BabyCalm: A Guide for Calmer Babies & Happier Parents

by Sarah Ockwell-Smith

Congratulations! You are about to become, or recently became, a new mom. But now what? You may feel overwhelmed by all the advice given to you by friends, family members, online sites, and the slew of contradicting information about calming a crying baby, getting on a feeding schedule, and training your infant to sleep through the night. BabyCalm™ (a company founded in 2007 in England by Sarah Ockwell-Smith and expanding to the United States this year) runs classes that aim to turn stressed-out parents and crying babies into happier parents and calmer babies. In , Ockwell-Smith sets out to provide new mothers with the inspiring ethos and methods of her successful company.

aims to empower new parents to raise their baby with confidence. Focused primarily for new mothers (but with a plethora of sound advice for fathers as well), Ockwell-Smith provides a wealth of information—starting with trusting your maternal instincts above all else—on calming your crying baby, implementing sleep training techniques, facilitating a feeding schedule, bonding with your new infant, understanding your baby’s essential needs, and much more. Including parenting tips from around the world as well as ways in which to create confident children, is the only book you’ll need to set you on the solid path of good (and stress-free) parenting during your baby’s first year.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Childrens

272 pages, Paperback

Published October 4, 2012

About the author

Born in Bedfordshire, England in 1976, Sarah Ockwell-Smith is a mother of four school aged children, three boys and one girl.

After graduating with an honors degree in Psychology, specialising in child development, she embarked on a five year career in Pharmaceutical Research and Development, working with clinical trial data, until she became pregnant with her first child in 2001. After the birth of her firstborn Sarah retrained as an Antenatal Teacher, hypnotherapist/Psychotherapist, Infant Massage Instructor and Birth and Postnatal Doula. Over the years Sarah has updated her knowledge with various study days and courses including paediatric first aid, paediatric safeguarding, perinatal psychology and birth trauma.

Sarah now works as a parenting author, writer and coach. With a particular interest in child sleep.

Reviews

[Sarah Field · Rating 5 out of 5]

a brilliant parenting book which all new parents should read! informative, evidenced based advice which supports your intuition rather than prescribing a parenting style

[Kat · Rating 2 out of 5]

As a trauma therapist, I’ve listened to just as many moms shame and beat themselves up for not doing “attachment parenting” as any other method. They think every time they have to let their baby cry so they can pee, they’re traumatizing them. Ockwell is all about listening to your instincts—but if your instincts are to sleep train your kid because you’re so depressed from lack of sleep you’re barely functioning, you are ruining their brains for life (the evidence is really clear on this - you are not). She disparages reliance on peer-reviewed evidence at the beginning and then cherry picks from it for the duration of the book. Similarly, the behaviorism of sleep training is “torture” but the behaviorism she uses for bedtime rituals is great. As an expectant parent and clinician, I much prefer the books that take a more balanced approach (here’s what this side says, here’s what that side says, here’s what research says, use that to make your decisions). I am just as wary of the dogma here as I am of other books that say you MUST use cry it out, etc. Anything useful in this book I’ve already read elsewhere. I totally agree with trusting instincts and if this book helps some moms to feel less shame and more agency, great. But if it’s doing the opposite, put this book down and look elsewhere.

[Irina Gorokhova · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really warm, kind and inspiring for all first-time mothers. The book doesn't´t give you a manual or practical guide on how to nurse a newborn baby but tells you in an open way how you should learn to listen to your baby´s signals and trust your mother instincts. You are the best mother for your baby and you know exactly what your baby needs!

It was really inspiring to read it the time when I was holding my new born baby-girl in my arms and thought that I had no idea how to take care of this amazing creature!.

Loved it

[Jimbo · Rating 3 out of 5]

Spends a lot of words arguing against commonly given advice (that I've never heard given), and a lot of the remaining words telling you to trust your instincts (which I guess is fine if you have good ones that have been suppressed). But I felt like the book was trying desperately to liberate me from an oppression that's never happened, and doesn't have a lot to say beyond that.

Definitely read it if someone is telling you to be mean to your child and you need to hear the other side of the argument.

[Emma Codd · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a must-read for every new mother who prefers a gentle, instinctual, attachment style of parenting. I wish I’d read it before my baby was born, but with a 5 month old, it still resonated. This book put my mind and heart at ease about responding to my baby in a way that feels natural. Highly recommend.

[Allison · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wonderfully reassuring. Nice to read something that you don't always agree with that anticipates and encourages that--a lovely parenting guide that embraces taking what fits you and leaving what doesn't.

[Marie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Best mothering book for a baby ever!!

[Katieloowho · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book. Compassionate, mother centered, nonjudgemental and informative.

[Lauren Gray · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such an important book as a new or even second time mother. Always reassures me!

[Samantha Levang · Rating 5 out of 5]

I began this book knowing that it was very geared toward attachment/gentle parenting, which I was eager to learn more about. I thought it was misleading, then, in a funny way, that the bulletin points on the back of the book seem to advertise how to get your baby on a sleeping and feeding schedule. Maybe that's the author's way of luring in unsuspecting, desperate parents and infiltrating their mainstream, western thinking about infant behavior. They'll soon find that any "expert" advice with the words schedule or structure can almost entirely be thrown out the window when it comes to babies.

What I love about this author, aside from all the great British-isms in her writing, is that her work is both well cited and doesn't shy away from explaining the science behind infant behavior to the everyday parent. She does a wonderful job of breaking down complex research findings so her readers can easily understand them.

This book has given me a better understanding of infant development and provided me with many useful, empathetic, and time-tested tools to employ during those desperate times as a mom. BabyCalm has definitely earned a place on my shelf and will be a great reference for years to come.

[Louise · Rating 4 out of 5]

An antidote to Gina Ford, the Baby Whisperer and their ilk. It is probably best read before the little one's arrival. Very much of the attachment parenting genre.
Negatives: seems rather short at about 200 well spaced out pages.
A lot of the info is available online as well. E.g. The sleep section.
Rather too many plugs for BabyCalm (TM) classes for my liking.

All in all good for reassurance that following your instincts is the right thing to do.

[Zan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I didn't agree with everything in this book (I am reading a range of things and picking the parts I like the idea of!) but it had some really interesting insights into the loss of maternal instinct in today's society and how a baby-led approach to parenting can be highly beneficial to the psyche of your child in the long run.

[Shy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book to boost a new mother's self confidence in her own instincts!

[Ashlee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Glad I bought it!

This book encouraged me to keep trusting my maternal instincts and it has helped me develop my own personal parenting philosophy. Thank you, Sarah Ockwell-Smith

[Lexi · Rating 3 out of 5]

Reassuring in tone, lots of encouraging words, but some of it a bit OTT for me.