Affirmations for the Inner Child

by Rokelle Lerner

All of us need positive affirmation throughout our lives. As children, these powerful messages helped us to know that we were worthwhile, that it was all right to want food and to be touched, and that our very existence was a precious gift. The messages that we received from our parents helped us to form decisions that determined the course of our lives.
If we were raised with consistent, nurturing parents, we conclude that life is meaningful and that people are to be trusted. If we were raised with parents who were addictively or compulsively ill, we determine that life is threatening and chaotic--that we are not deserving of joy. These are the crucial decisions that impact our lives long after we have forgotten them.
Unfortunately, childhood judgments don't disappear. They remain as dynamic forces that contaminate our adulthood. When childhood needs are not taken care of because of abuse or abandonment, we spend our lives viewing the world through the distorted perception of a needy infant or an angry adolescent. The more we push these child parts away, the more control they have over us.
This collection of daily meditations is dedicated to those adults who are ready to heal their childhood wounds. It is through this courageous effort that we will move from a life of pain into recovery.

Genres: Self Help, Psychology, Nonfiction, Spirituality, Reference

384 pages, Paperback

First published April 1, 1990

Reviews

[Laurla2 · Rating 5 out of 5]

"i will allow my inner child to receive constructive criticism. inside of me lives a 12 year old who takes every remark as a criticism. this inner child transforms every comment into a judgment of her self worth: 'you're bad. you cant do anything right'. so she plants her feet, puts her hands on her hips and yells back: 'shut up! you cant tell me what to do!' i'm worn out by her angry combative stance. today i will allow my inner child to receive constructive criticism. i can listen to the feedback from others without becoming defensive. i can take some time to reflect on it and ask myself, 'does this behavior need to change?'. i no longer have the need to say, 'you are wrong' to make myself 'right'. my inner self is already right. i can change my actions to reflect her shining image."
"i radiate inner light in this season of darkness. new life is conceived and nurtured in restful darkness. seeds planted below the ground protect the young plant from cold and wind. the seed lies dormant and waits for the right season to begin its growth. as an adult child, i sometimes feel impatient with my progress. 'day by day' sounds hollow to my ears when i feel i'm stuck on a plateau. i will remember that each plateau is a place to gather my energy for the next change. i will treat myself with patience and gentleness during this time of unseen growth. today i will welcome the stages of my inner childs development in this season of lengthening nights, i radiate the inner light of new life.

[Luna Corbden · Rating 5 out of 5]

Upon recommendation, I read this nearly every day for about 3 years (back in the mid-1990s). It really helped me overcome a lot of the dysfunctional beliefs I had at the time. It was a great comfort and helped make me a more healthy person. Now and then, I'd like to start reading it daily again, but the spine is completely broken. I may buy another copy.

A solid, grounded affirmations book for anyone in recovery.

[Moriah · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a wonderful little book!! It truly guided me through the year and I found myself unconsciously doing the things it set forth in my mind. A very important little tool to have on my healing journey and loved it so much that I shared it with many people that I knew would also take great fulfillment in healing parts of their inner child. Would highly recommend, even if you didn't grow up in an abusive family.

[C.J. Prince · Rating 5 out of 5]

Daily affirmations that address those hidden places we forget about and that guide our lives. Every inner child was undoubtedly wounded in some way (well, that's my experience. I only knew one person who said her childhood was perfect and her life turned out challenging.)

Anyway, this is a great way to start the day. I leave it by on the dining table by the side of my place mat.

[Jennifer · Rating 2 out of 5]

Wasn’t for me, but I hope it’s helpful to others.
Some of these are good affirmations. But they also include stuff like “As a child *something about having alcoholic parents*”.
I understand the author has another book called “Daily Affirmations for the Adult Children of Alcoholics.” So I’m not sure why that content spilled over into a general Inner Child book.

[ukuklele · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sewaktu masih suka main Pinterest, saya pernah terinspirasi untuk bikin jurnal afirmasi positif. Katakanlah, selama 10 menit setiap pagi, menuliskan kalimat-kalimat positif untuk diri sendiri, untuk meredam segala pikiran negatif yang kerap menghantui. Tapi, ide tersebut enggak pernah terwujud. Selain rasa-rasanya seperti membohongi diri sendiri (?), saya telah menemukan kegiatan lain yang efektif mengalihkan pikiran-pikiran tak-perlu. Ide itu pun terlupa, hingga buku ini mengingatkan saya.

Buku ini seperti catatan harian, karena setiap entrinya diberi tanggal dari 1 Januari sampai 31 Desember. Tiap entri singkat saja, terdiri dari hanya beberapa paragraf pendek. Kalimat-kalimatnya sederhana, dalam kosakata sehari-hari, sehingga buku ini mestilah dapat menjadi bacaan yang ringan dan mudah bagi pembaca yang bahasa ibunya bukan bahasa Inggris sekalipun. Seandainya saya sendiri yang menuliskan catatan harian ini, tiap entri sepertinya hanya memerlukan 15 menit sehari.

Isi tiap entri kurang lebih mengakui latar keluarga yang buruk, sehingga menciptakan masa lalu yang tidak menyenangkan serta pribadi yang kesulitan dengan dirinya sendiri, lalu tekad untuk meninggalkannya, menggantikannya dengan pengalaman baru yang positif, dan menguatkan diri dalam menjalaninya.

Latar keluarga yang buruk sering kali disebabkan oleh ketidakadekuatan orang tua dalam membesarkan anak. Ada orang tua yang pencandu, ada orang tua yang terlalu mengontrol. Akibatnya, ada anak yang justru menjadi orang tua bagi orang tuanya sendiri, ada juga anak yang tidak bisa menentukan keputusan sendiri. Masa anak-anak yang tidak adekuat ini menyebabkan ada bagian dari diri seseorang yang tidak berkembang sepenuhnya; sepertinya itulah yang disebut sebagai "inner child". Afirmasi dalam setiap entri buku ini hendak menenteramkan si anak batin itu; menyugesti pembaca agar menjadi orang tua yang bijak baginya. Sewaktu-waktu si anak batin mesti dilepas agar dapat menjadi dirinya sendiri sesuka hati, tapi adakalanya pula ia mesti dikendalikan.

Buat saya pribadi, pada awalnya, afirmasi masih berkesan seperti kebohongan. Selain itu, saya enggak bisa selalu mengaitkan diri dengan situasi-situasi yang dikemukakan. Misalnya saja, soal orang tua alkoholik dan juga helikopter (maksudnya helicopter parent yaitu orang tua yang sangat mengontrol anaknya, terutama dalam kehidupan akademis). Walaupun saya juga punya masalah-masalah dengan orang tua saya, tapi kasusnya tidak seperti itu. Ada juga soal seksualitas dan gender-yang-salah; bagi pembaca Indonesia berlatar budaya seperti saya, topik semacam itu bikin sungkan untuk diangkat ke permukaan. Bisa dibilang konteks-konteks dalam buku ini sepertinya sangat Barat atau Amerika Serikat sekali. Walaupun tadi saya bilang buku ini dapat menjadi bacaan yang ringan dan mudah, kebijaksanaan pembaca tetap diperlukan.

Bagaimanapun juga, sekali memulai suatu buku, sebaiknya diteruskan sampai tuntas. Berangsur-angsur, saya mulai nyaman dengan afirmasi-afirmasi ini dan berpikir, "Buku ini bagus juga." Toh, walaupun enggak semuanya, ada juga isi buku ini yang cocok dengan situasi hidup saya dan sepertinya layak dipraktikkan. Malah timbul keinginan untuk coba menerjemahkan buku ini--satu entri per hari--sebagai pengganti ide jurnal afirmasi pribadi yang tidak jadi terlaksana itu. Tentu sepertinya lebih kreatif kalau membuat jurnal afirmasi sendiri, dengan kalimat-kalimat sendiri yang sesuai dengan kondisi kehidupan sendiri. Kalau dalam bahasa motivator mah: "kekuatan sugesti".

[Daisy L · Rating 5 out of 5]

Yes, some of the affirmations are a bit too precise/not relevant to everyone’s situation (like the ones about growing up in an alcoholic family). all in all, though, this little book is full of excellent daily reminders to love and be there for yourself, especially when your family of origin didn’t parent you well enough to give you an innate ability to do that for yourself.

[Jen C · Rating 3 out of 5]

There were a few really impactful pages in here. I had to force myself to read it because it felt a little condescending early on and it doesn't always feel like affirmations. But, I'm glad I finally finished.

[Nataniel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Czasem sprzeczne (jak w sumie potrzeby wewnętrznego dziecka) i trochę na wyrost z jednym na każdy dzień, ale myślę że dobrze odnosi się w większości do tych emocji, trafniej niż sporo innych self-help rzeczy

[Bno · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is great in a lot of ways, until I came upon some affirmations about sexuality that really push compulsory sexuality.

I'm not implying sexuality is shameful in any way, but it's also not helpful to make a blanket statement that everybody should be a sexual being in order to be healthy and whole.

In my years of recovery, I've discovered for myself that it is just as valid to decenter and deprioritize sexuality as it is to celebrate it. And one doesn't have to take away from the other. Sadly, these affirmations don't reflect that at all.

Updated to add: encountered fatphobia in these readings that is really disappointing, not inclusive, and not inner child friendly!! It's okay to have a fat body. Fat bodies have always existed. Being thin is not morally superior.

[Jo-jo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really powerful book for meditations and affirmations for the inner child.

[Becky · Rating 5 out of 5]

I needed this! So helpful!