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Family Happiness
Polly is a happy wife and mother from a remarkable strong and attractive family—until one day she finds herself entangled in a completely unexpected, sweet, yet painful, love affair with a painter named Lincoln Bennett. All of Polly's beliefs about herself explode, uprooting what had seemed to be a settled—and everlasting—idea of family happiness.
271 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1982
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7589 people want to read
About the author
Laurie Colwin
31 books557 followersLaurie Colwin is the author of five novels: Happy All the Time, Family Happiness, Goodbye Without Leaving, Shine On, Bright and Dangerous Object, and A Big Storm Knocked It Over; three collections of short stories: Passion and Affect, Another Marvelous Thing, and The Lone Pilgrim; and two collections of essays: Home Cooking and More Home Cooking. She died in 1992.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 385 reviews
April 3, 2023
I am rarely at a loss for words, but this novel has rendered me so.
I started this review, then stopped it. Deleted everything I wrote. Started it again, stopped it, then walked three miles and thought of three different ways I wanted to approach it, then came home, reread the last couple of pages of the novel and stared at the wall.
Sometimes a book is so meaningful to me, I find it difficult to encapsulate my experience of it.
Also, if I'm being honest, I'm feeling protective of this story. I want others to know how excellent it is, but I also know that it is a story that could be so easily misunderstood.
I find that white, affluent women in literature aren't always received well. Examples that spring to my mind without barely thinking about it: Gustave Flaubert's Emma Bovary, Kate Chopin's Edna Pontellier, and Larry McMurtry's Patsy Carpenter.
I think, sometimes, that these characters are too often marginalized and dismissed, as though being white and affluent is some sort of lifelong shield that is meant to protect these women from toxic parents, abusive spouses, public scrutiny, fears and grief.
Well, remember the saying: “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.”
Yes, Polly Solo-Miller Demarest (our heroine here) is white and affluent. She also has a gorgeous, successful husband, two beautiful, healthy children, an excellent job, a high-rise apartment (with a doorman and an elevator man), and a summer house in Maine.
She's the kind of friend you'd have on Facebook who would probably make your stomach turn, from time to time, so much so, you might end up unfriending her.
That is. . . if she had any friends, on Facebook (or anywhere else), but Polly doesn't have friends; she has family. A wealthy, demanding, toxic family.
Polly has made every one of her life's decisions based on this family's requirements: where she went to school, what she chose as a career, whom she married, when she had children, and how she spends her time.
She felt a stranger to her own life, an outsider to the things she had created, and an outcast from her own heart.
And, then, one day, Polly decides to do something very different, and a little naughty. . . . and, it turns out, Her real nature, without restraint, would get her into terrible trouble.
I don't know how well this novel would resonate with male readers, and I'm also unsure of its reception among young adults, especially ones who have lived non-traditional lives, but this story, that explores traditional roles, parental expectations, marriage, religion, identity, and love, struck a strong chord in me.
We can all suffer, and we can all thrive, regardless of our circumstances, and, as far as I'm concerned, any story written as well as this one deserves to be told.
I started this review, then stopped it. Deleted everything I wrote. Started it again, stopped it, then walked three miles and thought of three different ways I wanted to approach it, then came home, reread the last couple of pages of the novel and stared at the wall.
Sometimes a book is so meaningful to me, I find it difficult to encapsulate my experience of it.
Also, if I'm being honest, I'm feeling protective of this story. I want others to know how excellent it is, but I also know that it is a story that could be so easily misunderstood.
I find that white, affluent women in literature aren't always received well. Examples that spring to my mind without barely thinking about it: Gustave Flaubert's Emma Bovary, Kate Chopin's Edna Pontellier, and Larry McMurtry's Patsy Carpenter.
I think, sometimes, that these characters are too often marginalized and dismissed, as though being white and affluent is some sort of lifelong shield that is meant to protect these women from toxic parents, abusive spouses, public scrutiny, fears and grief.
Well, remember the saying: “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.”
Yes, Polly Solo-Miller Demarest (our heroine here) is white and affluent. She also has a gorgeous, successful husband, two beautiful, healthy children, an excellent job, a high-rise apartment (with a doorman and an elevator man), and a summer house in Maine.
She's the kind of friend you'd have on Facebook who would probably make your stomach turn, from time to time, so much so, you might end up unfriending her.
That is. . . if she had any friends, on Facebook (or anywhere else), but Polly doesn't have friends; she has family. A wealthy, demanding, toxic family.
Polly has made every one of her life's decisions based on this family's requirements: where she went to school, what she chose as a career, whom she married, when she had children, and how she spends her time.
She felt a stranger to her own life, an outsider to the things she had created, and an outcast from her own heart.
And, then, one day, Polly decides to do something very different, and a little naughty. . . . and, it turns out, Her real nature, without restraint, would get her into terrible trouble.
I don't know how well this novel would resonate with male readers, and I'm also unsure of its reception among young adults, especially ones who have lived non-traditional lives, but this story, that explores traditional roles, parental expectations, marriage, religion, identity, and love, struck a strong chord in me.
We can all suffer, and we can all thrive, regardless of our circumstances, and, as far as I'm concerned, any story written as well as this one deserves to be told.
November 14, 2025
laurie colwin books are all about family happiness. and i love them all!
only she could write a book whose entire plot, such as there is one, is about a woman making herself miserable and overwhelmed and trying to decide what to do about it only to end the book abruptly and without any sort of decision, and have me come away charmed.
this book was often very frustrating and repetitive, but you wouldn't know it by how much i enjoyed reading it. colwin's dialogue, the way she writes families, the eccentricities of her characters...i can't get enough!
ever since happy all the time, i keep picking up her books about things i don't want to read about — gelatin-based dinner parties, women who mourn their days of being r&b backup singers, mothers sabotaging their lives — and i still enjoy them.
bottom line: i wonder if there's anything she could write that i wouldn't.
3.5
only she could write a book whose entire plot, such as there is one, is about a woman making herself miserable and overwhelmed and trying to decide what to do about it only to end the book abruptly and without any sort of decision, and have me come away charmed.
this book was often very frustrating and repetitive, but you wouldn't know it by how much i enjoyed reading it. colwin's dialogue, the way she writes families, the eccentricities of her characters...i can't get enough!
ever since happy all the time, i keep picking up her books about things i don't want to read about — gelatin-based dinner parties, women who mourn their days of being r&b backup singers, mothers sabotaging their lives — and i still enjoy them.
bottom line: i wonder if there's anything she could write that i wouldn't.
3.5
August 12, 2024
This book will definitely not appeal to everyone.
It's very...of its time among other things. But I really enjoyed it once I got used to the writing style. It's a heartfelt look at marriage, personal expectations, the expectations of others...and our own assumptions and push/push in regard to all of those things.
That said, I don't think I could say it any better than my friend Julie G., so I will just be lazy and point to her outstanding her review instead. Enjoy.
It's very...of its time among other things. But I really enjoyed it once I got used to the writing style. It's a heartfelt look at marriage, personal expectations, the expectations of others...and our own assumptions and push/push in regard to all of those things.
That said, I don't think I could say it any better than my friend Julie G., so I will just be lazy and point to her outstanding her review instead. Enjoy.
August 6, 2025
I know already I won't be able to do do this book justice in my little review. But let me say that every sentence of Laurie Colwin's Family Happiness is joyfully ironic (bringing countless smiles and chuckles to this reader), deeply empathetic to her very human characters, and so relatable to most anyone who is part of a family, no matter how yours looks or what role you play in it.
Polly is part of a very close knit family. A family that has three Henrys (father, brother, husband - this is part of Colwin's sly humour and what makes her irresistible to me). A family that has a mother who demands propriety and perfection of her daughter, while others seemingly do just what they damn please. Polly's family has great traditions, and they support one another in their own dysfunctional ways, but it's also a family that has left her feeling alone and unseen, despite working tirelessly to meet everyone's needs.
So... Polly has a lover. A lover who she can be herself with, and not have to contort herself for (unless she wants to, of course).
Please, don't judge! Please, prospective readers, be like Laurie Colwin, and meet Polly where she is, and remember how not everyone lives in some kind of utopia where their needs are met and they make all the "right" decisions. If you do, you will be vastly rewarded.
As I mentioned, this book is delightful and ironic, and funny, and very warm, and full of tempting food references (Colwin wrote cookbooks too, goddess that she was). But one thing it's not is sentimental or moralizing, and while the ending might be surprising to some, it rings entirely true to me.
I just loved it. A spectacular addition to my favourites shelf!
Polly is part of a very close knit family. A family that has three Henrys (father, brother, husband - this is part of Colwin's sly humour and what makes her irresistible to me). A family that has a mother who demands propriety and perfection of her daughter, while others seemingly do just what they damn please. Polly's family has great traditions, and they support one another in their own dysfunctional ways, but it's also a family that has left her feeling alone and unseen, despite working tirelessly to meet everyone's needs.
So... Polly has a lover. A lover who she can be herself with, and not have to contort herself for (unless she wants to, of course).
Please, don't judge! Please, prospective readers, be like Laurie Colwin, and meet Polly where she is, and remember how not everyone lives in some kind of utopia where their needs are met and they make all the "right" decisions. If you do, you will be vastly rewarded.
As I mentioned, this book is delightful and ironic, and funny, and very warm, and full of tempting food references (Colwin wrote cookbooks too, goddess that she was). But one thing it's not is sentimental or moralizing, and while the ending might be surprising to some, it rings entirely true to me.
I just loved it. A spectacular addition to my favourites shelf!
August 18, 2017
I've read this book several times at different stages of my marriage, and there is no getting away from the fact that I overly identify with its protagonist Polly Solo-Miller Demarest. I've underlined many passages in this book, and as I reread at 50 it occurs to me that those marked passages are as revealing as a diary would be. Why do some women feel that they must always serve, and be as perfect as possible, in order to be loved? I don't think my own daughters will suffer from this affliction; in fact, I'm sure they will not. And I'm glad they will never demand so little and put up with so much. Polly whines and agonises too much - for me, that repetition is the only flaw of the novel - but of course guilt and impossibly high moral standards are at the heart of her character.
Colwin is an elegant stylist and I love her New York City setting and her gift for domestic and cultural detail. So many phrases from this novel, so perfectly worded, have stuck with me forever.
Colwin is an elegant stylist and I love her New York City setting and her gift for domestic and cultural detail. So many phrases from this novel, so perfectly worded, have stuck with me forever.
March 29, 2023
I read my first novel by Laurie Colwin last year. Shout out to Julie G. for putting her on my radar. After reading this one, I know that I am totally hooked. I’d even read a bad book of hers over so many others out there.
In this book, the main focus is Polly Demarest, a well to do woman who has come to a crossroads in her life. She is tired of feeling like she always has to be perfect- a perfect wife, a perfect, daughter, a perfect mother, a perfect sister. Not one member of her family see her for herself.
“ A good wife’s job was to create a haven in a heartless world, Polly knew, and to compensate men with understanding and love for the perils in their lives.”
“ Over the years the feeling that for all she gave she only came second to work.”
Laurie Colwin’s writing style is clear and straight forward. Each character is well drawn out. She simply strikes the right chord with every sentence. Polly, with her inner turmoil, could be any of many women I know. I think that if men read this book with an open mind, they could learn lots about us “women”.
I liked seeing Polly learn to stand up for herself. I could not relate to the path she took, but I could relate to many of the feelings she experienced.
This book races the question- What’s more important family happiness or individual happiness? Do we need our family to be happy in order for us to be happy? Does not our being happy affect those closest to us?
“Falling in love opened the world up to her in a way it had not been opened before. Everything occurred to her: her place in her marriage, her place in her family, her place in herself.”
This book was written in 1984. The more things change, the more they stay the same. I absolutely loved this book!
Published: 1984
In this book, the main focus is Polly Demarest, a well to do woman who has come to a crossroads in her life. She is tired of feeling like she always has to be perfect- a perfect wife, a perfect, daughter, a perfect mother, a perfect sister. Not one member of her family see her for herself.
“ A good wife’s job was to create a haven in a heartless world, Polly knew, and to compensate men with understanding and love for the perils in their lives.”
“ Over the years the feeling that for all she gave she only came second to work.”
Laurie Colwin’s writing style is clear and straight forward. Each character is well drawn out. She simply strikes the right chord with every sentence. Polly, with her inner turmoil, could be any of many women I know. I think that if men read this book with an open mind, they could learn lots about us “women”.
I liked seeing Polly learn to stand up for herself. I could not relate to the path she took, but I could relate to many of the feelings she experienced.
This book races the question- What’s more important family happiness or individual happiness? Do we need our family to be happy in order for us to be happy? Does not our being happy affect those closest to us?
“Falling in love opened the world up to her in a way it had not been opened before. Everything occurred to her: her place in her marriage, her place in her family, her place in herself.”
This book was written in 1984. The more things change, the more they stay the same. I absolutely loved this book!
Published: 1984
February 7, 2017
¿Puede uno enamorarse de un libro? Si es así, no hay duda de que yo me he enamorado de Felicidad familiar. Se llame como se llame, el sentimiento que me despiertan los libros de Laurie Colwin son producto de algo más que una simple meritocracia. Seguramente habrá por ahí montones de obras que sobrepasen las cualidades literarias de este. Sin embargo, pocos alcanzan a trasmitir la misma autenticidad, la naturalidad y el profundo entendimiento de los lazos familiares que la autora demuestra poseer aquí. En un tono entre compungido y desesperado, la narradora de Felicidad familiar describe los pormenores de su vida aparentemente perfecta e idílica como miembro de un ancestral clan de juristas norteamericanos. No obstante, lo que a todas luces parece una existencia plácida y sin preocupaciones se derrumba por completo cuando aparece en su camino un pintor solitario del que se enamora perdidamente. La infidelidad, inconcebible para alguien que lleva desde siempre interpretando un papel de mujer, hija, hermana y esposa intachable, supone una caída a un tormentoso infierno personal que Laurie Colwin utiliza como pretexto para reflexionar de manera muy inteligente sobre la culpa, la responsabilidad, las cargas familiares, el amor y el sentido (o no) de perseguir la felicidad aun cuando eso signifique renunciar a todo cuanto has conocido. Maravillosa Colwin, y maravillosa la decisión tomada por Libros del Asteroide de seguir apostando por ella.
December 10, 2018
Update for 20th read (give or take):
Seriously, can someone else besides me read this book and tell me why I like it so much when so many other people hate it?
One of my all-time absolute favorites. I read it every couple of years. It influenced me as both a reader and a writer. And you know what? Everyone I've recommended it to hated it. I mean they loathed it. I can appreciate why but I don't know why everything that irritated the shit out of them appealed to me.
I love this book. I don’t want to be overly dramatic and say this book changed my life, but something about it resonated. That, to me, is the key definition of a Good Book: it has passages that ring the bell in the cathedral of your soul, make you mark pages, reach for a pencil or post-it to jot down passages. A book that makes you thump your forehead with your palm, thinking “Yes…yes exactly…that’s just what I felt but I didn’t have the words.”
Read my full blog post about Laurie Colwin here: http://www.suannelaqueur.com/laurie-c...
One of my all-time absolute favorites. I read it every couple of years. It influenced me as both a reader and a writer. And you know what? Everyone I've recommended it to hated it. I mean they loathed it. I can appreciate why but I don't know why everything that irritated the shit out of them appealed to me.
