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You Are Your Child's First Teacher: What Parents Can Do With and For Their Chlldren from Birth to Age Six
Nowadays parents are bombarded by any number of approaches about how to be with their children. YOU ARE YOUR CHILD'S FIRST TEACHER introduces a new way of understanding the human being so that parents can be best equipped to serve as their own children's best teachers. Chapters include: Caring for the Newborn, Helping Your Toddler's Development, The Development of Fantasy and Creative Play, Nourishing Your Child's Imagination, Rhythm and Discipline in Home Life, Readiness for School, and more.
400 pages, Paperback
First published May 1, 1989
346 people are currently reading
2312 people want to read
About the author
Rahima Baldwin Dancy
5 books14 followers I tell parents, "I made every mistake in the book--which is why I wrote the book": to share how the insights of Rudolf Steiner revolutionized my home life and my ability to meet the needs of my growing children--and the children I cared for, first as a Waldorf kindergarten teacher in the 1980s and then as director of Rainbow Bridge LifeWays Program from 2007 to the present.
In the1970s I wrote "Special Delivery" and became a homebirth midwife and childbirth activist, dedicated to protecting natural birth and its transformative power for families and society. At the same time I first discovered Waldorf education in response to the question, "What now? What do we do with these amazing children who are so full of life?" Like most parents, I was clueless, and I knew there had to be someone who could provide a coherent picture.
I remind parents that Rudolf Steiner never had any children; nonetheless, his insights into human development resulted in his formulation of an educational approach that took into account the whole human being--thinking, feeling and willing--while acknowledging the spiritual nature of the human being. My husband and I completed the Waldorf teacher training and were transformed. Home life with four children suddenly became sane and supportive, and I was able to become an early childhood teacher--something I had always wanted to do, but didn't think I would be a good fit. In 1982 I taught the first kindergarten at the Rudolf Steiner School of Ann Arbor while Agaf took a first grade class. While he stayed with his class from grades 1-8, I taught kindergarten for a few years and then started an in-home program in 1984. During that time I completed writing "Pregnant Feelings" (with Terra Richardson) and began writing the first edition of "You Are Your Child's First Teacher," which was published by Celestial Arts in 1989.
During the intervening years the book has been revised several times, and I returned to midwifery as co-director of The Birth Center in Dearborn, Michigan. Over the nine years we were in Michigan, my midwifery partner, Valerie El Halta, and I served couples from 43 different countries! Then Agaf and I--our children grown and out of the house--moved to California and I found myself caring for his mother and my mother in our home for six years. During that time I got a Masters in "Gerontology and Organizational Change" from California State University Sacramento, before we returned to Boulder, Colorado, in 2003. During all these years I continued offering "Magical Years" and "Waldorf in the Home" conferences for parents and became a founding board member of LifeWays North America.
Returning to Boulder, the wheel had come almost full circle, as this was where I had started midwifing in 1977. Then I returned to early childhood when my daughter, Faith Baldwin (now Collins) and I opened Rainbow Bridge together in 2007. After three years, my husband took Faith's place after she married and joined me in caring for twelve children from ages 1-5. What a gift to be "Oma" ("Grandma" in German) and "Grandpa Agaf" to these wonderful children and their families and to provide them with the LifeWays family-model of relationship-based, mixed-age care!
So when Celestial Arts asked if I wanted to do a Revised Edition of "First Teacher," I jumped at the chance because there was so much more I wanted to share with you! I'm so glad we're able to continue the journey together.
In the1970s I wrote "Special Delivery" and became a homebirth midwife and childbirth activist, dedicated to protecting natural birth and its transformative power for families and society. At the same time I first discovered Waldorf education in response to the question, "What now? What do we do with these amazing children who are so full of life?" Like most parents, I was clueless, and I knew there had to be someone who could provide a coherent picture.
I remind parents that Rudolf Steiner never had any children; nonetheless, his insights into human development resulted in his formulation of an educational approach that took into account the whole human being--thinking, feeling and willing--while acknowledging the spiritual nature of the human being. My husband and I completed the Waldorf teacher training and were transformed. Home life with four children suddenly became sane and supportive, and I was able to become an early childhood teacher--something I had always wanted to do, but didn't think I would be a good fit. In 1982 I taught the first kindergarten at the Rudolf Steiner School of Ann Arbor while Agaf took a first grade class. While he stayed with his class from grades 1-8, I taught kindergarten for a few years and then started an in-home program in 1984. During that time I completed writing "Pregnant Feelings" (with Terra Richardson) and began writing the first edition of "You Are Your Child's First Teacher," which was published by Celestial Arts in 1989.
