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Goodbye Madame Butterfly: Sex, Marriage and the Modern Japanese Woman
Sumie Kawakami is an experienced and intelligent reporter who manages to get her subjects to bare their souls and share their anxieties in a book I found hard to put down. ” —Jeff Kingston, The Japan Times
"Kawakami presents a frank portrait of Japanese women today, via these compulsively readable, expertly crafted essays. Further kudos should go to Yuko Enomoto for her seamless translation.” —Suzanne Kamata, author of Losing Kei
“A tartly written, stereotype-blasting and beautifully made book.” —Roland Kelts, author of Japanamerica
“Refreshingly intense” —Colleen Mondor, Bookslut
"Smart and lively and thoughtful and moving, like a good Studs Terkel without encyclopedic pretensions." —Daniel Handler, aka Lemony Snicket, author of the best-selling A Series of Unfortunate Events
“Full of rich details of contemporary Japan ... in the end readers should understand why Madame Butterfly no longer exists. Or perhaps never existed at all.” —Todd Shimoda author of The Fourth Treasure and 365 Views of Mt. Fuji
"An eye-opening, detailed look at the private, intimate lives of Japanese women ... This is an intelligent and authoritative work, covering everything from adultery to sex volunteers and the role of fortune tellers in Japanese romance. It is at once illuminating and entertaining, credible and so engrossing you will find it difficult to put down." — Robert Whiting, author of Tokyo Underworld, The Meaning of Ichiro and You Gotta Have Wa
Sumie Kawakami’s Goodbye Madame Butterfly is an intimate look at the sex lives of Japanese people from a female perspective. This groundbreaking work of nonfiction will shatter the myth of the pliant, coy Japanese woman and replace her with a complex, erotic, sexually charged and fiercely independent woman who struggles to find her place in a male-dominated society.
"Kawakami presents a frank portrait of Japanese women today, via these compulsively readable, expertly crafted essays. Further kudos should go to Yuko Enomoto for her seamless translation.” —Suzanne Kamata, author of Losing Kei
“A tartly written, stereotype-blasting and beautifully made book.” —Roland Kelts, author of Japanamerica
“Refreshingly intense” —Colleen Mondor, Bookslut
"Smart and lively and thoughtful and moving, like a good Studs Terkel without encyclopedic pretensions." —Daniel Handler, aka Lemony Snicket, author of the best-selling A Series of Unfortunate Events
“Full of rich details of contemporary Japan ... in the end readers should understand why Madame Butterfly no longer exists. Or perhaps never existed at all.” —Todd Shimoda author of The Fourth Treasure and 365 Views of Mt. Fuji
"An eye-opening, detailed look at the private, intimate lives of Japanese women ... This is an intelligent and authoritative work, covering everything from adultery to sex volunteers and the role of fortune tellers in Japanese romance. It is at once illuminating and entertaining, credible and so engrossing you will find it difficult to put down." — Robert Whiting, author of Tokyo Underworld, The Meaning of Ichiro and You Gotta Have Wa
Sumie Kawakami’s Goodbye Madame Butterfly is an intimate look at the sex lives of Japanese people from a female perspective. This groundbreaking work of nonfiction will shatter the myth of the pliant, coy Japanese woman and replace her with a complex, erotic, sexually charged and fiercely independent woman who struggles to find her place in a male-dominated society.
224 pages, Hardcover
First published September 1, 2007
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Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews
January 22, 2011
I originally picked up Goodbye Madame Butterfly at the Chin Music Press sales table at AWP in 2009. At the time, the potential content of the book didn't intrigue me so much as the physical book itself. However, by the second day, they were slashing prices and offered a combo price for it and Kuhaku (the book I was actually interested in). Figuring $25 for two beautifully made books was more or less a steal, I grabbed them both without the slightest inkling of when I'd actually have time to read either of them.