I love this book. I don’t want to be overly dramatic and say this book changed my life, but something about it resonated. That, to me, is the key definition of a Good Book: it has passages that ring the bell in the cathedral of your soul, make you mark pages, reach for a pencil or post-it to jot down passages. A book that makes you thump your forehead with your palm, thinking “Yes…yes exactly…that’s just what I felt but I didn’t have the words.”
Read my full blog post about Laurie Colwin here: http://www.suannelaqueur.com/laurie-c...
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April 12, 2022A re-read—how many times have I read this novel? Five? Love it.
June 2, 2023
I said I was going to review this after vacation but here I am. I would like to say it is because I am a responsible GR reviewer, but that is a very partial truth. The insanity of the Hanoi Old City Night Market was too much for me tonight. When I was 22 this was heaven, but at my advanced age after getting up at 6 am and traipsing around Vientiane for 7 hours in 112 degree heat (not an misprint) before bolting to the airport and navigating all that jazz I am over the weather and I need a little quiet and the night market is nothing but heat and noise. At this moment I want people to stop jumping out and haranguing me, and for sure I want to stop worrying I am going to be hit by a vehicle every 11 seconds. And so I sent my travel companions on and I came back for a shower, a cup of tea, and a little quiet. I may run up to the roof bar later if I am feeling revived by writing this review, we shall see. Ho Chi Minh's tomb is across town and only open from 7:30-10:30 am so I need to be up early. A review and tea may be the end of the evening for me.
If you have gotten this far while muttering to yourself "what does this have to do with the book?" I appreciate your patience -- and in answer I have to say that everything I have written thus far has fuck all do to do with the book, but I have GR freinds interested in what I am doing and this is for them. From here on out this is all about Laurie Colwin and her gorgeous complicated tale.
Family Happiness tells us the story of Polly Solo-Miller Demarest, born to a demanding family quite convinced of their superiority and filled with some of the most horrid people you will ever meet in life or literature. This family of unyielding unreasonable throwbacks looks to Polly to be their resolute center. She is the person that gets things done, who supports her siblings and parents as they wish to be supported, provides a perfect home for her (actually) perfect husband and her perfect children (all of whom she loves.) Polly is charming and smart and modern. She cooks like a 4-star chef, dresses in the finest of Park Avenue matron appropriate clothing, darns her husband's socks, supports her precocious children's varied interests. She also holds a job she loves and at which she excels (though her horrid and stupid mother constantly prevails upon her to quit because Polly's job is inconvenient for said horrid and stupid mother since there are moments Polly cannot be available to meet her every need.) In short, Polly is the perfect woman. I kept thinking of the description of an "accomplished woman" offered by Caroline Bingley in Pride and Prejudice:
“A woman must have a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing, and the modern languages, to deserve the word; and besides all this, she must possess a certain something in her air and manner of walking, the tone of her voice, her address and expressions, or the word will be but half-deserved.”
Polly though has a juicy little secret. She has been having a very fulfilling affair for quite some time with Lincoln. Lincoln (she calls him Linky, and that almost spoiled the whole for me) unlike every other person in her inner circle asks little of her. He is a solitary fellow, with no interest in having a wife or family. He wants to paint, he wants to love Polly, and he wants to create paintings of Polly that show how much he loves Polly. Lincoln actually makes Polly better, he gives her the attention her workaholic husband cannot always provide, he supports her as she considers setting boundaries with a family that has none, and he fits rather well into her life in every way. She can hardly run off and travel, or buy a Porsche, She has found a very convenient way to enjoy life's joys at a time when lifes' taxes are much in evidence. Sometimes Colwin makes it too easy to justify Polly's infidelity. In real life her time with Lincoln would impact others. Yes she has a nanny and a babysitter so the kids are cared for, but they certainly have less of their mother. Her family is full of assholes so we celebrate her giving less of herself to them, but in reality aging parents need their adult children to step up a bit, and in real life unlike in this book Polly's parents would likely have some redeeming qualities that would make us want for her to offer them some care. Also, it is hard to see in this book when exactly Polly works, and I have to guess Lincoln would, in life play havoc with her professional life. I would take a half star for making that all so neat, but still rounding up to a GR5 for this beautifully written and ceaselessly enjoyable read about a woman reclaiming her agency in a world that tries hard to deny it.
My unending gratitude to Julie G for continuing ot beat the drum for Ms. Colwin's work. I will be reading more!
January 7, 2019
Only Laurie Colwin can write a book about someone in a happy marriage conducting a long-term affair and make you understand and care about everyone. I just love her writing.
November 28, 2021
Family Happiness seemed to me to be high quality chick-lit. (I'm not sure if that's an oxymoron. If it is, I'm happy to take credit for coining it.) The plot involves a large old money family - to call them snobs would be an understatement - with a daughter who's married to a high powered lawyer and who's having an affair with a painter. I probably should have returned it to the library, 3/4th unread, but I was curious as to how the author would resolve things. I guess I also could have just skipped to the last 30-40 pages to find out, but I consider that cheating. (Considering the events of the novel, that last sentence appears to be a bad pun. It wasn't intended as such when I wrote it, but it is that.)
