Mozart and the Whale: An Asperger's Love Story

by Jerry Newport, Mary Newport, Johnny Dodd

A riveting and inspiring memoir about a couple who fell in love, fell apart, and finally overcame the pressures of fame, family, and Asperger's syndrome to build a life together.When Jerry and Mary Newport met, the connection was instant; neither had ever felt more comfortable. A musical genius and a mathematical wonder, the two shared astronomical IQs, but they also shared something else -- they both were diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, a form of autism that affects millions of Americans and makes social contact painfully unbearable. Finding each other after a lifetime of loneliness was a miracle. When Jerry and Mary married, they were catapulted into the limelight. They appeared on 60 Minutes and soon were known as "superstars in the world of autism," shining examples of two people who refused to give up in the face of their mutual challenges.

But just when it appeared that their lives would enjoy a fairy-tale ending, their marriage fell apart. The Hollywood feeding frenzy was too much to handle, and they divorced. After years of heartache, soul searching, and personal growth, Jerry and Mary remarried. Today, with their union stronger than ever, they have dedicated themselves to helping countless other people with Asperger's and autism lead lives of dignity. Mozart and the Whale is an unforgettable love story, the incredible chronicle of their journey together -- and apart.

Genres: Autistic Spectrum Disorder, Nonfiction, Memoir, Psychology, Aspergers, Biography, Romance

265 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2007

About the author

Gerald David "Jerry" Newport is an author and public speaker with Asperger syndrome whose life was the basis for the 2005 feature-length movie Mozart and the Whale. He is known for his frank advice and humor when giving presentations. A graduate of the University of Michigan with a B.A. in mathematics, he is also a savant with the ability to perform difficult mathematical calculations in his head. He has two elder brothers, John and James (Jim).

Reviews

[Naomi · Rating 2 out of 5]

I've honestly never read this book, because it opens with the worst first chapter I've ever seen. I did watch the movie, and read interviews with the couple, but let's talk about the book.

First of all, I was very excited to read this book. I have Asperger's, and I NEVER find memoirs that talk about how an Aspie navigates things like dating, sex, and romantic relationships. Most books about Asperger's are written by someone who doesn't have it, and they focus on parenting or teaching a child who does. I've read every Aspie memoir I could find. They always describe childhood bullying, and then end happily ever after with the author married. They never explain how to get from point A to point B.

As determined as I was to read this book, I just couldn't. It opens in a very dramatic and triggering way, with suicidal confessions because of problems in the relationship. Wait, what? We don't even know the couple yet! How are we already plunged into darkness before we have been introduced to them, or had a chance to give a damn about them? Is this supposed to pull in the reader? It doesn't. It made me very uncomfortable.

I'm glad that this couple was able to be so open & honest about their relationship. And of course we know it works out in the end. It's great that this book exists. I just think whoever edited this needs to get their shit together. There's nothing wrong with chronological order. Stop trying to drum up suspense in the first sentence.

Also I feel anyone who wants to read this book or watch the movie needs a trigger warning. It is very dark & depressing, no matter how it ends. It's a lot for someone to take in if they have Asperger's & think they may never be able to have a healthy relationship.

[Megan Aussprung · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting glimpse into two very different brains.

[Caitlin · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a very interesting read. These two (Jerry and Mary) have had so many life experiences, and not all of them good, I'm not suprised that there were suicide attempts with what they had to go through and how human race treated them.

This book is not always lighthearted (see above) but I'm glad that last chapter was more upbeat. I almost laughed about men with Autism and their dating habits because Jerry wrote it so well and vivid I could almost see it (I'm talking about their New Years Eve Party). I also liked how Mary described love in the end "He loved me for my good qualities and he seemed to see them in me when no else could. Ours definitely isn't a black and white love story. It's one that constantly explodes with all the colors in the spectrum. It's brilliant, complex and filled with the promise that real love truly does conquer all." These two actually know what love is, it is not the chick flick every one lives happily ever after but the good and the bad put together.

[Sharron · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the true account of two people diagnosed with Asperger's, a type of Autism, who eventually find each other and fall in love. Both Jerry and Mary think they have found true love but life gets in the way and they end up separating. In the end, they do get back together but it seems tenuous. This story was heartbreaking. They both lived truly lonely lives. And just when it seemed they had found another person who could really understand, it was the Asperger's that tended to tear them apart. Even though this book is harrowing at times, I still found it to be very inspirational but at the same time not sappy. These are two very honest people who aren't afraid to show all their flaws. I read this book in a few short days and really couldn't wait to get to the ending. I'm definitely rooting for them to stay together.

[Greg · Rating 5 out of 5]

I saw the movie first and really identified a lot with the main character so was interested in reading the book to find out more about the couple who inspired the movie. Very compelling read.

[Desirée · Rating 4 out of 5]

Last year I watched the movie, without knowing it was based on a book. When I stumbled upon the book I knew I just had to read this.
Very different from the movie, but very interesting to read. This has quickly became a story close to my heart, as both me and my boyfriend have Asperger's.
It was very eye-opening and relatable to read this.

[Nora · Rating 4 out of 5]

lOVED IT AND THAT WAS BEFORE i KNEW JERRY ONLINE
sorry about the capslock
I think it illustrates how we can be individuals even with a common diagnosis
Too tired to write a decent review tonight

[HannaSofie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Intressant historia just för att den berättas av Jerry & Mary Newport själva. Ger en bättre inblick och förståelse för människor med Aspergers syndrom.

[Suzanne Berger · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book! I really appreciated the insights into the thought processes and behaviors of those with Asperger's Syndrome.

[Cathy · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very enjoyable read.

[Serbay GÜL · Rating 4 out of 5]

Yaşasın , Türkçe versiyonu eklenmemiş bir kitap buldum ve ben ekledim ^_^

[Sylvia · Rating 1 out of 5]

As an autistic person I noticed I tend to dislike books about people with autism/Asperger's. It's probably because of some generalisations they make and many things I cannot relate to.

[Holly · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was really interesting to read about Aspergers from a couple who grew up in an era before anybody knew what Asperger's was. (Man, we really treated people with developmental differences and mental illnesses VERYbadly, and still do!) Especially interesting was the effect that it had on their romantic/sexual relationships. For Jerry, Growing up in the proto-masculine era of the 50's and 60's seemed to define his early relationships with and treatment of women. For someone who didn't socialize typically, the frat-boy "gotta score with the Ladies!" attitude really was a detriment to his own development. However, he does describe, fairly accurately, what it is that makes some of these guys seem so creepy/stalky. They just see themselves as single minded and pursuing a goal to the finish, and really have no idea how their behavior is impacting others.
For Mary, the sexually acting out in her early teens was really disturbing, but more disturbing was her parents decision to send her off to a cult. Her LSD use, plus the abusive relationships she went through and resulting PTSD made her eventual love story with Jerry, and relatively settled life, all the more surprising and rewarding. I can't help but wonder if these two could have had much happier and more understood lives had they been born 50 years later.

[Linda · Rating 4 out of 5]

So-called “normal” people are made uncomfortable by what they don’t understand. And then they resort to abuse - verbal and physical. After years of not understanding even themselves, Jerry and Mary tried white picket fence marriage and, when that didn’t work, went for a more eclectic lifestyle that fit their physical and mental abilities. Like any relationship, it’s a work in progress but with love.

[Kyleigh · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the first autobiography I’ve read about an autistic relationship and it was beautifully written! Jerry and Mary’s lives, as individuals and as a married couple, were a joy to read about and has inspired me to think more deeply about what it means to love someone deeply in a way that is not self descriptive.

[MB · Rating 4 out of 5]

It is an interesting look into the aspergers world. I am glad to have read it.

[Deb · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 interesting perspective on the minds of people wired very differently from me!

[XJ · Rating 1 out of 5]

Incoherent

[Becca · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of my favorite quotes: "Here's what I'd tell those people out there like Jerry and me, who are trying to make their relationships work: Get a shoe box, decorate it up, and turn it into a treasure chest. Next, write down all the things that you and your mate love to do together on scraps of paper and place those scraps inside your treasure chest. Then, find a trash can, write down all your negative traits- not necessarily what you've been told not to like, but what it is that doesn't make you feel good about yourself. Toss all those scraps into the wastebasket. The last thing you need to do is ask yourself this simple question: What would I rather do- dig through a treasure chest or rummage through a trash can?"

For people who need to be explicitly taught many of the social skills that most people just pick up, intimate relationships can seem impossible. This book is a beautiful, true story of two Aspies who (eventually) beat the odds. In my work with youth with autism, some of their social failures can be both heart-breaking and aggravating. So many of the situations in this book were so familiar, including some that I have experienced first hand. It's so inspiring to read a true love story between two adults with autism- in spite of its many bumps/huge craters in the road!

[Gail · Rating 5 out of 5]

A hint: Mozart and the whale are Halloween costumes.
What an incredible, exhausting, and insightful telling this is, of the story of the relationship between two adults, both of whom have Asperger's Syndrome, a form of autism. While we all experience quirks and social discomforts once in a while, reading this was educational and helped me understand that relating socially can be quite painful,in a a very different realm for someone with this syndrome. Though there are many manifestations and degrees of Asperger's and autism, which in this acccount seem especially severe, readers will come away with a new appreciation for those attempting to find their way and their place socially.

[Riah · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was wonderful to read this book after seeing the not-so-great or accurate (albeit entertaining) movie. It led to fantastic discussion and much learning at our book club. So nice to be able to read an autobiographical account rather than an outsiders' perspective on living, coping, and dealing with regular life situations with a different outlook and expectation. My favorite part of this book and its style is that the neither author compromised who they were or tried to explain or excuse behaviors. The story was just the story as it should be. So refreshing!

[Christine · Rating 3 out of 5]

I had a cute,dear, friend refer this to me. It was very interesting to hear true-life experiences from this couple with Autism. They were both so vastly different! The Autism spectrum is so wide, you wonder if everyone has what I like to call an "Autistic moment"! That being said, I feel the novels' couple overcame (and are still) more of life's challenges than most people (Autistic or not) I know have had to deal with-myself included. It was an interesting and thought provoking memoir. I need chocolate now.

[Verna · Rating 4 out of 5]

The movie is an endearing, funny take-off on the book. However, the actual story is a serious peace of work with much more insight and details of what it is like to have Asperger's. At first I had a little problem with Jerry and Mary taking turns speaking, but once I got a feel for their voices,I settled into a smooth read. One thing I noticed is the difference between men and women who have Autism/Asperger's. Quite striking. This is truly a fascinating love story about two people who are soul mates. Good read!

[Katherine · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book is co or tri-written by two people with Asperger's who eventually meet, fall in love, marry, divorce and remarry. I knew little about this disease - a form of autism. My problem with the book is that despite the descriptions of their feelings I never felt like I really got inside them and understood what it was really like to be them. Mary's life was so horrendous as to have made anyone crazy. Will be interested in hearing Riah's take on the story and the disease and our January book group.

[Joyce Heinen · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was really interested in reading this book. People with Asperger syndrome have problems with socializing so this made it even more interesting because "Mozart and the Whale" deals with Jerry and Mary, who both have Asperger syndrome and they fall in love. It's a true story, written by a ghost writer but that doesn't make you hear Jerry and Mary's voice any less. Although the thematics of the book really spoke to me, it wasn't as interesting as I hoped it would be. I wasn't 'grabbed' by it. I actually feel really bad about it, because I wished it touched me more.

[Lilly · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book very insightful, and at times heartbreaking to read, about the lives of two people who have Asperger's syndrome and are also savants. Being married to a man who has Asperger's, as well as having a son who has it, this book was of particular interest to me. The two main characters, Mary and Jerry, have my admiration in trying to function in a world that often does not make sense to them. They exhibit great courage in their struggles to adapt, in what they found to be for them, confusing life situations.

[Tymber · Rating 2 out of 5]

Poorly written and all over the place. Dodd should have helped them edit it into a more cohesive and coherent piece. I'm on the spectrum and really wanted to get through this book but, I just could not do it. I'm half way through and it's about to put me into a reading slump. The movie is much better in this case and I rarely choose the movie over the book. Maybe they will update the book one day and edit it a bit better for a re-release. I believe their story could be interesting and impactful but, they get a bit lost in the minutiae and the chaos.

[Andi · Rating 4 out of 5]

"We both learned that just because our heads weren't naturally wired for love, it didn't mean our hearts weren't." If you know someone personally who is autistic or Asperger's, this will give you a glimpse into their world. I found the two different perspectives to be fascinating. Their stories, at times, were painfully sad. It made me angry! But in the end, I was filled with hope that life can still be good.

[Bernadette Parasolle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Basically a view into the lives of two individuals with Asperberger's and possible other mental health issues. Book would be more readable if instead of switching between Jerry and Mary in the beginning, they told Jerry's story up until he meets Mary, Mary's story until she meets Jerry and then their journey together. Instead the switch back and forth making especially the early chapters confusing.

[Epskamp-hunts · Rating 3 out of 5]

An honest and sometimes gut-wrenching insight to the lives of people struggling with autism and apsergers syndrome. I was touched by the honest discussion of the feelings of disconnectedness from community and normality, lonliness, and "otherness" these people suffer from. A great resource for educators and parents dealing with special needs children with autism.