This book showed up on my Goodreads this past spring, probably because one of my lovely friends marked it as a want to read. For some reason, the title intrigued me enough to click on it, the synopsis intrigued me enough to buy a copy, and the promise of some guidance through what has been weirdly painful season of my life had me jump in pretty much right away.
Aaaaaaaaaand...then it sat on my nightstand for I don't know like...four months?
I mean, I didn't touch it. I didn't even really think about it, other than the occasional "hmm I should probably get back to that." But I didn't. Because I wasn't feeling it. Often, when I logged on to Goodreads and saw it still sitting on my currently reading shelf, I wondered if it was doomed to be another one of those books that gets quietly removed, relegated back to the want to read shelf or removed from my radar completely.
It was not to be. Thankfully.
My therapy appointment last week made me want to spend more time in the quiet, doing things that ground me, that nurture my soul and my spirit and my heart. Y'know. The things that get so muffled and stifled by brains and work and societal responsibilities and whoever whatever. When I decided to try to start my days in quiet, this book catapulted back to the front of my brain with a rather aggressive "HEY GIRLLLL REMEMBER MEEEE?" and so I decided to start over.
Good God. What a shift in perspective this was. One that I think I've needed for the last two years but wasn't ready for until right now. Why am I always trying to live in the future, when the present has so many good things in it? Why am I living my life like it's a (pardon my language) goddamned race, trying to accomplish what I "should," to be someone I'm not, to impress everyone around me when I could...not. Everything is made up and the points don't matter. (Shoutout to Whose Line is it Anyway.)
I could dive headfirst into something that doesn't feel right just because our world, our culture tells me if I don't I'll be a failure, a spinster, doomed to be nothing, ugly, alone.
Or. I could stay put. I could keep doing yoga and going to therapy and hanging out with my parents and my brother and the dog and my cat nephew. I could keep reading books and drinking smoothies and trying learn things. I could stop rushing and just be, embrace the now, the years that are painful, when I feel unseen, like I want to do something that matters but I don't know how.
Okay. It has come to my attention that this isn't really a review, more of a journal entry. My apologies for oversharing. I'm not going to delete it though. Because honestly I think knowing how much this book shifted my perspective is a review in itself. But to take a moment to shift to more book review-y things: I did dock this one star because there were several moments where I wished Chole had kept writing, gone a little deeper, given me more. I would almost grasp what she was saying...and then the chapter would end. Most of the time though, each chapter was just enough to get me to think, and to keep thinking. (They're pretty short and kind of flow into one another, so I would recommend reading this one part at a time.)
All right, back to the journal entry.
Listen. I'm not sure about this whole God or organized religion thing. But this book was helpful in figuring some of that out too, as most interpretations of scripture and God and all of that fun holy stuff are.
So. If you're going through a transition or you feel hidden, unseen, unvalued, unimportant...I highly recommend giving this a read. I'm like 99% sure I'll find my way back to this book over my life. I hope I do. I think we all could use a reminder of the remarkable things that can happen in what seem like the emptiest of places.
(Thanks for reading my lengthy, overshare of a review. Also, shoutout to Tina for giving this book to Selena, and Selena for giving this book to Thriftbooks, and Thriftbooks for sending this particular copy of the book to me. Tina, I hope you're still turning to this book in times of transition. Selena, I hope it helped you during yours. And whoever and wherever you are, I hope you both are well. <3)