Goodbye Without Leaving

by Laurie Colwin

“Poignant and hilarious . . . . Irresistible.” — Washington Post

An insightful domestic comedy, at once hilarious and extremely moving, Goodbye Without Leaving by acclaimed author Laurie Colwin, is the story of one woman's attempt to remain true to herself in a world of diminishing returns.


As a bored graduate student, Geraldine Colshares is plucked from her too-tame existence when she is invited to tour as the only white backup singer for Vernon and Ruby Shakely and the Shakettes. The years she spends as a Shakette are a mixed blessing, however, for while they provide her with purpose and excitement, she ultimately submits to a conventional life of marriage, children, and bittersweet memories of what comes to seem a glorious past. With her usual dry wit and candor, Laurie Colwin follows Geraldine as she tries to reconcile her past with her future, to be an adult and still boogie in her soul.

Genres: Fiction, Contemporary, Novels, Literary Fiction, Audiobook, Humor, Adult Fiction

256 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1990

About the author

Laurie Colwin is the author of five novels: Happy All the Time, Family Happiness, Goodbye Without Leaving, Shine On, Bright and Dangerous Object, and A Big Storm Knocked It Over; three collections of short stories: Passion and Affect, Another Marvelous Thing, and The Lone Pilgrim; and two collections of essays: Home Cooking and More Home Cooking. She died in 1992.

Reviews

[emma · Rating 2.5 out of 5]

like a reverse irish exit?

anyway.

the important thing to know about this is it's a bad book written by a good writer. the characters: flimsy. their relationships: inexplicable. the plot: filled with years-long gaps to the point of being incomprehensible.

but the writing itself? the dialogue? the little jokes? excellent.

the other thing to know is that it is very weird. it's a white woman who was once a backup singer in a Black group and can't get over it. that's not much to carry us through 250 pages and it never feels any more normal.

maybe it was a different time.

bottom line: sometimes books are forgotten for a reason.

2.5

[Julie G · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was Laurie Colwin's penultimate novel, and the last one she saw published before she died, unexpectedly, of an aneurysm, at the age of 48.

It's an unusual book, with a title that has nothing to do with the story, and a boring cover, to boot. I can also accuse it of meandering. Meaning: it lacks a central focus. But, although Ms. Colwin meanders in her storytelling, she manages to do what two other favorite writers of mine, Ray Bradbury and Boris Pasternak, do when they meander: stumble upon greatness.

This novel has a clumsy beginning, and a clumsy protagonist, Geraldine Coleshares, a grad student who is suffering from a “failure to launch” (or so her parents say).

Geraldine doesn't really want to do anything but sing and dance, and, it turns out, she's good at it. She manages to land a gig as the only white backup singer and dancer to a famous Black duo (think: Ike and Tina Turner).

Gerry's life, from that point on, is one of spontaneity and non-traditional roles. She knows how to “wail and boogie,” but family, friends and romantic partners want something different from her. Her struggle, throughout the 1970s, is a common one: what should she do, and what does she need to give up?

Her life goes from interesting to fascinating when she takes up with a foundation that is comprised of Holocaust survivors and she faces her own cultural identity as an “assimilated Jew.”

It's a quirky story, and I can imagine that some readers could find it too random, or a bit clumsy in parts but, to be honest, I cried on my front porch yesterday, as I closed the back cover.

I feel like Ms. Colwin sat down and started writing this, and she didn't stop until a dynamic story formed. Isn't that how some of our best stories are shared?

Sometimes we get so swept up in dotting our “i's” and crossing our “t's,” we lose the juicy bits.

There's a scene in this novel that I might think about for the rest of my life, when the now-married Geraldine meets a man that she senses she must know intimately:

When we connected, I felt a deep, inward shiver. This was not like having sex for having fun or having children. It did not seem to be about falling in love, or even about having a sexual encounter, but about some ancient, primitive longing desperate to be fulfilled. [He] was more like a destination than a person. Being near him gave me access to something I needed to know.

Frankly, I found this a riveting concept. We have placed so many legal and religious ideals on the institution of marriage for several centuries now, and, though I understand some of them (and have benefitted from several of them myself), I also wonder if we haven't also been shortsighted in the way we assume marriage should be. Do we stagnate? Do we limit ourselves too much?

Ms. Colwin never seemed to shy away from complicated subjects like these, and her writing works a little magic on you, too.

Oh, my heart! I want to read everything she wrote, but I never want the list to end.

[Matty S. · Rating 2 out of 5]

Goodbye Without Leaving? More like Goodbye Without Thinking. The first half flirts with promise, but then the heroine drops her dreams like hot potatoes and embraces diapers as destiny. In 1990 that might have passed as realism; today it feels reductive, even regressive—like watching a would-be outlaw trade her leather jacket for a burp cloth. Two stars, for the opening tease that never delivers.

[Suzy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you, Laurie Colwin for getting me out of my reading rut and to my husband for suggesting her. I see a pattern in Colwin's female characters; there's always a prickly woman who's not comfortable in her own skin, and here she is front and center. Geraldine Colshares wends her way through life, first as a graduate student who abandons her studies to become the only white back-up singer in a black act (think Ike and Tina Turner Revue before Tina made it big). She then meanders from one interesting (to me) thing to another, questioning everything, trying to figure out who she is and fighting with the same. What kept me engaged was curiosity about where life would take her next and how this would affect her and all those in her sphere. Colwin is the rare author who can make me cry, laugh and think all in the same passage, as in the last few pages of this book. How can I not give five stars to a book that I just had to hug when I finished? I bought this book in 1991 right after it was first released in paperback. How did it sit unread all these years?!!

I love how this NY Times review from May, 1990, starts off: "Laurie Colwin's writing has a bright, metallic sound, with minimal hissing and static." A lovely description of her writing.

Why I'm reading this: I've mentioned in other posts that I'm abandoning books, right and left! Nothing is holding my attention. When I told my husband about this, he said "You need to read a Laurie Colwin."! I agreed wholeheartedly, and since this was on my bookshelf, it was easy to pick up. Let's hope it does the trick.

[Diane Barnes · Rating 3 out of 5]

An entertaining, amusing novel with some very funny lines, but it meandered around without ever really going anywhere. A nice interim read between other books, but not something I'll remember for long.

[Penelope · Rating 2 out of 5]

Really hated the main character and all of her whining, ungratefulness, unfaithful, selfish bitching. I have an extreme hard time with people who choose not to be happy. Life's too short ... CHEER THE HELL UP.

[Ellen Puccinelli · Rating 5 out of 5]

Perhaps my favorite book of all time. I can't say enough about this wonderful writer who died far too soon. Laurie had the ability to make you think that everything was going to be ok and that everything in this world was more good than bad. Her descriptions are absolutely amazing. Every word she uses is dead perfect. In Laurie's world, people are eccentric rather than dysfunctional -- nice perspective. This novel, her posthumously-published A Big Storm Knocked It Over, and her collections of food writing are her finest work, I believe. LOVE Laurie Colwin -- a truly delightful writer.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

“I followed my boy, whose coppery hair flopped into his eyes. I thought of what he would be, what I had been, of the old man he would turn into whom I would never know. The journey seemed impossibly strange, amazingly long, and over in a flash.”

One of the things that I absolutely adore about Laurie Colwin’s writing is how she gets right to the heart of the human experience. In this novel, we follow Geraldine from her time as a back up singer on tour with Vernon and Ruby Shakely and the Shakettes to her difficult transition to wife and mother. All along, Geraldine questions herself, who she is, her history, and where she belongs. On this reading, my heart aches for her. I wanted to give her a hug and tell her to settle in. That her life is all the parts of her, good and bad, her history, her present, and even her future.

Colwin’s novels often sneak up on me with their insightfulness. Her humor, her self-deprecation, and her ability to get inside the minds of her characters is unparalleled. Some of her writing is dated and of it’s time but I think everything she’s written still has much to say to readers in our present day. She is a treasure and an author I will never tire of reading.

[Karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book, like so much good fiction, is narrowly focused--New York, middle class, Jewish families, set loosely (I think) in the 70's. The main character was a white back up dancer for an black band. Once she leaves that life, she can't or won't define herself going forward. Since she can't settle she interacts with all kinds of people, her reactions saying more about her than them.

The book explores what it means to grow up, have an identity, have a shared history, and the sniping of women defending their positions on decisions about children and work. The emotional line of the story doesn't seem dated, but it also provides a window into a very specific time and place.

I picked up this book based on a radio retrospective of Laurie Colwin's work. She died too young and it seems that her books have been a bit lost in the intervening years. I assumed that it was, at least partly, because she was a woman. I'm pleased to say that my presumption of sexism was correct.

I have a feeling this is not her best novel. There were bits and pieces that seemed a bit too loose, like they needed a critical editor to draw them in. And some parts are a bit sappy. It's kind of light. But this is a good novel. And I'm glad I read it.

[Lauren · Rating 5 out of 5]

My mom always asks me for book club suggestions and what she wants is a happy book. Happy books are few and far between. Sometimes I think novelists concoct crazy situations to torture characters for the sake of a plot. Laurie Colwin knows how to write a book that makes you think, smile, laugh, lose yourself, and fall hard for her characters. I had always loved her food writing and feared her novels, worrying somehow that they would live up to the love I have for her essays on cooking and food. Oh dear. Why do I do this? I want to live in this book a bit longer, but instead, I need to dig up the rest of Laurie Colwin's novels and mail this one to my mom. Finally, I have a happy book to pass her way.

[Cynthia Dunn · Rating 2 out of 5]

If this had been the first Laurie Colwin book I read, it would have been the last. Fortunately, it was the very last of her books that I had finally gotten to. There's no comparison to her other books.

[Cookie M. · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had not read Laurie Domain while she was alive. I received this book from the publisher, not exactly as an ARC, but as a reissue, having no idea what it was about. I was pleased to find many parallels between the main character Geraldine and myself. I really identified with her, although she was a rock and roll singer and I was a classical vocalist. We both gave it up, married wonderful men, had babies, and wondered what to do with the rest of our lives. Although Geraldine didn't realize it she had adventures without venturing far from home.

This was a wonderful, lighthearted read that had me thinking about how great an ordinary life can be.

[Kate · Rating 4 out of 5]

I LOVED A Big Storm Knocked It Over and Happy All the Time, so I thought I would love this. But I didn't feel as excited about this one. Colwin's books aren't really plot oriented, but while I enjoyed languishing in the environment created in the other two books, this one felt really slow. I was kind of jealous of the main character for having such a charmed life, but she was always unhappy and I was ever so slightly annoyed by that. I appreciated the sense of feeling lost, and enjoyed the Colwin-esque observations about motherhood and domesticity very much as always— but ultimately I didn't love this book as much as Colwin's earlier work. I learned that she died before the book was finished, so maybe if she had lived to continue editing it would have been as great as the other two books I loved.

[jocelyn • coolgalreading · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 rounded down - still marinating

definitely want to read others by her as I loved the writing

[David · Rating 3 out of 5]

Geraldine doesn't know what she wants to be when she grows up. She chucks her dissertation to go tour as the only white backup singer for Vernon and Ruby Shakely and the Shakettes. Settling down as a wife and mother seems kind of tame after her years as a Shakette.

This book is a first-person account of Geraldine's story. How much you like it will depend on how you react to Geraldine's voice. It worked for me - though the navel-gazing is extensive, there's enough humor to make it tolerable.

There was nothing profound in this relatively short novel, but it was sufficiently engaging to make me want to read more of Colwin's work.

[Bill Silva · Rating 3 out of 5]

Another Goodreads reader described this novel as “meandering,” and that’s a pretty good description…the storyline meanders, the main character meanders, and the author meanders in ever settling on a coherent, consistent theme and purpose. There’s some less-than-sparkling wit and humor here (supposedly Colwin’s strong point, but this isn’t a great example of it)…but it’s often kind of mean, and it often falls flat. The best thing about the novel is its depiction of the complexities (and variety) of the relationships between parents and children…here Colwin has something interesting to say. The rest of it is mostly a muddle.

[Bertha Rachinski · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this-- sweet, sad and hopeful- about trying to understand where you find yourself.

[Kathleen · Rating 1 out of 5]

I hated this book, but mostly the main character. If you want to read about a self-pitying, maladjusted adult who does nothing but complain about her perfect life, this is your book.

[St Fu · Rating 4 out of 5]

About a woman, Geraldine, trying to find out where she belongs. (M)others try and tell her but she rejects what they say. Sometimes her very rejection looks like a place to belong. While we enjoy searching with her, rooting for her to succeed, we understand that her search is misguided.

Her friend Mary appears to know where she herself belongs (and eventually goes there). Her husband finds that Geraldine is where he belongs--paradoxical since Geraldine thinks she's nowhere at all. She understands that her son will need a heritage or share her fate and attempts to learn one for him while we and the others just shrug our shoulders at this.

Her best bet, those closest to her often tell her, is to accept her role of rock singer. She is (sort of) convinced that to do so would at best be to co-opt Black music, and yet, maybe this dishonorable role (though her Black colleagues are only encouraging) is what she needs to embrace.

