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But I'm NOT a Wicked Stepmother!: Secrets of Successful Blended Families by Kathi Lipp
Most little girls grow up dreaming of being a mom, but hardly any of them dream of becoming a stepmom. Nevertheless, approximately one million new stepfamilies are created every year.It's no secret, being a stepmother can be a living nightmare. But it can also be an enriching and rewarding experience--one that God can use to strengthen you, helping you survive and even thrive in the toughest job you never asked for.Written by two women who are stepmothers themselves--and know the difficulties of helping to raise someone else's children--this book is filled with down-to-earth insights and advice for stepmothers from stepmothers. It also offers expert guidance from pastors and counselors on such issues as roles, expectations, realistic goals, organization, finances, holidays, vacations, relationships with stepchildren, negotiation, forgiveness, healing the past, building a strong marriage with stepchildren on the scene, dealing with in-laws and ex-spouses, sexual tensions in stepfamilies, health, depression, stress, and much more.While there is no magic formula to guarantee stepmother success, encouragement and practical wisdom are available in this much-needed resource.
Paperback
First published February 19, 2015
55 people are currently reading
99 people want to read
About the author
Kathi Lipp
42 books339 followersKathi loves giving real help and how-tos to move people forward in every area of their lives. With humor and wisdom, Kathi offers hope paired with practical steps to live with meaning.
Kathi Lipp is the Publisher Weekly bestselling author of 17 books including Clutter Free, The Get Yourself Organized Project, The Husband Project, and Overwhelmed.
She is the host of Clutter Free Academy the Podcast, runs the Facebook group Clutter Free Academy where 8000 women (and a few brave men) learn to live free from clutter. Kathi speaks at conferences across the US.
She is featured on Focus on the Family, MOPS International, Crosswalk.com, Girlfriends in God and Proverbs 31 Ministries as well as a number of other media outlets around the country. And she’s a featured expert on clutter for Women’s World Magazine and has been named “Best of Broadcast” on Focus on the Family twice.
Kathi Lipp is the Publisher Weekly bestselling author of 17 books including Clutter Free, The Get Yourself Organized Project, The Husband Project, and Overwhelmed.
She is the host of Clutter Free Academy the Podcast, runs the Facebook group Clutter Free Academy where 8000 women (and a few brave men) learn to live free from clutter. Kathi speaks at conferences across the US.
She is featured on Focus on the Family, MOPS International, Crosswalk.com, Girlfriends in God and Proverbs 31 Ministries as well as a number of other media outlets around the country. And she’s a featured expert on clutter for Women’s World Magazine and has been named “Best of Broadcast” on Focus on the Family twice.
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Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
July 22, 2015
Being a step-mom myself, this book was of great interest to me. I was so excited when I found out I was going to be blessed with the privilege of reading and reviewing it. It is not easy being a step-mother, especially if you gain children who have already begun being raised by the biological mothers, as mine had. Your methods may differ greatly and along with that comes along much bigger issues.
Kathi's book has amazing insight into what being a stepmother consists of, as well as how to handle it as a Christian (if you are one). The importance of God's calling in our lives and how we can use that to help when the situation may seem a little overbearing or out of control.
Her book is chalk full of information, techniques, ideas and so much more for handling minor as well as major problems. Two important lessons I felt stood out to me above the rest were - prayer and communication. Without those two things, failure is on the brink.
Kathi devotes many pages to the importance of prioritizing your marriage, building your husband, respect, and communication as well as problem solving, staying in God's Word, and lowering our expectations of our stepchildren's acceptance of us.
"Step-motherhood can be an instrument God uses to mold us into the image of Christ." "God's design for step-mothers begins with 'one thing' to sit at His feet and receive from Him all He delights in supplying us to live the abundant life".
Being a blended family is a big step for all parties involved! Remembering that and walking with the Lord will greatly increase our chances of not just surviving but thriving in a possibly difficult environment.
I highly recommend this book if you are starting out a new blended family, but it will also be very beneficial if you have been in one for years, or maybe know someone who is. Sadly, Kathi writes in her book, "according the the Step Family Foundation, second marriages only stand a 40% chance of survival, and third marriages less than that". All the help we can get seem important under such a strain.
I was blessed with this book by the author as a part of her launch team in exchange for my honest opinion.
Kathi's book has amazing insight into what being a stepmother consists of, as well as how to handle it as a Christian (if you are one). The importance of God's calling in our lives and how we can use that to help when the situation may seem a little overbearing or out of control.