While Kuhaku, which I finally read this summer, is a more general collection of accounts and stories about life in Japan, Sumie Kawakami's Goodbye Madame Butterfly focuses primarily on Japanese women's love lives (in every sense of the phrase). Each of the eleven stories is about women Kawakami met with personally and listened as they opened up about their experiences with sex and marriage. As a result of this direct contact, each of story has a distinct flavor and style; the prose vary from first to third person. While some stories keep the reader more at a distance than others, each story is deeply personal and shows the women's perspectives.
I wouldn't exactly call Goodbye Madame Butterfly a happy read, but certainly enjoyable and interesting one. The writing is light and easy to get through, so I finished it easily in two days at the beginning of the new year. While the stories are wrought in affairs and loveless marriages, I felt compelled to read on with the desire to see these women overcome and find happiness. Kawakami's writing draws the reader in and introduces him or her to real, relatable women. It is important to remember while reading that these women are not just extreme examples of the female condition in Japan. Kawakami has made a clear effort to represent everyone: the young woman, the business woman, the homemaker, the single mother, the emotionally scared woman, the continually optimistic woman, the woman who does everything she can to support her family. One of the interesting aspects about this book, to me, is that each of the women selected are ones that Kawakami personally "likes, respects, and admires."
When glancing through Goodreads, the two main complaints was that the book is full of stories of unhappy women, and that the book seems to have no conclusion. In the preface of the book, Kamikawa notes: "Globally, forty-four percent of all adults claimed to be happy with their sex lives, but only twenty-four percent of the Japanese and twenty-two percent of the Chinese said they were." This, among other reasons given in the preface, accounts for why the majority of the stories seem unhappy. That being said, I, admittedly would have liked to have read one or two more stories that were positive or uplifting such as "Shinto Priest's Wife" and "Long Distance Love" (both of which appear at the end and thus end the book on a relatively positive note), even though I was also awed at the strength of some of the women such as in "Joint Venture."
For those that want some sort of conclusion, all I have to say is: It's not that kind of book. It's not a scientific study, nor is it Kawakami's place, as I believe she knows, to draw conclusions. These women's stories are presented as is, for better or worse, and it's up to the reader to make of them what he or she will. I would encourage readers not to go into this book looking to judge. Each account, while rich in emotion, gives only a glimpse into these women's lives. Appropriately, Kamikawa often bookends the accounts with the woman coming and going from the interview or in the middle of daily activities. It reinforces the fact that these women are living their lives in any way they can, again, for better or worse.
To read Kawakami's preface (an insightful piece of writing that stands well on its own) and one sample story, go to the website for the book. On the site, you will also find under "Book," details about the making the book and photographs of the cover and insides. As I mentioned in the beginning, this was what initially drew me to the book. The hardback book feels sturdy in my hands, and surprisingly light. Gorgeous end pages, and an uniquely styled table of contents make for a graphically interesting design. Chin Music Press' dedication to beautifully, well made books alone make any of their publications worth the money. Even better, CMP always delivers with quality content that reflects the design and quality of the physical book.
Goodbye Madame Butterfly is for anyone interested in the lives of women and/or gender roles in Japan (and globally). With the preface and occasional footnotes, the book gives the reader insight into Japanese societal and cultural norms and expectations. The book was not a life changing experience for me, but certainly unforgettable. Each of the stories touched me in their own way with each woman's suffering, joy, heartbreak, endurance, determination, and dedication.
While Kuhaku, which I finally read this summer, is a more general collection of accounts and stories about life in Japan, Sumie Kawakami's Goodbye Madame Butterfly focuses primarily on Japanese women's love lives (in every sense of the phrase). Each of the eleven stories is about women Kawakami met with personally and listened as they opened up about their experiences with sex and marriage. As a result of this direct contact, each of story has a distinct flavor and style; the prose vary from first to third person. While some stories keep the reader more at a distance than others, each story is deeply personal and shows the women's perspectives.
