Looking for X

by Deborah Ellis

Smart and independent, 11-year-old Khyber lives with her mom, Tammy, a former stripper, and her autistic twin brothers in a poor Toronto neighborhood. Though she doesn’t have a lot in common with her classmates, Khyber does have wonderfully eccentric friends: Valerie, Toronto’s meanest waitress, and X, a homeless woman in hiding from “the secret police.” Despite having to deal with pompous social workers who make her mother cry and ignorant kids who make remarks about her brothers, Khyber manages to enjoy herself, poring over atlases, planning exotic journeys, and taking peanut butter sandwiches to X. But when Tammy decides to move her sons to a group home for proper care, Khyber’s world starts to crumble. She fights with her mom and then gets expelled from school. To make matters worse, X suddenly disappears. Khyber sets out to find her in a wild all-night odyssey of self-discovery.

Genres: Young Adult, Fiction, Middle Grade, Canada, Childrens, Realistic Fiction, International

132 pages, Paperback

First published September 1, 1999

About the author

Librarian Note: There is more than one author by this name in the Goodreads database.

Deborah Ellis has achieved international acclaim with her courageous and dramatic books that give Western readers a glimpse into the plight of children in developing countries.

She has won the Governor General's Award, Sweden's Peter Pan Prize, the Ruth Schwartz Award, the University of California's Middle East Book Award, the Jane Addams Children's Book Award and the Vicky Metcalf Award.

A long-time feminist and anti-war activist, she is best known for The Breadwinner Trilogy, which has been published around the world in seventeen languages, with more than a million dollars in royalties donated to Street Kids International and to Women for Women, an organization that supports health and education projects in Afghanistan. In 2006, Deb was named to the Order of Ontario.

Reviews

[Nova · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love Deborah Ellis' books and this did not disappoint me. Khyber is a prepubescent girl struggling with her lot in life: she doesn't like school, doesn't relate to her peers, has twin autistic brothers and money is in short supply. I love how Ellis has developed the characters in this story; they are so real and some of Khyber's struggles brought tears to my eyes. Khyber's creativity and courage are heartwarming. When Khyber is falsely accused of vandalism her solution is to run away from home to find X: someone who may be able to vouch for her. The ending was perhaps a little contrived, but generally a great read.

[Erika · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good story about a girl living in poverty in Toronto with her mother and twin autistic brothers that she protects fiercely, often with her fists.

[Maggie61 · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked up this book this weekend at a book exchange and it came highly recommended as a young teen read. I had a few misgivings since I am not a young teen or anything close to it but I am really glad I took the time to read it.
Your heart breaks for Khyber who lives in poverty with a mother and two autistic brothers in Toronto. She had no friends and way too much responsibility falls on her. She makes a friend with a homeless woman and when she gets in trouble she needs to find the homeless woman to verify that she couldn't have done what she was being accused of.
I found this book so well written and i had to remind myself that it was really a book for a much younger audience, it kept me that interested. Obviously a quick read for me but definitely worth it!

[Hollie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an enjoyable read. Being older than the targeted audience, I was still able to connect with Khyber and see how she saw the world. Living in poverty with her Mum and twin brothers, she was able to be both responsible and have her moments of childhood, especially with the soup song. Tammy, Khyber’s Mum, was doing her best and tried to make sure all of her children were being taken care of to the best of her ability. Tammy was a nice change to read as she had a different take on life.

[marissajane · Rating 2 out of 5]

Just a disclaimer, I read this book for school.

I had pretty high hopes for Looking for X. Usually the books I get assigned to read for school are dreadful to get through and about something childish like a boy and his dog, but the synopsis for this book intrigued me greatly. However, after finishing this short read, I realized how little the book focused on looking for this friend named X, and how much more it focused on Khyber and her at home life. I also did not like how the vocabulary and storyline seemed more for a younger audience (maybe 5th-6th graders) but randomly implemented things for an older audience that were irrelevant, and made the author look as if they were trying too hard to make this book for kids in their teens. Do I think that teenagers should have to read a book like this for school? No. Therefor, I give it two stars.

