individual. Also let me say that there were some experiences Sarah recounts in here that made me gasp... and feel absolutely angry and horrified.
You learn about Max's back story and how he started in BDSM. I learned a LOT about the community, how it works, and what people get out of it. Well, kind of. I feel like no matter what, if you need to apply an antiseptic cream to your back after a sexual experience, that's not healthy. I'm a fan of a little slapping but if it leaves bruises or actual welts? How can you enjoy that? It's absolutely foreign to me.
Which is exactly why I loved this book.
I had to take a few days to reflect after I read this book because immediately after I finished it I was horrified. I could not understand why a human being would not only want to try this but to continue. I left this book feeling a little angry at Max, and a little annoyed with Sarah. There is one scene where she is being caned (I believe that's what it was) and she screams out her safe word half way through her "punishment". And while Max stops, he doesn't really do anything to confirm it's OK. Sarah basically talks herself into continuing. As a soft feminist, I was ANGRY with her that she would talk herself into this and how Max rewards her basically. I still don't know what to think about this.
But I want you to read it. Like right now. Read it and tell me what you think and how it makes you feel afterwards.
March 28, 2013
Intriguing and interesting.
The book is presented as a true story, so it made me wants to discover Sarah's adventures. It's one thing to read stories romanticized about BDSM, with charming princes, even if they are a little perverted and licentious, and another to imagine living in the shoes of a real sub.
Sarah describes her process, step by step, with her questioning, fears and apprehension. The same as you readers, so that's good and reassuring.
Suddenly, the story has a an educational side and you embark on a journey within her insight thoughts.
For example, the heroine embarks on her BDSM adventure by seeking a master on the internet. Daring? Risky or completely insane? But when you ask yourself questions about a particular livestyle that you're intrigued about, Sarah explains that it is difficult and delicate to talk openly about your desires or push open the doors of a club by yourself. So the internet become the easiest way.
Once Max, her dom, is being found a contract with very specific rules are imposed on Sarah. Some, for example, as abstaining from speaking uninvited. A huge effort to ask for a majority of the female population often unable to hold their tongue! Personally, my hairs began to bristle at this moment.
But Sarah continues her discovery and the fact that you are being inviting to share her emotions and pleasures is intriguing and disturbing at the same time.
Especially when overtaking her limits, always under the benevolence of Max long accustomed to this lifestyle. So used to it that he is unable to maintain a more vanilla traditional relationship. So cuddling is unthinkable.
An invitation to an evening with BDSM friends, with dogs bowls for feeding the subs and the fact that sharing a bed is not conceivable, literally pushed me in my corner. While my mind was screaming, Sarah was seeing a form of affection. It was the evidence that she was at her place in the BDSM environment in which she was initiated.
Then the last part is more personal and certainly more romanticized too. Fellings invite themselves between Max and herself. As everyone comes with baggage, the end is bitter sweet. Certainly, the heroine ends her story by explaining to be very happy, but not necessarily as one expected or would have hoped for her to be.
From an outside point of view, I struggled to understand the blinding faith with which Sarah is bent and opened herself to Max's initiation while he kept voluntarily his share of shadows and mystery. Retention of informations and lack of honesty do not mix, in my opinion, with the contract between the Dom and his sub. This is why the end taste bitter. But again, this story is meant to be realistic or, at least, to show one way that submission can be experienced.
Very interesting because Sarah's romanced testimony show the evidences that compels you to see the practice of BDSM differently. Not a fiction but a real lifestyle.
Well written.
Lucie
http://newbooksonmyselves.blogspot.fr...
The book is presented as a true story, so it made me wants to discover Sarah's adventures. It's one thing to read stories romanticized about BDSM, with charming princes, even if they are a little perverted and licentious, and another to imagine living in the shoes of a real sub.
Sarah describes her process, step by step, with her questioning, fears and apprehension. The same as you readers, so that's good and reassuring.
Suddenly, the story has a an educational side and you embark on a journey within her insight thoughts.
For example, the heroine embarks on her BDSM adventure by seeking a master on the internet. Daring? Risky or completely insane? But when you ask yourself questions about a particular livestyle that you're intrigued about, Sarah explains that it is difficult and delicate to talk openly about your desires or push open the doors of a club by yourself. So the internet become the easiest way.
Once Max, her dom, is being found a contract with very specific rules are imposed on Sarah. Some, for example, as abstaining from speaking uninvited. A huge effort to ask for a majority of the female population often unable to hold their tongue! Personally, my hairs began to bristle at this moment.
But Sarah continues her discovery and the fact that you are being inviting to share her emotions and pleasures is intriguing and disturbing at the same time.
Especially when overtaking her limits, always under the benevolence of Max long accustomed to this lifestyle. So used to it that he is unable to maintain a more vanilla traditional relationship. So cuddling is unthinkable.
An invitation to an evening with BDSM friends, with dogs bowls for feeding the subs and the fact that sharing a bed is not conceivable, literally pushed me in my corner. While my mind was screaming, Sarah was seeing a form of affection. It was the evidence that she was at her place in the BDSM environment in which she was initiated.
Then the last part is more personal and certainly more romanticized too. Fellings invite themselves between Max and herself. As everyone comes with baggage, the end is bitter sweet. Certainly, the heroine ends her story by explaining to be very happy, but not necessarily as one expected or would have hoped for her to be.
From an outside point of view, I struggled to understand the blinding faith with which Sarah is bent and opened herself to Max's initiation while he kept voluntarily his share of shadows and mystery. Retention of informations and lack of honesty do not mix, in my opinion, with the contract between the Dom and his sub. This is why the end taste bitter. But again, this story is meant to be realistic or, at least, to show one way that submission can be experienced.
Very interesting because Sarah's romanced testimony show the evidences that compels you to see the practice of BDSM differently. Not a fiction but a real lifestyle.
Well written.
Lucie
http://newbooksonmyselves.blogspot.fr...
March 17, 2013
It's weird reviewing memoirs. You can say they're plotless and you don't like the characters, but they're real, and it's for that very reason that a memoir is plotless and you don't like the characters. So I can understand why memoir writers might take reviews of their memoirs personally.
The Secret Life of a Submissive charts Sarah K's (what, she couldn't make up a surname?) relationship with Max: how they meet, what they do, and the outside factors that eventually break them up. Yes, spoiler: this is not a romance. Or is it? The book ends on a phone call between Sarah and Alex, and the sequel memoir (due out August 2013) will chart their relationship.
Max is like many fictional Doms: good-looking, charming, and wealthy. He funds their dinners, buys Sarah clothes, pays for them to spend five days in luxury in Paris...
But he has a young daughter, and an "ill" ex who's clingy and needy, keeps ringing Sarah's mobile and her home...and shows up in Paris with her daughter to win back Max. She's not quite psychotic, but she is the story's "villain".
The book doesn't pass the Bechdel test: two or more named characters don't have a conversation that's not about men. The closest that comes is Sarah's chat with charity shop staff who help her choose tarty clothes. But the staff thinks it's for a tarts-and-vicars party, not a hotel date with her boyfriend. Max specifically requested Sarah wear something tarty, so whether the staff knew it or not, the conversation was still about a man, in a way.
For most of the story, it's all very ho-hum with some melodrama at the end. But there is one rather perhaps unintentionally funny scene: "Dog's dinner", shall we put it - you'll know it when you read it ;-) There's also talk of the reality of creating a DIY dungeon. It helps to have a carpenter who's in on the lifestyle, apparently.
But the book has icky stuff: talk of using a daughter's skipping rope in bondage sessions. This is early on. Later on, Max's daughter's teddy bear is found in the car's boot, where his BDSM stuff is. I'm totally not okay with kids' stuff and adult stuff touching. Ew.
Sarah K's The Secret Life of a Submissive beats Sophie Morgan's The Diary of a Submissive, and I think I'll tune in for the sequel.
The Secret Life of a Submissive charts Sarah K's (what, she couldn't make up a surname?) relationship with Max: how they meet, what they do, and the outside factors that eventually break them up. Yes, spoiler: this is not a romance. Or is it? The book ends on a phone call between Sarah and Alex, and the sequel memoir (due out August 2013) will chart their relationship.
Max is like many fictional Doms: good-looking, charming, and wealthy. He funds their dinners, buys Sarah clothes, pays for them to spend five days in luxury in Paris...
But he has a young daughter, and an "ill" ex who's clingy and needy, keeps ringing Sarah's mobile and her home...and shows up in Paris with her daughter to win back Max. She's not quite psychotic, but she is the story's "villain".
The book doesn't pass the Bechdel test: two or more named characters don't have a conversation that's not about men. The closest that comes is Sarah's chat with charity shop staff who help her choose tarty clothes. But the staff thinks it's for a tarts-and-vicars party, not a hotel date with her boyfriend. Max specifically requested Sarah wear something tarty, so whether the staff knew it or not, the conversation was still about a man, in a way.
For most of the story, it's all very ho-hum with some melodrama at the end. But there is one rather perhaps unintentionally funny scene: "Dog's dinner", shall we put it - you'll know it when you read it ;-) There's also talk of the reality of creating a DIY dungeon. It helps to have a carpenter who's in on the lifestyle, apparently.
But the book has icky stuff: talk of using a daughter's skipping rope in bondage sessions. This is early on. Later on, Max's daughter's teddy bear is found in the car's boot, where his BDSM stuff is. I'm totally not okay with kids' stuff and adult stuff touching. Ew.
Sarah K's The Secret Life of a Submissive beats Sophie Morgan's The Diary of a Submissive, and I think I'll tune in for the sequel.
March 24, 2013
Originally posted at: http://www.longandshortreviews.com/bo...
Erotica author Sarah K. is newly divorced and finds herself longing for the BDSM relationships she writes about in her novels. In this journey of self-discovery, we enter a world that is not for the faint of heart.
Dating sucks. Sarah K. can tell you that. After being married to a man without any motivation whatsoever, she wants to be careful who she hooks up with. Her select group of friends help her surf the local pool, but Sarah decides she wants something more. Something out of one of her racy novels. She has written about BDSM for years and wants to find a Dom to get her started. Dating websites that focus on BDSM are a mixed bag of tricks. You have to kiss a lot of frogs with strange fetishes before you find that special someone. And find him she does. Enter Max.
Max is the epitome of the quintessential Dom. Elegant, secretive, demanding and he helps Sarah awaken into the reality of becoming a submissive. No underwear, not speaking and using Sir at the end of every phrase are a challenge for her, but she slowly begins to adjust. When the punishments begin, she has to really decide whether this life is really for her. Is Max? Should she stay vanilla and let it go?
The journey within this book is heartfelt and has highs and lows. There is so much more than what I have written in this review, plot wise. Intrigue, family relationships, introductions to friends and whether to tell them what you have really been up to…Yes. Real life gets in the way of the romance and there are hard choices that have to be made. It isn’t even really a plot. It is her life. Sarah K. writes a stellar book. So much so that I can easily see this as a movie. She is a vulnerable person, but never gives up on her goals and doesn’t let tragedy swamp her.
Written with a quirky voice and an almost fiction like quality, this book is one of the best reads of the season. If you liked 50 Shades or are a fan of BDSM novels, The Secret Life of a Submissive needs to be next on your TBR list.
Erotica author Sarah K. is newly divorced and finds herself longing for the BDSM relationships she writes about in her novels. In this journey of self-discovery, we enter a world that is not for the faint of heart.
Dating sucks. Sarah K. can tell you that. After being married to a man without any motivation whatsoever, she wants to be careful who she hooks up with. Her select group of friends help her surf the local pool, but Sarah decides she wants something more. Something out of one of her racy novels. She has written about BDSM for years and wants to find a Dom to get her started. Dating websites that focus on BDSM are a mixed bag of tricks. You have to kiss a lot of frogs with strange fetishes before you find that special someone. And find him she does. Enter Max.
Max is the epitome of the quintessential Dom. Elegant, secretive, demanding and he helps Sarah awaken into the reality of becoming a submissive. No underwear, not speaking and using Sir at the end of every phrase are a challenge for her, but she slowly begins to adjust. When the punishments begin, she has to really decide whether this life is really for her. Is Max? Should she stay vanilla and let it go?
The journey within this book is heartfelt and has highs and lows. There is so much more than what I have written in this review, plot wise. Intrigue, family relationships, introductions to friends and whether to tell them what you have really been up to…Yes. Real life gets in the way of the romance and there are hard choices that have to be made. It isn’t even really a plot. It is her life. Sarah K. writes a stellar book. So much so that I can easily see this as a movie. She is a vulnerable person, but never gives up on her goals and doesn’t let tragedy swamp her.
Written with a quirky voice and an almost fiction like quality, this book is one of the best reads of the season. If you liked 50 Shades or are a fan of BDSM novels, The Secret Life of a Submissive needs to be next on your TBR list.
January 30, 2013
Sarah K's story grabbed my attention after I read a glowing review on Claire's Book Corner. The story was a true account and it was based in England which ensured that I went and bought the damn book straight away.
I would not call The Secret Life of a Submissive an erotic romance - it reads like a true, raw and honest account, sad and awkward at times, an intimate exploration of your own desires without going into surrealistic over-the-top territory which is a bane of most of erotic novels existence.
Sarah herself is an erotic writer, 40+ woman with kids. She just divorced and decided at last to give into her curiosity and desires that have been lurking within her subconsciousness for a long time. She is a real woman, she doesn't have anything extraordinary about her and she is just as vulnerable and insecure about her appearance as most of us. In truth she is endearing and very familiar, which makes you feel for her even more.
Max is older than her, he's got rich history and very specific desires, and after a series of unfortunate interviews with potential Masters through internet BDSM site, Sarah decides to try and let him introduce her to the world she is so curious to know.
Their connection is explosive and it changes both of them throughout the story while Sarah tries to adapt to Max's desires and her own peculiar, heady reaction to them. At the same time Max is telling his own story, how BDSM was introduced into his own life and how it made him the man we see now.
If you expect over dramatic reactions of Fifty Shades and non-stop inner goddess monologue, forget it. This is a great psychological, visceral exploration of dominance and submission with great sexual scenes. There is no happily-ever-after per se, but there is a positive ending that rings true and makes you a little sad but hopeful for the heroine.
I loved it. Recommended to anyone interested in quality, challenging, thought-provoking BDSM erotica.
I would not call The Secret Life of a Submissive an erotic romance - it reads like a true, raw and honest account, sad and awkward at times, an intimate exploration of your own desires without going into surrealistic over-the-top territory which is a bane of most of erotic novels existence.
Sarah herself is an erotic writer, 40+ woman with kids. She just divorced and decided at last to give into her curiosity and desires that have been lurking within her subconsciousness for a long time. She is a real woman, she doesn't have anything extraordinary about her and she is just as vulnerable and insecure about her appearance as most of us. In truth she is endearing and very familiar, which makes you feel for her even more.
Max is older than her, he's got rich history and very specific desires, and after a series of unfortunate interviews with potential Masters through internet BDSM site, Sarah decides to try and let him introduce her to the world she is so curious to know.
Their connection is explosive and it changes both of them throughout the story while Sarah tries to adapt to Max's desires and her own peculiar, heady reaction to them. At the same time Max is telling his own story, how BDSM was introduced into his own life and how it made him the man we see now.
If you expect over dramatic reactions of Fifty Shades and non-stop inner goddess monologue, forget it. This is a great psychological, visceral exploration of dominance and submission with great sexual scenes. There is no happily-ever-after per se, but there is a positive ending that rings true and makes you a little sad but hopeful for the heroine.
I loved it. Recommended to anyone interested in quality, challenging, thought-provoking BDSM erotica.
April 1, 2013
I received this book from Goodreads First Reads Giveaway.
I really appreciated Sarah telling her story of her foray into the BDSM world. This was a wonderful and engrossing read. It was written with some humor and honesty. You come to appreciate the courage it took for Sarah to finally realize what she wanted out of life and her willingness to explore her sexuality. She tells her story with a sense of vulnerability that you have when you are venturing outside of what you have known. She doesn't hesitate in showing her doubts, fears, and insecurities. This makes her tale even more compelling and alluring.
She also manages to do a great job of building the anticipation and eroticism of the scenes. I found myself really engaged and wanting to find out if she manages to trust Max and just go for it. This is more than a story of a first time submissive looking for a suitable Dominant. I also saw it as a story of a woman finally coming to accept her sexuality and coming to understand what she is looking for in a relationship. It's about finding who you are and embracing a part of you that you've spent so long denying.
All in all, I really liked this book. Sarah's honesty in expressing her doubts and worries makes it all the more compelling. It enables you to more easily believe her and like her. You appreciate her willingness to go for what she wants and in the end, realizing what she really wants for herself.
I really appreciated Sarah telling her story of her foray into the BDSM world. This was a wonderful and engrossing read. It was written with some humor and honesty. You come to appreciate the courage it took for Sarah to finally realize what she wanted out of life and her willingness to explore her sexuality. She tells her story with a sense of vulnerability that you have when you are venturing outside of what you have known. She doesn't hesitate in showing her doubts, fears, and insecurities. This makes her tale even more compelling and alluring.
She also manages to do a great job of building the anticipation and eroticism of the scenes. I found myself really engaged and wanting to find out if she manages to trust Max and just go for it. This is more than a story of a first time submissive looking for a suitable Dominant. I also saw it as a story of a woman finally coming to accept her sexuality and coming to understand what she is looking for in a relationship. It's about finding who you are and embracing a part of you that you've spent so long denying.
All in all, I really liked this book. Sarah's honesty in expressing her doubts and worries makes it all the more compelling. It enables you to more easily believe her and like her. You appreciate her willingness to go for what she wants and in the end, realizing what she really wants for herself.
April 3, 2013
The Secret Life of a Submissive is written by a well published romance/erotica writer under a pseudonym. Apparently, she had a very regular, if boring, love life and after her divorce, she decided to explore her BDSM fantasies. I thought the book was very well written. Something I would expect from an established author. I also thought the book was pretty honest. In the epilogue, she tells us that some events have been changed and conversations have probably been embellished. But, I figure that is to be expected.
So, did I enjoy the book? Yes, I did. Even though I had a hard time wrapping my brain around why someone would chose to be a submissive. I tried to go into the book with an open mind and not be judgmental I know this is just one glimpse into the lifestyle. As I said, I felt like I was reading an honest account of her experience. I felt like she was being honest with herself about her own feelings and needs. She admits that this book is not a manual , it's just a glimpse into the life based on her experience. I definitely recommend this book. While it isn't something I would choose for my life, it was an entertaining read.
So, did I enjoy the book? Yes, I did. Even though I had a hard time wrapping my brain around why someone would chose to be a submissive. I tried to go into the book with an open mind and not be judgmental I know this is just one glimpse into the lifestyle. As I said, I felt like I was reading an honest account of her experience. I felt like she was being honest with herself about her own feelings and needs. She admits that this book is not a manual , it's just a glimpse into the life based on her experience. I definitely recommend this book. While it isn't something I would choose for my life, it was an entertaining read.
May 29, 2013
This book is kind of what the cynic in me finds believable for erotica. Most of the time reading erotica/romance makes me have the unending urge to roll my eyes at the way the main character/heroine acts. Being that this book is a memoir the character uses a little less 'inner goddess' and gives a better picture of what its like being a submissive.
The dynamic of the writer and the Dom is an interesting relationship. Even thought their relationship is based on BDSM there are characteristics that are presence in even the most mundane relationship. In most erotica it seems most heroines glaze over the actually S&M part of the relationship and focus more on just the sex. IT was interesting to get the view of what was going through the characters mind all while dealing with the un-pretty parts of the relationship.
For those that want erotica but felt their brain slowly frying while reading most this is a great read. I think it would be interesting to see the authors books prior to her relationship and after her relationship.
The dynamic of the writer and the Dom is an interesting relationship. Even thought their relationship is based on BDSM there are characteristics that are presence in even the most mundane relationship. In most erotica it seems most heroines glaze over the actually S&M part of the relationship and focus more on just the sex. IT was interesting to get the view of what was going through the characters mind all while dealing with the un-pretty parts of the relationship.
For those that want erotica but felt their brain slowly frying while reading most this is a great read. I think it would be interesting to see the authors books prior to her relationship and after her relationship.
December 26, 2013
Very interesting look into how an average, divorced 40 year old woman becomes involved in a BDSM relationship. It is an embellished memoir and it is telling in how the sex scenes sound like something out of a romance novel, but it's not a negative in this type of book as the scenes were not clinical and dry. It was just all a little bit too perfect for me since with a change into an alternative lifestyle maybe I expected something not as tidy and nice. As much as a flogging could be nice, I suppose.
I just find it fascinating that someone can let another person put a collar on them and sit next to them on the floor at all times. I also find it interesting that Sarah in the end does develop an understanding of the person she is. She doesn't delve too deeply into why she is a submissive, but she does understand after the conclusion of the relationship that she is not into the BDSM lifestyle 24/7. I can feel through her words how the world of BDSM is paradoxically empowering.
Infinitely better than Fifty Shades of Grey. No virginal flower to be awakened here.
I just find it fascinating that someone can let another person put a collar on them and sit next to them on the floor at all times. I also find it interesting that Sarah in the end does develop an understanding of the person she is. She doesn't delve too deeply into why she is a submissive, but she does understand after the conclusion of the relationship that she is not into the BDSM lifestyle 24/7. I can feel through her words how the world of BDSM is paradoxically empowering.
Infinitely better than Fifty Shades of Grey. No virginal flower to be awakened here.
February 6, 2017
Pushing the limits
This was a new Author for me. I will definitely look for other books by this Author.
I really enjoyed this.
This book takes you through, someone wanting more from life, and actually how to go looking for that change.
In this case, Sarah decided she wanted more. She is an erotic writer, and although she writes about it, she just didn't comprehend how to start.
Sarah was Married, divorced, and a mother, who wanted more in life. She was tired of vanilla. So she did what everyone does now a days. Online research and sites.
Yes, she had to go through "Manacle Hands", before she found Max. How many of us had to do that in the dating game!
Max is a Dom in every sense of the word. This story is not just about Sarah. You will learn how Max became a true Dom.
Very well written. Although, I do not feel it ended as a HEA, I think Sarah grew to know what it was that she wanted.
This was a new Author for me. I will definitely look for other books by this Author.
I really enjoyed this.
This book takes you through, someone wanting more from life, and actually how to go looking for that change.
In this case, Sarah decided she wanted more. She is an erotic writer, and although she writes about it, she just didn't comprehend how to start.
Sarah was Married, divorced, and a mother, who wanted more in life. She was tired of vanilla. So she did what everyone does now a days. Online research and sites.
Yes, she had to go through "Manacle Hands", before she found Max. How many of us had to do that in the dating game!
Max is a Dom in every sense of the word. This story is not just about Sarah. You will learn how Max became a true Dom.
Very well written. Although, I do not feel it ended as a HEA, I think Sarah grew to know what it was that she wanted.
May 10, 2013
You know sometimes you pick up a book and then a few hours later you have no idea how you made the dinner but you know you were reading as you did so... and then you have to force yourself to go to sleep, and then you deliberately slow down your reading pace so you don't get too the end too quickly?
This is one of those books.
Bearing in mind it took me weeks to read my last book, this was a 2 day number and that was only because I saved the end of it for the second day.
I don't believe in spoilers but what I will say is this book is very well written by a clearly very talented author and it is also very hot (scorching). And it was pretty sad in a way that I liked as I'm not really a big fan of books where everything falls into place neatly in a manner that you rarely experience in real life.
I'm looking forward to reading more by Sarah K.
This is one of those books.
Bearing in mind it took me weeks to read my last book, this was a 2 day number and that was only because I saved the end of it for the second day.
I don't believe in spoilers but what I will say is this book is very well written by a clearly very talented author and it is also very hot (scorching). And it was pretty sad in a way that I liked as I'm not really a big fan of books where everything falls into place neatly in a manner that you rarely experience in real life.
I'm looking forward to reading more by Sarah K.
Read
January 31, 2013I'm just not exactly sure how I feel about this novel. I have no problem with the genre or what the story is about. I have more of a problem that it seems to be basically the exact same story of another erotica series I've already read. Therefor, I have mixed feelings about this and I'm still having a super hard time getting into the novel to finish. I will not review a novel that I have not read in it's entirety, so I need to take a break, come back later and see if it works for me then.
September 11, 2015
It was okay, I guess. I had it recommended as an excellent introductory book to someone who knew nothing of BDSM but I have enough friends in the lifestyle to make the book lose a star because it really brought nothing new to the table.
It did have some interesting insight on the what and whys of the submissive midset, but her not fighting for her man sorta made me cringe. This is a true story so I will leave it at that, as I am not going to criticize anyone's personal choices in life.
It did have some interesting insight on the what and whys of the submissive midset, but her not fighting for her man sorta made me cringe. This is a true story so I will leave it at that, as I am not going to criticize anyone's personal choices in life.
April 8, 2013
I thought it was a great explanation of what goes on in a newbie's mind. It also shows that being sexually submissive doesn't mean you're weak. Sarah went after what she wanted and showed great strength both in exploring her submissiveness in sex and her willingness to do what was difficult to keep her heart protected. I loved it.
April 2, 2014
Quite interesting particularly because it's true
I enjoyed reading this story and was shocked that it was true. it's a foreign concept to me so hard to really relate but the author does a good job of describing her encounters and emotions and reminding the reader just in time that she is no victim. Very insightful.
I enjoyed reading this story and was shocked that it was true. it's a foreign concept to me so hard to really relate but the author does a good job of describing her encounters and emotions and reminding the reader just in time that she is no victim. Very insightful.
April 13, 2013
I received this book as a First Reads win.
I found this very well written, and interesting. Very honest and detailed. At times it was a little heavy handed for me, but I understand this is how it is. I found it very good at explaining much of this lifestyle, in a good story fashion.
I found this very well written, and interesting. Very honest and detailed. At times it was a little heavy handed for me, but I understand this is how it is. I found it very good at explaining much of this lifestyle, in a good story fashion.
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