The reader himself should not have to feel lost in the end, even if the main character doesn't succeed in finding herself. Or should he? Is that need for closure nothing but a lie that other novels pander to their readers to supply?

[Jess · Rating 4 out of 5]

Seems like it would stray from Colwin's well-worn territory, but I was happy to find another entertaining heroine. Thoughtful dialogue, smart characters, dreamy New York setting. Set in the 70s I think? But written in the 80s. Hard to get a sense of the timing and state of civil rights, specifically, but the theme of racial identity through music is timeless.

[Mary · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ho conosciuto la Colwin tramite il suo libro “Home cooking. Una scrittrice in cucina”. Un libro carinissimo che mi ha portata a voler conoscere i suoi romanzi. Ed eccomi qui, ad aver terminato “Come si dice addio”. Libro che mi conferma quanto bene scriveva l’autrice. La sua è una scrittura che a me piace molto: ironica, scorrevole, piacevole. E le sue storie mi piacciono altrettanto perché mi sembra di venire proiettata all’interno di una commedia americana a tutti gli effetti. In questo caso siamo alle prese con Geraldine, corista in una band afroamericana che una volta concluso il tour non sa cosa fare della propria vita e si lascia trasportare dagli eventi, sperando di trovare la sua essenza, il suo vero io. Ci riuscirà? Ebbene, resta a voi scoprirlo!

3 ⭐️ perché nonostante la storia sia ben scritta, nonostante sia un libro piacevole, non sono riuscita a immedesimarmi con la protagonista che a tratti ho trovato petulante e mi aspettavo un po’ più di brio almeno a fine libro.

[Daphne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another great Laurie Colwin... I enjoyed Family Happiness more, but I still liked this one. I am appreciating how she conveys the complexity of human emotions and states of being without getting preachy. Two books with affairs and neither person gets "caught" and the marriages stay together and everyone is complex and interesting and working from a standpoint of an individual human being, not a "wife, who should know better" or "the other man, who should be a cad" or the "cuckolded husband, who should either be a saint or at fault somehow." No, instead, these affairs are presented as complex relationships, relationships within their own right, that don't necessarily reflect upon the state or suitability of the marriage. I heartily applaud this original presentation of literary affairs. And, complex women characters with more than two thoughts in their heads. Bravo!

[Emily Carlin · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5, perhaps. identical preoccupations to colwin’s “a big storm knocked it over” … feeling like an alien but eventually finding a workable relationship, having a child even though you don’t feel ready, new england-y summer towns, culture-adjacent jobs in nyc, female friendship, affairs. this one was slightly less “heavenly warm bath” and sorta showed its age at various points. nonetheless i remain a proud Colwin Head and will immediately order another 🫡

unrelated to content: i have been ordering books exclusively from thrift books lately and this was the first dud…gorgeous 80s-ish cover but pages smelled strongly (distractingly) of mold/mildew.

[Fleur · Rating 3 out of 5]

One of the most uneventful books I’ve read. It’s kind of niche in the way it just describes this utterly normal (aside from her minute of almost-fame) and not particularly interesting woman going through very normal and not particularly interesting things, struggling to come out the other side. I don’t think Colwin’s novels are meant to be read for their plot, but rather for the vibes. Aren’t “cosy reads” gaining popularity though? I’d recommend “Happy all the time” of this one though. EXCEPT if you have a thing for old R&B. Sadly I didn’t get ANY of the references, but I spent a good amount of time looking all of them up on YouTube and Spotify just to get a feeling for it. Aside from the music, this quest for a sense of identity is full of snarky comments, lukewarm reflections and melancholy. And it kind of works, but also not really?

[Desi A · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh, how I loved this book. It was impossible to know that ... a decade .... after being recommended it by a friend that I would finally get it and that *right now* was the perfect time for me to read it.

[bookexteriors · Rating 3 out of 5]

Still good but the other ones I read by Colwin are just better. 3.5

[Miranda Cecil · Rating 4 out of 5]

Laurie Colwin is always a hit for me and I found this to be a really great reflection of who we are and how we become ourselves

[Sadhbh · Rating 2 out of 5]

hmm

[Thor Balanon · Rating 3 out of 5]

A matter of taste, not my kind of weird, because the writing is still tops; energetic and funny and impatient. The Leo character though; I liked those moments a lot.

[L]

Hmmm, this was enjoyable and charming, but was that the whole point?

And I liked the main character but also found her annoying.

It is a coming of age novel so I should have loved it because I love those, but I’m kind of “meh” on the whole book.