[Raina · Rating 4 out of 5]

'The poem Tammy gave me during my punishment week was called "The Buried Life" by Matthew Arnold. That's what I was living that week - a buried life, buried in work...
My favourite verse goes like this:

"But often, in the world's most crowded streets,
But often, in the din of strife,
There rises an unspeakable desire
After the knowledge of our buried life."

I think it means that in the middle of being busy doing stuff, you can suddenly wonder, "Who am I? What am I doing here?" I'm glad someone put that into a poem, because it's happened to me. I guess everybody loses track of where they are sometimes.'

[Neill Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Khyber is a young girl (self-named because she hates her real name) who lives with her mother and her autistic twin brothers. Her family is poor and this, along with her brother's illnesses, leads to a series of problems. Khyber is not well liked at school and is picked on by other students. When she fights back she is unfairly disciplined. Khyber befriends a street person. She names her X since X rarely speaks. When Khyber is unfairly accused of vandalism at school X is her only alibi but she has to find her.

[Joanie Andrea · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great short read for young adults. About a young, courageous, creative girl who lives with her autistic twin brothers and single mother in a tiny apartment. It's about making difficult decisions, the love and strength of family, and moving forward.

[Natty · Rating 2 out of 5]

Another set text for one of my uni subject and was not a stand out text for me, although it is geared towards a younger reader and I suspect this maybe a reason or two why I could not connect with the main character.

[Roxy · Rating 3 out of 5]

J'ai l'impression que le livre ne contient pas tant que cela. Il est très court (132 pages), donc c'est une lecture pas longue du tout (2 heures gros max). Au niveau de l'écriture, il y a très peu à analyser. Au niveau du plot, il y a très peu d'évènements. Je ne vais pas le lire avec mes élèves. D'ailleurs, la première phrase, "Mom used to be a stripper." va causer trop d'émoi parmis mes secondaires 2. Ahlala... je suis un peu déçue des choix fait par ma collègue pour le canadian literature club. Ils ne sont pas égaux et la plupart ont des thèmes trop matures pour le premier cycle du secondaire. J'ai hâte de relire Anthem, je vais l'utiliser, c'est sûr. Bref.... de retour à Indigo.com.

[Cleopatria · Rating 4 out of 5]

the first time I read this I was definitely a child. I don't think I understood a lot of the subject matter then. It was just a good book and I really related to Kybher. Rereading now that I'm older I have a greater appreciation for the characterization and story. It helps that I live in Toronto now and I have a personal connection to all the settings. It's still a great read 15 something years later.

[Alexis Armit · Rating 5 out of 5]

I recently learned that this was Deborah Ellis’ first published book. I have read many other books of her’s previously but was excited to see where it all started. This story seemed ordinary - young teen, in Regent Park gets into trouble but Khyber’s adventures (and misadventures) speak to the love and wisdom she has at such a young age.

[Happy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed reading this. I went back to how I was when I was in eleven years old. Hahahaha Like Kyhber, I used to think that I can be an explorer as well and let my imagination go as far as the other side of the world.

[Penney · Rating 4 out of 5]

“ That's how it is with change. You leave one thing behind, and there's something else to take its place. It will be like that when I finally get to go exploring. No matter how much I like a place, I'll have to leave it behind before I can go on somewhere new.”

[Sierra · Rating 3 out of 5]

Better than I expected (from the cover). Quick read

[Dyck House · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book that covers autism and child poverty.

[Nicole]

one of my favourites from junior high!

[Susan · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is a heavy story for the middle-grade audience it’s intended for. The eleven-year-old narrator, Khyber, is the child of a former stripper, living on welfare with her mother and severely autistic twin half-brothers. During the course of the story, she has a run-in with skinheads and a multiday journey through the streets of Toronto in search of her friend X, a homeless woman who suffers from mental illness.

Khyber’s five-year-old brothers, David and Daniel, are flat characters who serve as the impetus for the story’s conflicts and action rather than as distinct characters struggling with their disabilities. The twins are depicted as indistinguishable rather than as unique humans, and the author seems to have chosen to make these characters twins simply because two children with ASD are more difficult to deal with than one. Eventually, Khyber’s mother is forced to send them away to a group home to get help. Although Khyber fights this solution, the author depicts it as the only realistic way to address the twins’ disability. Khyber and her mother’s relationship with each other and the twins is loving but honest, authentically portraying the challenges of living with autistic family members, yet even this does not erase the resoundingly negative portrayal of the twin’s autism.

[Anna · Rating 2 out of 5]

After the Breadwinner trilogy, I wasn't really sure what to expect from Deborah Ellis. I love her writing and Parvana was one of my favorite YA characters but I think it'll be hard for her to match or duplicate a Breadwinner-caliber novel again. Looking for X can stand on its own as a decent YA novel (about a girl with two autistic brothers) but I didn't think it was as well developed as it could have been. The writing struck me as pretty surface level and I had a hard time buying Khyber as an 11-year-old. Most 11-year-old kids with autistic siblings are frustrated and annoyed so I had a tough time believing she would be so accepting of her two brothers. I thought the friendship with X was very unusual (I suppose that was the point?) and some parts of the novel -- like the scene in the park with the Skinheads -- seemed a bit over-the-top and random at the same time.

Maybe I was expecting too much but I felt like she didn't delve deep enough into the plot and then the ending seemed very rushed and too good to be true.

[Aseel · Rating 3 out of 5]

"But there will be other things, new things. That's how it is with change. You leave one thing behind, and there's something else to take its place. It will be like that when I finally get to go exploring. No matter how much I like a place, I'll have to leave it behind before I can go on somewhere new. I'm going to turn myself into a walking, talking backpack-full of pockets and secret compartments for tucking away memories of each place I visit. And when I finally take my place in the middle of the Khyber Pass, I'll have bits and pieces inside me from people and places all over the world, and everyone who meets me will go away thinking they've met someone very interesting indeed."

[zespri · Rating 3 out of 5]

A sweet little story aimed at young adult readers. Themes include autism and twins, both of which interest me.

Khyber is big sister to a set of autistic twins, not only big sister but her solo mother's right arm in handling the boys. When their care starts to overwhelm Khyber's mum, she decides on a course of action which sends Khyber into a tail spin.

The resolving of the issue moves the whole family forward, and Khyber learns some valuable life lessons. In her own words, "That's how it is with change. You leave one thing behind, and there's something else to take it's place."

[Melissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an early novel by Deborah Ellis but this realistic fiction novel is outstanding in the way it draws you into the character's life. The daily struggle that the protagonist faces each day is very real and very emotional. I catch myself wondering what this character might be doing today after so many years... Deborah creates tells the story of struggle with humour and dignity.

[Kate · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not sure if this underwent a title change, but I have it listed as Searching for X (with no author) and I had to do a Google search to find the author--which I did, listed with this title too! Whatever the case, I'm sure this is the book I read.

[Courtney · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love this book... it's a little easy for me now.... but still great. The opening line is total win!

[Lucas · Rating 1 out of 5]

i really didnt enjoy this book because i couldnt make any connections and it as one of deborah elliss worst novels.

[Jane Campbell · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting story with lots of discussion about the problems of growing up in a single parent family with challenged siblings and finding yourself.

[Edward Sullivan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good, realisitic story about the challenges of living in a single parent home and having to help care for autistic younger siblings.

[Mar · Rating 3 out of 5]

good book.

[Odetoemma · Rating 3 out of 5]

A very quick read about a very angry young girl. I'd definitely recommend this book to some of my more challenging students. A great Hi/Lo for teen readers.

[Edacheeky · Rating 3 out of 5]

DNF didn't have time but i read a few chapters and it was interesting especially the strange bond between the girl and the homeless stranger