During the intervening years the book has been revised several times, and I returned to midwifery as co-director of The Birth Center in Dearborn, Michigan. Over the nine years we were in Michigan, my midwifery partner, Valerie El Halta, and I served couples from 43 different countries! Then Agaf and I--our children grown and out of the house--moved to California and I found myself caring for his mother and my mother in our home for six years. During that time I got a Masters in "Gerontology and Organizational Change" from California State University Sacramento, before we returned to Boulder, Colorado, in 2003. During all these years I continued offering "Magical Years" and "Waldorf in the Home" conferences for parents and became a founding board member of LifeWays North America.
Returning to Boulder, the wheel had come almost full circle, as this was where I had started midwifing in 1977. Then I returned to early childhood when my daughter, Faith Baldwin (now Collins) and I opened Rainbow Bridge together in 2007. After three years, my husband took Faith's place after she married and joined me in caring for twelve children from ages 1-5. What a gift to be "Oma" ("Grandma" in German) and "Grandpa Agaf" to these wonderful children and their families and to provide them with the LifeWays family-model of relationship-based, mixed-age care!
So when Celestial Arts asked if I wanted to do a Revised Edition of "First Teacher," I jumped at the chance because there was so much more I wanted to share with you! I'm so glad we're able to continue the journey together.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 193 reviews
October 14, 2009
I skipped the first chapters, which are about birth and babyhood. There's some interesting stuff here about the importance of play, but also a lot of speculative mumbo jumbo. For instance: "The dreamy state of early childhood is an essential element in the healthy formation of the physical body during the first seven years. The intellect is crystalline and hardening in its effect. When it is engaged prematurely, it can inhibit the proper development of the physical organs and the unfolding of the fluid emotions." In equally nutty passages, the author cautions against reading more than one book to a child per sitting, claiming it's bad for the soul, and recommends telling children on their birthdays that they came down to earth over the "rainbow bridge," because "the young child is still very connected to the spiritual world."
May 23, 2013
I love the premise behind this book, but the execution didn't work for me. There's too much touchy-feely/woo-woo/philosophical weirdness going on. There's quite a bit of talk about religion/spirituality, which isn't my cup of tea, and which I don't think was at all necessary in this book. And some of the author's ideas are just wacky.
She claims you should never read more than one book to a child at a time, even if they want you to, because it's not good for their soul. Yes, you read that right. Apparently reading more than one book will damage your child's soul. Parents everywhere, take note. I can see the psychiatrist's offices overflowing with children whose parents read *gasp!* multiple books to them in one sitting!
She also believes that parents should basically ignore their children during toddlerhood. She says that toddlers need to be free to explore on their own without parents shadowing their every move and talking constantly to them. I definitely think those things can be overdone, but many studies have shown that the number of different words a child hears each day has a direct correlation to how successful they will be in school. And I'll never believe that children with these seemingly indifferent parents are as happy and well-adjusted as those with parents who actually get down on the floor and play with them.
I gave it two stars instead of one because I think the author does a good job of capturing the wonder and magic of early childhood. I've always felt that the first few years of a child's life are such a special time, and the author clearly feels the same way, and that enthusiasm spills over into her writing.
She claims you should never read more than one book to a child at a time, even if they want you to, because it's not good for their soul. Yes, you read that right. Apparently reading more than one book will damage your child's soul. Parents everywhere, take note. I can see the psychiatrist's offices overflowing with children whose parents read *gasp!* multiple books to them in one sitting!
She also believes that parents should basically ignore their children during toddlerhood. She says that toddlers need to be free to explore on their own without parents shadowing their every move and talking constantly to them. I definitely think those things can be overdone, but many studies have shown that the number of different words a child hears each day has a direct correlation to how successful they will be in school. And I'll never believe that children with these seemingly indifferent parents are as happy and well-adjusted as those with parents who actually get down on the floor and play with them.
I gave it two stars instead of one because I think the author does a good job of capturing the wonder and magic of early childhood. I've always felt that the first few years of a child's life are such a special time, and the author clearly feels the same way, and that enthusiasm spills over into her writing.
January 19, 2011
If you hadn't gathered this by the description or other reviews, this is a book based on the Waldorf principles. Turns out there are a lot of elements of the Waldorf approach that I really like. Parts of it seem a bit much, but overall there are many things I agree with like simplifying life, minimal material items, emphasizing pretend play, encouraging music and art, not pushing children to excel beyond their years, giving them time to be children, no TV/computer for little ones, no silly "enrichment" classes for preschoolers. I will definitely be implementing parts of this, and the rest of it was definitely worth consideration. It inspired me to think of aspects of development not touched on in other books (such as a child's spiritual development). I didn't appreciate her random, unrelated to the rest of the book comments against immunization in the last chapter, but perhaps that is because of my own pro-immunization stance. She does have great lists of books for further reading at the end of each chapter, which I plan to utilize. Great book for an introduction to Waldorf parenting/education.
September 29, 2014
While some of the parenting info in this book made a lot of sense (toddlers need a schedule, etc.), some of it was so many deviations off the bell curve it shocked me. Don't read more than one book to your child per day (even if they ask for more), don't teach your child about anything--wait until they ask you about things they see, don't allow your toddlers to take part in playgroups, music appreciation classes, sports and movement classes. So many don'ts! But apparently they recommend telling your child a story about how they were an angel coming over the rainbow bridge when they were born. What?!?
March 21, 2013
The title and description of this book are entirely misleading. I don't know exactly what I expected going into it, but I can tell you what I did not expect. I didn't expect to be reading a 370 page advertisement for Waldorf schools. There was some useful information, tips and tricks, mixed into it all, but for the most part I felt like I was reading a spiritualist's guide to figuring out how to pay for private preschool for your children. At first everything seemed dry and scientific, but then suddenly you're plunged into a theistic story of where babies come from and how they're somehow still connected to the spirit world until they become adults and forget or something asinine like that. I wasn't sure if I was reading a Christian viewpoint or a New Age Neo-Pagan Native American viewpoint half the time, or both. Good thing I borrowed it from the library and didn't waste any money on it.
May 11, 2014
One of the most indispensable child development books on my shelves! Not only did Dancy pack this text full of useful information about development, there are also suggestions for activities and a seemingly endless list of resources for further research or exploration (toy companies, etc.).
Through this book, I was also introduced to Waldorf education, and am now employing many of the concepts in our own home: spending time exploring and appreciating nature, using as many natural-resource toys as possible, honoring a child's independence during play, teaching through imitation rather than instruction, using song and dance especially during transitions, and so many others!
I cannot say enough good things about this book! It even deals simply with discipline in boiling it down to how many discipline issues can be prevented through predictable routine: if a child knows that he takes a bath every night after dinner, there shouldn't be a fight over whether a bath will happen. He just knows to expect it. Advice like this has been wonderful for my family, and I've even recommended the book to a few friends who have gained a lot of tips from it. I won't loan out my copy, though! I refer to my notes in it too often!
Through this book, I was also introduced to Waldorf education, and am now employing many of the concepts in our own home: spending time exploring and appreciating nature, using as many natural-resource toys as possible, honoring a child's independence during play, teaching through imitation rather than instruction, using song and dance especially during transitions, and so many others!
I cannot say enough good things about this book! It even deals simply with discipline in boiling it down to how many discipline issues can be prevented through predictable routine: if a child knows that he takes a bath every night after dinner, there shouldn't be a fight over whether a bath will happen. He just knows to expect it. Advice like this has been wonderful for my family, and I've even recommended the book to a few friends who have gained a lot of tips from it. I won't loan out my copy, though! I refer to my notes in it too often!
January 17, 2013
The Rudolph Steiner philosophy is sublime, serene, magical . . . conducive to a utopian existence - of which we do not exist. I want so much for my toddler to be separated from the social media that our western culture harnesses. But in all reality, it's utterly impossible to detach him exclusively from television or any other media outlet that doesn't promote pure, unadulterated goodness.