I wouldn't exactly call Goodbye Madame Butterfly a happy read, but certainly enjoyable and interesting one. The writing is light and easy to get through, so I finished it easily in two days at the beginning of the new year. While the stories are wrought in affairs and loveless marriages, I felt compelled to read on with the desire to see these women overcome and find happiness. Kawakami's writing draws the reader in and introduces him or her to real, relatable women. It is important to remember while reading that these women are not just extreme examples of the female condition in Japan. Kawakami has made a clear effort to represent everyone: the young woman, the business woman, the homemaker, the single mother, the emotionally scared woman, the continually optimistic woman, the woman who does everything she can to support her family. One of the interesting aspects about this book, to me, is that each of the women selected are ones that Kawakami personally "likes, respects, and admires."
When glancing through Goodreads, the two main complaints was that the book is full of stories of unhappy women, and that the book seems to have no conclusion. In the preface of the book, Kamikawa notes: "Globally, forty-four percent of all adults claimed to be happy with their sex lives, but only twenty-four percent of the Japanese and twenty-two percent of the Chinese said they were." This, among other reasons given in the preface, accounts for why the majority of the stories seem unhappy. That being said, I, admittedly would have liked to have read one or two more stories that were positive or uplifting such as "Shinto Priest's Wife" and "Long Distance Love" (both of which appear at the end and thus end the book on a relatively positive note), even though I was also awed at the strength of some of the women such as in "Joint Venture."
For those that want some sort of conclusion, all I have to say is: It's not that kind of book. It's not a scientific study, nor is it Kawakami's place, as I believe she knows, to draw conclusions. These women's stories are presented as is, for better or worse, and it's up to the reader to make of them what he or she will. I would encourage readers not to go into this book looking to judge. Each account, while rich in emotion, gives only a glimpse into these women's lives. Appropriately, Kamikawa often bookends the accounts with the woman coming and going from the interview or in the middle of daily activities. It reinforces the fact that these women are living their lives in any way they can, again, for better or worse.
To read Kawakami's preface (an insightful piece of writing that stands well on its own) and one sample story, go to the website for the book. On the site, you will also find under "Book," details about the making the book and photographs of the cover and insides. As I mentioned in the beginning, this was what initially drew me to the book. The hardback book feels sturdy in my hands, and surprisingly light. Gorgeous end pages, and an uniquely styled table of contents make for a graphically interesting design. Chin Music Press' dedication to beautifully, well made books alone make any of their publications worth the money. Even better, CMP always delivers with quality content that reflects the design and quality of the physical book.
Goodbye Madame Butterfly is for anyone interested in the lives of women and/or gender roles in Japan (and globally). With the preface and occasional footnotes, the book gives the reader insight into Japanese societal and cultural norms and expectations. The book was not a life changing experience for me, but certainly unforgettable. Each of the stories touched me in their own way with each woman's suffering, joy, heartbreak, endurance, determination, and dedication.
March 6, 2022
I appreciated the variety of personal stories in this collection though they did make me very sad about the reality of marriage.
November 17, 2018
Đôi khi mình tự hỏi đời sống của người Nhật Bản đã nhạt nhẽo đến mức cùng cực chưa? Điều này khiến mình không muốn đọc manga và anime nữa. Các mangaka mình yêu quý nên được nghỉ ngơi và sống vui. Mỗi người nên tự tạo ra niềm cảm hứng cho chính mình. Đừng trông chờ vào ai khác.
September 27, 2019
What an interesting insight into the lives of women in japan, felt very real, honest, and most importantly, accurate. I applaud the women described in these stories for telling them, and the author for collecting them. Truly a beautiful piece!
November 23, 2016
Some sad stories, some witty, some just down right shocking. Overall a journalistic approach to literature that allows you to make your own conclusions based on the stories told.
November 2, 2018
An interesting peek into a culture I know little about!
December 21, 2007
I originally stumbled across the elegant products of Chin Press Music when I came across their collection about Japan entitled Kuhaku. I enjoyed that book and marveled at the beauty of the physical book itself. Another great find was the moving stories of Japanese women in “That Floating Feeling” by Sumie Kawakami. Chin Music Press has now brought out another gorgeous full-length book by Kawakami called Goodbye Madame Butterfly: Sex, Marriage, and the Modern Japanese Woman. Kawakami is working against the stereotype that in Japan all of your sexual fantasies can come true. She has found that while Japan is a highly sexualized place, there is a paradox in that there are many people living sexless lives or at least sexless lives with their spouses. There are a number of cultural and individual circumstantial reasons why this so: a strong Madonna/whore complex, the inability of women to support themselves financially, staying together for the children, family obligations, and so on. Kawakami’s preface discusses many of these issues in detail. It has all the hallmarks of her initial essays and a lot more as she includes stories that include unusual subjects like the stigma of counseling vs. traditional fortune telling for advice in romantic matters, “The Winter Sonata phenomena,” the Yasuko Watanabe story (executive by day / prostitute by night), male sex volunteers as well as the clients who use their services, the Shinto priest’s wife along with illicit stories of affairs and joyless, sexless marriages. The first collection of essays was only about women who cheated on their husbands this collection takes on women’s sexuality through the personal stories of a variety of subjects. It is a compelling read that I found difficult to put down, since it puts a lot of what I hear and see into perspective.
January 23, 2011
The stories in this quiet, intriguing little collection are enlightening and enchanting, reaffirming that relationships, love, and sex share common threads across culture. The book design is utterly beautiful, as well.
Ms. Kawakami doesn't really come to a conclusion about her interviewees and their stories, but I think that is part of the beauty of this book- she doesn't need to, nor does she see it her place to summarize the extremely diverse tales being told.
To borrow from Mr. Ali, this book floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee. A stunning look into an oft-overlooked world. Five starts all around.
Ms. Kawakami doesn't really come to a conclusion about her interviewees and their stories, but I think that is part of the beauty of this book- she doesn't need to, nor does she see it her place to summarize the extremely diverse tales being told.
To borrow from Mr. Ali, this book floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee. A stunning look into an oft-overlooked world. Five starts all around.
March 9, 2009
The book itself is quite beautiful in terms of the physical item. The stories inside are offered with little or no cultural context, so reading them straight through is somewhat unnerving, to hear all sorts of stories about the sex(less) lives of several Japanese women... It's good material, and fascinating, but as a read, somewhat disappointing. After I had finished reading it, I thought ... well, now what? It's like someone telling you an awful story that you have nothing to say to afterward.
February 24, 2016
I am sure this book is valuable for the right audience. I am not that audience. while certainly women's stories are important, these have not been placed in a focused context and are simply the journalist retelling the women's stories without further insight. The casual writing style does not help, and the stories seem to ramble and are not well structured. The introduction of the book is also confusing, and it supposedly outlines the purpose of the book, but I remain unconvinced.
March 2, 2011
Straightforward narrative journalism, full of juicy anecdotes that shed a little light on the sexual lives (or lack thereof) of savages... I mean, Japanese. Sex volunteers? I devoured it in evening. Sadly, no analysis to weave together the various very personal stories. Somebody please write an anthropological treatment of sex volunteers. Please.
August 13, 2014
Disappointingly shallow. Each chapter is a brief depiction of a Japanese woman's disappointing love and/or sex life. The author presents a wide range of examples - the most interesting of which was the Sex Volunteer - but there was nothing holding it all together, no conclusions drawn.
July 23, 2014
I am so glad I took the time to read Goodbye Madame Butterfly again. Really a delightful read. Real people, real stories, and real ways to relate.
Well written, enjoyable, and an all around good read.
Well written, enjoyable, and an all around good read.
July 9, 2008
love the book's packaging, layout. well done chin music press!
Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews