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The Rabbi's Daughter
In this honest, daring, and compulsively readable memoir, Reva Mann paints a portrait of herself as a young woman on the edge—of either revelation or self-destruction. Ricocheting between extremes of rebellion and piety, she is on a difficult but life-changing journey to inner truth.
The journey began with an unhappy childhood in a family where religion set the tone and deviations from it were not allowed. But Reva, a granddaughter of the head of the Rabbinic Council of Israel and daughter of a highly respected London rabbi, was a wild child and she rebelled, spiralling into a whirlwind of sex and drugs by the time she reached adolescence.
As a young woman, however, Reva had a startling mystical epiphany that led her to a women’s yeshivah in Israel, and eventually to marriage to the devoutly religious Torah scholar who she thought would take her to ever greater heights of spirituality. But can the path to spiritual fulfillment ever be compatible with the ecstasies of the flesh or with the everyday joys of intimacy and pleasure to which she is also strongly drawn? With unflinching candor, Reva shares her struggle to carve out a life that encompasses all the impulses at war within herself.
An eye-opening glimpse into the world of the ultra-Orthodox and their elaborately coded rituals for eating, sleeping, bathing, and lovemaking, as well as a deeply personal rumination on identity, faith, and self-acceptance, this is at its heart a universal story. For those of any faith who have grappled with their own spiritual longings, and for anyone fascinated by traditional religion and its role in modern society, Reva Mann’s chronicle of a journey toward redemption is an unforgettable read.
The journey began with an unhappy childhood in a family where religion set the tone and deviations from it were not allowed. But Reva, a granddaughter of the head of the Rabbinic Council of Israel and daughter of a highly respected London rabbi, was a wild child and she rebelled, spiralling into a whirlwind of sex and drugs by the time she reached adolescence.
As a young woman, however, Reva had a startling mystical epiphany that led her to a women’s yeshivah in Israel, and eventually to marriage to the devoutly religious Torah scholar who she thought would take her to ever greater heights of spirituality. But can the path to spiritual fulfillment ever be compatible with the ecstasies of the flesh or with the everyday joys of intimacy and pleasure to which she is also strongly drawn? With unflinching candor, Reva shares her struggle to carve out a life that encompasses all the impulses at war within herself.
An eye-opening glimpse into the world of the ultra-Orthodox and their elaborately coded rituals for eating, sleeping, bathing, and lovemaking, as well as a deeply personal rumination on identity, faith, and self-acceptance, this is at its heart a universal story. For those of any faith who have grappled with their own spiritual longings, and for anyone fascinated by traditional religion and its role in modern society, Reva Mann’s chronicle of a journey toward redemption is an unforgettable read.
368 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2007
87 people are currently reading
934 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 147 reviews
September 16, 2010
I thought this was an amazing book - it far exceeded my expectations! I knew there would be tantalising sexy bits and I knew there would be fascinating insights in the inner world of the ultra-orthodox. But I wasn't expecting the depth of emotion, honesty & pain. I felt it wasn't so much about a woman torn between her search for God and a desire for sexual abandonment. At it's heart it was much more fundamental than that. It was really about the same things all of us want - love, safety & protection, lasting connections with other human beings and peace within ourselves. I borrowed this copy from a friend but now I can't bring myself to give it back!
March 28, 2012
The more I read of this book, the less I liked the author. For one thing, I hate it when people whine about their lousy childhoods and what a crap job their parents did. If you're going to trash your parents, at least have the decency to change the names and turn it into a novel. Also, this woman didn't know what she wanted. It was obvious that her husband and his Orthdox lifestyle was wrong for her but she was so desperate to fit in that she was willing to change everything about herself. The same thing was true with her relationship with Sam. I kept wanting to tell her to grow a pair and not be so dependent on a man that she had to change her own identity. Having said that, Ms. Mann is a decent writer and her story was interesting enough that I wanted to keep reading. I just wish she had more kojones.
March 11, 2008
The Rabbi's Daughter is a book about carnality, the often uncontrollable desires and appetites of the body, and the religious codes that are used to control them. It is not for the faint-hearted reader, or for people who prefer to have sex with the lights off, or for those who are offended by open lewdness. That said, this memoir is a beautiful book, written by a woman whose life has been a bridge between the holy and the profane.
Reva Mann is the father-identified daughter and granddaughter of important rabbis in London and Jerusalem. As a teenager, she rebels against the strictures of her Orthodox family's faith, indulging in drugs, sex, and exhibitionist behavior. Repentant and seeking redemption, she goes to Israel to train as a midwife, has a religious experience, and enters a yeshiva (a school for ultra-Orthodox Jewish women). At twenty-five, hoping that marriage to an ultra-Orthodox man will help her fix what is wrong with her and get closer to God, she goes to Mrs. Frankel, the matchmaker ("And vat kind of a husband are you looking for?"). After a few false starts ("Reva, darlink...making a match is harder for God than parting the Red Sea"), Mrs. Frankel provides Simcha, an American Hasidic Jew whose ultra-observant piety seems to Reva to open the path to purification. Within two months, Simcha proposes and gives her a prayer book as an engagement present. Mazel tov.
But the constant rituals soon become meaningless, especially those that require sexual separation during the weeks she is a niddah, unclean. Six years, three children, and one affair later (with the hunky Mr. Fixit, who comes to remodel the kitchen), she finds herself in the Rabbinical Court, seeking a divorce. After that, there is sexy Sam (a fixer of a different kind), her father's death, breast cancer, her mother's death, and a reunion with a brain-damaged sister. As the years go on, Reva ceases to ricochet between desperate piety and equally desperate promiscuity and eventually finds a middle way, a true path to redemption, "creating a synthesis of the sacred and the secular...bringing together the holy and the profane."
Reva Mann has a deft touch with description, particularly the ludicrous. After her ritual cleansing mikveh, the matron of the bath pronounces her clean: "And I know I am now as kosher as the salt beef sandwiches at Bloom's delicatessen, the ones made by the proprietress, an overweight ballbuster with long white whiskers growing on her chin." When she meets Mr. Fixit, she is impressed by "the way his sex juts out like a mango." Reva's father thinks her ultra-Orthodox husband has a bad case of "messianic fever," and the rabbi who pronounces her divorced wears a frock coat with tails that "flap like bat wings." The erotic scenes might be overpowering if they weren't so over-the-top and downright funny, reveling in the ecstatic messiness of whole-hearted, redemptive sexuality.
The Rabbi's Daughter exploits (and sometimes overuses) many of the clichés of the "bad-girl-turned-good" memoir. But while there is a very great deal (for some readers, too much) sensational unruliness as well as intricate descriptions of what it takes to be "truly good" by Hasidic rule-bound standards, the story somehow survives its excess baggage. It is a rabbi's daughter's courageously honest attempt to answer the unanswerable and universal question: How do we live fully in our carnal bodies while we nourish our immortal souls? It is a compassionate book about our fragile, faulty human efforts--never quite right, never quite enough, but always heroic--to find a way to the Divine.
Reva Mann is the father-identified daughter and granddaughter of important rabbis in London and Jerusalem. As a teenager, she rebels against the strictures of her Orthodox family's faith, indulging in drugs, sex, and exhibitionist behavior. Repentant and seeking redemption, she goes to Israel to train as a midwife, has a religious experience, and enters a yeshiva (a school for ultra-Orthodox Jewish women). At twenty-five, hoping that marriage to an ultra-Orthodox man will help her fix what is wrong with her and get closer to God, she goes to Mrs. Frankel, the matchmaker ("And vat kind of a husband are you looking for?"). After a few false starts ("Reva, darlink...making a match is harder for God than parting the Red Sea"), Mrs. Frankel provides Simcha, an American Hasidic Jew whose ultra-observant piety seems to Reva to open the path to purification. Within two months, Simcha proposes and gives her a prayer book as an engagement present. Mazel tov.
But the constant rituals soon become meaningless, especially those that require sexual separation during the weeks she is a niddah, unclean. Six years, three children, and one affair later (with the hunky Mr. Fixit, who comes to remodel the kitchen), she finds herself in the Rabbinical Court, seeking a divorce. After that, there is sexy Sam (a fixer of a different kind), her father's death, breast cancer, her mother's death, and a reunion with a brain-damaged sister. As the years go on, Reva ceases to ricochet between desperate piety and equally desperate promiscuity and eventually finds a middle way, a true path to redemption, "creating a synthesis of the sacred and the secular...bringing together the holy and the profane."
Reva Mann has a deft touch with description, particularly the ludicrous. After her ritual cleansing mikveh, the matron of the bath pronounces her clean: "And I know I am now as kosher as the salt beef sandwiches at Bloom's delicatessen, the ones made by the proprietress, an overweight ballbuster with long white whiskers growing on her chin." When she meets Mr. Fixit, she is impressed by "the way his sex juts out like a mango." Reva's father thinks her ultra-Orthodox husband has a bad case of "messianic fever," and the rabbi who pronounces her divorced wears a frock coat with tails that "flap like bat wings." The erotic scenes might be overpowering if they weren't so over-the-top and downright funny, reveling in the ecstatic messiness of whole-hearted, redemptive sexuality.
The Rabbi's Daughter exploits (and sometimes overuses) many of the clichés of the "bad-girl-turned-good" memoir. But while there is a very great deal (for some readers, too much) sensational unruliness as well as intricate descriptions of what it takes to be "truly good" by Hasidic rule-bound standards, the story somehow survives its excess baggage. It is a rabbi's daughter's courageously honest attempt to answer the unanswerable and universal question: How do we live fully in our carnal bodies while we nourish our immortal souls? It is a compassionate book about our fragile, faulty human efforts--never quite right, never quite enough, but always heroic--to find a way to the Divine.
March 20, 2015
This is one of those memoirs that I read and think, "I want to be friends with this woman." Fascinating account of Mann--who is the granddaughter of the former chief rabbi of Israel--who strayed as far from orthodoxy as you can get but then went to the opposite extreme, becoming an Hasidic wife. She then reverts back to the other extreme. I wish there was more on how she lives her life today, but overall, I learned a lot about the ultra-conservative lifestyle and generally was glued to the book.
November 4, 2025
Mniej myslenia o rozporku majstra a wiecej o wlasnych dzieciach i byloby dobrze.
Liczyłam na wiecej informacji o zyciu, o zwyczajach ortodoksyjnych Żydów. Dostalam pamietnik napalonej i nieszczesliwej kobiety.
Liczyłam na wiecej informacji o zyciu, o zwyczajach ortodoksyjnych Żydów. Dostalam pamietnik napalonej i nieszczesliwej kobiety.
June 6, 2008
Wow this book was bad. Instead of successfully trashing orthodoxy all she basically does is depict herself as a severely messed up person - and writer - who is self pitying, victimized and incredibly weak and selfish. Instead of rebelling against a theology (and the one she comes from actually sounds refreshingly normal) she looks for love in all the wrong places and can't seem to find the very balance that her ancestors preached. I'm not sure how much of this story can be true - but believe me there is no way her ear for dialogue is - her fanatic husband Simcha's response to her affair is, well it's forbidden to live with a woman who is cheating so I halachically need to move. Right, ok, THAT'S the issue. Or when he says he is SO excited for that first taste of matzah which will unite him with the Jews leaving Egypt and actually SAYS, how cool is that? Reva's choice of men speaks of a seriously low self esteem and determination to have the worst parts of herself capitalized on - but it is hard to sympathize with someone who is so whiny and unlikeable. Her characters are caricatures, and her struggle to find herself just sounds like one long teenage rebellion and cry for attention. However true this story may be, she is way too close to it to give it an authentic flavor, and her writing is so poor I cringed at nearly every page. It seems even those who leave the fold still can't produce anything beyond targum feldheim quality with a different agenda.
khaya you know i'm going to make you read it anyway.
khaya you know i'm going to make you read it anyway.
December 20, 2008
January 2008:
I really enjoyed this book and felt it was easy to read and extremely hard to put down.
Saw it at the library by chance and was drawn to the picture on the cover, thinking "whoa, cool blouse".
Reading the book itself, I smiled and laughed, cried and sympathised, and nodded my head in agreement with so much of what the author talks about.
Growing up in a country that was occupied during WW2 and still has many Jewish people living there, I had Jewish friends of the type Reva was when living in London.
Apart from a few minor things (like different holidays), they never seemed different or exotic to me. We studied and played together, discussed books and boys, and generally got on. Reading this book made me realise what I could have learnt from some of those friends if I'd actually made the effort to ask questions and find out more.
I love the frequent use of Hebrew words, and the historical, religious and socio-cultural insights this book offers.
It really feels like the author opened her doors, sat me down with a cup of tea, and told me about her life, letting me ask questions and giving me honest answers that came from the heart.