You Are Your Child's First Teacher was well written, and I embrace Rahima Baldwin's standpoint with the utmost respect. I learned a great deal from her kind and insightful words. And I will aspire to fulfill as many of her rational, obvious, and completely truthful guidance. Because everything she said makes perfect sense. But again, in this modern age of perseverance and success, I hope that I can wield the most protective and secure foundation that I can for my son. Maybe not a carbon copy of her ideals, but I do believe it can be possible with a strong, loving family.
There is some great advice and tips in this book on instilling strength in spiritually and harmonious aptitude in a toddler. But quite frankly, or at least in my scope of reality, not all of her beliefs seem possible.~AH
June 22, 2013
Whoa, kooky. The first two chapters had some good information, but after the rainbow bridge, I was done.
July 1, 2007
I am in the middle of this book, and am finding that I want to underline, dog-ear, and discuss something on every page! I am new to learning about the different educational theories, and this is the first book from a Waldorf perspective that I've read. There is so much valuable information- some highlights for me have been:
-having 'rhythym' in daily life- not strict scheduling, but a flexible predicatablilty to the days that help give kids structure, and help keep the household running more smoothly.
-common sense wisdom on breastfeeding and sleep arrangements- it spoke to me because there are so many extremes in parenting books when it comes to these topics- this is neither a cry it out nor a 'co-sleep for years even if you don't get any sleep yourself, or you're a horrible parent' type book. It advocates responding to your baby and child and breastfeeding, but finding an arrangement that works for all in the family.
-The part on the different temperaments is facsinating!
-And of course, lots of good info on the developmental stages and imaginative ways to help your chlid blossom, without the use of lots of expensive classes or plastic toys.
-having 'rhythym' in daily life- not strict scheduling, but a flexible predicatablilty to the days that help give kids structure, and help keep the household running more smoothly.
-common sense wisdom on breastfeeding and sleep arrangements- it spoke to me because there are so many extremes in parenting books when it comes to these topics- this is neither a cry it out nor a 'co-sleep for years even if you don't get any sleep yourself, or you're a horrible parent' type book. It advocates responding to your baby and child and breastfeeding, but finding an arrangement that works for all in the family.
-The part on the different temperaments is facsinating!
-And of course, lots of good info on the developmental stages and imaginative ways to help your chlid blossom, without the use of lots of expensive classes or plastic toys.
November 4, 2007
I have been curious about Waldorf education and wanted to get a flavor for it without going directly to the Rudolf Steiner primary writings. I learned that a lot of the philosophy is similar to what I already do, I'm just not as extremist about it. I have two renewed goals after reading this book, (1) instead of purposely doing chores when the children are otherwise occupied, to do them with or at least in front of the kids, so that they can either "help" me or at least learn to respect letting me do my work, and (2) removing some automation from my life. For example, spreading dough, grating cheese, and assembling pizza togeher is much more fun and rewarding than grabbing one from the freezer or (gasp) ordering one.
January 31, 2009
I read this book a long time ago, and it shaped a big part of my parenting....I am rereading it now and still love so much of its wisdom. It's preachy (as are all parenting books) but I continue to pick and choose little nuggets to help with day-to-day life with the children
April 25, 2022
I kept flip flopping between one and two stars. There are parts of this book worth reading, if you can stand to look for them past all the speculation-as-fact and woo woo nonsense. And outright harmful anti-vax bs.
dnf
February 26, 2020DNF at page ~160, about halfway through. It's great parenting advice interspersed with advice that is strange (babies have to wear a soft hat their entire first year to protect the fontanelle), even stranger (you should never read more than one book in a sitting to a child lest you ... destroy their soul?), or bad generalizing from one study done 50 years ago (most learning disabilities are due to not crawling enough as a baby). I only started reading reviews of the book halfway through, but I wish I'd done it earlier since they told me the last chapter has parts that are anti-vaccine. I could have saved myself reading the first half of the book, too.
January 8, 2017
I absolutely loved this book! I have read a few books on parenting, but this one spoke to my heart. As a self-funded, college-educated young woman, it is hard to say to yourself and society, "I want to be at home with my child" or even, "I want to prioritize my child". And do what, waste all of my talents and my education?! As women, we "fought" so hard to have equal rights to the point that we deny our natural maternal urges...and it's nice to hear someone say there is no better role model for your child than Y-O-U.
