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Today I Am a Ma'am: and Other Musings On Life, Beauty, and Growing Older
Valerie Harper has a message for women of a certain "Work those laugh lines!" With the irreverence and wit that made her one of television's most beloved personalities, Harper (a.k.a. Rhoda Morgenstern) takes on those phony "fabulous at 50" books written by women whose skin is free of laugh lines and who wouldn't know a cellulite pocket if it bit them on the backside. With her trademark shoot-from-the-hip, call-'em-like-she-sees-'em style, she helps women celebrate, with humor and grace, what it means to be middle aged. Harper's essays explore the treacherous terrain women must travel -- from the tyrannies of fashion to the unmentionables of menopause. She tackles the most perplexing questions of the If you wear a size zero, do you exist? Would menopause be revered if it happened to men? Do calories count if you eat standing up? Are dressing rooms fitted with fun house mirrors? Today I Am a Ma'am is the perfect antidote to the youth obsession of our culture, offered by America's most reliable girlfriend. It is Humor Replacement Therapy for midlife women, a book you can pick up when ever you need a laugh or a reminder that midriff drift is not the end of the world.
176 pages, Hardcover
First published April 1, 2001
15 people are currently reading
128 people want to read
About the author
Valerie Harper
59 books18 followersValerie Harper was an Emmy and Golden Globe winning American actress. She began her career as a dancer on Broadway. Harper is best remembered for her role as Rhoda Morgenstern on The Mary Tyler Moore Show and its spin-off Rhoda in the 1970s.
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Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews
June 7, 2019
I liked this book for all that it was quite short and written in "one-liner comedy" form. I loved Valerie on Rhoda and on The Mary Tyler Moore Show so when I saw this book on Amazon, I HAD to buy it. I wasn't disappointed and yet I will admit I was. I expected a book like the late Erma Bombeck's books but that wasn't what I got. Oh, it was just as funny and heartening as anything Erma put out but it didn't have the "weight" (for lack of a better word) that Erma's books had. Still, it was an entertaining read and there was no problem seeing Valerie Harper in all the one-liners. While reading the book, I felt like I was right there talking to both Rhoda and Valerie while seeing myself also through their words.
One thing this book isn't is a biography so if you're looking to read it as a biography of Valerie Harper you may be disappointed. But if you're looking for laughs Rhoda/Valerie Harper style, you won't be disappointed.
One thing this book isn't is a biography so if you're looking to read it as a biography of Valerie Harper you may be disappointed. But if you're looking for laughs Rhoda/Valerie Harper style, you won't be disappointed.
April 14, 2023
I wish I had read this book ten years ago. But I think reading it at the age that Valerie was when she wrote it is okay too. It is good to read of things that others have felt and done that you have and laugh about it.
June 26, 2015
Hilarious!!!!
May 19, 2016
A quick easy to read book with some surprising insight. I'd highly recommend this to anyone over the age of 25.
I am left wondering though, what is the male equivalent to Bimbo?
I am left wondering though, what is the male equivalent to Bimbo?
June 9, 2019
Meh...
I got this book expecting a good laugh. I only finished reading it because I paid for it and it was relatively short. It reads less like a book and more like short little quips. I didn't find it particularly humorous, but there was some good wisdom dispersed throughout. And it did peak an interest in checking out the May Tyler Moore show, which was popular when my mother was a young mom.
I got this book expecting a good laugh. I only finished reading it because I paid for it and it was relatively short. It reads less like a book and more like short little quips. I didn't find it particularly humorous, but there was some good wisdom dispersed throughout. And it did peak an interest in checking out the May Tyler Moore show, which was popular when my mother was a young mom.
January 17, 2023
Written 20 years ago, still resonates today. This book was short, cute and, at times, laugh-out-loud funny! Valerie Harper was a national treasure.
January 27, 2023
Cute. Brief. In line with her type of humor.
September 16, 2019
It was little and cute and fun.
April 3, 2014
Once readers get over the shock that Harper (who won four Emmy awards playing Rhoda Morgenstern on The Mary Tyler Moore Show and Rhoda) is now in her 70s, her gently funny and age-positive ruminations will soothe the aftershock ("How old does that make me?"). This light, sincere, cartoon-filled guide for "women of a certain age" pokes fun at this age group's lack of representation in films (Jane Fonda responds, "What's the worst thing about being a beautiful, glamorous star over fifty? Watching each year as Bob Redford's leading ladies get younger and younger") and plastic surgery mania ("The transformation isn't from old to young. It's from old to scary"). Mainly, though, the book celebrates an age at which women can finally relax. Following advice from Ruth Gordon ("I decided to get older instead of getting old. Because old is a destination; older is a process and a path"), Harper embraces her "senior moments" and droopy upper arms and thighs that are "like dimpled twin dough boys, nestled together against the cold." Wry and wise, Harper dares women to be "real" and reminds us that those "fabulous at 50" women on magazine covers have a hidden crew of professionals and technicians who labor to produce that look.
I interviewed Valerie Harper for PUBLISHERS WEEKLY in 2001 when this book came out. Here it is:
PW: Today I Am a Ma'am is a humorous but sincere look at "women of a certain age." How did it develop into a book?
Valerie Harper: I'd been approached over the years about writing a book. I signed a contract and began working with a coauthor, but it wasn't forthcoming. I began to question if an autobiography was a good idea. When Mary [Tyler Moore] wrote her autobiography, she spent years on it, and she felt it from her heart. I think I have too little to hide to be interesting. Maybe when I'm 80, but now I'm too young to write an autobiography [laughing]. I'm only 60.
PW: How did you work with your coauthor, Catherine Whitney?
VH: I've known Catherine since my early days as a dancer in New York. Once that original contract ran out, I began working with Catherine, since the publisher was still interested in a book. We came up with the idea of writing short pieces on subjects that women of a certain age face. I started talking to girlfriends—well, women friends, we're far from girls [laughing]. We started collecting stories from friends I've known for 40 years. I thought I could share what women friends my age laugh about. So, I guess the genesis of the book was wanting to share the laughter, the silly stuff and the hopefully inspiring stories of women my age.
PW: What are some of the things you hope people will take away from the book?
VH: Don't accept or be crippled by the media hype that aging is bad or shameful. The average age for menopause is 52. One hundred years ago women lived to be 55, so menopause signaled the end of life. Now we live to be over 100. I want women to experience themselves as absolutely viable for at least another 30 years. I want them to ask themselves, "What am I going to do with the next 30 years ahead of me?"
PW: The book also addresses self-esteem issues with humor.
VH: It's easier to get the message through with humor. It's still a burden that women are judged by how they look and men by what they do. Women and young girls are constantly judging themselves by standards that aren't real. It's like those phony "Fabulous at 50" photo shoots you see in magazines. Magazines airbrush everything. If you think it's an illusion, then it probably is. It's not that Jennifer Lopez and Julia Roberts ask for it, magazines just do it to sell more copies. I've gone through it before. I've seen myself after a photo shoot and said, "Wow! I wish I looked like that!" God bless Tyne Daly with her gray hair. I think she's the only woman on TV with her natural hair color.
PW: Is it harder for an actress or actor to age when, as in your case, there are daily reruns of yourself from 30 years ago?
VH: I always felt more like a character actress, even on The Mary Tyler Moore Show and Rhoda. I was always trying to be funny rather than glamorous. I think it's much worse for the glamour dolls. I haven't had any work done yet. But that's thanks to good genes. It's easier for actors than actresses. Actors are permitted to age. Gray hair on a man is elegant, but women are treated like they have a shelf-life. I went through the fear of aging and got on the other side of it. A lot of good things come from aging. There's great freedom in not caring what people think. Who would want to be 18 again, with all that anxiety and bad skin? The trick is to enjoy the time you're in. Embrace it. I'm looking forward to 80, not bemoaning that I'm 60.
I interviewed Valerie Harper for PUBLISHERS WEEKLY in 2001 when this book came out. Here it is:
PW: Today I Am a Ma'am is a humorous but sincere look at "women of a certain age." How did it develop into a book?
Valerie Harper: I'd been approached over the years about writing a book. I signed a contract and began working with a coauthor, but it wasn't forthcoming. I began to question if an autobiography was a good idea. When Mary [Tyler Moore] wrote her autobiography, she spent years on it, and she felt it from her heart. I think I have too little to hide to be interesting. Maybe when I'm 80, but now I'm too young to write an autobiography [laughing]. I'm only 60.
PW: How did you work with your coauthor, Catherine Whitney?
VH: I've known Catherine since my early days as a dancer in New York. Once that original contract ran out, I began working with Catherine, since the publisher was still interested in a book. We came up with the idea of writing short pieces on subjects that women of a certain age face. I started talking to girlfriends—well, women friends, we're far from girls [laughing]. We started collecting stories from friends I've known for 40 years. I thought I could share what women friends my age laugh about. So, I guess the genesis of the book was wanting to share the laughter, the silly stuff and the hopefully inspiring stories of women my age.
PW: What are some of the things you hope people will take away from the book?
VH: Don't accept or be crippled by the media hype that aging is bad or shameful. The average age for menopause is 52. One hundred years ago women lived to be 55, so menopause signaled the end of life. Now we live to be over 100. I want women to experience themselves as absolutely viable for at least another 30 years. I want them to ask themselves, "What am I going to do with the next 30 years ahead of me?"
PW: The book also addresses self-esteem issues with humor.
VH: It's easier to get the message through with humor. It's still a burden that women are judged by how they look and men by what they do. Women and young girls are constantly judging themselves by standards that aren't real. It's like those phony "Fabulous at 50" photo shoots you see in magazines. Magazines airbrush everything. If you think it's an illusion, then it probably is. It's not that Jennifer Lopez and Julia Roberts ask for it, magazines just do it to sell more copies. I've gone through it before. I've seen myself after a photo shoot and said, "Wow! I wish I looked like that!" God bless Tyne Daly with her gray hair. I think she's the only woman on TV with her natural hair color.
PW: Is it harder for an actress or actor to age when, as in your case, there are daily reruns of yourself from 30 years ago?
VH: I always felt more like a character actress, even on The Mary Tyler Moore Show and Rhoda. I was always trying to be funny rather than glamorous. I think it's much worse for the glamour dolls. I haven't had any work done yet. But that's thanks to good genes. It's easier for actors than actresses. Actors are permitted to age. Gray hair on a man is elegant, but women are treated like they have a shelf-life. I went through the fear of aging and got on the other side of it. A lot of good things come from aging. There's great freedom in not caring what people think. Who would want to be 18 again, with all that anxiety and bad skin? The trick is to enjoy the time you're in. Embrace it. I'm looking forward to 80, not bemoaning that I'm 60.
February 16, 2017
The freedom of aging. Short and innocuous, but not much to it.
June 23, 2014
Valerie Harper speaks her mind in this comic look at being an older woman in today’s society. Covering a variety of subjects, she expounds on the belief that women should embrace the age they are and not let advertisers and others dictate how they should look, act, and dress. Society may have an obsession with looking young, but Ms. Harper gives us plenty of reasons to look forward to being older, if you aren’t there already. Be proud of those laugh lines – they’re evidence of a life well lived. Written with insight liberally dosed with humor, these essays – and the accompanying illustrations – will entertain you even as they illuminate your thinking.
February 1, 2014
Valerie Harper delves into the world of WOACA - Women of A Certain Age - to offer encouragement and enlightenment for ladies as they age in a world fixated on youth; fun and would make a great gift for anyone's favorite WOACA.
May 17, 2016
Are you feeling old ?
Do yourself a favor and read this short lively ditty by a favorite comedian, Valerie Harper . Such funny, timeless advice sure to make you laugh and feel better about yourself ! At $.99 , it is well worth less than a buck !!
Do yourself a favor and read this short lively ditty by a favorite comedian, Valerie Harper . Such funny, timeless advice sure to make you laugh and feel better about yourself ! At $.99 , it is well worth less than a buck !!
February 11, 2011
Harper's message boils down to this: Live in the moment. Learn to like yourself.
June 27, 2013
Quick read. Will bring a smile of recognition to a member of the Baby Boomer generation.
March 22, 2014
Today I Am a Ma'am.....
Enjoyable read. Light - funny - and TRUE!! WOMEN--Love yourself and don't stay bound by society's youth obsession. Enjoy the freedom - you've earned it !!
Enjoyable read. Light - funny - and TRUE!! WOMEN--Love yourself and don't stay bound by society's youth obsession. Enjoy the freedom - you've earned it !!
June 3, 2014
This is a fun book filled with insights about being 60, but also with wit and wisdom about accepting and welcoming life changes.
May 8, 2016
A very quick read, but very enjoyable. Full of true, but witty observations for those of us who are no longer 21.
May 12, 2016
Rhoda
I always loved Valerie and her ideas this book is great I am61 she made me feel younger
Women of All ages should read this
I always loved Valerie and her ideas this book is great I am61 she made me feel younger
Women of All ages should read this
May 15, 2016
Fun read
Fun and easy read. Love reading her thoughts about growing older and not growing up, that's how I'm trying to live my life.
Fun and easy read. Love reading her thoughts about growing older and not growing up, that's how I'm trying to live my life.
May 25, 2016
Humorous observations about aging. "You can grow older without growing old "
Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews