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Permanent Record
Being yourself can be such a bad idea.
For sixteen-year-old Badi Hessamizadeh, life is a series of humiliations. After withdrawing from public school under mysterious circumstances, Badi enters Magnificat Academy. To make things “easier,” his dad has even given him a new name: Bud Hess. Grappling with his Iranian-American identity, clinical depression, bullying, and a barely bottled rage, Bud is an outcast who copes by resorting to small revenges and covert acts of defiance, but the pressures of his home life, plummeting grades, and the unrequited affection of his new friend, Nikki, prime him for a more dangerous revolution. Strange letters to the editor begin to appear in Magnificat’s newspaper, hinting that some tragedy will befall the school. Suspicion falls on Bud, and he and Nikki struggle to uncover the real culprit and clear Bud’s name.
Permanent Record explodes with dark humor, emotional depth, and a powerful look at the ways the bullied fight back.
For sixteen-year-old Badi Hessamizadeh, life is a series of humiliations. After withdrawing from public school under mysterious circumstances, Badi enters Magnificat Academy. To make things “easier,” his dad has even given him a new name: Bud Hess. Grappling with his Iranian-American identity, clinical depression, bullying, and a barely bottled rage, Bud is an outcast who copes by resorting to small revenges and covert acts of defiance, but the pressures of his home life, plummeting grades, and the unrequited affection of his new friend, Nikki, prime him for a more dangerous revolution. Strange letters to the editor begin to appear in Magnificat’s newspaper, hinting that some tragedy will befall the school. Suspicion falls on Bud, and he and Nikki struggle to uncover the real culprit and clear Bud’s name.
Permanent Record explodes with dark humor, emotional depth, and a powerful look at the ways the bullied fight back.
282 pages, Hardcover
First published March 5, 2013
18 people are currently reading
1002 people want to read
About the author
Leslie Stella
7 books25 followersLESLIE STELLA is the author of the YA novel, Permanent Record (March 2013, Skyscape), and three previous novels of contemporary adult fiction, Unimaginable Zero Summer, The Easy Hour, and Fat Bald Jeff. She was a founding editor of the Chicago-based politics and satire magazine Lumpen, and her work has been published in The Mississippi Review, The Adirondack Review, Bust, Easy Listener, and anthologized in The Book of Zines: Readings from the Fringe (edited by Playboy’s Chip Rowe), a collection of essays and articles from the obsessive, frequently bizarre world of zines. Leslie is a Pushcart Prize in short fiction nominee.
(I won't rate books by other authors here on Goodreads. I think there are obvious reasons why an author might feel uncomfortable doing that.)
Photo: © John McMullen 2012
(I won't rate books by other authors here on Goodreads. I think there are obvious reasons why an author might feel uncomfortable doing that.)
Photo: © John McMullen 2012
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 65 reviews
March 7, 2013
This was such a unique novel for me, in so many ways.
First of all, Stella's choice to use an Iranian/American protagonist was such a refreshing change of pace in a world of YA fiction where I find that, overwhelmingly, the landscape tends to favor main characters of a more uniform persuasion.
The fact that Badi/Bud suffers from debilitating clinical depression and an anxiety disorder further exacerbated by a lifetime of bullying from his classmates and the subsequent lack of understanding by his own family members definitely tore at my heartstrings on numerous occasions. When Stella poignantly described a face of abject misery staring back in the mirror and then proceeded to boil down the essence of Bud's compulsions down to a mole on his cheek that he obsessively scratched to the point of bleeding, I felt my own hand raise to my skin to brush away an itch I did not feel but only sensed in the blackest recesses of my soul for this lost young boy.
You'd think from of all of this that Permanent Record was a very sad, difficult book to read.
On the contrary, it was anything but -- this is a book that leaves you laughing, crying, and smiling to yourself at the resilience of spirit that lies dormant in even the most broken of us all.
Bud as a narrator is smart, at times a bit morose, but absolutely funny, and his observations of the world around him are keen and on point. He can break your heart and have you in stitches all in the same breath. He goes past the term "adorkable" and into a territory all his own.
Stella deftly weaves the Iranian culture into her work, and anyone coming from an immigrant background or raised in a first-generation family will be able to empathize with the dynamic that she portrays. It is a stark, tightrope depiction of a world in which quiet assimilation is the ultimate end goal, so long as one never loses sight of their all-imporant roots. This impossible balancing act is a struggle that ultimately ends in a sad kind of failure for all, and it is beautifully painted in the Hessamizadeh family -- right down to their attempt to Americanize their name by shedding the unpronounceable Persian portion to "Hess" at the onset of the novel.
As Bud struggles to deal with the many demons in his life and his recent change to a new school to escape the constant bullying, it seems he might finally find a measure of peace in some new friends and a possible love interest.
That is, until the terrors of his past come back to haunt him.
The novel becomes a wonderful kind of mystery as Bud and his new friends Reggie and Nikki try to figure out why someone is trying to frame Bud for a series of problems at his new school.
I thoroughly enjoyed this book, and I found Stella's writing to be insightful and her prose beautifully rendered.
This novel is for anyone who ever found themselves on the fringes of anything, or ever questioned whether they might belong for even a moment.
In other words . . . this novel should be for everyone.
First of all, Stella's choice to use an Iranian/American protagonist was such a refreshing change of pace in a world of YA fiction where I find that, overwhelmingly, the landscape tends to favor main characters of a more uniform persuasion.
The fact that Badi/Bud suffers from debilitating clinical depression and an anxiety disorder further exacerbated by a lifetime of bullying from his classmates and the subsequent lack of understanding by his own family members definitely tore at my heartstrings on numerous occasions. When Stella poignantly described a face of abject misery staring back in the mirror and then proceeded to boil down the essence of Bud's compulsions down to a mole on his cheek that he obsessively scratched to the point of bleeding, I felt my own hand raise to my skin to brush away an itch I did not feel but only sensed in the blackest recesses of my soul for this lost young boy.
You'd think from of all of this that Permanent Record was a very sad, difficult book to read.
On the contrary, it was anything but -- this is a book that leaves you laughing, crying, and smiling to yourself at the resilience of spirit that lies dormant in even the most broken of us all.
Bud as a narrator is smart, at times a bit morose, but absolutely funny, and his observations of the world around him are keen and on point. He can break your heart and have you in stitches all in the same breath. He goes past the term "adorkable" and into a territory all his own.
Stella deftly weaves the Iranian culture into her work, and anyone coming from an immigrant background or raised in a first-generation family will be able to empathize with the dynamic that she portrays. It is a stark, tightrope depiction of a world in which quiet assimilation is the ultimate end goal, so long as one never loses sight of their all-imporant roots. This impossible balancing act is a struggle that ultimately ends in a sad kind of failure for all, and it is beautifully painted in the Hessamizadeh family -- right down to their attempt to Americanize their name by shedding the unpronounceable Persian portion to "Hess" at the onset of the novel.
As Bud struggles to deal with the many demons in his life and his recent change to a new school to escape the constant bullying, it seems he might finally find a measure of peace in some new friends and a possible love interest.
That is, until the terrors of his past come back to haunt him.
The novel becomes a wonderful kind of mystery as Bud and his new friends Reggie and Nikki try to figure out why someone is trying to frame Bud for a series of problems at his new school.
I thoroughly enjoyed this book, and I found Stella's writing to be insightful and her prose beautifully rendered.
This novel is for anyone who ever found themselves on the fringes of anything, or ever questioned whether they might belong for even a moment.
In other words . . . this novel should be for everyone.
December 29, 2012
Can also be read on The Social Potato.
Thank you, NetGalley, and Amazon Children Publishing for sending a copy of the book in exchange for a review. I also would like to thank Leslie Stella for writing such a wonderful piece of work. I read it within 24 hours, and during that span of time, I've lost count of the numerous instances where my heart was about to burst out with so much outrage, excitement, frustration, happiness, sadness... the list of intense feelings could go on and on and on...
If that isn't clear enough, then yes, I thoroughly enjoyed this novel. How could I not? I'm a fan of complex, thought-provoking stories. Sure, I've read dozens of simple ones with simple-minded, one-tracked characters, and I guess they're fun to read to kill time (and come on, most movies nowadays are produced in such a way that you don't have to think), but I'll always welcome a carefully woven and intricately written novel with complicated settings and interesting characters anytime. Something that could make me think, make me pause, make me put the book down not because it was bad, but because it was so good you just had to stop in order to breathe. *huff, huff, huff* OK, I'm probably exaggerating it a little bit, but that's the gist of it. In short, Permanent Record is so, frickin' good and I'll tell you why. I'm not sure if I can tell all of my feelings properly, because damn, this book was one hell of a roller coaster ride.
First, it's complex. It enters, explores and ventures into many difficult, sensitive themes that can be hard to pull off if not executed properly, such as bullying, therapy, suicide, among many others. It's even harder to incorporate all of these themes in one story alone, but the author has done it, and she did it extremely well. Of course, there were many times where I felt deeply disturbed and frustrated, where I felt a "negative experience of contrast", in which I felt what the main character was experiencing was just unfair - that he didn't deserve the things he had to go through, and that if I could just magically go inside the book, I would, just to save him from his narrow-minded parents and vile classmates. It was written in such a way that you would actually feel what Bud Hess, our main character, was feeling, and emphatize with him in all his troubles and dilemmas. Anger. Sadness. Frustration. The book does that to you and more, involving you in all of its entirety, not sparing you from the agony Bud is forced to face. This book will evoke a strong reaction from you, thanks to the realistic characterization and the wonderfully-written internal monologue. It lets us see Bud's weaknesses and vulnerabilities but we also see his transformation and his self-acceptance.
Bud. Oh, Bud. How can I ever describe a complicated, yet adorable character such as you? One cannot describe him easily, because he is a complex individual, and this particular complexity is his charm and is what makes him distinct amongst the YA heroes out there in the same genre. The reader first meets him as a confused and lost soul who experiences frequent panic attacks; a jumble mess of a boy partly thanks to his background and heritage. Since he was Iranian, he was oftentimes discriminated, bullied, and harassed by his peers. His parents has helped nothing to fix any of these issues, and the school was even worse, as they would rather instead turn the other way in matters such as these. At first, I thought his persona was inconsistent. He would insist he had a moral code to live by, and a dozen pages later, he would want to steal and stealthily sneak in. But after knowing him more through his internal monologue, I kind of understood. Throughout his life, he had the world going against him, that now, he wants to be the one going against the world. This would explain the different "campaigns", "protests", and unconventional "acts" he has done in his new school. He was encouraged by his parents to go with the flow and endure it all, because for them, what matters is that you survive. And while it was difficult, Bud went against all the norms and everything the world expected him to take mindlessly and finally stood his own ground, and surprisingly, you become proud of him for that. Yes, Bud did some things that were not acceptable by any means and you would even think he should've taken the higher ground, but he realizes his mistakes later and learns from it, and once you get to that point of that story, you'll go, "Man, what an adventure that was."
Overall, this book is a gem. It explores the human psyche through the character of Bud, and how we can make our weaknesses our strong points. It's a compelling story that evokes strong reactions from its readers, reactions that will surely stick to them for a long time. The prose, the internal monologue, the dialogues between the characters as well as the twists (I didn't see them coming, that's for sure! But they all made sense in the end), were excellently written. It will make you sad, it will make you angry, and at the end of the journey, once our character has finally found peace within himself, you'll sigh happily and say the rough, rocky road was well worth it.
Thank you, NetGalley, and Amazon Children Publishing for sending a copy of the book in exchange for a review. I also would like to thank Leslie Stella for writing such a wonderful piece of work. I read it within 24 hours, and during that span of time, I've lost count of the numerous instances where my heart was about to burst out with so much outrage, excitement, frustration, happiness, sadness... the list of intense feelings could go on and on and on...
If that isn't clear enough, then yes, I thoroughly enjoyed this novel. How could I not? I'm a fan of complex, thought-provoking stories. Sure, I've read dozens of simple ones with simple-minded, one-tracked characters, and I guess they're fun to read to kill time (and come on, most movies nowadays are produced in such a way that you don't have to think), but I'll always welcome a carefully woven and intricately written novel with complicated settings and interesting characters anytime. Something that could make me think, make me pause, make me put the book down not because it was bad, but because it was so good you just had to stop in order to breathe. *huff, huff, huff* OK, I'm probably exaggerating it a little bit, but that's the gist of it. In short, Permanent Record is so, frickin' good and I'll tell you why. I'm not sure if I can tell all of my feelings properly, because damn, this book was one hell of a roller coaster ride.
First, it's complex. It enters, explores and ventures into many difficult, sensitive themes that can be hard to pull off if not executed properly, such as bullying, therapy, suicide, among many others. It's even harder to incorporate all of these themes in one story alone, but the author has done it, and she did it extremely well. Of course, there were many times where I felt deeply disturbed and frustrated, where I felt a "negative experience of contrast", in which I felt what the main character was experiencing was just unfair - that he didn't deserve the things he had to go through, and that if I could just magically go inside the book, I would, just to save him from his narrow-minded parents and vile classmates. It was written in such a way that you would actually feel what Bud Hess, our main character, was feeling, and emphatize with him in all his troubles and dilemmas. Anger. Sadness. Frustration. The book does that to you and more, involving you in all of its entirety, not sparing you from the agony Bud is forced to face. This book will evoke a strong reaction from you, thanks to the realistic characterization and the wonderfully-written internal monologue. It lets us see Bud's weaknesses and vulnerabilities but we also see his transformation and his self-acceptance.
Bud. Oh, Bud. How can I ever describe a complicated, yet adorable character such as you? One cannot describe him easily, because he is a complex individual, and this particular complexity is his charm and is what makes him distinct amongst the YA heroes out there in the same genre. The reader first meets him as a confused and lost soul who experiences frequent panic attacks; a jumble mess of a boy partly thanks to his background and heritage. Since he was Iranian, he was oftentimes discriminated, bullied, and harassed by his peers. His parents has helped nothing to fix any of these issues, and the school was even worse, as they would rather instead turn the other way in matters such as these. At first, I thought his persona was inconsistent. He would insist he had a moral code to live by, and a dozen pages later, he would want to steal and stealthily sneak in. But after knowing him more through his internal monologue, I kind of understood. Throughout his life, he had the world going against him, that now, he wants to be the one going against the world. This would explain the different "campaigns", "protests", and unconventional "acts" he has done in his new school. He was encouraged by his parents to go with the flow and endure it all, because for them, what matters is that you survive. And while it was difficult, Bud went against all the norms and everything the world expected him to take mindlessly and finally stood his own ground, and surprisingly, you become proud of him for that. Yes, Bud did some things that were not acceptable by any means and you would even think he should've taken the higher ground, but he realizes his mistakes later and learns from it, and once you get to that point of that story, you'll go, "Man, what an adventure that was."
Overall, this book is a gem. It explores the human psyche through the character of Bud, and how we can make our weaknesses our strong points. It's a compelling story that evokes strong reactions from its readers, reactions that will surely stick to them for a long time. The prose, the internal monologue, the dialogues between the characters as well as the twists (I didn't see them coming, that's for sure! But they all made sense in the end), were excellently written. It will make you sad, it will make you angry, and at the end of the journey, once our character has finally found peace within himself, you'll sigh happily and say the rough, rocky road was well worth it.
March 23, 2013
Have you ever been an outcast who doesn’t fit? Were you picked on, bullied, emotionally and possibly physically assaulted for being different? Worse, were you ever one of the bullies? Leslie Stella has told the nightmarish story of a young Iranian-American boy who was the constant object of ridicule and scorn because he was different. Suffering from debilitating clinical depression and an anxiety disorder , Badi/Ben not only suffers at school as an outcast, but receives little to no support from his family at home. It seems everyone has turned their backs on him, teachers, school officials, everyone. In a fit of rage, Badi strikes back, causing him to be placed in another school. Emotionally crippled, his father’s only solution? Change the family name to something more American sounding and once again, admonish ‘Ben’ to stay out of trouble. Of course, Ben is still different; he doesn’t even like the same things other kids do, so once again, he does NOT fit in. Fortunately, he has finally found true friends in two other outcasts.
What Ben has to endure, from false accusations, to brutal beatings for a stand he bravely took is unconscionable. That his classmates were so insecure as to need to bully someone who was not a cookie-cutter version of themselves, is a frightening testament to society’s lack of acceptance of the individual who dares to utilize the concepts of our constitution. In his mind, Ben was trying so hard to be moral, to do the right things no matter what, but his own mental health issues often got in his way. He fashions a way to seek revenge, open the eyes of those around, but can he go through with it?
Without going into more of the plot, I have to say that Leslie Stella has written a must read for EVERYONE, INCLUDING teachers, parents and students. Her writing was so deeply charged with emotion and detail, I felt I was there, watching this, unable to help. I was angry, sad and confused that adults would even go so far as to take advantage of Ben and his plight. Well written with well-defined characters, a moving and gritty plot, this is an amazing read!
This edition was provided by NetGalley and Amazon Children's Publishing in exchange for my honest review.
What Ben has to endure, from false accusations, to brutal beatings for a stand he bravely took is unconscionable. That his classmates were so insecure as to need to bully someone who was not a cookie-cutter version of themselves, is a frightening testament to society’s lack of acceptance of the individual who dares to utilize the concepts of our constitution. In his mind, Ben was trying so hard to be moral, to do the right things no matter what, but his own mental health issues often got in his way. He fashions a way to seek revenge, open the eyes of those around, but can he go through with it?
Without going into more of the plot, I have to say that Leslie Stella has written a must read for EVERYONE, INCLUDING teachers, parents and students. Her writing was so deeply charged with emotion and detail, I felt I was there, watching this, unable to help. I was angry, sad and confused that adults would even go so far as to take advantage of Ben and his plight. Well written with well-defined characters, a moving and gritty plot, this is an amazing read!
This edition was provided by NetGalley and Amazon Children's Publishing in exchange for my honest review.
April 16, 2013
Yes, I gave this book five stars. Because this is a book that will stop people in their tracks, will inspire. I'm not gonna lie, I teared up a little bit at the end, too. I think it's Stella's best book, hands-down. Absolutely complete, there are no holes in this story--it's tight, compelling, heartwarming, funny, and credibly set in Chicago (and in my old neighborhood of eight years, so even better for me).
Teenagers are going to flip for this book. It is truly speaking their language, but not through an overuse of slang or idiotic text-speak--it speaks their emotional language. Stella somehow successfully channels the cross-cultural voice of an Iranian-American teenage boy, and the peek inside his head is sure to resonate tremendously with teens everywhere. This book unflinchingly takes on some of the heaviest aspects of growing up--feeling like an outsider, struggling to figure out one's place in the world, wrestling with new emotions and maturing relationships, the nature of respect--and deftly presents them with honesty, and even a little hope.
This book is powerful, it could really make a difference in someone's life, in the way we look at each other as human beings. And it really solidifies Stella's place as an honest-to-god Author, not just someone scribbling passably amusing, popular bon mots. Someone has to read this and immediately think, "Movie!"--it's practically screaming it from the page! Couldn't recommend it more.
Teenagers are going to flip for this book. It is truly speaking their language, but not through an overuse of slang or idiotic text-speak--it speaks their emotional language. Stella somehow successfully channels the cross-cultural voice of an Iranian-American teenage boy, and the peek inside his head is sure to resonate tremendously with teens everywhere. This book unflinchingly takes on some of the heaviest aspects of growing up--feeling like an outsider, struggling to figure out one's place in the world, wrestling with new emotions and maturing relationships, the nature of respect--and deftly presents them with honesty, and even a little hope.
This book is powerful, it could really make a difference in someone's life, in the way we look at each other as human beings. And it really solidifies Stella's place as an honest-to-god Author, not just someone scribbling passably amusing, popular bon mots. Someone has to read this and immediately think, "Movie!"--it's practically screaming it from the page! Couldn't recommend it more.
June 3, 2013
Set in the Rogers Park neighborhood of Chicago, this YA novel has a very realistic quality to it. Badi/Bud, the main character, has an edge to him - his anger and angst gives his narrative a unique and entertaining flow. But the book tackles harder issues than a lot of the YA fluff - Badi has been victimized at first his public school, and now at his new Catholic school as well. Along with bullying, the book also tackles racism, diversity and the relationships present in a school setting. The book opens with Badi’s fresh start at junior year of high school - complete with a new, “Americanized” name: Bud Hess.
Stella skillfully narrates in Badi/Bud’s own voice - but she also does a wonderful job of bringing both the major and minor characters to life. It is a fast-paced story that quickly becomes impossible to set aside. The “issues” in the big book are dealt with in a straightforward way and the tone is never condescending or trivial. Badi/Bud’s narration has a remarkably authentic quality to it. It’s a very well done novel and the Chicago setting adds to the story, as well as to the humour. It is always fun to see a setting play an important role and most of the details add to the realistic edge of the book (other than one CTA snafu - no one would take a bus one block!).
Still, it is an impressive debut into the YA market, and it makes me quite curious about Stella’s previous books geared towards adults. What a talent!
Stella skillfully narrates in Badi/Bud’s own voice - but she also does a wonderful job of bringing both the major and minor characters to life. It is a fast-paced story that quickly becomes impossible to set aside. The “issues” in the big book are dealt with in a straightforward way and the tone is never condescending or trivial. Badi/Bud’s narration has a remarkably authentic quality to it. It’s a very well done novel and the Chicago setting adds to the story, as well as to the humour. It is always fun to see a setting play an important role and most of the details add to the realistic edge of the book (other than one CTA snafu - no one would take a bus one block!).
Still, it is an impressive debut into the YA market, and it makes me quite curious about Stella’s previous books geared towards adults. What a talent!
March 29, 2013
I really enjoyed this book. It’s rare enough to find a main character that is male in YA, let alone one that is Iranian. That alone makes this book fresh and interesting. Badi’s story is one that a lot of people can at least recognize, if not relate personally. These are characters that you see at every high school across America. While you’re reading, you can’t help but feel like you are Badi. Each action by each supporting character made me just as upset as he felt. I would get so angry at his classmates and his family for treating him that way, but that was part of what made this so good. They all acted just the way they should. No one was perfect, not even the “manic pixie dream girl”.
There are two things that could have been a bit better. There was almost a lopsided love triangle here. Badi likes Nikki, who seems uninterested in him in that way. Mila likes Badi, who seems like he could possibly like her in that way but can’t because he likes Nikki. I think it was distracting to the story, and would have been better if only one of those situations were happening, since nothing...
Full Review at my blog [image error]Drunk On Pop.
There are two things that could have been a bit better. There was almost a lopsided love triangle here. Badi likes Nikki, who seems uninterested in him in that way. Mila likes Badi, who seems like he could possibly like her in that way but can’t because he likes Nikki. I think it was distracting to the story, and would have been better if only one of those situations were happening, since nothing...
Full Review at my blog [image error]Drunk On Pop.
August 31, 2014
I received a copy of this book as an ARC/Firstreads Giveaway, so thank you.
I couldn't put this book down; I tore through it. I'm thrilled to see a male protagonist in a work of Realistic Fiction- an Iranian male protagonist at that. I think it's an especially important book to put into teens' hands within the context of the current geopolitical events. If I were a high school teacher, this would be a great book to connect students to and it would stimulate great human, cultural, and political conversations.
It is hard to define this book: it is simultaneously a mystery, a story of family, and a bildungsroman all at once. It also addresses issues of mental illness and bullying as well.
I loved the tone of the book and felt it to be true/realistic. Sadly, there is no dumbing down of the very real issues that face Badi/Bud, the protagonist; it is so painful to see and feel what this boy endures (depression, ethnic stereotyping, bullying, acclimating to a new school).
I was also drawn to the mystery of the book. I won't go into what that mystery is, but I was wrong about how I thought the story would turn/resolve itself-several times, I might add!
This is a tough book throughout, so I would recommend it to older teens, and yet, it's an important story to tell.
I couldn't put this book down; I tore through it. I'm thrilled to see a male protagonist in a work of Realistic Fiction- an Iranian male protagonist at that. I think it's an especially important book to put into teens' hands within the context of the current geopolitical events. If I were a high school teacher, this would be a great book to connect students to and it would stimulate great human, cultural, and political conversations.
It is hard to define this book: it is simultaneously a mystery, a story of family, and a bildungsroman all at once. It also addresses issues of mental illness and bullying as well.
I loved the tone of the book and felt it to be true/realistic. Sadly, there is no dumbing down of the very real issues that face Badi/Bud, the protagonist; it is so painful to see and feel what this boy endures (depression, ethnic stereotyping, bullying, acclimating to a new school).
I was also drawn to the mystery of the book. I won't go into what that mystery is, but I was wrong about how I thought the story would turn/resolve itself-several times, I might add!
This is a tough book throughout, so I would recommend it to older teens, and yet, it's an important story to tell.
May 27, 2013
I will not spoil the ending of this one, but darn it, it really makes the novel a keeper.
One thing you have to have in any novel about high school are a memorable and lovable supporting cast. Badi is a strong narrator, who is very in touch with his panic attacks and his appetite destroying depression, both of these conditions are expertly written by Stella. And Badi suffers A LOT more than other young adult heroes. By the end of the novel, he is bandaged and bruised.
Stella manages to capture Badi's voice as sympathetic, lost, and irrational. Nikki and Mila are great characters and really move Badi forward by confusing, inspiring, and protecting him. The ambiguity feels real.
The one thing I really loved about Permanent Record was it allowed the kids to be really bad detectives - which felt clever and authentic to the self-important, yet isolating world of high school.
I think everyone would enjoy this, but boys and reluctant readers will be on the edge of their seat rooting for and against Badi as he twists and turns his way though treacherous waters.
One thing you have to have in any novel about high school are a memorable and lovable supporting cast. Badi is a strong narrator, who is very in touch with his panic attacks and his appetite destroying depression, both of these conditions are expertly written by Stella. And Badi suffers A LOT more than other young adult heroes. By the end of the novel, he is bandaged and bruised.
Stella manages to capture Badi's voice as sympathetic, lost, and irrational. Nikki and Mila are great characters and really move Badi forward by confusing, inspiring, and protecting him. The ambiguity feels real.
The one thing I really loved about Permanent Record was it allowed the kids to be really bad detectives - which felt clever and authentic to the self-important, yet isolating world of high school.
I think everyone would enjoy this, but boys and reluctant readers will be on the edge of their seat rooting for and against Badi as he twists and turns his way though treacherous waters.
April 26, 2015
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Permanent Record Review
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Full formatting of this review at link above.
See the author interview at link above!
I really enjoyed PERMANENT RECORD. It was probably the most.. real book I have ever read. The cast of characters was phenomenal, each one different. I was surprised at how even the minor characters added so much depth to the story.
Badi Hessamizadeh, AKA "Bud Hess," might be just my favorite male narrator ever. He is picked on in school for being a little different, and one day-someone brings him over the edge. The consequences are life-changing. Badi's father changes his name to be more "American." Bud is enrolled in a new school with a new start, but the mystery behind his leaving his old school follows him-and it doesn't want to seem to let go.
Badi finds friends in two people from the school's newspaper. Nikki and Reggie. These two are a little strange, a little different-but just like Badi. They were the perfect friends for him, and I enjoyed reading about their dynamic and their close relationship. The romance that bloomed between each was so pure and real, it was such a fresh experience. No insta-love here.
During this story, Badi's history seems to be repeating itself. He begins to be bullied again, and now someone is framing him for various things happening around the school. He is being targeted because of his race the most. Just like at his old school, Badi is reaching the end of his patience with his bullies. He has a plan, one that will "fix" everything. A very dangerous plan, indeed.
Leslie Stella does a fantastic job on touching the sensitive issue of racism by creating a fictional background complete with characters you can't help but love. This is a story we all can relate to-because we have all been bullied once or twice. It is what you do about it that defines you. We learn this lesson right along with Badi. I just had to have her for an interview about this novel!
Permanent Record Review
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Full formatting of this review at link above.
See the author interview at link above!
I really enjoyed PERMANENT RECORD. It was probably the most.. real book I have ever read. The cast of characters was phenomenal, each one different. I was surprised at how even the minor characters added so much depth to the story.
Badi Hessamizadeh, AKA "Bud Hess," might be just my favorite male narrator ever. He is picked on in school for being a little different, and one day-someone brings him over the edge. The consequences are life-changing. Badi's father changes his name to be more "American." Bud is enrolled in a new school with a new start, but the mystery behind his leaving his old school follows him-and it doesn't want to seem to let go.
Badi finds friends in two people from the school's newspaper. Nikki and Reggie. These two are a little strange, a little different-but just like Badi. They were the perfect friends for him, and I enjoyed reading about their dynamic and their close relationship. The romance that bloomed between each was so pure and real, it was such a fresh experience. No insta-love here.
During this story, Badi's history seems to be repeating itself. He begins to be bullied again, and now someone is framing him for various things happening around the school. He is being targeted because of his race the most. Just like at his old school, Badi is reaching the end of his patience with his bullies. He has a plan, one that will "fix" everything. A very dangerous plan, indeed.
Leslie Stella does a fantastic job on touching the sensitive issue of racism by creating a fictional background complete with characters you can't help but love. This is a story we all can relate to-because we have all been bullied once or twice. It is what you do about it that defines you. We learn this lesson right along with Badi. I just had to have her for an interview about this novel!
July 9, 2013
PERMANENT RECORD was already getting rave reviews when I read it, but I found it disappointing. I never really connected to the main character or story. Badi Hessamizadeh is starting over at private school following being kicked out of his previous school for destructive behavior. He quickly starts to make waves, especially by refusing to participate in the chocolate bar fundraiser.
I thought the parallels with THE CHOCOLATE WAR (which Badi is reading in school) were clever, but never really went anywhere. The book does develop a mystery, when a anonymous letters criticizing the sale start showing up in the school newspaper. Badi is desperate to clear his name. I suspected the actual culprit, but thought that it was a nice reveal. I also liked the friendship storyline, as Badi starts to connect to a couple of other outcasts who don't mind his depression, anxiety, and anger. But I just didn't empathize with him. He's got the flaws I normally like in protagonists, especially his self-absorbation, but no real motivation to work on his flaws.
January 6, 2021
First of all, Badi is an awesome name.
It's a story about an Iranian American teenager whose anxiety is destroying his life. His family is well-meaning but the opposite of helpful. Badi's relationship with his parents sells this story, it's realistic and utterly sad because you can tell there can be no progress until he moves out and builds an acceptable facade (or doesn't, and never talks to mom and dad again). They're hurting but don't understand why therapy and depression are a thing, he's hurting because they aren't on his side. Familiar stuff. But there's hope anyway.
3.5* from me, this book is sometimes great but just okay in general.
It's a story about an Iranian American teenager whose anxiety is destroying his life. His family is well-meaning but the opposite of helpful. Badi's relationship with his parents sells this story, it's realistic and utterly sad because you can tell there can be no progress until he moves out and builds an acceptable facade (or doesn't, and never talks to mom and dad again). They're hurting but don't understand why therapy and depression are a thing, he's hurting because they aren't on his side. Familiar stuff. But there's hope anyway.
3.5* from me, this book is sometimes great but just okay in general.
January 28, 2021
Permanent Record was not a book I was originally expecting to like if I'm being honest. I only chose it because I needed a book to read and then I didn't feel like exchanging it for something else halfway through. The narrator, Bud Hess, writes in a very unique way, using peculiar diction to show how he truly stands out from a crowd. He has a way of turning subjects that are hard to talk about into casual topics that can be talked about over lunch. Bud has a way of making everything seem more understandable and less dramatic than how it might be. Personally, the story would not have been my first choice but nonetheless it made for a pretty interesting read.
April 29, 2019
More suited for middle grade
I really liked how the author handled the topic of mental illness. I loved that the MC was a POC. The wtiting was easy to follow, but didn't really feel like all of the conflict got resolved. I feel bad for giving it a one star. It wasn't a bad book. I just wouldn't ever read it again or recommend it to anyone.
I really liked how the author handled the topic of mental illness. I loved that the MC was a POC. The wtiting was easy to follow, but didn't really feel like all of the conflict got resolved. I feel bad for giving it a one star. It wasn't a bad book. I just wouldn't ever read it again or recommend it to anyone.
April 18, 2019
The book was okay. I felt like the author focused too much on making Bud easy to relate to. It just ended up seeming that the author is very out of touch with youth.
April 28, 2015
Adolescence is tough and is getting tougher each generation it would seem. When you're dealing with additional external, unprovoked and unpleasant factors, coupled with a brain that doesn't process things the way everyone else's mind does, you're facing a severely stacked deck. Meet Badi Hessamizadeh, age 16, a 2nd generation Iranian living in America post 9/11. He's about to start at a private Catholic high school after experiencing some major problems at his public school last year. Those included an exploding toilet, unmercifal bullying and a serious suicide attempt. His parents are pretty lacking in understanding, more interested in trying to keep their heads down and fit in while pursuing the American dream. Badi's only family ally is his older brother Dariush who's just slightly better able to cope with the world than his younger brother. He's unemployed, smokes marijuana every day and is on the verge of being kicked out of the family apartment complex, but he really understands what Badi's going through. Unfortunately, he's also decided that life in America for the likes of him and his brother pretty much sucks, not a very reassuring picture of the future, thinks Badi.
Before he starts at Magnificat Academy, he's hit with another emotional jolt. His dad has gone to court and changed Badi''s name, thinking a shorter, Americanized one will help hide the connection to the disasters at his former school. Badi is now Bud Hess. This is the sort of thing Badi/Bud has been dealing with all his life without a parental ear to hear how difficult things like this are. Bud suffers from depression and panic attacks which are exacerbated not only by things like the bullying, but by his constant stream of consciousness which is not only incredibly insecure, but tends to jump to conclusions (generally wrong, usually framing the situation in the worst possible light.)
As much as he wants to start at Magnificat with a clean slate, his mind betrays him almost from the git-go. He's been stockpiling the medications his psychiatrist prescribed following his suicide attempt because they make him feel even less in touch with reality. As much as he wants to be honest with other people, his thought process and bad experiences pretty much prevent him from doing so. When he meets Nikki, who is as funky in some ways as he, his hopes rise as he thinks he might have found a friend and maybe more. He has much the same feeling when chess whiz Reggie also befriends him, but his locked-in thoughts make letting go and trusting them next to impossible. Badi/Bud is a perfect example of the AA adage 'my mind is a dangerous neighborhood, I should never go there alone.'
When he joins the school newspaper staff, his first article creates waves. He was supposed to write a puff piece on the annual junior class candy bar sale. If the students meet their fund raising goal, they get a day off. This strikes Bud as absurd. Why not simply skip if you want a day off. Although his piece is rewritten, it sparks something in an anonymous person as letters to the editor that resemble his way of thinking mysteriously appear in three separate editions, even though the final copy has supposedly been vetted by the principal. They cause an uproar and despite his protests to the contrary, many students believe Badi/Bud is the letter writer.
This sadly familiar type of stress and the bullying behavior it triggers, coupled with deteriorating things at home, send Bud down a very similar road to the one which ended up in his leaving public school and trying to end his life. Who wrote the letters, how his relationships with Nikki and Reggie shake out, who the letter writer really is, coupled with what he does at the Homecoming dance will keep readers glued to the pages, turning them until they reach what is a very decent wrap-up.
Having grown up with some of the same feelings of not belonging and unable to decipher social settings myself, plus 27 years working in the mental health field made me really appreciate this book. Badi/Bud is pretty well constructed as are his difficulties in processing and deciphering his immediate world. This is as much a mystery as it is a story about how devastating bullying can be, especially when heaped on top of things like panic attacks and depression. Teens and parents would do well to read this book and then reflect on teens they know who don't quite fit in. It's an excellent choice for any library where selecting intelligent and intriguing books for teens is important.
Before he starts at Magnificat Academy, he's hit with another emotional jolt. His dad has gone to court and changed Badi''s name, thinking a shorter, Americanized one will help hide the connection to the disasters at his former school. Badi is now Bud Hess. This is the sort of thing Badi/Bud has been dealing with all his life without a parental ear to hear how difficult things like this are. Bud suffers from depression and panic attacks which are exacerbated not only by things like the bullying, but by his constant stream of consciousness which is not only incredibly insecure, but tends to jump to conclusions (generally wrong, usually framing the situation in the worst possible light.)
As much as he wants to start at Magnificat with a clean slate, his mind betrays him almost from the git-go. He's been stockpiling the medications his psychiatrist prescribed following his suicide attempt because they make him feel even less in touch with reality. As much as he wants to be honest with other people, his thought process and bad experiences pretty much prevent him from doing so. When he meets Nikki, who is as funky in some ways as he, his hopes rise as he thinks he might have found a friend and maybe more. He has much the same feeling when chess whiz Reggie also befriends him, but his locked-in thoughts make letting go and trusting them next to impossible. Badi/Bud is a perfect example of the AA adage 'my mind is a dangerous neighborhood, I should never go there alone.'
When he joins the school newspaper staff, his first article creates waves. He was supposed to write a puff piece on the annual junior class candy bar sale. If the students meet their fund raising goal, they get a day off. This strikes Bud as absurd. Why not simply skip if you want a day off. Although his piece is rewritten, it sparks something in an anonymous person as letters to the editor that resemble his way of thinking mysteriously appear in three separate editions, even though the final copy has supposedly been vetted by the principal. They cause an uproar and despite his protests to the contrary, many students believe Badi/Bud is the letter writer.
This sadly familiar type of stress and the bullying behavior it triggers, coupled with deteriorating things at home, send Bud down a very similar road to the one which ended up in his leaving public school and trying to end his life. Who wrote the letters, how his relationships with Nikki and Reggie shake out, who the letter writer really is, coupled with what he does at the Homecoming dance will keep readers glued to the pages, turning them until they reach what is a very decent wrap-up.
Having grown up with some of the same feelings of not belonging and unable to decipher social settings myself, plus 27 years working in the mental health field made me really appreciate this book. Badi/Bud is pretty well constructed as are his difficulties in processing and deciphering his immediate world. This is as much a mystery as it is a story about how devastating bullying can be, especially when heaped on top of things like panic attacks and depression. Teens and parents would do well to read this book and then reflect on teens they know who don't quite fit in. It's an excellent choice for any library where selecting intelligent and intriguing books for teens is important.
March 23, 2013
"Even assholes are people, too."
Badi, an Iranian-American boy, is starting at a private Catholic academy after a series of incidents at his public school. He was the target of terrible bullying, so this is his chance to start over again. And he'll not only be starting over in a hew school and meeting new people, he's now got a new name: Bud Hess.
He's not thrilled about any of this, but he is excited about meeting Nikki, a girl who takes a shine to him. And there's Reggie, who may or may not be someone Bud can call a friend, especially since he seems to be all over Nikki and a little jealous that Nikki wants to have some sort of relationship with Bud.
When a series of anonymous letters start showing up in the school newspaper, pitting student organization against student organization, everyone suspects it's the new kid. He's there to stir things up. And since Bud refuses to take part in the annual chocolate bar sale that funds the student organizations, it seems like it could be no one else who wrote the letters.
Then Bud finds himself the victim of bullying again.
Stella's book isn't as simple as it sounds, though. This isn't a book where Bud is the perpetual victim. He's had a fair share of bullying, for sure, but he's also done a bunch of terrible things himself. A lot of them are the result of his status as the bullied, but
Bud's going to get revenge though. He's going to show everyone that he's not someone to mess with. He's going to do something very bad at Homecoming because it's going to be the word he needs to get in.
This book is a modernization of The Chocolate War. Any reader who knows Cormier's book will see the parallels. I almost felt like Stella tipped her hand a little bit too much, though: when the teacher and advisor of the student newspaper decides she wants to tech the novel but can't because the administration wouldn't want her to, I felt like the parallels them because way TOO obvious. I actually ended up reading the book differently at that point because I couldn't separate the classic from the updated spin on the story.
That said, when that scene happens, I felt like Stella hit her stride in writing and in developing Badi as a character. For the first third of the book, the writing wasn't fluid, the characters were fairly flat, and it was a little slow. But then it settled and the reading experience changed. I wouldn't call it perfect -- there were still some odd turns of phrase and on the whole the writing was merely serviceable -- but I found myself enjoying the story a lot more. I liked feeling conflicted about Badi and I liked questioning who was or wasn't right in the story. I did not care so much about the blossoming romance/non-romance with Nikki, as it felt added on.
The book ends a little too neatly and cleanly, but overall, it's a worthwhile read, especially in light of how well it handles racial tensions in addition to bullying and the idea of standing up for a cause. Pass it along to readers who liked Cormier's novel or like novels that are modernizations of the story. Badi, of course, learns a lesson here, and it's that even assholes are people and they don't deserve to be "shown" what it's like to be picked on. He also learns it's okay to like himself as he is and own his identity.
Badi, an Iranian-American boy, is starting at a private Catholic academy after a series of incidents at his public school. He was the target of terrible bullying, so this is his chance to start over again. And he'll not only be starting over in a hew school and meeting new people, he's now got a new name: Bud Hess.
He's not thrilled about any of this, but he is excited about meeting Nikki, a girl who takes a shine to him. And there's Reggie, who may or may not be someone Bud can call a friend, especially since he seems to be all over Nikki and a little jealous that Nikki wants to have some sort of relationship with Bud.
When a series of anonymous letters start showing up in the school newspaper, pitting student organization against student organization, everyone suspects it's the new kid. He's there to stir things up. And since Bud refuses to take part in the annual chocolate bar sale that funds the student organizations, it seems like it could be no one else who wrote the letters.
Then Bud finds himself the victim of bullying again.
Stella's book isn't as simple as it sounds, though. This isn't a book where Bud is the perpetual victim. He's had a fair share of bullying, for sure, but he's also done a bunch of terrible things himself. A lot of them are the result of his status as the bullied, but
Bud's going to get revenge though. He's going to show everyone that he's not someone to mess with. He's going to do something very bad at Homecoming because it's going to be the word he needs to get in.
This book is a modernization of The Chocolate War. Any reader who knows Cormier's book will see the parallels. I almost felt like Stella tipped her hand a little bit too much, though: when the teacher and advisor of the student newspaper decides she wants to tech the novel but can't because the administration wouldn't want her to, I felt like the parallels them because way TOO obvious. I actually ended up reading the book differently at that point because I couldn't separate the classic from the updated spin on the story.
That said, when that scene happens, I felt like Stella hit her stride in writing and in developing Badi as a character. For the first third of the book, the writing wasn't fluid, the characters were fairly flat, and it was a little slow. But then it settled and the reading experience changed. I wouldn't call it perfect -- there were still some odd turns of phrase and on the whole the writing was merely serviceable -- but I found myself enjoying the story a lot more. I liked feeling conflicted about Badi and I liked questioning who was or wasn't right in the story. I did not care so much about the blossoming romance/non-romance with Nikki, as it felt added on.
The book ends a little too neatly and cleanly, but overall, it's a worthwhile read, especially in light of how well it handles racial tensions in addition to bullying and the idea of standing up for a cause. Pass it along to readers who liked Cormier's novel or like novels that are modernizations of the story. Badi, of course, learns a lesson here, and it's that even assholes are people and they don't deserve to be "shown" what it's like to be picked on. He also learns it's okay to like himself as he is and own his identity.
May 4, 2018
Young adult - outcast(s) - immigrants (Iran/First gen) - "Americanizing" names - mental illness - bullying - parent/teen relationships - bombmaking - fantasy vs reality; Better than average, a good read for all ages, tween & up. CHARACTER/40 STORY/40 LANGUAGE 10 PLACE 10
July 25, 2015
I'm torn about Permanent Record, I really am. I should have loved it, but I didn't. Some parts I enjoyed and some parts I didn't. I'm so conflicted.
Badi Hessamizadeh is an Iranian-American teenager living in Chicago. He's been bullied a lot for his ethnicity and sort of quirky personality. His family doesn't seem to care, thinking he should just focus on his studies rather than concerning himself with how other kids see him, and everything just snowballs -- to the point where he blows up a toilet to get back at the jocks who abuse him. Add to this a suicide attempt, and his father realizes something needs to change. Mr. Hessamizadeh changes Badi's name to Bud Hess and enrolls him in Magnificat Academy, a private school, to give him a fresh start.
Things look like they might be different for Bud at Magnificat. He makes a couple friends, Nikki and Reggie, right off the bat, and even joins the school newspaper. But things soon start spinning out of control as Bud refuses to participate in the school chocolate bar fundraiser (I remember these from my time in Catholic high school), the school newspaper starts getting anonymous letters calling for rebellion, and the Magnificat jocks learn of Bud's real name and the problems he had at his old school.
I had no problem with this part of the story. The writing was fine, but not spectacular, and the plot moved along slowly but steadily. I liked Nikki and Reggie and was proud of Bud for making some real friends. But then, seemingly out of nowhere,
There were several things in the story that I liked -- Bud's relationship with Dariush, the way Bud's depression and anxiety were described (in a non-judgmental way), and when Bud got to be the hero with Nikki , to name a few. But there were also things I didn't like and didn't think fit the story or added anything to the plot. These were things like the Bud-Nikki-Reggie love triangle. It just added unnecessary, boring drama. And though I liked Viola at first, I felt that her character did a complete 180 throughout the story and turned from someone relatable to someone I wouldn't even want to know. By the end of the book, it seemed like I was reading about a different character entirely.
In the end, I'd give the book 3/5. It's not terrible, but it's not awesome either. It's a quick read and I don't regret spending those few hours on it.
Note: I received my copy for free from Leslie Stella and Amazon Children's Publishing.
Badi Hessamizadeh is an Iranian-American teenager living in Chicago. He's been bullied a lot for his ethnicity and sort of quirky personality. His family doesn't seem to care, thinking he should just focus on his studies rather than concerning himself with how other kids see him, and everything just snowballs -- to the point where he blows up a toilet to get back at the jocks who abuse him. Add to this a suicide attempt, and his father realizes something needs to change. Mr. Hessamizadeh changes Badi's name to Bud Hess and enrolls him in Magnificat Academy, a private school, to give him a fresh start.
Things look like they might be different for Bud at Magnificat. He makes a couple friends, Nikki and Reggie, right off the bat, and even joins the school newspaper. But things soon start spinning out of control as Bud refuses to participate in the school chocolate bar fundraiser (I remember these from my time in Catholic high school), the school newspaper starts getting anonymous letters calling for rebellion, and the Magnificat jocks learn of Bud's real name and the problems he had at his old school.
I had no problem with this part of the story. The writing was fine, but not spectacular, and the plot moved along slowly but steadily. I liked Nikki and Reggie and was proud of Bud for making some real friends. But then, seemingly out of nowhere,
There were several things in the story that I liked -- Bud's relationship with Dariush, the way Bud's depression and anxiety were described (in a non-judgmental way), and when Bud got to be the hero with Nikki , to name a few. But there were also things I didn't like and didn't think fit the story or added anything to the plot. These were things like the Bud-Nikki-Reggie love triangle. It just added unnecessary, boring drama. And though I liked Viola at first, I felt that her character did a complete 180 throughout the story and turned from someone relatable to someone I wouldn't even want to know. By the end of the book, it seemed like I was reading about a different character entirely.
In the end, I'd give the book 3/5. It's not terrible, but it's not awesome either. It's a quick read and I don't regret spending those few hours on it.
Note: I received my copy for free from Leslie Stella and Amazon Children's Publishing.
November 1, 2013
We meet Badi, who is the main character in the story, and what he does so well is narrate. I found myself sometimes reading more than I would have expect doing. I did think the book was a bit slow at the beginning, but it quickly picked up. There are so many things going on in Badi’s life, but not that many to confuse you.
What I enjoyed about Badi was his way of being himself. I do have to admit that he acted irrational many times, but I’m sure he had his reasons. One of those, maybe, was that his father changed his name from Badi Hessamizadeh to Bud Hess. I do think his original name is long, and I don’t think I can pronounce it if I try. But changing one’s name is a big deal. Right then I realized that Badi must have done something terrible in his past in order for his father to make such huge change.
Badi doesn’t tell all his secrets right away, but he does, and doesn’t make the reader wait too long and drown in a pool of frustration (if not wonder at times). When he meets Reggie and Nikki (who become his friends later on), he starts to open up more and forget about his problems. However, in his new school, he starts getting in more trouble. He doesn’t cause it, of course, but everything that goes wrong there comes back to him. Maybe many pick on him because he is new to the school, or maybe because he is Iranian-American.
Reading this book was like being back in high school with him again. It reminded me a lot of school. So kudos. However, in his new school, there were teachers who hated him. Yet he never spoke up, and I always wondered why. Why wouldn’t Badi say anything? His friend Nikki would try to come to his rescue, but he seemed to have no inspiration to do anything. Yes, he was entangled in all the problems, and he tried to tell most of the truth, but he never fought for something more.
He also refused to sell chocolate bars to collect money for a club, but I never really understood his deep reason. He mentions that it was because the money always went to the wrong club, but his fight was not strong. Nikki joined him and refused to sell the chocolate also, but to me it seemed illogical. It made me think of Badi as stubborn.
The abuse he experiences is shocking in many ways, but he allows it to happen. Yes, he was all this history and taking all these meds (some which he stopped taking because he just decided to do so; again, a bit stubborn), but that shouldn’t prevent him from speaking up. Which is probably the main reason for his actions at the end of the book. The ending of the book grabbed me and didn’t let me go. I had to re-read to realize what was happening. All his rage comes out of nowhere and he decides to do something completely stupid, which results in only self-harm.
Badi goes through all this to maybe discover who he is, because it does seem like he doesn’t know. In the end, I’m sure he finds out, like we all do sooner or later.
I loved the writing. I would love to read more from Leslie Stella. This book is a great read, worth it. I laughed a few times. Many times, it left me looking back and thinking about the dark reality, and how many of the things we barely hear are actually screaming at us.
What I enjoyed about Badi was his way of being himself. I do have to admit that he acted irrational many times, but I’m sure he had his reasons. One of those, maybe, was that his father changed his name from Badi Hessamizadeh to Bud Hess. I do think his original name is long, and I don’t think I can pronounce it if I try. But changing one’s name is a big deal. Right then I realized that Badi must have done something terrible in his past in order for his father to make such huge change.
Badi doesn’t tell all his secrets right away, but he does, and doesn’t make the reader wait too long and drown in a pool of frustration (if not wonder at times). When he meets Reggie and Nikki (who become his friends later on), he starts to open up more and forget about his problems. However, in his new school, he starts getting in more trouble. He doesn’t cause it, of course, but everything that goes wrong there comes back to him. Maybe many pick on him because he is new to the school, or maybe because he is Iranian-American.
Reading this book was like being back in high school with him again. It reminded me a lot of school. So kudos. However, in his new school, there were teachers who hated him. Yet he never spoke up, and I always wondered why. Why wouldn’t Badi say anything? His friend Nikki would try to come to his rescue, but he seemed to have no inspiration to do anything. Yes, he was entangled in all the problems, and he tried to tell most of the truth, but he never fought for something more.
He also refused to sell chocolate bars to collect money for a club, but I never really understood his deep reason. He mentions that it was because the money always went to the wrong club, but his fight was not strong. Nikki joined him and refused to sell the chocolate also, but to me it seemed illogical. It made me think of Badi as stubborn.
The abuse he experiences is shocking in many ways, but he allows it to happen. Yes, he was all this history and taking all these meds (some which he stopped taking because he just decided to do so; again, a bit stubborn), but that shouldn’t prevent him from speaking up. Which is probably the main reason for his actions at the end of the book. The ending of the book grabbed me and didn’t let me go. I had to re-read to realize what was happening. All his rage comes out of nowhere and he decides to do something completely stupid, which results in only self-harm.
Badi goes through all this to maybe discover who he is, because it does seem like he doesn’t know. In the end, I’m sure he finds out, like we all do sooner or later.
I loved the writing. I would love to read more from Leslie Stella. This book is a great read, worth it. I laughed a few times. Many times, it left me looking back and thinking about the dark reality, and how many of the things we barely hear are actually screaming at us.
March 9, 2015
This book follows a few months in the life of Badi Hessamizadeh, a sixteen-year-old Iranian-American growing up in Chicago. Badi doesn't have it easy -- he has controlling parents, he suffers from depression and anxiety, and he gets bullied daily. He's forced by his parents to transfer schools (and change his name to Bud) for a fresh start for junior year, but things don't go as well at his new school as planned. He is blamed for writing threatening letters to the school newspaper, and he and his new friends seek to clear his name.
This book was so refreshing compared to most YA books I've read that deal with bullying and mental illness. Mental illness was tackled in a way that wasn't cliche, and it didn't portray Badi/Bud as "crazy." You really got to get into Badi/Bud's head and understand his struggles and see what it's really like to suffer from anxiety and depression. I felt that they were realistically portrayed and were not shown in a negative light, which was fantastic to see. The bullying aspect of the book was also written out very well. Badi/Bud was psychically and mentally harassed on a daily basis. Some incidents were described in great detail, and you could really feel for him. Seriously, he went through some ish. I was really rooting for him, and at the end of the book I was very happy with how he had learned and grown from his horrible experiences.
The diversity among the characters was also refreshingly different. Badi/Bud and his family are Iranian-American, and one of his best friends is African-American. It was nice to picture a different type of character in my head instead of the typical handsome/pretty white kid that seems to be the main character of nearly every YA novel. It made the characters and the story as a whole seem so much more realistic. Almost every character in the story had depth to them. I didn't feel like any characters were flat or cliched. I also liked getting to learn a little bit about Iranian culture, words and phrases, and foods in the parts of the book involving his family.
The book was well-written and kept me interested the whole way through. I got so many feelings reading this - happiness, sadness, anxiety, excitement. I think adults that enjoy YA would like this book, but I'd really recommend it to teens still in school. I think they could either relate to Badi/Bud and his experiences or they could learn what it's like to be the outcast and the effects bullying can have. 4.5 stars.
I received a copy of this book through the GoodReads First Reads program.
This book was so refreshing compared to most YA books I've read that deal with bullying and mental illness. Mental illness was tackled in a way that wasn't cliche, and it didn't portray Badi/Bud as "crazy." You really got to get into Badi/Bud's head and understand his struggles and see what it's really like to suffer from anxiety and depression. I felt that they were realistically portrayed and were not shown in a negative light, which was fantastic to see. The bullying aspect of the book was also written out very well. Badi/Bud was psychically and mentally harassed on a daily basis. Some incidents were described in great detail, and you could really feel for him. Seriously, he went through some ish. I was really rooting for him, and at the end of the book I was very happy with how he had learned and grown from his horrible experiences.
The diversity among the characters was also refreshingly different. Badi/Bud and his family are Iranian-American, and one of his best friends is African-American. It was nice to picture a different type of character in my head instead of the typical handsome/pretty white kid that seems to be the main character of nearly every YA novel. It made the characters and the story as a whole seem so much more realistic. Almost every character in the story had depth to them. I didn't feel like any characters were flat or cliched. I also liked getting to learn a little bit about Iranian culture, words and phrases, and foods in the parts of the book involving his family.
The book was well-written and kept me interested the whole way through. I got so many feelings reading this - happiness, sadness, anxiety, excitement. I think adults that enjoy YA would like this book, but I'd really recommend it to teens still in school. I think they could either relate to Badi/Bud and his experiences or they could learn what it's like to be the outcast and the effects bullying can have. 4.5 stars.
I received a copy of this book through the GoodReads First Reads program.
June 10, 2013
After years of torment from his peers at school, Iranian/American Badi Hessamizadeh (Bud Hess) is sent to a new school to start anew. The years of being bullied has contributed to his anxiety and depression. At his new school, he tries choices that he otherwise would not do at his former one. He sees himself doing things that are out of his normal routine and it helped him develop as a person. But as soon as things seem to be looking brighter and he might actually have a descent run at this new school, he felt his past coming back. Suddenly fingers are pointed towards him for certain things at his new school. He has no idea how all the blame seems to be directed at him and is determined to get to the bottom of it before it is written in his permanent record. Leslie Stella’s Permanent Record is the engaging story of Bud’s changing world that goes in-depth to his psyche, motivations, and vulnerabilities.
Bud is easily a likeable character. Stella’s character development of Bud is incredible. There is a part of him that many readers will relate to. It is this relation that helps the story very engaging right from the beginning. Characterization is imperative to any story and Bud was certainly a character that we can all root for. Bud, who is Iranian/American, was a nice shift in YA literature where most characters follow a uniform approach. The changing of his environment and status were nicely done. On his journey, readers are able to fully understand his feelings as he goes on it alone.
It was heart-wrenching how his peers, teachers, and especially his family did not fully understand his anxiety disorder. I found the story to be very uplifting. Although it focused a lot on Bud’s depression, there was plenty of humor in the book. It provided the right amount to balance out the story and still remaining to be dedicated on Bud’s search for happiness. The mystery that Bud and his newly made friends, Reggie and Nikki, embark on was a well-done change of direction of the story. Lead by Stella’s incredible writing, readers are able to experience Bud’s wonderful journey through emotions and dark humor. Permanent Record carry many aspects that all readers can appreciate and most importantly, can relate to.
Bud is easily a likeable character. Stella’s character development of Bud is incredible. There is a part of him that many readers will relate to. It is this relation that helps the story very engaging right from the beginning. Characterization is imperative to any story and Bud was certainly a character that we can all root for. Bud, who is Iranian/American, was a nice shift in YA literature where most characters follow a uniform approach. The changing of his environment and status were nicely done. On his journey, readers are able to fully understand his feelings as he goes on it alone.
It was heart-wrenching how his peers, teachers, and especially his family did not fully understand his anxiety disorder. I found the story to be very uplifting. Although it focused a lot on Bud’s depression, there was plenty of humor in the book. It provided the right amount to balance out the story and still remaining to be dedicated on Bud’s search for happiness. The mystery that Bud and his newly made friends, Reggie and Nikki, embark on was a well-done change of direction of the story. Lead by Stella’s incredible writing, readers are able to experience Bud’s wonderful journey through emotions and dark humor. Permanent Record carry many aspects that all readers can appreciate and most importantly, can relate to.
May 10, 2013
Summary:
We first meet Bud as he is dealing with a panic attack. As an Iranian/American boy, he has been bullied endlessly by his classmates and his parents and school have not been helpful in resolving those issues. This has increased his anxiety as well as made him depressed. While trying to fit in with a new culture, but still keep where he's from in mind, he is sent to a new school to start fresh. At his new school, he begins to make friends and try new roles on for size. This leads him to doing some things that are a little out of character, but help him grow as a person. Everything seems to be looking up, but his past is coming to haunt him. He's getting blamed for things that are happening in his new school and he needs to find out why before it goes down on his permanent record.
My thoughts:
Bud is a delightfully engaging character. We read the book through his eyes, which really gives us a perfect view into his psyche. His vulnerabilities are on display and his motivation behind actions are very clear. Stella's development of Bud is fantastic. If you like a lot of characterization (especially in a non-conventional manner) then this book is for you. I also loved the newly immigrated status of our main character. As a teacher of students who come from immigrant families, I love having novels like this in the classroom. They can clearly identify the mix between cultures. Most of my students are from rural China, so America (especially Los Angeles) is a culture shock for them. Trying to fit in but not lose what you had is a difficult identity making process. The benefit my students have over Bud is that there are a majority of students around them that have made the same journey. Bud is alone.
Another aspect of this book that was unexpected was the amount of humor involved. There were several times that I laughed in front of the class while reading (we have silent reading time and it's the only time I get to read books for fun). With a book that deals with identity, depression, anxiety, bullying, and some other serious topics, I did not expect it to be so funny sometimes. Of course this means that the moment I finished it, several students already wanted to read it. I'm happily passing it around because Stella did a top shelf job!
We first meet Bud as he is dealing with a panic attack. As an Iranian/American boy, he has been bullied endlessly by his classmates and his parents and school have not been helpful in resolving those issues. This has increased his anxiety as well as made him depressed. While trying to fit in with a new culture, but still keep where he's from in mind, he is sent to a new school to start fresh. At his new school, he begins to make friends and try new roles on for size. This leads him to doing some things that are a little out of character, but help him grow as a person. Everything seems to be looking up, but his past is coming to haunt him. He's getting blamed for things that are happening in his new school and he needs to find out why before it goes down on his permanent record.
My thoughts:
Bud is a delightfully engaging character. We read the book through his eyes, which really gives us a perfect view into his psyche. His vulnerabilities are on display and his motivation behind actions are very clear. Stella's development of Bud is fantastic. If you like a lot of characterization (especially in a non-conventional manner) then this book is for you. I also loved the newly immigrated status of our main character. As a teacher of students who come from immigrant families, I love having novels like this in the classroom. They can clearly identify the mix between cultures. Most of my students are from rural China, so America (especially Los Angeles) is a culture shock for them. Trying to fit in but not lose what you had is a difficult identity making process. The benefit my students have over Bud is that there are a majority of students around them that have made the same journey. Bud is alone.
Another aspect of this book that was unexpected was the amount of humor involved. There were several times that I laughed in front of the class while reading (we have silent reading time and it's the only time I get to read books for fun). With a book that deals with identity, depression, anxiety, bullying, and some other serious topics, I did not expect it to be so funny sometimes. Of course this means that the moment I finished it, several students already wanted to read it. I'm happily passing it around because Stella did a top shelf job!
March 24, 2014
Lucy @ The Reading Date‘s review roused my affinity for stories about bullying and Iranian-Americans. Being a social studies teacher-reader, PERMANENT RECORDs mix of rich topics that could use an open dialogue and empathy led to my purchase of the book and then the audio.
It does not disappoint. PERMANENT RECORD has a similar feel of favorites, like Looking for Alaska, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, and the The Silver Linings Playbook, but LESLIE gives a unique and authentic lens to experience all the frustrations of Badi’s coming of age. Some of his struggles with friends, love, bullying and family are similar to any other teen, which makes him completely connectable to the reader. But he does have the additional issues of cultural expectations and nuances that make things harder for Badi.
You enter Badi’s life in the wake of his attempted suicide. Though I agreed with Badi’s anger about his parents changing his name to Bud Hess, I was hopeful for his new start at Magnificat’s Academy. And in the beginning it was promising, he found friends that appreciated his wit and quirks. It doesn’t take too long for things to seemingly spin out of control. Badi has found a home on the newspaper, but this emboldens him to speak his mind and not remain invisible. The problem is this coincides with the traditional chocolate bar sales that support only a portion of the student body, obviously not his particular slice of Magnificat. As Badi’s refusal to participate in the fundraiser becomes known, someone decides to throw super octane fuel on the fire. A series of anonymous letters lambasting the Academy’s treatment of lesser clubs has everyone pointing the finger at Badi.
NICK PODEHL captured Badi’s experience. He took me there. I could see and feel Badi’s frustration, outrage, angst and teenage indifference. NICK didn’t lose sight of the lighter and hopeful moments either. But as things became more volatile, his pace and tension matched it. I wasn’t going anywhere. He also beautifully portrayed Badi’s family, their accents and their dynamic within their unit. NICK dialed in on the particular douchiness of Badi’s terrorizers and concern of his friends. His females didn’t lack either. I’ll be looking for more of his narrations in the future.
It does not disappoint. PERMANENT RECORD has a similar feel of favorites, like Looking for Alaska, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, and the The Silver Linings Playbook, but LESLIE gives a unique and authentic lens to experience all the frustrations of Badi’s coming of age. Some of his struggles with friends, love, bullying and family are similar to any other teen, which makes him completely connectable to the reader. But he does have the additional issues of cultural expectations and nuances that make things harder for Badi.
You enter Badi’s life in the wake of his attempted suicide. Though I agreed with Badi’s anger about his parents changing his name to Bud Hess, I was hopeful for his new start at Magnificat’s Academy. And in the beginning it was promising, he found friends that appreciated his wit and quirks. It doesn’t take too long for things to seemingly spin out of control. Badi has found a home on the newspaper, but this emboldens him to speak his mind and not remain invisible. The problem is this coincides with the traditional chocolate bar sales that support only a portion of the student body, obviously not his particular slice of Magnificat. As Badi’s refusal to participate in the fundraiser becomes known, someone decides to throw super octane fuel on the fire. A series of anonymous letters lambasting the Academy’s treatment of lesser clubs has everyone pointing the finger at Badi.
NICK PODEHL captured Badi’s experience. He took me there. I could see and feel Badi’s frustration, outrage, angst and teenage indifference. NICK didn’t lose sight of the lighter and hopeful moments either. But as things became more volatile, his pace and tension matched it. I wasn’t going anywhere. He also beautifully portrayed Badi’s family, their accents and their dynamic within their unit. NICK dialed in on the particular douchiness of Badi’s terrorizers and concern of his friends. His females didn’t lack either. I’ll be looking for more of his narrations in the future.
June 16, 2013
“I get this feeling that something bad is happening, like I’m going to come home and find our building burned to the ground or white supremacists chasing my family around with baseball bats, or that this bus is going to crash into the bodega on Clark Street. My head won’t stop with this shit. I know it’s all anxiety. It pummels my brain with thoughts and images of horrible things going down. What is the matter with me? I’m sick of talking about myself. I’m sick of thinking about myself. I’m sick of myself.”
Leslie Stella’s Permanent Record tells the story of Badi Hessamizadeh, an Iranian-American teenager exploring his identity and trying to fit in. The story begins with Badi finding out that he will be transferring to Magnificat Academy from Leighton a Chicago public school due to some destructive behavior, a response to constant, post-9/11 bullying he experiences. To make matters worse, his father also legally changes his name to Bud, something “more American,” hoping that this will help him fit in with his new classmates. Bud struggles with being a normal teenager; he feels like an outcast and at times like he is invisible, a nobody. Unable to assimilate and overlook injustices like the archery club being disbanded to make more room for the football team, he takes a stand and openly expresses his opinion. For that, he is plagued with beatings and bullying. He also becomes the prime suspect for mysterious occurrences that begin happening at the school. It is up to him and his new outcast friends to clear his name and get to the bottom of the mystery.
Filled with dark and sardonic humor, Permanent Record will have you laughing out loud. Badi/Bud’s first person narration clearly depicts the depression and anxiety experienced by teens trying to find their place in the world. His keen and witty observations of other characters and situations provide a realistic backdrop for the story and mystery that unfolds. For those that loved The Perks of Being a Wallflower, this is a great read for you. You’ll love outcast Badi/Bud and his determination to battling injustice.
Leslie Stella’s Permanent Record tells the story of Badi Hessamizadeh, an Iranian-American teenager exploring his identity and trying to fit in. The story begins with Badi finding out that he will be transferring to Magnificat Academy from Leighton a Chicago public school due to some destructive behavior, a response to constant, post-9/11 bullying he experiences. To make matters worse, his father also legally changes his name to Bud, something “more American,” hoping that this will help him fit in with his new classmates. Bud struggles with being a normal teenager; he feels like an outcast and at times like he is invisible, a nobody. Unable to assimilate and overlook injustices like the archery club being disbanded to make more room for the football team, he takes a stand and openly expresses his opinion. For that, he is plagued with beatings and bullying. He also becomes the prime suspect for mysterious occurrences that begin happening at the school. It is up to him and his new outcast friends to clear his name and get to the bottom of the mystery.
Filled with dark and sardonic humor, Permanent Record will have you laughing out loud. Badi/Bud’s first person narration clearly depicts the depression and anxiety experienced by teens trying to find their place in the world. His keen and witty observations of other characters and situations provide a realistic backdrop for the story and mystery that unfolds. For those that loved The Perks of Being a Wallflower, this is a great read for you. You’ll love outcast Badi/Bud and his determination to battling injustice.
September 25, 2014
SPOILERS AHEAD!
This was a decent read. Unfortunately for me, I had a really hard time identifying with the main character so I did kind of have to slog through it at some points. I just couldn't seem to connect with him, possibly because I am not the target audience for this (I'm an adult, not a young adult) BUT I do read almost exclusively YA books and it's not generally an issue so I don't know. I suffer with issues of anxiety and depression just as the main character does, but I think his were much more severe and I have better emotional coping mechanisms or something. I just couldn't relate to him. I do think there are kids who will absolutely be able to relate to him and thoroughly enjoy this book. I guess it's because I am so non-confrontational by nature. I was bullied too, but never once did I consider retaliating with a bomb!
I think my biggest issue was that almost every character in the book was so wishy-washy. The other kids at school are described as kind of bad, but not terrible. Badi is basically describing them that way until they beat him up in the restroom. Nikki can't decide if she likes him or Reggie. Everyone just seemed so bland...except Dariush who is not afraid to be himself and gets kicked out of his house for it.
I think this review is sounding more negative than I intended, because I do think some teens would really enjoy this read. There were good things too, things I really liked....Ms. Viola, the crazy English teacher who loves archery; the way the author brings up the reality of life with bullying, how hard it can be to deal with on a daily basis, and how powerless and worthless it can make you feel; the way families can just be suffocating sometimes even when they mean well; the horrible things that sometimes go on in high schools that no one does anything about because it's tradition; and the way teens grab onto anything that's different and use it as a punishment (Badi's ethnicity).
Overall, not my favorite book but it wasn't a waste of time to read either. A little draggy but with several redeeming qualities.
Full disclosure: I received this book as part of a Goodreads giveaway.
This was a decent read. Unfortunately for me, I had a really hard time identifying with the main character so I did kind of have to slog through it at some points. I just couldn't seem to connect with him, possibly because I am not the target audience for this (I'm an adult, not a young adult) BUT I do read almost exclusively YA books and it's not generally an issue so I don't know. I suffer with issues of anxiety and depression just as the main character does, but I think his were much more severe and I have better emotional coping mechanisms or something. I just couldn't relate to him. I do think there are kids who will absolutely be able to relate to him and thoroughly enjoy this book. I guess it's because I am so non-confrontational by nature. I was bullied too, but never once did I consider retaliating with a bomb!
I think my biggest issue was that almost every character in the book was so wishy-washy. The other kids at school are described as kind of bad, but not terrible. Badi is basically describing them that way until they beat him up in the restroom. Nikki can't decide if she likes him or Reggie. Everyone just seemed so bland...except Dariush who is not afraid to be himself and gets kicked out of his house for it.
I think this review is sounding more negative than I intended, because I do think some teens would really enjoy this read. There were good things too, things I really liked....Ms. Viola, the crazy English teacher who loves archery; the way the author brings up the reality of life with bullying, how hard it can be to deal with on a daily basis, and how powerless and worthless it can make you feel; the way families can just be suffocating sometimes even when they mean well; the horrible things that sometimes go on in high schools that no one does anything about because it's tradition; and the way teens grab onto anything that's different and use it as a punishment (Badi's ethnicity).
Overall, not my favorite book but it wasn't a waste of time to read either. A little draggy but with several redeeming qualities.
Full disclosure: I received this book as part of a Goodreads giveaway.
March 5, 2014
I'll put this high on my list of young adult fiction that I love. The view of Persian American culture adds flavor to the story. Badi's internal dialog as well as his communication with others reminds me of the voice of someone who is a first generation American. There is something formal about it that I like. He sounds intelligent and unhip.
Badi is a character that was likeable in a bizarre way. Even though some of the abuse from his classmates seems a bit over the top the actual humiliation Badi feels will resonate with any kid that has been targeted unfairly. His friends are quirky and believable and you see potential in those relationships: the possibility of friendships guiding Badi onto a safer path because he feels less alone.
What I thought was the most outstanding aspect of the story was its ability to let the viewer experience what it is like to lose control of one's mind. Many kids with higher IQs seem to carry the burden of imbalances in other aspects of their personality. We see Badi struggling with this and how it takes a breakdown to finally get help. Even then, the book shows that it can be a slow process of trying drugs, changing behavior and learning to tell the truth to yourself as well as others. In some places I was actually tearing up for the unfortunate life experiences that Badi has to suffer through.
In real life I wouldn't respect Badi's brother at all--he seemed like a deadbeat moocher. But in the story I felt he was a great contrasting character to that of the father and an important support for Badi. It was definitely a case of looking beyond appearances when you are introduced to the various members of Badi's family. As an adult I could relate to the father and the mother because it can be quite a struggle finding out that your son will never be the boy you dreamed of. There really isn't a guidebook for making a son turn out 'normal' or knowing what is the right thing to do to encourage them to be the best that they can be. The author does a great job of making the family seem real.
Badi is a character that was likeable in a bizarre way. Even though some of the abuse from his classmates seems a bit over the top the actual humiliation Badi feels will resonate with any kid that has been targeted unfairly. His friends are quirky and believable and you see potential in those relationships: the possibility of friendships guiding Badi onto a safer path because he feels less alone.
What I thought was the most outstanding aspect of the story was its ability to let the viewer experience what it is like to lose control of one's mind. Many kids with higher IQs seem to carry the burden of imbalances in other aspects of their personality. We see Badi struggling with this and how it takes a breakdown to finally get help. Even then, the book shows that it can be a slow process of trying drugs, changing behavior and learning to tell the truth to yourself as well as others. In some places I was actually tearing up for the unfortunate life experiences that Badi has to suffer through.
In real life I wouldn't respect Badi's brother at all--he seemed like a deadbeat moocher. But in the story I felt he was a great contrasting character to that of the father and an important support for Badi. It was definitely a case of looking beyond appearances when you are introduced to the various members of Badi's family. As an adult I could relate to the father and the mother because it can be quite a struggle finding out that your son will never be the boy you dreamed of. There really isn't a guidebook for making a son turn out 'normal' or knowing what is the right thing to do to encourage them to be the best that they can be. The author does a great job of making the family seem real.
July 10, 2013
This book, Permanent Record, by Leslie Stella hit me just the right way. Leslie Stella put me in a state of have difficulty breathing and feeling I was in Badi(Bud) Hessamizadeh(Hess)head.
Badi had a breakdown and did some weird things his old school and now has to start over at Magnificat, his new school as he needs to start over after the “incident” at Leighton and his complete meltdown. Yes he blew up a toilet but he had a good reason. It is just that he also tried to kill himself and his parents are trying the best they can to understand what they cannot do. Bud is seeing a shrink but he is really just going through the motions with him now.
At Magnificat, Bud, wants to reinvent himself and does meet a couple of new friends, good friends who like him for himself. Nikki and Reggie stick with him even when they can feel Bud pulling away. The problems arise when his mind starts to slip away from him. Bud thought that the meds he was taking did not do him any good so he just stopped taking them instead of telling Dr. Elliot, his shrink. But without them there is a pressure that builds inside of him and Leslie Stella made me feel the walls closing in and the twisting inside his head, I felt.
I will tell you that this book was worth it. I also want to tell you that if you are claustrophobic you will have to take this book in spurts as you reach certain parts.
Badi had a breakdown and did some weird things his old school and now has to start over at Magnificat, his new school as he needs to start over after the “incident” at Leighton and his complete meltdown. Yes he blew up a toilet but he had a good reason. It is just that he also tried to kill himself and his parents are trying the best they can to understand what they cannot do. Bud is seeing a shrink but he is really just going through the motions with him now.
At Magnificat, Bud, wants to reinvent himself and does meet a couple of new friends, good friends who like him for himself. Nikki and Reggie stick with him even when they can feel Bud pulling away. The problems arise when his mind starts to slip away from him. Bud thought that the meds he was taking did not do him any good so he just stopped taking them instead of telling Dr. Elliot, his shrink. But without them there is a pressure that builds inside of him and Leslie Stella made me feel the walls closing in and the twisting inside his head, I felt.
I will tell you that this book was worth it. I also want to tell you that if you are claustrophobic you will have to take this book in spurts as you reach certain parts.
March 8, 2013
This was the first review book I received from NetGalley so wooo hoooo for getting a free book.
With that being said I have mixed feelings.
The writing was amazing.
The characters weren't bad.
And the plot was really good.
I just didn't like it all that much.
The story is about Badi. He is Iranian and is bullied all time. So right off the bat that sucks. I hate bullying. I just don't understand why people want to hurt people. Anyways Badi has an insident at his school so he is asked to leave.
His parents decide to enroll him in a Catholic school and change Badi's name to Bud.
While attending the new school he meets Nikki and Reggie who quickly become his friends.
Unfortunatly it doesn't take long though for the bullying to start again. And then all hell breaks loose and things get crazy.
I understand that books about bullying are good to read because it shows you how much your words and actions can influence someone. But this book just made me sad and angry.
I didn't really connect with the character and I didn't find myself loving any of the supporting characters.
Badi's brother Dariush was pretty cool. And I liked the teacher Ms. Viola. But...I just didn't love them.
However with all of that being said I didn't dislike the book. It was good and i'm glad I read it. So if you're looking for this type of book then I do suggest you read it. There are moments that are pretty funny and Badi can be pretty amazing....even if he doesn't know it.
Cover: 5/5
Main Character: 3/5
Supporting Characters: 2.5/5
Writing: 4.5/5
Plot: 4/5
Permanent Record Playlist:
Life Is A Song: Patrick Park
Let's Get Lost: Chet Baker
Solitude: Billie Holiday
Tears of a Clown: The English Beat
This Charming Man: The Smiths
Caught by the River: Doves
With that being said I have mixed feelings.
The writing was amazing.
The characters weren't bad.
And the plot was really good.
I just didn't like it all that much.
The story is about Badi. He is Iranian and is bullied all time. So right off the bat that sucks. I hate bullying. I just don't understand why people want to hurt people. Anyways Badi has an insident at his school so he is asked to leave.
His parents decide to enroll him in a Catholic school and change Badi's name to Bud.
While attending the new school he meets Nikki and Reggie who quickly become his friends.
Unfortunatly it doesn't take long though for the bullying to start again. And then all hell breaks loose and things get crazy.
I understand that books about bullying are good to read because it shows you how much your words and actions can influence someone. But this book just made me sad and angry.
I didn't really connect with the character and I didn't find myself loving any of the supporting characters.
Badi's brother Dariush was pretty cool. And I liked the teacher Ms. Viola. But...I just didn't love them.
However with all of that being said I didn't dislike the book. It was good and i'm glad I read it. So if you're looking for this type of book then I do suggest you read it. There are moments that are pretty funny and Badi can be pretty amazing....even if he doesn't know it.
Cover: 5/5
Main Character: 3/5
Supporting Characters: 2.5/5
Writing: 4.5/5
Plot: 4/5
Permanent Record Playlist:
Life Is A Song: Patrick Park
Let's Get Lost: Chet Baker
Solitude: Billie Holiday
Tears of a Clown: The English Beat
This Charming Man: The Smiths
Caught by the River: Doves
July 6, 2023
i liked this book well enough. it was a quick read, kept me interested. i wish there hadn’t been so much ableist language in it, seeing how mental health was a main theme. i seriously don’t know what it is with authors writing these books with a heavy presence of mental health, and/or disabilities, yet filling them to the brim with ableist slurs and ideas. it’s counterproductive. having characters call people “stupid” and “crazy” and “dumb” and every other ableist slur, and it being portrayed as nothing more than everyday accepted language, kind of contradicts your mentally ill and/or disabled rep.
the bullying the main character goes through? honestly, it’s really hard to consider the things he describes going through in the past and continues to go through as bullying and not hate crimes. and i had a hard time feeling anything other than disgust toward the main character’s parents. they didn’t seem to care that he’s mentally ill and is being targeted and harassed and assaulted nearly everyday. they see his mental health as an embarrassment or burden, and they see everything that happens to him as something he brought on himself. their solution to this is to tell him to just “keep his head down.”
lastly, i was pleased that the main character never got together with nikki, his only female friend who he had a crush on throughout the whole book. even though she never returned his feelings, i was expecting her to suddenly fall at his feet at the end, in the typical ya book way, but it didn’t happen and i’m really glad. platonic relationships are so important and are usually sidelined for romantic ones.
the bullying the main character goes through? honestly, it’s really hard to consider the things he describes going through in the past and continues to go through as bullying and not hate crimes. and i had a hard time feeling anything other than disgust toward the main character’s parents. they didn’t seem to care that he’s mentally ill and is being targeted and harassed and assaulted nearly everyday. they see his mental health as an embarrassment or burden, and they see everything that happens to him as something he brought on himself. their solution to this is to tell him to just “keep his head down.”
lastly, i was pleased that the main character never got together with nikki, his only female friend who he had a crush on throughout the whole book. even though she never returned his feelings, i was expecting her to suddenly fall at his feet at the end, in the typical ya book way, but it didn’t happen and i’m really glad. platonic relationships are so important and are usually sidelined for romantic ones.
October 14, 2014
This was one of the books I picked up on a whim, the cover got me, I admit it. Sixteen-year old Badi withdrew from his old high school with lots of issues that he hopes to leave behind. An outcast, he’s angry with life, often bullied by others and he uses revenge upon his tormentors. With medical issues, Badi sees a medical professional who he says all the right words to so it doesn’t raise any red flags. His father changes their last name before the school year but with Badi, he got a whole new alias, he is now Bud Hess. It is as if, leaving his Iranian name behind would make his life any easier but it is only a name, a part of the person that Badi had now become and his troubles are not far behind. With such a wonderful start to the book, I was expecting the tempo to continue throughout the book but I found things starting to drift off. Bud tries at school but with his anxiety and his past creeping into his head, he struggles to stay positive and focused at succeeding at school. His history just won’t let go and it put him in disarray. Joining the newspaper, he hopes to find a niche, a place where he can belong. I enjoyed the authors writing style and language, it was the tempo and the adventures of the book that I wanted more of. The novel has some great points and with such a small book, it is a quick read. Tackling issues about school injustice, bullying, and inequality, I believe she was effective.
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