Her book is chalk full of information, techniques, ideas and so much more for handling minor as well as major problems. Two important lessons I felt stood out to me above the rest were - prayer and communication. Without those two things, failure is on the brink.
Kathi devotes many pages to the importance of prioritizing your marriage, building your husband, respect, and communication as well as problem solving, staying in God's Word, and lowering our expectations of our stepchildren's acceptance of us.
"Step-motherhood can be an instrument God uses to mold us into the image of Christ." "God's design for step-mothers begins with 'one thing' to sit at His feet and receive from Him all He delights in supplying us to live the abundant life".
Being a blended family is a big step for all parties involved! Remembering that and walking with the Lord will greatly increase our chances of not just surviving but thriving in a possibly difficult environment.
I highly recommend this book if you are starting out a new blended family, but it will also be very beneficial if you have been in one for years, or maybe know someone who is. Sadly, Kathi writes in her book, "according the the Step Family Foundation, second marriages only stand a 40% chance of survival, and third marriages less than that". All the help we can get seem important under such a strain.
I was blessed with this book by the author as a part of her launch team in exchange for my honest opinion.
March 3, 2015
***If you're a step parent treated like a "step-monster" this book is for you!***
"Blended," formerly a word more associated with recipes than families, today describes ex-mom and dads with children who remarry with the expectation of “becoming one big happy family.” They often don't understand their new family may be a minefield of disappointments, unmet expectations and jealousy when their unrealistic expectations meet the “reality of step-family” living.
"There's something about these step-situations that makes a sane person act in some not-so-sane ways," writes co-authors Carol Boley and Kathi Lipp in their March 2 release, But I'm NOT a Wicked Stepmother! from Tyndale House Publishers
Kathi Lipp, step-mom, author and podcast host of So Here's the Thing with Kathi Lipp joins with former news reporter, feature writer, and stop-mom, Carol Boley to pen an important, much-needed, “go-to” book that reveals their "secrets of successful blended families." They write with the voice of experience about the challenges of "conflicting parenting styles, threatened ex-spouses, role confusion, power struggles, jealousy, custody battles" and more…Full Review: http://www.examiner.com/list/but-i-m-...
"Blended," formerly a word more associated with recipes than families, today describes ex-mom and dads with children who remarry with the expectation of “becoming one big happy family.” They often don't understand their new family may be a minefield of disappointments, unmet expectations and jealousy when their unrealistic expectations meet the “reality of step-family” living.
"There's something about these step-situations that makes a sane person act in some not-so-sane ways," writes co-authors Carol Boley and Kathi Lipp in their March 2 release, But I'm NOT a Wicked Stepmother! from Tyndale House Publishers
Kathi Lipp, step-mom, author and podcast host of So Here's the Thing with Kathi Lipp joins with former news reporter, feature writer, and stop-mom, Carol Boley to pen an important, much-needed, “go-to” book that reveals their "secrets of successful blended families." They write with the voice of experience about the challenges of "conflicting parenting styles, threatened ex-spouses, role confusion, power struggles, jealousy, custody battles" and more…Full Review: http://www.examiner.com/list/but-i-m-...
May 28, 2015
“Don’t worry that you’re being pathetic when you try not to get caught stealing a kiss from your spouse, or when you pray for a time when the kids are out of the house so you can make out on the couch, or when you consider a trip with your husband to the lawn-care section of Home Depot a hot date.
No. You’re not pathetic. You’re in a blended family….”
Where was But I’m Not a Wicked Stepmother! when I was starting as a stepmother. Living the blended family lifestyle is not easy. It is difficult at best sometimes. And we prepared no one–not ourselves, not our three children, not our hearts.
But Kathi Lipp and Carol Boley have drawn from their own life experiences as stepmoms to write what I would call a manual on being a stepmother to someone else’s children.
Each chapter is filled with honest, down-to-earth helps for anyone, mom or dad, in a stepparent role. Sprinkled throughout with humor, I sometimes found myself laughing at memories of my years of trying to be the good stepmom. The memories weren’t always good ones, but now, through the eyes of Kathi and Carol, I can laugh at what seemed tragic at the time.
The other element they bring to the page is their faith. Scripture verses and prayers are shared to underscore how they approached their individual families’ lifestyles. Even the reader not interested in applying Scripture or faith to their blended family will not be offended by these references.
Kudos to Kathy and Carol on providing a handbook for stepparents!
Recommendation
I highly recommend But I’m Not a Wicked Stepmother! to those thinking of blending two families. Both families may not include children, but someone will become a stepparent if only one of those families has children. Perhaps you know someone in the throes of settling into blended family life. This would be a perfect gift. Church librarian? You should have this on your shelves. And I’m sure you can think of other options. THIS IS A MUST READ!
Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book from Tyndale House Blog Network in exchange for a fair and honest review. Opinions expressed are solely mine.
No. You’re not pathetic. You’re in a blended family….”
Where was But I’m Not a Wicked Stepmother! when I was starting as a stepmother. Living the blended family lifestyle is not easy. It is difficult at best sometimes. And we prepared no one–not ourselves, not our three children, not our hearts.
But Kathi Lipp and Carol Boley have drawn from their own life experiences as stepmoms to write what I would call a manual on being a stepmother to someone else’s children.
Each chapter is filled with honest, down-to-earth helps for anyone, mom or dad, in a stepparent role. Sprinkled throughout with humor, I sometimes found myself laughing at memories of my years of trying to be the good stepmom. The memories weren’t always good ones, but now, through the eyes of Kathi and Carol, I can laugh at what seemed tragic at the time.
The other element they bring to the page is their faith. Scripture verses and prayers are shared to underscore how they approached their individual families’ lifestyles. Even the reader not interested in applying Scripture or faith to their blended family will not be offended by these references.
Kudos to Kathy and Carol on providing a handbook for stepparents!
Recommendation
I highly recommend But I’m Not a Wicked Stepmother! to those thinking of blending two families. Both families may not include children, but someone will become a stepparent if only one of those families has children. Perhaps you know someone in the throes of settling into blended family life. This would be a perfect gift. Church librarian? You should have this on your shelves. And I’m sure you can think of other options. THIS IS A MUST READ!
Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book from Tyndale House Blog Network in exchange for a fair and honest review. Opinions expressed are solely mine.
April 8, 2015
Stepmothers, are not always placed in the limelight nor are they given much credit for many things. Yet There are struggles that are in every blended family. Kathi and Carol both speak of their experiences of being a stepmom. Kathi and Carol are both stepmoms who have been through the trenches. They have both walked the path and have been blessed by their "Bonus" kids.
Being a stepmom/bonus mom myself, this has been a blessing to me because it relates as to where I am in life. It relates how I speak to my husband and my bonus girl. It reminds me as to how God has put me here to love what is not mine but to let the blessings flow from me. It reminds me how forgiveness is supposed to present throughout this entire span. This is a book that I will not give up nor let it be given away. It will be one of my reference books to use in case I need encouragement, direction in how my attitude should be. Yet I want to lend it out to others and hopefully have it returned for many years to come.
***I received this book from Focus on the Family and Tyndale for my honest review and opinion. All are my own.****
Being a stepmom/bonus mom myself, this has been a blessing to me because it relates as to where I am in life. It relates how I speak to my husband and my bonus girl. It reminds me as to how God has put me here to love what is not mine but to let the blessings flow from me. It reminds me how forgiveness is supposed to present throughout this entire span. This is a book that I will not give up nor let it be given away. It will be one of my reference books to use in case I need encouragement, direction in how my attitude should be. Yet I want to lend it out to others and hopefully have it returned for many years to come.
***I received this book from Focus on the Family and Tyndale for my honest review and opinion. All are my own.****
March 5, 2018
Being part of a blended family is hard, when I started dating my husband I won’t lie…I was frightened at the thought of possibly becoming a stepmother. At the time I had very little experience with children and I was overall really overwhelmed. I came across this book and honestly, it really helped open my eyes and ease some of the anxiety I had.
This book was written by two women who are stepmothers and it is loaded with helpful insight and advice for stepmothers from stepmothers. It also offers guidance from pastors and counselors on certain issues you might run into such as expectations, realistic goals, organization, finances, relationships with stepchildren, negotiation, forgiveness, healing the past, building a strong marriage, dealing with in-laws and ex-spouses, depression, stress and more.
I honestly think this is a book EVERY stepmother should read! It really opened my eyes and gave me a bit of reassurance when it came to the relationship I have with my stepdaughter.
This book was written by two women who are stepmothers and it is loaded with helpful insight and advice for stepmothers from stepmothers. It also offers guidance from pastors and counselors on certain issues you might run into such as expectations, realistic goals, organization, finances, relationships with stepchildren, negotiation, forgiveness, healing the past, building a strong marriage, dealing with in-laws and ex-spouses, depression, stress and more.
I honestly think this is a book EVERY stepmother should read! It really opened my eyes and gave me a bit of reassurance when it came to the relationship I have with my stepdaughter.
April 22, 2015
I wish this book had been out 11 years ago when I became a Stepmother! Fabulous book with great insight on how to deal with and handle situations that arise in blended families. This book offers practical and encouraging support for step parents without making you feel like you are doing (or did) everything wrong. I would highly recommend all step parents and their spouses read this book!
I received an ARC of this book courtesy of the publisher and NetGalley for my honest review and opinions.
I received an ARC of this book courtesy of the publisher and NetGalley for my honest review and opinions.
December 11, 2018
Highly recommend! This is THE best book I’ve read on step-parenting! Grab a cup of coffee while you read it and you’ll feel as if you are just sitting around a table with a bunch of girlfriends that have been through the same experiences you have! No judgement and no pity parties. The book is encouraging while it validates your feelings and lets you know you aren’t alone. It also gives you really practical advice topped off with some Jesus mixed in! Step-parenting can be a very lonely journey! I wish I had taken this book with me on it years ago!
May 16, 2015
I wish I had had this book two years ago. It is the best book I've read yet on being a step-mom. Christian values and real life experiences make it work.
I not only learned how to better some experiences from own perspective but I learned how to see through the eyes of my stepson. That alone was worth every penny spent, late night reading and tear shed as I read others stories.
If you are a step-mom struggling or about to become a step-mom, please think about reading this excellent book.
I not only learned how to better some experiences from own perspective but I learned how to see through the eyes of my stepson. That alone was worth every penny spent, late night reading and tear shed as I read others stories.
If you are a step-mom struggling or about to become a step-mom, please think about reading this excellent book.
April 9, 2015
Such a great book. I am not a step-mom, but this book opened my eyes to these brave women. It was a hard book to read as well. I kept putting myself into the lives of these women and it broke my heart to consider the pain many stepmothers and stepfathers live in every day.
Currently reading
August 3, 2018Enjoyed what I read (first 3 chapters or so) and would love to go on. But potty training and first pregnancy took over a lot of my reading time and I just didn't have the time to get back to this. Hopefully a little later--maybe on maternity leave.
March 18, 2015
A MUST read
This book gives a perfect understanding on being a step-parent and gives insight on how to live with and overcome problems that arise
This book gives a perfect understanding on being a step-parent and gives insight on how to live with and overcome problems that arise
April 29, 2016
Wish I had this book when my step daughter was living with us. Still affirming and helpful though. If you know a step parent buy them this book post haste!
September 20, 2018
Great read for stepmoms who want to do the right thing. This book reminded me that it's not all about me. Raising kids is hard, and even harder when you are a step parent. Stay faithful, be kind, and pray often.
April 11, 2020
3.75 rating. I liked this book, and it has great information. It was sometimes tough to remember which family belonged to which of the authors when they were talking. I would recommend this to other stepmoms to help them see they are not alone in their struggles.
August 24, 2023
MUST READ for Christian Stepmoms!
This book has such wisdom, insight, heart and practical advice. I’ve read many step-parenting books and this one tops the list. A must read, 10/10!!
This book has such wisdom, insight, heart and practical advice. I’ve read many step-parenting books and this one tops the list. A must read, 10/10!!
November 9, 2020
This is written from a religious perspective, just something to keep in mind. But I did find this very encouraging!
August 12, 2015
The book is about becoming a stepmom and then knowing nothing about being one. When you are a man with children you expect to live happily ever after, but that is not the reality. In blended families there is jealousy, everything is more complicated, you think if you are nice they will be nice back. That does not always happen. The advice these two authors give is something they would have liked to have known ahead of time. Raising children is difficult, frustrating, and challenging. Know God,s heart, stay focused. God is greater than your problems and he will navigate you through tough times. Praise them when they do well. Tell them you are blessed to be their stepmother. Be quick to forgive, and pray.
February 10, 2017
I got this book, perhaps, a touch too late unfortunately. At the time I got my hands on it, I was a prospective step-mother for a very strong willed little one and the issues of trying to blend a family had already began to sink it's teeth into ripping our plans apart.
I still read through the book and it gave me the encouragement and tools I needed to keep trying my very best in the situation even though it was falling apart.
The good news is that I've been able to pass it along to a friend who is a new step-mother and she reports it has been of the utmost help to her.
I still read through the book and it gave me the encouragement and tools I needed to keep trying my very best in the situation even though it was falling apart.
The good news is that I've been able to pass it along to a friend who is a new step-mother and she reports it has been of the utmost help to her.
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews