Emily Post's Manners in a Digital World: Living Well Online

by Daniel Post Senning, Anna Post (Foreword)

The great-great-grandson of Emily Post carries on her well-mannered tradition with netiquette rules for social media, online dating, work, and more.
 

For generations of Americans, the Emily Post Institute is the authoritative source on how to behave with confidence and tact. Manners in a Digital World is its up-to-the-minute, straight-talking guide that tackles how we should act when using a digital device or when online. As communication technologies change, our smartphones and tablets become even more essential to our daily lives, and the most polished and appropriate ways to use them often remain unclear. As anyone who has mistakenly forwarded an email knows, there are many pitfalls, too. This essential guide discusses topics such

·      Why you need a healthy digital diet that includes texts, emails, and calls
·      How to appropriately handle a breakup announcement on social media
·      What makes for the best—and the worst—online comment
·      How to maintain privacy and security for online profiles and accounts, essential for everything from banking to online dating
·      How parents and children can establish digital house rules
·      The appropriate, low-maintenance ways to separate personal and professional selves online


Emily Post’s Manners in a Digital World is for technophiles and technophobes alike—it’s for anyone who wants to navigate today’s communication environment with emotional intelligence.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help

250 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2013

About the author

Daniel Post Senning is the great-great-grandson of Emily Post and the manager of web development and online content at the Emily Post Institute. He is also a co-author of Emily Post’s Etiquette, 18th Edition: Manners for a New World. Senning is a presenter of the Emily Post Business Etiquette Seminar series, and has presented to clients around the country. He has appeared on ESPN to discuss draft etiquette, contributed to the Huffington Post, and has been featured in publications including the New York Times, Esquire, Glamour, Time, and theWall Street Journal.

Based in Burlington, Vermont, the Emily Post Institute is one of America’s most unique family businesses. In addition to authoring books, the company hosts emilypost.com and etiquettedaily.com, conducts business etiquette seminars nationwide, and offers custom wedding invitations and social stationery in partnership with M. Middleton. Members of the Post family author columns in the New York Times, the Boston Globe, and Good Housekeeping. The company recently launched e-learning programs that feature business etiquette information. Currently, two generations and five direct descendants of Emily Post and their immediate families are involved with the Emily Post Institute.

Reviews

[Jill · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I first saw the title "Manners in a Digital World", I thought "oh this is going to be good" and immediately thought of a number of people who could use a dose of manners in their digital communications. Of course, we all assume that we're behaving appropriately and that it is others who need help :) We can all cite examples of misuse and digital tools: the person yakking on a phone in the bathroom stall next to you, the colleague who takes phone calls from his wife during a meeting and discusses what to have for dinner tonight, the Facebook friend who posts the details of her PMS symptoms, the guy in the cubicle down the hall who hangs out on incredibly inappropriate websites which you can readily see when walking by, the woman who was watching YouTube videos on her laptop during a staff meeting and forgot to mute the speaker, couples who are out to dinner together but both focused on their smartphones, etc. The opportunities to display inappropriate or downright rude behavior multiply with each new digital development.

However, about halfway through the book I realized that the subtitle "Living Well Online" was a more apt description for the contents than the title. The introduction states "it's for anyone who wants to navigate today's communication environment with emotional intelligence. Protecting and fostering relationships will be our overarching goal." It's not just about manners, saying please and thank you and asking permission to step out and take a cell phone call; it's about knowing how and when to use the technology tools available to us while achieving our responsibility of treating others with respect.

The book includes chapters on netiquette, mobile devices, social networking, Facebook, Twitter, Online Communities, Gaming, Photo Sharing, Family Life, Dating, The Work World, Digital Safety, maintaining life/work balance, and last but not least dealing with serious illness and death via social media. Some chapters include much more detail on how to use the technology (such as the sections on Facebook and Twitter), with less of a focus on appropriate behavior; whereas other sections are more focused on manners (such as the chapters on mobile devices and dating).

While those of us who believe we are tech savvy and responsible users of that technology probably think that we don't have much to learn about "living well online" I did find quite a bit of practical advice on the use of Facebook and LinkedIn.

The book could be very useful to younger people who are building an online profile through various digital media, and to older people who are unsure of the reach of the technology. The material could be presented by middle school and high school teachers to their students to help them learn and model appropriate behavior. Unless you are living on a deserted island (in which case you're not reading this), you are a user of digital communications tools, and you have something to learn from the advice in this book !

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is not a read through the whole book type of book. I enjoyed flipping through the chapters that were interesting to me. It discusses questions about how to act on social networking sites, etiquette about texting in public, and some email information. Generally, this is a book to remind us of some common sense and general decency.

I wanted to get this book because I have students that are getting ready to go into the workforce. Most teenagers don't think about their social networking sites when applying for jobs. They have tagged pictures of themselves passed out drunk with a penis drawn on their face as their intro picture, or an email address that is sexykitten@gmail.com. I did a small teaching unit including parts of this book to help my teenagers realize that potential employers will check their Facebook to see what type of person they are. What image do you want to portray? With no technical skill whatsoever, employers are running mini background checks to see where the digital footprint leads them. It's important to think about digital etiquette as you are heading out into the world.

For teenagers thinking about jobs or college, this is an especially important book to glance through for new tips on cleaning up your act for becoming a professional.

[Cathryn Conroy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Although this was published in 2013, it's still surprisingly relevant. The digital world may change fast and frequently, but good manners are timeless.

Written by Daniel Post Senning, the great-great-grandson of the famed Emily Post, this book focuses classic manners—being friendly, thoughtful, considerate, sincere, and respectful—on the world of social media and mobile devices. It goes far beyond the obvious basics, such as texting while driving or talking on the phone while you're in the grocery store checkout line.

Find out:
• The top 10 mobile manners for mobile devices.
• The No. 1 behavior on social media that is THE most annoying.
• How to think about what you're posting before you post it so you consider how it will make others feel.
• Valuable tips on how to handle an online discussion that gets overheated.
• Specific digital "house rules" for parents to establish for toddlers to teens.
• Online dating tips from how to find a date to excellent safety tips.
• How to keep work at work and home at home when mobile devices continually bleed that line.
• How to use the "dinner table rule" to hold yourself accountable for everything you do online.

While there are lots of specifics in the book, here is what matters most: What you do online reflects on you. And everything you do, even though we often forget this, is public and permanent. Our online actions do have far-reaching effects.

[Lecy Beth · Rating 3 out of 5]

This manual for digital etiquette was published in 2013 and it felt dated in many spots, but it also held many good reminders for polite interaction with others online. While the book is geared toward those who want to learn about manners on online platforms, I really think that social media novices would get the most out of this, as each section gives a detailed look at each of the major platforms, how they work, and how best to use them. Not surprisingly, the chapter dedicated to Facebook was one of the longest and one of the most antiquated, since this platform seems to evolve so quickly. Some of the most noteworthy topics in this guide were about online friendships, specifically how the internet has changed the definition of a "friend" and who qualifies as such. Some remarks on a particular research study share that most humans can only healthily maintain 150 friendships, so the idea of having thousands of friends on Facebook or another site is not ideal. There is also a big emphasis on how parents set the standard for how their children will interact with digital devices, particularly when they see the adults in their lives using the cell phone while driving, during family meals, or at other times when it is serving as a distraction. "How you act online is a reflection of your character" was one of the main themes of this book and one that I believe could stand to be repeated.

[Donna Hutt Stapfer Bell · Rating 5 out of 5]

There IS Emily Post for that!

Often, the digital age of social media leaves traditional manners behind, having little or no relationship to each other. And the speed at which change occurs doesn't help. So here is the surprise - Emily Post noticed. And as always, a set of guidelines is provided to assist in finding the boundaries, let alone setting them. Good point of view to tuck away.

[Marylou · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very helpful

The book gives lots of helpful advice on etiquette in a wide variety of digital settings. It also includes advice about how to stay safe online.

[Betsy · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Emily Post Institute, the authority on all things etiquette, has just published an up-to-the-minute guide called Manners in Emily Post’s Digital World: Living Well Online. In keeping with the times, it’s the first-ever e-book to come out of the organization. The book’s author, Daniel Post Senning, has been at the helm of technology at the Emily Post Institute for years, building their first website, figuring out analytics and e-newsletters, and a WordPress blog to answer etiquette questions from the general public, among other things.

In a relatively short book, Senning covers a lot of ground. The book effectively targets the social media/mobile device novice as well as the more experienced user. It suggests the right way to coexist with technology as well as the people you interact with offline: family, friends, coworkers and even store clerks. It discusses in-depth the circumstances under which it’s acceptable to play a game on your mobile phone in public (sometimes OK), take a phone call in a public bathroom (never OK), friend an ex or a coworker online (sometimes OK), or stir up trouble in a chatroom or forum (never OK) .

The book outlines the wonderful advantages of touting your business on Facebook and other social media platforms. It gives advice on determining a website’s credibility. It suggests ways you and your family members can make rules about turning off mobile devices in favor of quality time together.

Perhaps the most power takeaway from the book appears in Chapter 4: Facebook: “You can always delete something you decide you don’t want on your wall [or on Twitter, in an email, on a dating profile, etc.], but you can’t take back the impression it made while it was visible.”

You can follow the Emily Post Institute on Twitter @EmilyPostInst and see what others are tweeting about with the #etiquette hashtag.

[Rick · Rating 3 out of 5]

When reviewing a book such as Manners in a Digital World, I want to be careful not to be rude. But you may be, like I was, wondering who Emily Post is and why she gets to write about manners. That is, you'll be wondering that if you are among those born after 1960, the year Emily Post died.

But as you can find out here, Emily Post made a name for herself by writing books on etiquette. This book on digital manners takes that same spirit and brings it into our new digital age. Daniel writes about manners on all things internet, including social do's and don'ts with cell phones.

He tackles Facebook, Twitter and the myriad of dating websites. But he doesn't stop there. Daniel approaches large portions of this book for people who are, not to put anyone down, clueless. He walks people through the expectations, both for them and from them.

At points, this made the book a bit slow to work through. Overall, however, this is a good resource. Manners are an important detail in our world. It is what helps us get along. That has not changed, even though much of our interaction has moved from face-to-face to screens of all sizes.

Many thanks to my new friends at Open Road Media. You can check out more about them at http://www.openroadmedia.com/ You can also check them out at a few other places around the world wide web. Just be sure to use your manners when you do.

Here is a YouTube video: http://youtu.be/BTzW4EzCPiE
Here's an excerpt.: http://bit.ly/10W2BLE

If you would like to engage with Dan Post or any of the Emily Post team, you can do so here.
Author Dan Post Senning on Twitter
Emily Post Institute on Twitter
Emily Post Institute on Facebook

[Sarah-Mae Adam · Rating 4 out of 5]

My number one take away:
"Keep it positive. A recent Intel survey showed that the top digital sharing behavior that annoyed survey respondents the most was people who constantly complain. You don't have to be Mary Sunshine all the time, but avoid complaints, negativity, and rants. Be careful with sarcasm, too, as it doesn't always translate well online." (Pg.56)

Skipped numverous sections relating to social media I don't participate in (twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn, etc.), but loved the guidelines provided!

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

A lot about manners is common sense. And...am I the only one who's noticed that common sense is not so common these days?

This book is a guidebook that I will be referencing and using with the young people in my life. And did I mention that I learned quite a bit (maybe it's just as fair to say that I had suspicions confirmed)?

It's well-written, well-researched, and well-done. Highly recommended.

[Josh · Rating 3 out of 5]

As the author said - he wants people to see his recommendations as being common sense. Writ large, they were & I don't think there was a whole lot of information that was brand new or revolutionary. I'd say that it serves as a repository / single source guide to keep the things you should know / be doing in one handy, easy to find, location.

[Diana Vance · Rating 4 out of 5]

Useful info on the new world of cyber manners. Would be a great gift to go along with a new smartphone or computer.