Broken Children, Grown-Up Pain (Revised): Understanding the Effects of Your Wounded Past

by Paul Hegstrom

Despair. Emotional isolation. Self-loathing. Immaturity. Abusive actions.These are just some of the damaging fragments that remain embedded within our personalities, behaviors, and souls when we are broken as children. The memory of the past may seem distant and clouded, but within its scars deep wounds remain that continue to inflict pain upon our adult lives--and often end up spilling into the lives of others.In Broken Children, Grown-Up Pain, Paul Hegstrom, author of Angry Men and the Women Who Love Them, shows us the scars from his broken childhood and shares practical and proven methods for facing and dealing with the pain of the past. By using scientific research, psychological studies, and biblical principles--especially those found in the Jewish model of raising children--he points us to the place of healing where we are finally free to pursue authentic relationships and build healthy emotional intimacy with others.This updated version of Broken Children, Grown-Up Pain is an excellent resource for pastors, teachers, counselors, psychologists, parents, or anyone wounded by an abusive past.

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction, Self Help, Counselling

152 pages, Paperback

First published December 3, 2005

Reviews

[Aggie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I couldn't have read this book at a better time in my life. I have learned a lot about myself and more importantly, how I can start healing from the wounds of my childhood. I think EVERYONE should read this book!

[Brandee Shafer · Rating 4 out of 5]

I made a point of buying and reading this book because I really connected with Deborah Leigh Alexander's story, and in her book, she recommended Broken Children, Grown-Up Pain very highly. I really liked it. Hegstrom covers/offers a lot in a concise, direct, no-nonsense way. He relies with balance on science, scripture, and personal experience.

Hegstrom wants readers to recognize: they could not prevent and are not responsible for the hurt inflicted upon them before puberty, but they are responsible for their adult, reactive behavior and need to have teachable spirits. His book encourages readers to overcome arrested development and move into full maturity.

I would claim neither that Broken Children, Grown-Up Pain is perfectly organized nor that it provides an in-depth explanation of every topic (the way in which the human brain works, for example, or codependency), but part of its appeal lies in its brevity and preliminary feel. I recommend it to anyone just realizing that junk from childhood has carried over into his/her adult life, especially if (s)he has (or is open to) a relationship with Christ and wants to change and/or break cycles.

I finished Hegstrom's book feeling edified and hopeful.

[Andy Anderson · Rating 4 out of 5]

we must confront our wounded past to grow in Christ. Our wounds have shaped us good or bad. When these injustices control our lives we are anemic and need the Spirit and Grace of God to minister to us. But we need to tell someone first. Good book on how our past can control our lives. Healing can happen if we want it to....

[Jacob Covell · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not an easy read, but definitely helpful when you’re trying to make sense of how you see the world around you when your relationships growing up were a little murky. Super helpful in connecting some of those dots and learning where to let go and how to heal.

[Mehedi · Rating 5 out of 5]

i think it will be good cause It has so many reviews.

[jennifer klug]

life changing resource

[Jasonlylescampbell · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good book about how we get arrested in development and though we physically grow we remain childlike in much of our behavior. "When wounded the child spends more time looking for trouble than learning, playing, exploring and maturing" ... hyper-vigilance is the result. There is a part of the brain which we use to deal with trauma ... kind of our alert sensor that is able to override everything else. If that sensor is set off when we are young or often when we are young, we can get stuck in alert mode. Afterward all the data first passes through that early wound. We lose touch with reality ... and only see hurt and potential hurt.

There was interesting insight from Jewish culture which divides childhood into 1-13 (Age of Directive) and 13-30 (Age of Decision). The Bar Mitza is the initiation into the new half. The first half the parents teach about making decisions, but making good decisions for the child. At 13 the child begins to make their own decisions with the covering and advise (but not directives) of his elders. At 30 there is another ceremony where the father says: "From now on, son, you will be responsible for the consequences of your behavior and your decisions." He even prays "Jehovah, I thank you for releasing me from the responsibility of the consequences of this child's decisions and behavior." Its at 30 that the child enters "full stature". Interesting thinking about Jesus and his public ministry.

[Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent insight on why wounded people react the way they do.