I love her wisdom, insight, and suggestions for a day at home with a child. I enjoy the fact that she touches on lifestyle a lot and how in our "ready-made" society, we have few chores left to do at home--so we think if we stay at home with our child, it has to be a day centered around entertaining the child. She suggests going about your business and chores and involving your child.
The home environment is very important to a growing child, what is yours like? She touches on family support, and basic development of babies into small children, and the VERY simple things that children really need.
She has FANTASTIC recommendations for all of the stages (up to age 6 or 7 I think), toys, activities, etc. This book was a great reminder that we should trust our maternal urges, and realize you don't have to overwork yourself to fulfill a child's material needs, especially at such a young age. More than another noisy plastic toy, your child needs you!
I will definitely be reading this one over and over and giving it to friends who also have children and like to read.
I love her wisdom, insight, and suggestions for a day at home with a child. I enjoy the fact that she touches on lifestyle a lot and how in our "ready-made" society, we have few chores left to do at home--so we think if we stay at home with our child, it has to be a day centered around entertaining the child. She suggests going about your business and chores and involving your child.
The home environment is very important to a growing child, what is yours like? She touches on family support, and basic development of babies into small children, and the VERY simple things that children really need.
She has FANTASTIC recommendations for all of the stages (up to age 6 or 7 I think), toys, activities, etc. This book was a great reminder that we should trust our maternal urges, and realize you don't have to overwork yourself to fulfill a child's material needs, especially at such a young age. More than another noisy plastic toy, your child needs you!
I will definitely be reading this one over and over and giving it to friends who also have children and like to read.
July 27, 2017
I rated this book four stars based on what I got out of it, which I will mention following. However, there is a lot of other topics, principles, viewpoints, etc of which I do not agree or really think are unimportant. I will not go into that but just disclosing that I tend to overlook the things I could criticize about Many books.
What I did like about this book is her explanations about how toddlers learn - through their bodies, motion and imitationThis is very applicable to me right now and was such a good reminder/eye opener about the way to teach and play with my two year old. As well as giving me insight to why he behaves the way he does. Just what I needed to read at this point in my life.
What I did like about this book is her explanations about how toddlers learn - through their bodies, motion and imitationThis is very applicable to me right now and was such a good reminder/eye opener about the way to teach and play with my two year old. As well as giving me insight to why he behaves the way he does. Just what I needed to read at this point in my life.
June 13, 2008
A great Waldorf inspired classic. This book will reassure you as a stay at home parent that the first three years are crucial, and that you should trust mother's intuition. If you are wondering what you should be doing all day, it is full of gentle suggestions about how to integrate your child into your family's lifestyle, by using everyday chores as teachable moments. It emphasizes reading, nature hikes, and other gentle, healthy ways of parenting.
I get tired of people rushing their 2 years old into academic preschools so that they can get ahead. This book is a nice antidote to that mentality.
I get tired of people rushing their 2 years old into academic preschools so that they can get ahead. This book is a nice antidote to that mentality.
November 18, 2008
This book was recommended by Hank's Waldorf teacher...it is a parenting book based in part on Ruldolph Steiner's philosophies...but it isn't too extreme in its "Waldorf-ness". Rahima Baldwin Dancy happens to live in Boulder and runs a childcare/preschool program here-- but this book is considered one of "the books" for Waldorf parenting, and with good reason; it follows a really developmentally appropriate approach to nurturing the inner life of young children (i.e. does not push extreme early academics, cultivating genius, etc.), the power of play, the power of routines, etc. I think it would make a good base of knowledge for any parent.
May 3, 2010
I liked this book overall. A lot of the information (particularly about infant care) seemed a bit obvious, but there was a lot of interesting ideas as well. This book was largely influenced by the work of Rudolph Steiner, whose writings form the basis for Waldorf Schools. I appreciate the strong emphasis on art and music, as well as a belief in minimizing TV watching and respecting children's natural development. I had some difficulty with some of the more metaphysical beliefs regarding incarnating children, but I am interested enough in the aforementioned positive points to do more reading on Waldorf Schools.
June 9, 2013
Loved some of the ideas in this book, especially rhythms, simple toys, and encouraging creativity. While I prefer the Montessori philosophy to Waldorf, I think everyone can take some great ideas from this book. I read it when my daughter was a newborn, and it really helped me fit her into my daily life as opposed to trying to entertain her all the time. That being said, this book is geared towards stay at home parents, which I am lucky enough to be, but I think it would be hard to use a lot of the advice if I wasn't. The book lost points with me because I feel it has an element of guilt tripping for parents who work and can't have another relative watch their kid.
March 31, 2016
This book was hard to for me to get through, but I took a lot of notes and it really was a wealth of information. I dont't agree entirely with the philosophy or spiritual side of the Waldorf method, but I appreciate the play-based approach to education and the slow growing up process at Steiner emphasizes. I liked be idea of utilizing rhythms into our days, creating peaceful and unhurried environments and offering creative and in maintains play for my boys. I'll definitely be returning to my notes on this book as I create more schedule and rhythm in our home this net year.
July 6, 2015
Full of oddly specious reasoning and spiritual laden language, like playing with wooden toys is spiritually better for children (no reasoning to back up). Receives a second star for being a good intro to Montessori educational principles, some of which I agree with, but only to a certain extent (for example, scientific studies demonstrate that children need lots of unstructured play time but also I think it's established and important that structured teaching time is important as well)
June 29, 2008
Pros: Lots of excellent information about the stages of early childhood & good practical advice on the most effective way to engage them. I liked all the Rudolph Steiner/Waldorf School stuff.
Cons: Presents some dumb crap in an IMHO misguided effort to be 'balanced'.
Overall, an interesting and informative read and the stupid stuff is easily ignored.
Cons: Presents some dumb crap in an IMHO misguided effort to be 'balanced'.
Overall, an interesting and informative read and the stupid stuff is easily ignored.
April 28, 2013
My issue with this book was tone rather than content. I don't like having things explained to me as though I am a child, or as though the writer knows what I already think, particularly when those assumptions are incorrect.
December 27, 2015
There is some wonderful information in this book, interspersed with pseudo-scientific nonsense. No vaccines, rosy blankets, helpful fevers? Ridiculous.
December 31, 2015
She recommends lying to children about the natural world instead of giving age appropriate explanations in order to preserve their sense of wonder.
January 10, 2018
Really interesting and thought provoking, just soooo dry. Took me forever to get through although I did read one chapter twice by mistake...
September 2, 2020
Insight into the Waldorf approach to early childhood education, with a focus on at-home instruction. I appreciated some of the principles, particularly Dancy’s rather feminist emphasis on how skewed and unnatural we have made modern motherhood, and the Waldorf focus on daily and seasonal rhythms in a peaceful home. The two-star review, though, is for the rushed structure, the overreliance on other authors (quotes David Elkind exhaustively, and a lot from Simplicity Parenting, which I loved, and which was a far more helpful book to me personally), and for the anti-vaxx stance (!) and authors endorsed toward the end of the book. There is a lot of kookiness to the Waldorf approach (e.g., fevers from measles can unlock a new spiritual state in your child!) and to Rudolf Steiner’s worldview that really turns me off. Hard pass on that stuff, but I like some of the values espoused here.
September 23, 2023
I loved the author’s common sense approach to guiding young children as they develop. If you can handle unscientific reasoning and mystic spirituality about the divinity of children, I would recommend this book. It’s a gold mine for other resources on parenting, mothering, children and art, children and tech, etc.
I found the argument that homemaking and mothering go hand in hand especially helpful. The premise is that young children need to observe movement and adult activity so that they can imitate, which is how they learn. Therefore, all the activity of homemaking is not something that can be dropped even though we have so many modern conveniences available to us.
I found the argument that homemaking and mothering go hand in hand especially helpful. The premise is that young children need to observe movement and adult activity so that they can imitate, which is how they learn. Therefore, all the activity of homemaking is not something that can be dropped even though we have so many modern conveniences available to us.
March 31, 2025
This is a book based on the Waldorf style of parenting. With that, comes some intense “woo woo” ideas that I don’t agree with (don’t read your kids two books at once because it’s not good for their soul???). But overall, a very respectful and thoughtful child-rearing approach is represented in this book and it gave me a lot of food for thought.
June 25, 2019
I read this book six years ago and it remains one of my favorite fundamental parenting books.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 193 reviews