*******
Update, December 2008:
I'm re-reading this book, and am enjoying it as much this time around as I did the first time. I feel that reading this book for the second time is a good experience, as I can actually understand many of the references better. Still an amazing read!
I really enjoyed this book and felt it was easy to read and extremely hard to put down.
Saw it at the library by chance and was drawn to the picture on the cover, thinking "whoa, cool blouse".
Reading the book itself, I smiled and laughed, cried and sympathised, and nodded my head in agreement with so much of what the author talks about.
Growing up in a country that was occupied during WW2 and still has many Jewish people living there, I had Jewish friends of the type Reva was when living in London.
Apart from a few minor things (like different holidays), they never seemed different or exotic to me. We studied and played together, discussed books and boys, and generally got on. Reading this book made me realise what I could have learnt from some of those friends if I'd actually made the effort to ask questions and find out more.
I love the frequent use of Hebrew words, and the historical, religious and socio-cultural insights this book offers.
It really feels like the author opened her doors, sat me down with a cup of tea, and told me about her life, letting me ask questions and giving me honest answers that came from the heart.
*******
Update, December 2008:
I'm re-reading this book, and am enjoying it as much this time around as I did the first time. I feel that reading this book for the second time is a good experience, as I can actually understand many of the references better. Still an amazing read!
December 13, 2010
Very hard to put down but at the same time hard to read what this woman has put herself through. There seem to be some people in this world who from nature or nurture or both go to extremes in the way they live and it doesn't seem to matter what direction the extreme is. This is a first narrative tale, based on truth, of someone trying to find balance in her life after living through self-destructive hedonism then swinging totally the opposite way to also harmful fanatical religious orthodoxy. Very raw emotions and honest. Sometimes though it can get tiring about her repeating continually about coping with the family difficulties during childhood which made me want to just shout 'get a grip' and lead your own life, not via a man - father, husband or boyfriend, you own way! Also it was kind of predictable as soon as she did the 'swing' to extreme orthodoxy and met and decided to marry her husband that she would not be able to keep it up or to find happiness. Anyway very readable.
April 13, 2010
This was an amazing book. It was so interesting, to see the culture that Reva lived through. I got a great historical lesson of life as a Jew, and also a deep personal look at someone struggling to come through with her religion. I would recommend this to any memoir lover, but especially those who are trying to get through something that is largely apart of their lives. I thank Jennefer for the recommendation!
May 7, 2014
I couldn't put this book down while I was reading it - but I'm not sure I liked it, or the narrator, all that much either.
This is the story of Reva Mann, the daughter and granddaughter of two famous rabbi's, and her path from wild-child, to yeshiva/hasidic woman, to much more moderate woman. Along the way she gets married, has kids, gets cancer, says goodbye to both of her parents, makes peace with her intellectually disabled sister, and tries to find her path to God.
The story of this memoir is great - full of salacious detail and inside information on the insular ultra-hasidic community - yet it also came across as hollow. There was nothing to learn in this memoir. I'm not even sure Reva has learnt all that much with telling this tale. Or at least, if she has, it isn't in this book.
This is a woman who did not have an ideal upbringing, and seems to blame her parents for all her woes. It sounds possible that she wasn't held enough as a child, and is missing some major emotional and empathetic queues (emotional and social bonding issues).
That's all well and good - you're more than welcome to blame your parents for your poor life choices, but after a certain point it gets old. I should also mention, that unless you have an axe to grind against your parents, I don't necessarily agree with naming them in your memoir - especially when they are known in certain communities. Especially regarding the way in which her mother died (suicide), I felt that knowledge would only negatively affect people's perception of her mother as a woman in her community (and she was apparently well known in London circles).
She could have changed names in this, or written it as a fiction novel heavily based on her real-life.
Through most of this book I felt that Reva just really needed therapy. Her life was a product of her own creation - she made those choices - and can't blame anyone else for that. Unlike other memoirs, like The Glass Castle, where children are put in untenable positions due to their parents actions, Reva's choices were hers to make.
Her marriage seemed like a mistake from the start - but again, marriage therapy may have helped as well. Most of the time the issues could have been resolved with an honest conversation between the two of them, but neither one seemed to have the maturity to be honest (with themselves or with each other).
Her discussion of Judaism and her Jewishness were the best parts of the book. Reva is searching for God, for connection to a higher power, for a father figure... and seems to find it in the promise of ultra-orthodox Judaism. I think that with a more relaxed (less-stringent) husband, in a slightly less stifling Hasidic community she may have actually found her path and been at peace. There is much in the community that she loves - especially the community part of it. A place where she can feel at home and part of the group. Despite the warning signs that seemed to pop up around her, no one at the seminary she was at mentioned that perhaps she should look at a different rabbi/teaching/school etc.
I get that more bodies=more converts, but it seems the height of hubris to assume that your path will work for everyone. Isn't it the job of a good teacher to help their student find their path? And that the path may not always be the same as the teacher's?
Some of her interactions in the seminary and with the people there really bothered me. Not to mention the utter distaste for anything secular, and what seemed to also be a lack of respect for the converts among them. For example, if you've even slept with an uncircumcised man you're no longer allowed to marry a Kohen (type of Jewish family - the priestly class). Squicky.
There is a fetishization of the "frum-from-birth" person that makes those who convert (even if you're born Jewish) a second class citizen. Of course, being FFB doesn't mean your faith is 100% - it just means you look the part.
There are also a lot of issues with sexuality and physicality in the Orthodox and Hasidic community (which has been discussed in other memoirs, like Unorthodox: The Scandalous Rejection of My Hasidic Roots), but also comes to the fore in this book. Again, a different husband may have made all of the difference here. One who wasn't afraid, perhaps, of his own needs, and thus subsumed his sexuality under his religion and piety.
At the end Reva is looking for balance between her two extremes - physicality and sexuality, and her love of God and her religion.
There were a lot of things about this book that I didn't like, but it was also a gripping tale and a book I had a hard time putting down. An interesting read - and one that will certainly cause lively conversation.
This is the story of Reva Mann, the daughter and granddaughter of two famous rabbi's, and her path from wild-child, to yeshiva/hasidic woman, to much more moderate woman. Along the way she gets married, has kids, gets cancer, says goodbye to both of her parents, makes peace with her intellectually disabled sister, and tries to find her path to God.
The story of this memoir is great - full of salacious detail and inside information on the insular ultra-hasidic community - yet it also came across as hollow. There was nothing to learn in this memoir. I'm not even sure Reva has learnt all that much with telling this tale. Or at least, if she has, it isn't in this book.
This is a woman who did not have an ideal upbringing, and seems to blame her parents for all her woes. It sounds possible that she wasn't held enough as a child, and is missing some major emotional and empathetic queues (emotional and social bonding issues).
That's all well and good - you're more than welcome to blame your parents for your poor life choices, but after a certain point it gets old. I should also mention, that unless you have an axe to grind against your parents, I don't necessarily agree with naming them in your memoir - especially when they are known in certain communities. Especially regarding the way in which her mother died (suicide), I felt that knowledge would only negatively affect people's perception of her mother as a woman in her community (and she was apparently well known in London circles).
She could have changed names in this, or written it as a fiction novel heavily based on her real-life.
Through most of this book I felt that Reva just really needed therapy. Her life was a product of her own creation - she made those choices - and can't blame anyone else for that. Unlike other memoirs, like The Glass Castle, where children are put in untenable positions due to their parents actions, Reva's choices were hers to make.
Her marriage seemed like a mistake from the start - but again, marriage therapy may have helped as well. Most of the time the issues could have been resolved with an honest conversation between the two of them, but neither one seemed to have the maturity to be honest (with themselves or with each other).
Her discussion of Judaism and her Jewishness were the best parts of the book. Reva is searching for God, for connection to a higher power, for a father figure... and seems to find it in the promise of ultra-orthodox Judaism. I think that with a more relaxed (less-stringent) husband, in a slightly less stifling Hasidic community she may have actually found her path and been at peace. There is much in the community that she loves - especially the community part of it. A place where she can feel at home and part of the group. Despite the warning signs that seemed to pop up around her, no one at the seminary she was at mentioned that perhaps she should look at a different rabbi/teaching/school etc.
I get that more bodies=more converts, but it seems the height of hubris to assume that your path will work for everyone. Isn't it the job of a good teacher to help their student find their path? And that the path may not always be the same as the teacher's?
Some of her interactions in the seminary and with the people there really bothered me. Not to mention the utter distaste for anything secular, and what seemed to also be a lack of respect for the converts among them. For example, if you've even slept with an uncircumcised man you're no longer allowed to marry a Kohen (type of Jewish family - the priestly class). Squicky.
There is a fetishization of the "frum-from-birth" person that makes those who convert (even if you're born Jewish) a second class citizen. Of course, being FFB doesn't mean your faith is 100% - it just means you look the part.
There are also a lot of issues with sexuality and physicality in the Orthodox and Hasidic community (which has been discussed in other memoirs, like Unorthodox: The Scandalous Rejection of My Hasidic Roots), but also comes to the fore in this book. Again, a different husband may have made all of the difference here. One who wasn't afraid, perhaps, of his own needs, and thus subsumed his sexuality under his religion and piety.
At the end Reva is looking for balance between her two extremes - physicality and sexuality, and her love of God and her religion.
There were a lot of things about this book that I didn't like, but it was also a gripping tale and a book I had a hard time putting down. An interesting read - and one that will certainly cause lively conversation.
April 13, 2015
The only word I can find for this book is interesting. I found that I was trying to read between the lines and find out what it was that the author was actually trying to say. Living a Modern Orthodox life myself, I found that I understood the way of life and what she was going through. However, I found the story lacking even though it kept me glued as I wanted to know the outcome.
Reva Mann was brutally honest and I do feel for her children in this as she has come from a completely secular lifestyle into a really Orthodox one which are diametrically opposite. It would be extremely hard for a person to be happy doing this and it came as no surprise to me that it did not last. It would be surprising if her children were not affected psychologically by the dramatic change of living with one secular parent and one really ultra orthodox.
It was very brave for Reva Mann to be so honest about her life and loves and her sexual appetite. Perhaps there is something of her in all of us, looking for everything, love, affection, sexual satifaction etc. Do we ever find everything we are seeking?
Good book, but found it a bit lacking. Would recommend it though.
Reva Mann was brutally honest and I do feel for her children in this as she has come from a completely secular lifestyle into a really Orthodox one which are diametrically opposite. It would be extremely hard for a person to be happy doing this and it came as no surprise to me that it did not last. It would be surprising if her children were not affected psychologically by the dramatic change of living with one secular parent and one really ultra orthodox.
It was very brave for Reva Mann to be so honest about her life and loves and her sexual appetite. Perhaps there is something of her in all of us, looking for everything, love, affection, sexual satifaction etc. Do we ever find everything we are seeking?
Good book, but found it a bit lacking. Would recommend it though.
March 2, 2018
I bought this memoir but I am not going to finish reading
The voice of this author comes across to me as depressed and bewildered. It seems as if she sees her problems (monstrously formidable as they are) as caused by her circumstances and the nasty people who have power over her.
In the end, she comes to an escape into new circumstances, and the narrative leaves off with the implication that this improves matters.
The voice of this author comes across to me as depressed and bewildered. It seems as if she sees her problems (monstrously formidable as they are) as caused by her circumstances and the nasty people who have power over her.
In the end, she comes to an escape into new circumstances, and the narrative leaves off with the implication that this improves matters.
December 21, 2009
I always thought memoirs should be uplifting or, at the least, a story from which to learn. This memoir does neither. Well, ok, I learned that I don't like memoirs and will likely not read one for a very long while. This is for someone who thinks self-indulgent, thoughtless, behavior is inspirational.
September 21, 2014
It could be an interesting story, but I didn't think it was well written. She starts in the middle, without giving any background on herself or her family. Every so often she stops in the middle of something, and goes back to tell a bit about them, but it's not enough, and it interrupts the flow of the story. I was never convinced that she'd really changed and wanted a different kind of life.
January 18, 2009
Sad, depressing and irritating!I could not find any sympathy for the heroine. Even if her insights into the ultra-orthodox community are very honest, the constant change of direction in life and lack of understanding what exactly she is looking for made me uncomfortable.
December 1, 2009
racy book about a conservative jewish sect in Israel. Fabulous.
May 28, 2018
Loved it, read it in two days, and it resonated with me.
December 9, 2018
Frank and fascinating account of this woman's journey to and from Hassidic Judaism. Occasionally irritating!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 22, 2021
V tomto případě jsem asi měla od knížky přehnaná očekávání, které bohužel nesplnila. život židů-Chasidů v dnešním světě byl velmi lákavým tématem. Kladně hodnotím tu zcela jasně autobiografickou linku, která tam je krásně čitelná, protože jsou tam veškeré myšlenkové pochody hlavní postavy-autorky, někdy možná až rozvláčné, ale i tak toto za mě bylo skvělé, protože je tam zajištěna autenticita. Co naopak hodnotím záporně je to, že jsem se absolutně nemohla začíst, bylo mi to celou knížku jedno jak to s hlavní postavou bude, co zrovna dělá a co dělala dříve. Až jsem se občas nudila a snažila se přeskakovat. Informativní charakter knížky dobrý, samotný styl nic moc. Shrnuto-tečka.
April 27, 2020
A slightly self obsessed autobiography about a London wild child who joins a cult in Israel and finally escapes. It is quite interesting hearing about the cult which is the usual hypocritical sexism carried out for an invisible friend, but one can't help but think that all of her problems are self brought on.
March 31, 2021
Wow.
Reviewed in the United States on January 2, 2021
Reva Mann is a good writer, but a really sick puppy. (And the exact point at which I knew that was the GROSS events from pps 283-290. I don't even want to restate them.)
Let me be clear that I have no problems with people/women who are sex positive. (Think Jenny Block and her book "Open.")
But, sometimes serious mental illness (Borderline Personality, etc) can present as sex positivity. (Think Kayley Sciortino and her book/ mental illness chronicle "Slutever.")
*******
The book has resonances to things that I have seen or heard before many times.
1. Students go to Israel for a year abroad and flip out. (Men come back with black hats and women with two pair of stockings. It does eventually fade.)
While in this phase, they rake their nails down their family members' internal chalk boards.
2. The presence of people in Orthodoxy is a dynamic equilibrium: Some number of people are coming on at roughly the same rate that people are going off.
3. Bored White People Seeking Inner Peace are the same always and everywhere, and it doesn't depend on religion. It's merely coincidence that this author was Jewish. (Although, this story was written before by Susanna Kaysen in "Girl, Interrupted.")
Mann's family had a lot of money from somewhere, and it financed her acedia.
("People engaged in a desperate struggle for survival are wholly free from a sense of futility.")
It is amazing that ONE single person (=the author) in this book has a job---yet no one is short of money.
(Who was paying for her sister Michelle to live in a first-rate institution all those decades? Where did the money come from for things like trips to India/England? Where did the money come from for the protagonists legal fees? Or the house that her parents bought her?)
She grew up with Less Than Perfect Parents (who didn't?) and that caused her so much pain that she could not even forget it decades later.
Whatever.
4. Morose, judgmental Haredim in their Eternal Quest for other people to piss on in order to mark their territory. Baalei teshuva. Converts. Modern Orthodox. (p.203).
5. Wealthy, Neurotic Jewish Families (i.e., the author's!). And I can't even think of any one specific instance, because it is so common as to border on cliche. (p.97)
6. The matchmaking scam. Everybody in such a hurry to pass over objectively normal/ healthy/attractive/ fertile human beings in order to try to find somebody with the "right" lineage. (And this is worse than it sounds, because certain elements are just determined to keep up with these first cousin marriages and then have the nerve to look down their nose at somebody who might have a special needs person in their family.)
7. (p.295) Too much of ANYTHING (including/especially religious observance) isn't good.
*******
I do learn a bit from this book that isn't familiar
1. (p.113) It really is true that some Haredim have sex through a sheet! And a husband is supposed to satisfy his wife, but he can't use his mouth/ tongue to do it. (Czechoslovakian Matchmaker: "Husband is not allowed to see your.....openink./You want your husband to respect you and cherish you, not put his mouth where you hev been to the toilet, feh!")
2. (p.205) There is at least one subset of Hasidim where the rabbi wears 18 sets of fringes (tzitsit).
3. Some people believe that a man should recite the Shema right during ejaculation. (pps. 132, 157).
4. (p.66) Some people believe that it is good to tie a cord onto one's ankle to prevent the possibility of rolling over and having a wet dream.
*******
I happen to be a convert, and it has been my experience that most people who convert to Judaism have serious mental problems. (There was a book written by Bernice Weiss, and she did stories of probably about 12 people, 5 of whom had...... problems. Mann herself describes (p.199) People "using religion to hide their skeletons." And we don't even need to go into my own personal observations.)
But then, people who are born Jewish and go off the derech are just as likely to have.....problems.
This is the 7th one of these going-off-the-derech books that I have read, and I would say that 5 of the 6 people from the first books had serious problems.
Leah Lax--"Uncovered." (Grandiose lesbian.)
Deborah Feldman-- "Unorthodox"/"Exodus". (Drama Junkie.)
Leah Vincent--"Sin and Salvation." (Borderline personality. Self harm.)
Abby Stein--"Becoming Eve." (Uncertain. She may have been genuinely transgender, but definitely had drama junkie tendencies.)
Rachel/Ruth Shilsky--"The Color of Water." (Sexual abuse. Teenage pregnancy.)
Shulem Deen--"All Who Go Do Not Return" (Normal guy with doubts.)
In the case of our author here, she makes it 6 out of 7.
I think that Mann was just EXTREMELY concupiscent by nature, with probably some confounding mental issues (or maybe the other way around) but no appropriate sexual outlet. (As quiet as it is kept: there are just as many horny women out there as there are men.)
******
I can't conclude from Mann's story that an unhealthy Orthodox/Haredi attitude toward sexuality has all kinds of spillover effects--and that's because her family/upbringing was not really even Orthodox. (More like on the right wing of Masorti Judaism.)
1. This lustful author *really* wanted to go out and get her various orifices challenged. (She certainly isn't the first, nor will she be the last.)
But there are healthy ways to do that, and she didn't choose any of them.
-Losing her virginity in her father's synagogue on the bima steps? (p. 103)
-Group sex?
-(p.23) Screwing the girls in seminary? (And the thing is, she never had any further relationships with women after seminary. So that wasn't her thing. But, she just did it for what reason?)
2. Some of the things that she admitted to were just...... creepy. (p.278)
Such as:
-Bringing her creepy unemployed, drug addict boyfriend back to the house and then being loudly pumped by him within earshot of her children? (The oldest of whom was probably about 10?)
-And then ignoring the confused cries of the children when they thought that their mother was being injured in some way?
-Letting Creepy Boyfriend walk around the house in his underwear in front of her children?
3. Drug abuse (cocaine/pot/ecstasy/quaaludes/heroin/ etc) was a running theme throughout the book.
And then, after it was all said and done... Creepy Drug Addict Boyfriend dumped her after being brought back on the derech by her ex-husband? (How does your ex-husband end up officiating your boyfriend's brother's funeral? At the end of it, ex-husband was putting tallit and tefillin on her soon-to-be ex-boyfriend.)
4. Her mother had very evident mental problems, and appeared to be a pill popper. (Her daughter ended up sending her to a psychiatrist by the time she brought her to Israel. And she finally did commit suicide after all those years of threatening.)
5. Okay, so she finishes the book as a celibate yoga practitioner?
*******
Minor quibble: I wish Mann would pick one language or the other to use in this book. The spelling is all American, but she talks about things like smoking a "fåg" (p.193) and being "chuffed" about something (p. 328).
*******
Conclusion: If you want to scare your kids about going off the derech, herewith is one particular book (in the midst of at least six others that I have read) that will frighten them back on the straight and narrow.
Verdict: Weak recommendation.
Reviewed in the United States on January 2, 2021
Reva Mann is a good writer, but a really sick puppy. (And the exact point at which I knew that was the GROSS events from pps 283-290. I don't even want to restate them.)
Let me be clear that I have no problems with people/women who are sex positive. (Think Jenny Block and her book "Open.")
But, sometimes serious mental illness (Borderline Personality, etc) can present as sex positivity. (Think Kayley Sciortino and her book/ mental illness chronicle "Slutever.")
*******
The book has resonances to things that I have seen or heard before many times.
1. Students go to Israel for a year abroad and flip out. (Men come back with black hats and women with two pair of stockings. It does eventually fade.)
While in this phase, they rake their nails down their family members' internal chalk boards.
2. The presence of people in Orthodoxy is a dynamic equilibrium: Some number of people are coming on at roughly the same rate that people are going off.
3. Bored White People Seeking Inner Peace are the same always and everywhere, and it doesn't depend on religion. It's merely coincidence that this author was Jewish. (Although, this story was written before by Susanna Kaysen in "Girl, Interrupted.")
Mann's family had a lot of money from somewhere, and it financed her acedia.
("People engaged in a desperate struggle for survival are wholly free from a sense of futility.")
It is amazing that ONE single person (=the author) in this book has a job---yet no one is short of money.
(Who was paying for her sister Michelle to live in a first-rate institution all those decades? Where did the money come from for things like trips to India/England? Where did the money come from for the protagonists legal fees? Or the house that her parents bought her?)
She grew up with Less Than Perfect Parents (who didn't?) and that caused her so much pain that she could not even forget it decades later.
Whatever.
4. Morose, judgmental Haredim in their Eternal Quest for other people to piss on in order to mark their territory. Baalei teshuva. Converts. Modern Orthodox. (p.203).
5. Wealthy, Neurotic Jewish Families (i.e., the author's!). And I can't even think of any one specific instance, because it is so common as to border on cliche. (p.97)
6. The matchmaking scam. Everybody in such a hurry to pass over objectively normal/ healthy/attractive/ fertile human beings in order to try to find somebody with the "right" lineage. (And this is worse than it sounds, because certain elements are just determined to keep up with these first cousin marriages and then have the nerve to look down their nose at somebody who might have a special needs person in their family.)
7. (p.295) Too much of ANYTHING (including/especially religious observance) isn't good.
*******
I do learn a bit from this book that isn't familiar
1. (p.113) It really is true that some Haredim have sex through a sheet! And a husband is supposed to satisfy his wife, but he can't use his mouth/ tongue to do it. (Czechoslovakian Matchmaker: "Husband is not allowed to see your.....openink./You want your husband to respect you and cherish you, not put his mouth where you hev been to the toilet, feh!")
2. (p.205) There is at least one subset of Hasidim where the rabbi wears 18 sets of fringes (tzitsit).
3. Some people believe that a man should recite the Shema right during ejaculation. (pps. 132, 157).
4. (p.66) Some people believe that it is good to tie a cord onto one's ankle to prevent the possibility of rolling over and having a wet dream.
*******
I happen to be a convert, and it has been my experience that most people who convert to Judaism have serious mental problems. (There was a book written by Bernice Weiss, and she did stories of probably about 12 people, 5 of whom had...... problems. Mann herself describes (p.199) People "using religion to hide their skeletons." And we don't even need to go into my own personal observations.)
But then, people who are born Jewish and go off the derech are just as likely to have.....problems.
This is the 7th one of these going-off-the-derech books that I have read, and I would say that 5 of the 6 people from the first books had serious problems.
Leah Lax--"Uncovered." (Grandiose lesbian.)
Deborah Feldman-- "Unorthodox"/"Exodus". (Drama Junkie.)
Leah Vincent--"Sin and Salvation." (Borderline personality. Self harm.)
Abby Stein--"Becoming Eve." (Uncertain. She may have been genuinely transgender, but definitely had drama junkie tendencies.)
Rachel/Ruth Shilsky--"The Color of Water." (Sexual abuse. Teenage pregnancy.)
Shulem Deen--"All Who Go Do Not Return" (Normal guy with doubts.)
In the case of our author here, she makes it 6 out of 7.
I think that Mann was just EXTREMELY concupiscent by nature, with probably some confounding mental issues (or maybe the other way around) but no appropriate sexual outlet. (As quiet as it is kept: there are just as many horny women out there as there are men.)
******
I can't conclude from Mann's story that an unhealthy Orthodox/Haredi attitude toward sexuality has all kinds of spillover effects--and that's because her family/upbringing was not really even Orthodox. (More like on the right wing of Masorti Judaism.)
1. This lustful author *really* wanted to go out and get her various orifices challenged. (She certainly isn't the first, nor will she be the last.)
But there are healthy ways to do that, and she didn't choose any of them.
-Losing her virginity in her father's synagogue on the bima steps? (p. 103)
-Group sex?
-(p.23) Screwing the girls in seminary? (And the thing is, she never had any further relationships with women after seminary. So that wasn't her thing. But, she just did it for what reason?)
2. Some of the things that she admitted to were just...... creepy. (p.278)
Such as:
-Bringing her creepy unemployed, drug addict boyfriend back to the house and then being loudly pumped by him within earshot of her children? (The oldest of whom was probably about 10?)
-And then ignoring the confused cries of the children when they thought that their mother was being injured in some way?
-Letting Creepy Boyfriend walk around the house in his underwear in front of her children?
3. Drug abuse (cocaine/pot/ecstasy/quaaludes/heroin/ etc) was a running theme throughout the book.
And then, after it was all said and done... Creepy Drug Addict Boyfriend dumped her after being brought back on the derech by her ex-husband? (How does your ex-husband end up officiating your boyfriend's brother's funeral? At the end of it, ex-husband was putting tallit and tefillin on her soon-to-be ex-boyfriend.)
4. Her mother had very evident mental problems, and appeared to be a pill popper. (Her daughter ended up sending her to a psychiatrist by the time she brought her to Israel. And she finally did commit suicide after all those years of threatening.)
5. Okay, so she finishes the book as a celibate yoga practitioner?
*******
Minor quibble: I wish Mann would pick one language or the other to use in this book. The spelling is all American, but she talks about things like smoking a "fåg" (p.193) and being "chuffed" about something (p. 328).
*******
Conclusion: If you want to scare your kids about going off the derech, herewith is one particular book (in the midst of at least six others that I have read) that will frighten them back on the straight and narrow.
Verdict: Weak recommendation.
July 28, 2018
Saya menemukan buku ini dari 2nd hand book fair, paling suka deh baca fiction dengan latar belakang tertentu yang saya totally blind sehingga saya bisa tahu hal2 yang eye opening dan merasa whoaaa~
Buku ini rada2 sultry, mungkin masuk dalam genre romantic mepet2, kadang2 detailnya terlalu blegh..vulgar, tapi saya memberi 3.5 karena banyak hal yg saya belajar dari buku ini tentang kehidupan org Yahudi di Israel :
- kasta religious students yang setiap hari kerjanya merenungi Taurat, mereka hidup gak kerja dibayar oleh negara (kaum Lewi kalau di Alkitab) yang membangkitkan cemburu sosial org awam
-gap di dalam kepercayaan mereka, rasanya dalam agama apapun ada spektrum dari yang radikal sampai yang loose, dan ini membuat sesama org Yahudi pun bete2an sama org2 satu agama, persis banget sama yang saya perhatikan di Indonesia, setidaknya untuk agama Kristen dan Islam
-ketatnya mereka melalukan hukum kosher dalam makanan bisa membuat satu rumah punya 2 dapur, yang satu utk yg menggunakan susu, yang satu yang bukan, karena dalam Taurat tidak boleh memasak daging dalam susu ibunya (jadi kalau kayak beef with cream milk sauce itu gak boleh)
-ketat dalam hubungan pria dan wanita bahkan suami istri pun kalau istri lagi datang bulang bersentuhan aja gak boleh, misalnya harus hati2 kalau oper2an garam di meja makan, atau suami untuk beberapa saat harus pisah kamar dengan istri
-istri nya harus masuk ke dalam kolam khusus sesudah selesai mens supaya 'kosher' buat suaminya
-saking ketatnya, istri2 bisa bawa kain/celana dalem yang bernoda oleh yang dicurigai darah menstruasi ke Rabbi yang melihat dan menentukan itu darah atau bukan ...mwahahaha..gak kebayang
Buku ini rada2 sultry, mungkin masuk dalam genre romantic mepet2, kadang2 detailnya terlalu blegh..vulgar, tapi saya memberi 3.5 karena banyak hal yg saya belajar dari buku ini tentang kehidupan org Yahudi di Israel :
- kasta religious students yang setiap hari kerjanya merenungi Taurat, mereka hidup gak kerja dibayar oleh negara (kaum Lewi kalau di Alkitab) yang membangkitkan cemburu sosial org awam
-gap di dalam kepercayaan mereka, rasanya dalam agama apapun ada spektrum dari yang radikal sampai yang loose, dan ini membuat sesama org Yahudi pun bete2an sama org2 satu agama, persis banget sama yang saya perhatikan di Indonesia, setidaknya untuk agama Kristen dan Islam
-ketatnya mereka melalukan hukum kosher dalam makanan bisa membuat satu rumah punya 2 dapur, yang satu utk yg menggunakan susu, yang satu yang bukan, karena dalam Taurat tidak boleh memasak daging dalam susu ibunya (jadi kalau kayak beef with cream milk sauce itu gak boleh)
-ketat dalam hubungan pria dan wanita bahkan suami istri pun kalau istri lagi datang bulang bersentuhan aja gak boleh, misalnya harus hati2 kalau oper2an garam di meja makan, atau suami untuk beberapa saat harus pisah kamar dengan istri
-istri nya harus masuk ke dalam kolam khusus sesudah selesai mens supaya 'kosher' buat suaminya
-saking ketatnya, istri2 bisa bawa kain/celana dalem yang bernoda oleh yang dicurigai darah menstruasi ke Rabbi yang melihat dan menentukan itu darah atau bukan ...mwahahaha..gak kebayang
June 12, 2014
Oh man, did it take me a long time to finish this book! 1 or 2 years I think. I dropped it midway, and picked it back up where I left... I would give it 2.5 stars but unfortunately, goodreads only allows whole numbers :)
Anyway, I really got glued to the first half of the book and thought it was great! It talked about all the laws in Judaism that the orthodox people in Israel follow, a real eye-opener and very interesting.
It was also interesting to see how a girl who was so much into sex and drugs sought after religion to fill the emptiness within her and attempted to marry someone to fill the emptiness and later on, she realizes that the emptiness is still there... I liked the ending as well.
There were some parts in the book that got super boring and I found it to be a little too much about her, but then again, this is a memoir after all. But what I'm talking about is, she constantly felt empty and neglected at times and this theme was very common throughout the book.
Overall, it was alright. Great first half, but bits and pieces boring, and I loved the ending where she re-united with her sister and saw her for who she actually was, rather than idealizing her or showing her off to others as something she wasn't, like her mom used to do.
Anyway, I really got glued to the first half of the book and thought it was great! It talked about all the laws in Judaism that the orthodox people in Israel follow, a real eye-opener and very interesting.
It was also interesting to see how a girl who was so much into sex and drugs sought after religion to fill the emptiness within her and attempted to marry someone to fill the emptiness and later on, she realizes that the emptiness is still there... I liked the ending as well.
There were some parts in the book that got super boring and I found it to be a little too much about her, but then again, this is a memoir after all. But what I'm talking about is, she constantly felt empty and neglected at times and this theme was very common throughout the book.
Overall, it was alright. Great first half, but bits and pieces boring, and I loved the ending where she re-united with her sister and saw her for who she actually was, rather than idealizing her or showing her off to others as something she wasn't, like her mom used to do.
December 3, 2016
It was recommended in a book group. I did not expect this memoir to grip me so much. Do not expect great literature when you start reading it. But expect honesty, reaching really deep. It's very hard to put down, as it's really well-written and grips you with the reality of words and feelings.
It's a trip into the world of Orthodox Jews, fascinating by itself. It is also a trip inside the mind and heart of a young woman, inadverdently harmed by her parents, looking for love (in all the wrong places), who first was a junkie-hippy-promiscuous rich Londoner, only to turn into an Orthodox Jewish girl and wife - to learn this is not what she wants. The reader goes with Reva as she goes through her transitions, from the careless love-seeker to the proper Jewish wife and mom, who realizes this is not the right life for her. Painful at times, as I really sympathized with the protagonist. Really really worth reading.
It's also a story on how the tragedy of having a heavily disabled child in the family influences the whole family (food for thought for some people ...). I highly recommend it!
It's a trip into the world of Orthodox Jews, fascinating by itself. It is also a trip inside the mind and heart of a young woman, inadverdently harmed by her parents, looking for love (in all the wrong places), who first was a junkie-hippy-promiscuous rich Londoner, only to turn into an Orthodox Jewish girl and wife - to learn this is not what she wants. The reader goes with Reva as she goes through her transitions, from the careless love-seeker to the proper Jewish wife and mom, who realizes this is not the right life for her. Painful at times, as I really sympathized with the protagonist. Really really worth reading.
It's also a story on how the tragedy of having a heavily disabled child in the family influences the whole family (food for thought for some people ...). I highly recommend it!
December 25, 2007
So now I finished it, and my initial pure smut impressions remain. The author's conflicts about Orthodoxy are depicted through her various sexual experiences and other bad decisions, basically. She's a messed-up chick, and while I occasionally felt sorry for her, I mostly felt disgusted by her choices, many of which were just ridiculous. I do give her credit for writing a pretty readable book (if you can handle the content, with its self-destructive misery and frequent graphic sex), and for displaying some apparently genuine sympathy toward her characters despite the largely negative way in which she paints them. I also realized that one of the difficulties of writing a memoir is that you usually can't reconstruct the dialogue accurately and are forced to approximate it, which gives you a lot of leeway -- perhaps too much. I think the dialogue was a factor in making this story feel artificial and exaggerated at times.
April 25, 2011
This book almost reads as a thriller... you want to know what happens and I couldn't put it down. Amazing true story and so well written.
However, I did feel that after the divorce from Simha the motif diverges a little from religion and goes on to be just a story of survival (cancer, loneliness, problems with the parents) so there could be 2 different books - one about survival and another about the passage from the drug-sex-life to the ultra religious, and out again to somewhere in between - the story which I was more interested in. I would definitely like to meet this woman! Also I find it interesting she did not have any other relationships after Sam and chose to live celibate. I wonder whether that has changed.
The other comment I had was that the passage out of the ultra-orthodox life after the third child was a little too quick for me.
I wonder who in her family and friends read the book and also how this book reads to an non-Jew.
However, I did feel that after the divorce from Simha the motif diverges a little from religion and goes on to be just a story of survival (cancer, loneliness, problems with the parents) so there could be 2 different books - one about survival and another about the passage from the drug-sex-life to the ultra religious, and out again to somewhere in between - the story which I was more interested in. I would definitely like to meet this woman! Also I find it interesting she did not have any other relationships after Sam and chose to live celibate. I wonder whether that has changed.
The other comment I had was that the passage out of the ultra-orthodox life after the third child was a little too quick for me.
I wonder who in her family and friends read the book and also how this book reads to an non-Jew.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 15, 2018
I read this book a few years ago, it was mentioned to me again recently by a friend to whom it had been recommended. This compelled me to write a review. This book frustrated and angered me. This is the story of a woman who ran away from her problems rather than facing them, and did so again and again. She turned to a religious community for escape rather than commitment, this community welcomed her and in response, she criticized them continuously. She got married despite having misgivings, never verbalized them, and then blamed her husband for her dissatisfaction. Never in the book do we see her trying to solve any of her problems, she never communicates appropriately with her husband or with her parents. I became increasingly frustrated reading this book as I held out hope that she would develop some sense of responsibility or even some insight. I only hope that she found a good therapist at some point in her life.
September 17, 2009
I couldn't stop reading this fascinating story of a British women in an arranged marriage.Her attempt to lead a strict Orthodox life breaks down when she realizes she really liked her old life of sex and drugs which she spends the bulk of the book telling us of her youth as a rabbi's daughter and granddaughter in London. (And of course how her parents didn't do right by her.) Most interesting was her portrayal of her immersion in the strict orthodox life, and the customs of the traditional bath, keeping a strict kosher kitchen, and the separation of men and women. The cover shows a woman's bare shoulders wrapped in a prayer shawl--this is certainly against the rules. Interesting and compelling reading, but like many memoirs, the author comes across as very self-absorbed and not easy to sympathize with her plight.
February 24, 2009
This book is crazy. I wanted to read a little more about Jewish Orthodoxy so I chose this memoir. It has some very interesting information about the far right of Judaism. I think the lead character is incredibly flawed and hopelessly sad. She turns to orthodoxy after being raised as a secular rabbi's daughter in London. She moves to Israel, studies at a yeshiva, and has an arranged marriage with a Hassid. She reminds me of a rebellious minister's kid because she immerses herself in all sorts of terrible things to escape her unbringing. She has numberous sexual partners, takes all kinds of drugs, and gets arrested. She turns to orthodoxy as a form of repentance. It's interesting to see her struggle. I suggest the book but warn the author is hardly a sympathetic character.
July 21, 2017
I admire Mann for her honesty in revealing her most personal struggles in her memoir, but I couldn't relate to her choices or her reactions to the challenges she faced in life. The time she spent in Yesheva and married to a Hassidic scholar were the most interesting parts of the book for me, but I found it hard to imagine that this rebellious, angry, sex-obsessed young woman convinced herself that they way to happiness and redemption lay in going to the opposite extreme. I didn't really like her much as she moved through various stages of her life - but in the end, I appreciated how Mann grew over time. By the end, I found her to be a far more sympathetic character than I did in the beginning.
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