A good (or even not so good) editor could have shortened this book by one third simply by eliminating all of the angst and hand wringing that the protagonist puts the reader through - I love my husband but he takes me for granted; I love my paramour but he only wants to see me occasionally. She could have flipped a coin: heads- husband, tails - lover, and let it go at that.
"When she was feeling especially terrible Polly tried one of two things. First she would buck herself up by telling herself that her sufferings were tiny - that she was not sick or maimed or poor or alone and that she was simply a spoiled brat. This never seemed to work ..."
Why not? It nails her perfectly.
"For goodness' sake, Polly, said Henry. I am making a project of you. First you say I neglect you, then you say I pay you too much court."
Who talks like this? Perhaps high priced lawyers do. I admit that I've never met one of those.
I've seen a couple of articles recently which suggested that Laurie Colwin's books are having a revival. I guess that means that there's an audience out there for them. I don't include myself in that audience. I'll remember this book for the time I spent reading it. That time could have been spent reading a better book.
A good (or even not so good) editor could have shortened this book by one third simply by eliminating all of the angst and hand wringing that the protagonist puts the reader through - I love my husband but he takes me for granted; I love my paramour but he only wants to see me occasionally. She could have flipped a coin: heads- husband, tails - lover, and let it go at that.
"When she was feeling especially terrible Polly tried one of two things. First she would buck herself up by telling herself that her sufferings were tiny - that she was not sick or maimed or poor or alone and that she was simply a spoiled brat. This never seemed to work ..."
Why not? It nails her perfectly.
"For goodness' sake, Polly, said Henry. I am making a project of you. First you say I neglect you, then you say I pay you too much court."
Who talks like this? Perhaps high priced lawyers do. I admit that I've never met one of those.
I've seen a couple of articles recently which suggested that Laurie Colwin's books are having a revival. I guess that means that there's an audience out there for them. I don't include myself in that audience. I'll remember this book for the time I spent reading it. That time could have been spent reading a better book.
December 20, 2023
4 1/2 stars
How do I love thee, Laurie Colwin? In so many ways and through so many stories! I've loved you since discovering you in the late 1970's and now from the love you're getting from renewed interest in your books. I've said before that Colwin's novels usually have a main character who is quirky and prickly, fighting against normalcy, but who eventually is at peace with who she is. In this outing, it's the opposite! Polly Demarest, part of a wealthy Jewish NYC family, is the perfect daughter, wife and mother, always there for everyone. She comes to learn, through an affair, that she is taken for granted, exhausted by being there for everyone and lonely. I couldn't decide whether I was annoyed by Polly's constant agonizing about her betrayal of her family and husband or whether I was rooting for her to come into her own. I came down on the side of rooting for her! Another satisfying Colwin story of "real life".
Why I'm reading this: I love Laurie Colwin stories, whether in short story or novel form. Can't wait to dig into this one.
How do I love thee, Laurie Colwin? In so many ways and through so many stories! I've loved you since discovering you in the late 1970's and now from the love you're getting from renewed interest in your books. I've said before that Colwin's novels usually have a main character who is quirky and prickly, fighting against normalcy, but who eventually is at peace with who she is. In this outing, it's the opposite! Polly Demarest, part of a wealthy Jewish NYC family, is the perfect daughter, wife and mother, always there for everyone. She comes to learn, through an affair, that she is taken for granted, exhausted by being there for everyone and lonely. I couldn't decide whether I was annoyed by Polly's constant agonizing about her betrayal of her family and husband or whether I was rooting for her to come into her own. I came down on the side of rooting for her! Another satisfying Colwin story of "real life".
Why I'm reading this: I love Laurie Colwin stories, whether in short story or novel form. Can't wait to dig into this one.
August 28, 2016
What a disappointing story, about an old-money New Yorker who feels torn between her insufferable, snobbish family and her commitment-phobic artist-lover. I'm so angry, because I've really enjoyed everything else I've read by Laurie Colwin, and this book casts it all in a new light. Colwin writes about rich, well-educated, beautiful, introspective people who wear beautiful clothes and listen to classical music and drink coffee in bed and talk about love with their partners as rain taps against the windows. In her better novels, I have LAPPED THAT UP, but here you see the sickening decadence of her worldview. I mean, for God's sake: Not only has the protagonist of this novel never bought canned vegetables in her life, she thinks it's low-class to buy food at a regular grocery store.
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March 27, 2024I'm so thankful that BookTube/Bookstagram alerted me to the fact that Laurie Colwin published novels as well as food writing. I buddy read Family Happiness with Jen from Jen's Reading Life. Jen is a huge fan of Laurie Colwin's writing, so that was a big treat for me. I was immediately engaged with the story. Laurie Colwin's writing has a wonderful clarity and charm to it. Her characters are so very quirky and she chooses just the right words to bring the characters to life. I gasped out loud at her description of one character (Lincoln) and his love of solitude. It described how I feel so poignantly that I copied the lines into my own journal.
Polly Demarest is the heroine of Family Happiness, and she came across as a classic Enneagram 1 to me. (I should know as I'm an Enneagram 1 too!) She is an excellent manager of her own life, which includes her busy lawyer husband, two children, and her extended (and very quirky) family. She is always reliable, never forgets to pick up anything or to celebrate anything, is unflappable and unflustered. She can always be counted on to be present, to listen, to put others first. She is a great cook, excels at work, she loves her family devotedly, etc. etc. And then one day, she meets Lincoln and falls into an affair with him almost before she realizes what has happened. This secret behind the perfect facade of her life causes her to examine her life intensely and minutely. Why is she having an affair if she is satisfied with everything in her life? The answer is that she's not satisfied and hasn't been for a long time. But it's not just her marriage that is struggling. Polly is beginning to realize that the roots of her present discontent go back a long way.
Jen and I talked a lot about how this book is almost more about mothers and daughters than it is about husbands/wives/lovers. Polly's mother Wendy has been shaped in a particular mold: the men in your life are more important than the women. Wendy shaped Polly to be this way, so Polly has no boundaries with her family. She always gives way, she always bends, she always gives up. For example, Polly has a job she loves, but no one cares to ask her about it. Her family even treats it as negligible. Her mother is constantly telling her that her job takes her away from her children, even though this is clearly not true. This core issue manifests itself in so many ways in Polly's life that it takes her a long time in the novel to disentangle her own personhood from her family's expectations for women and for Polly in particular.
Polly Demarest is the heroine of Family Happiness, and she came across as a classic Enneagram 1 to me. (I should know as I'm an Enneagram 1 too!) She is an excellent manager of her own life, which includes her busy lawyer husband, two children, and her extended (and very quirky) family. She is always reliable, never forgets to pick up anything or to celebrate anything, is unflappable and unflustered. She can always be counted on to be present, to listen, to put others first. She is a great cook, excels at work, she loves her family devotedly, etc. etc. And then one day, she meets Lincoln and falls into an affair with him almost before she realizes what has happened. This secret behind the perfect facade of her life causes her to examine her life intensely and minutely. Why is she having an affair if she is satisfied with everything in her life? The answer is that she's not satisfied and hasn't been for a long time. But it's not just her marriage that is struggling. Polly is beginning to realize that the roots of her present discontent go back a long way.
Jen and I talked a lot about how this book is almost more about mothers and daughters than it is about husbands/wives/lovers. Polly's mother Wendy has been shaped in a particular mold: the men in your life are more important than the women. Wendy shaped Polly to be this way, so Polly has no boundaries with her family. She always gives way, she always bends, she always gives up. For example, Polly has a job she loves, but no one cares to ask her about it. Her family even treats it as negligible. Her mother is constantly telling her that her job takes her away from her children, even though this is clearly not true. This core issue manifests itself in so many ways in Polly's life that it takes her a long time in the novel to disentangle her own personhood from her family's expectations for women and for Polly in particular.
September 28, 2020
I think my reading is frequently a barometer of where I am emotionally and in my life. I came to romance somewhat late. And I thoroughly enjoyed a kind of book early in my romance reading that I couldn’t get through now even with financial inducement.
And then I found a different kind of romance book I enjoyed. And then another kind. And another. And now I need to not read romance. I’m not sure that I can explain why. It just isn’t what I need at the moment.
So I’ve turned to...idk...would you call it “women’s fiction?” Perhaps. I’m really in a place to read about suffering and overcoming and strong female characters who are their own hero. I’m indulging my reading needs. And this book was, to some degree, the ultimate indulgence.
At first I thought maybe it would be funny. Sarcastic. And I guess it was - a little. In the way that very New York New Yorkers are dry by default. I kept trying to put this book into a category. To anticipate what was going to happen next. And at some point, as it slowly unfolded, it became evident how woman-centric and singular this book is. I haven’t read anything like it. I can’t imagine that I will again. It was a languorous and decadent story told in a unique way.
I’m not recommending this to anyone as it’s another outlier.
And then I found a different kind of romance book I enjoyed. And then another kind. And another. And now I need to not read romance. I’m not sure that I can explain why. It just isn’t what I need at the moment.
So I’ve turned to...idk...would you call it “women’s fiction?” Perhaps. I’m really in a place to read about suffering and overcoming and strong female characters who are their own hero. I’m indulging my reading needs. And this book was, to some degree, the ultimate indulgence.
At first I thought maybe it would be funny. Sarcastic. And I guess it was - a little. In the way that very New York New Yorkers are dry by default. I kept trying to put this book into a category. To anticipate what was going to happen next. And at some point, as it slowly unfolded, it became evident how woman-centric and singular this book is. I haven’t read anything like it. I can’t imagine that I will again. It was a languorous and decadent story told in a unique way.
I’m not recommending this to anyone as it’s another outlier.
February 14, 2017
Creo que una de las cosas más sentidas que he tenido el placer de disfrutar en esta vida es el capítulo diez de 'Felicidad Familiar', que leí, dichosa la fortuna, con 'Zamba Para No Morir', de Hugo Díaz, de fondo.
A partir de la página 200 el libro se vuelve un derroche de vida, un reflejo en el espejo. Como decía Salinger, leer le permite a uno descubrir que no es la primera persona a quien la conducta humana le ha confundido, asustado e incluso asqueado.
Una de esas obras que te recuerdan que no estás solo, que otros han padecido tus sentimientos. Y eso es algo simplemente maravilloso. Gracias, Laurie. Gracias.
A partir de la página 200 el libro se vuelve un derroche de vida, un reflejo en el espejo. Como decía Salinger, leer le permite a uno descubrir que no es la primera persona a quien la conducta humana le ha confundido, asustado e incluso asqueado.
Una de esas obras que te recuerdan que no estás solo, que otros han padecido tus sentimientos. Y eso es algo simplemente maravilloso. Gracias, Laurie. Gracias.
May 19, 2024
Cool, so Laurie Colwin knows exactly how to mess with my heart. This was sentimental and a gut punch at the same time. I think it needed to be a bit shorter. The ending was very interesting to me and felt very modern (as in circa 2010s to now). I wasn’t expecting it and was pleasantly surprised by it. Curious to read more of her stuff!
November 24, 2023
Versión "veintechera" de la novela de adulterio decimonónica. Contiene más Tolstoi que Flaubert, y no poco Austen
Porque sí, esta es una de esas novelas con heroína encantadora que acaba más sabia de lo que empezó principalmente porque se conoce mejor a sí misma.
Lástima (1) que la narración dé tantas vueltas en torno a lo "malbién" que se siente la protagonista todo el rato y (2) que las escenas sean tan parecidas unas a las otras, sin apenas evolución.
Gracias a esta novela me he dado cuenta de que tengo un límite en el número de veces que se me puede contar un encuentro clandestino entre dos amantes que acaba con una despedida tristona. Y diría que ese límite es exactamente dos. A partir de dos ya empiezo a poner los ojos en blanco.
Pero el principio me ha encantado y el retrato de las dinámicas familiares también.
Porque sí, esta es una de esas novelas con heroína encantadora que acaba más sabia de lo que empezó principalmente porque se conoce mejor a sí misma.
Lástima (1) que la narración dé tantas vueltas en torno a lo "malbién" que se siente la protagonista todo el rato y (2) que las escenas sean tan parecidas unas a las otras, sin apenas evolución.
Gracias a esta novela me he dado cuenta de que tengo un límite en el número de veces que se me puede contar un encuentro clandestino entre dos amantes que acaba con una despedida tristona. Y diría que ese límite es exactamente dos. A partir de dos ya empiezo a poner los ojos en blanco.
Pero el principio me ha encantado y el retrato de las dinámicas familiares también.
March 9, 2017
Hubiera estrangulado a la protagonista
November 20, 2014
Have I mentioned that I love Laurie Colwin? The sad thing is that there is only one more of her novels I haven't read yet.
Colwin's writing elevates the domestic fiction genre to literature that smart women will love. Every detail of the setting comforted me while the characters and dialogue exposed conflicts that live in my own heart. Subtle, gorgeous, and ultimately surprising--this book is now one of my all time favorites.
Colwin's writing elevates the domestic fiction genre to literature that smart women will love. Every detail of the setting comforted me while the characters and dialogue exposed conflicts that live in my own heart. Subtle, gorgeous, and ultimately surprising--this book is now one of my all time favorites.
December 22, 2025
i think (or i am strongly convinced) I’ve found a new favourite author. I can’t get enough of laurie colwin’s work.
January 2, 2026
3.5. love a laurie colwin book. she‘s funny and writes beautifully about people and food. however, i hate cheating and bad translations.
March 27, 2024
"How private private lives were, Polly thought. How hidden were the real lives people lived!"
Laurie Colwin is my favorite writer for illuminating the private lives lived by ordinary people. In Family Happiness, we follow Polly, a mother and wife who is having an affair that belies the image she portrays of the perfect woman. This perfection has been thrust upon her by her family and isn't really something Polly wants. And so she wrestles with her need for perfection and her love for Lincoln, the man she is having the affair with. I love how Colwin shows all the imperfect messiness that lies beneath the gleaming exteriors of families who seem to have it all. And as Polly chips away at her own perfection, we see the facade of the family come crumbling down (at least to some extent).
A novel about a love affair may be off-putting to some but I think Colwin handles it with a very skilled hand, showing us the nuances that lie in the choices people make when they are unfaithful. And what about when the people we love let us down in so many ways and yet they are not condemned for their actions. Should Polly be condemned for hers? It is an interesting question and Family Happiness allows for a lot of reflection on how we judge others.
Colwin is brilliant at writing about relationships, about the quirks and foibles of ordinary people living their lives, and also food! Never start a Colwin story on an empty stomach!
Laurie Colwin is my favorite writer for illuminating the private lives lived by ordinary people. In Family Happiness, we follow Polly, a mother and wife who is having an affair that belies the image she portrays of the perfect woman. This perfection has been thrust upon her by her family and isn't really something Polly wants. And so she wrestles with her need for perfection and her love for Lincoln, the man she is having the affair with. I love how Colwin shows all the imperfect messiness that lies beneath the gleaming exteriors of families who seem to have it all. And as Polly chips away at her own perfection, we see the facade of the family come crumbling down (at least to some extent).
A novel about a love affair may be off-putting to some but I think Colwin handles it with a very skilled hand, showing us the nuances that lie in the choices people make when they are unfaithful. And what about when the people we love let us down in so many ways and yet they are not condemned for their actions. Should Polly be condemned for hers? It is an interesting question and Family Happiness allows for a lot of reflection on how we judge others.
Colwin is brilliant at writing about relationships, about the quirks and foibles of ordinary people living their lives, and also food! Never start a Colwin story on an empty stomach!
February 21, 2024
Hop hop hop little fluffy Polly bunny
Polly realizes she is depressed, no one pays attention to her
whine whine whine
Polly starts a love affair because she doesn't like her family:
she is perfect but they are flawed
whine whine whine.
A year in New York with doormen, nannies, analysts and part time jobs.
There is a dog who learns to sing.
whine whine.
a lot of whining. I didn't feel sorry for Polly.
Laurie Colwin died before she turned 50 of a brain aneurysm, which is pretty tragic though.
Polly realizes she is depressed, no one pays attention to her
whine whine whine
Polly starts a love affair because she doesn't like her family:
she is perfect but they are flawed
whine whine whine.
A year in New York with doormen, nannies, analysts and part time jobs.
There is a dog who learns to sing.
whine whine.
a lot of whining. I didn't feel sorry for Polly.
Laurie Colwin died before she turned 50 of a brain aneurysm, which is pretty tragic though.
November 25, 2022
This took me almost a month to read! I was so excited to read this because I loved Happy All The Time and this started really similarly and I guess dealt with similar themes and ideas and whatnot but I just didn’t love it. And that’s fine! I recognised Polly, I understood Polly, and I recognised her useless and rude and ungrateful family. But I didn’t find the love story compelling and I didn’t think the ending was that clever. Ah, well.
April 15, 2017
Está tan bien escrita y es tan luminosa que no importa que los temas que trata nos sean ya muy familiares: la crisis de identidad, la infidelidad en la edad madura, la presión de pertenecer a una familia exigente...
Quizá las introspecciones de Polly, la protagonista, sean demasiado numerosas y algo repetitivas, pero el conjunto es tan brillante que merece la pena.
Quizá las introspecciones de Polly, la protagonista, sean demasiado numerosas y algo repetitivas, pero el conjunto es tan brillante que merece la pena.
September 6, 2012
Laurie Colwin is one of my favorite authors. Makes me sad that she died so young! Her novels are deceptively simple. She always make you think twice about the choices we make in life as women. Read her writing about food too! Excellent!
March 26, 2023
Esta historia se adentra en las intimidades de la familia de abogados Solo-Miller, o más concretamente, en la figura de Polly Solo-Miller: mujer casada con el prestigioso Henry y con dos hijos que de puertas para afuera proyecta la imagen de ser una perfecta mujer profesional en su campo y una envidiable ama de casa, pero que esconde el secreto de su aventura con un pintor amigo de la familia llamado Lincoln.
El tono de esta novela, muy tranquilo como ya acostumbraba la autora en Tantos días felices, describe sobre todo la relación de Polly con su amante y no tanto con su marido: ella confiesa que gran parte de su felicidad actual proviene de mantener esa aventura y que ese hombre es necesario, tanto como puedan ser sus hijos, su familia y también el hecho de mantener a su marido cerca. Sin embargo, ella es consciente de que está mal lo que hace y quiere dejar la relación, sin saber cómo hacerlo sin destrozarse a sí misma. Las comparaciones con el resto de la familia Solo-Miller son constantes, aunque dan la sensación de estar un poco como adorno, ya que a excepción de la figura de su madre Wendy no tienen un gran desarrollo. Encuentro un punto débil en la figura del marido Henry, porque no termina de aclararse del todo por qué ese matrimonio es fallido para Polly y solo se apela al hecho de que trabaja mucho.
La otra novela que he citado me pareció mucho más eficaz y satisfactoria, aquí veo un desbordamiento sentimental bien planteado de una protagonista que deja demasiados flecos al aire y que genera una historia que acaba excendiéndose en su duración y sin tener grandes motivaciones.
El tono de esta novela, muy tranquilo como ya acostumbraba la autora en Tantos días felices, describe sobre todo la relación de Polly con su amante y no tanto con su marido: ella confiesa que gran parte de su felicidad actual proviene de mantener esa aventura y que ese hombre es necesario, tanto como puedan ser sus hijos, su familia y también el hecho de mantener a su marido cerca. Sin embargo, ella es consciente de que está mal lo que hace y quiere dejar la relación, sin saber cómo hacerlo sin destrozarse a sí misma. Las comparaciones con el resto de la familia Solo-Miller son constantes, aunque dan la sensación de estar un poco como adorno, ya que a excepción de la figura de su madre Wendy no tienen un gran desarrollo. Encuentro un punto débil en la figura del marido Henry, porque no termina de aclararse del todo por qué ese matrimonio es fallido para Polly y solo se apela al hecho de que trabaja mucho.
La otra novela que he citado me pareció mucho más eficaz y satisfactoria, aquí veo un desbordamiento sentimental bien planteado de una protagonista que deja demasiados flecos al aire y que genera una historia que acaba excendiéndose en su duración y sin tener grandes motivaciones.
Want to read
May 31, 2024Hmmm Idk if I like this book bc I hate cheating trope, but I will try.
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